People Open Up About Their Comeback Revenge Stories
40. Dump Water All Over Our Stuff? We'll Make Your Hallway Reek Of Stinky Cheese
“The guys on the third floor in residence had been a problem for the whole first semester, frequently coming down randomly to the second floor with buckets and throwing water all over the second floor, getting our beds, clothes and of course books and notes wet, then running upstairs and locking their door to us before we could react.
This had happened every few weeks for months and we were getting sick of it. But we could never get them back.
Just before Christmas one of our guys was eating Limburger cheese when he had an idea.
For those of you who aren’t familiar with Limburger, it tastes quite good but it smells horrible. I won’t describe the smell in case somebody reading might want to try the cheese because it really does taste good – a LOT better than it smells.
Anyway, his idea was to wrap the cheese in cellulose and then, just before Christmas break, put the wrapped cheese on the coils at the back of the fridge in our small kitchenette.
We were away for Christmas for at least two weeks, maybe three. When we got back the Limburger lover went to check on his ‘babies’. He said it was ripe – REALLY RIPE!
So that night around 2 AM about a half dozen of us each put on some gloves (provided by me from the biology labs) and grabbed a block of cheese before heading up to the third floor. There we quickly proceeded to grate the cheese into the electric baseboard heaters in the hallways of the third floor.
Then we calmly went back to our floor and to bed.
The story that we heard the next day was that when the students on the third floor got up in the morning the air outside their rooms was so thick you could cut it with a (cheese?) knife. What I did see though was that in the following week (mid-January, very cold) theirs was the only floor in the residence that had all their windows open in the middle of a three-day blizzard.
No, none of us got caught in the act and although they couldn’t prove it of course they knew who was responsible.
They learned their lesson well though and never again did they raid us in any way, shape, or form.”
39. My Mom Took Her Doritos Obsession To A Whole New Level
“Years ago when my father and mother were still married, we decided to host a family Memorial Day celebration. My dad went grocery shopping in preparation and got a family-sized bag of Doritos. My mother looooved them and could eat a whole bag by herself. Very seldom did my father or siblings get any.
Well, you can imagine my father’s delight when he opened the cabinet door the next day and saw a whole unopened bag of Doritos! He congratulated her on resisting temptation and allowing the bag to survive a whole 24 hours. She just kind of smiled and took the congratulations. My dad began cooking but had to throw something away. Upon opening the trash he saw a red plastic bag at the bottom of the can that looked like it was intentionally placed there. Because it was. So he went to my older brother who was a teenager at the time and asked if my mother had eaten the bag and replaced it with a new one.
My older brother said verbatim ‘I’m not allowed to speak of this.’ So my dad made a plan.
He called my mother into the kitchen and began chatting with her as he was cooking the holiday meals. During this, a bunch of stuff got thrown into that same garbage can. I’m talking veggie scraps, eggshells, bacon grease, old stuff in our fridge he just randomly saw that needed to be thrown away. By the end of the conversation, the trash bag was a sloppy liquid mess. He then took the opportunity to lie that he was so excited the Doritos are still there because he saw that there was a movie promotion on the back of the bag where if you buy one movie ticket you get the second one free and they were going to see the movie they had been really wanting to see. She stood there watching in horror as he dumped more eggshells into the trash.
She then decided the trash need to be emptied and she told my older brother to ‘take out the trash but not do anything special with the bag.’ My older brother rolled his eyes but did as she asked. Conveniently, she suddenly ‘remembered’ that the proofs of my recital photos were ready and needed to be reviewed.
She came back 5 hours later. My dad walked in on her in the garage to find her with the sloppy messy bag of trash opened and spread out on the floor, each item meticulously arranged in a way that everything was easy to see. He asked her where she had been and then it was her turn to spill the beans. It turns out she had gone to literally every building that sold Doritos and fought with numerous store clerks about the promotion on the back of the bag. Every gas station, every chain grocery store, every independent grocery store in a three-county radius.
My dad busted up laughing and my mother still ate whole bags of Doritos after that.
A bonus story: my father started working at the grocery store in our town that my mother visited. It turns out that the manager dealt with my mother on her little Dorito tirade. He said, ‘yeah I remember that’ when my dad brought it up one day.”
38. Park In My Garage? I'll Toss Your Passenger Seat To The Curb
“When I was about 4 or 5, I used to live in a little house right across an amusement park. All I remember is that parking costs a pretty penny. That’s why some people would come and park right across the street from us. So on summer days, our street was packed.
And although that sometimes irked my parents, ONE woman took it way too far. She didn’t park across the street. She didn’t park in the middle of the street. No, she parked in our GARAGE.
My dad was a bit…surprised. So he didn’t do anything too big, he just got in his car and parked right behind her (horizontally) so that she couldn’t get out. Then we all left for a couple of hours.
When we got back she was upset, and we just laughed it off thinking it was a one-time thing.
But it wasn’t. She did it again. Parked right back in our garage.
But, this time she caught my dad in a bad mood. He saw the car there, then picked the lock on her car door. He went inside, grabbed her cup of lemonade, and spilled it all over the floor. Then he dismantled the passenger seat and left it on the curb of our house.
He waited and watched.
The woman walked right up into our driveway, not even noticing that the seat was RIGHT THERE. When she went into our garage, the first thing she noticed was her cup on the floor. She cussed and got into the car.
Then we heard another string of cuss words and she came out of the car. My dad, watching all of this from the window, started laughing.
The lady, who probably heard the sound of an animal wheezing in my house, was upset and probably scared.
She picked up her seat from the curb of our house and put it into her car.
Never again did we hear from that lady.”
37. Don't Belittle The Housecleaner During That Time Of The Month
“I once went to work with a friend who did housecleaning for this guy who was a real jerk. He would stand over her head and yell at her while she was cleaning. She was a newly single mom and cleaned for him once a week (and a few other clients too) while trying to find a better job. He was really belittling her and in general, being a total jerk. He sent her out to McDonald’s to get him a latte and told her she better be quick.
After picking up the latte, she decided that he was such a jerk and she should do something disgusting to the latte. But what? I swear to God, she went in the back seat, dropped her pants, and removed her tampon. (She was on her period). She then soaked it and swirled it in the latte before throwing the used tampon out the window. She then proceeded to deliver the latte to the jerk. I sat there and watched him drink it. I was partially horrified and partially trying to hold in the laughter. He said the latte was one of the best he’d had in a while. Disgusting, but true.”
36. Hold Up The Line? No Rewards For You
“I was 16, working my first job in customer service at a book/stationery shop in my city. I started in the summer, and it came to August, school book time.
Lots of moms and dads were coming in every day with a big list of books their kids need for school that year, plus lots of stationery. Most of them were super nice and normal.
But one day, this lady comes in. Classic soccer mom type, too busy and in a hurry to be polite and reasonable.
It was coming closer to the start of school, so all the last-minute parents were coming in to pick up their kid’s books. It’s super busy, and I’m on my own working the section.
So this lady is at the top of the queue with all her kid’s books, everything’s normal until she spots the loyalty card stand and decides she wants to fill it out and get the points for this purchase.
I ask her to step to the side and fill it in and I will check her out when she’s ready because there are 5 other parents waiting to pay for dozens of school books.
This woman doesn’t move and decides to fill it in in front of the cash register, letting no one else buy their books and holding everyone up. The queue gets longer and longer. She’s there for a solid 5 mins filling in the details, reading the terms and conditions, all that jazz.
She doesn’t listen to me, is really rude and the other customers are annoyed at her but there’s nothing we can do.
She gets to the personal details section and starts to go off saying how ‘bookshop isn’t going to get my address and email, they don’t need that from me, that’s too personal, why do they need that?’ blah blah and doesn’t complete the form correctly.
Without all the details (email specifically) your account can’t be verified and activated nor can you be contacted about your card, your discounts, etc.
I chose not to fight her on this, scan her items, scan her brand new loyalty card (which she’ll never be able to use), and she hands her (incomplete) details back to me to activate her card.
She doesn’t thank me and leaves. Immediately, I bin her details card and carry on serving customers. The next customer saw what I did and thought it was pretty funny. It was nice that I could get my little revenge and another customer approved.
I saw her come back a couple of times after this, for the newspaper, some extra books for school, using her loyalty card each time. I like to think she’s tried to use it for discounts and was told it’s inactive, all her former purchases going to waste.
You gotta love customer service”
35. We Scared Away The Boy Our Sister Liked And She Got Us Back Good
“A three for 1 for you: My sister, when she was 13 or so and really blooming into a full-time vengeful jerk, started getting really interested in the neighborhood boys. I’m 5 years older than her and my brother is 6 years older, so when a neighborhood boy came calling one summer when we’re home from College, we said we would go get her and sat him down in the living room. Of course, we don’t go get her, we proceed to interrogate the kid.
