People Talk About Their Outlandish Revenge Stories
30. I Used Music As A Weapon
“I had just bought my first house. From the start, my next-door neighbor was not friendly. No problem, I’ll just ignore the guy and move on. But this guy was retired and spent all day outside on his porch and would stare me down, not saying a word, the entire time I was mowing or doing chores or getting my mail. I would say ‘hi’ and wave but got nothing in return, ever.
Well, I’m not the kind of person to be intimidated with a little staring contest and I ended up being just as obnoxious. When he would stare me down I would either A) be super nice and talkative and generally annoy him with my outgoing nature or B) drop what I was doing and join the staring competition (explaining to him that this was not a game he was going win.
The whole time I was staring back at him, taunting him).
After about 2 years of this treatment, he started talking and oh-boy was he angry at me. Yelling at me for nonsense stuff, called me ‘boy’ a few times. Then came the ‘finger gun’ and ‘shotgun air pumps’. To explain this, he would aim his finger gun at me, arm fully outstretched with full eye contact, and mime pulling the trigger and also pumping an imaginary shotgun sometimes.
Picture being looked at from the moment you leave your car to your front door. Full-on eye contact the entire time. Being tracked from door to door, being watched while walking down the street to your front door getting his full attention. Now picture taking out your trash or getting the mail and being tracked, with full eye contact, every step of the way. Checking your mail and having that person turn their full body to look you straight in the eye and say nothing.
Every. Single. Time. No reprieve, no wave, no nods, no pleasantries, no chill. Just full-on turning around, positioning his body to look at you. And then add a little mime about being shot.
So, I asked myself, how do you deal with crazy without a face-to-face confrontation every time? Oh yeah! I play an acoustic guitar. I went to the music shop after the first ‘shotgun air pump’ and got an amber-colored Les Paul and a 60W tube amp and now, all of a sudden, I play the electric guitar.
I then mounted that big amp under the window closest to his usual perch. At one point I had put up security cams and one just happened to be pointing at his perch (a topic he loved to scream about). The setup was complete: a fully electric guitar rig right next to my office PC that showed a live security feed.
Every time I could catch him outside on his perch I warmed up the amp, dropped whatever I was doing, and got in a jam session.
VERY LOUD. LOUD!! LOUDER!! I got professional, stage-quality earplugs and everything. The amp was giving up teeth-rattling vibrations. I ended up building a $2000 paddleboard with an assortment of distortion and looping effects. A Wah peddle for extra joy!
I liked playing grunge and metal, cause it was the loudest. I got into a place, musically, where I would play Grateful Dead songs, in the style of punk rock, for hours.
(If you’re not into jam bands, you’re really not going to like punk jam bands, lol)
I played guitar basically every day for about 4 years right in his face. Windows open, windows closed, morning/noon/night it didn’t matter (have you ever played Nirvana poorly at 7:30 am at a volume of 5-6 on a really big amp? It is… Sublime). If he was out there and I was home, I played guitar.
He would get up and leave and go inside only to come back out a little while later with a drink or something. And then I would start playing again. Rinse and repeat… for years.
He never called the cops. He threatened it but never made good. He also never got the hint and he kept up his side of the feud with escalating screaming and taunts whenever I was outside, every time I was outside.
Again, this went on for about 4 years (6 years total at this point).
One random Monday, I had been stuck in traffic for about 2 hours after work and was very annoyed. I got home and had a few whiskeys and played my guitar for about 5 hours, RAGING the whole time. Went to bed. Woke up the next morning to tapping on my windows closest to his perch.
It was a cop tapping on the window. I went outside and the cop said he was doing a wellness check on my neighbor. He missed an appointment or something and his son couldn’t get a hold of him on the phone. He was not answering his door. Hours passed and the sun comes over and opens the house. Sure enough, my neighbor had passed away from a heart attack.
The last thing he probably heard was me blowing off steam, LOUDLY, in the key of A. I have taken a lot of joy from that likely possibility. It has been two years since he passed and I have played my electric guitar only about a dozen times since then, I just can’t find the rage any longer. Every day since his passing has been, more or less, stress-free.
I should note that our houses are built like concrete bunkers and sound doesn’t make it very far. I asked around but no other neighbor ever said a word about loud music from my house. But, he heard every single note wherever he was in his house or outside.”
29. Got $40K For "Accidentally" Confiding A "Secret" To A Gossiping Coworker
“I worked at a chain salon in the US for minimum wage (+tips). We got paid on a sliding scale, the more you added services the more your hourly pay. Then, for back to school, we started offering $10 haircuts. It’s dumb to offer a big discount on back to school because that’s when everyone needs a haircut but whatever.
Except, to advertise this sale we had to stand on a rickety step stool and hang a 10-foot long 3-foot wide banner off the roof of our store.
The step stool alone made it a dangerous task, but on top of it, the sidewalk was uneven. Our manager insisted we do it twice a day (open&close) ‘in case someone steals the banner’. Because certainly, someone would want to steal a banner with our logo that says ‘$10 Haircuts’.
It was annoying but I was looking forward to my next paycheck. I had a high service dollar per hour which should’ve meant a bigger hourly pay & paycheck.
Except it didn’t. That $7/haircut discount? It was coming out of our final service dollar calculations and we ended up making significantly less than usual! I’d worked there for years and this was the smallest back-to-school paycheck I’d ever seen.
I went in the next day and was annoyed. That morning, a coworker (who was a total brown-nose & gossip) and I were outside setting up the banner.
It was my turn to stand on the rickety step stool and I said I was ‘glad this will be the last time I ever do this!’ I was fully prepared to make a joke about how I was going to fall and crack my head open when the petty revenge idea came into my mind and I swiftly executed it. When she asked why, I told her not to tell anyone but I’d accepted a job at another salon with a set schedule, higher commission, and $5 more an hour.
I said I’d planned on putting in my two weeks but they needed me to start sooner so I was going to work the weekend and not come back. This would leave us understaffed for the back-to-school rush. After reiterating she could NOT tell ANYONE, especially not our boss, she agreed.
I left early that day and on my next shift, my boss pulled me into her office.
She said she’d ‘heard a rumor’ that I was leaving to work at a different salon. I told her I had a much better offer elsewhere but if she could match that I would love to stay. She had to put a call into our district leader about the raise but said I could work with a set schedule starting the following week. I was working until 9 pm some days and at 9 am the next, the unpredictable schedule made finding childcare a pain in the butt! I was consistently ranked #2 in sales for our store and the district, so the DL approved the raise and I stayed there another five years! This means I got an additional $39,000 in pay for ‘accidentally’ telling the salon gossip my ‘secret’.
I also got a 20% commission on $500-$1000 a week in product sales.
I also started printing out my service sales slip from the day before at the beginning of every shift, so that when payroll ‘readjusted’ the paychecks to include coupons I could pull up my record and dispute it. According to payroll, there was nothing they could do about it. I stayed another five years, raising the issue sporadically until they brought back the $10/haircut sale and I quit.
A few months after I left I was made aware that a different employee in another state filed a class-action lawsuit and I got a letter asking if I wanted to be a part of it. I accepted and the lawyer loved receiving five years’ worth of documentation, emails from corporate and payroll, etc. they had to go back through all of my paychecks and compensate me for the difference.
This included adding the free haircuts (reward program) and discounted haircuts as their whole amount, increasing the service dollar. .19 cents an hour here and .30 cents an hour there added up and despite the fact that the settlement was split with a lot of people I got $10k from that in addition to my adjusted pay which was around half the settlement amount.”
Another User Comments:
“This reminded me of a commercial a while back for I think FedEx/Kinkos or some store like that. Opens with a mom/pop barber shop doing haircuts, owner goes outside and sees some jerk opening a chain salon across the street offering “$7 Haircuts”. Guy goes and gets a sign made that says “We fix $7 Haircuts” and cuts to 2 months later and the chain is out of business.” Tots2Hots
28. They Trashed Their Neighbor's Room With Snowballs
“Many years ago in my college days (1979, actually), I was a freshman that ended up having to live in an upper-class dorm. Of course, I was the butt of a lot of jokes from the sophomores and juniors that lived there, since the lowly freshmen were all supposed to live in the freshman dorms. (The reason I was there in the first place was that I’d commuted the first quarter, and when I moved on campus the second quarter, there weren’t any available rooms.)
Anyway, two of my neighbors in the dorm pennied me into my room one day.
