If you could get the perfect revenge on anyone who has done you wrong in the past, who would it be? A recent ex-boyfriend or -girlfriend? That rude stranger on the train from a few months ago? Your grouchy history teacher from high school? Regardless of who it may be, there’s probably someone you have in mind and a slim part of you that wants to make sure they get what they deserve for their wrongdoings.
And if you think you’ve missed out on the opportunity to get revenge on someone, you’re dead wrong. In many of the following stories, some people wait until a later time to get their sweet vengeance. Other stories necessitate a hyper-intelligent mind in order to come up with and enact revenge in a timely manner. Either way, these perfectly executed tales of petty revenge are exciting as someone in each story gets more than what they bargained for, sometimes a little too much.
30. Their Very Last Party
“So, my dad is an old amateur radio guy (ham operator), and when I was about 13 to 14, my family was living in a sh*tty duplex while our new house was being built. We had decent neighbors on the other half of the duplex, but every time they went away for the weekend (often), their 18- to 20-year-old son would host these huge parties and did not give two f*cks about noise complaints. We would call the cops, they could come, turn it down, but the music would get turned up right away when they left.
One night, it was getting especially out of hand, and the cops never came to deal with it. Late into the night, my dad gets up, pulls an old radio of his out of the storage closet. (All his gear was packed up since he didn’t have the room for it or his 60-foot antenna tower in this little, sh*thole duplex.) He pulls about 20 feet of unshielded wire off a roll and starts running it out the back of his radio, along the wall, up about five feet, back down, across the wall some more, up again, and back down…
…he knew where the tower speakers were located on the other side of the wall from having coffee the neighbors.
He keys up the mic, and we could hear the click come through the wall. He then shouts. ‘TURN THAT SH*T DOWN!’ into the mic, and it came back through the wall louder than I could hear his voice while standing next to him, and about half of ‘down’ is replaced with a loud ‘whump’ noise followed by silence. Cooked the amplifier for their stereo. Skipped right past any protection circuits inside it.
My dad had an ear to ear grin before we had d*uchebag son pounding on our door. My dad opened the door, and this kid starts throwing punches immediately. We called the cops again now with an assault report and suddenly they show up in minutes. My dad didn’t press charges, but the cops made him apologize, and when his parents got home, they made their son pay for the stereo. That was the last party he ever had.” gt4rc
29. He Imitated People With Down Syndrome, So I Made Him An Extra Spicy Burger
“So, I work in a well-known chicken restaurant chain in England, and on a Monday and Tuesday, two guys with Down syndrome work during the day shift. I’m supposed to give them a bit of money and something to do. They are two of the nicest people I know and have such happy, nice personalities and wish no harm to anybody.
Well, earlier today, these private school, upper-class a**holes strut in, giggling about something. A coworker of mine heard them doing Down syndrome impressions and obviously did not give a flying f*ck if anyone around them could hear them.
So, anyway, they order their food, and one of them orders an extra spicy burger. Well, we SOAKED the bread in extra hot sauce, grilled the tomato in extra hot and basically made a burger so hot, he’s gonna be sh*tting fire for the next week.
He didn’t finish it and was all red and had tears coming down his face. We were all laughing as he left the restaurant full of shame.” bastwank
28. I Outsmarted The HOA
“So, a while back, I was given a UGA Bulldogs flag and a flag pole to mount it on my porch. Our Homeowners Association (HOA) restrictions say that sports team flags can only be flown on a day in which the team is playing. My intention was to only fly it on Saturdays when the football team was playing. So, I put the flag up on a Saturday the Dawgs were playing but forgot to take it down until Monday.
On Friday, I get a letter from the HOA stating that I am in violation of the restriction and could be fined. Okay, fair enough; they are correct on this one. I then noticed that the date of observation was on Wednesday. I called and said that couldn’t be true because I took it down on Monday. Instead of admitting her mistake, she lied and said that she had seen it up on Wednesday. Now I was mad.
I printed off a schedule of every sporting event the Bulldogs had in every sport, even club sports, and then proceeded to fly the flag every single day there was any kind of game, match, regatta, etc., which was almost every single day.
I then started getting letters stating I was in violation again. I would call on each one and explain that the water polo team had a match, or the rowing team had a regatta on those days. After about a month or two of this back and forth, they finally gave up.” Viking042900
27. I Cropped Her Out Of The Yearbook
Although she might have deserved it, this is why high schoolers should never be in charge of designing the yearbook.