We start asking him, ‘So, what do you do for a living?’ and other questions, all leading to his ability to provide for and be a husband and father to our sister (keep in mind, this kid is 14). My sister finds out because the kid called her after he ran out of the house in a panic after 15 minutes or so of awkward discussions about his ability to care for and feed the 6 children my sister wants.
My sis dead eyes my brother and me and says, ‘It will come.’
Several weeks later, my brother is sleeping on the couch shirtless and she walks in with a roll of duct tape, slaps it on his armpit, and rips the hair out. While he is whimpering, she looks at me and says, ‘You’re next.’ A week later, I was going out for a bike ride (this is in summer in Florida) and about 5 minutes into the ride, my privates start burning. 30 seconds later, I am on the ground in pain. I stumble back home to take a shower and get whatever napalm I have on my boys off and as I leave the bathroom, finally relieved, she is standing there with a stick of Icy Hot and says, ‘You know when this stuff is put through the dryer, you really can’t feel it until it gets damp, can you?'”
34. You Really Think They'll Fire Me To Keep You? Think Again
“I started a job as a supervisor of a VIP breakfast lounge in an upscale hotel. One of my coworkers approached me the first day (no, the first HOUR) to say she wouldn’t work with so-and-so because they were so lazy. I promised to carefully observe and address it if needed, but… the girl she identified was never lazy. She worked hard as well.
Fast forward, this girl who on my first day demanded not to work with another person, lies constantly, reiterates information to my team as though I said it (when I did not), and overall just had a problem with authority. Everything I recommended, she questioned or argued about. Even things that I made clear to her that came from upper management were debated.
Someone finally explained to me (months into the job) that she was bothered because she had applied for the supervisor position but instead they’d given it to me.
And, she thought I was absolutely unfit for the job and did not want to work beneath me. I remained professional with her and didn’t react to the information. It gave context but I had no other use for it.
In the end, she went to upper management and repeated all of her complaints about the millionth time. You see, little did I know, but she’d been reporting my ‘mistakes’ (lies, misrepresentations, and a tiny bit of truth) the entire time we had been working together. This time, however, she added that she wouldn’t work with me and handed in her notice.
Well, the joke was on her because a week later when she saw they weren’t going to fire me just to keep her, she stated she wanted to rescind her notice.
Management then ASKED ME if they should allow her to rescind her notice. I admitted that I felt she was negative energy within the team and really had hurt morale. That I had been looking forward to things improving and running smoother, and everyone relaxing, and that in fact, the team didn’t want her either. (They were over the petty drama).
And since I had been professional, silent, and NOT petty the whole time, they took my word for it.
So, they didn’t let her rescind her notice.
Little did she know, I had already gotten another job offer and wouldn’t be around to deal with her or not, whether she stayed or left.
Once she was finally officially removed from the company, I gave my notice.
Management joked, ‘Hey! Maybe Olga will come back?’
But they didn’t invite her.
In fact, she couldn’t find another job in beautiful Austin, so she had to move back to Arizona.
And that’s what happens when jealousy literally ruins opportunities for you.”
33. Throw Your Nasty Chewed Gum At Me? I'll Place Mine In Your Cup Holder
“I walk around my neighborhood every evening after dinner for some exercise. About a week ago, while I’m walking down the sidewalk, I see a jacked-up green Jeep with monster tires turn onto the same road and head towards me. The jeep looks like an older Army style, so it’s different than a lot of the newer Jeeps around. There’s a teen/early twenties girl riding shotgun staring at me. I watched her take her gum out of her mouth, then she threw it and hit me in the shoulder! She was definitely trying to hit me. I was shocked and yelled ‘You jerk!!’ at her and gave her the double bird, but they sped off down the road.
I’ve been looking out for that jeep ever since, and I found it last night parked in a driveway about a mile from where they hit me. So I went home and found some gum and chewed it up, then wrote a note saying ‘Your passenger threw this at me so I brought it back’ and stuck the gum to the note. Then I rode my bike back to their house and threw my note into the jeep so it landed in their cup holders.
I had been considering a bunch of other things to throw into that jeep if I found it.. like I also walk my dog every day and pick up her poop in nice, throwable bags… but I decided a note with a little chewed up gum was good enough for me to get my petty revenge.”
32. Steal My Girl? I'll Keep You On Your Toes For Six Months Straight
“In the late ‘90s, I was serving as an active-duty U.S. Marine Infantryman and was in what I consider to be the first serious relationship of my life. Said relationship ended when she decided that the lies and attentions of one of my platoon mates were preferable to being with me, and thus cheated on me.
I was emotionally impacted about as one might expect but thankfully had many good friends to lean on to get over my upset. Unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on your view), this took place just before our unit was set to deploy to Okinawa for six months.
If I may be indulged a short digression, the individual she chose over me was not only a liar, he was weak. Oh, he could carry his combat gear, but mentally and such, he was almost the softest person I have ever met. He also couldn’t fight his way clear of a thin layer of newspaper left in the rain for three days.
On the other hand, I had been training in martial arts for nearly a decade by that point and spent two hours after work every day keeping, and building those skills. Putting these two facts together results in a fairly obvious power dynamic that didn’t favor him… and he knew it.
By all accounts, he went to Okinawa afraid of what I might do to him while we were there. This was not aided by the fact that I constantly had my fellow Marines telling me that I should pound him into a greasy smear in the mud, that he deserved it, and that he specifically deserved it from me. Several, in fact, offered to do it on my behalf, thinking that I was afraid of reprisals, especially since he was one rank higher than I was… at least for the first half of the deployment. In fact, my own squad leader went so far as to specifically order me to ‘go beat him up.
I’ll take the hit for it.’
‘Sergeant, you don’t want to give that order.’
‘Yeah, I do! Why not?’
‘Because… if I let that part of me out… I won’t stop, and you won’t be able to stop me.’
To the Marines that offered to go after him for me, I asked them not to, assuring them that I was handling it in my own way.
You see… the boy was petrified of me. He knew that he’d done me wrong, and he knew that should a reckoning come, it would be on my terms, and he’d be helpless to stop whatever was to come. In fact, he was so scared of me, that one day when he did still outrank me, he happened to be having a conversation with our Battalion Commander when he saw me approaching. Now, I wasn’t going to be disrespectful to the Lt. Col. by any possible stretch… but I certainly wasn’t stepping off the sidewalk for Judas, so I simply walked straight… and he stepped – near jumped – off the sidewalk to get out of my way.
The look on the B.C.’s face, having watched a Corporal step aside for a Lance Corporal is one I will treasure for the rest of my days.
Don’t misunderstand: I was utterly professional when it came to work. Whenever I was required to interact with him in a training exercise, or if we were standing watch at the same time, I would interact in strictly professional terms and vocabulary, and ONLY on situations and subjects that were necessary. In all other ways, I regarded him much as you might regard an ant racing across a sidewalk.
The day I was promoted showed a marked increase in his fear, as he probably believed that the disparity in rank was the only thing keeping his teeth in his head, and he somehow seemed to keep an even lower profile from me than before.
All of this was going exactly according to my plan. You see, I’m more than intelligent enough to realize that a physical altercation may be temporarily satisfying, but it comes with consequences; not the LEAST of which being that to indulge in such would be to go against every lesson my martial arts instructor taught me regarding proper conduct and use of martial arts skills.
Furthermore, Gentle Reader, keeping the lad in constant fear for SIX MONTHS was far more delicious and rewarding to me than any beat down could ever be.
This all culminated in a short encounter that I will never forget. After returning to the States, I began preparing to transfer to Twenty-Nine Palms to train to become a Computer Repairman – didn’t take me long to realize that dodging bullets for a living, ain’t much of one – and had turned in all my field gear. Then the new B.C. decided that he wanted to take the battalion out for a 12-mile hike. Someone realized that I could stand barracks duty, freeing up the guy that had been scheduled to go hike… because those in charge in the Infantry are jerks. Fast forward to the end of the hike, and I see Old Spineless approaching the Duty Hut. Now, I can not, to this day, explain how I knew it, but something in his approach told me that he was coming to discuss something with whoever was on duty.
I could barely see his face, as he was hunched over (more than usual) with exhaustion from the march… but somehow I just… knew. He turned the corner of the doorway, raised his head… then his eyes swelled wide open, and without missing a beat, he took two steps in place to turn and continue down the hallway, as if he hadn’t stopped at the Duty Hut at all.
At first, my reaction was ‘Did that REALLY just happen?’ Then I realized that I was about to let a truly golden opportunity pass me by… and I started laughing. Loudly. From the gut.
I wanted my laughter following him down that hallway. I wanted him to KNOW that what he did hadn’t gone unnoticed, and that, by laughing, I was laughing AT him for his cowardice.
That was the final encounter I ever had with him. From there, I went on to be a reasonably successful I.T. professional, eventually met my beautiful wife, and have a lovely home, and two amazing daughters.
The best revenge I ever took was to not do anything overtly against who wronged me, instead choosing to live well.”
