People Enumerate Their Modest Revenge Stories
44. Can You Hold This Gum For Me?
“When I was a young, poor university student, I traveled on the tram where an old couple was sitting and a young mother with her 6-7 year-old daughter opposite to them. The child was very bad and was kicking the old lady all the time to the shin, it was visibly painful for the lady. She was moving her legs to left and right, but the bad young girl was kicking her, again and again, no matter where she tried to move.
After some time, her husband noticed it and asked the mother politely: ‘Please try to calm down your daughter to stop kicking my wife!’
Mother suddenly becomes furious and starts yelling at the old couple: ‘She is raised in Montessori education, so she can do whatever she wants to do! Nobody will ever tell her what she can do and what she can’t!’
The whole tram was silent in shock.
When I was leaving the tram one stop later, I took my chewed chewing gum and carefully rubbed it into the bad girl’s long hair. Her mother yelled at me: ‘What in the world are you doing?! Now I have to cut her hair totally! Are you mad?!’
‘Madam. Do not yell at me! I have a Montessori education, I can do whatever I want to do and nobody will ever tell me what I can do and what I cannot do!’ I replied. The tram was still laughing when I left.”
43. I Secretly Moved The Car And Surprised My Dad
“My father was an authoritarian man. Not a bad man by any measure, but he was incredibly strict and his word was law. When he barked out an order, he expected to be obeyed. But in his older age, he got crotchety, like a lot of elderly people do.
Anyhow, there was this one time we went to the U.S. to visit relatives. Since I was a grown man and my dad was seventy, I had taken over many of his previous responsibilities, such as driving and carrying heavy stuff.
But my father still, on occasion, wanted to act like the Big Bad Boss-Man and order me about.
We had just gotten back from shopping, and I parked the car in my Uncle and Aunt’s driveway to get our purchases out of the car and into the house by the shortest route. My parents had gone to their room, and I got everything out and put it out of the way, and then I thought: ‘I’d better move the car, or my Uncle won’t be able to park in his spot’.
So, I moved our car and parked it by the street curb. That’s what a responsible person would do.
So, after having made sure that the car wasn’t in anybody’s way and our purchases had been stowed away, I sat down on the couch and went back to the book I was reading. Not one minute later, my dad came in and barked at me: ‘Go move the car!’
All I could think of at the moment was that I, who was almost thirty at the time, was being yelled at as if I were a thirteen-year-old boy who didn’t know his butt from a hole in the ground by a grumpy old man who couldn’t stand to see anyone enjoy himself.
Since I knew that there was no point in getting angry or even explaining to my father that I was a grown man with initiative who knew what to do and when to do it without being told, I decided to have a little fun. Moreover, I did not care for his tone of voice.
I answered: ‘What for?’
‘Because your Uncle won’t be able to park in his spot!’
‘Dad’, I replied, ‘My Uncle will be able to park without any difficulty.’
‘Go move the car!!!’
‘Dad’, I said patiently, ‘there is no need to move the car…’
‘GO MOVE THE CAR!!!’
‘Dad, I’m telling you, the car is fine where it is… there is no need to move it…’
This is when my dad blew a head gasket.
He grabbed the keys, and headed for the door mumbling something under his breath about me having no respect for him and that he had to do everything himself. At the same time, my mother and aunt (my father’s sister) came into the living room from the kitchen. I whispered to them: ‘Mom… Auntie… Check this out… Look at what’s gonna happen…’ Just a second later, my dad, still mumbling, reached the door, opened it wide, and stopped cold in his tracks, shocked into silence.
He finally saw that I had already moved the car.
My aunt and I had a very good laugh. My mother, having no sense of humor, could only ask: ‘Why do you have to make your father so angry?’ My father, who took the prank in good nature, came to me and asked with a little bit more humility, ‘Son… why didn’t you just tell that you had already moved the car…?’
‘Well, dad… you didn’t ASK me if I had moved the car… You told me to go move it and I told you that there was no need…’
‘Oh…’ mumbled my father as he smiled and walked away…”
42. I Made The Bitter Divorcee Deliver Flowers To My Fiancee
“Back when my now fiancée and I were first going out she texted me from work pretty upset. Apparently, she had come in the morning after I had taken her out and one of her coworkers started giving her trouble. When she saw how happy my fiance was she said in front of everyone ‘you’re just happy cuz you got it on last night. Enjoy it while it lasts.
He’ll leave soon.’ She had previously told me about how this woman was a middle-aged divorcee who hated seeing other people happy.
She also told me she was glad she didn’t have to deal with her at lunch because she mans the front desk while the receptionist takes a break. So I sent a very big bouquet of flowers with a very sappy card to my fiance and paid extra to ensure it was delivered while this coworker was at the desk to sign for them. Even had them only put her name on the inside of the card, ensuring this woman had to open and read it.
Not only did my fiance get a nice reminder of how wrong the coworker was but the grouch had to hand-deliver the flowers to her while the same group who heard her give my fiance trouble now got to watch her do it.”
41. I Have To Wear My Hair In A Bun? I'll Just Chop It Off Then
“When I was in the fire academy, the women’s dress code said that hair had to be worn in a neat bun. I had layered, shoulder-length hair so it was was difficult to keep it up neatly all day long. The shorter pieces would stick out of the bun, or fall out around my face, and my bangs weren’t long enough to pin back without using an entire bottle of hairspray.
Most of my instructors were understanding and said that as long as my hair was up and my mask could seal to my face they would consider me to be in dress code. But there was one instructor who said there was no excuse. ‘We’re a paramilitary type school, so dress code is extremely important.’ She acknowledged that it wasn’t a safety issue, but told me I had to follow it anyway, and that doing my best wasn’t good enough.
She wrote me up three times, and then called me in for a meeting to inform me that another write-up for the same issue would get me expelled from the program.
I looked into the dress code and saw that the men’s hair code was much more lenient. It just said that hair must not touch the collar of the shirt or the tops of the ears.
So the night after that meeting I went to a hair place and told the stylist to do whatever she wanted to my hair as long as it fit those requirements. She was stoked and gave me a really cute pixie cut.
The next day the same instructor tried to write me up, but since I was technically in dress code she couldn’t.
The next semester there was a man with long hair who wore it in a bun instead of cutting it, and the following semester the dress code was rewritten to be gender-neutral.”
40. I Sat The Green Light And Made Him Late
“A few weeks ago I was riding my motorcycle and some halfwit in too much of a hurry couldn’t wait for a gap in the next lane and decided to make my lane a double passing so close he nearly knocked me off. We were approaching a red light with a nice long line of cars in both lanes. Not to be deterred Capt. importance decided that the empty emergency lane was a much better option and picked that route instead of placing him on the start line so to speak.
Not really appreciating this jerk’s impatience or nearly being clipped payback was well in order. I happily split the other lanes riding easily to the front of the traffic then moved to the front of the emergency lane. Seconds later when the green light appeared I just sat and waited, and waited, and waited. Once all the other traffic had moved past me I rode quietly ahead leaving my friend well at the back of the line of traffic he’d been trying to get past and then some. Job done.”
39. Called Out A Guy For Being Racist
“One of the unexpected things about playing golf is that you get paired with a very diverse group of players (it’s far from the moneyed elite on the public courses that I play) and I’ve played with some very interesting people from all walks of life.
Not in this case, though – while the older gentleman we were playing with was a good enough golfer, he had a generally sour attitude – though not enough to spoil our round.
The real issue came about rather late in the day when we passed by a house adjoining the course with a gathering and barbecue in their backyard. Our playing partner muttered something about ‘those people’ and how they should ‘go back home’ to where they came from.
Purely coincidentally we had just been talking about my job as the online developer at the local newspaper and the challenges we’re facing as we transition from print to web.
I took his cue and segued into mentioning how difficult it was to moderate our comments section. I pointed out that any time an article is published that includes an individual with a Hispanic surname that the racists and ignorami would come out of the woodwork to complain about how our country is being ‘stolen’ from us by ‘them.’
At which point our playing partner steps away to the tee to hit his drive and my buddy leans in to quietly ask ‘Do you realize that you just called that guy a racist to his face?’ To which I responded, ‘… and?’
Pleasantly, the gentleman kept rather quiet for the rest of the round.”
38. I Hope You Have A Good Sleep
“I was traveling from York to Cardiff, a journey of just over four hours. It was late. It had been a long day and I just wanted to relax, so I sat in the quiet zone of the train. The conductor came down and I heard him say to someone, ‘Change at Bristol Parkway. This train goes on to Bristol Temple Meads but there won’t be any trains to Cardiff there tonight, so make sure you change at Bristol Parkway.’ He then said the same to me after checking my ticket.
The person to who he said it to first, after the conductor left the carriage, put on some headphones and turned them up all the way. It was so loud I could hear it from half a carriage away. Another guy asked him to turn them down, which he did, but he turned them up again a few minutes later. I couldn’t get to sleep, and this was the quiet zone, so I asked him to turn them down (they were so loud he must have caused damage to his hearing: I could hear every goddamn lyric of his awful taste in music).
This pattern continued every fifteen minutes or so for about an hour, by which time I gave up. I just grumbled to myself and waited for Bristol Parkway, which took about another two hours.
