People Discuss Their Most Feral Roomie Experience Ever
20. He's Entitled And Thinks He Owns The Place
“First off, I’m going to state that we put in our notice over 21 days in advance. There were no contracts for the lease. My partner and I are moving out in a week, which is 15 days before we ‘have’ to leave.
So this roommate was a longtime friend to my partner and I for a few years, as separate friendships from our relationship.
He has been passive-aggressive about everything since we moved in over 6 months ago.
His bedroom is in the basement with a full bathroom, two bedrooms, and a living space. We were not allowed to have any of our stuff in his overly cluttered kitchen. On the bookshelf next to our bed is our kitchen stuff and some packed away too.
During this “world pause,” he has been having strangers come over because he sells illegal substances to make money.
He says we are gross, but before we do anything in the kitchen, we have to clean up his messes.
He leaves dirty dishes in the sink, but we have not been allowed to even have clean dishes drying in the drying rack. He constantly makes messes and blames them on us.
We pay for the upstairs bathroom, but he lets people use it all the time.
He constantly burns bridges with the people around him and his own friends (that are mine too) have told me they would NEVER live with him.
I have friends he has burnt bridges with that won’t come over, so I don’t have company come over, ever.
He says it’s his house but does not own it and also has to move because the owners want to sell the house.
Anytime he speaks to us, it’s another complaint.
He name calls us and always has an awful attitude.
If he’s not complaining about his problems, he is complaining about other people’s problems.
Our stuff (which is in our bedroom) is in the way, but I have also helped him save some of the plants he has almost killed in the past. Clearly, nature doesn’t help him.
He brags about being able to make $1,000 in a night of bartending and also brags about not paying taxes on his cash tips.
He says my partner can’t park; yet, he doesn’t leave space for us to park.
If my partner parks too far up, he complains about the trash bins not being able to get moved. If he doesn’t park up enough, he complains. Half the time, there’s barely any room on the driver’s side to even open the door comfortably.
He does not work, and my partner and I both work over 40 hours a week.
I don’t feel like this has been a home for even a day.
I’ve had roommates for 12 years, and I’ve never felt such a presence of childish behavior.
He claims he can evict us (even though we’re literally already leaving), and with not being a homeowner and after all of his rude and aggressive messages with most of our replies just simply being a thumbs up, I doubt that would be possible.
Did I mention he’s been selling hard illegal substances out of his home and having random people come over constantly DURING THE WORLD PAUSE?
He always yells at his and our dogs, that his dog always hangs out with us in our room.
Now he is at the point that he calls us selfish and entitled.
He says we are not caring about the safety of his dog, but we love her like our own. We don’t yell at dogs, especially not elderly dogs.
He moves all of our stuff in the fridge to the back because it’s ‘in the way’ and we are not allowed to use the main living room for anything. It is cluttered all over the place with SO much furniture, 5 dog beds that are all his.
Yet, he complains about his own things and still buys/hoards furniture.
We cannot get to any of our stuff in the storage shed outside as he lets other people put stuff in there. Then when we tell him we need to get to our things, he says other people are using it. I don’t know if he makes them pay to use it or not, but I know we have paid to use it.
We pay rent on time.
Never been late.
Just today, he texted my partner some borderline terrible things.
He refuses to take responsibility for his own actions and is the epiphany of male white privilege. We have bent over backward to be accommodating to him as he has literally messaged us; “I. DON’T. CARE.”
I’m now laughing because he is trying to rent out the ONE BEDROOM AND A SHARED BATHROOM for $500 more than what we pay right now.
(I assume because he can’t make the money himself to pay for his own living expenses.)
I’ve never heard him ask us how we are without a complaint about us to follow.
He has been blacklisted to work for many places in town because of how he talks about people behind their back, and how he has talked about his previous employers before. And yet wonders why he can’t get a job that isn’t at Applebee’s, which he refused to take.
There is honestly so much more, but I think this touches base on most of the problems.
I’ve been in plenty of toxic house environments, but this one is beyond audacious to me.”
Another User Comments:
“Dude, leave the cops an anonymous tip about the illegal substances when you leave, and if you have any proof he’s threatened you, file a complaint with police.
What a freaking nightmare.” ErisInChains
19. The Harassment Won't Stop
“This new guy moved in a couple of months ago, and he seemed quiet and nice at first, but come month two, he’s literally going ape poop over a couple of plates being left in the kitchen as if it’s his kitchen. He tried to literally order me to clean up this second, and I only refused on principle. You don’t talk to grown adults like that, and it’s not like we trash the place.
Is it not normal for people to leave a dish or two overnight? I might add I had a crappy week before landing a new job, my cat disappeared for a few days before my birthday, and I also am chronically depressed, living in a new city far from family, and isolated in “world pause” times, so yeah, we all have problems, and he clearly stated he didn’t care about how I feel.
Instead of talking to me like an adult, he says, “Screw you” and flips me off with both hands like a 12-year-old… He’s 30. So that’s when I lost my patience and went for a walk.
Anyway, whatever, I made sure all week that our dishes weren’t in the way and took extra care to not give him more reason to complain. Usually he was fine, we said hi and talked, just a little off in a social way I guess.
This guy was homeschooled, seemed a bit socially inept, put on the nice guy mask, but after the week played out, I know who this guy is now.
So after keeping the kitchen extra clean all week, Friday, which was my birthday, we were met with nothing but harassment and weird notes being left on our window. The first time we left our room to get gelato, we said nothing to him, and he starts calling my partner a derogatory term, which is also weird because he’s gay himself.
He was trying to call my man on for a fight, and we didn’t respond, told him to stop, and walked away. Then he proceeds to make monkey sounds and weird grunts at us when we walked by again after getting home. Like, what on Earth, dude?
The next day, I’m at work, and my partner gets a note from him saying, “You want a good girl?” Can anyone explain this to me? After seeing this, I told him if the harassment continues, and we receive unwanted contact, police will be called.
He said we have to discuss what “harassment” means, and I said that my safety is not up for discussion, and the guidelines for harassment are very clear on our local police department website. I said this stops now, or the police will be called.
Then, that night after he went to bed, I went out to the living room to find a stack of sticky notes.
This is where it gets messed up, like serial killer in a movie messed up. 12 sticky notes, first one was like, “Seriously, just leave, or I’ll come after you That’s your only way out from the beginning,” then they were all dated at the bottom, April 1st through 3rd, and it was like documenting his psycho thoughts and making fun of stuff we said or did throughout the day.
Like he was watching and stalking us. Weird freaking stuff, like “Punch me in the groin,” and then, “I believed in you witches when I was a kid,” “Sorry lil buddy, I thought you were down,” and just weird freaking stuff like that. My heart is pounding just thinking about it. Like seriously, what the freak, people? I took pictures of it all, and I plan on calling the non-emergency line just to see what should be done because this is next-level scary stuff.
Recently, police were called after he tried kicking our door in while verbally taunting us and pacing outside our door.
He was taken to the hospital for a mental assessment, and he went outside to greet the cops with “bad guy” written on his face, so yeah. Be careful out there, people, there are some weird/dangerous people who are good at faking it for a while. Stay safe, and don’t let people cross your boundaries, and you never deserve to feel unsafe in your own home. It is harassment/bullying and can always be reported to the police.”
18. Having A Little Mental Break
Maybe more than a little mental break…
“This guy I lived with in college had tons, so I’ll limit the story to one night.
He comes into the apartment talking to himself. I hear him go into his room and make a bunch of noise. His door is open so I look in, and he is trashing the room. Literally nothing in the room is upright, and everything is on the floor.
Without looking at me, he flings a record at the wall, and it shatters a few inches from my head. At no point does he acknowledge me.
I go in my room and shut the door. A little while later, he starts taking a shower in my bathroom (he had flooded his own bathroom a few days before). While he’s in there, our resident assistant knocks on our door and asks us to quiet down.
