People Hound Us To Comment On Their "Am I The Jerk" Stories
34. AITJ For Sleeping Without Clothes On?
“My (24 m) significant other (23 f) have known each other for about a year because of adjacent friend groups and have been together for close to three months. We’re at the point in our relationship where she’s starting to spend the night.
I’ve also got a three-year-old Samoyed named Sheldon living with me. He’s just about my favorite person in the world.
He’s got his own bed but sometimes decides that he wants to sleep with me, and I let him.
The issue for my SO is that I sleep without clothes. I always have. When she found out that I let my dog into my bed while I’m exposed, she was upset and told me that it was weird.
I asked why, and she said it just was, normal people don’t do that.
I told her that was stupid. He’s just a dog; to him, me having no clothes is just the same as me wearing clothes. Besides, when I let him sleep with me, it’s not like I’m letting him into the covers. There’s still a layer of fabric separating my body from him.
But she was still upset, insisting again, that normal people don’t do that. I asked her what, exactly, about it was bothering her so much, and she said that it felt like I was, in her words, ‘having intimate relations with the dog.’
I’ll admit, I found this hilarious. On the one hand, he’s a dog, and on the other, he’s a guy and I’m not gay.
It was also funny how it felt like she wanted to accuse me of bestiality, but couldn’t bring herself to actually say the word. I laughed and she got annoyed.
I decided to start pretending to ‘flirt’ with Sheldon in front of her, cuddling with him and saying things like, ‘It’s okay, she just doesn’t understand our love.’
This annoyed her even more, and eventually, she asked if I loved her more or the dog.
Easy answer, Sheldon. She stormed out of the apartment. I think we’re breaking up, but honestly, I don’t feel too bad about it.
When I was telling my friends about this, though, they did say it was a little weird that I let Sheldon into bed at night knowing that I sleep without clothes. It got me thinking.
So I came here to ask, AITJ?”
33. AITJ For Sending A Group Message To My Neighbors About Cleaning After Their Dogs?
“I (30 f) moved into an apartment a little over a year ago. This is the first place I haven’t had roommates and it even has a small yard for my dog so I was ecstatic that it was in my price range. Since moving in, however, there have been several issues with the other renters.
I’ll attempt to keep this short.
It’s a converted house with a small house that’s also rented out behind it. The top floor tenant gets the driveway, the ground floor has the front yard, and the house behind us and I each have our own backyard sections. My section is also the are the upstairs tenant and backyard tenant use to access their apartments.
The main floor has its own door.
Since I moved in I’ve had multiple issues with them leaving my gates open, leaving the door open in subzero weather, taking my stuff out of my yard, putting their stuff in my yard, leaving baby diapers and other garbage in the common area, etc. Most of it I’ve let go in order to be a good neighbor.
However, I feel like it’s all stuff that would benefit all of us if it was addressed.
The big issue is that they let their dogs in my portion of the yard. All of them have done it at varying times over the last year. Their dogs are much bigger and younger than my dog and I worry one of them will be there when I put her out and injure her, or one of them will have some disease that is communicable (like kennel cough) and will expose her to it by pooping/coughing/etc.
in my yard. Not to mention I don’t want to deal with someone else’s big juicy dog turds when they have their own yards for their dogs to use.
Since there are two others in our building that own dogs and I don’t know which dog it was that pooped in my yard the last time, I chose to send a nice text out in a text thread that our landlords and all the tenants are in saying, ‘Please don’t let your dogs in my yard and please clean up their poop’.
This is the second time I’ve done something like this (the first time someone had taken my shovel). I don’t want to be a jerk, but clearly, the nice approach isn’t working and I get sick of cleaning up their messes. AITJ for how I handled it? The poop is still in my yard and I got a passive-aggressive response from one neighbor that makes me worry that maybe I went too far?”
32. AITJ For Applying To College Without My Best Friend?
“Me (17 F) and my best friend (17 F, let’s call her Hanna) were basically childhood best friends. I met her when I was 5 through our parents and we first met at a playground. Hanna came from a wealthy background while I was from an average, middle-class one. When I first met Hanna, she seemed to be shy and polite and we seemingly got along well.
However, the polite mask is thrown away within the first month of meeting her. She became bratty and lazy, always wanting people to do the work for her. Whenever she faces any hard task, she would run away from home and I would always have to catch her.
One day when I was 5, I promised her that I would always stay by her side and that I want to see her shine the most.
Hanna agreed to that promise and our relationship bloomed since.
As a result, I ended up being the one to constantly take care of whatever Hanna doesn’t want to do. I bring her snacks, drive her in my car, plan her outfits, and give her the answers for any school assignment. She always wanted me to take the same classes as her so that she’ll always be dependent on me even though I didn’t want to.
This year, we’re in our senior year and we applied to colleges. My other friend that I made this year, Maya, asked where we want to go. Hanna proudly said Harvard and that she’s going to go with me since she made me apply as well.
I didn’t really want to go to Harvard but I did for the sake of her.
I told Maya that aside from Harvard, I looked into some in-state schools for us such as UVA and Georgetown. I also thanked Maya for helping me study for the SAT as I got a 1500+ from the study sessions after school I did with me, her, and her significant other.
Hanna looked really shocked when I said I was interested in the other schools.
She asked me why I didn’t tell her I applied to Georgetown and UVA and other safeties. I said that it was because I knew she was going to disapprove and that I didn’t want to go to Harvard, I wanted to go to Georgetown. Hanna was livid as she started yelling at me.
She told me that if I got into Georgetown, I should withdraw otherwise she wouldn’t be friends with me.
Maya heavily objected to that, stating that I worked so hard for Georgetown and I shouldn’t give it up for someone who’s so spoiled.
Hanna asked me why I applied to Georgetown when Harvard’s already enough. I told her that I’m not rich like her, college decisions are a gamble and Georgetown is one of my dream schools.
Hanna laughed at me, stating that I would’ve never been good for Georgetown because I’m a selfish brat and when they reject me, I shouldn’t go crying to her.
We haven’t talked after that and although Maya has been comforting me, stating that I should drop Hanna, I still feel bad I went around her back and lied to her. AITJ for applying to college without my best friend?”
31. AITJ For Spilling The Tea To My Dad's Fiancée?
“My father and I are not on great terms. He spends most of my life after my parents’ divorce 10 years ago at his partner’s house. When he was home he would stay in his room and yell at us to do his laundry, dishes, clean, walk the dog, and countless more. Normal chores, except for I was working over 20 hours, going to school, and playing a sport at 15 (I walked to work and school).
He was taking funds out of my account for the mortgage, spending his money on his partner’s children and elaborate gifts. I didn’t do anything then because as a teen I didn’t know it was wrong, I thought I was contributing to the household.
When applying to college I learned that my college fund had been drained during my parents’ divorce, so I paid through loans and got scholarships.
I bought my first car, paid for textbooks, and worked a full-time job at the health department. I was miserable, and my dad still was taking money for bills. I asked him not to, that I wasn’t living at home so it was not my responsibility, and he told me that he would lose the house if he didn’t pay these bills and my younger siblings were still in the house.
So I kept the account.
Well, my siblings recently moved out, and I closed the account he had access to. I told my siblings to do the same and they did. My dad sold the house and all of our remaining belongings and moved in with his fiancé. He purchased a 5 figure engagement ring, a truck, a Cadillac, and most recently a condo.
They are planning a destination wedding over the summer.
The issue is, he has been telling everyone he pays for our college, our cars, and our phones. Everything. When in reality, we were paying him for years. I have only met his fiancé a few times since he is always at her house, but I had the feeling she had no clue.
Most recently our family had a falling out after I told family that he was complaining about me to the truth, that the reason I cared about his spending was because I was paying for everything and he had taken money for years.
My dad hasn’t spoken to me in weeks, but his fiancé reached out over the week and said how selfish and ugly I was being towards her.
I was furious, she clearly had been lied to since I was just defending myself, so I told her the truth. That my dad had been impulsive, taking my money, and that the engagement ring had actually been the ring he had picked out with his ex before her. The ex he had been seeing simultaneously for 6 months at the beginning of their relationship.
She didn’t respond, but my dad called my cousin furious saying that it wasn’t my place and now his fiancé is questioning the wedding. Part of me feels bad for involving myself in their relationship, but another part of me thinks that he went to her with lies about me and I was clearing my name. AITJ?”
30. AITJ For Telling My Relatives They Have No Right To Tell Me What I Can And Can't Post On My Social Media?
“I (33 f) just got engaged to my partner, now-fiance (33m), of 4 years. My stepsister (35 f)/stepmother’s daughter is on the slower side mentally, but I don’t know exactly what her diagnosis is because her stepmother/my dad’s wife is in denial about it all while cuddling her at the same time.
