People Are Losing Sleep Over These "Am I The Jerk" Stories
29. WIBTJ For Reporting My Mom and Sister?
“I 24(m) reside with my mom in a rural part of the USA. For context when it comes to my sister(37), she is much older and we come from different fathers, and both grew up in split custody arrangements. We are not particularly close, almost acquaintances more so than siblings.
I don’t really feel any familial connection even though I care for her, I don’t feel obligated to bend backward for her.
Well sister lives 2 hours away (in a much more urban area) and is currently going through a separation. Her and her ex-husband only had one vehicle and it belongs to the ex-husband, so when they split, he took the car.
Sister has 4 daughters and works a full time job, I on the other hand work from home and have no real external responsibilities.
My mom came to me asking if my sister could borrow my car for a couple of months until the separation is finalized so she has a way of transporting her and her kids to wherever they need to be without the financial burden of purchasing another car, or relying exclusively on ridesharing.
I just recently bought my car(’12 V8 Mustang), and it’s my first vehicle ever, I didn’t get a hand-me-down, or get one as a present when I turned 16 or 18, I was basically immobile except occasionally being allowed to drive my moms car, or when my dad had me I could get ubers.
Getting my own vehicle was extremely liberating (minus the loan), and I don’t feel trapped at home, so when I was approached with this proposal I flat out said no.
I can totally understand the justification for letting her use my car for a couple months, but aside from the fact I don’t want to lose my newfound sense of freedom, I also just don’t want someone else driving my car, and maybe that’s selfish of me.
Over the last few days my mom and sister have been trying to convince me to let her use the car, saying that she would pay for the car payment while she has the car, or that she’d pay for insurance if she has it longer than anticipated.
No matter what they brought to the table, I kept saying no. Much to their dissatisfaction.
Fast forward to this morning, I realize that my mom isn’t home. I opened our garage to see that her car was still there, but mine was not.
I immediately know what has happened and call my mom about the situation. She just tries to calm me down and have me try to picture it from my sisters point of view, but I’m just flushed with anger and instead just tell her that I’m going to report the vehicle as stolen instead.
She just hung up the phone.
As of now I presume my car is down with my sister, and I am seriously considering reporting it stolen and naming her and my sister as perpetrator and conspirator. I really don’t want it to go that far, and I hope that we could instead work this out.
But what I initially said as an angry threat, I’m starting to really consider as an option. I just don’t know if it’s worth burning so many bridges over a car, but the fact that my family won’t respect my boundaries or my property is so frustrating.
28. AITJ For Not Tipping?
“This has been bothering me for so long and I’m not sure how to feel. I recently went to JFK Airport with my mother to pick up her mother from a flight from India. If you have gone to JFK you know how stressful it can be at times navigating the terminals, finding parking, etc.
I went with my mother due to her english not being great and she needed help navigating. The whole pick up and navigation was on me. I was so worried about my grandmother because she does not have a cell phone and I did not want her waiting if we were late, also keep in mind she needs wheelchair assistance and so I was super stressed the entire time.
I did not want to be late for her OR have the wheelchair attendant waiting.
Luckily we got there before she arrived but at the time I did not know that. The flight tracker had said the flight landed an hour ago and I prayed that she was still on the plane and just had a delay with getting off.
Eventually I see my grandmother, I was relieved and the first thing I did was hug her. I looked at the wheelchair attendant and said, “Thank you so much for bringing her here safely, I sincerely appreciate it.” Not even a second had passed after I said that and the attendant goes, “Thats it?” I say “Hm?” He then proceeds to say “Okay thats all I get? a thank you? no tip? wow” (my mom was going to tip him but we were so happy to see her and immediately hugged her so she did not have cash out) I proceeded to say sorry and I followed up with, “My mom was going to tip you but now I’m not even sure she should.
Thats not appropriate at all.” He then gets defensive and goes on a rant about how people are cheap while he works his tail off everyday. I then say “In the future, if you want tips, don’t be so rude.” I then proceeded to look at my mother and say, “Just tip him and lets go.” I was fuming.
As my mother is pulling out the tip, the wheelchair attendant looks at me and goes, “I don’t want your darn money anymore.” He scoffs and walks away.
I have worked customer service jobs all my life. I know how hard it can be having a job like his.
A job where tips make majority of your pay. I understand how underpaid wheelchair attendants are. But, even at jobs where I was getting paid $9 and hour and relied on tips, I was never an jerk to someone about not tipping me.
He made a whole scene in front of 30 people. This was my first time going to pick someone up from the airport as well, I sincerely didn’t know if I was supposed to have the tip out already. Am I the jerk? Obviously next time I will have cash out to immediately give to them and not waste any time, but this whole interaction left such a bad taste in my mouth. I feel so guilty for what I said knowing how hard he does work. I was just so shocked at the time that he had said that the way he did.”
27. AITJ For Being Annoyed By My Family?
“I (15M) was born in Nigeria and I am black. I also have a more American name compared to the rest of my family that have more traditional Nigerian names. I lived in Nigeria for the first 3 years of my life but have been living in America since.
My parents are separated, and I live with my mom. At age 11, my mom made me leave for 2 weeks and didn’t provide me breakfast for 3 weeks because I was wearing my dad’s old shirt he gave me, and how if I wanted to give her that nonsense, I had to face the consequences.
Apparently, I was emotionally abusing her and mocking her.
At 14, she sold the PS5 I had purchased to buy something for my oldest sister. It wasn’t for a roof over her head, it was just the really expensive handbag my sister couldn’t afford.
I voiced my anger at my mom about how I paid for it and how she couldn’t sell things without permission. She made me leave for 1 month because I wasn’t supporting my family.
Story: During dinner, my mom was reminiscing about her time in Nigeria and asked if I remembered.
I said no, as I was too young to recall. My uncle then made a joke about me being black on the outside but white on the inside, and everyone, including my siblings, laughed. I forced a laugh as well, although I disliked the joke.
My sister and mom then said I wasn’t Nigerian enough, I was just a white person in an African man’s skin.
I felt hurt and excused myself from the table. My sister came to my room afterward and asked if I was okay.
I told her that I was hurt by the joke, and she dismissed my feelings, saying it was just a joke and that I should stop being so sensitive. I told her that I still felt hurt about the comments about me.
She disagreed and said that men should take such jokes better. I pointed out that the double standard doesn’t make what they said acceptable. She then told me to go back to the big city with the white people if I couldn’t handle the jokes.
Later, my mom came to my room and told me to stop being a jerk and man up. I expressed my discomfort with the jokes made by my uncle and sister. She responded by saying that I should toughen up and that others have it worse.
I reminded her that she had always taught me to focus on my problems. She said if I wanted to be such a smart aleck I could do it at my dad’s apartment. She then decided to kick me out of the house.
My siblings joined in, saying hurtful things and claiming that I wasn’t Nigerian and I was an oyinbo(white person) playing pretend. I might’ve been the jerk here. I voiced my anger at my mom about how she made me sleep on newspapers sometimes and other forms of neglect.
She left me outside for 30 minutes until my dad arrived and took me to his apartment.
My dad believes I did nothing wrong and supports me, as do my friends, but the rest of my family says I am wrong. I don’t think voicing my anger at my mom was the best way to communicate my feelings, but I’m currently at my dad’s apartment. Am I the jerk, Reddit?”
26. AITJ For Ignoring My In-Laws?
“I (37m) and my wife (35f) bought a house and have been working on remodeling it. We have received help from my FIL (64m) and MIL (65f) that has saved us not only a lot of time and money, but we’ve learned a lot from them as well.
Wonderful people. They just have some quarks that puzzles even my wife, but it’s few and far in-between.
A couple of months ago, my brother organized a “dudes day,”, which included tailgating and going to a game. Involved a few of my closest male cousins and my wife’s brother from out of town.
No partners. A whole male bonding sort of thing.
My FIL and MIL mentioned they had some time this summer, wanted to visit, and help with some projects around the house. My wife explained that we had a few events planned that they were welcome to join, but said I had a thing to go to with my brother that involved a game.
She didn’t know all the details, but that it was organized by my brother and was considered a day for me to spend time with my cousins.
They came up about a week before. They stayed in a hotel since they like to do their own thing.
We made a point to visit daily, had a BBQ with them and my BIL, and generally did things with them so they weren’t spending their whole time focused on house projects. When the dudes party came up, my FIL mentioned they might get tickets to the game.