When we got there, the conductor announced on the speaker something like ‘Change at Bristol Parkway for services to Wales and the Westcountry’ (it was pretty late – approaching midnight). I got off the train and stood on the platform, only to see the idiot with the headphones fast asleep through the window.
He was meant to change at Bristol Parkway also. I could have easily gone back on the train and woken him up – it waited on the platform for several minutes – but instead, I watched him sleeping until the train departed for its next stop, Bristol Temple Meads, where the service terminated. There were no more trains to Cardiff that night, apart from the one which I was about to get on at Parkway, and a taxi would have cost him about £100, which is what you get for disturbing me in the quiet zone.”
37. I Thought You Liked A Good Bass Line?
“Many years ago I lived next door to a couple who had a love of very loud reggae music. I should add that I’m not averse to reggae, I like it myself so the music itself wasn’t the issue. The issue was the level of bass that they used. Way too much. Pictures falling off the walls, really really heavy.
We were friendly so I laughingly asked if they would reduce the bass line somewhat, not the volume, that was fine.
They didn’t. I asked again, less laughingly, they didn’t.
This went on for several months. Until the point where I was due to go on a long weekend away to attend a wedding.
That Friday night I loaded up a Black Sabbath CD. I set it to replay. I raised the volume to full. I turned the bass line to full. I turned the speakers to their bedroom wall. I went down and left the house.
I returned on Monday to some puce-colored neighbors, complaining loudly about the distress that it had caused them. I smiled sweetly and said ‘oh, I thought you liked a good bass line.’
Never had that issue again.”
36. The Joker Got Reported To HR
“In my 20s, I moved from entirely rural life to a large city. I hadn’t finished high school, but I had worked in art departments for several newspapers and had fairly good skills. I was hired into an art department because the owner liked my last name. My surname is that of a small northern city where the owner met and married his wife. There were five of us in that art department feeding work to a large printing department.
Things were fine until we got a new art director.
He made jokes about my clothing, my hair, and my lack of style. He made anti-semitic jokes because one of us was Jewish. Her parents had both been in concentration camps and bore tattoos. The best artist was aloof, so he made brain teaser jokes about him. One guy had high anxiety, so the art director would increase the artists’ stress for the fun of it.
Later we all moved on. I worked for a publisher when the art director arrived for an interview for a responsible position. He was perfect for that job. I looked around at the multicultural makeup of my coworkers and made a decision.
I made an appointment with the owner and HR and told them about this guy. I recall holding my own hands because they were trembling during that conversation.
I was there at the end of the hall when that art director dropped by to see if they had made a decision. The company declined to hire him. He had to pass me to leave. After a moment he recognized me. I said nothing. ‘Damn,’ was all he said.”
35. We Learned Fine On Our Own, No Need To Rally
“I was in a college course with a particularly tough professor. She was the type who might be nice outside the campus but in the classroom, it was clear she’d get consumed by the power. HER opinion was always right and if anyone disagreed, they’d pay the price (a classmate’s beliefs were insulted and when she spoke up, my prof kicked her out for the day).
Also, she judged people and used her opinions of them for grading. Example? My friend, cousin, and I wrote a paper on the same topic and used the same quotes, only changing up the tone/style to match our own. I got a C+ with notes on how I need more examples, my cousin got a C- with a message on ‘consistency issues’ and my friend got an A- with a ‘good job’.
Of course, said prof had tenure so getting rid of her would be near impossible. With the class being required, I couldn’t leave and had a torture session 2 days a week.
Near the end of the year, there was a protest scheduled on campus and my prof decided to take us there to demonstrate how we should stand up against bad leaders. Also, the end of each semester meant each class getting a form to critique the professor; with rules stating the professor could not even be on the same floor as the students answering the form.
Everyone was DONE. We decided there was to be no mercy on this woman and the university couldn’t ignore all of us if we said the same thing. So we all marked down negative answers. Granted most were true (we did get unreasonable workloads, we did not have respect at times, grading was unclear & unfair) but some aspects that even she followed, we said she didn’t.
Some classmates went above and beyond by attaching notes inside the form sheets with written examples of what happened throughout the semester. I wrote my piece but it was pretty calm compared to the rage in the others.
We all knew that in between protest time and form filling, we’d get endless lectures on something she was super opinionated about. So everyone took their time SLOWLY filling out the form.
The prof looked so mad every few minutes she came to check in on us. The icing on the cake? My cousin ended up late for class (traffic) just as we stalled out as long as we could. She knew what we were up to and followed suit.
But that’s not the end of it.
The professor led the group outside the building. Only half of the class made it to the site.
My cousin took her own stand right after the class started to go. She and several others left last so they could sneak out. A few others slowly began to sneak away.
I witnessed the protest (cross off the ol’ bucket list) with my friend. Then the professor, almost oblivious to students missing, led us back to the class.
However, I overheard a tip from one of the protest leaders that there was an after-party close by.
And they had triple fudge brownies.
I followed the professor for a minute. Then I grabbed my friend and dashed off to the party. We stuffed ourselves with free brownies, nachos, and fruit punch while we talked to other students. Later, I heard only 5 of the 38 students made it back to the classroom and my professor ended up canceling the ‘after discussion’ (aka opinionated rant).
We only had one more session with her and it was the final test. I had a C in that class; not what I feel I earned but I passed.
The next semester I overheard the prof’s name. Turns out, she was no longer allowed to teach that specific course. Also, the number of classes she usually taught was sliced in half while the board said they’re going to keep an eye on her from now on.
Prof wanted us to learn how to take a stand at that rally; to combat unfair behavior. I say we learned fine on our own.”
34. I Tried To Fool My Grandma But She Fooled Me
“As an adult, I traveled to my Grandma’s (Mom’s mom) house for Christmas. Adults were expected to bring our own Christmas stockings, but Grandma (and a couple of helpers, I think) would fill up everyone’s stockings (chocolate, socks, etc.) on Christmas Eve.
Well, since we were responsible for bringing our own, I found a very large stocking. While maybe I’m partially hoping this will result in lots of chocolate, I also just like making jokes, and I found it to be a funny thing to do.
Christmas morning, I woke up and checked my stocking, and it was full: with a 25-pound bag of charcoal. Can’t say I didn’t deserve it!”
33. He Thinks He Knows A Lot About My Past
“I am an Indo-Canadian, who immigrated with his family back in 2001. Coming from a middle-class background, and an Army brat as well, I was fortunate to be educated in Catholic schools throughout my schooling in India. I was provided the best of facilities at all the schools that I had attended and had an excellent command of English due to the Catholic presence in my schools.
Coming into Canada, I never expected that I would be a subject of the stereotypes that some westerners had about India and Indians.
So, I come to Canada in Grade 11 and get enrolled in Grade 11 right off the bat due to my fluent English and my grades in India.
On my first day in Grade 11 English class, I sit behind a guy who is Canadian born with an Egyptian background.
Him: So, where are you from?
Me: India, and you?
Him: Oh, I was born here but my parents are from Egypt. Say, this all must be really weird for you eh?
Me: What do you mean?
Him: Well, all these desks and chairs, and the blackboard and being taught in English
Me: Um, not really, no. We have desks and chairs and all that jazz in India. I am not sure where you are getting your information from.
Him: Oh, that’s strange. Well, I was watching these documentaries on the Discovery Channel, and they showed you guys sitting on the ground in the school and nobody speaks English.
Me (trying to control myself from being defensive but smiling): Well, don’t judge a whole country because you saw something on the Television. If we all did that, then I bet you that your parents must have brought some Mummy’s curse when they moved to Canada… but that didn’t happen, did it?
Him: (Taken aback and visibly embarrassed)
Understandably, he never asked me about my Indian past. Ironically, he now works with the federal government, with an Indian born-and-brought up as his boss.”
32. Keep Your Cassette Volume Down
“Back in the 1990s, I worked downtown and took a second job four nights a week at a psychology school. I sat by myself in a room for four hours and simply collected faxes and put them in the proper offices after making copies. There were other campuses and so I waited for the last faxes to come in from Hawaii. 5 PM there, 9 PM here.
I had a little hand-held cassette recorder and always brought a few cassettes to play.
Afterward, I’d walk to the elevated train and head home. One night, a young guy was playing rap music on a big radio. People were seated close to him, most looked at him but ignored him.
I set my backpack down and looked for my Big Steve and his Polish Stevedores cassette and flipped it in the holder.
Then I stood up and started playing polka music as loud as I could, standing as close to the kid as I could, otherwise I couldn’t drown out his music.
I’m half-Polish and Big Steve didn’t just play the standards like ‘Beer Barrel Polka’ and ‘Money Polka’, he was like the Bruce Springsteen of polka. Do you know how Springsteen will go nuts with the guitar? Well, Big Steve would wail on his accordion for minutes at a time.
Everybody near us watched. The guy was the first to shut off his music. He got up, looking to walk through the door to the next car. People were already starting to clap. I stayed behind him, the polka music low, and said to him ‘I’ll just follow you. Me and Big Steve. That’s him playing.’
The guy turned around and got off the train at the next stop. I was a minor hero on the Orange Line that winter night. Things like this never make the news.”
31. The Story Of The Jacket Dillemma
“So, I’m working as the Distribution Mgr. for a publisher of training manuals and we shipped them around the world – had for years.