My step-sister is not dangerous but she can behave awkwardly and inappropriately and just makes people uncomfortable.
She has always had a crush on my fiance and has gotten angry whenever we acted like a normal couple. She cries and throws tantrums for hours upon hours over it, so we have been in low contact with my father as a result.
I called my dad to let him know we got engaged, and he is wanting me to hide it for a while, to not tell anyone at the 4th of July party we were supposed to go to this weekend, to not put it on social media and to come to the party without my ring until my step sister can ‘get used to it’ after my dad ‘gently breaks it to her.’ And he said not to act ‘too close’ with him at the party, mind you we’ve never done inappropriate PDAs we just acted like a normal couple.
I asked him how long he expected us to keep up this charade and he said in a very annoyed tone ‘I don’t know just give us time to break it to her.’ And I told him under these conditions that we would be declining the invitation to the party and all other family events until we’re allowed to act like a normal couple, and I absolutely will not hide it on my social media I will put it up just as any other newly engaged couple and let the chips fall where they may.
And I said if he’s not going to be 100% supportive of my engagement and marriage then he does not need to come to my wedding. That I’m not going to disrespect my fiance by acting ashamed of him in public. And I told him in order for us to resume contact he needs to be publicly supportive of my relationship not just secretly or under the radar.
My stepmother picked up the other line and joined us on the phone she said I’m being selfish, that I know how hard my step sister has it that she’ll never have what I do and I should be understanding and considerate. And my dad basically agreed with her, although it’s none of my business my stepmom clearly wears the pants in the relationship so to speak and my dad will always acquiesce to her.
I told them that since they’re ashamed of us that they will never have to worry about justifying our existence to anyone ever again because we will not be coming around and they will not be invited to my wedding unless they have an attitude makeover, let me act like any other normal couple and our 100% supportive of my upcoming marriage and hung up.
My dad’s side of the family says I’m being insensitive, that my step-sister hasn’t really hard and will never have what I have and I need to be gentle with her. I told them if they want to handle her with kid gloves that’s their prerogative but I’m not going to I’m going to live my life and they have absolutely no right to tell me what I can and can’t put on my social media.
29. AITJ For Telling My Ex-Best Friend's Mom Why Her Son And I Stopped Being Friends?
“I (16 F) was best friends with ‘Leo’ (15 M) for many years. My other best friends (I hang out with just them now) were in different friend groups but I hung out with Leo’s group pretty often too as there was no drama.
Then a girl who Leo’s best friend ‘Rex’ liked named ‘Mia’ joined the group.
Mia would be overly-rude to me for no reason, starting every interaction by calling me ugly or stupid and whatever else. I would tell her ‘Get lost, Mia.’
Leo would pull me aside and say I should ‘quit starting beef’ by responding to Mia’s insults because Rex really likes her and I might drive Mia away. But he would never say anything to Mia when she was insulting me because he ‘didn’t want to start drama.’
Mia and Rex eventually got together, and Rex started insulting and avoiding me as well because he was ‘gonna marry Mia’ and ‘stand by the mother of his future children.’
Leo started to join Mia and Rex in making fun of me with ‘Yeah, she just follows me around, it’s pathetic.’ Or ‘I know, she lost the grass-wacker for that rat nest on her head.’
I stopped talking to them and Leo started to text me saying how ‘Why aren’t you talking to me?’ and ‘I want to stay friends!’ I told him that if he wanted to stay friends then he should have been a good one and stood up for me.
Leo just sent excuses about ‘trying not to make drama!’ so I just ignored him from then on.
I was at the grocery store when I heard someone say ‘Diane, is that you?’ and it was Leo’s mom. Leo’s mom asked how I was doing because ‘Leo is bummed out, he says you’re too busy to talk with him’ and ‘He’s hoping you’d have a chance to talk to him more now that it’s summer!’
I explained to Leo’s mom that there was probably a misunderstanding.
Leo’s mom insisted to know why because she said Leo is sad we aren’t talking as much but he’s also acting suspicious/like he’s hiding something.
So I just explained in as neutral a way as possible how Leo told me not to say anything and didn’t stand up for me when Mia was bullying me, then how Leo started bullying me with Mia and Rex.
Leo’s mom apologized for Leo’s behavior and thanked me for letting her know. We went our separate ways and I forgot about it until I started getting texts from Leo (who I now blocked) saying I was a jerk/snitch and he hopes I’m happy.
Leo’s mom told him he wasn’t allowed to talk to Mia or Rex.
And she’s also making him go to counseling. I feel bad for Leo since he doesn’t have a ton of friends left since most people left after Mia joined. But I’m a bad liar, so Leo’s mom probably wouldn’t believe me anyway if I wasn’t honest. And I didn’t want to get in trouble for ignoring Leo’s mom or lying to her, so I don’t get what Leo expected me to do instead. AITJ?”
28. AITJ For Not Wanting To Compare My Partner's Cooking To My Father's?
“My (25 m) father (deceased) studied to be a chef but life got in the way and had to do something else, but he kept his cooking skills. Every Saturday or Sunday, he prepared us a 5-course meal for the family. We (family) are not that good but we get together at least 2 times a month and cook some of the dishes that he used to prepare for us.
My partner (26 f) also likes to cook and she is very good at it. She has been part of said tradition (as a guest) and knows the many plates my father made for us.
Now, for the past 6 months, she has invited me to eat at her house, and she has made every said plate, I didn’t find it strange at the beginning but after a couple of times, every time that she asked me how it was, no matter how much I tell her that it was very good, she somehow ends up dissatisfied with my answer.
I asked her what was the issue but got no answer.
A few days ago, she made my favorite dish and dessert. After I basically stuff my face, she asked me how it was and I told her it was freaking delicious. She started with how delicious? I answered her with 30 different ways of delicious and she was still not satisfied.
Then she asked the question, better than your dad’s? And I understood why she was not satisfied.
This is what I said to her and what possibly makes me the jerk:
‘Please don’t do that because I will never compare the two of you. Your food is delicious, I mean, I eat half a pot in one sit of how good it was.
But if you want me to tell you that you are better than my old man, I’m sorry but it won’t happen and it’s not because of the level of your cuisine but for the mere fact that you are not my old man. You’re good in your own right. I look forward to eating your food just as much as I did every weekend he cooked for us. He’s gone, please stop competing with a ghost because you’re fighting a losing battle’.
She ended up kicking me out and things have been icy between us.”
27. WIBTJ If I Don't Want My Parents To Adopt Again?
“My sister (mid-teens) and I (early 20s) are getting old enough and financially stable enough to move out soon. Once we move out, my mom has expressed interest in adopting or fostering another child so that she doesn’t have to be an empty nester, and to give herself a second chance at being a good mom.
The problem is, she has treated my sister and me in ways that three different therapists have classified as abusive. My sister told me that her therapist said the only reason she hasn’t called CPS for my sister is because my sister is a teen, and old enough to say that she doesn’t want that to happen.
I believe my sister said not to call because if CPS is called, she might have to live with our bio dad, who is so much worse. In addition, I have been diagnosed with C-PTSD due to the way she and my biological father treated me. I am able to handle things from the trauma from my bio dad, but I still struggle with things left over from my mom.
I’ve tried for years to reconcile with her and kindly explain to her how hurtful her actions are, but at this point, I’ve given up. She says she doesn’t remember most of the things she did, and whenever I try to bring them up with her she usually tells me I’m being mean and ungrateful for all the ways in which she’s provided for this family through my bio dad’s mistreatment.
For the past few months, I’ve been challenging that by saying that I still love her, I’m just trying to improve our relationship by helping us both heal from the past. At first, she seemed semi-receptive, but now she’s started saying that kids these days don’t have any real trauma and that they cut off their parents because of a plot by foreign agents to weaken the American family unit and make America vulnerable to communism.
At that point, I gave up and resigned myself to keeping my mother at a distance where we can have a polite conversation but nothing more.
But my mother has talked a lot about adopting once we’ve moved out, for the reasons I’ve mentioned above. Her husband (not my bio dad) is a lovely person and the only parent that actually parents my sister and me, and I don’t want to deprive him of that.
But I’m very concerned about any child she fosters or adopts, considering the way she’s treated my sister and me since we were very young. If she is lonely she has her husband and friends and pets (whom she treats well), and if she wants to be a better mom my sister and I are always open to working things through. If she tries to adopt I think I may have to step in and warn the adoption agency. AITJ?
(P.S. My sister is in no imminent danger, and she is going to move in with me as soon as she turns 18 and I have my own place.)”
26. AITJ For Not Wanting To Invite My Young Siblings To My Wedding?
“My fiancé (30 m) and I (28 f) are getting married in April of 2023. I am super excited to marry the person I love and we have both spent a lot on this wedding so it can be the happiest day of our lives. Because of how much we have spent on our wedding and because my fiancé and I both don’t really like kids, we have decided to make our wedding child-free.