31. Soak Our Shoes? We'll Add A Little Extra Something To Your Shampoo Bottle
“5 weeks ago, my class went on a school trip to Geneva, Switzerland. We stayed at this okay-looking youth hostel, on the 6th floor – which we shared with a class from Germany. A class that found it hilarious to hide our shoes, all around the building, at night (we placed our shoes out in the hallway instead of inside our room). The first morning, it wasn’t too bad. We had heard them coming back to the hostel totally wasted the previous night, and assumed their supervisor would refrain them from going out drinking again, leaving it safe to place our shoes back in the hallway. We were mistaken.
The next morning, it was pouring down. And our shoes were missing, yet again. After a quick search, we found the ones hidden at the most obvious of places, I.E in trash cans, on top of lockers, etc. But we were still missing about half of our shoes.
Where had they hidden the rest?
It was then we saw it. Dripping, soaking shoes, hanging out from the window, tied to the railings by the shoelaces. Screw off.
Naturally, we were angry. None of us had brought more than one pair of shoes, and we were going to be walking around in the city that day. The thought of splashing around was not very appealing. The Germans would have to pay for this.
It was my friend who knew what to do in situations like this. The Germans had left a shampoo bottle in the shower so that they could all easily share it, and my friend knew this. So without thinking, he started unzipping his pants as he headed straight over there, found the shampoo bottle, opened it, and emptied his morning bladder into it.
The following mornings, the shampoo bottle was still in the shower, laying in different positions. Thanks to Head and Shoulders lemongrass, the Germans didn’t realize they were washing their hair in pee.”
30. Won't Apologize For Stealing My Spot? I'll Make It Impossible For You To Leave
“This was back in the ’80s and I was going to pay a utility bill. As I pulled up to back into a parallel parking space along the curb a car nosed in behind me. So I just got beat out of a space but in B.C., if I now back into him it is actually his fault. So while I am thinking whether I should make believe I didn’t see him and use my checker plate bumper on this grill or not, the guy in the pick-up in front of the space was watching and pulls up enough for me to back in.
Now once I get into the space I back up as far as I can as to not block the good Samaritan in front of me and leave as little room as possible for the jerk behind me. Thanking the guy in front I head for the store to pay my utility bills while Mr.
Jerk’s partner or wife exits the car and heads to another store up the street. After paying the bills I walk back to my truck, but stop at Jerk’s car window and ask if he didn’t notice that I was backing into the space that he took. He evidently does not want to discuss it and tells me to screw off. Rather than argue I just say, ‘Screw off? Okay sure I’ll Screw off.’
There happens to be a fast-food restaurant right there and it is conveniently right around lunchtime. So having sized up the situation with him having only inches in front and in back of his vehicle I decide it’s a good time for lunch. I grab myself some lunch and a seat near the front window, just in time to see his significant other return to the vehicle. Now we wait for showtime! As he starts to try and extricate himself from the parking space and make as little as possible progress the argument starts. The view is great, but I really wish I could hear as well because they both seem to be getting angrier as things go on. Finally, the female who is now quite enraged gets out while screaming through the open door with him screaming back. She storms off to where I don’t know, but opposite from whence she came. So Mr. Jerk gives it another valiant try for about ten more minutes before finally giving up and leaving in the same direction as his female counterpart.
Oh well, the show’s over I guess so I walk out to my pickup and drive off wishing I had heard the conversation and had been able to share the experience with someone.”
29. Kick Me Out Of The Band? Lucky For You I Know The Perfect Replacement
“20 odd years ago. High school. I had not long bought a guitar and was starting a band with some people I was friendly with. I wasn’t any good yet but was having fun. A guy from the band posted on a local band’s forum that I sucked and wasn’t going to be their guitarist for long. I replied as an older guy who was interested in replacing me. I arranged to meet him somewhere and nobody ever turned up. No one really had phones then. He waited in some car park for a few hours and, I heard, later on, was really angry about it. It was so petty but so worth it.”
Another User Comments:
“I once got kicked out of a punk band (vocals) for being ‘too aggressive’. They decided to go 3 man band, no true lead vocalist, and made this folksy hippy, wannabe pop-punk garbage instead. I used to promote concerts and raves, and we put them on the bill at one of my events just so all my friends and I could lead the crowd in booing them off stage.
They broke up the next week lol.” SixxTheSandman
Another User Comments:
“I got kicked out of a high school band for not being good enough to do all the solos. Now I was the best in the band along with the drummer who was very good. The bass player was just there to be in the band and the other guitarist/singer could play well enough but had a poor voice. So they expected me to play all this stuff they couldn’t play. Like Metallica guitar solos, which are super fast. I did my best but they kicked me out.
25 years later and I’m the only one able to make money with music. The bassist stopped playing after high school. The drummer, while still excellent, never practices or plays and the singer can just kind of strum some chords and that’s it.
It feels good every time they see my skills cause I know deep down they’re jealous they’re not doing what I’m doing. Not trying to be conceited btw. But it’s true that living well is the best revenge.” Eliju
28. Little Sister Quietly Gets Revenge On Big Brother
“My older brother was a bit of a jerk to me growing up. Always beating me up and stealing the remote control when it was my turn to watch tv. He even shot me with his bb gun (in my upper thigh but that stung so bad)! So after years of abuse, I realized I couldn’t beat him with my lack of physical strength. I was a scrawny bratty kid sister I had no chance of besting him in that department. So I decided that if I were to get him back for years of torture I would have to go ‘guerrilla warfare’ on his butt.
I scrubbed the toilet out with his toothbrush (even got up under the rim of the bowl) and then told him what I did as he was brushing his teeth. Yea he beat me up but boy it was worth it! This started me onto my path of ‘quiet revenge.’ I also mixed dawn dish soap in his apple juice for a year straight! The dude had serious bouts of explosive diarrhea. He had the runs so bad one day that our mom checked him out so he could come home and poop (he has a fear of pooping in public places). While running to get to the bathroom he hit the frame of the door and broke his knuckle.
Yeah, I eventually told him about the soap juice thing one night as we were drinking. He said he always attributed his aggressive attitude to mom’s bad cooking and congratulated me on my evil plan. I might add that even now, as adults, if I go to visit him in his house the jerk hides his toothbrush!!!”
27. I Got The Brightest Light Bulb To Annoy My Cranky Neighbor
“I had gotten along extremely well with this neighbor for years and then he started to get really weird such as yelling at random strangers walking past his house on the sidewalk to the point where one of my friends who lives across the street asked him what on earth was wrong with him.
I hold one annual BBQ every year – the neighbors are all invited (himself included) and have been doing this for years now. My parties never get out of control, there is nice food served and generally, most people are gone by around 11 pm (on a Saturday night). I was walking one of my friends out to her car and saw a police car parked in front of my house. I walked right up and asked if there was a problem and they said, no, we did receive a noise complaint but we can’t hear a thing so obviously this is untrue.
I invited them to come into the backyard so they could see for themselves and to have some food if they were hungry which they declined. I asked who had called and yes, it was the next-door neighbor and I was furious.
I knew he had been sleeping in his basement bedroom rather than the upstairs bedroom as one time he complained to me when I had mistakenly forgotten to turn off my basement bathroom light which was right across from the basement room he slept in, it bothered him. So, the next day I went out and got the strongest light bulb I could find but waited until the following Friday night to install it as it was a long weekend and I would be going out of town. I turned that sucker on and happily went out of town for the weekend. When I returned I found he had trespassed on my property and put a kid’s swimming pool against my window to block the light (why he didn’t get blinds for his own window is beyond me) which I promptly moved. Yes, this was very passive-aggressive behavior on my part and at that point, I wrote a little note and put it in his mailbox.
The next day we chatted, he apologized for calling the police on me and I apologized for the bright light bulb and all was well after. He had been a single guy the first few years but then met someone, got married, and the kids starting coming. He admitted being stressed out by the kids and that he was taking his stress out on me and others (also why he was sleeping in the basement bedroom). He and his wife ended up moving later that year to a larger house to accommodate their growing family and hopefully, the extra space has relieved his stress levels!”
26. Drop Me As A Candidate? I'll Get The Job On My Own
“I lived in Denver when I was applying for jobs at software companies in New Zealand. One recruiter showed a lot of interest in my resume and she was excited to submit me to a large software company in Auckland. After getting my hopes up for a week I stopped hearing from her. No replies to my emails when I started asking if an interview would be scheduled. No reply at all from this New Zealand recruiter.
Weeks after that I decided to take matters into my own hands. I called the NZ software company directly and asked to speak with HR. They put me right through!
My opening line to the HR lady was, ‘You are on an island with a limited amount of people who can do this job. You need me.’ I said it with enthusiasm and a little humor. That definitely got her attention and we talked for 45 minutes.
At the end of our conversation, she said to me, ‘I’m going to get you over here!’
4–6 weeks later I had a for sale sign in my front yard, everything I owned was sold, in storage, or being shipped to NZ. They hired me on as a Sr Consultant!
