People Share Their Satisfying Stories Of Revenge

Ah, revenge. Some say it’s sweet, others say it’s best served cold and Confucious warns, “Before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves.” Everyone has something to say about it! Seeking revenge is pretty much as old as time. We’ve seen how it works since Shakespeare was alive and onstage; how dramatic characters on daytime soap operas get back at each other and how even modern-day Instagram clapbacks are a form of retaliation! Some revenge is forgivable, others not so much, and for all the ones in between, some become forgotten – like my friend who married the guy who broke into her second-story apartment and poured bleach all over her room and clothes as payback for who knows what. Revenge, as the infliction of pain or punishment towards someone who has done you wrong, comes in many, many shapes and sizes, and degrees of intensity (see #36 for a mighty spicy way of getting back at someone that requires mayonnaise to soothe the pain), as seen here today.

I’ve always been of the school of thought that a life well-lived is the best revenge, or if someone does something questionable or treats you badly, simply kill them with kindness.

These people in the following stories, however, took a hard left the other way. Some sought an act of more passive-aggressive revenge (like the lady bending over to leave her coins on the floor in #32) and others were a little more cunning (like the guy who thought the rude couple sitting beside him in the coffee shop needed to be taught a lesson in #2.) Each story is a bit of everything, but there’s one thing in common. The aggressor sure got what he/she deserved, sometimes ten-fold. Some are pure evil (who thought of doing this to a tampon in #6?!) and fewer times, just really petty.

Read on to live vicariously, absorbing the revenge you never got to live out!
40. He’s Immune To Poison Ivy, But His Bully Isn’t

“I’m immune to poison ivy, so I was always uprooting it in our yard (about a full acre). I’d left it on this concrete area behind our garage (because that’s where it was near when I pulled it out. Hey, I was/am lazy.) Anyway, I frequently walked down to a fishing pond across this canal in my neighborhood (this is in south Louisiana). I didn’t always have a functioning bike and the walk was only about a mile. A ‘big kid’, probably 2-3 years older than me, was a real jerk.

He’d do stuff like ride by me on his bike and act like he was gonna high-five me, but then slap my face and ride off, laughing.
Anyway, one day he did that, and I went back home, upset. I got my water gun and was gonna shoot him if he messed with me again. Then I saw the poison ivy and got an evil idea. In the bucket, it went with some water, stirred it all up good, then dumped that in my water gun. Went back to the pond. On the way back home, he came around messing with me again.

I hosed him down and he broke my gun, but man it was worth it. From what I hear he didn’t go back to school for almost two weeks.” Paranatural
39. Toddler Left Alone In Car Makes A Total Mess – Everywhere

“When my younger brother was about 3, my father had to look after him for the day. The plan was that he, after asking his boss, would take him into work for the day. It was office work, and he was friendly with his boss, so my mum assumed it was no big deal.

My father, however, didn’t want a toddler distracting him all day, so he left him in the car with the radio on and a carton of apple juice.

(This is Britain, so it wouldn’t overheat, but either way, it’s not right). At the end of the day, dad returned back to his car to drive home, expecting a sleeping toddler who wouldn’t tell his mother a thing.
Instead, upon his return, he found his son jumping up and down on the front seats to the radio on full blast, naked and laughing, slipping around and covered in poop. He had soiled himself, removed his nappy and his fecal matter EVERYWHERE. It was smeared all over the driver’s seat, the windscreen, the steering wheel, the navigation system, the driver’s window – even hand-printed on the ceiling.

Our dad didn’t even know that toddlers could produce such an icky mess. The only car seat that was completely untouched was his own.” TacoinaToaster

38. Manager Call Fraud Hotline When Customer Won’t Stop Running His Mouth

“One time when I worked in a small video store as an assistant manager, there was this one customer who was being a real dipstick to the point where I got fed up with his behavior and threw him out. He had been rude to every single other employee in the store, including our boss. He was just a mouthy harassing jerk (it would take way too long to go into the details).

Anyway, I saw him in a little strip mall nearby one time, and he was bragging to some guys about how he was cheating on his worker’s compensation. Then, he pulls out this wad of cash and waves it under their noses like a Japanese fan. ‘I got all this free money from lying about my injured hand!’ What a loser.

If you go into the blue pages of the phone book you’ll find this listing in all cap letters that says; WORKERS COMPENSATION FRAUD HOTLINE. Take a wild guess what video stores keep in their records? Full name, home address, and phone #.

Not only did I turn this guy in, but I was also able to provide great detail as to exactly how he was faking his injury as he explained it to his two friends.” Patches67
37. Teens Get Back At Store Owner Who Doesn’t Pay Them – ALL SUMMER

“I used to live in a very small town, like 250-300 people. We had no stores, gas stations etc. One day a local guy decided to open up a little store that sold the basics like groceries and rented movies. He hired a few of us high school kids to work the store and promised us $50 a week to be paid at the end of the summer.

We agreed and started working. We gave up summer stocking shelves, cleaning the bathroom, lawn care and whatever else. Well, the end of the summer comes around. It’s our last day of work, and he comes by with our paychecks. $50. For each of us. For the whole summer.
Needless to say, we weren’t too happy, but his words were ‘What the eff are you gonna do about it? Drop the key off at my house since you won’t need it anymore.’
We came up with a plan to pay this lowlife back. Before locking up the store for the last time, we left a window unlocked.

