People Give Us The Nuts And Bolts Of Their "Am I The Jerk?" Stories

Clearly, his daughter was not okay.

"Last week was my stepdaughter's (SD) 14th birthday. She was in the hospital days prior for a medical issue, and now she's better. My husband threw her a small birthday party.

Unbeknownst to me, my boys (16) & (12) decided to pull a funny prank and mess with the birthday cake that they made for her.

Instead of adding icing to the cake, they added mayonnaise. It didn't go well, and my SD's reaction was to cry. My husband blew up at the boys for what they did, but they said they were just trying to prank her since it's the norm, and they always prank each other. My husband said it was the wrong time to do this on her birthday, especially after getting out of the hospital. He told the boys they ruined her birthday, but I told him he exaggerated with this statement. He got upset and yelled at me for defending this behavior and being an enabler. I don't think I am because the boys love her that's why they act like this, but my husband was having none of it.

Both he and SD aren't speaking to me or the boys. AITJ for saying he exaggerated?"

Another User Comments:

"YTJ. They did something that would have been incredibly cruel at any time but was especially cruel given the circumstances.

I'm sure the boys saw it as just a prank, but they should have known better. It's not the same as if an adult had done it, but both are still old enough to know it was wrong, even if they lacked the maturity and understanding of an adult.

But what really gets me is that while I can say their youth influenced their understanding of this, you are an adult. You saw your stepdaughter crying. You knew she'd been through heck lately. You also knew that this changed everything about the party. One second she was happy, looking forward to cake, but the next she's taking a bite of something disgusting.

And then what? Even if someone went out and bought another, the feeling's not the same. And you saw all this and came to the rescue...of your sons. Who did this to her.

You know, kids learn right and wrong from their parents. Lots of kids do mean pranks, not realizing it's not funny.

But they learn from the reaction of their parents. You just taught them this behavior is okay. Maybe the reason they thought it was okay in the first place was because of you. YTJ." FrederickChase

Another User Comments:

"YTJ, and you're raising your sons to be the jerk too, by not just allowing that behavior but also excusing it when they're confronted with the consequences of their own actions.

You definitely are an enabler, and your kids are going to grow up to be intolerable because of it.

Pranking isn't "the norm." It's usually an excuse for jerks to do absolutely jerkish things and then be able to say, "It's just a joke, lighten up!" It's not funny unless everybody's laughing, and if somebody is CRYING then it's not a funny time for everyone, it's bullying.

They managed to not only OBVIOUSLY ruin her birthday but also make it all about themselves.

And you did absolutely zero to fix it. You brushed it off, and I'm going to guess here that you also didn't do anything to remedy your boys' VERY BAD judgment, by for instance running out immediately to buy an actual cake and some extra presents while you were at it.

Good God." ChurchyardGrimm

Another User Comments:

"YTJ x3, because I'm putting your boys' behavior on you. Stop enabling super poor behavior. That was a mean-spirited prank pulled during a vulnerable time in your SD's life. Properly raised children would recognize that and realize this is a time for support and empathy.

Any jokes should be funny and not targeted at her. But apparently, you've never properly taught your boys this, so they're going to do the standard "it was just a joke!" justification horsecrap despite the obvious harm their "joke" has caused." Apprehensive_Secret2