I didn’t think much of it, but had a “you do you” mindset about it, but I explained that the event was planned by my brother and I intended to spend time with my cousins.
We get to our dudes day. I get a text from my FIL/MIL while tailgating saying they were at the game, seeing if I could come find them.
I was admittedly a little annoyed because this was a day to spend with my cousins (they knew this) and it felt a little like they were inviting themselves (which, is one of their quarks that they do that sometimes). Regardless, there was no way I could.
This place was way too crowded and I had a hard time finding my way around. I messaged him that it was super crowded. Said maybe I could catch him later.
At the game, they must have been texting my BIL because he said he was going to find them and visit.
I didn’t go with, I was still a little peeved. Spent the rest of the time with my brother and cousins.
My in-laws came to the house to visit the next day and seemed miffed. My MIL especially. They didn’t say anything directly, but I’m wondering if they were upset about the event.
My wife assured me that she supports me because, 1) we didn’t organize it, 2) they weren’t invited and 3) it was clear that it was a day meant for the guys. She suggested a few things that might justify why they were like this, but she shares my frustration.
I think I might be the jerk because I could have gone over to visit during the game and made more of an effort to include them, but was annoyed because it was an event for me and my cousins. They’ve been super helpful with our house projects, so I feel guilty. AITJ?”
25. AITJ For Refusing To Help My Family?
“I (M22) have been driving for around 4 years now. Since learning to drive, I have become the family’s on call taxi who everyone seems to fall back on whenever they’re in need of a lift, but can’t be bothered to pay for a taxi.
I don’t drink, unlike the rest jt my family, so they know I don’t have many excuses to not give lifts, so unless they know I am out for the evening/night, they ask me and expect me to just say yeah because they don’t seem understand to understand that me being at my partners house spending time with her is to good enough excuse to be too busy to give lifts.
My most frequent requester at the moment is my sister (F17) who works in a restaurant roughly 15 minutes away from my home. My mum pestered her to get this job as she is in college full time. She works most weekends, and works until awkward hours such as 22:00, 23:00 and 00:00 at times.
I am asked to pick her up on a weekly basis without fail by both my sister and my mum, bearing in mind my mum also drives, so I’m not the only one with the capability.
Yesterday I received a message aroumd 16;00 from my sister asking if I would pick her up at either 22:00 or 23:00 depending on what time she finished, she wasn’t sure if she would be late or not, which I refused as I hadn’t seen my pertner much due to revision I had been doing the past few weeks, and the weekend before I had to get her both Friday and Saturday as my mum was away for the weekend.
I refused, explained that I did both nights the prior weekend and she could arrange with my mum a lift prior to my mum beginning to drink. I received no reply. I went about my night as usual until 22:02 when I got a text from my mum asking if I wasn’t actually getting my sister.
I explained that I wasn’t, and I had told her that well in advance so that she could arrange another lift. After some back and forth of me being pestered by my mum, and me standing my ground, she finally ending the conversation with “ok” and that was that.
Cut to this morning, my mum barges into my room at 07:45, demanding I do a set list of jobs because they’re going out, waking me up for no reason more than what I believe was pettiness, to request something she could have done via a text to allow me to continue sleeping for another hour or so. AITA for not just giving the lifts when they ask?”
24. AITJ For Yelling At My Son's Teacher?
“Last Thursday I, 36M got a call from my son’s school telling me I needed to come and collect him because he had passed out during class. My son has passed out a good few times before, so we’ve made sure he knows what to do when he starts to feel faint to make sure he doesn’t hurt himself.
However, when I arrived at the school my son was holding an ice pack to his head, when I asked about it the nurse told me he had hit his head when he fell, I wondered why he hadn’t lay down like we taught him to do, I brushed it off and decided to ask him about it later as he was still kind of out of it.
The next day I asked him about it and what he told me made my blood boil. Apparently when my son had first started to feel like he was going to pass out he tried to tell his teacher. When he stood up to talk to her he was immediately yelled at to sit back down.
The next time he tried to tell her she told him that he didn’t look sick so he wasn’t allowed to go to the nurses office. Then,his class was doing an activity that required standing for practically the rest of the lesson, before the activity started my son, yet again told this teacher that he felt like he was going to pass out and asked if he could sit the activity out.
The teacher responded by yelling at him, claiming he was just being lazy and was making excuses. My son’s friend was getting worried about him so he told the teacher, who then started yelling at his friend, accusing them both of trying to get out of lesson.
Not even a minute later my son passed out, and according to his friend and a couple other classmates, she acted very shocked, as if she hadn’t been ignoring him trying to tell her how he felt for the last 5 minutes.
I’m extremely worried about the impact this will have on my son, as when the fainting first started he didn’t tell any of his teachers as he was scared that they were going to yell at him, this resulted in quite a few injuries from falling.
It has taken a while for him to start telling them when he’s feeling faint and I’m afraid this incident will cause him to stop asking and he will hurt himself.
I had wanted to go down to the school that day but my son had stayed off and my wife wasn’t home from work yet.
The following Monday I arranged an appointment with the Principal. After I explained what had happened, he called in my son’s teacher, who then tried to deny the fact that he ever told her anything and he had just randomly collapsed.
This is where I may be the jerk. By this point I was very upset, I began to scream at her, yelling about how my son could have gotten hurt. I was so upset I hadn’t even noticed that she’d started to cry.
By that point I was asked to leave by the principal.
My wife and some of my friends think I’m in the right, but my parents and the other half of my friends think I went too far. I don’t know about this one
What do you guys think, AITJ?”
23. AITJ For Kicking Out My Mom?
“I (23F) live with my mom (48F) and sister (16F). Our family is separated. My sister and I live with our mom and my dad resides in another house, but we kids and our dad are on good terms. Both my parents separated because my mother has an affairs, and due to my dad being the sole provider, this made him aggressive and unable to control his anger.
This happened quite often during the early part of 2020 and as the older sister, I often intervened and sometimes would take the hit myself. I was the middleman in the family and I had to mediate things with my parents so that they could reach an agreement.
My dad agreed that he would continue supporting us financially and chose to move out instead, and apologized to my sister and I. Since my mom has been stepping out on my dad since I was 8 years old and this left me extremely traumatized, I told her that I would not agree to any man she would introduce to me or my sister.
Three years have passed and now the family is civil, yet there are still numerous disputes regarding finances. My mom does not have a job, and was recently at dispute with a local bank for being in significant debt. She would often complain to me that my dad would send less financial support but I see her always being out every weekend with her friends, spending on expensive restaurants and buying numerous cheap things that she doesn’t need.
Nowadays, my dad is doing his best to be a great dad to my sister and I.
Recently this month, my sister and I discovered that our mom was seeing a man with a family, two young girls and a lovely wife.
My sister opened her phone, went through her WhatsApp and saw how the wife messaged my mom and asked her to kindly stop being a mistress for the sake of her kids. During dinner, I told her to pack her things and leave next week.
She asked me why I was asking her to do so, and I explained everything to her. I reminded her that we made a deal, that if she ruins another family she’s out of the house. She kept insisting that I couldn’t do that since she was my mother, and I told her that it’s been so long since I saw her as one and that her trying to destroy another person’s family was the last straw.
Things got heated and we yelled at each other for the whole night. Apparently, my aunts and uncles found out about the situation and right now have been criticizing me about how I could do this to my own mother. I didn’t have the energy to explain everything and left them all on read.
Other family members and her friends are calling me a jerk on social media for being an entitled brat, but I really don’t see anything wrong with what I did. My dad knew about this just recently and I barely got a reaction from him, he just asked me if I was really serious about kicking her out. I am torn, Reddit. AITJ?”
22. AITJ For Calling Out My Step-Grandma?
“Ok so I(15f) noticed my stepdad’s mom (we’ll call her Bea) being rude to my mom. We were invited to my stepdad’s brother’s wedding. I went with my mom because I didn’t like the thought of her having to be alone.
So it’s reception time and obviously Bea was there.
Now when everyone’s getting their food, Bea asked my mom to serve her. My mom helped her. Then stepdad’s 2 uncles asked my mom to serve them too. Everyone was sitting down and my mom and I still hadn’t gotten our food.
My mom said yes, I helped her with it. For the rest of the time they kept asking my mom to do things for them. I helped her with their plates, and disposing their plates for them, getting their cake for them and stuff like that.