As I try to explain to her I’m not the one making noise, a huge noise comes from the shower, followed by, ‘CRAP!!!’ Our resident assistant just kind of shrugs and leaves, and I go back to my room.
After about two hours, I want to go make dinner, but I still hear the shower running. I step out of my room and see a watery trail of CDs and records leading into my bathroom.
The door is wide open, so I clearly see the guy not wearing any clothing (except for his rainbow hat) sitting on top of the backrest of a dining room chair in the shower, the shower curtain lying on the ground, with the comforter from his bed draped over his feet. The tub underneath him is filled with broken CDs and records. There’s an intense stream of water spraying everywhere from directly out of the wall since that loud noise earlier was apparently him ripping the showerhead completely apart.
I walk to the kitchen and start cooking. He finally leaves the bathroom and walks right by me into his room without noticing me. Then he comes back out again, still in his birthday suit, stops in front of me and slowly turns his head and looks at me for the first time. He says, ‘Oh’ then walks out the front door, wearing nothing but his rainbow hat.”
17. Keep. Your. Socks. On.
“During my first year of college, I had a roommate who would never shower. For the whole quarter, he would not shower and wear the same clothes every single day. He’d even crawl into his bed without taking off his shoes. His snoring was obnoxiously loud and I just started being annoyed by everything he did.
Even though it was really cold outside, I would open the windows as wide as possible so that the stench wouldn’t smell so bad.
My friends that would come over would notice the smell as well. I had a girl over one day when my roommate was away for the weekend and she was put off by the smell in the room. She pinpointed the smell and said that it was coming from my roommate’s mattress. This was my final straw. I confronted him on his hygiene when he came back by asking him if everything is okay because he seems stressed and it doesn’t look like he’s keeping up with his hygiene.
This is when he let me know that he’s just stressed from classes.
I offered to tutor him and recommended some extra review sessions that our college campus offered. I then told him that the room is smelling really bad and asked him when was the last time he showered. He said he was too busy to shower, which made no sense to me. I told him that you have to keep up with your hygiene because it inconveniences others, such as my friends and myself.
I told him that he needs to take a shower immediately because I am having trouble sleeping at night because of the smell. He agreed, and that’s when the worst happened.
He took off his socks and the room filled with a vile stench of death. It was so awful that I lost my cool and told him to throw those freaking socks away. After he got out of the shower, I suggested that he should wash his clothes and his bedsheets.
When he took all of his stuff to the laundry room, I realized that his stench had seeped into his mattress. I grabbed some cleaning supplies that I had and scrubbed his mattress outside of our dorm.
For the next 2-3 months after these events, I had to constantly remind him to shower, change his outfits, and wash his clothes. Eventually, he got into the habit of doing all of these things without being told and it worked out. I’ll never forget the smell when he took off his socks. I’ve smelled rotting animals and more, but his feet and socks were definitely the worst things I had ever smelled.”
16. She Went... Blind?
“So I moved to NYC last May and got a room in a four-bedroom in Harlem. My four roommates were all either aspiring actors or models, and all of them came straight from Paris.
One night it was 3 a.m., and I’m woken up by the sound of someone loudly sobbing outside my door. I decide to mind my business but then there’s banging on my door, and the voice of one of the models, Clarisse, screaming for help.
I open the door, and she’s standing there in her underwear SOBBING, and I’m asking her what’s wrong, but she barely speaks English.
She goes, “I’m blind please. God, help me, I’m blind.”
It’s 3 a.m., so I’m very confused, and I’ve spoken to her only a few times in passing. I tell her it’s going to be OK and go to our freezer to get ice for her because in my half-awake mind, I decide holding ice on her blinded eyes will fix the issue.
I had forgotten that our fridge broke, and all of us were too lazy to take the meat out of the freezer, and we adopted a “just don’t open it” policy when it came to the freezer— so I open it, and there’s just an insane amount of rotting meat, and I’m gagging, and Clarisse is crying so loud. So I tell her to wait there while I go outside to get eye drops from across the street.
I give her the eye drops and a cold bottle of water I got, and she asks me to help her put the eye drops in because she’s shaking and afraid.
So I hold this girl’s sweaty eyelids open while she’s cursing in French in her underthings, and I drop the eyedrops in and give her a banana to eat and literally tuck her in because I assume that will help (and at this point, the whole apartment smells like rotting meat).
Apparently, a photographer had told her that a lip gloss/nail polish cocktail looked great as eyeliner, so she did a photoshoot with that on her eyes, came home to try to wash it out, and it all went into her eyes.
Everything I did, did not help, and she later just went to a hospital after I went back to bed.”
15. Never Live With Your Ex
“Up until this past April, my guy and I shared a two-bedroom apartment with his brother and his brother’s EX-girl.
Originally, it was myself, my guy, and his brother, but we let the ex in because she had lost her job as a live-in home health aide and was on the verge of being homeless.
We were all friendly at first; I drove her stuff from the next state over to our apartment.
Not too long after that, she started berating my guy’s brother over stuff that was beyond his control, and it wasn’t long before that anger shifted to me and my guy as well.
She also had a hard time paying rent, and when I say ‘had a hard time,’ I mean ‘spending her money from both jobs on useless crap from eBay.’ Her rent was the same as mine: $160 a month, cheap as both my guy and his brother drive school buses and make a decent amount and could really support the apartment themselves.
I had to bust my tail working in a grocery store to make rent while the ex barely paid a dime.
It got to the point where she complained about every little thing, whether it was our fault or not.
Our friend literally had to move in and basically keep us from killing each other; I swung at her for calling me fat, even though she looks like Humpty-Dumpty.
In the meantime, she started bringing random guys in and out of the house. One guy, in particular, only visited whenever my guy and his brother were out of the house; turns out the guy was TOTAL CREEP and had done stuff she conveniently ‘forgot’ to tell us.
It was a long year before we finally went our separate ways and cleansed ourselves of the apartment.
My guy and I moved into our own place, his brother moved in with his parents, and the ex wound up living out of her car after getting kicked out of the creep’s house AND her grandparents’ house. We made it clear that after the way she treated us, we would have no part in getting her on her feet again.”
14. A Serious Addiction To Video Games
“My junior year of college, I roomed with one of my good friends who got me into playing WoW. We would have marathon WoW sessions, and for a while, it was pretty fun. Then I started to notice how gross he was as a result of never wanting to step away from the game to do anything like throw away garbage, go drinking, try to find a girl, or go to class.
One day after coming back from a class my neighbor was like, ‘That really sucks that your roommate is dropping out of school.” That was news to me. When I asked him about it, he was like, ‘Oh yeah, I must have forgotten to tell you I am leaving tomorrow.’
His parents came to pick him up at 7 in the freaking morning. I was still sleeping when he let them in.
His parents looked like they wanted to strangle him and like they wanted to cry at the same time. Didn’t say a word to me while they were there. Just stared at me. I feared I would burst into flames. So, I left and came back to my now half-empty room hours later.
I found hidden garbage and empty soda cans and bottles hidden all over his half of the room that he left for me to clean up.
The only upside of the story is I stopped playing WoW forever that day, vowing never to be as crazy as my ex-roommate”
13. Why Go To College If All You Want To Do Is Party?
“I was nervous about my first roommate, so I actually called him up to discuss who was bringing what, like a good little nerdy freshman. I’d bring the TV, he’d bring his Xbox, etc. I figured it would be best to try to be friends since we’d be living together.
Well, I call his number that the university provided, and his mom answers. I ask for him.
After an awkwardly long pause, he picks up and mumbles incoherently to all of my questions. Already, I know something is wrong.
As it turns out, Steve is a townie. Yes, he lives in town and is going to this university in his hometown where he was required to live in the dorms.
I did not have the wisdom to realize what bad fortune had befallen me.