We dropped the key off at the house. Around midnight, we were back at the store. Grabbed as much as we could, cigarettes, money from the register, candy. Probably about $1000 worth of stuff, locked the window, then left through the emergency exit that had no alarm. There were also no cameras of any kind.
The next day there were cops there. He accused all of us of doing it but had no proof. He ended up having to shut down the store a few months later because the town heard how he didn’t pay us and stopped doing business there. I don’t feel bad.

He deserved it.” [deleted]
36. She Sprayed His Junk When She Caught Him Cheating

This is pretty brutal. Who knows what the full story is (after all, there are three sides to every story – his, hers and the truth…) but it’s fair to say, both of them acted out in this case. I can’t imagine either being comfortable and both are dishonest. Well, at least we know there’s another use for mayo now?
“My ex-girlfriend pepper-sprayed some guy’s genitals for cheating on her. Apparently, the only way he could cool it off was by sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise, in case anyone else’s junk is ignited by peppers in the future.” Kraken_Sig

35. He Personally Moved His Neighbour’s Car After Asking Him Not To Park There

“My dad used to live in an apartment building with assigned parking, as in every tenant had a designated space that only they were allowed to park in.

Well, my dad would regularly come home to find someone else parked in his spot. He had asked the guy politely several times not to park in his spot and had even talked to the landlords who had done nothing about it. One day, he got home to find the guy parked in his spot again and decided enough was enough.
My dad had always worked on cars, ever since he was thirteen. He had a jack in his trunk and used that to jack the guy’s car up off its rear tires. It was a rear wheel drive car which meant my dad now had control of the car.

Using the jack, he pulled the car across the lot and left it somewhat hidden behind a dumpster. Then he let the car down, put away his jack, parked in his spot and went up to his apartment.
Later that day, he got a knock on his door. It was a police officer with the inconsiderate neighbor behind him. The officer asked my dad what he had done with the neighbor’s car and my dad looked him right in the eye and said, ‘He parked in my spot and I’ve asked him several times not to do so, so I lifted his car up and set it over by the dumpster.’
Now, to give you an idea about my dad, he’s 6’5″ and back in the day was really well built.

He also has only one eye, and the fake one he’s got has always been too small, giving him a constant ‘madman’ look. When he told the officer that he’d lifted the car and moved it himself and even pointed out where the car was through his apartment window, the police officer’s eyes got as big as dinner plates. He turned to the neighbor and said. ‘Sir, I recommend you never park in this man’s spot again.’ Guy stopped parking in my dad’s spot after that. TheEggKing
34. She Chose The Higher Road Of Self-Improvement

“About 4 years ago, I found out my husband of ten years was messing around with a girl he went to high school with (it should be noted that they never dated because, according to him, she was dating multiple people at once and he wasn’t into that).

At this time, I was a full-time student and he was financially supporting us and our toddler. When I found out, I flipped, understandably. He called me a psycho and decided he wanted to leave me for her. So I quit school for a year, worked two jobs, paid for the divorce and supported our child by myself. I ended up supporting myself through school, graduating with honors, landing my dream job and generally kicking a** on my own. He, on the other hand, has been cheated on several times, lives in a crappy trailer park with his loose girlfriend and generally is a loser.

Technically not messed up revenge, just very very sweet.
(I now work for an amazing catering company and am a personal chef on the side. I love what I do, my kid is a rockstar and generally, I am doing better than I thought I would!) betteroffthanyou

33.  He Tinkled In His Brother’s Shoes

“My older brother (who was in high school and a foot and a half taller at the time) threw me into the ceiling and let me drop to the floor. So for the next year or so I would wait until he would leave the house, and go into his closet and pee in his shoes.

I didn’t tell him for around 20 years, but when I did he said, ‘You little b**tard, I could never figure out why my feet always smelt so bad.'” waxaholic
32. She Left Her Change On The Floor

“I was at the post office one day when an elderly lady in front of me asked for a single stamp.

Obviously considering this a waste of her time, the woman behind the counter makes a snorting noise, rips off a stamp and flicks it across the counter where it lands on the floor. She doesn’t apologize or offer the lady another stamp. The old lady considers for a second, picks up the stamp and leaves her 50 cent piece on the floor in its place.

She says a cheery, ‘Thank you!’ and walks out, and the woman behind the counter has to walk around to pick up the money.” User
31. She Tickled Her Bully Until She Fell And Broke Her Leg

“When I was seven, the Monica Lewinsky scandal happened, and my name happens to be Monica. You can imagine what a bunch of immature kids liked to call me. One girl, who was several years older than me, whom I never talked to before, kept picking on me and calling me Monica Lewinsky. I asked her to stop, and she didn’t. Keep in mind that this girl was pretty big compared to me.

One day, she was playing on this jungle gym in the shape of a fire engine and was trying to balance, so I took advantage of her vulnerability and started tickling her. When I noticed she didn’t like being tickled and was losing her balance, I continued to tickle, which was probably my innocent way of being violent. The girl eventually lost her balance, fell down, and broke her leg. When I saw her later on in a cast with crutches, she looked at me with this apologetic expression and never called me Monica Lewinsky again. She was afraid of me, a little seven-year-old girl.” ohappydagger
30. She Peed In Her Sister’s Shampoo And More

“My sister used to beat me up, steal my birthday money, call me names in front of friends and girls I liked.