“Personally, back when I was in high school, this girl caused me quite a lot of trouble and sh*t throughout the years spreading rumors and causing my friends to turn against me.
Fortunately, I was put in charge of designing the yearbook for our final year. I ended up cropping her out of pictures, sometimes subtle, sometimes obvious (like leave her leg showing but another picture on top).
On other pictures where I couldn’t easily crop her out, I just blurred out her face. It was very subtle, and I was worried someone would notice before it went to print, but it managed to slip through and end up in the final book, which I have around here somewhere.
Needless to say, the day I walked out of school when everyone got their final grades and yearbooks was a great day for me.” antronoid
26. She Thought She Could Steal My Seat… She Thought Wrong
This woman not only deserved a lesson, but losing their seats was good for her children too. Hopefully, they learned from this situation and won’t take after their mom’s entitlement!
“So, I decided that I wanted to go see The Martian today. I took the bus and ended up showing up 50 minutes early. So, I was the only one in the theater for a good 25 minutes, so I took my time picking out my ideal spot.
I decided to go to the bathroom before the movie, so I didn’t miss anything. On my way back with a soft pretzel in my hand, I see a woman with her kids, and she’s moving all of my stuff to a different seat, so she and her kids can take my spot. I stomach it, grab my stuff and move to a different spot.
While I’m sitting there eating my pretzel, I notice her and her kids all going to the bathroom. I seize the opportunity. I run, grab all their stuff, and move it to seats right in front of the entrance, so they’ll see it as soon they walk in. I then reclaim my rightful place in my perfect spot. The lady comes in, sees her stuff, looks at me, connects the dots, and now has been shooting the occasional death glance from the front row and every other spot filled up.” Funky_Ducky
25. That’s What You Get For Stealing My Sandwich
“This happened a while back: study hall in 8th grade, actually. I always brought two small sandwiches to school, so I could have one at lunch and one in study hall since our teacher let us eat in that class.
One day, as I was about to eat my sandwich, I get up to use the bathroom. As I walk back in the classroom, I see the kid in front of me eating my sandwich. I was pretty annoyed but nothing serious at this point, so I confront him politely, and he denies it completely. I left my sandwich on my desk the next day just to make sure it was him, and what do you know, it is.
So, on the third day, I hatched a plan. I put habanero cheese on my sandwich and then doused it all in ghost pepper sauce. That sh*t was everywhere, but it luckily didn’t smell spicy. I get to study hall, and my plan works flawlessly. I leave my trap sandwich on my desk and get up to use the restroom. This time, I take as long as I can and end up wandering the halls of the school. I did this because my study hall teacher was anal about the hall pass, and only one guy was allowed to leave the class at a time, even for water.
After about ten minutes, I come back into the class to be greeted by the sandwich thief crying hysterically with a bright red face waiting for the hall pass. He was in the bathroom for the rest of the day.” iwmcguy
24. Back Of The Line, Ladies!
“On vacation, my boyfriend and I stop at the Louvre. There is a line-up at the little cafe/snack bar. They have those standing barriers with ropes to guide the line-up, but the ropes aren’t pulled across – because people are grown-ups and can see that it’s just a single line down one side of the front display.
Cue a group of young, b*tchy girls in blinged-out clothes deciding they don’t have time to stand in line. They go to the front and stand behind the person currently paying. They pretend to be oblivious to the four to five other people in line now giving them death stares.
I am not in line, but I see their little act. So, I go along and start hooking up the ropes. The girls are gossiping together and ignoring everyone else around them, because hey, what do they care right? So, they don’t notice when I move the barrier just a smidge forward … and hook up the rope in front of them.
The look on their faces when they turn around to order their coffees and find themselves quite obviously outside the queue was just… soooo priceless. Huffing and puffing, they had to totter their high-heeled asses to the back of the (now much longer) line-up.
Enjoy your coffee, ladies!” Reddit user
23. When Interrupting Comes In Handy
“You know the scam: whine about perfectly good food to get some sort of comp.
In their old age, my parents befriended another older couple who would pull this stunt everywhere they went. After my mother told me a few stories about how their new friends had shown them how to get discounted or free meals, I felt like I was suddenly the responsible adult, concerned about the bad influence these people were on my parents.
While visiting my parents with my girlfriend, this other couple attended dinner with us. As I expected, the food was brought to the table, and they immediately began dramatically complaining to one another about the quality/taste/temperature/etc. They were making a scene in order to attract the attention of the waitress.