The first day of school, I get moved in, and there’s no sign of my roommate.
At this point, I don’t even know what he looks like. He’s left his stuff in the room but hasn’t really made any effort to organize it or make any space for me. I have to move his TV (which I told him I was bringing…) to make room for my chair.
Whatever, I say. I go out, socialize a bit, come home later that afternoon, and hit the hay early because I’m exhausted.
I wake up at some ungodly hour to the worst smell I have ever smelled in my 18 short years. Steve has returned covered in a combination of vomit, liquor, and smoke. It is the worst mixture of odors I have ever encountered, and to this day I can remember laying awake until sunrise, praying for sleep to come, silently cursing the intoxicated, fat, vomit-covered butthole in the bunk beside me.
The next few weeks, I “get to know” Steve a bit better.
He is in engineering school because his brother went there and is now a successful engineer.
Steve doesn’t want to be here. At all. Steve wants to get intoxicated every night and puke on every available surface with his townie friends. It just so happens he now has a better place to crash when his friends drop him off after a crazy night.
One day, one of his friends came into the room, smoking (in the dorms, this was highly illegal) while talking about the room.
He was your typical white-trash townie, talking in ghetto-slang and trying to sound like a baddie.
In particular, he was impressed by the fact that we had two TVs. “Y’all freaks livin’ like freakin’ KINGS!”
So the nights of terrible smells continued unabated. I was happy when the semester got into full swing, as I had an excuse to go study in the library or at a classmate’s room.
Anything to avoid the smell. I bought a cheap air filtration machine to keep it at bay, but it was impossible to purge the room completely.
Partway through the semester, I started to realize that my roommate couldn’t possibly be going to his classes. He would sleep in the room for hours, all afternoon, then wake up to go out and do more partying with his townie buddies.
By this point I had basically no respect for him, so I went through his mail, found some personal information with his student ID and account data, connected to the university’s class registration system, and checked his record.
He was failing all his classes. The drop date was mid-October, just a few weeks away, so I knew I had until then and then Steve would be out of my life for good.
The date came: he dropped and moved out. I was ecstatic. No roommate for the rest of the semester.
The next semester, he was re-enrolled and living in a room directly across the hall from me. Oh well, he’s somebody else’s problem now, I thought. Turns out, he dropped out of his second attempt at college, too.”
12. She Breaks My Stuff And Doesn't Care
“I know the solution to this problem is to just talk to my roommate, but I am so non-confrontational that every time I’ve tried, I have gotten scared and backed down immediately. This is such a weird problem that I think she must genuinely have no idea she’s being super rude. I don’t how you can break someone’s stuff and do absolutely nothing about it.
Roommate moved in in April.
I needed a new roommate as my old one was moving in with her partner. Old roommate and I were really good friends and knew each other before moving in together. So I knew this new girl who was a stranger that I found on a roommate finder site, obviously our relationship would be different. But I did put in the ad that I am very friendly and social and was looking for a roommate who would be down to hang out, and generally be good friends.
This girl is definitely not like my old roommate.
She’s pretty introverted, so she’s in her room a lot. We have a 2 bed, 2 bath, so for the most part, it’s easy to stay out of each other’s way. I would like us to hang out more, but she really just wants to play video games in her room or play DnD over Zoom. Sometimes we’ll watch a movie together.
Due to ‘the world’s pause,’ we can’t really go out and do stuff I might usually use to try and break down her social wall (going out to eat, grabbing a drink at a bar, catching some live music.
We live in a neighborhood with lots of walkable nightlife, so it’s killing me that I can’t take advantage of that this year).
So here’s the meat of the problem.
Other than her bedroom furniture, a couch, and a couple of cups and plates, she didn’t really come with much, which is fine; I love to cook and have a fully stocked kitchen. I told her I absolutely don’t mind sharing stuff, added her stuff to the cabinets, and that was that.
However, she keeps breaking things. I absolutely understand that dishes break all the time, and I don’t have an emotional attachment to anything except one set of bowls my dad brought back from China.
It’s not a big deal to replace it.
Except she never tells me when she breaks something! I only find out because I find the pieces of whatever it was in the trash or something goes missing and I’ll look for it for a while and finally ask her about it, and she’ll just casually say she broke it.
No apology, no acknowledgment that it was mine, and now it doesn’t exist anymore.
She does not offer to replace it or pay for it. I would probably say no, no; don’t worry about it but I would appreciate the gesture. I know if I broke something that wasn’t mine, I would offer to replace it. I shattered an old roommate’s wine glasses when I accidentally dropped the water pitcher in the sink, and I ordered a new set right away and she had new glasses by that weekend.
I have tried a couple of times to tell her about it, but I chicken out every time. We have a decent relationship, and I don’t want to upset the balance we have. I spend more time at home than I ever have before. I do not want a hostile home environment. She never goes anywhere except the gym, so if she becomes hostile, I will definitely be miserable.”
11. Always Crossing Boundaries
“Alright, I need some help understanding this person we live with. Talking to her never works; she just laughs things off or spins things to make herself seem the victim. But really, I just need to vent. A LOT.
I(30F) live with my partner (35M) who owns the house and a roommate (28F). Most of her quirks and annoying habits I’ve just overlooked up until now, but now that ‘the world pause’ is keeping us all much closer than we would like, I can’t keep doing this.
She’s disrespectful and entitled. For instance, she uses the entire large fridge to store her food (we don’t share food; she’s decided she has some untested food sensitivities), taking up every shelf and drawer leaving us a half shelf for leftovers. As a result, my partner and I store food in a mini-fridge he has as a result of having many roommates in his house over many years.
She will often leave food in the fridge so long it spoils and then doesn’t clean up the rotten food mess.
She uses up all the storage space in the house, and I often have to move her things to find my own. She leaves messes in the kitchen, not huge dirty messes, but like, spilled food on the counters or floors, dishes or uncleaned recyclables beside the sink for days, or leaves food stuck to dishes and put them away like they are clean.
She routinely leaves her Diva cup laying around the bathroom or leaves blood on the bathroom floor or sink or soap dispenser.
She leaves her hair in the shower on every surface. She has left the deep freezer door open on multiple occasions. I have cleaned up melted food and mess so many times, but she always denies it was her. (She has so much food in it that we have stopped using it altogether; it is definitely her.) She’ll let the compost pile up in the kitchen if we aren’t home, not taking it out to the bin.
She has just thrown unwanted food into the yard, and when we told her she definitely couldn’t do that because we didn’t want our dogs eating it, she was shocked that that would be bad for them. We have talked to her about all these things at one time or another, but she always just laughs it off or claims she was in a rush and it “will never happen again.” It always does.
She uses my stuff, as in anything she wants she uses, without asking or replacing or cleaning what she uses.
To name a few, she has used my shampoo, face wash, face cream, tampons, hairbrush, toothpaste, a facemask that I never saw again, and most unforgivably, my RAZOR. The razor is what pushed me over the edge. She left it in the shower covered in her hair.
When I confronted her about it, she just said she was in a hurry and used it without “mindfulness” and sees nothing wrong with using it.
She did say she would “try not to touch” any of my things in the future. I have resorted to storing pretty much everything in our room, while her things take up most spaces in the bathroom.
She also just generally only interacts with my partner and not me, as in she will talk over me to talk to him, ignore me when I’m in the room, and she asks him to compliment her on her outfit or help her cook something, or whatever.
I am not worried about his attentions; we are secure as a couple, and he generally brushes her off, but it still bothers me that she so openly seeks his attention.
She also definitely doesn’t take ‘the world pause’ as seriously as us, despite discussing this a lot with her. She doesn’t wash her hands super often, and she never covers her mouth when she coughs/sneezes/burps. She still continues to hang out with bunches of her friends, have dinners, go out, etc.
Being recently single during this time in history can not be great, but still. If we get sick, it’s coming from her.