When mom went shopping for Xmas, my sister would tell her to buy me these horrible clothes to make me look the part. Pretty much, she was just awful to me.  So every time I had to pee in the shower, I’d pee in her shampoo and body wash, all over her razor, body sponge thing – everything.”  emperor_friendzone

29. He Met And Started To Date The Girl His Ex Wants To Be

“I once dated a girl who I really liked, but she was always hot and cold to me, and when she was cold, she could really treat me badly. It took me way longer than it should have, but I finally manned up and dumped her.

She then tried to win me back and seduce my friends; basically, an immature reaction from an immature person.
So, a couple of weeks later, I meet an amazing girl at a concert, and we start dating. This new girl is awesome, cool, fun and sexy, but within a week of dating her, I realize something else about her. My mean ex had had a job the summer before, which had her basically spending the whole summer with a girl that she had developed a major complex about. Wherever the two went together, guys would always hit on this other girl and never hit on my snobby ex.

It got to the point, that my ex had developed this major anxiety-complex regarding this girl she worked with. By pure random chance, I had gone out and met that girl, and was now dating her.
The satisfaction I felt when I showed up at a party around a month after the breakup, and let mean ex see who I was with was immense. She had a total meltdown that included crying, screaming and ranting, before screaming at the guy she came with, ‘Take me home right now, we’re leaving!’

To which he replied, ‘Call a cab psycho, I’m not taking you anywhere.’ It’s the little moments in life that you have to cherish.” [deleted]

28. He Told His Friend The Truth About Santa Claus When They Were 6

Some kids sure know how to go for the proverbial jugular:

“My so-called ‘best friend’ in primary school stole my shiny Pokemon cards.

I was only 6 or so at the time, but that didn’t stop me from being a sadistic little first grader, and having older brothers, well, let’s just say I knew how things worked. Guess who found out the truth about Santa, the Tooth Fairy AND the Power Rangers all at once. Don’t mess with 6-year-old me.” rolloxan
27. She Tampered The Bag Of Skittles

Oh, the look om his face must have been priceless:

“My brother once stole my bag of Skittles and didn’t admit to it. So I bought a bag and opened it carefully so that I could reseal it. I took every skittle, except the green apple, out and replaced them with M&Ms.

The look on his face was priceless. For clarification, there were M&Ms AND green skittles in the bag. And he ate by the handful. So, no. It would not be delicious.” MajoraThief

26. She Set Up The Ultimate Glitter Bomb

Remember when glitter bombs were a thing? Granted, it was only a 2-minute thing, but it received some pretty widespread coverage and got intense for a moment there. The company may have flopped, but the legend lives on. This is a super sneaky way to get at someone and would be near impossible to clean and get out of everything. You’d probably be finding glitter for decades.

The itty pieces would probably end up in your blood somehow:
“I covered his ceiling fan with glitter.” Zafara1

25. He Dated His Ex’s Roommate

“My last girlfriend cheated on me, and she and her roommate at the time had gotten to that point in their lease where they weren’t super fond of each other and kept some distance. Her roommate was smoking hot, kind of b**chy sometimes, and wasn’t fond of my ex, so I decided to make a move on her.

Best move ever. The look on my ex’s face when her roommate walked me to the door in her underwear after the first night was priceless.

We proceeded to have hot, dirty, loud fun almost nightly for the next 8 weeks until their lease was up and for a while after that. My ex even walked in on us in the living room once. There’s no way I felt bad about it. Disheremythrowaway
24. His Bully Had To Search For The Shoe He Stole And Threw

“Once, in first grade, I took off my shoe because I had a rock in it. For no reason, other than this kid was a huge bully, the class jerk stole it and took off running. I chased after him and he eventually threw my shoe down a hill into a field of tall grass and just looks at me with a huge grin.

In a badass stone cold first-grade timbre, I say: ‘Go find it,’ and shove him down the hill into the grass after it.

He starts crying and we run to the teacher. After explaining what happened, she made him go into the field and find my shoe. He crawled through the grass for about an hour before it finally turned up.” Taln_Noro
23. He Filled His Pumpkins With Cement

“I have a friend whose pumpkin/fall display at the end of his driveway would be run over by the neighborhood jerk every single year. My friend decided to put a stop to it. He withdrew money from his savings account to buy the largest pumpkin he could find, along with several large bags of concrete mix.

Then, he filled that puppy up and made a really pretty display. The jacka** broke the axle of his car when he hit that pumpkin, and he couldn’t drive away. My friend had his car towed away, too.” user
22. He Stole Back His Enormous Potato Product – 12 Years Later

“It was actually against me… If that gives you any clue as to how justified and perfect it was.

When I was 4 and my brother was 6, we were on our way to my great-grandfather’s funeral. My parents stop at McDonald’s and out of my brother’s small fry bag (the 4.5″ tall white bag of fries), he pulls an 11” fry.