When our waitress returned to ask how we were doing, the miserable, old b*stard who played the lead role in their act took a deep breath, struck a dramatic pose (with his hand raised to begin gesticulating for emphasis) and bega– I leaned forward and cut him off before he could finish the first word: ‘Everything is absolutely fantastic. It’s all great! Thank you very much!’
She smiled, and began her obligatory, ‘Great, well if you need any–’ when he made a second attempt. ‘We come here all the time an–.’ I didn’t acknowledge that he was speaking at all, repeated that all was just as we ordered and thank her again.
He was stunned and thrown off from his routine by my interruption. During this pause, the waitress walked away. (It seemed clear that she knew what they were trying to accomplish.) He turned bright red.
I turned to my girlfriend and, smiling and without lowering my voice, stated how pitiful it is that some people could be dishonest, deceitful and put at risk the livelihood of a cook, server or hostess for a pathetic discount or a free early-bird special.
My passive-aggressive reverse-parenting broke my parents of the habit in a short time.” rabblebad239
22. I Released Crickets Into My Ex’s House
“I like to end my relationships amicably. I am friends with a few of my exes. This one, however, has been a weapons-grade d*uchebag to me for a couple of years and then threw me and my children out suddenly with nothing but the clothes on our backs and made a few choice death threats to me. Don’t worry, the police are involved.
Well, a few hours earlier, I went with a police escort to gather the rest of mine and my children’s belongings. He was sitting on the couch with his new girlfriend, both drunk as f*ck. The officer stayed with them.
I went to what used to be our bedroom, packed my belongings quickly, packed my children’s things, then released 100 crickets under his bed, in his closet, in his dressers, and in what used to be the children’s bedroom.
I made sure there were more male crickets than female, so they’ll be noisy as all hell while attempting to find a mate, and these little buggers will eat anything, wood, clothing, and they’re very good at hiding during the day.” -Ex-Nihilo-
21. I Decided Not To Tell Him That He Left His Coffee On Top Of His Car
I think you can see where this is going…
“I was just walking back to my car from class and had to cross the professor’s parking lot to get to the student lot. I came across an older man getting into his car, and I noticed that his large coffee cup is still on the roof of his car. I’ve done this before and really appreciate when someone tells me that I’m about to drive off with my drink on the roof. So, why not pay it forward, right?
‘Hey mister, you..’ -[In the most condescending tone I have ever heard] ‘NO! It’s Doctor!!’ ‘Oh, sorry, Doctor…nevermind.’
So, I just stood there and watched as DOCTOR A**hole throws his Camry in reverse, spilling his FULL cup of coffee all over his windshield and window. Dr. Snarky flashes me a look that could only be a look of remorse mixed with anger. He probably realized that I was just trying to help but was pissed that I decided not to.
He didn’t even get out of the car; he just sped off.” Paranoia515
20. We Got Her To Quit Yapping
“I take the train to work each morning and then again to get home. I like to sit in the quiet car because it allows me to think and do a little extra work each day. On the train ride home today a woman in front of me kept talking on the phone even after people nicely asked her to be quiet. The conductor also came through and informed her she was in a quiet car.
The seats we are in have very little support, so someone behind you could push your seat and you’d feel it. Several riders decided it wasn’t worth it and switched cars. I decided I had enough and slouched far enough, so both of my knees were firmly in the back of her seat pushing fairly hard. She cocked her head around and told me to put my knees down. I closed my eyes and fake slept.
She got up and moved to a different seat. There was a person behind her, and guess what he did? Knees to the back of the chair. People started catching on, and she chose a seat with no one behind her. Another rider changed seats behind her, and she got some more knees.
The conductor came through again and was unaware of our little revenge. She got up and told him that people were putting knees into her back and stalking her to each spot. The conductor put his index finger to his lips and said, ‘Shhhh, this is a quiet car.’
She moved to a new train car.” Reddit user
19. I Pooped In The Bathroom When He Had A Girl Over
“So, my roommate had been using up all my baby wipes, and he said to me he would stop. Well, the past two days, he started doing it again along with using my toothpaste and not even f*cking being kind enough to put the cap back on after using it.
So, I confronted him about this AGAIN, and he said, ‘Whatever, I don’t give a sh*t. Hide it somewhere then.’ Nah… Nah, I will keep it there. I have an idea.