What’s that? They take a lot of pennies and jam them into the gap between the door and the door jamb. By stacking 4 or 5 pennies in a couple of spots on the door, you can put enough pressure on the door that the latch simply won’t open. I really appreciated being stuck in my room for most of a day until I finally got out.
We laughed about it, and I simply waited.
A couple of weeks later it was snowing outside, and guys were having snowball fights. Our rooms were on the top floor of the dorm (4 stories tall) and the roof access wasn’t locked. I went up on the roof while my neighbors were gone to class and leaned over the edge. By laying flat and reaching down, I could just reach their windows – which weren’t locked.
So I slid them wide open and went back inside. I went to MY window and hollered at the guys that were throwing snowballs. They thought it was coming from the room next door. So for about 20 minutes, all 10 guys threw snowballs through the open window. Beds, desks, papers, and books were all covered in snow – and soaked.
Later in the spring, the guys threw me in the duck pond to get even (which actually put them one ahead), so I had to get them one last time.
It’s an oldie, but a goodie. I got a weather balloon and went into their room one day when they weren’t there. (They were going down to meet one of their parents, and didn’t lock the door when they left.) Poured about half a case of beer into the balloon, and started filling it up – IN their room. By the time it was fully inflated, the door was being pushed shut from the inside by the balloon. So they came back, finally pushed into the room (which took both of them), and made a serious mistake. They popped the balloon – which then spewed Little Kings all over the room, all over them – and all over the one guy’s parents.”
27. Say Goodbye To Your Long Blonde Hair
“I once made the mistake of going out with a friend who should have stayed just a friend. I only went out with him as a desperate rebound anyway. He was cute and talented. He had long blonde hair and played the drums, which were two things he was very proud of.
After going out with him for several months, I discovered that not only was he insanely jealous, terribly possessive, and excessively vain, but he was also a violent heavy drinker.
I was much younger then, so of course I was very gullible and naive. He convinced me that I deserved all the bad things that he said and did to me. Finally, when he had mentally, physically, and emotionally used and abused me to the point that I could take it no more, I got rid of his butt. Weeks passed and I would sit in my room alone at night remembering and re-thinking everything he said and did to me.
I decided that if I was ever going to have any peace, I was going to have to get some revenge. It didn’t take long for me to formulate a plan.
He harassed his ex the entire time I was with him. He would prank call her house, or drive by it and throw empty beer bottles in her driveway. Each time he did something to her he would say, ‘I’m going to wait about six months and go back and do something else.
I’ll never leave her alone.’ Looking back, I should’ve known something was terribly wrong when he said that. I decided to use his tactic against him.
About six months after he was gone, a friend of mine moved into his neighborhood. I’ll call my friend James. James won him over, by going out and drinking with him. James never told him that we were friends. Another friend of mine, whom I’ll call Jay, helped James aid me in my plan of revenge.
The two of them took him out with a fifth of booze I purchased for the mission. I called Jay’s cell phone, to check in with them every half hour. The first time I called I heard James tell him in the background, ‘hit it like you’ve got a pair of nuts.’ I asked Jay if he had consumed much. Jay laughed and replied, ‘yeah, about half the bottle’s already gone!’ When he passed out in Jay’s backseat, they brought his limp wasted body, and the empty bottle to my house. I met them with a shiny pair of sharp, polished scissors!
I whacked all his beautiful, long, blonde hair, which he loved so much, right off! I cast a spell on him, using his hair as the main ingredient, which crippled him so badly that he’ll never play drums, or hit people again!”
26. Skunked My Ex-Friend To Get Revenge
“I had an ex-friend who needed some payback, big time.
She was a snotty, holier-than-thou, pretend friend. In that I mean she used people, in devious subtle ways. This amazes me due to the fact that she wasn’t a very smart person, but I found out she was cunning, especially if she could get people to help her do things that involved work.
So, I sat and waited and decided on a plan of action.
Kecia LOVED cats. She and her mother had 14 cats, and this was in a half-double. So very late one night, I drove to a spot where an unfortunate cat had been run over. It was gone. I wasn’t about to give up and remembered passing a raccoon that was laying on its back, legs straight up in the air. I couldn’t find that. But I did remember where a skunk was lying, quite ripe, too.
So I drove there put on my gloves, and pulled it from the ground. It made a sucking noise, so I knew it was opened up. I then placed said skunk in a garbage bag, tied it, placed that bag in another bag. Off to her residence.
By this time it was 4:00 am. I parked up the street, took out the loaded bag. When I got to her car, I slammed the skunk down at the base of the front hood, and slid it all the way up, (leaving bits of skunk all the way) I left the remainder on the windshield.
Then I left, ditched the garbage bags and gloves in a trash bin on another block. What I didn’t know was that she had only arrived home about 1/2 hour before I skunked her. And she didn’t get up until about 2:30 PM the next day. It was a very hot day, too. And to show what a witch she was, not one of her neighbors called her to let her know what had been done.
When she finally lumbered out of her house, the car was covered in flies. Her neighbors were sitting on their porch, rocking in their chairs. ‘See that?’ ‘Yep, sure do.’ She called the cops and was totally hysterical. They took pity on her blubbering butt and hosed off the car, which amazed me because these local yokels do nothing they don’t have to, usually. She told them she knew who did it, gave them my name, I’m certain, BUT since there were no witnesses, they couldn’t do anything.
I never got a call from the cops, but Kecia called my partner blubbering and whining and stuff. I told him he should have hung up, but he said it was funny, and he wanted to find out what happened. It would have been twice as horrifying to her if it had been a cat. Never heard from her since, but the Lord has his revenge, too. She got pregnant, tricked her dimwit into marrying her, and is now divorced.”
25. Steal My Identity? I'll "Steal" Your Cars
“Our 40-something neighbor Frank Smith has a brother three years older named Fred with the two similar in looks and build. Apparently, these boys were not obedient children and got into trouble a lot. Frank (mostly) straightened up by the time he reached 21 but Fred kept at it, with drinking, illegal substances, multiple DUIs, etc. While the two were still living at home with their parents in their early 20s, Frank happened to leave his wallet on the kitchen counter one night after coming home from a night out.
The next morning, he discovered his ID wasn’t in his wallet. Thinking he must have left it at a bar the night before, he tried locating it but with no luck. Not thinking much about it, he just got a new ID.
Fast forward a year or so and Frank gets a phone call. It’s his uncle whose son works at the county jail. Fred had been arrested and their cousin happened to see him when he was getting booked – under the name Frank Smith.
Turns out Fred had given the police Frank’s name (and ID) and was going to jail under Frank’s identity. Needless to say, Frank was livid. He went down to the jail to prove he was Frank and Fred was a liar. Fred was ultimately sentenced to serve time and stayed put.
During the time that Fred was in jail, Frank received a letter in the mail from the state BMV.
It said that his two vehicles, an Audi sedan, and a VW bug, were due for e-checks (emission checks). Frank was confused because he only owned a truck. He went to the BMV and discovered that these two vehicles were indeed titled in his name. That’s when Frank realized that his brother, who had lost the right to own a vehicle due to excessive DUIs, used his identity to register these cars.
Frank asked how much it cost to get duplicates of the titles – $8 each. So he paid $16 and walked away with title documents for the two cars. He knew enough of his brother’s friends to start calling around in search of the cars – lo and behold, he located them both (at different locations). Frank is a knowledgeable mechanic and could start these cars without keys, but he knocked on the door of each house where the cars were.
He explained to each person that he owned the title to the car, showed them the document, and gave them the opportunity to remove their belongings from the vehicle before he took it. They understood and didn’t push back, taking their things out of the car and handing him the keys. Frank proceeded to sell both cars and pocket around three thousand dollars for all his troubles.
The good news is that after his stint in jail, Fred got sober and became someone Frank could actually be friends with.”
Another User Comments:
“Reminds me of my two older brothers; we all got our social security numbers at the same time so they were sequential. My black sheep brother used square peg brother’s identity and SSN whenever he was in trouble until SP changed his SSN without mentioning it.
Next time jerk got pulled over for something minor he ended up going to jail for identity theft.” Kyra_Heiker
24. Revenge Is As Sweet As Honey
“This happened while a bunch of friends and I had applied to be camp counselors during the summer of 2000. It was a camp for 12-year-olds so we had a lot of fun.