One day the phone rings with a Canadian Customs officer and he explains ‘that our product is not correctly marked for its origins etc., and I will have to do all these different things immediately to correct the problem and when would we be up to do that at the border so he could release the materials?’
The books were computer training manuals: the error was we did not have ‘Printed in the USA’ on the manual jacket.
They were each shrink-wrapped singly and then in bundles of 5. So his plan of correcting the jacket on each manual would have been very problematic for me (opening the stretch film, applying a small ‘Printed in USA’ label, taping it back up, and leaving them looking shoddy).
So I very politely thank him for alerting me to the challenge and that we will work with our primary printer to fix the jacket covers to include that information and we’ll get that done going forward, but for now I have about 100K of books packaged and marked like that now and I will print up the labels and they will be applied to the outside of the 5 pack on the outside of the stretch film until we work through the rest of the less than optimally marked ones.
He says: ‘No I didn’t say that’, and begins to reiterate when I say; ‘I know, I know, but you’re going to let this work because we’ve been doing it this way for over five years now and I won’t tell your boss you missed it for that long.’
Silence for a second and he laughs and says ‘OK, Works for me!'”
30. Take My Seat? I'll Be Sure To Take It Back
“A few years back, I was flying from Florida to NJ. I am a parent, and have flown with my child on occasion, and did my utmost to not inconvenience other passengers. On this flight I was solo, and when I went to take my seat, found it occupied by a mother with two children. Not merely occupied. They had spread out with toys and juice boxes, clearly there for the duration.
‘We couldn’t get seats together… I am sure you don’t mind!’ she said.
I would have been gracious if I had in fact been asked. I was annoyed at being set up. So I took the aisle seat and said with a smile ‘I booked a window seat because the aisle ones make me airsick.’ She smiled at me, rather smugly.
Five minutes after taking off, I started making gagging noises in my throat.
Then I reached for the airsick bag. For the next 40 minutes, I would periodically gag. She finally decided to offer me my seat.
‘Oh, I wouldn’t think of it! That would be unspeakably rude.’ More gagging. Turns out Ms. Mom had boarded early and shared with the folks around us that as a mom, she never bothered booking the seats together… because people just ‘had to understand’. A few of them figured out what I was up to, and found it all hilarious.”
29. We Stole The Extension Cords And Had Peaceful Days Since
“I was living in a room in an apartment above a restaurant in Cambridge, MA. One of the rooms in the apartment opened up, so I had my little brother, an undergraduate in electrical engineering, come move in with me.
We had a third roommate, we were all ‘tenants at will,’ there was no lease, and this guy was just a professional victim. He was always contacting the landlord about this or that problem, but our rent was so low, so I always preferred to just fix the problems myself by replacing things that broke with identical units, because I didn’t want the landlord to raise the rent.
This difficult roommate’s family lived a little west in the beautiful town of Newton, and I could tell that what this person wanted was freedom from living with his family, but he had nothing on the line— if he is evicted, he goes and stays back at home in Newton, just down the street. If I get evicted, my little brother and I head over to the Salvation Army in Central Square until we can find a new place.
In any case— this guy was difficult to live with. I was usually out at work in the Longwood Medical Area, but my little brother (college student with a loose schedule) let me know that the third roommate was usually home and cooking in the kitchen, or playing music very loudly.
Personally, none of that mattered to me. I just needed to microwave a little bowl of Campbell’s soup for dinner every night at ~8:00 pm, otherwise, I got my food at the hospital cafeteria.
What mattered to me was, at this time, I was doing a lot of early-morning Guinea Pig blood draws to support ongoing scientific studies. This procedure is a bit difficult, as you need to draw a relatively large volume of blood via the vena cava — which is a large vein that rests right next to the heart.
Any mistake during a blood draw and you will strike the heart or other vasculature.
The Guinea Pig will have cardiac tamponade, and there is no way to know this had happened until the Guinea Pig is found and sent for necropsy. What follows is paperwork. I’ve only made this mistake once and I felt awful for it.
The point is, I had a lot of stress regarding this, but this guy would play Call of Duty (the video game) all night long.
I spoke to him about it, he stopped for a night, and then he just continued again.
As this continued, my patience ran thin. Passive aggressively, since he wouldn’t be respectful, I would switch off the circuit breaker to his room, shutting off all of his electronics. I would stand by the breaker for him to come out and then just say ‘whoops, I think something happened with the breaker.’ He was a bit odd and didn’t want any trouble, so he would just go back into his room, wait for me to go back to bed, and then turn the breaker back on.
Cue Call of Duty explosions and noise all over again.
Then, finally, we get a letter. Indeed, it’s a rent increase. The issue was that it was still, from my perspective, below-market.
I indicated to the third roommate that I was interested in accepting the new rent, and I would cover my little brother as well. The third roommate, though, told me he intended to NOT accept the rent increase and to call his attorney instead.
I spoke with him a few times to reconsider, but he didn’t care — what’s the worst that could happen for him? He goes back to Newton?
So I had to start making moves. We had one month. I found a new place— a 1 bedroom apartment, my brother and I could partition the apartment appropriately so we would both have a room, and our own kitchen.
I had some money saved, so I put funds on the apartment ASAP, and my brother and I slowly began to move our belongings there.
August 21st, and my brother and I had moved everything to our new place without telling the third roommate at all. We went into our old apartment for the last time, collected all the extension cords that powered everything in the kitchen, all the while we heard music and Call of Duty blasting from this guy’s room.
With all the extension cords in a plastic bag, essentially rendering most of the equipment in the kitchen useless, my brother left the apartment. I went over to the circuit breaker outside my old room, flipped the breaker to the guy’s room. I heard the music and Call of Duty noise stop abruptly.
I turned, left the apartment, locked the door behind me, took the train to my new apartment with my little brother, and slept like a baby that night.”
28. Threaten Me Over The Phone? Let Me Read Your Bio Data
“I used to work in a call center for a major health insurance company. A guy called in to complain about a bill he received. He went to a provider who was out of network, so he had to pay more. I got the feeling that he really didn’t know, so I was willing to waive the charge which was something we were encouraged to do at least once a day for a member.
We never broadcasted this for obvious reasons, so it usually came as a welcomed surprise to our members.
Before I could tell the guy what I was going to do, he asked me for my name again. As soon as I said it, he went crazy. He started talking about coming down to the building to get rid of me and went into great detail about how I’d never see it coming.
As he was going on about his plans to murder me, I deleted the request to waive the fee. He eventually stopped talking. I guess he was waiting for a response. I calmly started reading all of the information from his membership application I’d pulled up on my screen:
Names, birthdays, social security numbers, heights, and weights of him, his wife, and their kids. His employer’s name, address, and supervisor’s contact info. I also read off his mom’s name, address, and phone number since she was listed as a reference.
He hung up.”
27. Don't Want Me To Help? Watch Our Performance Tank
“So I started a new job about two years ago & finally found a job I’m naturally good at which has been amazing as my performance has been top-notch, no disciplinary actions and even a few awards.
So I started helping out my fellow co-workers when they were struggling & especially helping out the newbies who just got off training. Which is garbage generic training for 3 weeks which has literally nothing to do with our sector & we’re literally told to forget everything we learned because it does not apply to us.
So naturally, the newbies struggle a lot at the start & that tanks the performance of the entire team.
So I wanted to be a good team player now that I finally felt like I knew what I was doing, apparently, that was a mistake on my part. After 3 months of helping my team, I was called into a meeting with our coach to discuss my ‘ behavior.’ And I was told that I was not allowed to help my co-workers because I am not trained in that field, and only the higher-ups are supposed to answer questions & make decisions within our job.
Which would be fine and understandable if the coach was available for the entire 8h shift to answer questions and help people, which they are not. I pointed this out along with some statistics that since I started helping out answering questions our performance has gone up each month & it helps the newbies feel welcomed as they have a non-superior they can ask stupid questions too without worry.
Another mistake on my part, our coach got really really angry and I was basically told that this is how it is, and if I’m caught giving ‘UNSANCTIONED HELP’ again I will receive disciplinary action.
Okay fine, have it your way then you sad pathetic excuse of a human. I screenshotted the conversation, dug up performance reports prior to me helping, during me helping & for the next 3 months without me helping.
And wow shocker we started tanking in our performance! Gasp how could this have happened???
So the entire team got called into a big meeting with the higher higher-ups, our manager, and coach to discuss what is going on and why we’re doing so bad. I let everyone speak and say their piece and at the end of the meeting, I just asked if I could have 5 minutes of one of the big chiefs’ time as I think I might have a solution to help improve our performance! And he was actually surprisingly interested so he called me up after the meeting to hear me out & I told him about the whole situation, showed screenshots, performance results, the whole 9 yards!
My dude was visibly shook, a bit lost for words tbh, but said he really appreciated the input and would look into fixing this ‘internally’ and that was that!
3 days later our coach ‘resigned in search for greener pastures.'”
26. This Chocolate Is The Symbol Of Our Friendship
“When I was in elementary school, we moved, and for a time I was struggling, had no friends, and was having trouble making friends. I thought I had made friends with a girl who moved in a couple of houses away. However, after a little while, she told me that while she was willing to be friends with me, she didn’t want to be seen with me or have anyone know we were friends.
