People Hope To Improve Themselves After Telling Their "Am I The Jerk?" Stories

"Last spring, we lost my MIL to cancer.

She fought for years. MIL was big on family gatherings and we decided to uphold her tradition of weekly meetings so that we all stay connected instead of drifting apart.

Out of the 3 families, we have the most spacious accommodations and it became the unspoken rule that we'd host. The only rule we set was everyone would take turns covering dinner.

When we'd get together we'd either play games: board or video, watch movies, or occasionally go out and do an activity. As more time passed it became a just go to OP's house and have fun.

Here's the issue: while it was initially agreed upon that everyone would take turns getting dinner, whether it'd be making it or buying out, it's become solely me and my husband doing it.

I brought this up to him and he said he'd talk to his brothers about it. It started off okay and just reverted back to us providing it.

Last weekend my husband went all out and made a huge breakfast buffet-style dinner. It was delicious and everyone enjoyed it.

Until my SiL's off-handed comment 'Oh wow, I can't wait to see what you make us next week.'

I looked at my husband and then at her and said, 'Oh, I didn't realize that we were feeding you all again.'

Of course, this made the room go silent and my BiL stated that they'd buy some frozen pizzas to cover our next get-together, but I was fuming because it just solidified in my mind that they were expecting us to cover everything.

After everyone left my husband got a message from his brother stating I had been rude to his wife with my comment. My husband defended me and told him we've been feeding 3 families every time we get together and it isn't cheap so my comment, while snarky I admit, was justified. I am just wondering if I was a jerk for saying anything at all."

Another User Comments:

"NTJ. I understand that your house is most likely the best for hosting but somehow these people forgot the agreement of everyone taking turns. Have your husband set up an online calendar and sign up for every third week. Let the others sign up for the others.

If they want to host at your place great but make it clear that your week means you provide all the food and beverages." SnooBunnies7461

Another User Comments:

"NTJ. If you want to keep things going, I'd write up a schedule and send it out.

That way it's on paper who is supposed to provide food. And if they 'forget', DON'T provide any food. Just tell them to doordash or 'There's a good restaurant 10 min away. Why don't you order and go pick it up?' If they get snarky with you about not providing food. Absolutely throw the person who was supposed to be under the bus with the rest of the family. 'We've covered more than our fair share of meals and we've continued to use our space to house. Do you know how much effort it takes to do that? I can see now that you were using these events for a free meal and not because you wanted to hang out with family. We do not appreciate you taking advantage of our generosity.'" porkypandas