Now for the revenge… I bought a postcard with a great view of the city of Auckland and the bay. On the postcard, I wrote, ‘The view is great from here on the 9th floor of the _______ software company building.’ I wrote my name clearly at the bottom and mailed it to her office address a few blocks away.
I wondered from time to time over the year how long it took her to put it together that I had gone around her. And that she had missed out on what was probably a generous finder’s fee if she had presented me herself.
Before my year contract ended in NZ I came across her name somehow and called her up. She did remember me, so I took her to lunch and told her the details of how I landed the job on my own. We both had a good laugh over it. I learned she was a hard-working and great person. We even realized that we had stood right next to each other at a party the first month I lived in NZ (long story) but neither of us knew who the other person was at the time. Small world, right?
So I did get my revenge for her dropping me as a candidate, but in the end, I meant her no bad feelings. Just great memories for me anyway.”
Another User Comments:
“Something similar happened to me. I wanted to work for a bank. I saw an ad, made a call, turned out it was a recruiter. I went in, met with her, took the tests, and finally, she refused to send me to interview with the bank because I hadn’t worked for a bank before (though I had worked cash office for a major retailer, balancing 5 floors of sales for several years). Then she offered me her job at one of the recruiter locations. I refused (didn’t want to drive that far). I went home, looked up every bank in town, called each to ask for branch manager names, wrote cover letters for each. Hand-delivered resumes with cover letters, asking to speak with the branch manager at each. I received 4 job offers that day. I took the one the recruiter refused to send me to. She came through my drive-thru and asked how I got the job. I still smile about it to this day.” Barbara Holland
25. Work Out At 2 AM? I'll Make A Racket At 6 AM
“This was years ago when I was younger, and a bit more disagreeable.
I had an upstairs neighbor that did some sort of exercise routine when he came home at 2 am. Every night.
It was Tokyo. In Tokyo, you never confront a neighbor directly. You go through the landlord.
The landlord seemed like he expected this.
Since I worked early, and my neighbor was stomping the floor at 2 am, it was a bad situation.
But I realized, if he was dancing at 2 am, he must not get up until noon. One morning, I left the building at 6 am and rang his room on the way out.
I knew he could hear me. Sometimes, when he was particularly loud, I’d pound on the ceiling. He would stop making noise immediately. So I knew he heard me pounding.
One excuse my landlord gave me when I called to complain is that in a building, you don’t really know where sounds come from. Even though the guy was bouncing around on my ceiling, my landlord refused to believe it could be my upstairs neighbor.
Well, it goes both ways.
I started to hit the ceiling at 6 am as I was leaving for work. I figured if he ever complained, I could just say that you don’t know where the sound is coming from in a building like this.
He never complained.
My only concern is that he might not connect the ringing doorbell and the sudden loud noise under his apartment with his late-night dancing and calisthenics.
However, after a few doorbells and random punches to the ceiling, it got quiet.
He either moved out, or he learned his lesson. I always hoped he learned his lesson because I did not want to train a new neighbor.”
24. Ruin Our Night By Being A Jerk? I'll Ruin Yours By Stealing Your Wallet
“I was bar hopping with a group from a hostel my friend and I were staying at. Everyone was having a good time, except for this one rude guy from Holland, who kept trying to convince girls to sleep with him in the bathroom, picking fights with homeless people outside of the bars, and had gotten our group thrown out of the first bar for smashing glasses on the wall.
As he was talking to another guy, I noticed a bulge in his back pocket. So I told my roommate from Australia to go behind him and start dancing up against him to distract him as I yanked his wallet out from his back pocket and shoved it down my shirt. It was a success and he never noticed his wallet was gone until we went to the next bar. He was so furious he went back to the other bar to look for it and we continued to have a great night.
I decided to hold onto his wallet till the end of the next day, just to make him sweat a little because it had all his money, cards, Holland Drivers License, etc. I came back to the hostel at the end of the day and in the common room, I found the Holland jerk on the phone looking very stressed out, and I thought to myself, that should do it. So I went to the front desk and told them I found this wallet on the floor. Later that night he came into the hostel bar like he won the lotto, and bought everyone drinks, including me and my friends. Funny how that turned out.”
23. Rub It In That You Won't Tip Me? I'll Egg Your House
“Years ago I delivered pizzas. We made our money on tips, not the measly hourly wage. I took a delivery to a townhome with 4 or 5 people in there. Parked the car, brought the pizza to the door, they paid, and no tip.
Ok, well, that happens sometimes. So I headed back to my car, walking down the sidewalk. When I got to the end of the sidewalk and almost to the car, they opened the door again and yelled ‘Oh, we forgot to give you something.’ So, happily, I turned around and walked toward the door, and right when I got up there, they slammed the door in my face. Now I saw them all standing in the front window, pointing at me and howling laughing – just having an outright hoot at my expense.
At that moment, I thought to myself, you jerks are gonna pay for that. So, I finished out my shift (I closed that night), went straight to the grocery store, bought some drinks and an 18 pack of eggs. About 1 am I went by the house and parked my car down the street a bit. I first placed 6 eggs under the doormat. Then I sat back and pelted the house with the rest of them, sometimes throwing 2 at a time. Hope you enjoyed your little laugh time suckas! Have fun cleaning that up tomorrow! Still laughing…”
22. Steal My Seat? I'll Hog The Photocopy Machine
“We have a small staff room for teachers to work, space is at a premium. I was sitting down at the start of my free period, got up, and was gone for 5 seconds. When I got back someone had taken my seat. My bag was there, my phone was there, people had seen me sitting there so they could have told the person who took it.
They thought it was hilarious, so I photocopied 200 thick workbooks for kids (that I didn’t need), ensuring none of them could use the photocopier for at least 2 hours.
I will use the booklets at some point, they won’t be wasted, but I definitely did not need them right then.”
21. I Convinced My Ex That A Close Family Member Betrayed Him
“My ex broke up with me in a despicable way. I’ll spare you the details, but in short, he left me unexpectedly after asking me to marry him, while we were leaving together. I later discovered he had a parallel relationship with somebody else, and that he had been cheating on me (us?!) multiple times.
So I took my revenge. Before knowing for sure he had a parallel relationship, I just had a feeling. I don’t know why, but something didn’t add up. Maybe it was just my own way to hurt myself even more or to cope with the loss better, but I just knew inside of me he had somebody else.
So I texted him. I told him that I had asked him if he had another girl not because I was suspicious, but because I knew as a fact. I told him that this made me even more disgusted by him than I already was, considering the way he dumped me.
I told him that I had asked him because I hoped he would have the decency to at least confess it, instead of lying again and again. At this point, this doesn’t sound like revenge at all. It’s what comes next that I consider as revenge.
He allowed his family to come in between us a lot. He never had many close friends, just many friends, but not close. The only close ‘friends’ he had were members of his family. One member of his family, in particular, hated me, and I never understood why. My ex was extremely attached to these members of his family, in an unhealthy way. So I went on and told him that if I knew that he had a side chick as a certainty, it was because somebody ‘very close to him’ had told me. I told him to watch out for the people who are the closest to him because somebody had betrayed him.
I knew as a fact he believed me because I am a good girl. I never lie. I never say anything to hurt others or just to be mean. I saw him get online and spend a good 3 minutes online reading my message. I could imagine him going wild trying to understand who betrayed him. I imagined him not being that talkative about his feelings already feeling totally betrayed. Like he couldn’t rely on anybody. I know he didn’t think a friend told me. I know he thought of somebody from his family.
I felt really bad afterward. I felt like trash, I felt like I was mean and I shouldn’t have done this to him. But after a while, the guilt went away. Now I’m glad I did something small to make myself feel better for a while. He has done me so wrong that this was the least he deserved from me.”
20. Humiliate Me For My Bad English? I'll Impress Everyone With My Diverse Language Skills
“I had just arrived at the American University in which I was supposed to spend a few years. I was invited to a party, just to get familiar with the environment. We were all post-docs and graduate students. I was among the youngest. The center of attention was a Hungarian gentleman, a post-doc in mathematics, who was a few years older than me. He was elegant and with a good presence, spoke excellent English, and had a bunch of admirers, especially of the female kind.
Almost immediately, as a ‘conversation piece,’ he began to make fun of my bad English, underlining the mistakes I made in every sentence, and elegantly mimicking my pronunciation. His admirers were ecstatic. After the game had lasted enough, I was utterly humiliated, and I retired into a corner to munch on peanuts. I did not dare to speak anymore. The Hungarian still made some general remarks in which, for my benefit, he had moved the focus on Italy in general, repeating a series of well-known clichés in a humorous key, and finally changed the subject.
Here one of the admirers told him: ‘I do not know the Hungarian language, but I have heard that it is really beautiful.’ The Hungarian was very proud of his language, like all those whose mother tongue is hardly studied outside of their country. He explained with a pinch of pompousness that, besides being an interesting language, very different from English, Hungarian was a clear sounding and harmonious language, and so on and on. The adoring girl insisted, ‘Can you give us an idea of how it sounds? For example, could you tell us some verses of a poem?’