I found this really hurtful.
About that time we were covering Australia in class and the teacher showed us a film about aboriginal people eating insects and brought some chocolate-covered insects to class. I thought this was very cool and tried one (not bad, like a crunchy raisin-ette). I had by this time made friends with another new girl who, like me, was ‘on the outs’. We had to attend a birthday party for the 1st girl I mentioned.
Together we found out where we could get chocolate-covered insects (a nice small assortment, in a small plastic box) and I gave these to her (unlabeled) and didn’t happen to mention what they were. I figured this was the perfect symbol really about what a great ‘friend’ she was. Her reaction after she ate one and asked what they were was beyond priceless (I didn’t think this was all that bad, but DID she FREAK OUT, and in front of everyone).
Given that I knew by this time she was of course saying bad things about me with her ‘cool’ group of friends, it’s not like it hurt me anymore when she ranted and cried or even when her mother dressed me down calling me the worst things. It was especially great for me because in her freaking out, she revealed just how mean and spiteful she really was. It was one of the very few times in my life this ever worked out. Mostly I have found this kind of thing is not worth it (better to just move on), but this is still a fond memory all these years later.”
25. Don't Like The Conversation? Feel Free To Leave
“I had had a really bad day at work and was in a foul mood. I had to leave a few minutes early because my husband was out of town and I had to get my children (perhaps 8 and 11 at the time) to two different activities that were far apart. My daughter had a half-hour lesson almost right away, but my son was going to be at ball practice for three hours and needed to eat beforehand.
The solution was McDonald’s.
There was a birthday party for very young children in a separate, but not enclosed area and our only choice was to sit near it. The party was noisy in a ‘kids are having fun’ way and not in a ‘kids are being wild’ way. I was actually starting to feel better listening to the chatter of younger children and thinking of my own children’s parties when two older women sat immediately behind us and started complaining about all the commotion.
They were loud and mean. My mood went right back to sour.
Just as I was about to turn around and say, ‘If you don’t like to dine next to a children’s birthday party, don’t come to McDonald’s at 5:15,’ my daughter announced that she had finally gotten to start dissecting her lizard that day. The vocalization behind us was somewhere between a gasp and choking. As an interested parent, I started asking my daughter questions about the dissection and her younger brother had several graphic questions of his own.
My daughter was pleased to tell us everything she knew. Of course, the women turned their complaining away from the party and to us, but we were oblivious to the inappropriateness of our dinner topic. (I think the kids really were.)
It was too bad that we couldn’t stay until we drove THEM away, but we had appointments to make. As we left, I smiled at them and said I hoped they would have a nice evening. And I laughed to myself every time I thought of how they had inadvertently lifted my mood. I do wonder if they ever ate at McDonald’s again.”
24. Don't Follow Our Schedule? Take A Cold Shower
“My senior year in college I was living off-campus in an apartment with 3 other roommates where we shared a bathroom.
There were 4 single rooms, 2 rooms on the first floor and 2 on the second floor. I was on the second floor and every time I came downstairs in the morning, no matter what time, my roommate ‘Pip’, not his real name, on the first floor would sprint out of his room and beat me to the shower.
If this was not aggravating enough he would always manage to use up all the hot water leaving me to take a cold shower.
I would always confront him and would just say it was just by chance he happened to beat me to the shower. Of course, I would never believe him. One night, while out drinking with my other roommates, I was told how ‘Pip’ laughed about how he always waited to hear me coming down the stairs before sprinting to the shower.
This was war! The next day I came down the stairs as quiet as a mouse and when I opened the bathroom door there was ‘Pip’ just opening his bedroom door. I took an extra long shower, making sure to use up all the hot water for my roommate’s lesson.
When he did take a shower, after me, he complained about how there was no hot water. Poor poor ‘Pip’ had to take a cold shower. I explained to ‘Pip’ I KNEW what he had done all along and we set up a schedule that he followed thereafter.”
23. Complaining Lady Got Reported
“When my daughter was about 6 years old we were living in an apartment. It was a two-story unit sharing a wall with a neighbor, a grumpy old lady who stayed up late and slept during the day. We tried to respect her schedule and be as quiet as possible, but due to the building’s design, a simple act of walking up and down the stairs in our unit makes quite a lot of noise.
Needless to say, a 6 y.o kid spent quite a bit of time running up and down the stairs between her room and the living room.
The old lady was furious and regularly complained about the noise. She complained to the apartment management a few times and I was becoming worried that we could get expelled. One day, when she was particularly upset, she left a note at our door.
A very nasty note using a curse word and more. That was her mistake.
It must be said that the apartment was trying to attract young middle-class professionals and trying to present themselves as upscale housing compared to others in the neighborhood. The next day, I put on my business suit and a tie and strolled into the apartment management office. I showed them the note and very politely expressed my surprise at the kind of people they were renting to.
I said I was shocked by the language and glad my daughter had not found the note. I said I was considering moving out and basically made them feel like they were running a trailer park, not an expensive apartment complex. They were apologetic and talked to the old hag who stopped complaining after this incident. I got a new job and had to move out a few months later anyway.”
22. An Elevator Encounter Made Her Go Away
“After I had worked for the bank for about five years, I made the decision to transfer to our affiliated investment firm which had offices in the same building. The senior broker’s reputation with her past assistants was poor at best, but I stupidly thought it would be different with me. The first 18 months were great. I earned my Series 7 license and became the broker’s right hand.
One day I discovered that in my role in scheduling her appointments, which required that I have access to her Outlook calendar, I somehow also had access to her email. I had never asked for access and didn’t need or want it. I reported the issue to her and Technology. When it was addressed, technology found that an entire group of assistants who had been hired within a specific time frame all had been mistakenly granted access to their brokers’ email, so reporting my issue allowed them to correct it for everyone.
Somehow, though, in her mind, I had purposely snooped through her emails and she firmly believed that I routinely read them even after the issue was corrected. I think she had her email set up so that she had a reading pane in her inbox, and had set it so that every time a preview was visible, it marked the email as having been read. Tech-savvy she was not, so she concluded that I was the one reading them.
Of course, I had no reason to do that, and every reason not to.
Things deteriorated rapidly after that. When she told me that I was being investigated for reading her emails, I simply told her that I didn’t care because there was nothing to find. I immediately applied for a transfer back to the bank. She tried to block my transfer by claiming that I had a disciplinary action in my personnel file which would have made me ineligible.
The bank’s HR manager made short work of that by talking to the HR manager of the investment affiliate and confirming that there was no record of disciplinary action at all. I got my transfer.
This broker never spoke to me again unless I called her on the phone to refer a customer, even though we ended up being officed directly across from each other. I, on the other hand, made every effort to speak to her just to watch her squirm.
If we found ourselves in the same hallway, I made a conscious effort to make small talk. She would say nothing.
We met at an exit door one day when I was entering and she was leaving, so I pulled the door wide and gestured for her to go first while asking cheerfully, ‘How are you today? It’s a hot one out there!’ She said nothing. We met one day as we both rounded the same interior corner from opposite directions.
‘Oh my gosh!’ I exclaimed. ‘Excuse me! That was close!’ She said nothing.
My all-time favorite encounter happened one morning as we both entered the building from opposite sides. She practically ran to the elevator and reached it before I did. These elevators were old and the doors began to close the second you pressed a floor button. She entered the car, whirled around, and began repeatedly jabbing the floor button with her keys, trying to get the door to close before I got there.
I had a great angle and a clear view of all of this and was working hard not to laugh at her desperate attempt to avoid me. Unfortunately for her, I was too close and managed to stick my hand between the doors with just inches to spare, and succeeded in forcing them to open. I stepped on the elevator and said, ‘Whew! I barely made it in time!’ and looked at her with a satisfied smile on my face. She said – you guessed it – nothing.
She eventually moved to another location and my fun ended. I never felt guilty about any of this after the way she treated me. I still don’t. In fact, I’m quite sure that I’ll never regret any of it.”
21. I Tried To Encourage Him On His Birthday
“I was 22. My friend, Kevin, was 19. The crew chief was 40 and it was his birthday. He had a crew of almost 20 guys unloading office furniture from a semi-truck in the middle of the night and setting it up to be ready the next morning. The crew chief loved being in charge, bossing everyone around, and particularly loved verbally abusing Kevin for no good reason.
We were in a long line, moving desks down the hall loaded with four-wheel dollies and the boss was ripping into my friend for the umpteenth time that night. I decided to shout some encouragement to Kevin so that everyone can hear it, ‘Don’t take it personally, Kevin. If you’re 40 years old and still moving desks in the middle of the night on your birthday, you are going to be in a bad mood, too’. The whole line started laughing and the boss’s face turned red as he tried to explain between expletives how I (and my friend Kevin) didn’t know what success was and would never amount to anything. He was right. I never succeeded in the furniture moving business and had to settle for IT.”
20. Cutting The Paper Is A Huge Help
“The lady manager hated my guts simply because she thought I was in a church. It’s weird because I never even mentioned anything about religion. I grew up in a church, but haven’t gone to the church for years at that point, and my view on religion vs non-religion is fairly close to an agnostic than anything… so she based her view on me on assumptions from sources that I have no idea about.
But then again, even if I was part of a church, her behavior would still not be justified. It’s kind of besides the point, but just a background story to sort of give you the idea about how she draws conclusions without much thought.