I was spending the night at my sister’s house and our mother (54 f) came over to visit. My sister is 25 years old but my even younger siblings are 12 m,10 f, and 7 f.
Before I tell you what happens, I will say that my little siblings are pretty spoiled by my mother and they have ruined my cousin’s graduation party by screaming and demanding that they open her gifts because it wasn’t fair they didn’t get gifts.
I was discussing my wedding with my sister when I brought up the fact that it was going to be child-free. My mother laughs at that and said that she supports my decision because she cannot stand other people’s children ruining the wedding. I told my mom that I would help her find childcare for the wedding.
She then got serious and asked me what I meant and I told her that I would help her find childcare for my younger siblings during the wedding.
My mother began to freak out at me, yelling about how I needed to invite my siblings to the wedding and that this was a family event. I quoted her on what she said about other kids being annoying during the wedding and she snapped back at me saying that it was different because it was her children and my siblings and how could I be so cruel to them? My sister tried to calm her down but my mom freaked out even more saying she was going to disown me if I didn’t invite the rest of my siblings to the wedding. She then stormed out of the house and she hasn’t spoken to me for five days.
My sister says while it is my wedding, I should invite them just so she doesn’t have a meltdown.
25. AITJ For Taking My Savings Account Out Of My Mom's Control?
“When I was around 8, my mom opened a savings account for me so I could start saving. Birthday money, holiday money, all the like. But I never actually had access to it. I would give money to my mom and she put it in my savings. When I asked her to take out a couple of bucks for anything it was always no.
I had no idea what the balance of that account was for most of the time that it existed.
As I got older, things got tense with my mom. She’d find any reason to get angry and when I showed any unhappiness, I was ‘ungrateful’ and would throw everything she ever spent money on in my face.
Haircuts, clothes, glasses, and school supplies were tools to use against me later. She’d often cut corners and lie to people to save a couple of bucks.
Once I started college, I freelanced to buy groceries. She cosigned some loans. I trusted she’d manage them so I didn’t think about it til my last year of college.
I looked into it since I need to be ready for it. I noticed discrepancies in my refund amounts vs the aid I got. During the 2020-2021 school year, there were 18,000 in loan refunds that I never knew existed. This term I had about 4500 in refunds that hadn’t been dispersed yet.
I talked to my mom over winter break about refunds and that I’d like to keep some of the funds since it would be really nice to have after college, she said ok.
I asked her for an update on the refunds and she ignored my texts or told me she ‘forgot’ to check (she’s extremely financially savvy and wouldn’t forget that). After days of dodging my questions, she said she wasn’t gonna give me the refund because she needed to reimburse herself for expenses this year. I had a discussion with her and got her from no to maybe.
I thought it was fine til last week, I checked the website and saw it was disbursed. I asked about it again. She avoided answering me and ignored my texts for days until she said she changed her mind and was keeping it to herself. I wasn’t asking her for it just because I wanted to use it for groceries because I was (still am) completely broke and couldn’t afford those things.
So I told her that I needed it for that, and she proceeded to tell me that she has spent over 4500 on my school supplies this year and she needed it to reimburse herself to start saving up for retirement.
I’ve been worried about my savings, so a few months ago I opened a checking account with the bank that held my savings so I could keep an eye on it.
She had also mentioned she was suspicious of me having another bank account, so I immediately went into the app and transferred everything out so she no longer has control over it. I didn’t even respond to her text. She texted me an hour later telling me I crossed a line and she can’t believe I would do something like that, I have no respect, etc etc. I closed the savings account on Friday. She hasn’t spoken to me since. AITJ?”
24. AITJ For Telling Our Manager The New Employee Wouldn't Be A Good Fit In The Office?
“(I live in Asia and I work in an office with other ex-pats and locals) I walk into the office one morning to see this woman (who we’ll call, Tina) sitting at my desk, I go up to her and introduce myself, I smiled and was nice, we spoke for about two minutes until I told her that she’s actually sitting at my desk, she then asks me if it’s okay that she sits here because she likes the view from the window, at this point I laughed because I thought she was joking, but then I said no, she’ll have to sit on the couch at reception until they tell her where she’s going to be, she gets annoyed but does it anyway.
It’s a small office and I consider everyone working here to be my friend, we have a good working dynamic and there’s no office politics (this doesn’t include management). I have a friend that works here (we’ll call him Bob), now Bob is one of those people who are annoyingly friendly and he’s genuine, he’s one of those people that could make friends with a wall.
Bob comes over and talks about how ‘strange’ Tina is, apparently she already has demands on her first day and she feels as if she’s here to change the company for the better. If you can manage to annoy Bob, then you’re the issue.
It’s tradition to take the new person out for drinks especially if they’re an expat because we know how it feels to be so far away from everyone and everything you’re familiar with, but we try to make all new employees feel comfortable regardless if you’re expat or local.
We go to the bar after work and then we all see how entitled Tina is, she expects The guys to buy her drinks and she’s rude to the bartender and the bartender is our friend. During the night Tina finds out that I’m gay because Bob asks me where my partner is. She comes and sits next to me and asks me if I’m really gay, I said yes, then she proceeds to tell me that I don’t act and look gay’ and then tells me how she has so many gay best friends back in New York and she can’t wait for her and me to go shopping and get our nails done, I then tell her that I don’t like shopping or getting my nails done.
(What happens next is the most messed up thing) Tina then stood up, squat a little then proceeds to basically dry hump my knee, in the bar in front of my friends, asking me if I like it and I’m sure I’m gay, one of my female friends pull her back and asks what she’s doing, Tina then says she’s just joking around.
At this point, it’s obvious that nobody likes her but for some reason, she didn’t seem to pick up on that fact, she keeps acting like she’s the universe’s gift to humanity…
The next day I went into the office, spoke to my regional manager (RM), and told her that Tina wouldn’t be a good fit and that nobody in the office likes her (The regional manager and I are friends). I asked the RM to talk to the other employees and find out what they think before making a decision to keep Tina here full-time.
Before lunch, Tina was let go.
Now I feel kinda bad, AITJ?”
23. AITJ For Telling My Mom She's A Worthless Human Being?
“My mom (F 36) just got a call from my brother’s (M 7) friend’s mom. She was calling to ask if it was okay if she sent my brother home with a couple of pairs of shoes because she noticed that it had a few holes. My mom told her yes and said thank you.
After she hung up, she asked me if I (F 18) had seen what my brother was wearing before he left.
I told her I had and described his outfit. She asked me why I didn’t make him change his shoes. I told her that he doesn’t have other shoes. She flipped out and told me that he does, she just bought him some on his birthday (his birthday is in June. He got new shoes almost a year ago).
I explained this to her and told her that they don’t really fit him anymore and he needed new ones so, this is a good thing, and asked why she was mad at me.
She said because it’s embarrassing and if I knew he had holes in his shoes I should have made him wear his other ones or stay home.
I told her that I shouldn’t have to make him wear small shoes or stay home and that she should just go buy him a pair of shoes. She flipped out saying how she doesn’t have the budget for that (she has money for soda and vodka tho?) and that I ‘should have been on top of it.’ and be helping more with my siblings.
This is what made me lose it because I pay for groceries for us, pay the power bill, and take care of my siblings (F 14, M 7, M 3) because if I don’t, she won’t, while she sits in her room and ‘relaxes’. I told her that I was the one raising her kids and that maybe her son would have nice shoes if she didn’t sniff all her money away.
She told me to mind my business and that regardless, an older sibling is supposed to be like a second parent so, I should have made sure he looked right before he left the house.
I told her that I shouldn’t have to be responsible for things like that. Then, I told her she was a worthless human being and a sorry excuse of a mother.
I told her that we would have been much better off without her and that I hate her for what she’s done to me. She told me to get out. She told me that if I didn’t she was going to call the police and that she wasn’t going to have someone who doesn’t respect her in her house.
As I was packing my bag, my sister came into my room and called me a jerk. She said that my mother was in the living room crying and is ‘devastated’ that I talked to her that way. I told my sister that I am LITERALLY the one who takes care of them and I’ve sacrificed my entire life to do so since their egg donor won’t.
She called me miserable and told me that I should ‘have respect for the person who gave birth to me.’, that was my job as an older sister and that she hated me.
I’m sitting at the park now. I’ve texted my three friends to see if I can stay with any of them and just waiting to hear something back. I’m tired and I’m hungry but, at least it’s nice out here. And I’m mad, to be honest. Both my mom and my sister are continuing to send me trashy messages. Even my grandma called me to yell at me about the ‘disrespect.’ And how ‘ungrateful’ and ‘rude’ I was.”