Apparently, this snob in school… which we all hated had also applied for the summer job. It was an appropriate time to get back at her. The first prank we played on her was when we all had our showers.
As it was, the camp shower cubicles didn’t have hooks to hang your towels and stuff so we all had to sling it across the door. While she was having her shower, we grabbed her clothing and towel and ran off with them… hiding them behind a bush in a secluded area. I guess she was left in the cubicle for ages before someone came in and realized she was stuck without anything to cover herself with.
The next prank we played on her was the best… she happened to be a very heavy sleeper so anyone could walk around right in front of her without her knowing. We squirted toothpaste on her lips and we poured honey all around her sleeping body… we then dragged her mattress out into the open and left her there for the night. It was pure sweet revenge when she woke up with ants and all sorts of bugs crawling around her body.”
23. I'll Do What It Takes To Save My Cat From A Bad Situation
“My ex and I were together 6 years and we had two cats… after our very physical breakup I took one cat and moved back home to Indiana from Arizona and he kept our other cat. I found out not long after that he had already moved the girl that he two-timed me with into the house and they were neglecting poor Morrison, leaving him outside on the balcony, dirty litterbox, not feeding him regularly, etc.
Anyways getting to the petty part… our mutual friend (his best friend) was in az visiting him while my older sister happened to be in az at the same time visiting our mother… since I knew he had a crush on my sister over the next couple of days I orchestrated a get together between the two making sure my ex and his new significant other would be working when she went over to his house to hang out…
I had her pick up the cheapest ugliest 40oz beer (211 steal reserve) on her way there to leave for him as a gift from me… she spotted Morrison in the first 5 min, put the 40oz down on the table, picked up momo and ran out… I do feel bad for involving our mutual friend and using him that way but it was worth it to get my cat out of that trashy situation. So much satisfaction.”
22. He Bought Her An iPad To Get Revenge
“Suspecting his significant other of betraying him, my friend bought her an iPad for Valentine’s Day. Unbeknownst to her, he had actually bought two iPads with matching cases. As she was setting it up he switched the iPads and she believed she needed to start over because the iPad had to be restarted.
This gave him complete access to her texts, email, phone, etc. Sure enough, he discovered that she was texting with others and that she was hooking up with three different guys besides him.
He monitored the texts and instead of just breaking up, he decided to go wild. As she planned a Thursday night assignation with one of her three other lovers (the married one), he took her iPad and texted the other two telling them they needed to go to WhatsApp because her significant other was getting suspicious. He then deleted the texts and began conversations on his phone with WhatsApp with the other dudes and blocked them on the iPad.
He set up ‘plans’ with the other guys at the same rendezvous she was meeting the other dude. To add insult to injury, he texted her parents, brothers, and sister and invited them to meet there as well under the pretense that he was going to ask her to marry him.
To add insult to injury, he contacted the married affair partner’s wife and told her where her husband would be and who he would be with, and at what time.
He strategically set the times to create the most dramatic impact.
He arrived with her family 30 minutes before his significant other was to arrive to meet her married lover. They were already seated at the table when she walked in and greeted a stranger seated at the bar with a hug. Everyone looked confused but not as flabbergasted as she did when she looked over and recognized her family sitting twenty feet away.
She was formulating her response in her head and trying to make sense of the situation when in walked another of her affair partners who happened to recognize the married one because all three were co-workers. An argument quickly ensued just as the third partner arrived.
She realized at this moment that her significant other had something to do with this convoluted mess and began to attack him.
Just as he was beginning to call her out for being a jerk the wife of the married man arrived and recognized the ramifications of the situation immediately as her husband was in a verbal altercation with a co-worker over another woman.
‘How could you do this to me!?’ The girl screamed.
‘This is the first time in your life that you aren’t happy to be the center of attention,’ the guy said.
‘You live in an I, me, mine world and this is all about you and of your own making.'”
Another User Comments:
“Idk, it’s a great story and funny and all, but it seems to make a lot of other people casualties to that woman’s deceit (and that of her knowledgeable partners of course). I can’t imagine how many families the confrontation could’ve torn apart.” Ari Earl
21. Disown Him For Being Gay? No Inheritance For You Then
“My friend, Adam had a partner named Steve. This was revenge on his ex-parents, who had disowned him for being gay. This was in the early 90s.
Adam was sick. He had had a successful career in law and had managed to do quite well for himself. Adam had acquired a few pieces of property, made some good investments, and owned some valuable pieces of art, jewelry, gold, and so on.
Smart with funds and business.
As he grew sicker and knew the end was approaching, his family suddenly showed concern and interest in his deteriorating health. This was after nearly a decade-plus of little to no contact. Adam knew what was up. There were no same-gender marriage laws, no benefits for partners, no legal standing for his partner Steve, and Adam knew that once he was gone, his family would toss Steve – who was his sole caretaker up to that point – out on the street and claim the inheritance of Adam’s possessions as next-of-kin.
What did Adam do?
He liquidated everything. Everything. Jewelry, car, second house, stocks, and investments, and then gifted it all to Steve. In documented legalese that could not be questioned, with witnesses and notary, and in full possession of his mental faculties.
Except for one item. On his primary house, he took out a second mortgage and mortgaged it up to the hilt. He took that as and also gifted that to Steve. The house and mortgages remained in Adam’s name and were the only possession remaining in his name.
He died a couple of months later. In his will, he left his sole remaining possession – mortgaged to the hilt, with a second mortgage and taxes on top of it – to his ‘bereaved’ family.”
20. Sorry, I Have Much Better Plans Tonight
“When I was in college, my narc partner was lying to me and became pregnant by the other guy. She told me what happened. I told her that she needed to work it out with the other guy and broke up with her.
A week later, I was studying for the LSAT exam in the Library and I saw an incredibly attractive and young woman. She looked just like a swimsuit model that I’d seen in a national advertising campaign.
That’s because she was her. I said to myself, ‘Dude, go up to her. The worst that could happen is that she’ll blow you off.’ Instead, I got digits from one of the nicest women that I’ve ever met.
She wanted to go to the SF Opera that weekend. I offered reservations for dinner at a four-star restaurant just for fun.
That night, I dressed in a suit that my ex really liked.
The phone rang. I answered. It was my ex, the narc. She asked me how was it going. I said that I had to leave in a minute and that I was dressed in my suit and heading to SF.
She was upset and said that she’d just had an abortion that afternoon and that the father (who was also her boss) had taken her to the clinic, paid for it, and then broke up with her and fired her.
She then begged me to come over to her home immediately because she was cracking up.
I told her that this was awful in a rather condescending and jerky way. I then told her that I had met someone else, that she was a model, and that we were going out that night at the SF Opera. I told her how she could find pics of my newfound friend’s latest modeling shoot.
The other phone started to ring. I put my ex on hold. The model was calling me. She gushed on about how excited she was about that evening and asked me to come to pick her up asap. I told her that I’d be right over and went back to the other phone. I told my ex that my lady had called and that I had to leave immediately. My ex started to cry. I said goodbye and ended the call and proceeded on to one of the best evenings of my life.”
19. I Gave Her A Pre-Valentine's Gift
“I had gotten my dream job working at a library. I worked only a few hours during the day and at night, it was all mine. I was king! (well Queen actually, but it doesn’t sound as powerful). My boss who hired me was a great person. Unfortunately, she left to take a better job at a different library in the same county. Enter the boss from the underworld.
Her name was (let’s call her Carmen). She came sweeping in and asked us to put down the hours we liked working most. She gave me nights, all right. And that was it. She cut me from 18 to 11 hrs a week. I knew I would be leaving eventually. I was on an SSD (social security disability) and on that, you can work up to nine months, without any loss of benefits.
Quit one day before the 9th month and you’re free and clear. You can’t work again for X no. of years but so what?
I ran that library well. Everything that was supposed to get done, got done. I was the only person who could get the late list done in one day – this involves a lot of work, and I stayed late, with no pay to do it.
Which was cool for my significant other, who spent his time on the net while I worked.
So, I saw an ad in the local paper advertising a library clerk job (the title I held) full-time with benefits, etc. and I applied. I needed references. My old boss gave me a very good one. When I asked Carmen if they contacted her she said, yes. I asked her what did you tell them? ‘The truth,’ she said.
At that, I knew she had screwed me over, but I wanted proof. I paid a visit to my ex-boss, who told me that Carmen had said to them that she had not worked with me long enough to give a reference. I had worked under her for 3 months! Needless to say, I did not get the job, because my boss refused to give me a reference.