I am fairly quiet and fairly easygoing and like to get work done efficiently, and I never had any trouble in other workplaces.
While she treated all her other coworkers nicely, telling them jokes, listening to their inputs, and treating them like a friend she would be incredibly curt, standoffish, and occasionally burst into long angry ridiculously condescending rants throwing in assumptions about my family and personality into the mix. Mind you, I never said anything to purposely make her feel this way (I hardly said anything at all), but it was as if she listened to everything with the intent of twisting it into something to be angry about.
At some point, we had paper to wrap some of the ceramic gift products that we sold in the store. The paper was excessively big and hard to use for the products, so another young coworker courteously cut it and folded it into a size that was easier to use. A different older coworker (the manager’s sidekick who also liked making big deals out of nothing) made a long note (thinking I was the one who did it) with the gist of it saying, ‘Don’t cut the paper.
We don’t have time to be doing that and it is not necessary.’ Mind you, this store hardly ever had customers, so we have plenty of downtimes to cut it if one wanted to…
At one point after seeing the note, I mentioned it to the manager when I was alone with her and I made a comment saying, ‘Is it okay if I cut some of the paper? It’s a bit easier for some of us to use.
If some of the other people here don’t want it that way, I can even leave some of it uncut.’ I thought my statement was pretty reasonable enough, but she instead went on an angry tirade saying that I don’t try hard enough to comply with what everybody else thinks and my view on the matter is incredibly ridiculous. And she went on and on like a crazy ferocious fire-breathing beast.
That is all I can say because I have never seen anybody get so angry over something so small.
I never mentioned it again, and a few days passed and again the other young worker who initially cut the paper did it again for us to use (probably out of boredom with nothing else to do), but this time nobody left a note or seemed to notice.
When it was my shift and I had a customer who bought ceramic items, I wrapped them with the cut paper.
The manager was there at the time and surprisingly made a nice comment by saying, ‘oh you wrap the items so neatly and quickly!’
And I told her after, ‘Yes, it’s really easy to wrap it neatly and quickly when the paper is cut.’
She didn’t say anything, but I saw her expression change before walking away.
Yes, it is an INCREDIBLY petty ordeal that didn’t even need to happen in the first place. But man, did it feel good to see her prove my point out of her own mouth after all the ridiculous yelling she did over it.
She kept her temper in check more often after that.”
19. Abusive Manager Gets Huge Problem With The System
“At the start of my software engineering career (decades ago) I was given the task to advise another engineer on how to use the interfaces for our operating system to write a device driver. This was about 6 months before the release. After a couple of months, I advised my manager that this other engineer was ignoring my advice and dodging calls. I told them that though the engineer knew the device inside and out, he was flailing on writing the driver for our system.
My manager told me to not worry. After many versions of the driver, all of which crashed our system, with about three weeks to go before it had to be released, my manager assigned me the task of rewriting the driver.
After two weeks of working weekends and nights, with my manager constantly checking my progress and trying to pressure me to work faster, I told my manager I had the driver done on a Friday afternoon.
Because of the tight schedule, he asked me to do a code review with a senior engineer. That senior engineer pointed out a couple of good changes to make, but also one that I knew was wrong and told him.
Late in the day, my manager asked me how the code review went and I told him that there were a couple of good suggestions I had implemented and they worked great.
I also told him that one of the suggestions was bad and would cause a system crash. His response was ‘make that change’. I said I knew it would crash the system and tried to explain why. He got exceptionally angry and told me he didn’t care and that the other guy knew more than I did (which admittedly he did). Then he said, ‘don’t go home until you’ve made the change’.
I was very annoyed by the manager’s attitude. I had already been putting in long hours over the last couple of weeks to recover from his bad decision to rely on an engineer whom I had told him was not going to succeed. So, I stayed late making the change and running tests. Sure enough, the system crashed. So, I went home and enjoyed my weekend.
On Monday morning, my manager came to me with a growling attitude and asked if I had made the change the reviewer suggested. I said ‘yes’. He asked how it worked out. I told him ‘the system crashed as I had predicted.’ He asked if I had worked over the weekend to fix it. I told him ‘no, I just did what you told me to do and then enjoyed my weekend.’ His face turned bright red and he started to yell at me to make it work.
I told him that I had already removed the change and scheduled time on the test system to rerun the tests. If looks could kill, I would have been dead. I got some satisfaction at the time paying him back for his bad decisions and trashy attitude.
The postscript to that story is that a bug was discovered in the driver after it was released. The bug was related to the problem the senior engineer had suspected existed, but for which he suggested an incorrect fix. My passive-aggressive action in response to the rude and abusive treatment of my manager ultimately resulted in a bad experience for our users. The silver lining is the experience taught me to be careful to avoid being pushed into and pushing others into malicious compliance.”
18. I Compared Her To Her Father
“I grew up with a really mean, dominating extended family. My aunts and uncles and cousins from my dad’s side of the family were all incredibly lofty and thought themselves very wonderful. My dad was the black sheep of the family who chose not to participate in most of those family vacations and get-togethers. My parents did their best to shield us from that negative atmosphere (without causing any tension or animosity) and taught us to treat everyone with decency and respect.
Unfortunately, as I entered my teens, there was one female cousin who was incredibly competitive and would get increasingly rude and mean to me as the years went on. Her parents were split up due to infidelity on her dad’s part, she’d had a rough time with it, to begin with, but my sympathy soon disappeared as I saw how she would manipulate both parents to get exactly what she wanted.
As we both approached our twenties, I struggled with her on a weekly basis. She would make snide remarks about my younger siblings, on my thighs and calves as I wasn’t a double 0 like she was, make fun of my parents and belittle any form of success I had. Anything I had, she had to have too. Whether it was a new pair of shoes or a job offer or a new friend.
While I talked about her to my parents and tried to understand her negative feelings toward me, I never said a bad word about her to anyone else and always tried to give her the benefit of the doubt. It was exhausting and depressing. It felt like I could never be happy or have any decent friends without her ruining it.
When I was 19 I got my first serious relationship.
Once we split up she beelined for him. Since the relationship was over, I didn’t allow it to bother me too much, but it seemed like a jerk move for her to make. She strung him along for a year before breaking his heart. Two years later I met a guy who I thought was the love of my life. I went out with him for years before his behavior started to get weird and distant.
I soon found out that he was two-timing me with her and that she had approached him 6 months into our relationship. They were talking and meeting up in secret for months and I had no clue.
I split up with him and was heartbroken. I attempted to confront her about it. Most people feel shame when confronted with things like this, but not her. She couldn’t have been more proud of herself.
She said I was too uptight, that it wasn’t her fault he was attracted to her more than me.
As the months wore on, I struggled to recover, I lost loads of weight, felt very alone, and struggled to trust the people around me.
One evening, 3 months after everything came to light, we went over to my grandparents for a family get-together. She smugly spoke to my other cousins about how happy she was with my ex and I had to leave the room twice in order to collect myself and avoid bursting into tears.
At the dinner table, I was asked by my grandpa if I was seeing anyone new. Before I could answer my cousin spoke up;
‘Oh, she’s probably going to have a hard time finding a guy better than her last one. Thanks for the hand-me-down btw…’ and she winked at me across the table. It got awkwardly quiet.
Something inside me snapped, and it just came out without me even thinking.
‘You know Eleanor, you are a lot more like your father than I first thought.’
The table went dead quiet. Her face flushed red with shock, she was mortified.
It was a low move for me to compare her to her unfaithful father. It’s a moment I look back on and struggle with at times because I knew I was better than that. That comment was beneath me, and as I felt the pleasant rush of revenge, it sickened me to know I was capable of such hurtful words.
But as I saw my words sink in, I knew they would change her forever, in both good and bad ways.
I feel sorry for her, in a genuine, gut-wrenching kind of way. I have mixed feelings about what I said to her that day and often I wonder if I could have done more without stooping to such a level.
But something I learned through that experience is that turning the other cheek sometimes doesn’t get you anywhere, sometimes letting things slide time and time again doesn’t inspire others to treat you with the same kindness and patience.
Sometimes you do need to hit back, and sometimes it needs to be a hard smack to the face.
She never talked to me again after that. I don’t think she hates me, but rather, she can’t speak to me out of shame. After years of thinking she was God’s gift to men, she was pulled off her pedestal and made to see just how selfish she had been and how lonely she was in life.
To add insult to injury, my ex ended up two-timing her with someone else… and I fell in love with a man who would never look at another woman but me. I moved on with my life, and it took her years to finally find herself.
These days she is much better, and happier. I hold no resentment towards her, but I don’t miss her presence in my life.”
17. I Avenged The Boy By Giving Him Change
“I was traveling in a train from Delhi to Lucknow (both are capital cities in India). There were still a couple of minutes for the train to leave the station. A boy (aged 10 I think) boarded for selling newspapers.
Although child labor is a crime still some unfortunate souls have to go through it in our country.
Anyway moving forward, 3 middle-aged men discussing the political system, cricket, foreign policy, and whatnot were sitting in the same compartment, called the boy, and took a newspaper.
When asked about payment, to my utter shock the leader of the group (a well-built man in his 40s) slapped the boy and started abusing him.