Honestly, I think she’s a darn psychopath at this point. I can not figure out why she thinks some of her actions are at all ok. She is so flaky and oblivious. I truly do not believe she will ever change her habits, and after having multiple conversations with her for a variety of reasons, she sees nothing wrong with her actions or using our stuff.
I understand living with two love birds isn’t ideal, especially during these weird times.
My partner and I have discussed the issue, but we don’t want to kick her out this time of year; we live in a community where finding a place to rent is difficult in the best of times, let alone winter. But I have made it very clear she needs to go. He, however, maintains that although she is a terrible roommate, she hasn’t done anything terrible enough to earn an eviction.
And she’s not using his stuff, just mine. So far.”
10. A Straight-Up Control Freak And Complainer
“I (24F) and my friends (23F) and (21M) decided to get a place together this year; however, the original plan was I and my (23F) friend to live together, but due to our friend’s (21M) circumstances, we decided to all three live together.
Before moving in my (23F) roommate and I were aware of how our friend (21M) is like and were worried living together wouldn’t turn out the way we expected.
Our (21M) friend is very controlling and likes things his way (I’m sure stemming from severe anxiety issues and trauma refusing to be dealt with).
His old roommate is one of our other friends who also had issues with him when living together.
After the first month and a half of living together, he started being passive-aggressive and petty when it came to the trash. We confronted him about it asking what the issue was since our house is clean and we are all clean people who do our share of everything.
He said how he felt like he was the only one doing everything around the house and we had to reassure him that’s not true and we all do our share and just because he has to do things occasionally doesn’t mean we never do anything.
After discussing this issue and having a talk with him, we thought everything was resolved.
Fast forward a month later, we are already having more issues with him.
He’s sassy all the time and makes comments about everything we do which he should have no concern over and it sounds like he’s criticizing us or judging us. A few examples, my roommate and I pay our share of all the bills and on time, yet he feels the need to make comments about our finances and how many packages we receive at the door.
Our money shouldn’t be any of his business since it doesn’t affect him. He also is so worried about what we eat and will roast us occasionally on what we eat cause he thinks it’s funny (meanwhile his diet isn’t the greatest). The first or second time of hearing it it’s funny, but after that, it just gets annoying. My one roommate and I decided to each get our own cat and confirmed this was okay with him out of respect (he has a dog).
He made comments as if we were incompetent with owning an animal and asked if we are sure that’s what we wanted to do and how it’s going to be extra money with our lease and all this other crap. Meanwhile, we are the ones cleaning up his dog’s poo and pee all the time. These are just some examples of comments being made continuously and stuff that’s brought up almost daily.
My roommate and I were just allowing these things to build up over time since we had just talked to him and didn’t know if we should address the concerns yet.
This past week, we made a comment through text and it turned into him getting defensive and felt like he was being ganged up by the two of us and him claiming we are talking smack on him.
He never takes responsibility for his actions or behavior and claims that’s just who he is. He can never admit he’s in the wrong. He’s been ignoring us for almost a week now and we’ve made 4 attempts to try to talk to him already. I’m just really annoyed and can’t think to live like this anymore being constantly criticized and not being able to feel comfortable in my own house.”
9. Clean Up Your Monthly Cycle Remains
“I’m a girl. I live with 2 other girls in a shared three-bedroom apartment. We’re all grad students and have single rooms. One lucky girl has her own bathroom. I share the second bathroom with the other – I’ll call her GAB for gross-and-bloody.
Sooooo GAB is disgusting and messy and steals people’s things.
Re: stealing…..
She continuously uses my face wash – the first time, I was purposefully nice about it and said, “Hey, it’s ok, but I really am not ok with you using my products, so please don’t do it again.” One week later, GAB blatantly has moved my facewash from the sink to the shower.
Because she is a hermit and ignores any attempt to talk to her, I text messages her. She ignored it (but read it).
She steals/keeps hostage my other roommates dishes and utensils, leaving the poor girl with nothing to use. She steals both of our foods.
Now, talking to this girl is impossible because she’s basically a freaking hermit. She has zero friends and never leaves the room.
If you knock on her door, she opens it about 3 inches to stick her face through.
Behind her, you can see old food and dirty plates mixed with clothing and other crap all over the floor and her mattress. My policy with roommates is – your room, none of my business. As long as it stays in your room, do whatever the hecky ou want in there.
But, that brings up the main reason I’m posting…..
SHE IS DISGUSTING.
Warning folks: the following includes bodily fluids in places they don’t belong.
Which bodily fluids you ask? Why, period blood.
And where? EVERY FREAKING WHERE. In shower. All over the toilet.
Oh and used pads. With leftover curly hairs. On the counter right where I put my clean clothes for after showering.
First time with the blood, I talked to her kindly but firmly.
The second time (the infamous PAD incident of 2018), I may have freaked out and text messaged her and our third roommate. I included a photo (while apologizing to my other normal person roommate for the graphic grossness that will forever be burned into her retinas) and basically said, “I don’t care whose this is, but it’s disgusting, and I expect you to clean it up.”
Well, let’s flash forward to this weekend.
My mom is visiting from way out of town.
I cleaned the entire apartment including our bathroom because GAB is gross in general. Oh, and surprise: GAB has her period! Right before breakfast, my mom comes into my room and is like, “Um, why is there urine and tons of blood sitting in the toilet?” My mom tells me she cleaned the toilet. NOT okay.
My mom and I go out for the day.
We come back home quickly before leaving to go eat dinner.
BAM!!! Look at the disgusting blood right there all over the toilet seat, which my mom cleaned this morning. This time, I locked my mom out of the bathroom and cleaned it myself.
Our apartment is having a meeting tomorrow to discuss things. My other roommate and I want to bring up our concerns as for the group in general and not single her out.
We will have a roommate contract that everyone signs.
GAB is an international student, and when I talked to her (nicely) the first time about the blood thing, she tried to write it off.
But after today, I am ANGRY. And I’m thinking of sending good old GAB the following, as a text message, this morning before our group meeting:
“Hi GAB,
I did not want to bring this up yesterday when my mom was still here, but I want to make you aware that you left blood in the toilet TWICE yesterday.
The first time, my mom found it along with unflushed urine.
She asked me (and I had just woken up, not used the toilet, and am also not in my period).
My mom also CLEANED the ENTIRE toilet – the whole thing.
We went out for the day and came back home. Before leaving for dinner, I used the bathroom and was shocked to find blood on the toilet seat. This is after my mom, visiting and a guest, already cleaned your mess once.
This time I cleaned it up.
We are meeting tonight at 9 PM, and I would like all 3 of us roommates to discuss what is and is not ok.
I think that I was quite clear before, but in case I was not:
Blood is NOT ok.
You may not know that you have a blood-borne disease even if you are carrying it. Many viruses and bacteria live up to 7 days in dry blood.
Any contact with someone else’s blood is DANGEROUS. Blood should be cleaned off with a wet wipe – there is a box of them right on the toilet itself.
In addition, it is NOT my job or my mom’s job while a guest here to clean up your bodily fluids.
YOU ARE AN ADULT – please behave like one and check after yourself. Flush the toilet – nobody wants to see your urine.
Clean up your own bloody messes. I am not your cleaning lady. My mom is not your cleaning lady.
If you have any concerns for me, we can talk more at 9 PM tonight. In the meantime, I also want to share the following articles with you – regarding period ETIQUETTE (basically good manners). Periods: hygiene and etiquette — My Womanly Parts.”
Another User Comments:
“She sounds like she has some mental or social disability. If she is having difficulty taking care of herself and her surroundings she may need to find support some way.” 8_millimeter
8. She Bullies Me Through Other People
What a sweet roomie.
“I live with 2 roommates.