Impossible right? We’re in the back seat. I see it. He yells to my parents to witness this awesome fry but before they can turn around I snatch it and eat it. He is upset. Whatever.
Cut to 12 years later.
Home after school. No parents. Friends hanging out in the kitchen. Everyone is scurrying around for an after-school snack. My brother and I are at the table and our friends are in the other part of the kitchen. Out of this bag of Wavy Lays, I pull a potato chip that is literally the size of my skull. No idea how this thing didn’t break in transit.

I’m like, Oh my God! Guys, look at this chip! Before anyone can even turn their heads, my brother reaches across with his right hand and crushes the chip to crumbs. I have WTF eyes baring down on him and he simply says, ‘That’s for the fry.’ 12 years had passed and we had never spoken about it but it took less than a second to remember everything and just nod in agreement that the score was settled. One enormous potato product for another. True story.” imstillnotfunny
21. He Planted Catnip In Mean Kid’s Backyard

“I couldn’t stand this one kid who I went to high-school with, who lived a few blocks away in the neighborhood.

One night, he sent cops to my parent’s house where I was still living, telling them I had done something I didn’t do. Luckily, I had a receipt in my pocket from the restaurant I was at, in a suburb 10 miles away that was time-stamped half an hour later than when he said the incident occurred. Regardless, my parents were woken up, etc. I was pissed.

Well, a few days later, my mom bought some plants that she left in the kitchen window. Our family cat was a nutball, to begin with, but all of a sudden he was constantly jumping on the counters, eating these plants.

When I’d try and shoo him down, he would actually take a defensive stance and hiss and scratch. 10 minutes later, he would be back, chewing on the leaves.
I asked my mom what the plants were, and she said, ‘Oh, they’re catnip. They have a really pretty flower. I’m going to plant them in the backyard when the weather warms up.’ I was like, ‘Not a chance you’re planting these in our backyard. Look what you’re doing to the cat! He’s an aggressive stoner! You’ll bring every cat in the neighborhood, and they will all fight, all night long!!!’

Suddenly, at that exact moment, a revenge plot was born.

The following night, I snuck into the guy’s backyard and planted the catnip everywhere. My friend who lived across the street from him told me it worked perfectly, and that he was always complaining about cats fighting in his backyard after that. Revenge. No physical confrontation, no property damage, just stoned cats. Felt a little like some sort of super villain, sending out my cat minions to do my dirty work.” iamkokonutz
20. He Didn’t Reveal Mean Boss’ Lie Because Living In Secret Is Worse Punishment Than Living Free

“I used to work in a toxic management environment, led by a real jerk at the helm.

I could bore you with how much he made life miserable for everyone around him, but I won’t – suffice it to say, a number of us quit and sued (and settled out of court). Ultimately, he was forced to retire, but that isn’t how revenge was exacted. If you keep reading, be forewarned that this is some higher-level chess-like evil, to be played out over a miserable lifetime. So here goes…
I was in IT in a senior management position (read: I was not a tech.) One day, the jerk is walking by my desk and he tosses his Blackberry at me (yes, literally…it hit me in the chest and landed in my lap).

He says, ‘This doesn’t work…fix it,’ before he walks away. Sigh. I get to work. After spending some time on the phone with the company’s wireless carrier and after investigating his user settings and preferences, I discover that he has elected to save ALL outgoing emails on his device. Of course, once his account size limit was reached, his account auto-disabled. I figured I would see if there were one or two attachments responsible for the bottleneck in his account.
To my surprise, the emails sent and received indicated with zero uncertainty that this married father of two had been having an affair with another man.

I was surprised. So, what to do with this information? Especially during the court case, after, etc. I did nothing in the end. He had been living a lie his entire life and it had made him who he is, a miserable person who bullied everyone around him to cope. If I were to reveal his affair(s), he would have been set free after a period of upset and turmoil in his personal life (possible divorce, children’s issues, etc.). He would have been liberated to live his life how he was meant to. Possibly, he would have known real love and happiness.

If only someone had forced his hand because he could not do it himself. Although the hot-head part of me wanted to shout his secret to the world, I realized that by doing nothing and keeping my mouth shut, I was entombing him in his mortal mental prison for the rest of his life.” throwaway_apples
19. She Won’t Make A Lunch With Love When She’s Angry

“I make my husband a sandwich every day for work. Once, I jokingly kissed it to show him that I made it ‘with love.’ But then for some reason, it stuck, and that just became the habit.

Make a sandwich, give it a little smooch, put into a baggie. Except when I’m mad at him. Then that sandwich isn’t made with love. It gets no kiss. Yeah, enjoy that sandwich, jerkface. I hope it tastes like despair.” User

18. She’s Living A Life Well Lived

“I guess it’s not really revenge because I didn’t inflict this fate on this person, but this ex-popular girl who bullied me in middle and high school for having a scoliosis brace came into the Credit Union where I work to get help for her debts that she couldn’t afford to pay back. She was overweight, dressed like a had-been B list porn star, and financially, absolutely eff’d.

I straightened my suit, took her into my office, and helped her with consolidation loans. I could tell she wanted me to say something about our past but I didn’t. Sometimes the best vengeance really is living better, and showing those people who hurt you that they are just a passing blow.” TheSixofSwords

17. He Got To Watch His Bully Go Down In Flames In Court

“A few months out of college, I got a job working in the courts. Not long after I started, I was perusing the docket and saw the name of a kid who made my life a living hell in middle school – it turns out he’d been caught selling drugs out of his basement.