At once I thought someone would object to it and respond to the big guy but not a single person in the compartment showed any interest in what just happened. I couldn’t take it… my first thought was to get up and punch the guy straight in the face.
But somehow I held myself back, called the boy, gave him some change which was probably thrice the value of that newspaper, and asked the boy to leave. The big guy took it as an insult and started grumbling with his other friends. I just gave him a continuous look in the eye and stared him down. By this time other passengers were also curious about the event and started talking about their hooligan behavior, the poor boy, what is right and what is wrong, etc etc.
Those men left the compartment within 5 minutes. I just smiled, closed my eyes, and turned on my headphones.”
16. He Called Me Out For Cleaning The Cardboard
“I have a coworker who is often rude and insubordinate, and as it happens he also does many passive-aggressive things.
If he is unhappy with you for whatever reason, he will do things like leaving his used latex gloves laying around in our shared workspace, essentially forcing other people to clean up after him or ignore the litter.
One day he had a confrontation with a woman who works in another department.
He subsequently decided to leave a very large piece of cardboard on top of one of her display cases at work. It looked stupid and trashy. It was certainly unprofessional.
Rather than confronting him, I just waited until he wasn’t looking and disposed of the cardboard.
He walked around smugly for hours, surely thinking the lady in the other department had to clean up after him.
At the end of the day, after I had already clocked out, grabbed my bag, and was leaving for the day I told him, ‘When you leave cardboard on top of Lady’s display, you make our entire department look bad.
Stop being a child.’
And then I left and enjoyed my two days off.
When I came back to work THREE DAYS LATER the first thing he said to me was: ‘You cleaned up that watermelon bin lid that I left on top of the case?!!?!?!’
Him: ‘I left that for LADY to clean up. Why would you do that?! You know I was mad at her.’
Me: ‘I don’t care.
If you want to do things that make YOU look bad and unprofessional, go right ahead. But don’t do things that make the rest of the department look like morons.’
Him: ‘I can’t believe you. You have no loyalty. I’m not talking to you anymore.’
And I got to enjoy 10 whole days of peace and quiet before he got bored of not subjecting me to his narcissistic tendencies.”
15. I Invited The Security To My Son's Birthday
“We were celebrating my son’s third birthday party at my residence. We had invited our close friends and all the kids were having a great time. The music was a bit loud and we had different games for the children and the grown-ups like musical chairs, paper dancing, etc.
Suddenly I hear someone knocking at my door and when I opened the door I saw 2 guys from the security team of my society.
They were yelling at me as I was disturbing the neighborhood with high noise levels and asked me to stop the party. Looks like one of my neighbors complained to the security about the noise levels.
I tried to reason with them but in vain and as I was about to lose the argument, I suddenly out of nowhere gave both of them a tight hug and told them that it’s my son’s birthday and why don’t you guys come inside and have the cake. I called them inside, gave them cake and snacks, and they went back with a broad smile.”
14. Badmouth Me? The Boss Will Make You Shut Up
“I was in a conference call in my boss’s office. There was my boss and a fellow senior systems analyst/friend in that office. Our company had been purchased in recent months by another company. Our office had a big IT department and operated on VAX computers. The company that had purchased us had this one guy who was a fanatical IBM mainframe zealot — everything except for IBM mainframes sucked, in his eyes.
Also, he had this rotten temperament, and really had no comprehension about how the software in our office worked or about anything in particular other than IBM mainframes. I’m not even sure he understood the business that we were in.
Anyway, there was something really irking him that day, and I really can’t recall what it was, except that he went into the endless rant about how we were all incompetent, how our software didn’t work, how our programmers sucked, our computer systems sucked, everyone in our company sucked.
Or something to that effect.
Anyway, my boss was trying to interrupt him to correct at least one of his many misunderstandings. But every time my boss tried to say something, he’d go off on another rant, interrupting him. None of us could get a word in edgewise, none of us could calm him down so that we could rebut what he was saying. After this rant had gone on for at least 5 or 10 minutes, my boss turned completely red, and instead of raising his voice and yelling (as I know some of my previous bosses would have done), he simply left the room.
So there we were me and my friend/co-worker, listening to this seemingly endless rant. After maybe another 10 minutes, the guy says (addressing my boss by name), ‘So what do you have to say about that?’
My friend and I just looked at each other, and then I finally said, ‘Umm… he’s not here — he left the room about 10 minutes ago.’ The guy just hung up in frustration.
Eventually, my boss came back and asked ‘Is he done yet?’
My favorite similar encounter with this guy — he was badmouthing me and the way I was going about dealing with something having to do with nightly processing or interest rates, or something similar and the guy was just criticizing everything that I was doing. In the middle of yet another rant by him, I heard HIS boss chime in on another line of the conference call, saying that everything I was doing was correct, that that was the only way to do whatever it was I was doing (the details aren’t important, not that I remember any of them).
Essentially, his boss told him to shut up.
Fortunately, I didn’t have to deal with that guy very often, and he did leave eventually (not sure if it was voluntary or not, though).
On a side note, that boss, who had hired me 10 years earlier for what I consider to be my dream job — well he eventually moved on to another company, and then he recruited me to work there as well.
He was a great guy, and he fostered this environment that made everyone feel more like family. Well, I’m talking about him because he passed away just recently from cancer. Even though I hadn’t talked to him or seen him in about 10 years or so, I have this feeling of loss. I knew his family — I was at his son’s wedding. I just wanted to mention that.”
13. Stop Throwing Diapers On My Lawn
“I live in a quiet part of London, on a road of semi-detached houses. On one side is a great neighbor – almost as close a family. On the other side is a not too bad neighbor – we have no issues with them, but not really close either. They’re kind of neutral. All three families in these houses are of the same ethnic background.
What happened? Diapers happened.
One morning early in the new year, I saw a dirty nappy on our back lawn. Eh? How did it get there? We assumed an animal had dragged it there. Not sure why it would do that. I got rid of it but had my suspicions. Since it wasn’t a brand we used, I knew it wasn’t from my house.
A few days later, another one. This time, I noticed they had an odd way of extracting trash from the house – instead of collecting in a small bin inside the house and then taking it out to the wheelie bin, they were leaning out of the upper story window, and dropping it straight to the ground to be dealt with later.
Hmmm, was this the source of the flying diaper?
I threw that one back over the wall, to their garden. (The neutral family I mentioned earlier)
A few weeks later, again on the front lawn. Another diaper. This time, I had to put a stop to it. My dad was in the hospital, my baby daughter was keeping us awake at all hours. Enough is going on without dealing with other people’s diaper litterbug habits.
I walked over and dropped this one on the porch, with a note: ‘I have enough diapers, fresh and soiled, of my own thanks’.
Ten minutes later one of their family comes back and vaguely says something about maybe it got over the wall by accident. (You’d have to have a really bad aim when you’re throwing trash out of your window and it keeps ending up next door, quite a good distance too, like 4 meters).
Well, that put a stop to it for a while. Except for a few more months later on, and another one. I made sure it landed on the bonnet of their car when I returned it via airmail. My mum raised it with their mum, who said she had already jolly well shouted at all those with diaper-wearing kids, and warned them to stop it, embarrassing as it is.
They claimed this one must be from random strangers throwing litter in from the street (really? It hadn’t been a problem for 20 years. My street is very quiet, and rarely used as a through route). And animals? Animals open food bags. They can smell the diaper and would leave it alone. Why would they want to drag diapers around the garden?
Anyway, they’ve totally stopped now. Even the open-window-garbage-disposal system. We’re still cordial, and we even return their kid’s garden toys that stray over the fence. I’m glad I didn’t end up having to report them, as I’d been ready to do if I see another diaper on my lawn.”
12. Petty Woman Got Shut Down By The Escort
“I worked as an admissions clerk for a juvenile detention facility. My desk had a high counter in front so my information on youth could be protected. I had to check the visitors’ IDs and scan them with a metal detector, also enforce the rules such as no hats, no booze allowed in. The visits were allowed once a week for 2 hours. The rules and hours were sent to the families and posted on the top of the counter where they signed in.
After being checked in, I would alert the staff by radio to come escort families to the visitation area in the unit to which I also controlled the lobby and unit doors with a switch to the magnetic locks. Once the visitation started nearly all staff were observing the visits to ensure no contraband was being slipped in. It was hard to get an escort after without a significant wait.
Ironically, a woman and her partner arrived to see her son 45 mins late. I explained there might be a wait but we’d get them back asap. I scanned them with the detector they signed and I asked for their ID. The woman said she didn’t have hers. (?) I showed the sign and desk info saying no visitation without ID. She said, ‘You expect me to go back to the car and look for an ID? You are wasting time on my visit!’ I told her she couldn’t go back without it.
She argued that I was stupid and the guy with her could tell me she was the boy’s mother. I apologized and said please go get your ID if you have it. She turned around and said, ‘buzz the GOD door!!!!’ I buzzed the front door’s magnetic lock and as she exited she said I was a stupid witch. She returned from the 75-foot walk, I buzzed her in and when she got to the counter she tossed the ID so that it launched off of the counter, bounced off of my face then chest, and landed on the desk in front of me.
I breathed in deeply and nicely said, thank you, now have a seat.