She sent people (other workers at said library her age) to check up on me.
One day, it was closing time and I and my significant other were there, and a boy who lived across the street. I let him stay past closing, so he could finish a project he was finishing. In came Carmen’s top spy, with an entire family of 7 of them, to get a movie.
They leave. 10 minutes later I get a call from Carmen. 18 minutes later the same spy returned, who says, ‘I just came back to the- (she cuts herself off) see if you needed any help closing.’ I said I was running the computer tapes, but some books needed shelving. Oh, she says and leaves. The next day I get a warning about letting people stay after hours, and if it happens again I would be fired.
Carmen, who usually can’t wait to leave, says she is going to stay and change the videos around (which would put her there all night. When she walked away I called my man, and said pick me up now! He came, and I said, ‘I quit.’ She said OK. (It was what she wanted). So I’m in my significant other’s truck, and we leave.
The next night he went over and said the place was a mess.
And when I was there a week later the spy said to the replacement something about the net, along with ‘that’s all the last one did was a play on the net.’ I saw red, but revenge is best served cold, in some cases. And fortune was headed my way.
About 2 months after all this, I find out that Carmen’s husband passed away in a head-on crash.
They had some butt-ugly kids, so it was probably good for the gene pool. So, I waited until just before the next Valentine’s Day, went to a site that has nothing but pictures of late people who passed away in various ways. I picked the most horrible and graphic ones of car accident victims. I printed them, pasted them on a paper heart as a collage, with the message, ‘Do you remember the last time ever I saw your face – AT THE MORGUE! – signed happy to be dead, because now I don’t have to see your ugly face.’
I sent this to her home address and used the main county library’s address as a return. My spy, whom I sent to the library said the other women, whom he knew, said they heard she freaked, and missed work. And the witch only missed 1 day when he passed away!”
18. He Thought He Could Get Away With Taking Her Things
“My friend’s last significant other seemed like a good guy. But something was just off about him. I couldn’t put my finger on it, so I told her ‘be careful with this one; he’s hiding something.’
Turns out, he was an active substance addict. That’s what was up. It takes one to know one, so no wonder I was uneasy around him. Once you’re in recovery, you can spot another user a mile away.
She came home from work one day and found her TV, her jewelry, and her home entertainment system gone. All the funds in her desk were gone, too; about $500. She was livid. I’ve never seen her like that before or since. She could’ve sent him to jail. She could’ve had some friends give him a beat down.
Instead, she started sleeping with his DAD. As often and as obviously as she could.
The ex had to go home and face her, sitting on the sofa, snuggled up with his father. He had to listen to them hooking up every day. She stuck the dagger in further by saying ‘Hey, wouldn’t it be neat if I became your stepmother?’
The relationship with his dad fizzled out, but not before she had reduced her ex to a groveling pile of heartbreak. Needless to say, she got a new TV, more jewelry, and a new entertainment system.”
17. Their Parents Find Them In A Hotel Room After Prom
“Well, there was this girl who was a total pain in my high school. She and her significant other were the perfect couple and were the most popular. They always were picking on the kids they considered to be ‘below them’.
Well, one day they started messing with my significant other and some of her friends. I had already dealt with their nonsense but the things they said about my girl upset her a lot.
So I decided it was no longer time to just ignore them. So I waited for the perfect time which ended up being prom night. That night most of the kids had rooms in the hotel where the prom was held and most of them were wasted.
Well while walking down the hall someone told me that these two were passed out in a room down the hall with the door open so friends could get a beer.
So I got together some friends and we went there and closed the door. Sure enough, they were passed out on the bed. I mean they were gone. So we stripped them down and dumped honey all over them. Then we proceeded to wrap them in the sheets together. We took all of their clothes, left, and closed the door behind us, and put a do not disturb sign on the door.
We also took their beer of course.
I later heard that there was so much honey and that they were like that for so long that they had to wobble to the shower and shower together. Plus they both had to call their parents to bring them some clothes. Needless to say, their parents weren’t too happy finding them together without clothes in a hotel room.”
16. Their Drink Had A Special Ingredient
“As if being in college isn’t hard enough, try having a roommate from the underworld. I walked cautiously around the dorm on eggshells as to not disturb her. Once I forgot to tell them that her significant other had called (he called every 20 mins. anyway so what was the difference?), so she went and bought a ‘while you were out’ message pad and left them by every phone.
Her Goldfish died and she actually told our other roommates that I killed it!
The kicker was when her significant other would come to town I would be kind enough to give them their privacy and sleep on the couch all weekend, sometimes during the week too. But do you think she would do the same when mine would come to town? NO!
So it was around Valentine’s Day, and I knew he would be coming and as I prepared my things to move to the couch for the weekend I remembered a little tidbit someone told me.
‘If you put Visine in someone’s drink it causes extreme diarrhea.’ So she left to pick him up at the train station, I squirted the entire bottle into her pitcher of tea. No one else was allowed to drink it but her.
As I sat on the couch working on homework all weekend, I giggled every time the two of them would run back and forth to the bathroom! She never found out!”
15. Social Media Group Chat Made My Online Friends Crazy
“This was back in middle school where people shared social media login info to post ‘cute’ stuff. I had her info and we broke up and she did it in some stupid way middle school me didn’t approve of so I went on her social media and added all of her friends to a group message. And when I say all, I mean ALL 770 something friends, including myself.
To do this I had to go into the message, go to add a person, hit ‘A’, add the first person that showed up whose first name started with ‘A’, and repeat. Then once all the first names with ‘A’ would finish, the site would show last names that started with it. Finish up the As and move on to the Bs. To get all the way through the Zs it took over 30 minutes.
Then I just sent a message saying ‘Heyy’ to these 770ish people and chaos ensued.
Within 1 MINUTE the message had over 20 replies. Within 10 minutes it had over 150 replies. The majority of these replies were either people asking how to leave the message or people telling others to stop responding to the message. People’s phones were dying because they were getting so many notifications so quickly. I laughed really hard for a good while, got unfriended by that ex, was worth it.”
14. I Wrote His Mom A Letter
“My friend, I’m going to call him Travis because I feel like it, had started getting really mean. Slowly over the course of a summer, he had grown from a lazy jerk to a person who acted like he was doing me a favor by talking to me. I finally got fed up with him and wrote his mother a letter.
The letter opened up as follows:
YOUR SON SMOKES.
It was pretty funny. The letter went on to explain how he used to beat up his 13-year-old brother for change to go down to a house and buy substances. It also explained the many stories of me and him raiding his mother’s purse. Well, me standing back laughing as he did it. It also had the story of how the living room window really got broken.
Let’s just say, that he got really irritated at me.
A few weeks later, a big kid, I didn’t know who it was, jumped me on my walk home from school. I saw the kid but never caught him. I even called the cops and had them look for him. I knew it wasn’t a random jumping because they didn’t take anything, and I had quite a bit of expensive stuff on that day.
Prank Phone calls started to happen almost every half hour, and when I was online, he’d use an emergency calling service to kick me off from time to time. The harassment kept going on for a while, and nothing seemed to help it…
About 3 months before we started this fight, my father had given him an abandoned car that was in his garage, just to get rid of it.
Travis thought it was the best thing in the world. A car, a cool car, that just needed a little bit of work…
After replacing the steering column and planning to do the rest of the work, Travis realized the car was worthless, and just left it sitting there in the driveway.
One day, I got fed up, and I had driven down to his house and made sure the car was still there.
I then called the owner of the car long distance. She still had the title and called the police and claimed the car was missing. I waited across the street until I saw him go into the car to smoke like he does every night. I called the cops and gave a little ‘tip’. Ok, little isn’t right, I told them where the stolen car was. They showed up and picked him up. I got a few phone calls asking me about the car and I didn’t give any knowledge of it. ‘What car?’ ‘My father gave him a car?’ My dad also played along because he knew I was jumped by someone who was sent by him.
Needless to say, a few months later, he’s still a bit angry.”
13. I Made Those Jerks Pay For My Guitar
“The story happens in France, in the city of Toulon in the late 2000s. Back when I was 14, I was a metalhead and hung out in a hard-rock café in my native town. One night, I met a guy, who happened to share my name and somewhat befriended him, it wasn’t long until we’d be playing CS:S together and communicating on MSN messenger. A few months pass, and suddenly I see him change his MSN profile picture to an antisemitic flag.