At the start, we didn’t really have a system and I was doing all the cleaning and work for the apartment. After a couple of times of frustration and asking them to help out more or to at least pick up their own stuff and not leave garbage, etc. around the apartment, my one roommate (Cara) was very nice, understanding, and apologetic.
It was her first time living away from home and didn’t really know anything. She has gotten a lot better and really makes an effort-I really respect that. My other roommate, Selena, has proceeded to ignore all my frustrations and continues to leave a mess, not do her dishes, etc. after months of being very nice asking to help out more or at least do her stuff, it has gone nowhere.
A few weeks ago, she said she was going to get a cat and I said that it’s not a good idea because I’m very allergic, and it’ll be a lot of cleaning (for me to do). Since then she made a “chore chart” where alternate chores each week (her trying to prove that she can clean and convince me to yes to the cat).
The first week, her chore was to clean the floors of all the common areas.
I was home all day and she only did the kitchen and bathroom, not the living room or any of the hallways.
I didn’t want to fight with her since we’ve already been fighting about many things like she steals my food and baking things. So I simply added on the chore sheet “including living room and hallways.” She then sent a picture of this in our group chat and was super angry saying she did it (even though I’m 99% sure she didn’t), and if she did later when I was gone, I still don’t trust her for obvious reasons, so instead of arguing with her, I simply replied, “Ok.” She proceeded to send long messages insulting me and my other roommate saying stating specific things that we didn’t clean well enough and all the things she cleaned (that one time when I already do all of those every day).
This started a big fight, and I tried pointing out to her that there’s a lot of things that she is still doing after I’ve asked so many times to help out with.
After this, I told her I’m no longer to be super nice and baby her; I’m just going to be honest, straight up, and direct. One example is when she leaves her dishes in the dish rack for days or even weeks and just stacks them to make a mountain and then expects me and my other roommate to clean up after her.
The other day, she did this again, and as always, there was no room for me to put my dishes.
I very respectfully but directly messaged her and asked her to put away her dishes before piling them up and letting my other roommate and I put them away.
She, as usual, ignored me and let my other roommate do it all. The next day I said (since I cannot change her behavior; I will just change mine) I will find a new solution which is buying another dish rack.
This obviously really upset her because that night, her partner and cousin (her only two friends and complains she has no other friends) starting harassing me saying that I’m bullying her and she has depression, so I should just suck it up and do her chores and that this is HER apartment (which is not true we all pay the same rent and are all equally on the lease) and then said that this harassment from them I brought upon myself because I’m bullying her etc.
I didn’t even know what to say I was baffled– I had never said a mean word and only ever called her out on her crap when she started having a meltdown after we asked to uphold her responsibilities.
After I explained to her partner and cousin the real issues and that it wasn’t personal but that my roommate should come to talk to me in person if she feels like I’m being unfairly mean to her, the cousin apologized and said it was a misunderstanding, but the partner continued to harass me for 2 days.
He was saying that this was all personal, and I hated him for some reason (which wasn’t true until now; now it is personal) and continued saying that I’m just angry ’cause she’s not giving attention or thanking me for doing all her stuff.
This is not the case. She has been unfriendly since day 1 and I just accepted it cause I didn’t want to be friends with someone like that.
I explained that I was not seeking gratitude, but I wanted equality, respect, and effort which she has done nothing of. I further explained to them (after multiple times them bashing me for being upset over her stealing my stuff and not doing the dishes) that it is not these small things that are really upsetting me, but it is the overall principle.
Stealing is stealing no matter how much, and that loses my trust.
Living with someone who is this immature, passive-aggressive, and who I cannot trust, THAT is what makes me angry. He continued to say how much I was hurting her and being mean to her forgetting about these things.
This whole time, I was very straightforward, honest, and tried really hard to be respectful, and asked to speak in person instead.
After 2 days of this, I finally got fed up and admitted that I don’t like her attitude cause she is nonstop complaining about her life, that she has no friends, how sorry she feels for herself, and that she thinks everyone should do things for her.
I then said that due to this harassment from them and her overall attitude that she thinks the world owes her something it has now become personal.
I told him I was going to block all of them ’cause I’m a full-time uni student and I work and have my own life and problems and couldn’t handle this immaturity.
He then accused me of “running away” and “not facing the truth.” Like what the heck?! What truth?? The simple fact is that asking respectfully and directed my roommate to uphold her responsibility is not bullying her and she needs to start to do her own stuff. I eventually blocked him, but I have been at my partner’s house for 2 days now, and I honestly don’t feel comfortable going home. Every time I come up with solutions, she gets offended and starts a big fight like this.”
7. You're Not Kim Kardashian, Princess
“She sets the heater and air conditioning to full blast in the winter and summer, respectively. The utility bill is $200/month because she runs it constantly. When you try and set it to a reasonable temperature, she will pull a bullcrap excuse such as anemia. She has a myriad of issues, most of which stem from her vegetarian diet and by vegetarian, I mean microwaving some Doritos covered in shredded cheese.
Over break, she let her ghetto friends stay in her room while she and everyone else was out of town. She never once mentioned this to anyone living in the house. The house smelled like hook-ups and illegal substances afterward.
She idolizes the Kardashians and that lifestyle, constantly watching Real Basketball Wives or whatever it’s called. This means she parties constantly, coming home intoxicated, playing music, slamming doors and talking on the phone.
When you ask her to be quiet, she replies that this is a college town and college students stay up all night; you just have to accept that.
Every couple of months, she has a family come clean her room because she is such a slob.
She has roaches in her bathroom. They carry out garbage bags of junk each time. She can’t even change a lightbulb- no really, she called the rental agency to come out and do it.
Dishes are left in the sink for weeks at a time, and food molds in the fridge.
She adopted an adorable dog but ended up returning it after two weeks when she realized how much work it was.
She tells everyone that she’s going to be a doctor, but the truth is, she got kicked out of her major of neurobiology and had to switch to anthropology or leave the university.
I’d be very afraid if she ever became a doctor.
Every time you try to confront this girl, she turns it around and makes herself look like the victim. She’s a jerk.”
6. Going Ballistic And Breaking Everything
“Living in a college student-only apartment building, I requested a move to a new room because of party animal roommates.
Rooms are all five bedroom suites with shared bathrooms, kitchen, and living room.
As it’s summer, three of the bedrooms in the new room are rented but empty by students not there for the summer, and only one roommate is actually present.
Meet the new roommate, seems normal, chill, talk about video games and music a lot.
Honestly seemed like he could be a great friend at first.
One day a few weeks later, I start hearing random screaming and crashing coming from his room. At one point he knocks on my door, asking for a broom, as he’s broken a few things.
I give him a dustpan and broom and ask if he’s okay, he mumbles something to himself as he walks back to his room and slams the door.
A few hours later, more screaming, more crashing, and again he knocks on the door, this time asking for some tape. I give him some and again ask if he’s okay, and he replies he might need to go to the mental hospital but I don’t need to do anything.
I go to bed with some earplugs in (a habit I’d formed because of previous party animal roommates), and the next morning our shared kitchen and living room is TRASHED.
Broken furniture, drawers and cabinets torn off the wall, a knife sticking out of the wall, TV cratered in as if it was punched, the whole nine.
Luckily for me, I’m leaving for a family event that weekend, so I decide to head out early and leave right that second (after taking pictures of the damage.)
On my way out of the building, I stop at the building manager’s office to tell her everything.
She already knew something was up, as apparently a window from his room was smashed and objects were thrown onto the sidewalk below.
She asks me to write up an email detailing what I’d seen and provided her the pictures I took. I do so and bail.
A few hours later, I get a text from a friend who works near my building saying “LOL bro there’s a ton of cops surrounding your building.
What happened?”
I emailed the building manager to ask what happened, but she tells me the police were inside our suite, but she can’t detail what happened with him due to privacy concerns.
A few days later, going back to the building, I pop in her office to ask the building manager for details or warnings before I go up.