22. AITJ For Telling A Customer We Don't Offer Curbside Pick-Up?
“I (24 f) am in college, getting ready to take my exams and graduate soon. To pay for some of my living expenses I work part-time at a locally owned restaurant. Our restaurant does not offer curbside pickup, the owner has repeatedly said it’s up to whoever working if they want to bring it out or not.
In order to offer curbside pickup the owner would have to provide us with raincoats, which he doesn’t care to do. Sometimes to be nice though, myself or some other employees might bring an order to someone’s car.
This older woman in her 60s is disabled and ordered from here last month. I brought her order out to her car that day, and when she mentioned how happy she was that we were willing to bring it to her car, since she’s disabled and most places in town won’t do curbside, I made sure to tell her that we aren’t required and next time whoever’s working might not bring it out, but that I was glad to do it that day.
Since then she’s ordered from us twice, one other time a coworker brought it out, and then another time I brought it out. Well, she ordered from us again last night. She’s a nice enough lady but she never tips, which I would overlook except she’s ordering 40$ single-person meals. In my opinion, if you can afford to frequently splurge on nice dinners for yourself you can afford a dollar or two to whoever is going the extra mile to make your life easier.
Last night it was raining and cold out, and I was the only person working the front. When she called to say she was there for her order, I politely let her know that since it was raining I wouldn’t be going out. She kind of yelled at me, saying that she was disabled how is she supposed to come get it? I told her that we do not offer curbside pick-up and that she was previously made aware of it.
She asked to speak to a manager, who refused to give her a refund. He explained to her that the food was already made and that we do not offer curbside and she knew that. One of the kitchen guys ended up eating her lobster.
When I told my husband about my day he said should have helped the old lady, and that I was a jerk for not doing so.
I didn’t want to work out the rest of my shift in soaked cold clothes for someone that can’t even be bothered to tip. Based on her new Range Rover and frequent lobster I assume she could afford to tip at least something.
AITJ for not bringing a disabled woman’s food to her car because she doesn’t tip?”
21. AIJT For Telling My Sister She Should Make Some Effort To Get Better?
“My (30 M) 4 months pregnant sister (34 F), her 2-year-old son, and parents were visiting me for a week.
For the past 4-5 years my sister has been very irritable. Would have anger episodes every few days, and eventually when she will calm down and say that taking care of her family is taxing, and thus she is not in the right state of mind.
My parents have just recently accepted mental health issues are real, for most conflicts, I’d try to take my sister’s side and tell my parents to be lenient.
These arguments are frequent and she would escalate things to extreme for even the tiniest things. This incident is from a couple of days before their flight back home
We were supposed to go to the zoo because my nephew enjoys it.
I told my mom that we are getting late, to which my sister reacted with a condescending tone about how I don’t understand how much work it takes to get ready with a toddler. I reacted with something along the lines of ‘I just said we are getting late, you don’t need to be rude’.
She said something about how I don’t know how to talk to people and how I am rude and should stay quiet.
I am not doing them a favor by taking them to the zoo. I angrily replied, fine don’t go with me I will get a driver to drive all of you, I won’t have to take leave from work that way.
She asked me to shut up. I shut up, got my laptop, and started working. 5 minutes later she said, ‘I and my son won’t go, you can go without us’.
I said, ‘Fine, we will cancel’ and got back to work.
A little later, she says I will not stay in this house anymore, I will go get a hotel. I calmly said I will book one for you, then got back to working.
A little later she said, me and my son will leave for their city tonight.
I told her I will book the flight for you.
A little later she packs her bags and starts to leave. I don’t react. She steps outside the door, I just walk up to the door and close it.
Then she starts banging at the door and starts shouting at my parents that they brought her there to be insulted and they will not see their grandson henceforth.
My parents ask her to behave and how this has been her behavior for the past few years.
She starts crying and shouting at my parents about how she is pregnant and nobody cares about her etc. (Everybody has been tiptoeing around her for the past 4-5 years to ensure she doesn’t get upset, even before she got pregnant first.)
At this point, I tell her that if this is the problem from the past 5 years she should seek help.
People around her have been understanding, but she needs to make efforts to get better and not use mental health as a shield to justify her behavior for years. (My tone was not friendly. I have tried to explain this to her calmly in the past but she refuses to seek therapy or accept there is a problem with her behavior)
In the past, I have apologized to her to calm her down.
AITJ for not giving in to her tantrums knowing that it will instigate her more?”
20. AITJ For Telling My Partner I Won't Be Able To Supervise His Kids?
“I (F 33) work from home and my partner (M 36) works out of the home daily, Monday – Friday. We live together in my house. He has two kids (M 14 and F 5) that until now were coming over for evenings two nights a week and every other weekend. He recently had his custody agreement updated with his ex-wife due to her moving and now has the children the entire summer and every other weekend.
I was concerned going into this about how this was going to work out but his mother is retiring at the end of the year and will likely do a lot of the childcare after that point and honestly I didn’t think things would change until after that point.
Until now, I have not cared for the children by myself for more than about 30 minutes.
I made it clear to him that I am uncomfortable doing so; I have extremely limited experience with children and have never taken care of them before. It’s not that I do nothing with them or have a bad relationship; I just like for him to be around too because the idea of being fully responsible for them not hurting themselves is still very concerning for me.
Additionally, I was concerned about him taking advantage of me and dropping the children in my care and then going off to do whatever he wanted to do, which he does to his mother (although she doesn’t mind, as far as I know).
So, the new agreement goes into place and he automatically assumes the children will be here at the house with me all day while he goes to work during the summer (including the rest of this summer, starting immediately).
I told him I am not comfortable with this, specifically in regards to the 5-year-old. The 14-year-old I think would be fine. He told me the 5-year-old is ‘self-sufficient’ and ‘you don’t have to do anything,’ which is completely not true. She needs help getting food and other necessities, as any 5-year-old would. Her older brother is a good kid for the most part but is not very observant and is not someone I would say should be in full charge of the five-year-old.
My job can be very demanding and although I do take breaks every couple of hours, I am usually busy/on calls/etc the majority of the day. I told him I didn’t want to do this and that I wouldn’t be able to provide proper supervision and he got extremely angry with me saying ‘I just need a little help, you don’t even have to do anything!’ so I, as a person who does not handle confrontation well, backed down and said that I would do it. Am I the jerk for not wanting to provide childcare?”
19. AITJ For Refusing To Give My Wife My Daughter's University Money?
“So I (42) was married to my ex Ana for fifteen years and we compromised a lot on each other and by the end of it, we were going to be headed to divorce either way. What pushed it to end before it otherwise would have been the fact that I got closer to my ex’s best friend Emily because we had been friends since we were kids.
So Emily and I wound up confiding in each other and when I found myself wanting to talk to her more and tell her more I realized I was on the precipice of having an emotional affair or maybe in one. The point is I did something terrible so I confessed to Ana what was going on.
We wound up having an amicable divorce for the sake of our daughters. My ex didn’t want them to not see me anymore so she made a promise not to tell them about what I did and we had split custody and things were good. My girls didn’t like the divorce but we did family therapy.
It was about a year after that Emily reached out and we started going out a few months after that. When we felt ready we told my daughters and they went ballistic. They blamed Emily for ruining our home and mostly stopped visiting us. Ana also yelled at me over the phone for admitting to what happened since I’d effectively denied my girls me.
Since then, my contact with the girls has been low. I ask them to cover over, they say no. I send a happy birthday to them, they send it to me. I meet with them for special occasions and that’s it. They’ve only seen their new baby sister a few times. It hurts Emily a lot because they used to be very close.
But I know it’s all my fault even if the girls think it’s Emily.
And my eldest is about to go to university and sent me a very happy FaceTime telling me that she got into her dream university. She asked me to help her move into her dorm. When I asked about paying her tuition she got quiet and said she’d arranged to pay for it and to not worry since she wasn’t taking out loans.
I imagine her sister will probably do the same thing. Regardless when I asked if I can drive out to see her at the university once a week (it’s a few towns over) she happily said yes so I have a chance at fixing things.
When I told Emily she was excited for me but asked what I was going to do about the money and we had an argument about it after she said we should use it for renovations.
I pointed out that it’s a lot of money for both of them. Maybe they’ll only take it out of my will when I die, but it’s their money, promised to them. Just because I messed up and they punished me doesn’t mean I get to punish them in turn. Emily got upset with my line of reasoning and called me a jerk for not putting our future first.”
18. AITJ Being Mad At My Sister For Shaming My Significant Other For Using Tampons?
“I (M 19) come from a very traditional family. In my family, men are meant to provide and protect, while women are meant to nurture children. There is absolutely no discussion of ‘shameful’ subjects. I’ve, thankfully, grown out of this mindset and I don’t speak with my family or associate with most of my family, especially my sister (F 30), ‘Mercy.’ The only exception to this is my dad, who is rather level-headed compared to the rest of my family.