A couple of days ago, he said he has a girl coming over and would like to get some action and to leave him alone. I said, ‘OK, no worries.’ So, about an hour before she came over, I pretended to leave and said I am heading out for the night. Five minutes later, I snuck back in while he was making dinner for both of them.
I got to my room and hid in there knowing that for a fact at some point in the night she would ask to use the bathroom, and I needed to take a sh*t. So, 45 minutes goes by, and she arrived, and I am just waiting. About two hours after she gets there, I hear him go take a piss. AH, perfect! He went first!
Now time to take a big fat f*cking sh*t. I run into the bathroom and crap as quiet as I possibly can. A huge load. And I don’t flush or put the lid down. I go back to my room and wait. I stare at the clock and sit there giggling like Quagmire. Exactly 28 minutes go by, and whoooop, there she goes into the bathroom.
She was in there for exactly six seconds and came out. Seven minutes later, she leaves.” Reddit user
Another User Comments:
“A drop or two of red food coloring would have gone over really well.” NibbleFish
18. I Made Sure They Got Stuck On The Elevator
“I was staying in an older hotel in San Francisco. The elevator was very small, very old school and had signage everywhere about how you couldn’t operate it with more than 4 people. I’d also been stuck in there twice already that weekend (the elevator would stop between floors). Each time, I called the front desk and they were able to recall it to the ground floor but I’d learned to be wary.
I should have started taking the stairs, but was on the 8th floor and was feeling lazy. So on Sunday morning I waited for the elevator for quite a while (it was pretty slow). It arrives, I hop in and a family of 5 walks up to the elevator and follows me in. They were all large people and they all had huge suitcases. I politely pointed out the sign and said that I’d already been stuck in the elevator twice and that we should split the group into two. They laughed and said they were all staying on. Welp, I thought, enjoy your ride.
I proceeded to run up the stairs and hit the call button on every single floor. The best part was that I could hear them complaining from the stairwell every time the elevator opened and nobody was there. Petty revenge never felt so good.” chicagojess312
17. I Led Him To Believe That He Was Wetting The Bed
Everything’s funny until it happens to you.
“When I was a kid, I had a bed wetting problem. My younger brother started telling other kids around school how extensive the issue was. I was mortified.
Even after our mother told him to knock it off, he continued. So, I decided to level the playing field. The whole ‘hand in cup of warm water’ deal didn’t work. I stood over him as he slept one night and peed on him. The next morning, my mom was horrified and wound up taking a call from my grandmother.
‘I don’t know what to do. Now BOTH of them are peeing the bed,’ she explained, clearly frustrated.
After a few more times of ‘framing’ my brother as a bed wetter, he completely stopped using my embarrassing problem as entertainment.” Reddit user
16. Don’t Leave Your Shopping Cart Behind My Vehicle
“This first happened several years ago in a dollar store parking lot when I was still in college.
Finished my shopping, I come up to my little car, all ready to head home. I hop inside and start ‘er up, doing my checks before leaving. Important to note there is a car parked in front of me, a car to the right, and a larger minivan to the left; I’m boxed in and can only back my vehicle out.
As I was about to leave, the younger couple in the van parked to the left had just pulled up with their cart and were beginning to unload. Not wanting to be rude and spook them or accidentally bump someone, I patiently waited for them to finish putting everything away. No problems! I even gave them a smile when they happened to look my way.
The couple finishes and the wife gets in the passenger side of the van. The husband grabs the cart- good man! He’s going to put it away in the cart bin right over there! Wait, what? No. I watched in horror as the man LEFT HIS SHOPPING CART DIRECTLY BEHIND MY CAR THEN WALKED AWAY. You have got to be kidding me! The f*cking cart box is a few steps away. You had no issues walking it this far already! F*cking lazy piece of sh*t.
Can you tell I was mad? I was fuming. I just wanted to go home to study, and now I had to deal with this a**hole’s shopping cart blocking me in. So, I did what any good girl does: I waited.
I watched him saunter back to his minivan. He didn’t see me quietly ninja out of my car and grab the cart, nor did he see me when he got inside the van, and I rolled that mother f*cking cart directly behind his stupid vehicle, alongside the bumper, handlebars unable to even be seen under the little back window. Then I ran to my car, backed out, and laughed as I drove away with the windows down.
Leaving the parking lot to the sound of a minivan running over a shopping cart, and the pissed screams of his wife, really made my day. Judging by the satisfying crashing sound, he must have just floored it backing out.