The Hungarian was only too happy to please her and began: ‘Még nyílnak a völgyben a kerti virágok, …’ It so happened that when I was fifteen my interest in languages pushed me to borrow a Hungarian grammar and to copy it from cover to cover in my best writing, in a notebook, which is still in my possession.
There was also a small anthology of poems, and I had learned the incipits of some of them, no more than two or three verses for each poem. Of course, there was also the poetry quoted from my persecutor, as it is one of the best-known poems of Hungarian literature.
From my corner, I timidly said, with my bad English: ‘I think I know the poem: it is ‘Szeptember vegen,’ the end of September. And the next line must be ‘Még zöldel a nyárfa az ablak előtt’ … It seems to me that the author is Kisfaludy … ‘ I knew that the author was Petőfi, and not Kisfaludy, but my answer contained a second message: it meant that I knew a little of Hungarian literature, as Kisfaludy is less known than Petőfi. Now I was curious to see how the story would end: I almost felt like I was at the theater and not really involved in the drama.
The Hungarian was stunned as if he had been struck by lightning. He looked at me with the expression of one who would have preferred a punch in the face. Then he nodded his head and said, in a serious and almost sad tone: ‘It’s not from Kisfaludy, it’s from Petőfi … But that’s alright.’ He, who had been leading the conversation until then, remained silent for a short time, to the amazement of those present.
Then he kindly turned to me: ‘May I ask how did you come to learn that poem?’ I explained. I had no Hungarian relatives, I had never been to Hungary. He appeared to be strongly moved. Then he pulled himself together, and said to the bystanders, in his gentlemanly way: ‘You see, all of us Europeans love our common culture, so vast and so diverse. ‘
From that night we were friends for the whole year we were together in that University. He gave me the impression that he did not know what to do to show me his friendship.
By now I no longer know a word or a verse of a poem in Hungarian, but, evidently, it was not to learn Hungarian that I had copied that grammar. Still, I always thought that, after all, it had been worth it.”
19. Don't Think You Deserve Special Treatment Just Because You're A Pilot
“As an airline employee, I get standby seats on any flight the airline operates.
One night after a long day of trying to get out of Vancouver, I finally got one of the last seats – redeye flight, back row, aisle, next to the lavatory. Relieved just to be getting a seat, I board the plane, put my jacket under the seat, and hit the bathroom before takeoff.
When I get out, there’s someone in my seat. A fellow employee, just off duty and heading home in his pilot’s uniform.
‘This is my seat,’ I tell him.
‘Don’t worry, we’ll find somewhere for you,’ he smirks back – the middle seat next to him appears to be the last seat for the 5-hour flight home.
I climb over him and sit in the middle seat and seethe for about 4 minutes. Long enough for him to fall asleep. I elbow him and ask him to get out of the way so I can get out again.
I go and find a stewardess and fill her in on Captain Jerk. She rolls her eyes in sympathy and says she’ll find me something. Turns out there’s an aisle seat left, one row up from Captain Jerk and just to his right. She seats me and asks me what I’m drinking. I tell her. I then get free drinks for the duration of the flight.
On one of the trips up the aisle, the stewardess accidentally bashes Captain Jerk with her galley cart, right in the jerk’s kneecap that he was hanging in the aisle as he slept in my seat. He awoke with a howl and held his knee like Peter Griffin as I sipped my ninth drink.
The flight landed at around 7 am local time. I stood up, walked over to Captain Jerk, leaned over him, and retrieved my jacket from under his seat while holding eye contact, before leaving the plane and heading home. I hate pilots.”
18. I Ruined His Company And His Relationship
“I was working at a startup company in the Silly Con Valley. Yes, so many startups back then were just silly cons, in my humble opinion. During the dot com boom, it was very difficult to find good people to hire and even more difficult to retain them since there were a lot of very well-funded startups throwing tons of stock options at potential employees. In my first six months on the job, I filled all 40 open positions in my department, which was amazing when the labor market was so tight. Over the year that followed, my department’s attrition rate was zero. Not a single person left, despite the tempting outside offers, because I treated them with respect, made sure they were constantly enrolled in training courses to make them even better at their jobs, only constructively criticized people in private, and made a point of recognizing everyone’s accomplishments very publicly.
My department was fiercely loyal to me and to the company and we shone brightly. Another department manager said it was well known throughout the company that my department was ‘the shining gem at the heart of the company.’ Not bragging here, but the point is that my performance and the performance of my team were outstanding, which will be important in the next paragraph. Okay, maybe bragging a little, but we really did kick butt and there was no excuse for what the CEO did to me/us.
The company was run by a CEO who had no people skills and he tended to hire people into his inner circle who were narcissistic sociopaths, like him. One of these lovely and charming miscreants eyed my department with envy and immediately after being hired, began to challenge me and attempt to embarrass me or insult me publicly, much to the delight of the CEO, who was uncomfortable with someone on his team managing differently than he did (treating people with respect, versus ruling through threats and intimidation) and being so successful.
I think it also made him uncomfortable that although my department was very loyal to the company, they were even more loyal to me. So the CEO egged on this miscreant; let’s call him ‘Michael’ (obviously not his real name).
Shortly before the company was set to IPO and my shares were likely to be valued at $1.8M, the CEO announced a reorganization which put Michael as my boss, between me and the CEO. It was an absurd move, the sole purpose of which was to make my life awful. I think the CEO was convinced that I’d have no choice but to stick around and be tortured if I wanted those stock options to be worth anything, but happiness is much more important to me than money, so I quit right on the spot. Everyone was shocked.
My team frantically begged me to stay so they wouldn’t have to deal with Michael, but I explained to them that whether I stayed or not, they were going to have to deal with Michael if they stayed at the company.
Within a month, over half of the 40 people on my team defected to our largest competitor, whose IPO actually did make some folks rich. As for our company, after having lost so many good people and under the brilliant leadership of Michael and the CEO, our IPO was canceled and the company died a long, slow death.
If that were the revenge part, that would be a boring story. Maybe it is anyway. But here’s where it gets kind of fun. Michael was a womanizer. A married womanizer. I knew a woman whose best friend started seeing him, without her realizing who the guy really was. So I asked to speak with her. I asked her, ‘What did Michael tell you his marital status is?’ She said, ‘He told me he’s divorced.’ I corrected that notion, ‘Nope, he’s separated.’ Next, I asked, ‘How many children did Michael tell you he has?’ She said, ‘Michael doesn’t have any children.’ I corrected her again, ‘Nope, he’s got six kids.’ Finally, I said, ‘How old did Michael tell you he is?’ Aghast at what she’d heard already, she replied, ‘Michael told me he’s 40.’ I replied, ‘Nope, he’s 50.’ Then I told her what he’d done to me and to others at the company.
Well, my remaining spies in the company told me that Michael was moping around the office, looking like he was ready to cry for weeks after that incident. So I asked them why he was so forlorn? ‘Because this smart, kind, beautiful woman that he wanted to marry broke off their relationship without explanation.’ Michael had no idea that anyone had spoken to his partner and was truly baffled that she just ghosted him after that.
Now here’s the even more fun part. In a few weeks, that startup company is holding a 20-year reunion, and guess who’s going to be there? Yep, Michael. I’m planning on waiting until he’s holding court in front of a lot of people, and I’m going to walk right up to him, interrupt him (as he loved to do to me), and let him know that it was me who told her the truth about him. I cannot wait to see the look on his face. It’s going to be hard to contain my glee.
Kind of hoping he takes a swing at me. I’d love for him to wake up in jail…”
17. Bring Me Down When I'm At My Worst? You Don't Get To See Me At My Best
“In middle school, I thought I had this friend who was truly a friend. Obviously, he turned out not to be. For the sake of attention and to be considered the class clown, he picked on me. At first, it was a shock as we were friends, but I soon became almost a daily target. In front of the class, he would speak of how ugly I was, my speech impairment (lisp), and comment on my body. Ya, ouch. I was only 14 and I had a guy comment about how my body should and shouldn’t look. Absolutely traumatizing. Once I told him to shut up in front of everyone and called him fat, ya go me, 14-year-old me knew best. He replied saying at least I don’t have a mustache like you. That mustache was just hyperpigmentation that I had developed out of the blue and that too on my upper lip.
It was a low blow as he latched onto my newest insecurity. What’s worse was that I knew then I was ugly and I believed it as he confirmed it constantly.
Fast forward to the beginning of college, I get a message from this guy. I hadn’t spoken to him since 8th grade and here he is, sliding into my DMs. He immediately spoke of how much I have changed and how pretty I look in my pictures. I knew where this was heading and correctly, he asked for pictures of me. Yeah, a big fat no loser. He asked what was the problem in sending pictures and I said I know what you were talking about so no. It was as if he revered himself as some sort of God and thought I would pay heed to his words and submit. Honestly, what was he on? Anyway, I told him off and again he asked for it, that too with why won’t you. Foolish right? I told him a no is a no but he didn’t understand from that. Knowing that I still had to speak to him in his own language, (I mean I spent like 5 years rehearsing a comeback in 8th grade), I stated that I wasn’t interested in him and that he wasn’t my type at all. I have standards and self-respect for myself.