Now I was getting annoyed because I know my mom just wanted to rest instead of being treated like a server. But I didn’t want to tell her to just go sit down because I didn’t want her to have to sit at the table alone.
Now I could tell she was visibly annoyed by not being able to sit down the whole time. And my stepdad wasn’t paying attention because he was the best man so he was in the wedding.
And then afterwards of course we have to get stuck with driving Bea home.
And during the drive they were talking about how beautiful the bride looked in the dress, I said something like “She looked pretty normal to me” because it seemed more like a rushed wedding and in my eyes the dress was average.
My mom told me to be quiet and then Bea proceeded to say “Wow you’re just like your mom, never excited about anything are you?” But I didn’t respond knowing that would only upset my mom more. Now this isn’t the only time she’s made backhanded comments at my mom.
There have been many occasions. But now at 15, I found an old Christmas video from like 2017 where me and my brother are opening our presents, being excited little kids.
In the video she was saying how she had to leave and my mom was telling us to say bye in a nice sweet tone you would talk to little kids in.
At this Bea said to my brother “look she doesn’t want to say my name.” With a smile like she meant it as a rude joke. Bea then said, “I know your mom doesn’t want to tell you my name, just call me Ms.
(Blank).” So then my mom and my stepdad went to stay over at Bea’s house I went with them. I kept my earbuds in though they weren’t playing anything just so hopefully. Of course she tried to talk to me anyway.
I ignored her the first time then she tried again and I ignored her. Then I took my earbuds out finally and she said “you’re just like your mom huh, you don’t wanna talk to people?” And she said it with a bit of a laugh and a tone that you would talk to a little kid with. I said “Don’t talk about my mom. It’s really rude and disrespectful how you talk about her.” My stepdad told me not to talk to his mom that way and my mom told me to apologize. AITJ?”
21. AITJ For Confronting My Father?
“My (26F) father was raised in poverty. His father abandoned them and his mother worked a lot to provide, but with 5 kids, things were challenging. I have a lot of empathy for his family and always admired my grandmother for all she did, along with my great-grandmother who provided free childcare and would clean the house for her.
I know they did not have it easy.
My dad along with his siblings managed to pull themselves out of poverty. Two of my uncles became well off, while the rest of the family are comfortable, middle class. I have always been grateful for the sacrifices this family has made and have told my dad more than once how proud I am for all he’s overcome.
My father always had to make the point of how fortunate me and my sisters were to have what we did. He doesn’t say these things in a nostalgic, sad way…it’s in a nasty, “you’re lucky you get this because I don’t have to give it to you” kind of way.
Even though we always showed gratitude. If we were ever having a bad day or disagreed with our parents over something, my dad would tell us how good we have it and he could “make things worse for us” and make us live how he did growing up.
My mom and us have tried to make that up to him, giving him birthday parties, things he wanted as a kid, etc. Still, every holiday and birthday, he made us feel like jerks for having parties and gifts because he never did until he married my mom.
It always left us feeling like we didn’t deserve any of it and that we couldn’t ever have a rough time or be upset with him, because he was giving us what he didn’t.
I have struggled with depression and anxiety since my teens, something I hid from my parents for a very long time, because of how my dad is.
I’m in therapy. I am still learning how to feel I actually deserve good things in my life and it’s okay to feel things other than happiness. It’s not my job to make my father feel better about his childhood.
Recently, my youngest sister and some of our cousins graduated, either from high school or college.
My mom and aunts were planning a big family party to celebrate. My dad was on his kick over how “spoiled” my sister is, he never got a party for graduating. It got to the point where my sister was feeling really bad and said she didn’t need a party.
My dad said no, it was fine, she just better remember how lucky she is. I told my dad none of this was necessary, just let her enjoy something for once in her life. He started on how he never had it and I said “Your terrible childhood is not our problem.
Get some therapy or stop taking it out on the rest of us.” He started on me about being disrespectful and I just went back to my place.
My mom says I wasn’t wrong but I should’ve stayed out of it and not said it to him, because he’s not going to listen anyway.
I then annoyed her off by saying she’s right, she should’ve stood up for her own kid and called her a coward. Now, both of them are upset at me and my sisters worry I’ve only made things worse. (Though they’re grateful I said it) AITJ?”
20. AITJ For Kicking Someone Out Of Their Seat?
“I (30 M), my spouse (27 F), my older brother (40) and my father (70) attended a music festival yesterday. Some bands that I love were performing so I got us all tickets. It’s an amphitheater with a roof and side walls, and we’d had some disappointing experiences buying General Admission tickets only to sit in the rain on the outer lawn, so we bought indoor seated tickets.
We arrived during the first act and had a great time the first half of the day. There were only two seats to the left of ours, and a bunch of empty seats on the right. There are ushers who sometimes remove you from seats you haven’t purchased but they tend to be more relaxed than strict about it.
I mention this because of what happened later on.
In between acts we’d go walk around the festival and check out the smaller venue stages, and when we came back to our assigned seats there was this rather large individual sitting in the seat directly next to mine.
I’m certainly not a slender man, but as soon as I saw her next to my seat I knew sitting there wouldn’t really work for either of us because due to her size, significant parts of her body spilled into my seat and she’d be practically laying on me.
I’m not ok with people invading my personal space bubble, and I didn’t want to cause trouble or make this lady feel bad but I also wanted to stay close to my family, so I stood behind my spouse’s seat in the walking aisle and leaned on the metal railing, leaving my seat empty.
I didn’t want to be that guy who goes around policing people, and she may’ve had tickets for that seat anyway. I was honestly ok with standing on the aisle behind my spouse. My dad wanted to bring it up to her but I said no I was fine.
As soon as I made the switch to the aisle, this woman started giving me dirty looks. She was obviously angry/offended that I didn’t sit next to her. I ignored it but eventually she made a point to stare me down so at that point I just looked at her, shrugged my shoulders and went on with enjoying the show.
Eventually an usher saw me in the aisle and told me to take my seat but I told him that wouldn’t really work seeing as how the lady sitting next to me was basically taking up both her seat and mine.
I also told him I was fine with standing and I didn’t want to cause any trouble for her. This usher decided to take it upon himself to ask for her seat ticket (which is EXACTLY the situation I wanted to avoid) and she didn’t have one, so he told her to leave.
She gave me a death stare on her way out. In her mind I was being size discriminatory or trying to discriminate because of their size. Being an indigenous man in an interracial marriage with multiple large/obese family members this couldn’t be farther from the truth as I find discrimination disgusting.
What I’m wondering is, was what I did offensive? I was willing to give up the seat I had exchanged resources for and was perfectly happy standing until the usher got involved. But the amount of anger and hatred in her eyes made me rethink my course of action.
19. AITJ For Keeping A Family Secret?
“In high school, my uncle found himself in a love triangle. He ended up getting both of the girls pregnant but ultimately married one (Rose) and cut off all contact with the other (Violet). My uncle and Rose had a boy (Blue) and Violet gave birth to a girl (Lily).
Because Rose has a strong dislike for Violet, my uncle decided it best to never see her or their daughter. He also thought it was a good idea to never tell Blue he has a half-sister.
I (23f) was not aware of any of this until I was seven.
My parents were dealing with some financial troubles and we ended up living with my uncle’s mother for a year. My parents and her would frequently discuss Violet and Lily and how it wasn’t fair for my uncle to keep such a secret from his son.
Naturally, seven-year-old me was quite confused so my mom explained the situation to me and made me promise to never tell Blue about Lily. So, I never did. I tried not to think about it and made sure to keep my mouth shut around Blue.
I don’t think I ever seriously considered telling him about Lily. Looking back, it’s one of the things I feel most guilty about.
When I was 13, Blue and his family distanced themselves from us and that was that. My uncle ended up telling Blue about Lily a few months ago.
Apparently he was concerned about Blue meeting his sister by accident and the two having genetic attraction?? Anyway, I met Blue at a family reunion last week. We started catching up on the years since we’ve last seen each other. Blue starts talking about his family and “I don’t know if you know yet but I found out I have a half-sister.” I said something along the lines of “trust me, I KNOW.
Her name’s Lily right?” I didn’t think it was a big deal since the secret was out. But Blue was a bit surprised at how relaxed I was and asked how I knew. I then explained to him everything I just wrote here.
He was shocked to learn this. He said he couldn’t believe I knew and never told him. I knew something important about his life for years that he just recently found out himself. Now, I have half siblings as well and we all love and care about each other.
