People Expect To Get Roasted After Telling Their "Am I The Jerk" Stories

We never really mean to treat others badly. But on occasion, when things become chaotic and we're feeling really agitated, we could unintentionally respond hastily. But despite that, I believe that with a little mindfulness and a sprinkle of kindness, we can all strive to be better versions of ourselves and avoid acting rudely. These people below are checking their past to determine if they've ever been unkind to anyone so they may change for the better. Let us know which of them you think are jerks after reading their stories. AITJ = Am I the jerk? NTJ = Not the jerk WIBTJ = Would I be the jerk? YTJ = You're the jerk

35. AITJ For Not Wanting My Brother To Come With Us To The Theme Park?

“My (19 F) little brother (10 M) broke his ankle LITERALLY this week on Monday. So he’s bound to the couch or a wheelchair right now since he has to keep his foot up.

I live with my parents (49 M, 45 F) and we all had planned a family trip to a theme park 2 hours away this Monday, which would be a week after the break. My brother had been talking about it for weeks; it would be the first time he would get to ride a particular roller coaster since he was too scared before, but now he was brave enough.

He was SO excited. But then, he broke his ankle. My parents, however, are determined to still go on this trip on Monday, because our tickets could not be postponed.

Also, they say they really want to go. My brother would have to find a way to sit in a car for 2 hours on the way there and back while keeping his leg high, being safe, and being comfortable.

Hard, but maybe not impossible?

The problem however arises at the theme park itself. It’s lovely. However, my brother can go on EXACTLY 5 RIDES which includes an ANIMATRONIC SHOW and A 4D MOVIE. The other rides are not wheelchair accessible, and he can’t walk right now.

Of these 5 rides, he’ll enjoy ~3. I think it’s extremely sad to put this boy near all the coasters he’s been excited about for months now and confront him with all he cannot do. I told my parents this, and they went crazy on me; I was egotistical and mean and I just didn’t want to go because I didn’t love them or him, etc. This is not true; I just don’t want to go with him right now.

We should go later. My parents had already stated that we would go again when he was better, just now. I still don’t like that idea. I even came up with a list of fun activities that WERE wheelchair accessible, but they said that no, they really wanted to go to the theme park.

When I brought the bad news about the coasters to my little brother (while trying to be as sensitive as I could) he started crying and said that it wasn’t me, he was just sad that he would miss out yet again (which shocked me because it was so mature?

but also cute and sad). My mom got mad saying I was going to ruin the day for them before it even started, and got mad at my brother for crying because there were other fun things. He got tantrum-y and said ‘BUT NOT THE COASTERS’ but after some of my mom’s convincing he said (still crying) ‘Okay Mom, I’ll still go for you, stop being mad because I’ve SAID I’LL GO’ (rough translation).

Which broke my heart. I just don’t think it’s a good idea and we are better off postponing the trip rather than confronting this 10-year-old with all the things he wants to do but cannot do.

Also: my brother has been very sick because of the pain and the loss of sleep so he has been vomiting and crying a lot, and being two hours away from home is quite a lot if you’re all of a sudden nauseating.

My partner’s family sides with me, but I feel like I am going crazy. So AITJ?”

1 points - Liked by anma7

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anma7 4 months ago
NTJ.... your parents are vile.. they are going to force him to travel in pain feeling sick tired to thrn be pushed round in a wheelchair so THEY can ride the rides while using brother to get to the front of the queues cos you know WHEELCHAIR blah blah blah.. omg you are so far from being rhe jerk in this honey... unfortunately your parents are so far above being jerks that they don't deserve kids to be honest
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34. AITJ For Leaving A Yelp Review About My Ex Who's Working At A Restaurant?

“At the time, it was my senior year of high school and I had recently gotten out of a year-long relationship with a girl who was rich, spoiled, extremely manipulative, and a pathological liar.

I decided I’d get a job. Coincidentally, we both applied for the SAME job and got the job within 2 days of each other. She was hired first and ended up spreading a rumor that ‘I was stalking her’. I didn’t know this rumor was spread, but due to being in the same area as my ex for 6-7 hours a day, I did my best to not look at her or acknowledge her in any way.

While on a slow shift, some of my coworkers ended up talking to me about our relationship (which I really didn’t mind) and I reassured them that they could ask any questions they wanted. They asked basic things like ‘How long were you guys together’ and ‘Why did the relationship end’.