She’s not there, but her assistant is. I ask the assistant, whose only reply to my concerns is “You know, the eviction process takes a really long time.”
I go up to the room, freaking out and expecting the worst, but luckily he’s not around at the moment.
I didn’t see him again for a couple of days, and once I did, he acted completely casually and as if nothing had happened.
Casually asking about video games and random crap standing in an apartment with completely torn apart cabinets and furniture.
A week or so later, he’s gone without a trace. Apparently, his family forced him to move back home and defer going to college so he could get better.
Apparently when I’d left for that weekend, why the police showed up, the building manager contacted the roommate’s father, but when the father showed up, the roommate flew off the handle (people who were nearby/present differ in stories) so the police had to show up and break into the room.
He seemed to have a history of mental illness and had a few events in his life that caused this breakdown.
Good news, a year and a half later I see on social media he ended up finishing college, has a full-time job, and seems to be functioning very well.”
5. Leave My Mom Out Of This
Immaturity at its finest.
“We called her The Kraken. She was the most irrational human being I have ever met.
There were three roommates, and we all sucked at doing the dishes. Supposedly, it was my turn (although, heck no it wasn’t, and the majority of the dishes were not mine, but whatever), so she texted me about how I needed to do them right that minute. Well, I was in class, so it needed to wait.
She starts talking about how immature I am and irresponsible. I laughed it off, because she was the same as me, and told her it would get done when I got to it. She didn’t like that, and somehow got my mom’s cell phone number (either from my traitor roommate or her mole in the front office, which would have been illegal). This witch freaking calls my mom: short story, The Kraken tells my mom to tell me to do the dishes.
My awesome, sweet, polite mother called me and said she didn’t like the way that young woman spoke to her, but maybe I should just do the dishes and from then on, keep my stuff separate. That was the last time I did anyone else’s dishes for them.
But before that. After moving in mid-semester, her partner (J) became pretty good friends with mine (B). J started going over to B’s apartment often to hang out, claiming it was to “get away” from her.
They would periodically fight, and one time we saw scratches on his face (he never touched her first, at least that’s how it sounded through the thin walls). But she was always nice to us, and we couldn’t tell him what to do.
One day, The Kraken decided to fly to another city for the day. J didn’t have a vehicle, so he borrowed hers to take her to the airport in the morning.
B and I were not aware, but he was supposed to pick her up that night from the airport. But apparently, while she was on her trip, all she did the entire day was text J and berate him for whatever issues they had. So he decided to stay at B’s and hang out, instead of picking her up—entirely unbeknownst to B and I.
When I get home late that night, The Kraken is furious.
She says J is not allowed in our apartment anymore, and since he was at B’s apartment, B is not allowed anymore either. Oh heck no, sweetheart. My man didn’t do anything to you, and he’s my guest, not yours.
After attempting to get me evicted for letting my man sleep in my room sometimes (Gosh darn hypocrite, did the same thing ’til she got angry at J), she eventually figured out the only way to anger me is to not pay her portion of the electricity bill.
(This wasn’t a college dorm, but still had weird rules. Everyone paid their own rent, but the electricity bill had to be in one person’s name, and everyone had to be on the honor system that they would pay that individual back).
After not paying for a couple of months, my mom texted her telling her the right thing to do is to pay her portion (especially since it would be 60 degrees outside and she comes in cold after everyone’s in bed, so she turns the HEAT on for the rest of the night), and this witch’s response is that, “Maybe if your daughter didn’t spend as much money on smoking stuff as she does, she could have covered the bill.” What the actual HECK, witch? So much wrong with that.
At least I got her a pretty hefty fine for taking in a puppy and not paying the pet deposit.
That poor thing, though. She would put it out on the balcony all day and leave him there because he wasn’t potty trained and she gave up on him after a week or two. This was in the middle of the summer in Texas. I tried calling animal services but never got a response. Just a dumb witch all around. If you’re horrible to animals, you’re a horrible person.”
4. She Moved In Her Terrible Partner Without Permission
“So we used to be roommates with her and her significant other, and then she left him, and then he moved to another state, and then she moved back in, and it turned out that he was like the ONLY thing keeping her from going off on everybody.
Within about a month, she’d gotten a new man who started staying over basically every night. She gave him a key to our apartment, and he’d hang out at our house when she was at work.
He was a super aggressive dude who was a jerk even when he tried to be friendly (our first encounter with him was him sneering at us for having such a “pedestrian” favorite doctor). We didn’t care for him, and he started making a fuss about things like moving his backpack and crap off our (as in mine and my significant other’s) dining room table when we wanted to use it.
We used to ask him, but he’d huff and puff, so we started just moving it off ourselves, and that REALLY made him angry.
At one point, we asked her that if SHE had problems with what we were doing and if she could be the one to tell us and not send him to do it (which she had started doing) because she was the one paying rent.
That conversation turned very quickly into her explaining why she couldn’t do that because she was afraid of confrontation, and we couldn’t ever move his stuff off the table because he’d had a bad roommate experience, and he didn’t like people touching his stuff. I pushed for an actual solution, and she said that we would have to figure that out with him. When we tried to say, “Uh, but he doesn’t live here; he is your guest,” and she got REALLY upset and started crying about how we didn’t want her to be with him and be happy.
Clearly not productive. My favorite justification of his crappy behavior, though, was, “He’s a pirate. When I met him, he told me he’s a pirate, and, yeah, he’s not kidding.” Um… OK.
We started looking for another place to live… but then it escalated. Her man was smoking almost every day on our patio (super against both lease agreement and city laws), and one day, the woman who lived above us came down to ask us to stop because she had just moved in, and her kids were asthmatic.
So we told our roommate, and she said she’d tell her partner. Two days later, he was out there smoking again. My significant other went out to remind him he couldn’t do that anymore…
And everything hit the fan.
They spent the next two hours SCREAMING at him about how her partner had “every right” to live and smoke in our apartment, accusing us of lying about the woman from upstairs even existing, and demanding that if we had problems with him, we should talk to him ourselves and not try to make our roommate responsible for her guest (’cause that was going really well).
Things got weird and bad, fast.
We found an apartment and paid exorbitant amounts to be able to move in the next weekend because we no longer felt safe in our home, because if saying, “Hey, reminder: it’s no smoking” was going to lead to a physical threat, clearly both of them were terrifyingly unhinged.
A fun addendum to the story: After we moved out, our apartment complex told us if someone replaced us in the apartment, we could just transfer the lease over to them and not be on it at all anymore — great for us if they got kicked out for on-property smoking or moving in illegal roommates.
So she found new roommates, we were all ready to sign, but it turns out that the new roommates needed an extra deposit that they couldn’t afford for a couple of weeks. She moved ’em in anyway without telling anyone (including us). The office found out, and she LOST HER MIND when office people told her they couldn’t stay there without being on the lease and all about how the office took too long to respond, and she had “no choice” but to do any of this.
When the deposit finally got paid, and we signed off, the office person said, “Yeah, they’re getting noise complaints every night. Apparently, they’re playing loud music late at night and screaming at each other. I am so glad you got out of there before you got caught up in this.”
Every so often, I have to drive by the apartment. They have hung a giant pirate flag over the only window.”
3. Just Plain Irresponsible
“Slick and I had been friends since 6th grade, so 8-9 years at this point, I figured it would be safer than my last roommate, Pablo. It wasn’t.
He had two jobs and a partner of four years when he moved in. He also had a dog, a cat, and a snake when he moved in; I didn’t have any pets. The cat wasn’t supposed to come with him.
The first time I ever met the cat, it was terrified of everyone and still was up until the day he moved in. With the cat situation, no biggie; I dealt with it.
Then within two weeks of moving in, he dumped his girl of four years via text message. A scummy thing to do but not really my place to judge. Anyway, his dog was pretty cool, well-behaved, smart, nice dog, when he was around.