My only regret was not looping back to see the full results of my pettiness. I bet it was expensive to fix, though.” petty-cart-pusher
15. I Did Naked Yoga While My Landlord Was Showing My Unit To A Potential Tenant
“To be clear I am a male. (Sorry to ruin any dreams.)
Basically, I haven’t had the greatest landlord and have gotten screwed over a few times by him but never really did anything about it.
So, now I am moving out in the next few months, and he has been showing my place to potential new tenants, and the rate of showings is getting rather annoying. So, this evening, I thought it would be a good time to send a clear message that I have had enough of the showings.
I was given the standard notice of when they were going to be coming by, but I wasn’t going to let that interrupt my ‘schedule.’ So, when the landlord opened the door to show the prospective tenants in, the first thing they see is me doing the side-plank pose naked as the day I was born. The look of horror on the lady’s face when she saw me was priceless.
Long story short, the only thing that was shown was my naked glory and a very bewildered landlord. I am still waiting for his response to my interpretation of a ‘showing.'” icarusflewtooclose
14. He Copied My Bogus Notes
“I had a guy in school who would always skip class and then ask for my notes. We had a group project worth almost 40% of our grade, and he did zero work, and the professor told me, ‘Tough luck.’
Instead of just saying no the next time he asked for notes, I took the low road and began giving him edited versions. I would leave items out of lists, incorrectly define things or just straight up write stuff that makes no sense.
An example of the crap I would put in: To calculate return on investment, subtract your yearly earnings from your current bank balance, then multiply by Echer’s factorial (4.22).
If he had even once bothered to crack the text, he would have figured it out, but that apparently would have been too much effort for him.
He retook that class.” trexradar87
13. I Got Back At The Picky Manager For Failing To Hire Me
Since when was facial stubble a reason not to hire someone? Does this manager not realize that facial hair can be removed?
“I got turned down by the manager at a job interview for team member at Dominos because of my stubble facial hair.
Weeks later, I order from that same Dominos, and that same manager is the one who delivers my order, which is around $25, and I couldn’t help but notice he has stubble facial hair. So, I gave him no tip and told him the exact same thing he told me.
It’s not exactly like this, but something similar: ‘Why do you have all that facial hair? Do you think customers wanna see that? Anyways, I won’t be giving you a tip this time. Maybe when I order again, I’ll be giving you a tip, but of course, remember to shave.’
He looked at me with one of those ‘Can’t believe this sh*t’ expression while having a slight smirk on his face. He snatched the receipt out of my hand once I gave it back to him.” remorse667
Another User Comments:
“I don’t understand why facial hair is still taboo. If it’s well-groomed, it’s perfectly professional.” avidworks
12. She Called Me Ugly, So I Threw A Piece Of Ham At Her
“This one time when I was about 15 or 16, I was about to walk inside my building, had just placed the keys in the lock, when, reflected in the door, I see two girls walking by behind me.
I can actually hear one of them say, as she points at me: ‘Let’s talk to this guy,’ but then her friend goes, ‘No, not him. He’s ugly. Let’s go.’
The girl that actually wanted to talk to me was cute and everything, man. So, not only did her friend c*ckblock me (so to speak), but she also called me ugly, and that hurt.
I walk upstairs, walk into my place and then walk over to the balcony to see if I can spot the girls. They’re right across the street, talking to each other, and the c*ckblocker is being a bit loud and obnoxious. That did it for me.
I walk back into the kitchen, grab a slice of ham, and swoosh, threw it at the girl. Direct hit. She had a total ‘What the f*ck” look on her face, which made me smile.
Of course, in retrospect, that was a stupid thing to do and I wouldn’t do it again.” Coveiro
11. Maybe Next Time She Won’t Put Her Feet On The Back Of Someone’s Seat
I’m sure watching the movie was a blast for her!
“I was out to a movie with my friends last night. We come and sit down, and I realize pretty soon that this girl in the row behind us has her feet up on my friend David’s seat… So, David turns around, and he says something like, ‘Uh, do you think you could put your feet down?’ And I think they say something in response, but I didn’t hear it.
The feet didn’t go down… So, I tell David that he should go find an employee and get them to talk to this girl. She is obviously pretty peeved but begrudgingly agrees to put her feet down. After the employee leaves, she puts her feet right back up.
So, I get out of my seat, walk up two rows, sit down in the seat directly behind this girl, and stick my foot on the back of her chair and push it forward. They both turn around and try to say something to me, but I can’t really hear them since the movie had started by this point, so I just say, ‘Just watch the movie.’