In my job, I only deal with victim-oriented crimes, but I didn’t have any hearings for the next hour, so I decided to sit in. I was standing at the prosecution table chatting when he came in to be sentenced. I turned around, caught him eyeing me and simply said, ‘Hey Mike, how you been?’ He didn’t say anything. He just lowered his gaze to the table, looking dejected. As the judge took his place on the bench I walked back to the gallery and watched my former tormentor get sentenced to two years in the state pen.

There’s a saying that the greatest revenge is to live well.

I came to truly appreciate its wisdom that day.” js155306
16. She Threw Pop Rocks Into Her Sister’s Eyes

“My older sister was always verbally and physically abusive to me. One day we got back from buying candy, and as we’re walking she is being so mean and saying such nasty things,  that I lose my mind. I threw the open pack of pop rocks into her face. The moisture of her eyes started making the candy pop. Crying made it worse, but the icing on the cake was when she tried to flush it out with the garden hose, creating (what I imagine, based on her screams) the most painful experience with popping candy ever.” Ass_Cheeze_Yes_Plz
15. He Gave The Customer $5.85 In Pennies

“I used to work at a pizzeria.

There was this one customer that everyone hated. She was rude as hell, complained about everything (every single order she ever received, she found something to complain about). And she wasn’t a normal customer, no, she would order essentially groceries from us by ordering disassembled sandwiches. For example, she’d order a chicken sandwich but with all of the ingredients separate and in particular amounts, with cutlery, butter, a side of grated cheese, 3 plates, oil and vinegar on the side, ‘medium rare’ toasted bread (whatever the heck that means), extra packets of ranch – you get the idea. But because it was all technically part of a ‘sandwich’ she didn’t expect to be charged for any of the extras and would complain.

She also refused to answer the door when delivery drivers got there and instead would leave the money in an envelope (exact change, no tip) under the doormat and wanted the driver to leave the food on her doorstep. She also had weird specifications about where the driver could park (never in her driveway, only on the street, even when it was raining or she’d complain). Also, she didn’t want them to announce their arrival in any way (no knocking, no ringing the bell, no beeping their car horns, they needed to be silent or she’d complain). Total nightmare, this woman.

And every time she complained, she’d try to weasel some free stuff out of us for next time.
Anyway, one day she says she needs the driver to make change and she wants him to just leave the change in the envelope and not take a tip because ‘he gets paid already.’ So I tell my driver this and he says, ‘Ohhh I get paid, do I? No problem, I’ll take care of it.’ He goes on the delivery and comes back pleased as punch, doesn’t say a word about how he ‘took care of it.’ I get distracted, keep working, 10 minutes later I get a phone call.

It’s the crazy lady and she’s FURIOUS because apparently, my driver left her the correct change of $5.85, in the envelope like she asked – IN PENNIES.
Genius. I had to put her on hold so I could laugh. I get back on the phone with her and I said. ‘Ma’am, I think you’ll find that pennies are legal tender. There’s nothing I can do.’ After explaining that I am, indeed, the manager and the highest authority present, she got fed up and hung up on me. That driver is still a king to me.” kVIIIwithan8

14. They Wired The Car To Electrocute Potential Thieves

Even old rickety lemons have a use! They may not drive well or look pretty on the road, but those parts are valuable.

And people can and will try to steal ’em:
“My dad had an old truck parked on the back of our property that some people kept stealing small parts from (cap, rotor, points, etc). We wired it to an electric fence power supply. One evening we heard a bunch of yelling and swearing and went back there and the guy left us some free tools.” porcelainvacation

13. He Stuffed His Brother’s New Shoes So He’s Get The Hand Me Downs

This is one smart kid and little bit slow older brother:

“Being the youngest brother, I would only get hand-me-downs. My older brother rubbed it in my face that he got a brand new pair of PF Flyers after Sand Lot came out.

Every day, I would stuff the toe of the shoes with tissue paper, adding a little more each day till he thought he outgrew them. Got slightly worn, PF Flyers, after about a month.” damnit_bemo
12. He Threw His One Penny Tip On The Road

“I used to deliver pizza for Domino’s. It was my last shift and there was this house that was always rude (I called to asked what the house looked like and they said, ‘I gave you the address’ and hung up), never tipped, etc. I got to their house and they gave me a check for 1 cent less that what the total was.

I said, ‘I am going to need the extra penny.’ They grumbled off and took their time, hoping I would give up but I just sat there holding the pizza. They finally came back all pissed off and gave me the penny. Note that they had no intention of tipping. They gave me the penny and I chucked it out into the street and left. They saw me do it. It was SATISFYING.” Whosyabobby
11. She Wrote Down All The Wrong Answers So He’s Stop Copying Her

“During my Freshman year of high school, I was in a biology class that was made up of mostly juniors.

This one guy, who sat next to me, would always be a jerk to me during class. I always did well on the tests so he would always look over and copy the answers from my scantron. I’m pretty sure he didn’t realize that I knew he was cheating off of me.

Well, one day I got fed up with this guy messing with me and cheating off of me. So, the next test comes around and sure enough, he starts copying my answers. I finish the test and so does he. He gets up and turns his test in and comes back to his seat.