Blue started raising his voice and kept asking that if it was the other way around, would I have wanted him to tell me about my half-siblings?
His parents came and quickly broke up the conversation and the family reunion ended early.
I haven’t spoken to Blue since. Things are very tense and I don’t even know how to approach this. The family is split all over the place but most are telling Blue to just get over it because, apparently, I’m not the only one of his cousins who knew about Lily and that if he wants to blame someone, to blame his uncle and Rose.
Blue’s words just keep repeating over and over in my head. If the situation was reversed, I would have wanted him to tell me the truth. I was seven when I found out but when I was 15? 16? I feel like I should have said something then and not just shrugged it off and let Blue live his life in a huge lie. I feel like we’ve all failed him as a family.”
18. AITJ For Not Letting My Roommate Stay?
“My best friend and I had been roommates for 3 years, since July 2020. By the 3rd year, I was feeling ready to move in with my significant other of 5 years, who was scheduled to graduate from college in June 2023.
In April, my significant other landed a job that was significantly far from my place of work, so we decided for me to keep living with my best friend for another year while my significant other found housing near their work.
I heard whispers from friends starting in February that my roommate was planning to relocate out of state. When I confronted him about it in late April, my roommate said that his plan was still to continue living with me for another year.
Then, in early May, I heard from friends that my roommate was planning to relocate out of state again. When I confronted him, he was set on a plan to move at the end of August. I felt he was being inconsiderate in not keeping me directly updated on his plans.
My significant other’s lease in a distant city was set to end mid-June, while my roommate and I’s lease was set to end August. Our landlord had previously expressed that we could end our lease early. Based on the urgency of my significant other finding housing, I proposed to my roommate that he could stay in the second bedroom of whatever housing my significant other and I found.
I quickly toured and found a place, and due to pressure to secure it, signed to start the new lease June 15. This date aligned well with my significant other moving back to the area. My roommate and I started to pack our things, planning to move out the last week of June.
However, my roommate then decided to go on a trip out of the country from June 20 – July 15. He packed some stuff up before leaving, but I had to move all the furniture, most of his belongings, and take care of all the cleaning of our old place.
Before he left, my roommate informed me he also wasn’t planning to contribute to the lease for the new place while he was gone. Based on this, my significant other and I decided that it was unfair to hold a whole room for him while he was gone and not contributing to the lease.
We instead set up the house as we desired, and I texted my friend that we had changed our minds. We offered the couch and storage for short term. My friend initially accepted, but after he looked into airbnbs, he was upset about the prices and said he expected us to keep our promise to give him a place to stay.
I told him he could stay on our couch as long as needed, but he was adamant about having a bed and desk fully set up. My significant other and I do not want to accommodate this, even if he contributes to the lease for the 6 weeks he moves back, because we would have to significantly rearrange our new house to make it work.
In our minds, he nullified the offer for him to stay with us when he left the country during our moving window. I realize that I made a mistake in the original promise, but I feel l made things work the best I could given the complicated and stressful situation of the last 2 months.”
17. AITJ For Lying To My Parents?
“My parents have always been very adamant that my siblings and I stay in our home city when we go to university. The city in question is London, and there are loads of great universities here. My older sister goes to a university in the city, and I told my parents I applied to some big universities, all in London.
The thing is though, I applied to universities all over the UK and I haven’t told my parents. I am planning on leaving soon and leaving a letter instead of actually talking to them about it.
The reason I have not told them is because I asked my mum if she would approve of me leaving London for university, and she lectured me for hours and told me that I would receive no support from my family if I leave and if I apply outside London, she will pull me out of school to work for my dad (he owns a small grocery store).
My mum is also incredibly manipulative. For instance, when I was 12 I said “I want to move out when I’m older so I can have a really nice house” to which my mum gave me an hour-long lecture which made me feel like I was the worst son in the world because my mum raised me and I should be wanting to take care of her.
She does this a lot. I don’t think I can stay and talk about it because I feel like she will try and guilt me into staying and I’m scared it might actually work.
The reason I want to leave London is that I currently have no independence or freedom.
My parents expect my siblings and I to be home constantly unless we have school. I am 19 right now, and I am only allowed out of the house to go to the gym, and I have to be back by 8pm.
I am not allowed to go to a friend’s house, unless my mum knows them, which is fair, but she refuses to meet my friends, and when I brought up that if she refuses to meet them, how will she know them, she simply said “tough” and laughed in a very condescending way (the kind of laugh you do when someone you dislike does something dumb).
This is just an example and there are plenty of other ways my parents try to control my life.
Another thing is in my culture, it is very uncommon for sons to move out of their parents’ homes and they are expected to look after them as elderly.
All of my male relatives live with their parents, and I have seen it lead to quite a bit of drama so I do not mind avoiding that.
I am currently looking for a job to get me through the summer, a few friends all offered me a place to stay, and I have enough savings to cover rent for the summer, so any income made will go to rent during university. I am planning on leaving before my family goes on holiday, and I will be leaving a letter. AITJ for not talking to my family and moving out suddenly?”
16. AITJ For Canceling On My Husband?
“My spouse and I are in our early 40s. We have a toddler and I am heavily pregnant with our second. Maybe 1-2x a year he will go out with certain people and I know that I am in for a bad night.
One time he went out with two Brit’s who he works with. He told me he would be home around 11pm. Instead, he came home at 3am, after I hadn’t heard from him for two hours and he was filthy. Covered in mud.
In the morning when I asked what had happened, he couldn’t tell me if had fallen down because he had gotten into a fight (!!!?) or had just fallen down. I also come to find out that his Brit friends went home earlier and he kept drinking with some Irish guys who he had just met.
We had a huge argument after that.
I’m sharing that as a bit of background.
Last night he went out with some friends who he hadn’t seen in awhile. I said, please please just don’t over drink. He’s also on medication that doesn’t work if he drinks.
He promised me he would not and would be home by 10pm because today he has a full day or work, an appointment with someone coming to do some work on our water heater and we have a date night that he planned.
I get a text at 10pm saying he hasn’t left yet but will shortly and then nothing. Complete radio silence. At midnight I can see that he’s still out. No response to my texts. So I go to bed. A little after 1am I check his whereabouts (because of course I couldn’t sleep) and it says he’s home.
I go to investigate (I had locked the bedroom door because I didn’t want his intoxicated smell in the bed) and he’s leaning outside our front door. Like just leaning against the outside door. I have no idea how long he’d been there.
So I open the door, he comes in and immediately falls down. I have to implore him to get up because I can’t lift him myself, and finally get him to fall onto the couch. I take his shoes off and leave him to sleep it off.
I go to check on him at around 5:30am and find his clothes strewn about and huge throw up wine stains on our white couch and all over the carpet. It’s a mess. He’s moved to sleep upstairs in the guest room.
When he finally resurfaces he’s apologetic and genuinely remorseful and we have a huge talk about his actions. Obviously I’m still upset and in no mood to go on a date with him. So I text my mother who was supposed to babysit and tell her that my husband isn’t feeling well so we’re going to go out some other time.
I share this with my husband and he is livid. First, snarkily says to me, “ok so I’m going to separate from you for the rest of the day.” When I say, excuse me??? He explodes and says how dare I cancel without consulting him, that I haven’t shown partnership which is what marriage is and that it was extremely selfish and punitive of me to do so and I should have asked him first.
Look there’s a lot I could say about that reaction but what it comes down to is, based on all of the above, AITJ here in unilaterally cancelling date night?”
15. AITJ For Playing With My Nephew?
“My brother 38(m) and SIL (39F) asked me (40f) to go live with them and help care for my nephew (then 1.5). SIL was going through a crisis with her dad’s health and might need to leave town. She and I had never seen eye-to-eye up to that point, and I have a happy, childless life, but I love my brother, so I went.
I had a blast with my nephew for 6 months (3 months in, SIL left for 2 months). I didn’t know how long I’d last (I kept my housing in another state and worked remotely), and I wanted to create a bond with nephew, knowing I live far apart and this might be our only chance.
So, I spent our time together playing/learning, even when I was cooking or doing most housework, all for free. I have a degree in early childhood education, which helped. When on his mom’s watch, she was busy or on phone, and he’d come back, knocking on my door.
Turning him away felt wrong.