I kept my feet up there the entire movie.” deliasen
10. I Didn’t Quite Give Her The Entire Recipe
“Let’s start by saying that I make a pretty scrumptious carrot cake. I spent a few months tweaking recipes I found online until I felt I had unlocked maximum deliciousness. I bake quite a bit, but the carrot cake is sort of my specialty, and I sell it to a couple of local restaurants every so often. My coworkers, especially my boss, are crazy about it.
I work in a small private language academy. My boss is a bit of a psychotic control-freak, and one day, in a move to enact some petty revenge of her own, she locked the door to the copy room and hid the key in her office. This was to punish all the teachers for leaving the door open between classes, which I guess bothers her because she is afraid students will go inside the staff room and mess with the photocopier and/or other things we use for class, never mind that this childish behavior affects the students more than us by depriving them of class materials. I wasn’t going to lose any sleep if they didn’t get their Wordsearch copied, but it was the principle of the thing.
So, my boss has been pestering me for a long time to give her my recipe, so she can make carrot cake at home. Up until now, I’d just been procrastinating, but after this incident, I typed it up nicely and emailed it to her. I just accidentally forgot to include the key ingredients that make it especially moist and tasty.” diatomic
9. She Made The Neighborhood Brats Think She Bought Them Ice Cream
“I recently moved to a small city for work, and the first place I lived was amazing, nice quiet area, large house, friendly neighbors in general. I really lucked out.
That is, however, until the two hellspawn from the house next door made themselves known to me. Let it be known that I don’t like children that much to begin with, but if they’re polite and well behaved, then there are no problems. These two kids were not and could often be heard whining and screaming loudly in the street, often as late as eleven at night because their parents apparently did not give a f*ck. Now, this I could tolerate; my house is well soundproofed with the windows closed.
My house had a driveway which I did not use at all because I don’t yet own a car. These little sh*tnuggets would use it to play football/soccer, and if that wasn’t bad enough, they would directly aim for the windows of the house. On more than one occasion, I had to run out, fearing a broken window, and tell them to get lost. They would run away laughing and would return again shortly after when I wasn’t looking.
So, one day, I happened to be sitting outside my house reading a book and enjoying a rare patch of sunny weather. The kids were also outside giving me the stink eye because they couldn’t play in front of my house. This alone would have been satisfying revenge for me, but it gets better. An ice-cream van likes to travel around that neighborhood, and as soon as the tell-tale music started playing, these kids ran to their mother demanding money for frozen treats. Mummy said ‘No’ very firmly, and these kids started screaming and wailing like banshees, with stamping of feet and crocodile tears. Thoroughly entertaining stuff.
Seeing an opportunity, I went to the ice cream van. I bought two large ice creams with sprinkles, turned towards the kids and smiled at the hope in their young faces. Then I turned back to my house and ate every last bit of those two cones with a great big smile on my face. The crying of those two brats only made it more delicious.” tourmaline82
8. I Stole His Expensive Golf Ball
Not only did he get his expensive golfball stolen, but he got caught up in some nettle while he was searching for his “lost” ball!
“I was out golfing today because, f*ck yeah, summer. I was on the green putting with my group. I was lining up to putt for birdie (a good score on a hole, one under par), when I hear a golf ball land close. Very close. Like, three feet away close. That would have hurt, and the guy who hit it didn’t even yell ‘FORE’ (to warn other golfers that a small white projectile might be heading their way). The golf ball rolled down a small embankment and into a sand trap next to the green.
Whatever. Sh*t happens. Then the guy shows up, decked head to toe in LaCoste gear, chewing a massive wad of gum and wearing jersey shore type sunglasses. My buddy is about to putt, and this guy strolls up to the edge of the green and just yells out ‘EY. I HIT A BALL THIS WAY. WHERE IS IT?’ right in the middle of my friend’s backswing (a big no-no in golf etiquette). No apology, refusing to wait until the player playing has hit his shot, and demanding to know where his ball was. Like we’re gonna help you.
‘Yeah, it went into those trees over there.’ I say, pointing at a thick copse of trees about 40 yards to the right of where we’re standing. Long grass, not a lot of room to move, and plenty of thistle bushes.
A**holio turns on his heel and stalks off towards the trees and starts rooting around in them for his ball. I hear the occasional ‘F*ck!’ and ‘Ow!’ coming from his general direction, presumably when he jabs himself on some thistle.