Being Jewish (from the origin, atheist here) I try to reason the guy (let’s call him ‘Loak’, was his steam name at the time), telling him something along the lines of ‘look, we laugh, joke, and play games together, and we have fun, right? Don’t fall for this nonsense, these ideas are poison.’ I end up arguing with him for a bit and left it at that.
A few days or weeks later, I get pulled into a steam group chat by him, where his newly found antisemitic friends start spamming threats and racist insults. I quit the chat and leave Loak with a fair warning: the next time I see him, I’ll break his teeth.
Fast forward a few more weeks/months, a friend of mine who knew him tells me that she received threats from him.
She, me, and a rather large and eclectic group of friends used to hang at a local park. Loak told her that he and his buddies would come ‘break some lefties at the park’ one of these days. Everyone in the group that hangs there was warned about the threat, and honestly, not everyone there was an angel. A few dealers, ravers, and anti-fascists hang with us, among which a few of them had already fallen prey to groups of boneheads from our town.
A few weeks later (by that time I had turned 15, and a friend made me a mohawk haircut) I get a call from a mate ‘Hey your buddies are here’ he says. ‘My buddies?’ I ask. ‘The jerks, they’re starting to regroup near the park, with reinforced gloves on them’. I rush to take the bus, and as soon as I get off of it at the bus stop nearest to the park, I see 4 jerks getting run after by a group of my friends.
I rush after them (nearly getting rammed by a car), and arrive to find the jerks pinned against trash bins by my friends. Asked what they are doing here, one says ‘we’re waiting for a friend!’ ‘Who?’ ‘Loïc!’ a pair of slaps fly across his face, as my friend had assumed they were waiting for me (again, I share my name with this jerk).
I arrive at this moment and try to calm the situation so that they don’t get beaten here and there.
We bring them to the park, where I tell them that if Loak is coming, I’ll gladly wait for him since I have unfinished business with the lad. Some friends suggest that we take away their cellphones so they don’t call for reinforcement, but I tell them off, as I feel that it would be morally wrong and don’t want to see some of the less intelligent ones starting to go through the jerks’ messages and start bullying them.
I then tried to knock some sense into them, explaining that for people who claim to be patriotic they are disrespecting their country’s history by following this ideology and the like, trying to reason them through speech (you guessed it, it didn’t do any good). We keep them there, not restrained, but not really “authorized” to leave until their friend has arrived. In the meantime, they of course use their phones to warn their troops, but given that we were around 30 people, we’re not alarmed in the slightest.
A few hours later, a van pulls up nearby, 7-8 more guys (among which Loak) come out of it, one of them is a 40yo who came to de-escalate the situation. Ensues a little debate where he goes ‘if you got a problem with Loak, you settle it with him, not with his friends.’ I argue that they were left unharmed, despite clearly coming here to assault us, and state that I’ll gladly settle it with Loak, inviting him to go to a nearby street to take his beating.
‘No but come on, you’re twice his size,’ the 40yo goes. (which was true, I have grown rapidly to be about 2m tall at the time, 6.6 f if you don’t use metric). In the end, they ended up leaving altogether without anyone harmed.
A few days later, (or was it the evening of the same day? Not certain) I go to a ska concert with 2 friends who were there at the event.
Waiting outside for the concert to start, I see the whole group of jerks, minus the 40yo, walking in a street nearby, and they see me too. They came here knowing that this would attract people from the counter-culture and hoping to run into me. We don’t see them during the concert, and while we leave we assume that they’ve just gone on with their things.
Little did we know, they stayed in ambush behind an arch (positioned at the main exit of the parking area of the concert’s location) during the whole concert, waiting for us to come out. As soon as we pass the arch, we are met with -12 jerks, who immediately rush onto me and start beating me up. Some of which had knives. I decide that it’s best to not fight back and risk angering them enough to use them, and take the beating.
Thankfully I had a motorcycle ‘protection jacket’, which reinforcements lessened the impact of their nailed rangers while I protected my head with my arms (I’m on the floor at that point, on my back in fetal position feeling kicks raining on me). It lasts a good minute until one of them shouts ‘come on let’s go let’s go!’ and they run off. I get up and swear at the top of my lungs, filled with rage.
A day after, I decided that the best course of action would be to alert the authorities, while my friends are all very much willing to take care of them. I’m not fond of the possibility of one of them getting shaved and dying to these idiots, (or one of these idiots dying if it turns into a blade fight on both ends). Toulon is somewhat of a ‘big’ town, but not too big, my friends who were present (and left unharmed) know the name of three of them.
I go to the local police station, explaining the events in excruciating details to an illiterate officer who types it with eye-gouging typos (‘anti-semite’ being written ‘anthycemythe’ for example. Proof-reading it was painful). With one slight change in facts, I changed the time of the assault from 00:30 to 22:00, as I did not want my mother to know I was out after midnight. The next day I correct my statement as I am worried that they might have an alibi exempting them from sanctions.
But if we didn’t involve the police earlier, it was for a reason. Toulon’s police are notoriously friendly towards boneheads, and notoriously racist. I thought that now that a physical assault with witnesses had happened, they would have to do their job. How wrong I was… I soon get called by the police to come and ‘give more details’. In the police station, I am led into a room alone with an officer, who I will later learn is not even assigned to this case.
He starts to question me, nearly shouting ‘Were you at the silent circle protest on this day?’ he asks, clearly upset and on the offensive. I am surprised but answer in honesty ‘I don’t know, what was this protest about? I went to a few education protests.’ (at the time, the government was taking unpopular measures against public education, which sparked a lot of protests, a few of which I attended).
He doesn’t answer, but instead starts shouting ‘WE HAVE PROOF! ADMIT THAT YOU WERE AT THE SILENT-CIRCLE OR THIS WILL GO BAD FOR YOU!’ and I realize that I have been set up in a completely illegal interrogation, without a legal representative (yeah, a minor interrogated without being warned by an officer that isn’t assigned to this case, and neither parents nor lawyers are present. Yay french police…).
I keep to my statement, saying that I don’t know what protest that is, and ask to see this proof (which I was never shown during the interrogation). I am met with more shouting and threats, he is pressuring me to admit to something, and I know I didn’t do anything wrong in the protests in which I participated. This goes on for half an hour without any success on his part.
I later learned that the ‘silent-circle’ was a protest (which I did not attend) where about 20-30 people formed a circle on the main city square (place de la liberté, Toulon, which actually has a fountain-statue made by the same artist who designed the Statue of Liberty) and stayed there in silence for a few hours, where antisemites came to threaten the participants, and after a while, a group of anti-fascist came to force them away, apparently, projectiles were thrown, the only ‘proof’ this guy had were photos of masked people, one of which was tall, so he was trying to pin it on me.
After I got out of the interrogation room, he told me with despise ‘you’re lucky I’m not the one in charge of that case, it wouldn’t go like that otherwise!’ I later saw him being very friendly with one of my assailant’s fathers, calling him by his first name and ensuring him that he was doing all he could to help him. My mother has confronted him about his illegal interrogation and his relation with the assailant’s father, he denied the relation, and even went as far as defending the assault by saying ‘but your son’s a leftist!’
The bottom line, they did no investigation and held to the bare minimum.
When it would have been easy for them to find the identity of the other aggressors through phone and social media searches, they did no such things and only the 3 jerks whose identities I had given in my deposition were targeted by the lawsuit.
Soon after the facts, a local media (Var-Matin) ran a story on the assault. In their version, they claimed that I was an ‘anarcho-punk’ (Not true, I just had a mohawk haircut, my political alignment at the time had nothing to do with anarchy I’ve always believed in state institutions if you can even say that a 15yo has a political alignment), I had suddenly gained 2 years and was 17yo (closer to the majority, obviously to push readers to be less likely to feel empathy for an assaulted minor), I had ‘received a correction’ (which implies that it was deserved), there were not 12 but 3 jerks, and they were not antisemites but ‘nationalists’.
Of course no mention of the prior racist insults and threats, nor the criminal record of the elder of the accused. They went with the ‘he assaulted them during the silent-circle protest’ narrative, somehow knew that I had changed my statement, and claimed that my testimony was therefore unreliable (which makes me pretty certain that their source was the police as the investigation was still ongoing and thus the defendants’ legal council could not have had access to this information), claimed that it was a ‘fight between rival gangs’, and concluded on the note ‘A bad remake of ‘La fille du RER B’ has thus been avoided’.