By now an hour had passed. She sat in the lobby with her partner quietly as did I at my desk. I continued working answering phones and doing paperwork. A half-hour later she probably caught on that I hadn’t radioed for her to be escorted. She came up to the desk and said, when are they coming to escort me back!!?? I responded, oh just a minute we are short on escorts.
Then I waited another 5–7 mins to request her escort. When the unit person arrived he rescanned her and her partner. She piped in about how she had to wait too long and wasn’t going to get a decent visitation in a very rude manner with him as well. Ah, but the burly 6′5” 275 lb unit guy in his powerful voice sternly said, ‘Ma’am, I understand your frustration but if you are going to come on this unit agitating our staff and youth I will not take you back.’ Ah, the beautiful sound of no retort and silence then the escort said, ‘buzz us in.’ Once that door closed it took a lot for me to not die laughing at her being shut down.”
11. I Showed Him How True I Am To My Word
“In the 10th grade, during art class, a student was sitting across from me at a large table and was being really annoying. He wasn’t a bully per se, but a ‘popular’ kid who was a bit of a jerk sometimes. He kept poking me with a meterstick from across the table when I was concentrating on my work. I told him to stop multiple times and he kinda laughed in an ‘it’s just a joke’ sort of way.
I, being correctly known as a passive, non-confrontational guy, finally got so annoyed that I said ‘I swear to God, if you poke me with that meterstick one more time, I’m going to snap it in half.’ He just kinda laughed, knowing I probably wouldn’t do it. To be honest, he was right. I kinda said it in a moment of anger, and not as a legitimate threat.
A few moments later, he poked me again and I grabbed ahold of the meterstick and while we were playing tug-of-war with it, it actually snapped in half. He finally lets go of his piece, a little surprised, and I get up, take both pieces and place the broken halves in the bin with the rest of the meter sticks.
The teacher never noticed it, but I felt pretty good about it. He didn’t poke me anymore after that.”
10. Spam Me With Emails? I'll Do The Same
“Around 2008 I was job hunting using Monster.com. I’d used it in the past and it was a great resource, but in 2008 there were a lot of multi-level marketing (pyramid) schemes running the show on that site. I’d receive an email a day from the same company with the generic name of Sterling whose job description was dead on a multi-level marketing scheme. I’d never actually applied for any of their listed positions, but I had left my profile on public and that’s how they had gotten my contact information.
I simply switched the profile to private.
But the emails didn’t stop and they were all sent by a guy named Gary. At first, it didn’t bother me because I’d just delete them, but at some point, it started getting on my nerves, so I replied to Gary to ask to be taken off the list and that I wasn’t interested in the position. It was a nicely worded, polite email, but for another week I kept getting the emails.
So I sent another email asking to be removed. It was also ignored. Finally, I sent a message to the customer service team at Monster.com and they responded saying they’d make sure I didn’t receive any more mail from Sterling.
The emails stopped for about 3 days then I started getting them again, but now I was getting 2-3 and sometimes more than that a day. I sent another email to Gary at Sterling asking politely to be removed from their mailing list but was ignored.
I still received the emails.
I forwarded a screenshot of my email inbox to show the customer service at monster.com that the number and frequency of emails I was receiving were making me feel harassed. They apologized and said they were sending the issue to management. Some three days later I was still getting the emails from Sterling and had become impatient waiting for a response with a course of action from management.
I lived in VT and there was a snowstorm, so I was stuck indoors with nothing to do. Heh heh heh.
I constructed a simple email that said, ‘STOP EMAILING ME.’ I copied and pasted it and spent an hour and a half sending email after email with this note to Gary at Sterling until I got the response that the email inbox was full. This was a Friday evening, so his email was full all weekend long.
Even if some naïve person actually responded to Gary for any of the job postings at Sterling, he wouldn’t be able to get any of those emails. I had a glorious shut-in weekend.
So then on Monday, I got a response from Gary at Sterling that was atrocious. He scolded me for passing up an opportunity when I ‘should be happy to get any job offered,’ and that he was ‘a successful man who was trying to help me’ and that I was ‘an irresponsible girl who would never amount to anything.’ I laughed when I received it because really that’s all I could do. I was shocked I think. I forwarded it to monster.com customer service. Eventually, they responded saying it had been taken care of and I didn’t receive any more emails from Gary at Sterling. Kind of a dud ending, but I was satisfied.”
9. Can't Be Patient? Hopefully This Will Teach You
“Witnessed this the other day. I was in pets at home (UK) just buying some dog poo bags. It was the only thing I needed. There was one staff member on the till serving a customer who had a mountain of items. They were taking ages as there was so much stuff. I was next in the queue, and there was one person behind me. Another staff member walked past with stock in their hands, clearly busy when the woman behind me decided to pipe up
‘Excuse me can you open up another till? This is ridiculous how long it’s taking, I need to be at work!’
The staff member kinda rolled her eyes but went on another till and called out for who was next, me! Our conversation went like this
Staff: Is this everything?
Me: Yes that’s all, thanks.
Staff: Do you have a membership card?
Me: I do but not with me.
Staff: That’s fine, I can find you on the system.
Staff member then proceeds very slowly to take my postcode, check names, etc. You could hear the woman tutting when the details didn’t match. I had to apologize to the staff member that the membership was in my wife’s name. She had to search again and I had to give the right details that time… What a shame!
Just as she was about to finish my transaction the customer in front of me finished and the jerk got served by the other cashier. The staff member with me looked around, saw her getting served then signed off the till apologizing for my wait.
Well done that girl, screw the rude jerk.”
8. We Had To Suffer A Series Of Farts Before He Took Action
“I was on a flight with my wife. We were on the absolutely last seat. There was another family of 3 sitting diagonally across from us.
The aisle seat in our row was empty. This has happened very few times for us and I was excited about traveling comfortably for the 6-hour flight! But the father of this other family notices the empty seat and even before the flight takes off, comes to sit right next to us in that empty aisle seat.
(As soon as the door lock announcement was made).
I was understandably upset. Maybe his wife told him to park his butt next to us so she and the kid are more comfortable.
Just so that you know I am not being a jerk to a family with a kid, it was a kid and not a baby… 10 – 12 years old at the minimum.
Anyways I am upset and annoyed…
But I decide to forget about it and move on…
Then a minute later… I smell something nasty… It was a goddamn fart! In an airplane on the last middle seat with the fans not working… We were suffering …
It was the longest-lasting fart smell of my life… After about 10 minutes after the dust (smell) from the first fart settled… There was another strong whiff of the same smell…
This time I heard the fart too… This happened a few more times and I lost it…
When it happened next, I picked up the safety card from the front pocket and started waving it like a fan around my face… It gave intermittent relief from the strongest fart smell of my life…
People around me were also pretty fed up and followed my lead of using the safety card as a face fan…
I looked at him while doing that… Oh yes, I did… After the 100th fart…
At this point, he was pretty embarrassed… Finally!
He gets up… Gets his lazy butt to the restroom… Comes back and sits next to his wife and the farting is further and less… And the remaining 5 hours of our flight were heaven compared to the first one!!”
7. I Found A Way To Stop The Yelling And Hitting
“I was visiting my aunt for summer holidays and she lived on the 2nd floor in an apartment complex. One pleasant afternoon when I was in a food coma, lying down blissfully and watching TV I heard a commotion outside. Curious, I went out to investigate the source of noise – Turns out there was a domestic fight going on between a husband and wife and the husband was being really aggressive and hitting the wife.
They were fighting right beside our building and I was watching from upstairs.
Now, I was not used to this kind of behavior and didn’t like all the hitting and yelling. I am peace-loving and tend to avoid confrontations as much as possible.
I was not able to process or handle this new ‘experience’ and HAD to do something to put the poor woman out of her misery.
The yelling and hitting HAD to stop, it was getting on my nerves. So I did the first thing that came to my mind – I took a deep breath, gathered a huge ball of spit, and spat on the man from the 2nd floor.
It hit my target and he was momentarily taken by surprise and instinctively looked up to see where this came from. I did what any ‘brave’ self-respecting kid would do in that situation – run away.
I went back to my aunt’s home and quietly sat in a room without telling anyone about it. A little while later I heard someone talking to my aunt outside but I didn’t dare step out. She came to me and asked if I spit on someone and I outrightly denied it. It seems someone had come upstairs saying they saw someone do it but wasn’t sure who it was as that floor had a couple more houses. I did not want to probe her further about it because I was feeling guilty and wanted that episode to pass as quickly as possible! I know it’s not a good thing to lie but at that point in time, I didn’t want any more trouble.
No one ever spoke about it again and that’s that.”
6. I Watched My Bullies Attack Each Other
“I was in 8th grade. In the Physical Education locker room, there were two guys assigned to the locker next to me who egged each other on to abuse me verbally and physically. After a few weeks of this, I had an idea. I casually looked over the shoulder of one of them while he was unlocking his locker. (We used combination padlocks.) I got their combination and memorized it.
The next day I dressed for PE really slowly, so I was the last one in that aisle of lockers to leave. With no one around I dialed their combination on their lock, and it opened.
Now, I had no intention of actually harming their stuff, so I relocked it and respun the combination, this time with the last number off by one. Then I went out to PE.
When it was time to go in I sprinted for the locker room, and sure enough I was the first one in the aisle. As casually as possible I turned their dial one number and pulled the lock open.