When he wasn’t, it got into everything, chewed on everything, acted like a maniac. I came to realize when he lived there why his dog acted like that and his cat was terrified of people. He was an animal abusing jerk. I didn’t know because I never saw it before that. We never hung out at his old place, so when the dog was around, it behaved perfectly.
After breaking up with his girl, he tried to become an instant lady’s man, but it didn’t work too well (thats not why I called him Slick), but he bragged a lot. He ended up meeting this girl who had a partner at the time. She was a friend of a mutual friend’s girl. She was a pretty garbage person as she had everyone attempting to lie to her man about where she was and what she was doing and this who.
I didn’t know the guy, which was good for her because I wouldn’t have lied for her. She lived with this guy that worked two jobs to support her, and while he was at work, was messing around with my roommate who also had lots of free time because he got fired from one of his jobs a month after moving in. He was fired for going 140 in a 100 zone in a company car and would have lost his license if he hadn’t cried to make the cop feel bad for him.
After he lost his job, he started being late with bills. I was back at college, so I didn’t have extra money lying around to pay when he was late. That just added to the stress of it all. While they were messing around, she would bring her dog to the apartment, which at first I didn’t mind as long as it wasn’t going to happen a lot.
I was petless, and his three were already too much, especially when he never cleaned up after them. I ended up saying no dog after it did its business on the floor because they were both ignoring it. His dog would frequently be let out onto the balcony to go to the bathroom, something I had, at the time, thought I ended as soon as I found out.
She ended up breaking up with her patner and started seeing Slick, something I tried to warn him about.
This happened shortly after Christmas. He was almost a month late with rent in January because he bought himself 2 more snakes for Christmas instead, something I didn’t know about at the time and was super angry about when I found out a week later. After they started seeing each other, it only got worse.
He almost got fired from his other job, stopped cleaning up after himself or his pets, would disappear for days at a time with the dog without saying anything or making sure his cat had food and water. During this time, the cat and I actually started to get along pretty well; he realized not all people are abusive, neglectful jerks.
When he returned, the dog would eat 2 days’ worth of food in one sitting, presumably because it hadn’t eaten in two days.
The rule for his girl’s dog still stood, and neither of them were happy about it. Things started going missing when she was around: movies, money from my charge jar, among other things. The bathroom would smell like smoke after she was there, even though he swore she didn’t smoke. Once winter hit, he started letting the dog use the balcony as a toilet again, something I didn’t know until the snow melted.
Late February, I got home late, and we greeted by her dog barking from his room; I told him it had to go. She left with the dog, came back 15 minutes later without it, at the time I thought she brought it to a friend’s of his that lived in the same building. Turns out, she locked it in his car for the last two hours she was there.
In the middle of Canadian winter. It was -15°C, or -4°F. It was a small dog; I’m surprised it didn’t die. When I found out, I came close to snapping. New rule: she was no longer welcome because between the dog getting locked in a car in the winter and my things going missing, I was done with her.
Not surprisingly, this didn’t bode well for what was left of our friendship.
We didn’t talk much in the following weeks, and he tried to argue against her being banned from the apartment, but I was unwilling to give in. It only got worse from there as all the things he was doing became more severe, until I lost patience a week into April when he told me he wouldn’t be paying rent until the end of the month; car insurance was more important. Between all of his drama going on, stress from school, and the fact that I had all but lost what was once a good friend, I had a panic attack. The only one I’ve ever had. After talking things through with my dad, I mustered enough courage to confront him.”
2. They Didn't Want To Pitch In And Help
“As the year lease is almost but over, I have taken time to realize that living with your best friends may not be at all what you thought it out to be.
In the months leading up to getting the house with my 2 best friends, everything seemed to be going nicely. The 3 of us talked about how good it’d finally be to have a place of our own, how things will be much better now that we live together, and how we’re now away from the tyrannical rule of our parents.
It all played out so well in my head.
Fast forward to a month in the house, and I realize my 2 best friends are lazier than I thought.
I’ll call them Dan and Aaron. Both Dan and Aaron seem to have something against flushing the toilet. (Disgusting, right?) Every morning, I’d walk into the bathroom to see a big number 2 floating in the toilet bowl.
At first, I didn’t let it get to me; I thought that maybe they were in a hurry, and they’d just forget to flush before they left.
2 months in, and it was still happening, but that wasn’t the only issue that was bothering me at this point.
In the 2 months that we had been here, neither of the two had even washed a dish, took out the trash, or bought any groceries. It really started to irk me because, mind you, these were my best friends, and never would I have thought they would have been this way.
Before we moved in, they spoke about wanting a clean and nice house, but I guess it was only a lie.
After 3 months, the same things were happening, so I eventually started to become upset and began hinting at how tired I’ve been having to work 10 hour days and come home and have to be the only one to do household work, to which I was met with the reply of, “Man, that sucks.” Man, that sucks? I was enraged! I was trying to vent thinking maybe they’d think, “Oh man, he’s having to do everything.
Maybe we should help,” but I guess I was gravely mistaken.
4 months in, and I was fed up. At this point, I was still doing everything I mentioned above and also mowing the yard, furnishing the house, buying all the laundry soap, and purchasing shower and bathroom products. I tried asking them numerous times to help or to clean up after themselves, and it was the same reply over and over, “Bro, I’ll get to it eventually,” but they’d never “get to it.”
There was a point in time where I didn’t do anything in the house for 2 weeks, and boy, did everything go to crap!
The toilet was nearly full with feces, the dishes were stacked on the counter because the sink was full, the pantry and the fridge were empty, the trash was overflowing to the point where everything was falling onto the floor, and the house was becoming increasingly more messy day by day.
I eventually caved and had to spend a whole day cleaning everything. These were supposed to be my best friends, but they obviously had no respect for me or the house itself.
5 months in, and I had gotten to the point where I became a nagger and a complainer, but it was all for good reason. I had to constantly remind them to flush the toilet, take out the trash when it was their turn, mow the yard when it was their turn, and attempt to have them buy groceries when we had none.
Both of them would get home from work and go straight to their rooms onto their computers where they would sit up till 7 am playing games and constantly eating food and dirtying up dishes that they would never clean.
We’d make trips to Walmart where I’m spending up to 300 dollars on groceries to their measly 20 bucks each buying a TV dinner and claiming that was doing their part.
They’d eat up all the food I’d bought while I wasn’t home, and they’d never replace it. I honestly started to resent my best friends at this point.
They’d make me out to be the problem because I wanted help. I’d do everything in the house but get called a nagger when I asked for help.
They would constantly throw how much more money they’d have than me in my face.
“Bro, my bank account is sitting at $5k right now. You only have $2k? Lol.” I’d tell them it was because I’m literally the only one who takes the house seriously and that I’m the one buying everything; therefore, I’m going broke because of it.
“Nah bro, you just don’t know how to save.”
7 months in, and it was so bad, they were literally using the excuse, “You know I’m lazy, so why even ask?” I kid you not, both of them would literally say that.
I’d ask them to wash their dishes once every 2 weeks, and they would literally say that. To keep things civil at the house, I couldn’t even mention anything about the house, or they would get angry and try to gang up on me saying I worried and complained too much. They were completely taking advantage of me, and I was fully aware of it. Just so I didn’t live in filth, I’d have to hunker down and do everything.
I hate living with tension, so I just stopped asking them to do anything because it always ended up with one of them trying to fight me over it (NO LIE).
It may sound like I’m a pushover, but while all this was going on, I was dealing with extreme depression caused by 5 family member deaths within a 6-month span. Normally I would not stand for such disrespect, but losing that many family members in such a short time really messed me up to the point where I lost all care of anything other than my house itself.
I already had enough stress from doing everything, and then my family dying made it worse.
The last thing my mental health needed was fighting my roommates and living in a constant anxious state of if a fight was going to happen or not.