My brother told me once that I should be ‘busy’ too, because my being fun made my nephew like me more. I said that I wanted him to feel like a priority but feelings were not comparable: she was the mom, I was just the fun aunt.
She once asked me to be firm. I explained that I respect her authority as a mom, but 1) I was firm, and 2) I couldn’t disrespect *his* autonomy. She might force a diaper change or sweep him up when he didn’t want to move.
I would wait for him to agree. These were the only instances of them expressing any concern.
Still, when I left, she thanked me. She said she had been able to leave her son for 2 months and visit her ailing dad before he was too sick to enjoy time together.
I thanked her for a chance to bond with my nephew. I actually felt our relationship had even healed.
2 years later. At first, she avoided meeting. When we did meet at my parents’ town, she was talking to nephew as if I were a stranger they’d just met.
It took about 2 hours for him to get used to me and start acting like I was a caregiver. He asked to visit me the next day.
Then, she asked my parents to ban me from their house, saying that they couldn’t see their grandchild if I were there.
She had a ridiculous excuse (I answered nephew’s question about ‘what is a church’), uncalled for (it was a neutral answer and I did not know it was an off-limits topic, seeing nephew HAD been in church with her), and refused to talk it out.
My parents demanded to know the real reason. She did not say, and my brother was left to explain.
He said that SIL can’t keep feeling canceled as a mother. That they had asked me to play less with nephew but I did not listen.
That noone can understand the hurt SIL went through when I left and she had to endure her child being sad and angry. My parents did as she asked, but think she is in the wrong, they just need to see their grandkid. My brother hasn’t said those in person to me, hardly keeps in touch anymore, and maintains his wife was right in the ‘preface’ argument. She won’t talk to me. I feel used and discarded. AITJ?”
14. AITJ For Not Wanting My Friend To Announce Her Pregnancy?
“Leah has always been one of those people who always wants to be in the spotlight. This never l bothered me as I am quite an introverted person. Anyways skipping to my birthday. We have been planning this party for a long time as I have been really depressed the past couple years and this was my first big gathering with all my friends and family who were also there to support my recovery.
I was sending out the invites and was really excited. We were ordering in pizzas and KFC which are my two absolute favourites. Anyways I tell everyone in the group-chat that we will be ordering this and everyone is excited but then Leah messages and says she “can’t have that” because she is Vegan.
She then went on to say it was disrespectful that I wasn’t being inclusive to everyone. In private messages she started going on about how it was really rude of me to not have asked before organising food and that I was “discriminating against her being a vegan” so I got really stressed and didn’t know what to do.
I then said I would order her some food separately from a Vegan place and that I would pay and she went quiet.
The day before the party I got a message in the group from her saying “@everyone Can’t wait to catch up with you all this weekend.
I have some exciting news of my own I would like to share!” Confused about this, I message her personally and asked what this was about as I didn’t quite understand as to why she had to announce it on MY birthday.
It also annoyed how she was texting the groupchat as if she was the one who was organising the party. We have quite a lot of mutual friends but at the end of the day it was MY GROUPCHAT and she was treating it like it was some mass gathering for her.
Leah said she was “planning on telling everyone about her pregnancy”. I was shocked. Not only did I feel like she was purposefully trying to ruin my birthday but I was even more hurt she didn’t even ask me first. After all it was MY birthday party..
I told her I did not want her to announce it on my birthday and that I found it really rude of her to not have asked me first. She then went OFF at me and started complaining about how this was her “only opportunity to do it” as “everyone would be there” and the “timing was so perfect” and that I had “ruined her plan” and that I am a”selfish and bad friend” for not being happy for her.
She then said she can do “whatever she wants and I can’t stop her from announcing it” I was too stressed that I sent her a text uninviting her to my party and then blocked her. All day I got calls and texts from her family saying I was “selfish and rude” and that I “was narcissistic” and that I was a “bad friend”. They all basically called me a jerk for uninviting her and for being really “mean” to her too. All these texts made me feel really guilty and like a jerk, so here I am reddit… AlTJ here?”
13. AITJ For Not Wanting My Family To Eat My Food?
“I (21F) reside with my mom (55F) and my sibling (24M). I just recently celebrated my 21st birthday and I went to the store yesterday and got myself a 4 pack of Seagrams and when I got home I put them in the fridge.
I returned home from work today and one of the drinks was missing. I asked my mom if she had taken it and she confirmed that she did. I responded “Okay, that’s fine. But I’d prefer to be asked first.” She took offense and told me that I was mean and that she was going to request more rent from me.
(Just for a little more context about the living situation. My mom hasn’t been employed in 5 years and doesn’t wish to find a job. I cover all of my own expenses and I take care of all the bills except for rent.
My brother also doesn’t have a job as he was recently dismissed from his one-month job due to constant tardiness. So he doesn’t contribute to any bills. Not even his phone bill.)
My mom then told me that it was a jerk move for me to say that to her and she slammed my door.
She came back in a couple more times and didn’t let me try to explain myself once. Then she slammed the door again. I tried to tell her that I wouldn’t have said no. I just wanted to know when my things are being used or borrowed.
I just want a heads up. I think it’s the polite thing to do. And I always ask her and my brother if I can eat or drink or borrow something of theirs before I use it. Neither of them have ever returned the favor.
Not once. This has been happening to me ever since I was a child with most of my family members. They’d always eat my food and drink my beverages and not inform me. And they’d get defensive when I confronted them about it.
I then heard my mom go into my brother’s room and complain about it. So I texted my brother and informed him that I only wanted a notice of my things being taken and that I wouldn’t have said no to her.
And he actually sided with my mom and said that it was selfish of me to tell her that she should ask first. I brought up times where he has told me that I shouldn’t eat something that he bought without asking him first and I never considered that to be selfish.
I just think that we are all adults. If you wouldn’t take your roommate, or coworkers food or drinks or stuff without asking them first, why is it any different with family? And I don’t think that just because they’re family is a good enough excuse for them to take my things.
It may seem like I’m overreacting. But this has happened with more than just my food and drinks. Once my cousin borrowed my favorite headphones without asking me and he broke them by sitting on them. My mom has taken things like my contact solution, hair products, skin products, and my jewelry without asking me. So I’m just frustrated that this continues to happen and I never do that to her.
So, am I the jerk for telling my mom that I’d like to be asked first before she takes my things?”
12. AITJ For Ignoring My Stepdad?
“I (18M) went to live with my parents over the summer to get a job and save expenses before I have to move out again for college.
My stepdad has a bit of an attitude problem. I still don’t know if he does it intentionally, but lately more than ever he treats everyone with a tone as if everyone was wasting his time.
He never seems interested in what any of us have to say, and we learnt to live with that with the excuse of “must be his age” (he’s in his 50s). I’ve usually never had problems with his attitude, he used to be someone I considered close and trustworthy up until a few weeks ago.
Me and my mom were browsing for apartments for me to move into. We had to check every detail and my mom wanted to include SD in the process but he never approached. But, she insisted that we should at least show him the plan we had so far.
So we did, we called him to see what we had, and he gave us his attitude. He didn’t even bother to see our info before he interrupted with “You need to make a budget first”. And we were making a budget, but he kept having this annoyed tone that got higher and higher as I was trying to explain.
He seemed annoyed, and that got ME annoyed, because he wasn’t listening to me. After a while of his reprimands he finally sits down to help make a budget since he was so insistent of it. He kept pointing out how expensive it was and how we were gonna be a few hundred dollars short.
He didn’t contribute anything. He just angrily stated the facts and threw them into my face. I already had water building up in my eyes at this point and he just left without offering a solution. I went to my room to cry, seriously considering quitting college so I wouldn’t be such a burden on my parents, but my mom came later to my room to comfort me.
The next day, I’m still pretty gloomy about last night, as well as trapped in my own thoughts, and it was visible. SD never cared to ask what was wrong, or say sorry for his attitude or making me cry. At first I just wanted to see how long it would last for him to start apologizing, but that never came.
So I just ignored him. I want him to know that my respect towards him has to be earned, and lately he has done nothing to earn it. He just ignored me bad. The tension when both of us were in the same room got my mom very uncomfortable.
Everyone keeps saying that I should be the one to start the conversation, but I know if I do, nothing will change. He’ll still be entitled to treat us like that and think he can get away with it. I still appreciate everything he’s done for me so far, but that won’t earn my respect if he doesn’t show any towards me.