I looked him in the eyes and proceeded to erase my entire scantron. I then retook the test, this time marking the correct answers. The look of panic in his eyes was so satisfying. He ended up making a 2% on that test and never cheated off me again.” Thenevermore52
10. He Put The Customer’s One Item On The Rude Lady’s Bill

“You young’uns here might not believe it, but back in the early 90s, supermarket cashiers had to type every price in by hand.

I was at a Vons in San Diego, walking toward the only open check stand with a single bottle of soda in my hand.

Suddenly, this hoity toity lady with a cart stacked to the top flew out of one of the aisles like a freight train and cut me off. ‘I’m in a hurry,’ she said, then looked away like she was annoyed that I’d been born.
I looked at the cashier. He rolled his eyes and got to work. Five minutes later, she’s walking out the door and it’s my turn.

‘You’re good,’ says the cashier. ‘I put your soda on her bill.’ Damn, that felt good.” Irishzombieman

9. He Counted Out Around $20 Worth Of Change Before Handing Over The Pizza

“I occasionally deliver pizza as a part-time job.

There is a customer that tends to pay with a big bag of change. I don’t mean a bag full of quarters, I mean a bag full of dimes, nickels, and pennies. Since his meal typically costs about $20, the bag usually weighs several pounds. It is a total pain to count out all of the change, so typically drivers will just assume that he has the correct amount and leave. Usually, he has just enough or maybe a few cents over. I don’t think it is an innocent thing either, as he usually gives the bag of change with a big grin.

It is such a pain, that most of the drivers know his address by heart, and avoid going to his house if at all possible.
I was having a bad night, and by the luck of the draw got this dude’s house. I pulled up to his house and left the pizza in the car. I rang the doorbell, and when he answered I saw the large bag of change in his hand that I knew would be there. He asked where his pizza was, and I said, ‘New policy, sir. Gotta count it out before we can give out the pizza.’
So I sat down on his doorstep and started to count out all of the change.

At one point, I even asked if he could turn on his porchlight because I was having a hard time seeing. He ended up sitting there while I counted out the entire bag of change, even though it took about ten minutes. He ended up being about a dollar over, so I started picking up pennies to give him his change back when he said that I could keep the rest as a tip. When I gave him his pizza, he sheepishly told me sorry and then shut the door.
The whole situation was incredibly awkward, and to my knowledge, he hasn’t ordered pizza from us in a while.

Oh well.” thr33beggars

8. He Told Her To Kiss Her Daddy After She Licked Something Gross

Subtle and stealth, but would be hilarious to watch. I feel bad for the kid, however. That can’t taste good or be good for your health:

“When I was in 7th grade, the startup my dad was a part of was failing miserably in no small part due to a crazy CEO. While at his house, my dad observed the CEO’s toddler daughter picking up a piece of dog poop and licking it. He picked her up and told her to give her dad a kiss.” cubansquare
7. She Peed Into The Vents Every Time Mom Upset Her

“When I was a kid there was a point in time that our entire house smelled like urine.

NOTHING could get rid of the smell. My mom is a neat freak who wants everything clean and smelling nice at all times. Eventually, when we were about to move out, my sister admitted whenever my mom would make her mad, she’d go pee in the vent. So much pee was in our air vents, we had to get them professionally cleaned. My mom was so horrified she didn’t even punish her for it.
I would like to add that when I asked her, ‘Didn’t the smell bother you too?’ I remember her saying ‘Yes, but whenever it did, I would just think about how much more its bothering mommy because she doesn’t know where it’s coming from, and I do.’ Also, she was like 5 yrs old at the time.” tsim12345

6. He Injected Hot Sauce Into His Roommate’s Tampons

“I took a syringe and some Dave’s Insanity sauce.

Injected it into one of my roommate’s tampons and waited. Two weeks later I am awakened by what can only be described as a banshee screaming bloody murder. I do realize that that is rather extreme and could probably cause irreparable damage, but I find myself not caring. She was, and continues to be, a horrible excuse for a person.
Here’s the backstory:

I moved to my particular university as a last-ditch effort to go to school. I was a semester behind because I was undergoing cancer treatment for what would be my first semester. I couldn’t afford to live in a dorm anywhere.

My cousin, who I live with as well, offered me a room in her apartment that had recently been vacated. The rent on this place is well below what it would normally be, thus allowing me to live there and go to school. Anyway, shortly after moving, my girlfriend at the time was killed by a drunk driver on her way home from visiting her parents. I was devastated. I lost my drive to do anything, and I didn’t speak to anyone aside from my best friend to assure him that I hadn’t killed myself or whatever. I was like this for several months until I was lifted out of my funk by several wonderful people, including my best friend.

That’s a different story for a different thread. However, this is where my desire for revenge stems from, essentially.
See, the woman who lives with my cousin and me is…I can’t really find a single word. She’s manipulative, greedy, hateful, gossipy. The problem with her started when she began spreading some crap about how I made up weeks of cancer treatments and my girlfriend dying because I wanted attention. She would send extremely hateful text messages to me at random times of the day after I recovered from my depression, saying things like I should be ashamed of myself for lying to everybody.