While he’s rooting around in there, I casually stroll over to the bunker (sand trap) and pick up his ball. It’s a Titleist Pro V1 (the priciest golf ball you can find that skilled golfers use to play good and that sh*tty golfers use to look good). I pocket the ball and proceed on my merry way to the joyous cacophony of cursing from the trees and thistle.
I used that ball for the rest of the round, and am debating keeping it for posterity’s sake.” Strange_Bedfellow
7. Sorry, I’m Not “Experienced” Enough
“So, I’ve worked at a popular fast-food chain for quite a while now, but even so, there’s this one manager and her little crony, let’s call them Sarah (manager) and Sally (crony), who insist, every single time we work together, that Sarah has to explain to me, in detail, how to do my job. ‘This is how you take orders,’ ‘This is how you wash dishes,’ etc.
Well, about a week ago, I got pretty fed up with it. I was just done. I know how to do my job, and everyone knows that I know how to do my job. I frequently get scheduled for pre-close shifts (right before the store closes) because I’m good enough that I make the closer’s job a lot easier when I pre-close. And that night, I was pre-closing for Sarah. Perfect opportunity.
Store policy is that inexperienced persons are not allowed to wash dishes by hand (even though it makes it 10x faster to do so while you use the washer simultaneously), as the head honchos don’t want anything not getting washed good enough. So, since Sarah obviously thinks I’m inexperienced, I decide I’m just gonna wash dishes via the dishwasher, even though doing so is so much slower, but I wouldn’t want to break any rules, right?
Cue the end of my shift, literally maybe a fifteenth of what I would have gotten done had been done, and today, a week later, I learned that after everyone else left, Sarah and Sally had to stay until the openers started showing up in order to complete what I didn’t do, since they don’t do that stuff very often and are pretty slow at it.
Most satisfying moment of my life was to learn that today.” idk_just_bored
6. A Literal Wake Up Call
“So, a short back story… I live on a military base and have a roommate. He sucks, he is weird, smells, doesn’t ever help clean or purchase stuff for the room and has no manners.
Weird—— As in, I’ll be on a call with my girlfriend and will laugh at things and comment on the conversation I’m having on the phone WHILE it is going on. He also moans when he walks around in the morning as if he had worked out for 10 hours the day before. He also does not know what headphones are, so he watches Netflix and blasts his sh*t all the time; I can hear it over my headphones.
Cleaning— He believes just vacuuming is good enough. We have ‘white-glove’ inspections – no dust anywhere or any type of ‘filth,’ such as a dirty microwave, which we always have because he eats a sh*t ton of Hot Pockets.
Nightime—- He snores, which is annoying enough, but the absolute worst is when he falls asleep with his f*cking iPad or phone playing a show. This is CURRENTLY happening as I type this out. His dumb a** phone is blasting a show while he is knocked out snoring. F*ck my sleep, huh?
Revenge time!!! So, I love petty revenge, so of course, I had to start reacting to this crap in the pettiest way I could think of. SO, now when he does this sh*t, or I just randomly feel like it’s a good time to be extra petty and he falls asleep before me, I go into my iPhone settings, and I move my ringer volume up all the way. When you do that, it plays the ringtone. I do this until he wakes up and then pretends as if it was a real call, and I answer it as if someone has the wrong number. Works perfectly since I got a new number once he moved in, must be all the old friends of whoever had this number before.
Enjoy trying to fall back asleep after getting woke up in the middle of the night, b*tch. I usually pass out right after with a petty smile on my face.” MDP8888
5. I Took My Sweet Time Leaving The Drive-Thru
Honking does not and will not ever make anyone work or drive faster, and in this case, will make things actually go slower.
“If you’re not familiar with this west coast fast-food chain, the drive-thru line takes a long time due to the sheer amount of constant business they get. Yeah… It’s that good.
So, I’m in my car by myself, and eventually, it’s my turn to order. I order a standard #1 meal (double cheeseburger, fries, drink). 10+ minutes later, and I’m finally at the window to pick up my food. The employee informs me that my food will be ready soon and goes back into the kitchen.
The a**hat behind me decides to start honking his horn as if it will make things move faster. I look in my side-view mirror, and he has his arm sticking out his window, and with each honk, he would twist his palm upward making the ‘what the f*ck’ motion like he was in such disbelief that the drive-thru would take so many precious minutes from his life.
In his defense, I did wait there a lot longer than usual. This doesn’t justify that he should have been honking his a** off, though, and showing he was visually pissed off by flailing his arm around out of his window.