Now I can’t even look at him or be near him because of how angry and sad I am, and this has gone long enough to the point where I’m not sure if I’m being immature by crossing my arms and looking the other way.
11. AITJ For Wanting Details On Land I Inherited?
“My grandmother died in 2020 and always wanted things to be passed on.
Instead, upon her death, my mom and her brother and sister sold the family farm. Then they started cleaning out her house to put on the market ASAP. My uncle found a buyer for the house and on the sales contract he included the woods behind the house too.
Except there’s one issue. They don’t own the woods. I own them with my cousin. It was put in our 2 names decades ago when I was a kid. I knew, per many conversations with my grandmother, that me and my cousin owned what she always described as “lots” behind her house.
But I was being told by my family that I need to be prepared to sign off on some papers for land in my name. I kept asking questions like “How big is it? How much is it worth” and nobody would tell me.
I kept getting vague responses like, “it’s nothing. It’s not that big. It’s not worth anything”. They kept pressuring me to sign off on papers. I always thought my “lot” was a portion of the woods.
I get a call from a law office who is handling the close on the sale of my grandmother’s house + woods.
They are needing my signature to close. I told the law office I wasn’t clear on my land size and value. Immediately the law office sent me pics. I could see how big it was, come to find out my cousin and I owned the entire 2 acres together.
So I refused to sign, I felt misled by my family. When the buyer found out that the woods wouldn’t be included, the deal fell through. Immediately, my mom and aunt and uncle became enraged. It was all my fault.
Since then, my uncle hired a surveyor to split the land in half as I don’t want to sell but my cousin doesn’t want it.
The survey was done in January but I was finishing my grad degree and told him I couldn’t drive the 5 hours to go see the land where the survey was done until I graduated in May as I also work full time.
He became angry and insisted I didn’t need to see the survey stakes, I could trust the survey maps and sign. I refused and hence started hateful emails from my uncle between January until May when I was finally able to go see the survey stakes.
After I went in May, I asked him to mail me the papers. My mom was giddy that I was “ready to sign”, I told her I needed to first review. Within a week of my return from seeing the land, I’m getting threatening calls from my mom and emails from my uncle to sign.
I haven’t even opened the mail that had just come! I told my mom to wait. Once I reviewed it, it made no sense. So I’ve hired a lawyer to look everything over. Because of that, my mom has stopped speaking to me.
They claim everything is my fault and I’m playing games and have been from the beginning when I stalled the sale.
She was supposed to watch my dog for me when I go on vacation soon but has now backed out since I haven’t signed the paperwork, something out of my control as it’s with my lawyer’s office. AITJ?
10. AITJ For Being Honest With My Friend About Her Partner?
“My (36F) friend ‘L’ (38F) has been through a lot in the last few years. It started with her husband announcing he no longer wanted to be married or a father to their child. After the divorce, she relocated across the state with her child to be closer to her family.
A few months later one of L’s parents was diagnosed with a serious illness and they passed shortly after. I knew when L’s parent was diagnosed that her already fragile mental health would deteriorate. I told her to call me day or night if she was struggling and I’d always be there to listen.
L also started seeing ‘R’ (39M) after moving home. R has been an acquaintance for a long time, but I never knew his previous partners. Turns out he manipulates like it’s an Olympic sport. I have made it known how incredibly toxic and damaging I think this relationship is for L.
She actually agrees but continues to see him. They constantly argue and break up, but he says all the right thing’s to get her to come back. This has been going on for a few years now and basically dominates every conversation we have every time we talk.
I try to change the subject but it always goes back to the relationship with R and all the horrible things he’s said and done. It’s hard to be around her at this point.
Over the first year or so that this was happening, I also experienced a significant loss in my own family.
I’ve been grieving, but have also used this as a way to distance myself from L. I had already been pretty checked out anyway after she called me on my birthday to cry about yet another argument with R. I went from trying to see her at least once a week, to barely seeing her once a month.
Here is where I may be the jerk.
Recently I’ve made more of an attempt to see L since I’ve been worried about her. When L was updating me last week she texted me and told me about something hurtful that R did.
It’s the same nonsense as always and I just couldn’t play the supportive friend anymore. I finally gave her an unabridged piece of my mind and told her that R has no regard for her feelings and never will. I flat out asked her why she was willing to lose everything for a guy that has no respect for her.
This was several days ago and she finally responded yesterday saying she needs support, not judgment. She then blocked me on her social media.
Honestly, I feel bad for kicking her when she was down, but I’m not sorry for what I said or for not continuing to support her relationship.
I know I could have been nicer about it, but I let my frustration get the best of me. She’s also done some things in the last year that have made me lose some respect for her. It has made me question our friendship which makes me really sad because we’ve been friends for 20 years. I’m not sure what to do at this point, I worry she really will lose everything over this relationship. I’m also not sure if our friendship can be repaired or if it is worth repairing.”
9. AITJ For Gifting My Niece Shoes?
“So for some back story, I(29f) live at home with my mom(62f), dad(63m), brother(33m), sister(32f) and her two kids (9m) and (12f). I have lived with my niece and nephew their whole lives except for a year that I went to live in another state then I moved back home.
I work two jobs one is a 40 hour a week job and the other is DoorDash, my niece comes with me while I DoorDash because it gets her out of the house so she isn’t cooped up there all day because none of her friends live anywhere near us, but she also had to get her chores done before she could go with me(both her moms rule and mine) and her brother has friends that he hangs out with at their house or ours or on the vr playing gorillatag.
So a few weeks of so my niece was in the living room practicing dance moves that she saw on dance moms and tore her tendons in her ankle and can’t where a shoe on that foot. So two days ago before we went doordashing I told my niece that I didn’t like the fact she was walking around in only one shoe and that she needed a pair of sandals so she could walk around in her brace and not hurt her ankle anymore then she was and that I would buy her a pair when I got off work the next day.
The next day I got off work and went to find my niece some sandals and sent her a bunch of pictures of the selection they had in her size, she picked the ones that she liked and I bought them.
When I got home with them her mom said she couldn’t have them until she finished her chores which was to sweep and mop the kitchen and dining room floor. So my niece asked her mom if she could please move so she could put the chairs upside down on the table so she could clean and get her chores done so she could get her new shoes and so she could go with me last night after dinner.
Her mom who has the weekend off was doing so work at the kitchen table and didn’t want to get up because “her work is more important” her words not mine, told her that she didn’t need to move and that her daughter just wanted her to move.
But to sweep and mop the floor to her moms and her grandma’s standards she needed to move the chairs and the dog bed that was in the corner to fully clean the floor.
My niece asked she twice to please move and that she needed to move the chairs out of her way so she could clean, my sister then got upset and slammed her laptops closed and told her that she is ungrateful and undeserving of the shoes and that she didn’t need them and that I needed to return them.
So I told her no that it was my money and that she couldn’t tell me how I could or could not spend it and to which she said if she sees her daughter wearing the sandals she was going to cut them to were they were unwearable. AITJ?”
8. AITJ For Telling My Co-Worker To Help Out?
” I, (26, M) work for a company that does marketing and advertising. I’m part of a management team, we are the ones who pitch ideas to companies and sign contracts with them to create and put out their ads for a certain number of years.
The cool thing about it is that you get “shares”. I’m not sure how to explain it, but for whatever ad you put out you get a certain amount of the profit that the product makes. But you have to be on the contract for the ad as one of the managers.
The issue is that we get a lot of international work. And most of these companies are a bit skeptical of us and so we like to hire people who are more diverse and speak different languages to show that we understand their culture/country and we have what it takes to work successfully with them.
We used to have one person per language until B came in. She speaks 4 languages fluently excluding English. This means that she’s taking the spots of four employees. Usually, when we get these int. companies we’ll have the person come in and say hello and drop a line or two in the language.
It always softens up the reps and things go smoothly.
Well, B refuses to do this. She says she wasn’t hired for it and that she is not being paid to do it. She only agrees to show face if she is added to the contract as a manager.
This is unfair because that means the extra profit is now having to be split with one extra person who did none of the work. The deal I’m currently working on is offering an estimated $1500/month for me and the other manager on the contract.
But because we needed B in the beginning to soften things, she is now taking a third leaving me and the other manager with less. I tried to talk to my boss but she says if they let B go they’ll have to hire 4 more people to replace her.