That my girlfriend never existed and that I used that as a cover-up because I’m secretly gay. I’d get these texts in class and it would be very difficult for me to continue going about my day after that. Why she would think or say those things to someone is beyond me. Especially since she met my girlfriend at least once at a gathering at my aunt’s house. Everyone knew she was real, so why bother?
She still maintains I made all of that up to this day, two years later. That isn’t all, either. Our bills were addressed to her until six months ago when I discovered she was dividing up the shares unequally and skimming money off the top of the money we gave her to cover it.

She has broken into my room to have sex on my bed multiple times. She let her dog poop on my pillows.
I’ve started dating someone within the past two months. I’m apparently paying her to have sex with me to keep hiding the fact that I apparently gay. Who woulda thunk it?
Any time she messes something up in the apartment, it is anybody’s fault but hers. Case in point, our garbage disposal broke down a couple of months ago. Why? She peeled potatoes into it. There’s a sticky note that resides on the wall above the switch to turn the disposal on which states not to peel potatoes into the disposal.

It’s been there since the last time she clogged the disposal with potato peels. It was my fault even though I hadn’t been there in three days because I was visiting some friends.

She’s scamming her fiance, plans to divorce him for all he’s worth, five years and two kids after they get married. He won’t listen to anything I say because she has him wrapped around her little finger. How do I know this? Because she likes to gossip to her lowlife friends on the phone about a whole lot of stuff when she thinks nobody is around.
Why don’t we kick her out? Her parents own the condo.

We pay rent directly to them. They think they raised a perfect little angel and won’t hear anything negative about her. Why don’t I move out? I have nowhere to go. I can’t afford it, so I just deal with it.

Did I do something wrong when I put the hot sauce in one of her tampons? Undoubtedly. Do I care? Not really. Who am I to be judge and jury? I dunno. I had been wronged and I wanted revenge. I’m not really proud of what I did, but you better believe I’d do it again in a heartbeat. Ptolemaeus_II
5. He Super Spammed His Cheap Client

“My friend did some work for a guy who never paid him.

My friend is so petty, he placed fake for-sale ads with too-good-to-be-true deals, like a nice boat for $1,000, with the guy’s number. On top of that, our city is big on garage sales, so he posted ads like, ‘Moving out sale, everything must go, cheap! Will be held inside the house — just walk in or ring the doorbell,’ with the guy’s address on the ad. He also signed him up for numerous ‘free gym memberships’ and responded to things like car dealership ads with this guy’s phone number.” Ash1989
4. She Haunted Her Picky Boss With The Smell Of Popcorn

“I had a boss seven or eight years ago who I hated.

She was the fakest and most entitled person I had ever met. One day, she decided that she didn’t like the smell of microwave popcorn, so she waved her magic office wand and had it banned. Fast-forward a month or so, I was browsing Amazon and found one of those USB sticks that emits a smell when plugged in — the smell of buttered popcorn. I bought it and plugged it into the back of her computer, and she had the sweet smell of PopSecret in her office for six whole months. She complained almost every day. It’s the sweetest revenge I’ve ever tasted.” weshric
3. She Removed All The Labels From All The Cans

Genius. This is the perfect petty revenge that won’t actually make you cry, but will be a huge inconvenience.

Expecting a can of pineapple? BAM! You get chunky ocean-wise tuna in organic olive oil. Gross:

“My brother did something to his annoy his then-girlfriend, so she took the labels off all his canned food in the cupboard. Are you opening a can of beans? Or a tin of tomato sauce? Or cat food? Kinda hilarious.” WhoriaEstafan

2. He Wants To Make Running A Business Even More Challenging

We’ve all been sat beside an obnoxious table or couple who laughs too loudly, complains too much and are so self-absorbed they don’t realize they’re sharing space with other humans. This guy’s passive-aggressive behavior will forever go undetected.

It’s his dirty little secret that he can probably make a lot of money off of. I wonder if this has ever happened to me after I’ve come up with a good name:
“Coffee shop. People next to me are loud and rude. They just found the perfect name for their new business. I just bought the domain name.” sehnaoui

1. They Seriously Messed With Their Cruel Boss’ Head – And It Might Have Saved His Family

“Dave was not a nice person. Stoop-shouldered, balding, in his 50’s, Dave was patronizing and irritating. He’d been at IBM his whole career, had been making good money, and hated contractors.

He thought they were bad for the company, that the only people worth anything were regular employees, and he made it his personal priority to mess with all of us. Nothing overt, but constant subtle pressure was put on everyone whose badge said, ‘Contractor’ on it. Whatever the reason, he took every opportunity to send us on little errands, wouldn’t get back to us if we needed something, criticized anything we did and generally made our lives hell in a way that couldn’t be directly protested.
I was pretty good friends with the guy sharing the room with him, another full-time employee and one day,’Robert’ called me up.

‘We’re going for coffee.

‘Um, ok, let me just finish up a few things.’

‘You don’t understand. We need coffee NOW!’

Right. I headed over to his office and he met me about halfway there. His eyes were shining with glee but he wouldn’t tell me what was going on until we had our coffee in the cafeteria. Once we finally had a table, he said, ‘Ok. Dave’s a fetish wrestler!’

‘Huh?’

‘He’s a fetish wrestler!’

‘Dude, I’ve got nothing. WTF is a fetish wrestler?’
It turned out that there were men who pay women to wrestle them into submission. Some of them did it as a sort of hobby and others were extremely serious about it.