You’d think them being my best friends while all my family members were dying, they would have stood up and helped me, but they did not.
I guess some people just really don’t care, and that’s Dan and Aaron.
10 months in, and I couldn’t even look at them without getting angry. Everything they did or said set me off.
I was still doing everything without help. I’d work 6 to 7 days a week, 10 hours a day, going to the gym after work, and I’d still have to come home and deal with their crap and clean the house as well, as usual.
My 2 “best friends” would work, come home, and jump on their computers and guzzle down fast food and scream at the game they were playing till 7 or 8 am every day.
A few weeks ago, I finally was fed up.
I came home from work one night to find Aaron sitting in my chair playing my Playstation. The living room was my domain basically because they never left their rooms.
My only happiness was coming home, sitting in my chair, and watching a movie until I was tired and then retreating to my room shortly after, and Aaron knew this. I was extremely tired from a hard day at work and the gym, and I calmly asked him to get up, so I could enjoy my night before heading to bed like I do every night, but he said no around 4 times, despite me asking in a friendly manner.
All that pent up rage inside me just started to boil, and nothing at this point could stop it from exploding out.
I walked over to my chair and used all the power I had to flip him over. He jumped up and grappled me, knocking over a table in the process. I overpowered him and got him in a headlock and squeezed so hard my arms went numb until Dan came in and broke it up.
Aaron stood up and started yelling and so did I.
I went off on a 20-minute rant that I guess hit home so hard for the both of them that they couldn’t even muster up a single rational reply because they knew they were in the wrong this whole time.
After that, they went to their rooms and followed their usual nightly gaming routine, but they were quiet.
I informed them the next morning before work that this last month, I’m not doing anything for the house, don’t even look at me, or talk to me, and if they want the safety deposit back, they better get their butts in gear and start cleaning.
They didn’t say a word. Ever since then, they have been cleaning and buying groceries and also trying to joke around and talk to me like normal.
I play the part and act like nothing happened, and everything is normal, but in reality, I’m counting down that 15 days until the lease is up, and after that, my own place, here I come.
I guess what they say about not knowing someone until you actually live with them is true.
I do believe I lost my 2 so-called best friends after that whole ordeal, but it allowed me to step back and actually view the friendship I had with the 2 of them in a different light, and I don’t think I can force myself to be friends with them after this.
They say some friendships are ruined when you move in with your friends, and unfortunately, that’s what happened to me. Hopefully to anyone who is reading this doesn’t have to go through the heck that I had to endure. Really stoked about getting my own place now, haha…”
1. She Threatened To Throw My Belongings In The Yard
“I originally signed a year lease with my landlord in August, but both my roommate’s belittling has caused me to move out this weekend.
One roommate lives in the basement, and the other directly across the hall from me.
I (22 F) have never gotten along with my roommates (23 F and 28 F). Ever since day one, the feelings toward them have never changed. I moved in thinking I would have privacy and free roam around the house, like using common areas, etc.
It started off with them accusing me of stealing/drinking their booze and other misc items around the house that would disappear and then reappear again. There are many people coming in and out of the house such as significant others (since my roommate’s brother also lives with us).
I have proposed the idea that someone outside of the house was taking their stuff, and they still blamed me for it.
When I first moved in, both complained about minor messes I had left in the kitchen, such as crumbs and water spills. They would take pictures of the mess and harass me over text message. They would tell me (multiple times) that I need to “be responsible for my actions.” Ever since then, I have always taken a second look at the kitchen before I go up to my bedroom.
No conflict since.. about this topic, anyways.
I would use common areas frequently, like the kitchen and the living room, since the living room contains my couches and my TV. When I had my man over every other weekend, that is when I generally used the living room.
The roommate across the hall stated that “I use the living room too much,” and she feels like she can’t have her friends over.
I told her that she can have whoever she wants over and to let me know, so I make sure not to use the common area during that time.
There is no point in utilizing a living room if you can’t relax, right?
The issue with the roommate across the hall progressed as she brought my man into the argument, stating that “he is over too much” and that she doesn’t like him, isn’t respectful, etc.
She brought up the lease and told me that the lease states that “all tenant’s guests must be respectful.” She threatened to kick me off of the lease if I did not follow the lease.
For context, her parents are my landlords, so for whatever reason, she feels entitled to say that.
I brought that up with my landlords immediately, and they stated that she has no right or power to say that.
Anyways, she told my landlords, aka, her parents, that I had my partner over too much, which the lease states 6 days and nights/month when my roommate in the basement has her partner over at least 5 days a week and stays over every weekend. She stated that she had signed a “different lease” than me and stated that the other roommate’s man is “respectful,” which I’m calling major BS on.
Her parents are really good friends with her partner’s family, so there is a bit of favoritism I feel that is going on there.
I told the roommate across the hall not to talk to me because I am fed up and want personal space.
She called her parents and threw a fit, banging on tables, and yelling at the top of her lungs.
After a few months, it was Christmas, and I was on vacation in Oregon with my man.
I wasn’t at the house for at least 2 weeks, and when I come home, the floor is covered in debris.
I was really exhausted from my trip but summed up the energy to sweep and mop. A few days pass, and I was blamed for the house being a mess the previous week. This was my boiling point.
I am very a shy person who absolutely hates confrontation and conflict, but both of the women have tipped me off.
So, when the 2019 sickness started spreading, and when the state issued a stay-at-home order, my roommate in the basement was still allowing her man to come over.
I messaged both roommates as both my roommate across the hall and myself are immunocompromised: me having asthma and the other having surgery about a month ago. The roommate downstairs stated that “we both don’t touch anything, and he is very respectful, and all we do is stay in my room.
He is still coming over no matter what.” That is when I retaliated and responded with something snarky like, “I’m telling the landlords.” I won that argument, and ever since then, she has been nothing but spiteful towards me.
At this point around April 15th, I got in a huge argument with the roommate across the hall. I was on FaceTime/Duo with my partner. The time was around 10-11 p.m., and I was being very considerate as I knew they were asleep.
My roommate’s brother was eavesdropping on my conversation and woke his sister up. She told me I needed to be quiet and get off of the phone. I then told her no because they were stalking and listening in on my call.
I escalated, which it wasn’t right to, by calling her all of the names in the book. She stated that she was scared of me, to which at this point, I didn’t really care; anything for her to leave me alone.
I told her we need to get along/tolerate each other for the next month because that is when my lease is set to end. I felt very bad the next morning and apologized as I said some very mean things…but it did feel good to get 6 months of suffering off of my chest.
A month goes by, and I haven’t talked to either of my roommates.
I’ve kept to myself and haven’t really been using the common areas, to avoid them at all costs.
This week, I have started to move all of my stuff out of my bedroom since I am moving on Saturday. My roommate hasn’t used the garage to park her car in about a month, so I thought it was alright to use part of the space to place my furniture.
Well, she freaked out on me and told me I need to move my stuff. I told her no because there is no other space to put my stuff for the time being, and it’s only 2 days away before everything is out of the house.
She asked me why I couldn’t keep my stuff in my room until Saturday. I responded that “I don’t want to be here any longer and see you mofo ever again, and I want to leave and get everything out ASAP.” She said that she needed the space to park her car in case it hails.
Upon checking the forecast, there is no rain or hail on the radar for the next week. She then stated that she was going to throw my stuff out in the yard if I didn’t move it.
I ended up moving it to another location in the garage and then contacted my landlord about it. He said that he couldn’t believe how uncivil the living situation has gotten and that he will be in contact with both roommates to be accomodating.
I’m just seriously done with all of the drama here.
I feel like I’m in high school all over again. I always hated coming home knowing I have to deal with these jerks every day. I’m not comfortable living here and have been confined to my room for the past few months. I’ve recently been laid off, so it makes the situation even worse.”
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