My dad invited my significant other (F 18), ‘Grace,’ and me for his informal birthday lunch. I was a bit hesitant to attend with Grace, but my dad assured me that everyone would be respectful.
I’m assuming that sometime during the lunch Grace asked Mercy for a tampon because Mercy, while we are eating, tells everyone that Grace ‘shamefully asked her for a tampon in private.’ This made me extremely uncomfortable and the lunch turns awkward but Mercy keeps going.
She tells me that I ‘brought home a harlot’ (I’m assuming this has to do with the whole belief that tampons make you ‘unclean and impure’ unlike pads) and that she was a ‘grossly unprepared woman.’
It was dead silent after Mercy finished speaking. Everyone was glaring at Grace, and she was obviously very embarrassed and had tears in her eyes.
She got up, thanked my dad for the invitation, and went to wait in the car. I was just about to follow her, but Mercy scoffed and made a comment about how sensitive Grace must be and how she can’t handle ‘constructive criticism’ about her ‘lifestyle habits.’
I’m not sure what came over me, but I was very angry at this point.
I thanked my dad for the invite and told Mercy that she was gross for bringing up Grace’s period at the dining table when she could have shut up and not acted immaturely. Then I left and took Grace home.
Even though I only said this to Mercy, I’m sure everyone heard me because afterward, I got a few texts saying, ‘If your SO was more prepared, then this wouldn’t happen.’ etc.
Days after the dinner, Mercy is still very annoyed with me and my dad thinks I shouldn’t have said anything and that Grace and I ‘spoiled’ the day for everyone.
I usually wouldn’t care, but I do feel responsible for Mercy’s behavior towards Grace after the dinner. I also feel bad for ruining my dad’s birthday.
EDIT: I’m not mad at Mercy for bringing up periods. I was mad that she brought up my SO’s period SPECIFICALLY and then talked about it. That’s all.”
17. AITJ For Getting A Better Hotel Room For MySelf?
“I (40 F) and my husband Sam (43 M) have 3 kids. After the birth of my youngest son, Sam and I almost never went on a romantic trip alone, as it was very difficult to reconcile for several reasons.
When my youngest son turned 18 and moved because of college, I was very excited, because we always agreed to go to France to stay in a wonderful hotel and a fancy room, because it was my dream and with 3 children, I couldn’t do it totally.
My husband then asked to make a surprise, he would run after everything (booking restaurants, booking a hotel, plane ticket), but I told him which hotel I wanted to stay and the type of room, as it was always my dream trip with him.
We have an excellent financial condition, so we could easily pay for it.
We arrived at the hotel, he spoke to the receptionist and we went to the room.
I was in shock when I found my children and mother waiting for us. My excitement went downhill from there and honestly, I couldn’t hide it, because it wasn’t what I imagined it to be and it got worse when he said that because there were too many people to pay, he got cheaper rooms and that our son would sleep with us because it was cheaper.
I tried to keep up appearances, but I gave my husband that look and when I could, I went to the receptionist and asked for a better room for me (I paid with my service bonus which is something my husband and I don’t share – agreed between us).
My husband was super annoyed, saying that this was a rude thing to do and that he wanted to have family time but couldn’t afford something more expensive.
In addition to having reacted badly to his surprise. It would be everyone’s first time and he wanted to give this moment for the first time at the same time to everyone. He didn’t even want to go to my room.
I loved visiting all the places, but having the presence of 5 more people… It was extremely discouraging, I love my children, my mother, and my mother-in-law, but it was my dream to have a romantic trip for two.
It is worth saying, every year we travel to another country (we have never been to France).
The trip was ok, my husband and I were obviously not doing very well. When we got home, he said my attitude of paying for a more expensive suite was childish (And make everyone uncomfortable) and that my discouragement spoiled our trip.
Extra: When I said I wanted to go to France, I said I wanted a romantic trip only for 2.
As I understand the reason, he said he did it because it would be our first family trip after 2 years without traveling and that we could do this trip now and do one in a few months just the two of us.”
16. AITJ For My Partner's Loss Because He Stole My Design?
“I (32 f) have been with Chuck (34 m) for 4 years now. I had just come home from finishing my MSc in mechanical engineering when we met and was working at my stepdad’s shop. Chuck was picking up his car when we met. I guess he assumed I was a receptionist, and I never corrected him, but somehow it turned out he thought that until he decided to surprise me at work when I was elbow-deep in an engine just over a year ago.
We ended up arguing about me ‘lying’ about my degree (I once mentioned I was glad I was using some of what I learned in my degree, and he assumed I’d done office management?) and misleading him about what I did (never said I was a receptionist. I prefer to get my hands dirty, take things apart and put things together.) Eventually, we talked things out and were able to laugh about the misunderstanding.
Here’s the thing about Chuck. He is obsessed with BattleBots. He loves watching the robots pulverize each other, and he’s gotten me hooked on it, too. He used to talk about how he wanted to be on the show and how he’d do well controlling the bot, and he could totally win the whole thing with a good enough bot.
A month later, I got sick and we were stuck at home. We ended up marathoning a couple of seasons of BattleBots. At one point he asked me how I would design a bot for a competition like this. At first, I said I wasn’t sure, but later I started sketching out ‘Baby Bot’, with blades along two sides, scoops along the others, and a double shell, pneumatic armor system.
The most work I put into the design, though, was for the motor system. For it to do well, it needed to be fast and agile. I did all the theoretical work of how a bot could be designed to fit within the 250lb weight limit, but be fast/agile, and have weapons and armor that would be effective against most of the bots I’d seen.
In the end, my design would require a specific alloy for the armor, exact measurements throughout, a specific motor/steering system, and also the bot’s name engraved into both of the scoops, about 1/4″ deep. Then we were in the clear and I went back to work. I came home and the designs were gone, but didn’t think anything of it.
A week ago, Chuck came storming into the house, mad that I’d sabotaged him. Turns out, he used my designs to build a bot with his buddies. It stopped working in the first round because the outer armor crashed onto the inner armor after the first hit, followed by the scoops buckling when rammed. I was confused by the scoops buckling, but apparently ”Baby Bot’ is a dumb name’, so they changed it to ‘Botinator 8000’, and his one friend didn’t think 1/4″ was deep enough, so they engraved it 1″ deep, not realizing that would compromise the integrity.
He says I should pay him and his buddies at least the 2nd place prize money because they ‘totally would have gotten at least that much if you hadn’t given me such crappy designs in the first place’.”
15. AITJ For Being Upset That My Family Treats My Sister Better Than Me?
“I (16 F) have two younger sisters (12 F and 14 F).
When I was young, ever since I was a baby, I was known as the ‘chubby sibling’. I didn’t eat unhealthily or was particularly lazy, I just ate bigger portions than a typical child. I was always called ‘big-boned’, and ‘strong’, and even implied that I was ‘manly’.
For an 8-year-old girl, this was incredibly hurtful, especially since my two younger siblings were both very thin and the ideal image of a girl.
My sisters and I all loved gymnastics, liking cartwheels and flipping around the house. They were both very light and could do it with ease, however, I was always having difficulties. I eventually got told to stop, because I wasn’t thin enough like my siblings and even got told that every time I landed, the house would shake.
Basically, my size was just a joke, it made me who I was. I was always compared, and teased for not looking as cute and pretty in dresses as my sisters and even earned the nickname ‘little fatty’. my sisters would join in too, laughing at the size of my clothing, comparing how big I was to them.
Keep in mind I was still on the lower end of a healthy BMI (I know it’s not accurate but just for comparison), but because they were so thin, I was viewed as large.
Now, I am underweight. I developed a gastrointestinal issue and unintentionally lost a lot of weight u healthily. However, one of my sisters (let’s call her Mia) gained weight, almost in the overweight BMI category.
I have never commented on her weight, simply because I know how much it hurts. However, my family has strictly ordered everyone not to utter a word about it, and even accidentally touching her would be a direct insult to her.
I’m happy that everyone’s being considerate, however during one particular argument, I brought up how unfair it was that I was treated one way and she is being treated in another.
My parents simply avoid the topic, saying that ‘I’m thin and would never understand’. I was a chubby child, I knew EXACTLY how it felt. I remember how it sucked being the biggest, how it felt like my existence was just a joke. And now they’re denying everything.
I persisted and argued that it was not fair how I was the joke of the family and she was treated like royalty.
No one can comment on her appearance, if I look at her too long, it’s an insult to her weight, if I buy her a shirt as a gift and it’s not the right size, I’m purposefully making fun of her, even if I offer her some of my food, I’m trying to laugh in her face for not being able to have any.
Even my other sister (who is still thin) treats Mia nicely. This is SO unfair. I got called ‘insensitive’ and ‘selfish’ for only thinking of myself.