When they arrived they did not even notice until after they showered. But then they started beating each other for having left the lock open.
I ignored them while enjoying the fact that they were spending more time harassing each other than me.
I continued this for several weeks. I could only do it on days I got to our locker aisle first, but that was at least half the time. Every time they got angrier and angrier with each other, and over time they completely forgot to harass me.
Eventually, they were completely silent, which was fine with me. At that point, I stopped, and they remained completely silent (but glaring at each other) for the rest of the school year.
My only regret is that I did not have a similar opportunity to deal with my other tormentors.”
5. We Left The Smokers With The Foul Smell
“Down in the Pike Place Market area of Seattle, there are several nice coffee shops. One Saturday afternoon in the smoking era, my buddy and I went into a nice espresso shop up on the second level. This was a smaller shop so there was no designated non-smoking area – the dumb idiots could light up wherever they pleased.
It was about 2:00 PM so the place was all but empty.
My friend and I chose a small table in the center and ordered our coffees. Earlier in the day, I ate something that was beginning to build a huge volume of nasty fart-gas, and my guts were churning.
About halfway through our espressos, a couple came in and took the table right next to ours. Then they both lit up. The swine.
We hoped the air circulation might work in our favor, but no, the effluvium encroached on, then engulfed our little table.
We decided to go elsewhere.
As I stood to don my coat, I felt a great movement in my bowels – the great, humongous fart that had been brewing all day was ready to go. Revenge shall be mine. With that, I thrust my posterior over the smokers’ table and let ‘er rip. The fart gas was red-hot so I knew the smell would be awful. The titan blast echoed through the espresso shop and, I believe, rattled our cups and saucers.
My buddy and I took off leaving the smokers to enjoy a foul smell.”
4. His Bright Lights Are Not Actually Bright
“I have a one-hour commute every morning. My wife works with me, so we usually commute together. About three years ago, I had about a four-month period where my wife was at home after the birth of our daughter. I hate to say this, but somehow my wife slows me down when I start my commute. If I’m on my own, I can get out of the house by 6:05 with no extra effort.
Somehow she adds on about 20 minutes. That 20 minutes makes an extreme difference because the highway gets crowded about then. So for about four months, I was able to avoid the crazier part of the commute.
One morning I got out extremely early. I hit the road at about 5:50. The highway was almost deserted. I was tooling along at a respectable 65–70 mph. There is no one in sight ahead of me and just one car way off in the distance behind me.
The next thing I know, the car behind me decides that he has to pass me. That’s fine. I’m a fairly easy-going guy. For some reason, he decides that he has to make a big show of it as if I’d been slowing him down. He cuts into the right lane, barely missing my bumper, and then does the same coming around in front of me.
I’d say he had maybe two or three feet of clearance. Why he did this, I cannot fathom except some people are just complete idiots. I see them all the time on the commute, including people who pass off the road, people who play chicken with big rigs, even people who tailgate CHP.
Still, this kind of rankled. Mr. 1995 Ford Probe With Authentic Pre-Crumpled Door had decided to be about as rude as you can be.
With a completely deserted highway and no real reason why he couldn’t have passed me even a hundred yards earlier and then re-merged a hundred yards later (even three hundred!) had to show how cool he was. How cavalier he could be with my life, just so that he could show me that driving a hair above the speed limit is rude when he wanted an unobstructed race at 85mph.
So… I guess I can go 85. Heck, why not 90! There is literally NO ONE ELSE OUT HERE. I get to about five car lengths behind him. He rolls down his window and flips me off. Or at least… I think he’s flipping me off. It is, after all, still before dark. The sun isn’t even thinking about coming up yet. Just to be sure, I turn on my brights.
Sure enough, he is holding his middle finger out there. Well, that’s fine. Again, there’s no one out there, and since he’s so enamored of sign language and so eloquent, I don’t want to miss a thing. I keep my brights on for the next ten miles, only turning them off when cars are (rarely) coming in the opposite direction.
As I’m within range of my exit, I speed up until I’m right next to him.
Just to show him that I bear him no ill will, I flash him my biggest, sunniest smile, making sure to show him all of my teeth. Joe (I assume that’s his name since he has it tattooed on his neck) again shows me his middle finger. Then he drops down in speed to get behind me. His ’95 Ford Probe’s ‘brights’ come on. At least I think they’re brights.
They’re scarcely brighter than his regular lights, so I’m not sure if they deserve the name.
Alas, Joe and I parted ways there. He went off to… Buy stuff I guess? I went off to my job. Perhaps we’ll meet again. Don’t know how don’t know when… But until then, Joe, if you ever read this (assuming you can read) always remember that your lights are about three feet up there.
Your brights are roughly level with my bumper. The brights of my truck are level with your window. I’m going to win every time.
Also, thanks to the earlier commute and the extra speed, I got to work early enough to check my mailbox where I found a nice little overtime check. I hope Joe got one as well… but I doubt it. If so, he should buy a new tire. It looked like he was riding on watermelons.”
3. You Need More Practice
“One morning I was driving my car peak hour in Hyderabad in the lane adjacent to the median and about 300 meters ahead there is a signal where I had to go straight. I was looking for a gap in my left lane to get into that lane so that I won’t be blocked by the people turning right at the signal ahead.
There was a small gap next to my car and I just turned my steering by about 10° and there suddenly appeared two guys on a bike next to my front left tire! My car didn’t even touch their bike but they started to hurl abuses at me (though I couldn’t hear properly as my windows were up with the AC on, I could make out they weren’t making any decent comments) and while getting ahead they even made an offensive sign with their middle finger! That really made me lose my patience but there was little I could do as they sped away and I couldn’t even open my car door as there was just no space.
So I was cursing them under my breath, what else could I do?! After a couple of minutes of bumper-to-bumper traffic, I forgot all about it and moved on.
As I reached the signal I was crawling ahead due to the peak hour traffic and suddenly to my surprise and amusement, I found the bike next to my window as they stopped to take a right turn there.
(There was a green signal for the traffic going straight only.)
I immediately rolled down my window and those 2 guys also saw me and removed their helmets (interestingly both of them were wearing helmets which is a very rare thing in India) expecting to hear me shout back at them.
To their utter shock, I simply said in a nonchalant tone, ‘That language you’ve used there (pointing backward with my hand) please practice it at home so that you will get better!’ Saying that I simply drove off.
You should’ve seen their faces.”
2. They Paid A Lot For Taxis
“At the time I worked in an ad agency and we did lots of different jobs for our client which was a large company with more than 30,000 employees.
These jobs could include ads, brochures, etc. Basically any form of communication between a company and the public and its customers.
Our clients were very demanding, gave us short deadlines after they had sat on the project for weeks doing nothing, and were often high-handed and rude.
Our contract with them meant that we issued quotes for each project which they had to approve.
For example on a tiny project for a limited number of brochures, the cost of the printer might be $60,000. Normally we add on a 30% profit margin so the cost to the client would be $78,000.
But the clients were being particularly abrasive and rude and demanding, so we thought, screw them and we just arbitrarily decided to whack on an extra $30,000 rudeness tax bringing their cost to $108,000.
As they were rude and nasty, we did this all the time, saying to ourselves, that person was nasty in that last meeting.
Let’s add an extra $20,000 to their next project, so that rude remark cost their company $20,000.
Now this money didn’t come out of their pocket but rather their employers but good enough for me.
The account I worked on was insanely profitable for my employer.
We also got bored sometimes so we would decide to catch a cab to the downtown shopping area a few miles away and would always charge the cabs to the client company. The cab forms just included a reference to a job number and no explanation of what for as we used cabs all the time.
The client spent hundreds of thousands of dollars a month on cabs for itself so our little screw you with the cabs was too small to be even noticed.
After all, for the ad agency and the media agency to go to a client meeting first thing in the morning at the company’s offices, meant 6-8 people catching cabs from home to client office and back to the media agency and ad agencies offices, with each return trip per person being around $100 in cab costs. The client company’s offices were on the outskirts of the city. So these meetings cost them $600-$800 just on cab costs alone for just 1 of many meetings.
So we stuck it to them for being rude and felt very good doing it.”
1. I Parked The Annoying Woman's Car Across The Street
“I worked valet at a hotel downtown in a relatively big city. We had a few places we could park cars, one lot that was two stories underground and only accessible by car elevator, a parking garage we shared with another hotel, and a surface lot across the street. The lot across the street was mostly used for the overnight valet to take cars from the garage that were checking out in the morning so it was easier during checkout.
The issue with it was the large HVAC building next door would have a lot of dirty mist coming off of it that would guarantee the car would get very dirty if we left it there for a long time. We generally only put rental cars there.
Anyways, this woman drives up and I go to greet her and the conversation goes like this:
‘Hello, ma’am, welcome to the _____, would you like to valet the car with us tonight?’
‘Are there any other options? Your valets run such a racket.
‘The only parking option offered by the hotel is the valet, you’re welcome to park in the public lots in the area.’
‘Jesus Christ this is such a ripoff, sorry, I’m not yelling at you this is just ridiculous.’
Despite her claim, she was yelling at me, so I parked her car across the street for 3 days. I had to use the windshield fluid to safely drive back to return the car. She wasn’t pleased.”