Yep, your girl got him.”
16. Stole My Game As A Kid? I Won't Offer You The Job
“When I was a kid, my favorite NES game, Super Sprint, disappeared when I brought it to a friend’s house to play with him. I found out that he stole it and it ended our friendship.
15 years later I was 24 years old and responsible for hiring someone for a position within my web development company. I post the job on Monster.com and get hundreds of resumes and I commit about 10 seconds to each one before sorting them into piles of ‘maybes’ and ‘no’. I find someone with the same name as the childhood friend, and he isn’t totally qualified for the job but I bring him in for an interview anyway just to find out if it was him.
It was him. Like I mentioned, he wasn’t qualified for the position but he awkwardly tried to play off our friendship to get the job. I told him I would contact him if we were interested but we weren’t so I didn’t. This was in the early 2000s.
This is by far the pettiest thing I’ve ever done. I loved that game, you jerk!”
15. Park Right In Front Of My Driveway? I'll Air Out Your Tires
“I was living on a typical suburban street and always parked in my driveway, but parking was allowed along the curb. I had a friend who, when he visited, would always park blocking the driveway, even though there was always plenty of parking along the curb right next to my driveway. Note that he didn’t pull into the driveway, he would park in the street, but in front of the driveway blocking it.
Any time I wanted to drive anywhere while he was there, I would have to ask him to move his car and wait for him to pull up along the curb. This was really annoying and I had asked him several times not to do it, but he always parked in front of the driveway.
Finally, one day I had to run to the store to get something and, of course, his car was blocking the driveway. He knew I was going to a convenience store and would be right back, but when I returned, rather than leave his car the ten feet he had to move it, he had moved his car back, blocking the driveway, That was it!
I had one of those tire valve caps with a valve stem wrench on the top. I slightly unscrewed all four valve stems so that I could barely hear a hissss, then I went into the house and handed him the valve stem wrench. I told him what I had done and that he’d better tighten those valves quickly, ‘…and while you’re at it move your car out of my driveway!’
At first, he thought I was kidding, but he soon figured out that I wasn’t kidding and he moved his car. He never blocked my driveway again when he came to visit.”
14. Be Rude To Me? I'll Lay On The Southern Charm
“I grew up in the state of Texas and have a very thick drawl as a result. I moved to Minnesota and got a job as a cashier at a gas station. I had previously worked in Texas as a gas station cashier. Texas has a strict law about selling packs of smokes to minors in that the cashier can be fined, up to $1000. Not to mention, most employers will fire the cashier outright. In the area of Texas I used to live in, the local law enforcement would conduct ‘sting operations’ where they would send in a minor to buy a pack of smokes, and then fine the cashier if she/he sold the kid those products. So, having come from this background, I was working in Minnesota. I also discovered that most people in Minnesota could not understand my drawl, including my boss. This is relevant to the story.
In bops this very young-looking woman and asks for a pack of smokes. I, of course, ask for her ID to verify that she is over 18. She goes off on me, whining about how she’s ‘in here every day and every day she gets carded for smokes.’ I ignore that part, it happens too often to get upset about. Then she starts in on how us ‘stupid cashiers should know her by now’. This was irritating, naturally. I also detected that she too had a Southern accent.
This is the point I lean over the counter, put on my thickest drawl, lay on the Southern charm, and say ‘Well, honey, you have to understand that we get over 500 customers a day in here. Us ‘stupid cashiers’ can’t possibly remember all of ya’ll birthdays. Plus, you do know that we can be fined and fired for selling packs of smokes to minors? I understand ya’ll are short-tempered because you haven’t had your fix but there’s no need to be nasty with me. Now; if ya’ll want ya smokes, get your ID out and have it ready, seeing as you are asked so often.’
She sheepishly pulled out her ID, which I checked. She was 6 months past her 18th birthday. Ok, sell her the pack. She paid cash and left without her change. (Was only a few pennies.) Boss standing right beside me asks what I said to her. I just shrugged and said ‘Just Southern girl-talk.’ From that day on, she had her ID ready before she got to the register. Never heard a word about it again.”
13. Purposely Make Me Clean A Messy Dining Room? I'll Use Your Toothbrushes To Scrub The Toilets
“I was in a group home when I was 16. We had chores, and this particular night, I was to clean the table/dining area. I typically sat in a certain seat, at the edge of the table, mainly because I am claustrophobic, but also because I was the oldest and had been there the longest. Anyway, this new girl sat in my seat and I kinda gruffly told her to move, as it was my spot. After I ate, I went downstairs to enjoy the rec room while they finished up. I came back about 15–20 minutes later to find the entire dining room covered in food. Table, floor, chairs… Apparently, the rest of the girls hadn’t liked how I talked to the new girl. They were all snickering, and I couldn’t believe the counselor on duty let them do it. I cleaned it all up without a word or reaction displayed.
The next day was my day to clean both bathrooms. I took all their toothbrushes and scrubbed the toilets and floors with them. Then I sat back and watched them all brush their teeth with their toothbrushes. I laughed and laughed. I did it a couple more times and then gleefully told them what I had done. I got demerits and some privileges revoked but it was worth it.”
12. Cut The Line To Get More Food? We'll Finish Serving Everyone Else First
“I work at a very popular BBQ restaurant in my town and last night I was at work during a particularly busy night. One woman who appeared to be in her 60s came in before the rush and ordered a plate of food. Well, she finished eating and by then we had a massive line going. The way our system works is you order and then right next to the order window we put your food out for you to pick up. Well, she came up to the order pick-up area and yelled into the kitchen at me (right next to the cashiers) that she wanted another plate of food. We politely told her she’d have to wait in line to which she said ‘I already ordered my food, I just want some more.’ Well, we don’t really have the authority to say much besides being busy with the hefty line forming behind her. She sits there until someone finishes ordering, slides in front of the next person, and proceeds to place her order. My co-worker on the line realizes what’s going on and makes her food, places it on the expo window while she sits there, 6 feet and 2 counters away, staring at us, waiting to put it out for her. Well, we tell the expo person not to put it out until the rest of the line is gone. So we make every single plate of food for the rest of the line and then give her hers once we are done. She was mad but the person working the line with me was the manager and there wasn’t much she could do about it.”
11. Won't Be A Good Neighbor And Help Me Out? I'll Make You Buy A New TV
“My neighbor is a jerk. We’ve been neighbors for almost 20 years. He needs help with his dogs, his garden, letting a real estate appraiser in, I’ve been there. Happy to help.
My gas stove had been turned off for 5.5 months. It’s cold and my house has no insulation. The average temperature in the house is 40 degrees in the morning and 51 degrees mid-day. I’m freezing and my old dogs are freezing.
I phoned the neighbor asking him to please turn on the gas and light the pilot. A two-minute job. Instead, he spent thirty minutes screaming at me. I hate being screamed at.
Last week neighbor left a voicemail. ‘Are you having problems with your TV? I thought I’d ask before I went out and spent a bunch of money.’ Well, my TV was turned off but I knew some of the neighbors were having TV problems. I texted that my TV was working fine.
That was the question, right?
About two hours later I saw him return from an electronics store with about $5,000 in new tv stuff.
It would have been a lot cheaper for him to turn on my oven. I paid another neighbor $20 to ignite/light it. What a selfish miserable barbarian he is. And the next time he asks me to do something for him, the answer will be forevermore NO.”
10. Don't Think You Can Lie About Sleeping Around And Get Away With It
“I dated a guy; he had cheated on me several times before we broke up for unrelated problems. We ended up staying friends as the breakup was mutual.
At the time, our friendship was still with benefits, but it was nothing more. As far as I knew, he was single, as was I.
Turns out he was not single. After learning this fact, I also discovered that he had slept with my best friend while we were together. My best friend did not know that we were together when she slept with him, he always wanted to keep our relationship a secret.
This made me angry, so angry. He not only lied to me throughout our relationship, but he was still lying to me, just so he could sleep with me.
There were two group chats that I could join, which I did. These group chats had all our mutual friends and some people who were only his friends.
I ended up telling everyone about his cheating, not only in our relationships but in previous ones. He had told me that he had cheated before and even gave me the details, so I shared them all.
Everyone ended up believing me, including his partner.
His partner ended up ending things with him, and he has been unable to find a new partner. Many of the people he had been flirting with are now questioning him and his motives.
Our friendship is over, but I do think he learned that cheating can have serious consequences.”
9. Be Rude To Me And My Friends? I'm Not Afraid To Toss An Insult Back
“The first day back to school in my last year, I walk into my early class trying to calm a couple of my nervous friends when I hear a familiar but unwelcome voice say, ‘Oh God…I have to have class with these dumb people for another year!?’