‘La fille du RER B’ is a french movie inspired by a true story, where a woman invented an assault by an antisemite, that never happened. So we’re in the territory of some sort of messed-up post-modern negationism here, where they are implying that the racist assault that I suffered did not happen.
The assault itself was somewhat traumatic, and so was the police’s bias, but what haunts me to this day is how far this journal went into its distortion of the events, though I suppose I should thank them, it was enlightening to actually live through such degree of propagandist disinformation, being able to actually know where they changed facts, and analyze why they did so.
They did not name me in this article, so I could not take any legal action against them.
Now we’re getting into the proper revenge part. The police’s trashy job made sure that only the three named assailants would face judgment. The judge (middle-aged female judge) deemed necessary an immediate comparison (not sure it makes sense in English, it’s a direct translation of the French term), in which she set the date for the trial a month later.
Due to the fact that the eldest of the accused (22yo) had a record for racist assault in the reunion (the other two also had a history, having assaulted several of my friends, either for looking leftist, being of foreign descent, or for being gay, but they had never been caught until then), she ordered that he’d be placed in preventive detention in prison while waiting for the trial.
A month later, it began, the three accused had taken a female advocate of mixed origin. The defense of the Eldest? ‘The prison environment is not for me, during the month I’ve been there I’ve already been the victim of several group assaults, and a racket, I had my food, my funds, and my shoes stolen by other inmates.’ (Oh boy did I like this. Do you remember these ‘not so angelic type of people’ that hung out in the park? Well, a few of them did time already and had friends doing time in the same prison he was in.
Word got around, he had a target on his head. But then again, antisemites are not welcome in french prisons anyway).
One of the two others tried to claim that they were not antisemites, going ‘we didn’t know that white laces meant white power!’ to which the judge scoffed, lowered her glasses on her nose, and went ‘Are you taking me for a fool? Even I know what they mean’, they didn’t even try to argue, and he just sat back looking down with the face of a child who just got caught stealing candy.
Their last line of defense was ‘I want to join the military and I can’t do that with a criminal record.’ Their choice of mixed-race lawyer didn’t pay out the way they expected, as she didn’t put much of an effort into their defense (gee I wonder why).
While the police were incredibly (and voluntarily) incompetent, the judge, who had another kind of intellectual background than these troglodytes, was incredible.
22yo jerk got a 2month prison sentence, on top of the one month he had already served, as well as over a year in probation, for ‘receive of assault in reunion on a minor with racist character’ (again plain translation, but you get the gist). The two others (18 and 19 respectively if I remember properly) got 6 months probation and a criminal record, barring them from joining the French army and ruining their career plans. They ended up working trashy jobs (dishwasher and the like). On top of this, they had to pay about 3K€ in reparation, as well as reimburse my legal fees. I used that sweet sweet gold to buy myself a 1500€ electric guitar, and every time I look at it, I smile thinking about my victory.”
12. He Blamed The People Who Made The Pie
“One Christmas I got given a box of 6 mince pies from someone who also gave my brother a gift.
I put my mince pies in the fridge, as I wanted to save them. I told my brother not to eat them all. I had forgotten they were there. After 2 days I went to get one and 3 were gone. I had one and told my brother not to eat anymore.
Then the next day there was only one left. So my brother had had another, meaning he had eaten 4 of them and I had had 1.
There was 1 left and I knew he would try and eat it, so I managed to take the pastry top off the pie, scoop out the filling and fill the pie with mustard. Then I put the top back, placed the pie back in the box and in the fridge. Later he came home. I waited for him to go to the fridge then I went into the kitchen to see him take a massive bite from the mustard pie. His face looked so funny. He spat it out into the bin and was so angry that he started to write a letter of complaint to the people who made the pies.”
11. His Sanitary Things Are Not Sanitary Anymore
“I let a fellow employee move in and rent a spare room in my house because he had just moved to the area and had no place to live. I had talked to him many times before he moved to the area and thought he was cool. We became friends and fellow partners in the Radio DJ biz.
After about 8 months I had a meeting with our P.D (Program Director) who told me that this guy was screwing up and his speech was not as clear as it was when he first got there so I would be taking his job and he would be getting mine.
We both worked connected shifts. He did the 7 to 12 and I did the 12 to 6 am shift and he hated the 12 to 6 am shift with a passion because during this shift you had to do real Commercial Production not just be on the Air talking and having a good time.
Well, here is how it goes; he found out what was going to happen so one night I was sick, it was coming out of both ends.
I called him and said to program the computer for the shift and leave a note for the boss who comes in at 6 am. He never left a note for the boss and only programmed the computer to 5:30 am so there was dead air for half an hour and this is also the time that the boss came in. Needless to say, I was in deep trouble.
I got a call about 11 am to be told that I was fired and to come pick up all of my stuff. He was sitting right there and said he left a note and he had no idea why I was getting fired. I told him he cost me my job and to get the heck out. He had no friends in the area and had no place to go.
Later that night while he was at work I peed in his Shampoo, Mouthwash, and then flossed my butt with his toothbrush, flossed my butt with his pillowcase, took sandpaper to his favorite CDs, and flushed his asthma medication. After he had moved out I found a roll of film; it was him dressed up in his significant other’s clothes. I had them developed and sent them to his parents.
So after about 2 months I called the F.C.C and told them I’ve been hearing profanity on the 7 to 12 shift on that radio station and was very upset because my 5-year-old son heard his first curse word and I want that guy fined or fired. He didn’t get fired but he did get moved to the overnight shift that he hated. And about 2 weeks ago his ex and my significant other had a nice night of passion and we have just sent the pictures to him. I never let a person do me wrong like that.”
10. Wife Or The Other Girl? Choose Wisely
“Husband and wife married when they were in their late teens. He is smart and a looker, she is brilliant.
They move from London to Hong Kong due to his job but soon she finds a satisfying one. The workload is heavy and both travel constantly. But they are both soon on $500,000+ packages. He starts ‘playing the field’ and the number of girls mounts (I was always surprised that he could not cut anyone off).
She notes this and he is ‘reformed’ several times. After 10 or 12 years he meets and falls hard for another professional. She is smart and a looker but not brilliant. She is not willing to be a mere mistress. The wife finds out and meets with his girl. They agree that they will give him a choice – wife or side girl. He goes to Thailand (and into the arms of yet another lady for consolation – I know because I had to hide behind a pillar so I did not ‘bump’ into them) to decide.
He informs his wife through his secretary he wants a divorce.
She, who has been in charge of the family finances, buys a massive house in London using all their savings plus a mortgage. She packs up the home in Hong Kong and ships everything (and I mean everything) to London. This includes his much-prized carpet collection. She takes the children out of boarding school in the UK and re-registers them in a school close to the new home.
On the day that she leaves (just 1 week after that call – yes all that in 1 week !!) she cancels all the credit cards (rendering his cards useless as they were on a joint account) and writes to the Hong Kong tax authorities telling them that she is leaving. This triggers a tax bill for all unpaid taxes (3 years). In those days, the husband is responsible for his wife’s taxable income.
He returns to an empty house, an empty bank account (he had to borrow from me – sigh), no usable credit card, and a massive tax bill.
When he sued to try to get his carpet collection and some funds back, he discovered that all he could get was an interest in the mansion of a house in London. This is because it was the family home and thus could not be sold. As for the carpet collection, it had been auctioned off to pay down the mortgage.
24 years have passed. To be fair to him, he is still married to the ‘girl’ (he has stopped playing around or become very much more discrete). He has still not gotten anything as she still lives in that home with a new husband.”
9. He Hates It When I Drive His Car So I Did
“This was before everyone had cellphones and people were still relying on payphones.
I was working as a waitress on holiday Thursday night. On Holiday Thursdays, I could pull 300.00 or more in tips. Two hours into my shift and right when things started to get busy, I get a call from the babysitter saying that my husband had not come to pick up the kids. I asked if he had called and she said no.
I called his work and he had left at the regular time. I knew his manager and I asked if he left with someone and she told me yes that he had left with a woman he worked with to give her a ride home. I had already had an inkling he was having an affair with her.
Anyway long story short I left work and picked up the kids.
When he got home he gave me his lame excuse and later admitted he was having an affair. The first thing I did, got in his car and left. He hated when I drove his car (which is why I took his car). I told him I had to think. His car’s gas gauge didn’t work so we had figured out that his car on a full tank could go 300 miles.