I’m so frustrated that I could cry. It’s not fair. It’s so so so unfair. Why was I made fun of (without an apology to this day) yet she isn’t? Mia even gets mad at me when I have nothing, despite her actually mocking me before.
Am I the jerk?”
14. AITJ For Starting A Fight With My Husband After He Told Me To "Just Smile"?
“I (30 F) have been married to ‘Alex’ (32 M) for a little over 4 years, but we’ve been together for around 8. Alex is one of those people who is always smiling, or at the very least neutral-faced, he doesn’t really frown or show anger often – because he sees it as an invitation for people to mock or aggravate you more.
He never pushed this onto me when we were going out, only occasionally making a small joke about how I should ‘smile because you’re never dressed without one’ (don’t know where he got that, Annie I guess?). Not to make out that he’s one of those freaks that runs around looking mad or Cheshire like I said before, he just doesn’t show negativity on his face ever – the only time I’ve seen his face drop was when his mother died a few years back.
Even at home he just looks contented at most.
It’s charming, really, though sometimes I worry about how much might be brewing under the surface. When we got married, he started pushing me to smile more than he had when we were going out, which is probably the time to say that I’m pretty dead-faced. I don’t show much emotion, not purposefully or anything, my resting face is just kinda dull.
I don’t enjoy being told to smile, or look happy, never have even when I was a kid – but he didn’t say anything about it enough for me to ever have a giant issue with it.
Recently I got some pretty bad personal news from my family, not anything I want to directly tell the Internet, but it was extremely distressing for me.
Alex comforted me for a while, before saying ‘Just smile’, I can’t even remember the exact sentence, just that it tipped me off and I ended up blowing up at him. We didn’t really argue, it was short and bitter and then we both just went into different rooms for the night.
We’ve been pretty tense since, not like silent treatment or anything – but there’s just kind of lingering in the air.
I’ve asked my closest friend her opinion, and she says that I should’ve just let it be as he was trying to cheer me up – but at the same time I don’t think telling someone in obvious distress to ‘just smile’ is appropriate anywhere. But I’m not sure if it’s just my lingering anger/sadness mixed with the feelings I already had about him trying to make me smile that’s making this such a big deal for me.
13. AITJ For Telling My Mom I'll Never Forgive Her?
“My (20 F) sister (17 F) is pretty much the more favored sibling. I have two younger siblings besides her (8 M and 12 F) and Pacific Islander parents. Growing up, I have always been compared to my sister through studies, sports, etc but I knew I was smart and athletic enough so their remarks never bothered me.
I also have a great relationship with my sister so there’s nothing wrong there.
However, my sister recently graduated from high school and received a scholarship to go to a University here. As happy as I am for my sister, I currently go to a community college. For some background info, I received a lot of scholarships from different universities for sports and academics.
I even got a scholarship from the same school my sister is going to. I was so happy because I always wanted to move out after high school due to a somewhat toxic household. This was my plan for many years but when I had a real chance of leaving because of a good scholarship, my parents told me no.
They guilt-tripped me into staying to help with the bills and take care of my other siblings. Of course, I was furious, I cried in my room many nights but I knew I had to get over myself. So I got a job and took online courses at a community college.
One night my mom brought up my sister’s scholarship.
She was saying how proud she was and that she wanted my sis to go to that uni, etc. I was obviously annoyed and my mom noticed. Then she said, ‘Oh and you can go attend campus now instead of online’. I sarcastically said, ‘Gee, thanks Mom’ and laughed until my mom said, ‘Wow, you’re still not over it?’ I didn’t know what she meant so she continued, ‘You know, with us not letting you go to the school you wanted.
Jeez, when are you gonna let that go?’, my mom said laughing.
I couldn’t believe she said that. She said it like it was nothing. Like I didn’t sacrifice anything. I was angry so I finally asked, ‘So why does (sister) get to go to Uni but not me?’. My mom was taken aback but replied with, ‘Because she has a scholarship’.
I said ‘I had scholarships too’. She tried to say that it was different and defended herself until I yelled out ‘Just admit you like (sister) more!’. My mom was silent but then tried to deny it. I stopped her, saying, ‘Don’t even bother denying it. I’ve known it my whole life. Why do you think I’ve been trying to escape this house? It’s because of you and Dad and I’ll never forgive you for that’.
My mom was silent before anything else happened, I just went to my room.
Here’s why I think I’m a jerk. My sister told me the next day that my mom was crying that night and that I should go and apologize. I really hate making my mom cry but they also don’t understand my feelings. I know it’s not a big issue but I made huge sacrifices for them and they don’t even care. So AITJ?”
12. AITJ For Telling My Family I Won't Be Having People In My Daughter's Life Who Disrespect Her Father?
“I (31 F) and Liam (Husband – 31 M) have been together for 10 years, married for 4 – we got together in University, and honestly he’s the source of 99% of my good memories from the time. We’d travel a lot (usually at my insistence, traveling mainly meaning interesting places within the country) and just had a good time overall.
We were friends first, but only for a few months before we decided we liked each other.
Issue? My parents and Molly (Sister – 27 F) have always thought of him as an untrustworthy guy, arguing that since we were friends first he was ‘more likely to have an affair’ and that his enjoyment of travel meant he was less committed to the relationship (I told them I was the one who suggested it most of the time, it didn’t change their opinion).
It got to the point that he was not invited to my family holidays, therefore meaning I didn’t go either.
I tried not to blame Molly too much, since she was still living with my parents at the time, but she hasn’t changed in the 10 years we’ve been together. In fact, Molly didn’t come to my wedding at all – my parents did, but they didn’t seem all that happy either, with my mum even asking if I was ‘sure about this’ right before the ceremony.
Recently I found out I’m pregnant, I told Liam straight away, but we decided to wait until we got the gender before we told our families. It’s a girl. His family was excited, as expected, but my family was not. Though I had slightly hoped that the idea of a grandchild would soften them up.
This is getting lengthy so to cut to the chase, they’ve been talking about Liam even worse now, often under the impression that my daughter will have a terrible life with a ‘father like him’ or that ‘he couldn’t be trusted not to ruin her’ – not the exact words, but all with similar meaning.
I really don’t know why they think of him like this, they don’t have any problems with my brother-in-law.
I got tired of it on Monday and told them frankly that if they couldn’t give Liam a little bit of respect, their granddaughter’s father a little respect, then they didn’t have to be a part of her life.
That I wouldn’t have people in her life that would be saying horrible things about her dad (probably in front of her).
They’ve all been saying I’m overreacting, that they’re just giving their opinion and it wasn’t right that I wasn’t considering their words. Molly even sent a video of her crying about ‘being scared of not seeing her niece’. I don’t want to cut them off, but I’m so tired of this, but I’m debating if I’m the jerk for suggesting I would cut them out, especially after the video.
11. AITJ For Telling My Mother I Won't Be Helping Her At All Anymore?
“My mother suffers from a disability and as such is permanently bedridden. I’m the only person who lives with her in the family house. She has support workers who come by throughout the day to help with hygiene and showering, however, I help with absolutely everything else: cooking, paying bills, errands, organizing home maintenance, checking emails, making her comfortable in bed, shopping, managing investments, etc.
I do not get paid by the government to be her carer, nor does she pay me or in any other real way show her appreciation. She feels entitled to my help, and it’s really a thankless job.
As part of managing her finances, I logged into her online banking to notice almost $100k was missing from her savings account.
On further inspection, the funds were sent to my sister. I asked my sister about it, and she told me our mother gifted it to her to buy a highly specced Tesla.
I was livid by this. Mother has always treated sister as the favorite. Apart from this gift, she has probably given her over $100k in other things over the past few years which I never got.
For example, I had to pay for my first car, whereas she got a brand-new one paid for. When I moved to college, I had to pay for it myself whereas my mother, who is wealthy, paid for her to have a premium unit.
I burst into my mother’s room going on about how I’m sick of the favoritism, how unfair it is because children should be treated equally, and how she has never known appreciation for the sacrifices I made to be her de facto carer (for example, I can’t leave the house overnight which rules out all holidays for example.
It’s been like this for five years since my father died). Initially, I asked if she had any intention of giving me $100k to make up for it and she said no.
During our 30-minute argument, she never directly answered how it was fair, instead asking questions like ‘Do you feel like you’ve missed out?’, among other questions.
It reached boiling point, and she ultimately said ‘It’s my money and I’ll spend it on whatever I want’. I said ‘Fine, I won’t be helping you AT ALL anymore’.
I have now ignored all of my mother’s texts for help over the past two weeks. I’ve heard from my sister she’s now looking at full-time residential care due to my lack of assistance which people in my country do as a very last resort as the residents are neglected, fed poorly and there’s no sense of it being your home.
