His name isn’t on the lease.

And I told her he can decorate and have opinions if he would like to).

They feel as though his being there doesn’t really change anything but I personally think it changes a lot.

I did tell her that I feel as though he should pay rent and that was pretty much the end of the conversation.

She and I get along really well but I suppose I am just afraid this conversation will come again and it will be an issue. This first month he did not help us with rent which is fine because he does not live with us yet, he only stayed a handful of nights, but actually LIVING there feels like a whole different ball game.

Am I the jerk here?”

Another User Comments:

“Does this guy shower? Does he eat? Does he use the internet? Does he take up space? If so, then he’s changing things, because he’s either increasing costs (like utilities) or reducing space/use of the apartment just by being there.

He’s a new roommate and, as such, needs to pay his fair share of rent and related bills. OP, take this as a harbinger of things to come. Three’s a crowd and you will always be outvoted. Time to find a new apartment or roommate, these two are better off living on their own.

NTJ.” JeepersCreepers74

Another User Comments:

“You do not want to live with a newlywed couple. At all. It’s awful. Can you find another roommate quickly to take over your roommate’s part of the lease? I’ve lived with a couple before. It was the worst. They were only paying half they said because they shared a room, while I paid the same amount on one person’s pay for a 7ft. x 15ft. back storage room.

They pretty quickly took over the entire apartment and I ended up feeling very unwelcome and uncomfortable in my apartment. They were insufferable and things did not end well. Save your friendship and get them out of your place now. If she doesn’t want to move out, they should have to give you back all your deposits and pay for your moving expenses.” Excellent-Witness187

Another User Comments:

“NTJ, there will be another person living with you so arrangements need to be made.

1. When you agreed to get accommodation with her it was just the two of you. Him becoming her husband doesn’t mean he gets to live there for free, in fact, it can be a reason to scrap the entire agreement altogether from your side.

2. What is fair is to split the part of the rent into different pieces. Private space, common spaces, bills, and utilities. Common spaces will be used by more people, and bills and utilities will increase by up to 50% for ones that are consumption-based (water, electricity) at least. Private space is still split the way you had it originally.

3. If the husband-to-be argument to not have to pay is because he is not on the lease, you can explore adding him to the lease with your landlord. You need to redo your roommate agreement because of this, definitely. If you don’t find the new conditions agreeable, just warn that you will move out entirely and break the lease if you have to.

P.S. What you can preemptively do is make a benchmark on the utility use when there are two people so you have as a comparison when there are three.” atealein

People Hope To Put The Past Behind Them After Telling Their “Am I The Jerk?” Stories