None of the other managers do this. They’re very happy to just help but B demands her “cut”
A few weeks ago I heard one of my colleagues begging B to come smooth things over with a client because they had accidentally said the wrong thing and they needed her help with translating.
She said sure as long as she’s added in. The colleague said he was saving for a house and really needed the extra income that he would have to split with B otherwise and B shook her head and said no.
I called her out on it, I said she should be willing to help out because we’re all hustling together and she’s being greedy despite earning extra on about 5 different cases as well as her own but she rolled her eyes and left.
My colleagues are now upset because B is refusing to help anyone. She says she doesn’t want to take any income from anyone else and be greedy so she’s focusing on her own cases. We have lost clients so far because they decided our company wasn’t the right fit. Now everyone is upset with me but I was just trying to point out that she should be willing to help because it’s a part of the job. Was I wrong?”
7. AITJ For Getting My Friend A Great Gift?
“My male friend, “Tom,” has been one of my closest companions since college. We’re in our mid 20’s now and are both currently in committed relationships with long term partners. I have never had feelings for Tom nor has he ever had feelings for me.
Since college, Tom has been a huge watch enthusiast. Two months ago, he was showing me this stunning vintage watch and made an off-handed comment about how he would be overjoyed if he somehow got his hands on one.
Very coincidentally, I was in NYC a few weeks ago and stumbled upon this watch store that just so happened to have the exact one Tom wanted.
It was costly, I won’t lie, at about $2,500, but I decided to get it for his 25th birthday (to me, it was basically fate lol). My partner and I do very well financially so this was something that I could personally afford and wanted to buy for Tom, especially knowing how happy it’d make him.
Tom has a tradition of hosting a dinner party at his place for his birthday and then following that up with cake and gift opening. I told him before the dinner that my gift was a huge surprise and asked if he could save it for last and he agreed.
His partner ends up going first and she gets him this gorgeous sweater that she crocheted for him and a book that he’s been wanting, which I thought was super thoughtful and lovely. Last, it was my gift. When he opened it and saw what it was he literally screamed, hopped over a bunch of people, and squeezed me in this huge bear hug.
I was SO happy to see him happy, it genuinely filled me with so much joy. He even got emotional and I saw him swipe a few tears. He also said that it was the “best gift he’d ever received.” The whole time, his partner was only slightly smiling and stayed quiet.
The next morning, I get a text from his partner that essentially said that although she appreciated my thoughtful gift, she thought that it was a bit out of touch and lacking awareness. She admitted that Tom had also told her about the watch and she wanted to get it for him, but it was way out of her financial reach.
She accused me of knowing this (I had NO idea) and still getting it to rub it in her face and to “outshine” her. She finished by saying how she felt like I had overstepped a boundary by getting the gift and would appreciate me not doing anything similar to it again in the future.
I responded and told her that while I could see her POV, I was just trying to do a nice thing for a close friend of mine. I asked her, wouldn’t you rather he gotten the gift and seen the happiness that it brought him than him not getting it at all? She responded that that happiness was “only shared between [me] and Tom” and no one else and that she felt hurt by my actions.
Only my partner knows about this and he’s on my side. But thinking through it all again, I do see how I could’ve overstepped, but my partner says that it’s not my job to apologize for her insecurities. So AITJ here?”
6. AITJ For Not Wanting To Babysit?
“Our mom recently told me my younger sister is expecting a baby, and how she plans to retire early to help support my sister in caring for the child. Our mother does not have the need to work as I have been providing for her ever since I finished school.
That being said, our mom enjoys her job, which is fantastic. Our mom has always had dreams to travel and when she decided to retire, I planned to support her dream and finance all her traveling. The part that is frustrating me is that mom knew this and asked if I could help support my sister and the baby instead of her.
Our mom said due to me covering for her she has saved up a little nest egg and can support herself with her retirement benefits if she downsizes and wants me to continue paying for the house so the sister has a place to live and grow with her child.
Currently, my sister’s life is a mess, she has no idea who the father is, and has no desire to find out because each of the men she thinks could be the father are already irresponsible dads, so she feels it is not worth the effort.
I told our mom I love my sister but I do not feel you should be forced to live your twilight years caring for another child and should think about yourself for once and do what you have mentioned since we were kids, travel.
Mom goes on to say being with her grandchild will bring her great joy, but this is where I told her you will be raising that child. My sister barely can hold down a job, a relationship, and a place to live.
In what world is she fit to be a mother? That child will become your responsibility, we both know it.
She said maybe with our love and support she can do it, and I got upset. A child is not something you gamble on and her track record shows otherwise.
So I agreed and said let’s have a conversation all of us together to see how she plans to change things around to prepare for the child’s birth and 100% everything she brought up involved someone else stepping up. Child care mom can do it, transportation to doctors, daycare when of age I can do it.
Paying for daycare I can do it. As she said, it takes a village to raise a child.
This is where I told her I refuse to be part of this village, and if mom, you want to go down this road know that I love you but I refuse to be part of it at all and I will cut you off 100%.
Now my entire family is calling me a jerk for leveraging my support against our mom to force my way, but as I explained if our mom was going to just be a grandma sure that is different but in this case she will most likely be the one raising the child.
I love her too much to see her sacrifice even more for us, she raised us on her own, instead of simply thinking solely about herself. This is the time for her to be selfish and not clean up mistakes of her children.
So, am I the jerk in this situation?”
5. AITJ For Ignoring A Guy?
“I recently went on a trip with my friend, organized by my university class. On the first day, a guy from another class approached us and asked if he could join us for lunch. We noticed that everyone else in his class was avoiding him, but we thought he was lonely, so we agreed for him to eat with us.
Immediately it’s clear why his classmates ignore him: he seems to be unaware of most social cues and has uncommon hobbies. However, I try to be nice to him. My friend, on the other hand, keeps being rude to him and acts very bothered by his presence.
The trip goes on and the guy keeps staring at us from afar, tries to interact with us, despite us clearly showing we want to be by ourselves. He asks both me and my friend for our contact details, to go out for a social gathering later that night.
We say no. However, he waits until I am alone, and corners me asking again for my contact details. I give in since professors are close by and I don’t want to cause a scene. Maybe this is where I made a mistake.
Throughout the day he starts complimenting me, specifically my physical appearance. I do not engage with him. Then he starts complaining that I never speak, that still he knows nothing about me. Professors jump in on that agreeing that I am extra quiet.
I admit I am sensitive about this topic, so I start becoming extra uncomfortable. This constant bother continues, with him complaining that I am not speaking enough, that I am not smiling etcetera.
I was already uncomfortable at this point. I make a joke to my friend: I see a bed displayed in a shop window, saying I was so tired I would gladly go sleep there.
The guy chimes in, commenting that lots of people would surely pay to look at me. My friend scolds him for being a creep and he plays dumb.
Later that night we go to dinner and this guy of course sits in front of me.
My friend sits next to me, but with her back directed towards me throughout the whole dinner, so I am forced to interact with this guy, while professors keep teasing me because I am so quiet. My friend even encourages the guy to keep talking to me, despite me previously telling her I was very uncomfortable.
In the end the guy asks me to go out together. I refuse, saying I am very busy (at this point I was panicking and I was so stupid not to say I am in a relationship or that I am not interested).
He keeps insisting and I keep rejecting him.
Finally, the dinner ends, and I am very upset both at him and at my friend for not helping me at all through this uncomfortable situation. The first day we are all back home, he texts me “how are you”.
Of course I don’t reply, since I am still bothered. My friend however tells me I was being too harsh on him.
AITJ? I feel like I gave him so many signals that I was not interested and he actively chose to ignore them. On the other side maybe I was not clear enough on not being interested in him.”
4. AITJ For Not Forgiving My Sister?
“For years I’ve (37F) thought I was in the right but after rehashing this again over the weekend with my family I’m unsure.
Context: 10 years ago I was seeing this guy (now 39M) briefly and during this time I fell head over heels for him.
He was my dream guy, handsome, funny, and had a good career as a lawyer. One day we met up to talk per his request and I was ecstatic as I thought he was going to ask me to be his significant other.
However, he explained he thought we should stop seeing each other as we were looking for different things. Me, a husband, and him something casual. He was only staying in my town for a few months to handle his family’s business’ legal issues and then back to work in NY.
I was absolutely gutted.
A month later my sister (now 34F) had graduated law school and came home for a few weeks before heading to live in NY. My sister and I had never been close so she had no idea of my heartbreak and I was unaware that she had met my ex while out one day.