Dave was one of the latter. Several times a year, he’d tell his wife he was meeting up with old Army buddies but went to Fetish Wrestling conventions instead. They were highly organized, had rings set up for use, referees to score the matches and everything. I never quite understood the need for refs, but hey, it’s not my fetish. There were web pages devoted to the women who were available to wrestle and Dave’s favorite was a woman named, ‘Red Robin.’ She was a little tiny woman who was an absolute beast and he paid her thousands of dollars every time he’d go to one of these conventions for her to wrestle him for about 20 minutes per match.

We went back to my office and pulled up Red Robin’s website.
‘Why does he pay this woman to wrestle him? She’s ugly as hell. Do they hook up after?”

‘He says no.’

‘Let me get this straight. Dave lies to his wife, flies out to California to have an ugly woman named Red Robin wrestle him into submission, pays her $400 per match, and DOESN’T get with her?”

‘Yep.’

‘That’s crap!’

I went on to the main wrestling site and started reading Dave’s posts. And there were a ton of them. He talked in great detail and depth about the ‘sport,’ had invented his own move, called the ‘Twisted Ostrich,’ and told stories about amazing matches he’d won and lost.

Look, I’m all about people’s private lives remaining private, and I probably wouldn’t have done anything if he hadn’t so consistently been awful to me. But he had, so game on! I registered a fake account under the name Sue_Plex on the wrestling web site and started corresponding with him.
I started by asking him some technical questions about the ‘Twisted Ostrich,’ but it wasn’t long until he started asking me personal questions. As time went by, I fleshed out the character so, within about a month, he had become quite good friends with Miss Plex. I told him I was a late-20s single lawyer living in D.C.

My marriage had ended because my husband just didn’t understand my interest in such a harmless sport. It was so nice to talk to someone like him who really understood me.
It was unbelievably satisfying. Every time he’d send me on some stupid errand, I’d think of how he was confessing his private life to the character I’d created. Oh, and he lied his a** off. He dropped a good ten years and his wife somehow. Finally, he asked for a picture. Well, I’d already downloaded a whole set of a girl who looked about that age, and the photos didn’t look professional.

I started with a simple one and he gushed about how hot I was. Over the next few weeks, I sent him more and more photos, each more revealing than the last, until the girl was fully nude, but didn’t look posed.
He started trying to be really sexy and started talking about how the best way to end a good wrestling match was with sex. Hold the phones! He’d told Robert that there wasn’t any sex at the matches! I probed a bit and he finally admitted he had sex with the girls he wrestled. I knew it!

He was hooked. His work slowed down, he became obsessed with Sue_Plex and quite frankly, my work suffered as well having to answer all his notes.

Fortunately, he didn’t notice because he was too busy sending off love letters. Now, it was driving me nuts, because here was this creepy 50’ish guy who was still giving me a daily ration of crap but was secretly having an online affair with a character I’d created.
Robert and I had a ton of fun with the poor guy, but one day, he called me up again – ‘Coffee. Now.’ In the cafeteria, he told me that Dave had another ‘Army reunion’ coming up and we should see if we could get him to come to D.C. to meet ‘Sue’ instead.

Hmmmm. Genius! I sent Dave an email and said we should get together sometime. Boom. In a flash, he responded that he had been thinking the same thing and had some time off in a few weeks. Would I be interested in him coming to visit? Yes. Yes, I would.
As Sue, I arranged to meet him in D.C. at a local hotel. As the day approached, Dave became more and more excited and messed with us less and less. He still tried, but the conviction and heat weren’t there anymore. Robert and I were going nuts, having to act like nothing was going on while Dave prattled on about how happy he was to hook up with his old Army buddies, what a fun trip it would be, how he was hoping he didn’t get pinned down by the snow, etc.

I guess he thought he was being clever, but since we already knew the entire story, it just came across as pathetic. He left early on a Friday to catch his flight, smiling like a champ.
Tuesday morning, he showed up looking like his best friend had died. We asked what was wrong and he tried to play it off like he was just tired from his long weekend, but as soon as he could, he sent Sue a message asking what the hell had happened and why hadn’t she showed up? We waited to respond until after lunch. He was a basket case.

Finally, we fired back a furious message that we’d called his house on Friday just to leave him a message and some WOMAN ANSWERED! We said we’d pretended to give her a survey and we knew about his wife and 4 kids. So he’d been lying to us all along. Basically, we went crazy on him. We told him if he ever tried to contact us again, we’d tell his wife everything. We waited for him to get the email, watched him surreptitiously read it and then we watched him have a meltdown.
He started sweating like crazy, called his wife to check on her, and finally left early.

He was never the same after that. He pretty much stopped messing with contractors and kept to himself. We never sent him any more emails and he never sent any to Sue. My contract ended not too long after that and that was the last I heard of him.”  Warlizard

Want more stories of revenge? Check out Part 2 for more deliciously hilarious stories of revenge by clicking here.

Is revenge sweet? Does it feel good in the end? I think if it’s naturally karmic it’s even sweeter than have to plot or scheme. What goes around comes around, and usually, it comes around to those who deserve it, good or bad.

On the other hand, they do make for some interesting stories – that’s for sure! What do you think? How would you deal with a disloyal lover? A mean boss? A friend with an attitude! Let us know!