Once the mileage got close to 300 we had to put gas in. I noticed it was close to 300 and took a chance and drove around for a while. Then I flipped the mileage to zero. Drove a couple more miles to make it look like I had filled the gas tank and then drove for a while more before I came back home. Knowing the next morning he would be leaving early for work and his work at the time was about 45 miles away.
When I got home I packed myself up and my daughter and went to bed. In the morning he went off to work. I got in my car, drove my step-sons to school, gave them big hugs, and told them I would see them soon. Then I went to live with my Mom until something else could get worked out.
My ex got about 15 miles before his car ran out of gas.
It was raining and he was on a rural road that wasn’t very busy. He had to walk about three miles in the rain until he found a payphone. He had someone from work pick him up. I called later to let him know he would have to leave work early regardless of if his car was on the side of the road or not because he had to pick his sons up… and that was that.”
8. I Won't Pay For Your Hospital Bills
“When I was 19 I got myself out of a bad relationship with a very controlling, manipulative older guy. He had always talked about how he was depressed and it was my fault, and when I left he texted me that he was harming himself, clearly staged in an attempt to get me to take him back. (Something he had a history of doing.) Well, I called his bluff and had him 5150’d.
He was super annoyed, mostly because of the ambulance and hospital charge he now was responsible for. Apparently, the idiot put my address on his hospital forms that night, even though I paid 100% of the rent and was the only one on the lease, and he obviously was not coming back.
I didn’t know this for several weeks, because I had lost my mailbox key, and being a teenager with no need for snail mail, didn’t do anything about it until it turned up.
When it finally did, I found 3 or 4 letters addressed to him and decided to do the amoral yet infinitely more satisfying thing of opening them. Well, they were ambulance bills, each one increasing with late charges. After my friend and I died laughing, I decided to wait for a few more letters before filling him in. Eventually, my friend brought an unopened one into his work, handed it to him, and heard him screaming profane words as she walked out the door. There was no follow-up from him. (Thankfully, in retrospect that could have been a pretty dangerous thing to do.)”
7. My Revenge Was Saying "No"
“It was my ex. Father of my sweet boy. I don’t believe in giving him a dose of his own medicine but it was the best revenge I could do to him.
We were not married. He proposed twice, I said no on both occasions.
I was unemployed. I got him a job where my brother worked. His job involved long trips to locations where they would stay a few days to a week at a time.
Because I had no means to provide him an allowance, I would borrow from my mom which I pay her back when he gives me a part of his salary (just enough for milk and diapers).
On such trips, he and a colleague would eat at restaurants and meet other people, especially waitresses. While he was on a trip, I would raise our son and maintain the home for him when he gets back, as a doting partner would.
He just got back from a trip and I was emptying his pants pockets before washing when I found a small piece of paper with the name Melanie and a number. I asked him about it and he said he intended to throw it away but forgot. Strike One. I let it slide.
One morning, as he was taking a shower, his phone buzzed, I checked the message and it said, “Good morning” with heart emojis. Strike Two.
(What were the hearts for?)
Third and final strike. He couldn’t find his phone. I tried calling it. We searched all over. When I finally found it, my name registered was ‘BUDDY’!
What. The. Fork!
I think he tried explaining why my name was ‘buddy’ but all I could see was his lips moving. I have already cried countless nights because I felt something was wrong.
My son was 3 when I kicked him out.
I heard he had been living in the office quarters and that’s just about it. I slowly made myself not care what happens to him.
Now for the revenge part. My mom supported me all the way. She and my younger brother helped me raise my son and encouraged me to look for a job. I volunteered at a public hospital and then got accepted at a private hospital soon after.
He came to see my son and mom a few months after when I was working and was crying for them to forgive him and for me to take him back.
I said no.”
6. I Got My Revenge By Giving Her A Job
“I gave my ex-wife a job I was offered and she didn’t find out until after she had accepted.
Yeah, my first marriage was short-lived but it was brutal. I devote an entire chapter to it in my upcoming book, but couldn’t resist telling this story.
When I got divorced, the company was just taking off, but I was still working my job as the Director of the Multimedia Lab at Virginia Tech.
I was offered this great job at James Madison University (JMU), where my oldest son now goes. I was flattered by the job offer but the company was really taking off and the JMU job was a lateral move at best and I saw it as a step backward with fewer prospects businesswise due to the more remote location, so I passed on the job offer.
In my letter to JMU, I graciously declined their offer but recommended my ex-wife for the job. She had much less experience and really wasn’t qualified for the job but I made the recommendation anyway. We were already separated and our divorce was pending.
A couple of weeks later I ran into her on campus; we worked not too far from each other. She runs up to me and says ‘You will never believe what just happened! I got a call out of the blue from JMU and got offered this amazing new job.
They already talked to my boss and he recommended me so they called and offered me the job. I didn’t even have to interview. I accepted and start in two weeks.’
I could hardly contain my laughter. The look on her face turned from joy to bewilderment to outright anger. She said, ‘Did you have anything to do with this?’ Now busting out laughing, I said ‘Of course I did.
I want your sorry butt out of town for good and if that means getting you a better job somewhere else then fine. Enjoy the new job in the middle of nowhere.’ Now I’m laughing uncontrollably. The look on her face was priceless. I actually look back on it and feel bad.
To her credit, she applied herself and made the best of the opportunity and moved on to a better job at George Mason University (GMU) and now has a top C-level job at a major private college in upstate NY. She managed to leverage a decent career so I doubt she is still all that mad at me. Then again I’m sure the fact that she was never going to launch a major career on her own must still sting. In the end, it all worked out but that one moment of revenge was so sweet.”
5. He Got Dumped Twice
“During a bad patch in my (now) 41-year marriage, my husband and I separated and went out with other people.
This is about one of the guys that I went out with.
I was in college and was active in the school’s student government. We used to go to seminars that included all of the community colleges in my state.
I met this guy, Jim, from a different community college.
He was gorgeous, at least physically.
We started going out and pretty quickly he asked me to be exclusive with him. It was my understanding that we were both exclusive.
One night my friend, Sunny and I drove the 65 miles to see Jim.
When we got there I saw that his Chevy van was rocking. I went to the back (rear) doors and opened them. He was hooking up with some woman I later found out was named Twyla.
I quite loudly told him to get out of the van. He did and she crouched in the back of the van with the doors locked. I guess she thought I was gonna attack her. I wasn’t! She had thought they were in an exclusive relationship also.
Anyway, my friend said we had to leave to drive back home. Jim jumps in the car to go back with us.
Now here’s the revenge part! Jim was a pretty well-known local rodeo rider. During his most important rodeo, the first pot was a pair of custom-made snakeskin boots and a $500.00 reward.
The money was long gone, but the boots were his pride and joy. So, Jim didn’t take the time to put his boots on before he got in the car. He just laid them in the car seat.
As we are driving, Jim is trying to explain that it’s not his fault that he lied. He said that the distance between us was a major factor in his decision to hook up with other people. Additionally, he is telling me that if I ever two-timed him, his anger would be uncontrollable and I would pay dearly.
As you can imagine, that annoyed me big time.
It so happened that we had to cross a big bridge on the way to my house. The bridge was about 35 miles from where he lived and his van.
As we crossed the bridge, I quickly gathered up his boots and threw them out the window, over the bridge rail, into the river.
Once we got across the bridge, Sunny stopped the car (hers) and told Jim to get out.
We left him there standing by the side of the road, in February, without any shoes (boots) on his feet. By the way, this was years before cell phones.
I didn’t hear from him for about three years. By this time, hubby and I were back together. Jim called me wanting to meet up and talk about getting back together.
I let him talk for maybe 15 minutes. I asked him about Twyla. Seems she dumped him the same night.
Needless to say, we did not get back together and I haven’t spoken to him since. I did hear that he had moved to Texas to be a cowboy.”
4. The Whole Club Witnessed Our Revenge
“I’m a freshman at a large high school in Ohio. Well, while one of my very good friends and I were seeing each other over the summer, I naturally got to know his friends too. One particular friend, we’ll call him ‘John’, always hit on me and all of my friends (especially my best friend Katie) while my significant other and I were together.