My friends are now staring at the floor, already writing this class off as bad, and the girl who said this has been bullying and complaining about everything all through high school. I’d always ignored her unless I had to give her a paper or something, and then I was still polite, but making any of my friends feel bad is intolerable.
‘Oh, geez..! I didn’t think it was possible for you to get uglier after last year!’ I look at her with mock surprise that she is there. She looks stunned and stays away from us that last year. Didn’t ever hear her mutter from across the room once.”
8. A Simple Prank War Leads To A Disastrous Wedding
“In my early 20s, we had a cottage at Crystal Beach in Canada just across the Peace Bridge from Buffalo NY. We rented a cottage, 6–8 of us girls each year for three years. Memorial Day through Labor Day. There were a number of cottages rented by gals and a number rented by guys. Fun! Fun!
One year we were next door to a guys’ cottage and they loved playing practical jokes on us.
My sister and I would drive to work in the morning and return back to Canada daily. But one day the car started stinking. Each day it smelled more and more and it had flies swarming all over it. We couldn’t figure it out. Until one day, checking the water we raised the hood. And what was there sitting on the manifold? Under the hood was a whole fish!! Baked on and stunk to high heaven!
How to top that one? Well, we baked a cake and made the chocolate frosting with a full box of x-lax. Took it over as a peace offering. They ate it all. Best revenge? That night was the wedding of one of their guys!”
7. Try To Con Your Way Out Of Paying Child Support? Your Lies Will Be Exposed
“My ex-husband was ordered to pay child support and pay me back child support separately since I proved in court that I borrowed money to take care of our children while he bought a sports car. My ex was determined to delay those payments as much as he could. The child support unit paid me for a month or so-then the money stopped. I would call constantly only to be told they couldn’t collect from an empty account. Well, isn’t it your job to investigate? They claimed they filed a complaint and did nothing. I never received documentation or confirmation. I asked for supervisors and got hung up. I was once told to shut up and stop complaining because there were women who never got a penny. I said my husband works for the city as a police officer and is easy to find and have his wages garnished. I went down in person and was told my case was being ‘processed’ but still got nothing in writing.
4 months later, I called the attorney and told him what happened. He wrote to the judge and sent it via registered mail. A month later, I received an apology from the courts. Another month later, the money came in. It never happened again. My attorney told me that the person who screwed me over at CSU knew my husband and told him to stop putting money in the bank while he made sure that he or his friend either placated me with lies or just acted rude or hung up on me. My attorney asked the judge to investigate as CSU was violating court-ordered support. She did look into it and found out about the scheme. The guys involved were fired and my ex was told that the child support money would be garnished directly from his paycheck because he knowingly took part in this scam-it was that or be charged with contempt of court.
I received the child support money on time until the judge retired and a new judge was put on the case. She reversed the decision, allowing him access to his checks and just depositing the required amount in his account to be forwarded to me. Plus she regularly chopped the support stating ‘too many ex-husbands give too many ex-wives too much money over nothing.’ She was positive I hustled HIM for money-despite the paperwork in front of her. He came to court in nice suits, and I hadn’t bought myself new clothes in 5 years. I showed medical bills he was supposed to pay as per the divorce orders-she said that part would be dropped. The judge was positive he was some poor guy taken by the horrible wife. Until our last court visit.
He was paying $50 a month and took me to court 3 months before our youngest son’s birthday. She ordered the support be terminated at the boy’s birthday-but that wasn’t good enough. He demanded she terminates it that day (3 months from that point or grand total of $150). They argued back and forth until she lost control and screamed at him. ‘Has he been an idiot this entire time and I didn’t see it?’ She asked me. ‘Yes, ma’am, but you’re still in luck. You weren’t married or divorced from him.’ I answered. She told us to have a nice life far away from her. I never got an apology from him or that judge. But I was glad it was over with.”
6. Throw Onions In My Hair? Enjoy These Ashy Pickles
“When I was in high school, I did not like pickles and would pick them off of my burgers when I had fast food.
One time, I went to McDonald’s with some friends and one of them said he would eat the pickles I didn’t want.
I had about 3 cheeseburgers and I gave him the pickles. He ate them but then decided to pick the onions off of his burger and toss them into my hair when I wasn’t looking.
He tried to pretend it wasn’t him, but I caught him.
I took the pickles out of my next burger and when he wasn’t looking, I dipped them in the ashtray (McDonald’s had smoking sections back then) and gave him the pickles with the clean side up.
He popped them into his mouth and as he chewed them, his face started to grimace and said ‘These pickles taste raunchy.’
I also moved my seat so my back couldn’t be turned to him.
That was a good laugh.”
5. I Found True Love And Rubbed It In My Ex's Face
“So I had a really good friend and she was deeply madly in love with her partner for about 3 years! I mean it was a serious relationship. I had seen the way that he had been treating her, I wouldn’t say it was the best. She was known by us as giving a lot in a relationship, so we called her The Giver.
We had warned her that he was acting weird and didn’t seem to be really deep in the whole thing. We had a lot of fights about it until we stopped because we were all tired of the same old story.
One day, she came to us crying. He had broken up with her saying that he was still in love with his ex and she couldn’t give anything more. (Funny how he came to that conclusion after 3 years of being in a relationship). Even though I wanted to scream I TOLD YOU, we all tried to calm her down but things got worse within days.
She wasn’t coming to hang out with us anymore, she tried to keep us away and every time we tried to approach her she would kick us out of her space.
Then after a month, she came back apologizing, we hugged tightly and everything was fine, at least in the beginning… After a week we were all partying and she kept saying that she didn’t even care about him anymore. Then, the second a guy asked for her number she started swearing and crying, we were all shocked when she even pushed that guy. He called her crazy and left. After that, she went back home all alone and she wouldn’t let us come back again. IT WAS LIKE LIVING A TEEN DRAMA! This whole situation kept going on for like a year, and we were trying to be there when she needed us but we were leaving her the space she needed.
After a lot of drama, tears, and pain she came back all recovered.
I mean she was a new person like nothing had ever happened. And she was good, she started going out again and after some failures and really funny bad outings, she found true love! George. He is really a nice guy and we all appreciate him.
Though karma is true as people say. After 3 years, her ex called her back while she was in love with George. ‘I want you back, I am done with my ex, I never really wanted her. I was being a jerk, and I know years have passed but I am still here and through that, I understand how much I want you, how wrong I was. Shall we meet? I really need to talk to you.’ He begged. She was like ‘I see. Sure let’s meet, I have forgiven everything.’
So that happened. They met.
Except for the fact, she went there with her new partner who by the way was also in on the plan. Her ex was shocked as she told him, ‘Let me introduce my partner George… you said you wanted to talk to me. I hope it’s not a problem that George came with me, we go everywhere together. As you understand it’s because he knows what he really wants and he is sure about me, he never doubts his feelings for me, he never needed to go through a phase to love me better. But tell me what did you want to talk to me about?’ He was still, couldn’t even talk and then here he goes saying ‘You know what I am happy for you. See you around.’ We couldn’t believe our sensitive giver was sooo strong now!
After a month while she was out with her partner she met him in a club with his new partner. They all said hi.
‘We should go to a movie all together,’ she said
‘Well maybe one day,’ her ex replied.
“Tomorrow is fine?’ George asked.
‘YES YES TOMORROW IS FINE!’ screamed her ex’s new partner.
Her ex sent a message to her before the night out. ‘We cannot go out together, I am still in love with you and she is not even my partner. I was trying to make you jealous but I can’t go on, just give me a chance.’
She called him back and started laughing, ‘You haven’t even changed, huh? Honey, I am really sorry for what you are going through but you are going to keep living this nightmare. I really love my man and I finally found what true love feels like. I am sorry and I hope the best for you.’ And she hung up.”
4. Continue To Be A Reckless Driver And I'll Make You Miss Your Exit
“One day I was driving to school with my brother and a friend in tow. (I was going about 7 over). Enter random jerk. This guy blows by me and ends up cutting me off. Then he proceeds to check his phone, whilst slowing down enough to match the speed of the car occupying the other half of the two-lane interstate we are currently driving down. He remains like this until the other guy feels bad for me and slows down enough to let me by. I finally pass the jerk about a mile and a half before my exit. I can see our exit now, and being the good driver that I am, I check my mirrors and switch lanes. Whilst doing this I notice the same guy finally decided to get off his phone and drive like a maniac again. The man catches up and is moving into position to cut off the car behind me in order to get to the exit we have now arrived at.
(Going a brisk 70 miles an hour) I keep my eye on him in my rearview (because there is no one ahead of me and I drive the road every day) and wait for him to start committing to the lane change. Then I exact my revenge by pushing my breaks hard enough for him to have to swerve back into the lane he was occupying and thereby bypassing the exit he was supposed to take. The man makes eye contact with me as I start slowing down on my exit ramp and as I relish the look of disgust and shock on his face, he flips me the bird. All I did in return was blow him a kiss, and wave goodbye.