Finally, my food was ready, and they pass the bag over to me. At that exact moment, I thought, ‘petty revenge.’ I reached into the bag, took a few fries out and started munching on them. Swallowed and took a sip of my drink and waited for the guy to honk again. He did. The employee was already annoyed at the honker as well, and he saw what I was doing and was laughing his a** off. I ate two more fries and then finally left.” 10thplanetwestLA
Another User Comments:
“You should have asked the employee for a few packets of salt, then you should have asked them for some ketchup, and then you should have asked them for a bunch of napkins in case you spill your soda.
As my dad always said, ‘If you are in such a f*cking hurry, why are you behind me?’ Lack of planning on your part doesn’t mean I give a sh*t.” weirdal1968
4. Interrupted Gameplay
“My brother for some reason HATES using his laptop in his room, even though he has a desk. He comes downstairs to sit in the lounge next to my room and games until really late at night with his friends (always talking really loud/yelling into his headset) while I’m trying to work/study/sleep. He utterly refuses to go to his room when I ask, claiming that he has every right to be there because I ‘don’t own downstairs.’
He is in a competitive gaming clan, often competing in Tribes: Ascend competitions with cash prizes. I have written a script that turns the internet off for five minutes every 10 minutes, just enough time for him to get into a game and then have his connection drop and then repeat 10 minutes later.” dem0n
3. That Sure Got His Attention
“I was dating a guy who was about 7 years older than me, and we have a good relationship going. All of a sudden, he quits talking to me out of the blue, and I had no idea what was going on. I finally just texted him to see if I could get the stuff I left over at his house. (I just recently purchased about $200 worth of lingerie and left it over at his house to be used at a later date.) I still got no response.
The next week, his MySpace status changes to that of being in a relationship. Ok…well, crap. I ended up not getting my stuff back and was pretty pissed about it, so I waited a couple of weeks, and at around 5 p.m. on a Friday of Labor Day weekend (so everyone is off on Monday), I told him I had ‘something,’ and he needed to get himself checked. He responded wanting to know more, but I didn’t answer him.
I didn’t have anything. I just wanted him to squirm.” nolooking
2. He Wouldn’t Let My Husband Sit, So I Sabotaged His Dart Game
What a horrible human being to deny a seat to someone with a broken ankle.
“My husband had badly broken his ankle two weeks before but was going stir crazy after being cooped up, so we decided that we would still go to a pub crawl our friends had put together. I agreed to stay sober to drive him between the bars, and we figured he would be able to sit once we were there, so it wouldn’t be a problem.
At the first bar, though, there was only one open stool. I help my husband get over there and set him up, crutches and all, only to have this d*uchebag come running over from a dart game and tell my husband to get up that it was his chair. I asked if he could please sit there while the guy was playing darts, as he obviously had a cast up to his knee and crutches and needed to sit, and the guy was a complete d*ckface. He started yelling about being there first, how he was a regular, etc.
Two other guys at the bar who were sitting at a nearby table heard what was going on and awesomely both got up so my husband could not only sit down but prop up his ankle. I was pissed at that guy though, so I waited, and when he went off to the bathroom, I took all the darts and hid them so he couldn’t play anymore. F*ck him.” kalamity24
1. I Hid All The Menus In The Restaurant
“I worked at a restaurant right out of college before I found my now current job. I left the restaurant because the d*uche owner decided he was going to start charging all employees $0.28/hr to drink water and soda during their shift. He sent a note on the next paycheck asking everyone to agree or turn in your two weeks. We are already making nothing, so that was just the last straw.
On my last day, I hung out after my shift and grabbed a few drinks at the bar. When the manager was in his office, and no one was looking, I went around and stole all of the menus in the restaurant and hid them inside one of the booths. (The booths were almost like a box when the top cushion came off, and it was empty inside.)
They didn’t find the menus for three days and had to give out carry out menus. (Eventually, a coworker of whom I trusted ratted me out.) The one downfall was when Captain D*uche Nozzle sent a manager I actually liked into the dumpster to find the menus that were thrown out. When the manager came back with nothing, CDN sent him in to look again.” IAintSeenNothing
It’s crazy to see how far someone will go just to make a point to someone and show them what they deserve. What goes around usually comes back around, but in these cases, someone just had to make sure of it!
Would you ever dare commit any of the previous petty acts of revenge? I know I couldn’t do most of them! Share what you’ve got. Tell us everything.