People Ask For Our Opinion On Their Compelling "Am I The Jerk?" Stories

"My son (6m) is autistic and he is non-verbal with a lot of sensory issues. He has very restrictive eating and his list of safe foods is very low, which is something being worked on with a feeding therapist, but he's struggling through feeding therapy and is not yet at a point where he has many options.

In his safe foods are a specific brand of roast potatoes, a type of fruit cup, and one type of chicken bites. Very very rarely he will eat something else so we always do our best to have those safe foods on hand and in good supply. But the chicken bites have been unavailable for the last three weeks and for the last two weeks, we had some money issues after some trouble with our house. This meant we did not have as much to spend on groceries last week and because of this, I was extra vigilant about making sure the safe foods were secure for my son especially because he doesn't eat a lot regardless so it's important he has something available for him.

My stepdaughter (16f) saw the last of the chicken bites and wanted them for herself. I told her she couldn't have them because her brother needed them. We were running low on other stuff and I needed everything to keep us going until my husband got paid again.

My stepdaughter said she didn't care and she wanted them and should have them. I refused to let her have them and offered her something else instead. She complained that she wanted nothing else and I told her she could eat something else but her brother could not. When my husband got home he backed up my decision and my stepdaughter was so mad.

She told my husband's parents and then they were mad. They said I should have let her eat them and encouraged my son to eat something different instead of making her find something else.

That she's old enough to get to choose what she eats. They also said I made her hate us more (me and her two siblings). My stepdaughter also told her maternal grandparents (her mom passed away while I was pregnant with my son) and they were furious and said I have no right to stop her and how dare we act like she cares about my kids eating or not eating.

My stepdaughter has been especially angry since and I sat her down and apologized if I upset her by saying no. She told me I didn't have the right to stop her because I'm not her parent and she doesn't care if my kid starves.

We're nothing to her. She told my husband's parents I had tried to talk to her and they rubbed it in more. My husband was furious with his parents and he's still on my side. But I feel so worn down by this.

AITJ?"

Another User Comments:

"NTJ. Obviously, you can't have your son starve. The biggest jerks by far are the grandparents feeding into this. This isn't about the nuggets, this is a power struggle thing - she's calling in reinforcements, and it's bigger than a snack.

In integrated families, it's often the other children who feel the most neglected and unseen, or get forced into caretaker roles, and need therapy the most. This acting out seems rather disproportional, but it's likely her lightning rod for a bunch of complex feelings.

If you don't already have a team of mental health professionals helping with your stepdaughter, your son's eating, and your entire family dynamics, you're doing all of you a massive disservice." broccolicat

Another User Comments:

"NTJ. Maybe this is crazy on my part but I honestly think that you should have her go live with the grandparents.

If she is this angry and hateful about the three of you, that she's OK with your kid starving, then maybe she needs to live somewhere else.

She doesn't care about your kid and will willingly destroy or eat his safe foods. That's not a person you want around you or the kids.

Maybe I'm mean, but who knows what she's going to do in retaliation to this? I don't know why she's so angry, and yes she does need therapy. But it might be best for your family if she went to live with one set of grandparents since they don't think your home is good enough for her. I think this would be my last straw and I'd want her out. If she's OK with my kid starving then she can get out." New-Link5725