It wasn’t until I heard her talking on the phone with a friend describing a very familiar guy I put it all together. Once I learned this I confronted her and it turned out she had no idea me and him were seeing each other.
Naturally, she was upset at him but when confronted it turned out he also had no idea we were sisters since she never talked about our family, we have very different features, and different last names.
After finding this out they decided to just get over it since me and him we never really serious.
He asked her to be his significant other and they decided to continue their relationship in NY. You could just tell by looking at them together they were crazy about each other. Once again, I felt absolutely gutted. This is what our big argument was about.
I feel my sister betrayed me and broke girl/sister code by continuing to be with him after everything. She should’ve had my back whether or not we’re close. She felt that I was taking a three week courtship too serious and that I should’ve given her a pass in this situation as she had no idea.
At the time most of the family took my side except for my mom who remained neutral.
Years later now my family only knows what’s going on in my sister’s life through my mom’s updates which my sister allowed. Turns out she married that guy, they have 2 kids together, and are still practicing law in their respective fields.
In the latest update we received this weekend it turns out my sister is pregnant again and she told my mom they agreed this is their last one. Once my family heard this they lost their mind. They want to be in her life now, meet her family, and connect with her during this pregnancy since its her last.
They want me to apologize for making a big deal out of nothing but I refused. However now I am thinking it over and maybe it’s time to get over this entire situation as my sister and my ex did a decade ago.
Am I a jerk after all this time? Was I the jerk to even begin the argument?”
3. AITJ For Being Upset With My Cousin?
“So let’s put this into perspective, ever since I can remember my cousin let’s call her B always had to be center of attention, and I mean ALWAYS, even if it was a holiday or a birthday of someone else, you get the point.
I always had to go along with it and could never speak bad about her because then she would cry crocodile tears and then I was the bad person. I remember one time she had her birthday and her mom hired this company where they bring dresses and stuff so you can be a princess.
Well she singled me out her and my sister and her friends all went to her room and locked me out. I started crying but I was told to stop crying and basically get over it.
Another example, her mom was nice enough to throw me my sweet 16 birthday party at her house.
It was nice, I had never really had a lot of birthday planned for me. I truly appreciated my aunt for that. Well you can guess B decided she had to sing some songs and turn the attention to her, every gift I opened she had to rebuttal with, “oh I got that a while ago” or oh I have one but it’s nicer, or bigger or whatever.
The next time was when I planned my own 20th birthday party at a park. I invited my aunt and family and out of kindness B. She showed up an hour late with her wasted partner at the time. I was infuriated by this saying to her, really you brought your intoxicated partner? And yes you guessed it she cried, I HAD TO APOLOGIZE.
The kicker for me was when she told the whole family that I stole something of hers (which I didn’t) and of course they believe B because how could she lie??? I was disowned for a while because of it and they didn’t even ask me my side.
Now let’s skip forward to the recent years. I now live in another state, me and her sort of talked after a death in the family but not much, she messaged me asking if she could call me. I wish I had recorded the conversation, we talked about life and how everything was going.
B then proceeded to tell me that she was sorry for all the lies, I went dead quiet and I stated (What) she told me how she lied about me stealing and lied about other things that I didn’t even know she told people.
And get this her excuse I WANTED GRANDMA’S LOVE………um you made my life a living nightmare with all the things you told her. Me and my grandmother always had a rocky relationship mainly because B AND MY sister were 2 perfect girls, I was always pushed to the side and the outcast.
I don’t know the other things she told the family but I did voice how she needed to tell grandma about this and make it right. But of course you know B didn’t. I did tell my sister but she seemed to just ignore it.
I don’t know what else to do, my grandmother is up there in age and she never reaches out to me or talks to me, I hate that even through all the bad stuff I’m still fighting for her love and attention. AITJ for wanting to tell her in person if I see her again?”
2. AITJ For Not Listening To My Dad?
“I am a young guy (25m) and a few years ago I bought a property that has two small houses on it.
I was really fortunate to buy when I did because prices had not skyrocketed yet. But I worked three jobs for a down payment, so I was proud at 21 to buy a house.
Some time after buying my property I decided that it would be better to rent both my houses to make money and help my mental health by moving back in with my parents.
About a 1.5 ago one of the renters moved to another state.
I was left with this house that needed some repair before it could be rented again, so four months ago I took on the role of repairing my house (this is a 1 bed, 1 bath). I remodeled the whole house.
This done all by myself and a lot of money was spent make this place really nice.
My house is located about 15 minutes from the beach, and before renting it I decided to do some research on rent prices. I found an apartment complex, about 5-10 minutes further from the beach, renting 1 bd, 1 bth apartments for $1620/mo.
This apartment complex has a pool (good for 3 mo. a yr) and a clubhouse for events. A little further away, another apartment complex is offering 1 bd, 1 bth apartments for $1599/mo w/o a pool, just a clubhouse.
It has come time to rent this house and I asked my Dad what he recommends I rent it for and he said $800 to $900/mo.
I was frustrated. My Dad is already a difficult person to deal with, but I wanted to clear things up.
So, in the evening I brought up my concerns saying, “I would like to see what you are seeing that I am not to come up with $800/mo.
I saw these other places that are renting for (the above).” He told me that those places accept Section 8 vouchers, which is why they charge more… (?) I said, l’ll accept Section 8, and he responded not with his real estate firm and my house wouldn’t qualify for anyway.
I then told him in even tone that I would not be renting my house for $800/mo and that’s when he became angry.
He told me that he was going to rent the house for what is fair, and fair is $800/mo and if not, he would not be managing my property and that I could find another property manager.
I calmly responded, “Okay, I will find another property manager.” He was livid. And stated telling, “this is what you wanted all along.” Then he demanded money I owe him, which I don’t know what he is referring to but I responded, “Okay, send me the bill” (this when I had not received last two months of rent).
And then he told me he wants me out of his house, which I was and am leaving in a month. I then calmly said, “this is why I didn’t want to bring this up to you. You treat me like your son, not your client.” But he continued his tirade. We have not talked since, which leads me here.
Am I being greedy? AITJ for following the law of supply and demand and trying to rent my house for current market value?”
1. AITJ For Yelling At My Daughter?
“I 45F and my daughter 19F were sitting down going through the picture books that my cousin had brought to my house. The pictures showed me from baby all the way till 17. I thought it would be nice to share with my daughter and my husband.
During elementary school I had gained an eating disorder due to extreme bullying. In return I went from a skinny 9 year old to being an obese 10 year old. My mother never tried to help me out, no sports, no helping me eat healthier just constantly telling me I’d get diabetes.
Obviously that just made it worse. So I blew up. So basically I became the weird fat kid, didn’t help that I had adhd. When I got to highschool I took more care of myself and also embraced being punk. I also developed a bit so I became curvy.
I started going out and getting compliments. After high school I lost the weight due to wanting to become a state trooper.
Anyway fast forward to now my daughter went from calling my pictures cute and adorable to chuckling. I asked what was so funny, expecting her to say how nerdy I looked.
Nope. She straight out said “I can’t believe you used to look like that” I asked what she meant by that and all she said was that “the glow up was real.” I got a bit upset and asked her if she was calling child me ugly.
She still in a joking tone she said of course she was. She said I got lucky that I started looking better in high school and lost the weight because if not she could not imagine someone like my dad marrying me.
My husband was just sitting there in disbelief. He tried to speak up but I blew up. I told her I couldn’t believe an adult was fat shaming a child let alone her own mother. I told her that she was a terrible person for what she said and told her she was just like those kids in school who bullied me.
I told her I must have failed as a parent if she thought that this was appropriate to say to someone, especially her mom. I told her she was grounded until further notice.
My daughter started crying and ran to her room.
My husband after I calmed down a bit told me he understood that what she said was wrong but I shouldn’t have spoken to her like that and that I should apologize for that. I told him what should she get an apology for.
He said that what happened to me was in the past and this is now. I told him to leave me alone and went to my friend’s house. She took my side, mostly because we’ve been friends since high school and we were both fat growing up.
I’ve never spoken to my daughter like that and I have never heard of my daughter being a bully. Though if she thought that was okay to say I cannot imagine what she says when I’m not around. Though my mother used to say things to purposely hurt me and I felt like my mother at that moment. Now I feel terrible and think I might just give in and apologize. Am I the jerk?”