After we broke up, John was quite persistent in his Ummm…
attempts. Eventually, I got so fed up with John, that I told him that I liked him a little, even though I was in no way attracted to him. With this news, he immediately asked me out, each time I rejected. Afraid of hurting his feelings, every time he popped the question, I was forced to find an even more pathetic excuse for denying him. Eventually…
I felt so guilty I told the truth… since we were friends, I figured he would take the situation in a logical, rational way. I guessed wrong. John exploded at me… sending me death wishes… hate letters… the works. Well… I’m an independent, and unlucky for him… revengeful type of person. Using my cunning skills I quickly plotted to destroy him.
Just my luck… one day after school the perfect opportunity arose.
My friend, Katie who I mentioned earlier just happened to be one of John’s appalled victims. First I must honor how ultimately effective, economic, and efficient the internet is for getting sweet revenge. Anyway… I decided to chill with Katie after school one day. So as the ritual normally follows… we got online to chat for a few minutes before we made plans to go anywhere.
Je noticed that john was online… and since we both hate him… the plotting began. Since I knew John better I did most of the talking. We IMed John… with me pretending to be Katie. Now, John is an easy person… so I basically pretended to be Katie, and ‘apologized’ for everything that went wrong… well throughout our conversation… I thickened the plot.
Since I was pretending to be Katie…
I knew the one way to get John back was to make it seem like Katie was mad at me too. Sooo for about an hour, I ripped on myself pointing out every feature… and trashing it… totally dissing myself. John bought it… forgiving Katie… and apologizing for his behavior… along with continually hitting on ‘her’. Of course, Katie and I were already thoroughly enjoying our scheme.
The plot continued… John stupidly informed ‘Katie’ of the pranks that he was trying to get my ex… who I did mention is now one of my best friends…. to do to me. He apparently was trying to convince my ex to act like he was going to ‘give me a second chance’ and then stand me up at a local club. I had communication with my ex throughout this…
and I knew he wouldn’t even think of accepting this offer. The conversation ended with John totally admitting his love for Katie… we excitedly typed back sickening flirty lines… which though they made us ready to puke… were well worth the torture.
Then the plan proceeded as follows: Katie called John… convincing him to go to the club the following weekend. He eagerly accepted. The next weekend…
Katie and I went to the club together… being sure to separate as soon as we got inside. John was there… things went smoothly… Katie went for John… flirting brilliantly with him as if they had been together for years. I, however… danced with some friends… occasionally walking by to give a good, hearty ‘screw you’ to Katie… it was impeccably accurate of a typical girl fight.
Of course, my ex was there… oblivious to the scheme. (He even tried to break up one of Katie and I’s ‘fights’). We talked for a while until we were interrupted by Katie practically running down the ramp with a huge triumphant grin on her face.
She gave me a hug… confusing my ex… as she pointed to John… sobbing on the balcony like a little school girl…
Katie had completed the plan…. once John made a move on her, she would totally reject him in front of the entire club… who was now also staring… We then proceeded the night by talking about John as he wept in front of quite literally the entire club… who was almost surrounding him. Surprisingly my ex didn’t mind… he congratulated me on my success, and continued being a good friend.
The best part of the entire story is that two weeks ago, John IMed me begging for forgiveness, and saying that he was sorry…
The next week Katie and I peeled the label off of a bottle of cough syrup, labeled it ‘GARBAGE’, and mailed it to him asking him if he enjoyed getting a taste of his own medicine. We haven’t heard from him since!!!!”
3. So This Is What Will Make You Stop Your Loud Music
“The most creative revenge I’ve ever heard of was carried out by a coworker of mine while he was attending an Ivy League school. The next-door neighbor in the dorm was always bad about playing his stereo loud and late at night. After repeated requests failed to produce any change, revenge was due.
To make things easier, I’ll refer to my friend as Bob and the offending jerk as ‘Jay’.
Step 1 was to run some speaker wire from Bob’s room to Jay’s room and connect it to the speakers (of the stereo) in Jay’s room. Bob and a buddy managed to get access to Jay’s room while he was out and managed to connect the second set of wires to the speakers and run them back to Bob’s room. The wires were run such that they were not noticeable.
There was a small crack between the outside wall and the wall dividing the two rooms, so the wires were run through that.
Step 2 was to secure a tape of a fly buzzing around – in stereo.
Step 3 was to wait until Jay’s light went out (It was not too hard to tell because the light shone through the aforementioned crack when the light was on) and then start playing the tape.
Lights out – buzzing fly, lights on, fly stops buzzing. Jay went nuts trying to find that elusive fly for several weeks.
Step 4 occurred when Jay went home for a weekend. Bob put in a tape of someone losing their mind and screaming all sorts of wild stuff ‘I can’t take it anymore’ ‘I’m going to kill someone’ ‘moan, sob, etc.’… That kind of stuff. While Jay was gone – people wandering down the halls of the dorm heard all that coming from Jay’s room.
When he got back, Jay had a lot of people looking at him funny and asking if he was feeling ok and could they do anything for him, etc.
Step 5 occurred when Bob got tired of the stunt. He waited until Jay went to bed, gave him an hour or so to get sound asleep, and then blasted him with Jay’s speakers (through the extra wire) with some very very very loud heavy metal music. Jay went nuts for a few minutes trying to shut off the music, only to find that even disconnecting the wires from his stereo didn’t make the music stop. He FINALLY spotted the extra wire and ripped it out!
Jay quit playing his stereo so loud – he realized he was in the presence of a master and didn’t want to risk another such stunt.”
2. I Made Friends With My Husband's Fiancée
“I had gotten married very young and my husband at the time was a horrible liar and unfaithful. We were renting a house on the same block as my parents and one day he had come home from ‘work’ early and shortly after the phone went on the fritz. This was before cell phones. I needed to make a call so I went up the street to my parents’ house.
About 5 minutes after I got there, a female called and asked for me. She explained that she was my husband’s fiancée and wanted to talk with me about why I was making our ‘divorce’ so difficult and refusing to let him see our daughter. It turns out that she had somehow managed to get my (our) home phone number, which is why hubby came home early and sabotaged the phone line.
What he didn’t know, was that she had gotten my parents’ number as well. She and I had a nice long conversation about what was really going on and devised a little plan.
I borrowed a screwdriver from my parents and went home, but before going in I let the air out of all his tires just to ensure that he couldn’t leave. At the time, hubby was a carpenter and he badly wanted to start his own company but needed a partner to help finance it.
I went into the house and he asked what had taken so long. I explained that I had an amazing phone call from a contractor who had heard about hubby’s great skills and he wanted to meet and talk business. I went on about how cool it was that the guy just happened to call while I was there and that I had invited him over.
I told hubby the contractor would be there in about 30 minutes.
Hubby hurried up and took a shower and got himself all dolled up. I put the coffee on. ‘Knock Knock’ on the door. He rushes to open it and sees his ‘fiancée’ standing there. The look on his face was priceless. I went over and called her by name and invited her in. He is still standing there, totally confused and speechless.
I offered her a cup of coffee and about that time he realizes that she and I were in on this together.
He grabs his coat and walks out the door; she and I sat down with our coffee. He comes back in of course because his tires are flat. I invited him to join us, I said, ‘Hey why don’t you sit and visit. I figured if you had a fiancée, it would be good for her to meet your wife.’ He was so annoyed— he picks up the phone — Ha! — to call his buddy for a ride — but of course, the phone didn’t work.
He kept going in and out the back door — trying to fix the line he had pulled out outside.
The whole time she and I are sitting there laughing and talking about all the stories and lies he had told us. We took it to the extent of making jokes and laughing about him being utterly horrible in bed. That really annoyed him. Eventually, he got a ride and got out of there. Later, I let him know I would be divorcing him for real. He tried to get me to reconsider. No way. He then tried to get the girl to stay with him, but she said no as well. He ended up moving into a little trailer with his buddy.”
1. Cat Thief Gets Cat Poo All Over His Carpet
“I have a problem with a neighbor who keeps taking my cat in and keeping him. This is really beginning to annoy me as they deny that they take the cat in and won’t let him out for me to take him to the vet etc. So I have decided to exact my revenge.
I have just been to the pet shop and bought a large number of worming tablets.
Said worming tablets have been gobbled by cats (not all of them of course!). So I am now just waiting for him to go to the neighbor, for them to let him in and keep him there for the day and not let him out and oooooh dear – pooooooooo all over the carpet.
Maybe they won’t be so keen on letting him in in the future.”