(The time this occurred was about 5 till so assuming he was working normal hours, I made him late for his job. Because the next exit is a full 5 miles down the road.)”
3. Steal My Air Freshener? I'll Make Your Bathroom Smell Overwhelmingly Fresh
“In the office building I work in there is a women’s room with 2 stalls for the 20 women on my floor and a men’s room with a urinal and 1 stall for the 4 men on my floor.
Neither bathroom has ventilation, no air movement whatsoever.
There is an auto air freshener that takes aerosol cans but in the years I’ve worked here nobody has ever put one in the men’s room.
My former officemate retired at the end of the year and, unbeknownst to me, had been putting a new can in the women’s room every month or so which she had purchased with her own money.
When she retired she still had several cans with no use for so she gave some to me and some to one of the women on our floor.
I messed around with the dispenser and set it to spray at the longest interval it had a setting for.
It would last several months that way. The women apparently used the most frequent and would have to replace them every month.
The men’s ran out at the end of May and I had 1 can left. I changed it out Friday morning and one of the women complained that theirs had run out a long time ago and nobody replaced it. I told her that Kelly retired and she used to buy them, so if they ran out she could buy them herself.
Nope, she said since there are more women that they should get mine. I told her that it was not the property of our employer so I would do what I wished with my can.
When I was leaving Friday night I saw that it was stolen. As I was last to leave I checked the women’s room and it was there. I was going to take it back but when I opened the dispenser I noticed she installed it wrong and it would not be spraying anything at all.
So I ‘fixed’ it by putting it in incorrectly the opposite way, so that it would just continuously dispense instead of a spray every 15 minutes.
This morning after the 3 day weekend the bathroom was unusable for a few hours because there is no ventilation… they had to prop the door open and the whole floor smells like fresh linen today.”
2. Park In A Reserved Space? Your Car Is About To Be The Center Of Attention
“Ok, this all happened more than 30 years ago, so it was before cars had steering wheel locks and most people then were a bit more respectful of others …and were expected to be.
I worked at the local public library, and it had reserved parking for senior employees behind the building. The spots were clearly marked as reserved, and there was ample parking available nearby. Despite the signs, customers for nearby businesses would sometimes park in the library’s reserved spots or park so that the library’s employees were blocked in and couldn’t get out of their parking spots.
My boss at the time was a bit of a take-charge type, so rather than call the police to have the offending vehicles towed she employed some self-help. BTW, we’d first check with all of the employees and patrons in the library (it was a small library) before taking action to make sure we wouldn’t be inconveniencing any of our own people.
Anyway, my boss would have several of the able-bodied assistants put the offending car in neutral and push it into a low-traffic side street (most parked cars were left unlocked). We’d place the car so it blocked the street diagonally, put the transmission in park (or in gear if it was a manual transmission) and set the parking brake, take a stick and wedge it so the horn was honking, and then lock all the doors on the offending vehicle. My boss would then call the police and report the abandoned car.”
1. Litter Our Relationship With Double Standards? I'll Ruin Your Fantasy Football League Reputation
“Once upon a time, there was a young lady that we’ll call Casey. Casey had a lot of appreciable qualities, and was very witty, and had a good sense of humor. Unfortunately, Casey was also a bit insecure and managed her insecurities with dishonesty.
To tell this story the right way, I need to mention that it all started at my first computer programming job. With respect to college, I was a bit of a late bloomer and graduated with a Computer Science degree in my early 30s, at which time I was immediately hired by a modest little organization in Pulaski, Tennessee. Casey worked there as well, and rather quickly, we learned that we had a lot in common. We both loved football, though I was mostly interested in college football, whereas she was very passionate about both college and pro, as well as fantasy football. At any given time, she could tell you just about anything you wanted to know about NFL players, past and present, and had a remarkable understanding of the game in general, which is not what I’d call pervasive among her gender in our locale.
So yeah, we went out, had a lot of fun, and started seeing each other. The football part is quite relevant, but we need to put that on hold for now.
At work, we had this neat messenger application, useful for communicating with co-workers. Casey was outgoing and was messenger-friendly with all the guys she worked with. One day, out of the clear blue sky, she walked up and noticed that I was messaging a female co-worker. It did not go over well, at all. I immediately reminded her that she routinely messaged male co-workers and that it would be an unacceptable double standard to expect me not to do the same. In hindsight, I think the problem was pretty obvious. The lady I was messaging with didn’t have the few extra pounds that Casey had, and was more accomplished, and arguably a little prettier. Whatever the reason, it was a problem, and I wanted to do what I could to resolve it.
The at-work messenger issue eventually bled over into Yahoo Messenger, and unfortunately, things got ugly and equally petty. Frustrated, Casey finally made the decision that she would prefer to stop using messenger altogether if that’s what it took to keep me from using it. Sure, whatever, so we agreed that we wouldn’t use it, and ceased all messenger activity.
Almost as if on cue, within 3 days, it was brought to my attention that she was using it again. (Raise your hand if you’ve ever dated someone that thought the rules applied to you but not to them.) So, without so much as a conversation about it, I resumed using messenger and struck up a conversation with the aforementioned lady until I was sure that Casey was aware of it. That resulted in a rather fiery confrontation on her part, at which time I called her out on using it after we agreed not to.
Of course, she denied it but quickly backpedaled when I provided proof that I had been keeping it in my shirt pocket, metaphorically speaking.
Her next move was to try and restore the agreement to not use messenger (yes, I realize how this sounds), though I saw that one coming as well, and insisted that if we did, we’d exchange Yahoo login info, which would mean that we’d have access to each other’s account (and activity information), which would prevent her from being able to effectively lie about it. Surprisingly, that pretty much solved the problem for a while, at least with messenger-related double standards.
Over the next several months, the lying continued in many other areas, and to absolutely ridiculous proportions. She seemed convinced that a lie is just as good as the truth as long as her statements couldn’t be disproved, and literally operated that way on an ongoing basis.
On no particular day, or for any particular reason, I decided to log in to her Yahoo account, and as expected, she was again engaged in all the messenger activity that she wanted me to agree not to do.
I politely asked her what it was all about and if I had misunderstood our agreement. Her explanation was absolutely comical. ‘I gave my login info to everyone in my Yahoo pool league (billiards) because I’m the only administrator.’ Well, how about that. Her male co-workers were supposedly sending messages to her Yahoo messenger application, not knowing that they were actually communicating with people they didn’t even know from Casey’s Yahoo pool league. (I’ve heard some paper-thin ones before, but that takes the cake.) I said OK, smiled and nodded, and went on, business as usual, and into my shirt pocket that one also went.
You may recall the football part from earlier in the story. Well, here’s the relevance. For the benefit of those who may not be privy to the fantasy leagues, it’s actually a pretty big deal. It takes literally weeks and weeks of choosing players, managing your starters, analyzing performance, player trading, etc., so it is very, very involved, and your team’s results actually do depend on the real-world performance of NFL players.
Making it to the championship game in your fantasy league is not just big, it’s huge. One very important detail is that you choose which of your players will start, and you are required to select them prior to midnight before the next day’s game.
Well not all that long after the Yahoo Messenger episode, Casey’s fantasy football team landed in the championship game. As I mentioned, she was great at all-things football and had effectively worked her way up to first place in a fantasy football league of 20+ participants, all of which, other than her, were men. This was a great source of pride for Casey. To kick all the men’s butts at their own game? To her, that was something that money couldn’t buy. She was also very likely to win it all and was arrogant about it. For a solid week before the championship game, she pranced around the office as if she was the Moses of football.
Did I mention that this was… Yahoo Fantasy Football?
I don’t have a clue why I woke up at 11:45 pm that night, nor why it occurred to me to do it. Maybe it was all the expensive dates and dinners I paid for, all the Christmas and birthday gifts I bought for her two children, or maybe it was all the dirty jobs I did around her house. I can tell you for a fact that when someone works for a living and spends their money taking their significant other out every weekend, they don’t typically appreciate being lied to, especially over petty things like messenger conversations. So, I got out of bed, logged on to her Yahoo account, and benched her entire team. Afterward, I literally watched the seconds tick off until the clock struck midnight. The Cinderella championship story was now over, and in its place – a dark version of Pinocchio.
The next morning, well before the game even started, she called me, absolutely furious, accusing me of benching her team. How did I respond? Poetically, I lied. Further, I mentioned that not only did the 10 or more people in her online pool league have her login info, that they were also apparently messaging with the guys she works with (also in the fantasy football league) so it was probably one of them that was responsible. Of course, she knew that wasn’t what happened, because the pool league story she told me wasn’t true in the first place, and she knew I knew that.
Later that day, her Fantasy team suffered a humiliating defeat. Gone was the arrogant attitude, the pride, the bragging rights, and about $200 in prize money. Unfortunately, all I got for my time and effort was a story to tell, and I regret having ever been involved in any of it. But at least the hardest lesson landed in the lap of the liar.”