10. AITJ For Secretly Giving Our Dog To My Friend?
“I (19 F) am living in a no-pet policy dorm room, I no longer live with my parents, but we have a family dog who stayed with them. He’s 7 years old, but he doesn’t have any sort of chip or legal documents. His name is Buster.
Basically here’s the situation, I always walked Buster, he was my responsibility, I’d feed him, walk him, water him, and play with him, he was always more like my dog than theirs, but he was considered the ‘family’ dog.
I was very upset to leave him, but it wasn’t really a choice since private accommodation wasn’t really an option for me, and I trusted that my parents would take care of him.
I come home over summer vacation, and he’s so horribly off, he’s pacing, whimpering, crying, constantly at the door. It only stopped when I started taking him out for walks again, this is unusual for him, he’s a very hyperactive and happy dog.
I also noticed that his bowl didn’t have any food in it until I did it myself, which made me confront my parents since that was supposed to be THEIR job. They said they were feeding him and walking him, but I wasn’t entirely sure if I believed them, so I asked my four-year-old sister ‘How much is Buster getting let out to play’.
Her answer? Just to paraphrase the childhood babble, not a whole lot. He was getting walked once a day if that, and his feeding wasn’t having a specific schedule, and they weren’t hydrating his food. Extra info, Buster is an English Springer Spaniel, he needs way more than one walk a day, especially at his age.
This really made me mad, and I didn’t want to leave him with them again when I left, so I reached out to my friend who recently lost her dog (who I trust dearly) and asked if she’d be willing to take him, and everything I know about how he was being treated.
She agreed, and I secretly took him to give him to her.
I feel like a jerk for doing it, I feel horrible for doing it, but I can’t put my own emotions over his needs. My parents have been calling me a jerk, and saying I had no right to do that, and my sister has been crying. They haven’t made any action to take him back, which is relieving, but also tells me a lot about how much they really care.
They won’t speak to me without arguing now, and my sister is genuinely upset, so I don’t know. AITJ?
Edit: My parents are known liars, they’ve lied to my grandparents many times and made me keep up their lies, which is why I doubted what they were telling me since I can kind of catch on to when they aren’t telling the full truth.”
9. AITJ For Telling A Mom To Pay Closer Attention To Her Son With Special Needs?
“I (35 f) am on vacation with my kids (6 f and 4 m) in another part of the country, and we have been enjoying a large outdoor public swimming pool close to where we’re staying. Today there was a boy there (9ish?) with his mom, and they were in the pool the entire time we were there.
We went in the pool a few times in between playing in the playground, and I noticed that when we were in there he kept nudging my kids out of his way, raising his voice at them while being very close to their faces, and sometimes throwing their toys off the side of the pool back into the water.
I figured he was likely on the spectrum based on some of his behaviors, and was encouraging my kids to be patient and share the space appropriately.
None of this was a huge deal, but as we were trying to leave the pool for the day, he kept grabbing their diving toys and throwing them back in the water, where they would sink to the bottom and need to be retrieved.
His mom was in the pool about 8 feet away and not interjecting, although she could see my daughter getting frustrated. As he went to do it for the fourth time I definitely made an exasperated noise and politely asked him to stop throwing the toys in, as we were trying to leave.
At this point, the mom angrily told me he was autistic, and told me she didn’t appreciate me speaking to him as that was her job.
I bluntly told her that she should be paying better attention then, as he was making it difficult for us to leave and she had watched and done nothing until I spoke to him about it. She again told me it wasn’t my job and I snapped back that she needed to do her job better then.
While it was only a 30-secon interaction, I keep replaying it and wondering if I could have handled it more delicately. If I run into them again at the pool, I’m not sure if I should be apologizing, or simply continue being there like nothing happened.”
8. AITJ For Name-Calling My Brother?
“My brother and I are not very close. I can tolerate him if need be, but I think he struggles in many social situations. He can’t seem to read basic social cues and makes many inappropriate comments and jokes. He has strong opinions about everything, jumps to unreasonable conclusions, and never lets things go.
My wife and his wife have been friends for years.
My wife doesn’t like my brother much, but she is very polite and courteous towards him for the sake of my SIL.
My wife and I lost our 3-year-old son about a year ago. His death was sudden and there is not a day that goes by where I don’t grieve him. There will never come a day, hour, minute, or second I’ll stop loving or thinking about my son.
In my family, talking about a dead child makes people uncomfortable and is almost treated as taboo. I’m not too fond of this culture, and I have been candid about going to therapy, counseling sessions, support groups, etc.
My wife and I started going to marriage therapy after the loss of our son. My family believes that we are going to couples counseling because our marriage is failing or my wife isn’t ‘satisfying me enough.’ This could not be further from the truth and I think it’s a bit disgusting and ridiculous.
My SIL invited my wife and I for a nice dinner at their place to celebrate my wife’s birthday. Most of my family would be there and she promised us no drama and/or unnecessary comments.
We got there and it was nice at first. Everyone was being respectful and I was having fun.
Near the end, a few people gave my wife small gifts.
We were planning to open them at home and react privately but my brother was very adamant about seeing my wife’s reaction to his gift. He was so sure that he had the ‘best gift,’ and wanted my wife to open his gift in front of everyone.
Nothing could have prepared me for his present.
He gave her a baby romper meant for a newborn boy and an expensive set of lingerie.
I was so shocked. When she looked at him, he laughed and said that it was to ‘motivate her to bring a spark back into the marriage.’
Everyone was speechless until my wife politely thanked everyone for coming and then left, leaving my brother’s gift. I told my brother that the gift was wrong and incredibly inappropriate.
He started to get defensive and very aggressive so in anger, I called him an ‘inconsiderate, insecure, pompous jerk.’
My SIL (as well as a few other family members) told me that even if the gift was in bad taste, I shouldn’t have called him such names and ‘provoked him.’ I may be the jerk for the unnecessary name-calling.”
7. AITJ For Not Letting My Sister-In-Law Make A Speech At My Wedding?
“My fiancé & I (both 26) have been together for 5 years and his sister hasn’t been the most welcoming.
She excludes me from conversations, if he’s giving me attention she always pulls him away to ‘help’ with someone she wouldn’t need help with or will redirect a conversation so it’s about her or them as kids and won’t reply to me when I try to join the conversation.
I’ve taken it as to not cause waves but I’ve brought it to my fiancé and he’s agreed when he started to actually take note of the behavior.
We recently bought a house and decided for our anniversary we’d have our friends and family over for a housewarming/anniversary cookout. My sister made a toast praising & congratulating both of us and our relationship, as did a friend.
when SIL stood up she made it about her. Her happy to have me in quote ‘our life’ and just praised him. My friends don’t like her because they know of her exclusion and rudeness. My BFF, who is a bit extreme, told me to all-out ban her from the wedding since she thinks SIL will try to steal attention and make her speech about her.
(BFF has also pointed out that since she’s the only girl out of his siblings having me step in might feel like I’m taking her spot so she’s jealous of me).
How I see it is that she sees it as her family first and then I just happen to be there, even though she barely treats me like I am.
I told my fiance, since we only want like 2 speeches max anyway, that I didn’t want her to make a speech because she will make it about her or it will be ‘fake’ considering she doesn’t treat me like she likes me. He was fine with it, we told her together, and she threw a fit claiming I was trying to cut her out of his life, and now she’s mad at me and so is he.
AITJ for not letting her make a speech?”
6. AITJ For Spending A Lot On Sneakers?
“Ever since I was young, I loved sneakers. I always owned multiple pairs. I never spent a lot on sneakers though because I never had a lot of spending money and was mainly saving for the future.
My fiancée and I have been together for four years. During the first three years, I never really bought many shoes because of my job and it had me living essentially paycheck to paycheck.
I was always able to pay for my portion of the bills and rent. Over the course of the last year, I have gotten a much higher-paying job and was actually able to save more and more. I decided that after saving about 20k, it was time to allow myself to buy some of the sneakers I always wanted.
Since the start of the new year, I have bought about 25 pairs of sneakers with the most expensive pair being just under $200 but that was for a shoe that I wanted for many many years and they are rare to find them in as good condition as they were.
My fiancée wants me to stop buying shoes and focus more on us, but I have the ability to do both.
She also claims that storage is a problem. I do not see it that way as we have separate closets and part of mine is a shoe storage unit.
She gets mad at me whenever another pair shows up in the mail room and if I ever say I am going to the mall (which is just down the street) she makes sure to point out that I shouldn’t go into the sneaker stores.
I want to continue to build on my collection while also saving, but it just seems to make her mad. I wanted to come here to get unbiased opinions. So AITJ?”
5. AITJ For Not Clarifying To Someone That I'm Not A Girl?
“My coworker Daniel (27 M) recently invited me (25 M) to one of his friends’ parties. From my understanding, it was going to be very casual with 30+ people drinking and playing games so I decided to go.
On the day of the party, we finished our shift early and picked up a few drinks on the way there.
When we arrived Daniel introduced me to the host and a few of his friends before we got a drink and sat down. We played some games before Daniel left to talk to some other people so I decided to check out what everyone else was doing. I found a small group of 4 guys playing a Playstation 2 racing game and watched them for a bit before going to the bathroom and getting myself another drink.
While mixing the drink one of them approached me and asked me if I’m into console games. He never introduced himself properly but I later learned that his name is Jay and that he’s 28. I told him that I’m nostalgic about some console games since I used to play them as a kid.
He asked me if I wanted to join them and check out some other games they had laying around.
I agreed and we went back and I watched them play for a while. Eventually, Jay asked the others and me if we want to play a drinking game. I was already kinda tipsy so I agreed and we started playing cards. We both have to take a few shots and over the course of the game he gets kinda touchy with me and I reciprocate it.
After finishing the third round of cards we decide to go to the balcony to get some fresh air. It’s kind of cold so we cuddle up a little and end up kissing. Eventually, Daniel finds me and tells me that we have to leave now or we have to pay for a taxi. I reluctantly agreed and exchanged numbers with Jay before Daniel and I left.
On the way home, Daniel interrogates me about what Jay and I have been up to since one of his friends mentioned us being touchy. I tell him we kissed and he reacted surprised but didn’t say more. A day later I get an angry text from Jay asking if I’m a boy. I respond with ‘Yes what did you think’ and he gets really upset and tells me that I deceived him and that he isn’t gay.
That made me sad so I decided to just not respond anymore and to leave it be.
Next shift Daniel and I met he was kinda cold and I asked him if anything was wrong. He said that he thinks that it was wrong to not tell a guy who is ‘obviously straight’ that I’m actually a boy and that his friends made fun of him for hanging out with me.
Ever since then, he’s been very cold to me and I’m wondering if I actually did something wrong.
For clarification, I get mistaken for a woman by strangers a lot but I don’t think it’s possible for anyone who’s talking to me for more than a minute to not realize that I’m a man. For the party, I was wearing Vans, Sweatpants, and a hoodie. My name works for both genders.”
4. AITJ For Yelling And Cussing At My Husband In Front Of His Family?
“I have known my husband for about 10 years and we got married four months ago. While we were going out he told me that he had a massive fear of snakes because of something his brother did to him when he was 8. Now I never got to meet his brother. He said that he lived out of state and his family never talked about him so I assumed that he went no contact with them.
A week ago we went to go hang out with my husband‘s family. When we walked in, his mother was talking about how much she missed my husband’s brother. I didn’t think anything of this. I thought she was just sad because he was in no contact with them but it turns out his brother died when he was four.
From what I have gathered it was due to a medical issue that runs in the family. When I found out, I looked at my husband and all I saw was pure terror on his face and I just started cursing at him nonstop.
It’s important to know that I’ve always loved snakes. I grew up in a rescue center that my family owned and we had snakes coming in almost 5 times a week so I grew up loving snakes.
While we were going g out, I always talked about a corn snake that I had and how I wanted to get more because he had died when I moved in with my husband who was my partner at the time.
Now when I was somewhere in between yelling at my husband, my mother-in-law was so confused and wondering what I meant her baby had died when he was four. When I told her she started yelling at my husband. AITJ because my husband is not talking to me now? He’s saying I shouldn’t have said that in front of his family and I should’ve waited till we got home to confront him.”
3. AITJ For Making A Joke To My Mother-In-Law That She Can't Have A Plus One?
“I am getting married in June. We have been planning the wedding for a year and a half, and around the time we started booking things, MIL found out that FIL was having an affair with her friend. She didn’t take it well at all, not that I blame her, but the divorce really brought out a lot of bad qualities that I had somewhat seen in her, but she had his better before.
She is extremely selfish, always the victim, and she doesn’t really care about her son.
From the beginning, we said we were not going to be put in the middle. What FIL did was awful, but she cannot drag her son into this. He loves his dad and she needs to be respectful. Well, she whined for months about how she didn’t want to see FIL at the wedding, no one loved her or he wouldn’t be invited, she was depressed, etc.
We tried to comfort her, but while maintaining our boundary that he was absolutely going to have his dad at his wedding.
Well then MIL found out that FIL was bringing his partner, the woman he had the affair with, and she lost it. She said awful things to her son. Said the only way to prove we loved her was to deny him a plus one, threatened not to come, and tried to make her parents take back their money.
We explained she could bring someone as well, but she demanded he not get a plus one, and during a fight said she would go without one too, if we took his back.
Then five months ago she got a man and promptly shut up about all of this. She is suddenly excited about the wedding because apparently, the only purpose of her son’s wedding is to show off her man.
Five months ago it was the end of the world, but she has this new guy who, to be honest, is really hot, and FIL propositioned to sleep with her a few weeks ago, so she is on top of the world.
Recently MIL’s mom said I had to see what MIL was wearing to my wedding because it was so inappropriate.
Her mom was hysterical, so I checked it out, and honestly, it is fine. I’m not even sure what the issue was, but MIL insisted she was wearing it anyway because her partner picked it out.
I just saw a great opportunity and said well it sucks he won’t get to see you in it. MIL said he was coming, and I was like no sorry I think you misunderstood, remember you gave up your plus one so we would take FIL’s because after all, it is so soon after the divorce.
She lost her mind and started calling me names, saying our marriage wasn’t going to last, and everyone trash talks about our relationship. Then she started crying and locked herself in the bathroom.
I told her it was just a prank and she came out all huffy and refused to talk to me. Her mom said that was incredibly cruel. Everyone else thought it was funny.”
2. AITJ For Telling My Sister My Wife Might Be Pregnant During Her Wedding?
“My sister Emma (32) is getting married in March 2023. She started going out with her now fiancé in college so this is a long time coming for her. Meanwhile, I (28 M) got married a couple of months ago after one year of being together + 1 year of being engaged. I could tell Emma was bitter when I got engaged and she hadn’t reached that milestone yet but nothing I could do about that.
Emma asked my wife Kate (25 F) to be a bridesmaid, they aren’t that close but it was a nice gesture. Kate was shocked but said yes. This weekend while at our mom’s house, Emma was talking about how all her friends are having kids and how she can’t wait. I told her the same here, and let her know that Kate and I plan to start ‘trying soon’.
She then goes ‘Wait wait wait, I hope by soon you mean after my wedding’. To which I laughed thinking she was joking and was like ‘No, I mean soon soon.’
Emma kinda freaked out and said that if I was going to do the big wedding before her despite being 4 years younger the least we could do is not be pregnant at her wedding.
Again I thought surely she must not be serious and basically told her, I don’t know how long it will take but there is a high likelihood of Kate being pregnant at her wedding, it just is what it is. Assuming no complications, and given no infertility on either side we don’t expect there to be.
Emma was really upset and said she wouldn’t have asked Kate to be a bridesmaid if she knew she might be showing. I said I’m sure Kate would be fine with stepping down from the wedding party, no big deal (confirmed with Kate, she’s fine and not offended) but Emma is still mad at us. It feels kind of ridiculous to me but my female friend said ‘You’re right that it’s unreasonable but I get what Emma feels’. So I guess I wanted to get some 3rd party takes here to see if were in the wrong.”
1. AITJ For Telling My Friend I Won't Be Going To Her Wedding Because Of One Of Her Guests?
“I (F 26) have been best friends with Britney (F 26) since 7th grade. When we were in juniors in high school I had a huge falling out with a girl, let’s call her Anna, who I had been very close friends with for years and who Britney was and still is close friends with. The fight went on for so long and completely ruined our friend group.
For some reason, Britney still stayed friends with Anna although the rest of us dropped her.
For more context here’s some info on the fight. I’m an extremely affectionate person with my friends so when Anna started going out with this guy in our group named Jimmy, I didn’t see a reason to stop my physical affection towards her.
Anna and Jimmy seemed to have a huge problem with this and said I needed to learn some boundaries because Jimmy was uncomfortable with me touching his partner all the time. Anna confronted me on this but I stayed strong and stood my ground, why should I change just because her partner doesn’t like it? The fight got pretty dirty with me leaving the friend group but later convincing the others to drop Anna and Jimmy instead because I felt like they were the problem in this situation.
Anna and I haven’t talked since but it’s never felt right that Britney is still very close with her.
Britney’s wedding is coming up in a few weeks and when I was invited I asked if Anna would also be in attendance because I know those two still talk. The answer was yes, so I immediately told Britney I wouldn’t be going to her wedding if Anna is there.
Britney’s really upset about this and is saying I need to get over it because it happened so long ago in high school and we’re adults now, she says that all the others who were involved back then don’t even care anymore and think it’s all silly now. I’m still quite offended by that fight and just can’t let myself slide it under the rug.
So am I the jerk?”