I let them know it was between her and me and gave as little details as possible. Apparently, she had also told my coworkers I was crazy, which they reassured me after they asked questions that it was definitely the other way around.

Flash forward a month, and one of my close friends who was also a senior in high school was hired there.

He was expecting a child and told our manager that he wanted to take as many shifts as possible in order to provide. Our manager of course gave him shifts during weekdays as he requested.

Anyways, at this time my ex was stuck working in the kitchen while my close friend and I were hosts — she apparently had felt that my close friend had ‘stolen’ her job, and lied to our manager saying that he was making rude comments towards her.

As a result, my close friend got his hours cut. This worried me, especially with his son being born soon. This girl who’s living off of mommy’s money took the hours of someone who is trying to provide.

Flash forward 7 months, I had just left for college.

My close friend and ex were still working there and he’d occasionally call me and tell me stories about the wild things that happen on the shift. It was a daily thing at this point. Close friend’s son was born and he was excited to finally be a dad, working full time now.

One day he called to tell me about the shift, I was expecting another wild story about crazy customers or dumb requests but instead, he told me that my ex was trying to get his hours cut again. I might have been having a bad day or something but this had annoyed me.

I created a Yelp account with a profile picture of an old man I found on Google and left a review on the restaurant. I liked the people who worked there so I left a 5-star review, but in the review, I mentioned that a girl (described her) had been rude to said customer.

Apparently, EVERYONE working there saw the review and would repeat the review word for word to her every time she messed something up. My close friend had told me it had become the running joke there and she had eventually put in her 2 weeks because of it.

Am I the jerk for this?”

1 points - Liked by anma7

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anma7 4 months ago
Lol nope definitely NTJ... she played silly games and won the silly prize simple
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33. AITJ For Ditching My Friend's Other Friends At The Lake?

“I (24 M) just got broken up with about 2 weeks ago. My friend (23 M) invited me out for a day at the lake as a way to cheer me up. I was skeptical but agreed. He asked me if I could pick him up from his house because his car was in the shop.

I agreed.

When I got to his house, I noticed an additional three people waiting with him. Before anyone got in, I questioned him on who these people were. He said they were just a few friends coming with us and that it was nothing to worry about.

I drive 2.5 hours to this lake where we unload and get set up a place on the sand. I immediately noticed that my friend was not paying me any mind and just talking to his other friends. I tried interacting with them and they all just ignored me.

After realizing that they wanted nothing to do with me and that I was just a ride, I decided to make the most of the day and enjoy myself. I went for a nice, long walk and did some soul-searching to come back and find two of the people in the group missing.

I asked where they were and the remaining people just laughed. I looked at my car and I could see them in there doing the deed. I got furious and grabbed all my stuff. I stormed to my car, forced the door open, and demanded they get out.

As they shuffled out of my car with their clothes barely on, I got in my car and proceeded to drive off. The entire ride home I ignored all calls from my friend. When I finally answered, he was screaming at me that they had no way home.

I told him off for inviting me out only to bring people I didn’t know and then ignored me for the whole day and let his friends disrespect my belongings.

He called me a jerk and has not spoken to me since. His mom ended up having to go get them and she ended up calling my parents who also think I am the jerk for leaving my friend stranded with no way home.

I probably could have handled it better but I think I am justified in my actions. AITJ?”

1 points - Liked by anma7

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anma7 4 months ago
I can 1000% guarantee they HAVE NOT TOLD THE TRUTH and that they have lied and said you just stranded them there... tell parents why you left them then ring his mommy amd tell her too.. oh and why the jerk would you want that mooch user to speak to you after that... HE IS NOT A FRIEND end of
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32. AITJ For Going Off At My Stepsister For Wearing My Homecoming Dress?

“My step-sibling (15 F) and I (14 F) have been arguing over clothing recently and you might think it’s some stupid sibling argument but to me, it’s not. This is because ever since I was 11 I’ve been finding a way to pay for my own clothes and not have my parents pay for them, I have made sure to find a way to make money like helping my grandmother with chores around her house, doing yard-work, and babysitting up until this summer.

Now I have a job and make $15 an hour for eight hours a day five days a week and make around $550 a week and around $2000 a month, while she is 15 and has no job except for babysitting neighbor kids once in a while and barely making $100 a week (if she works).

I’ve noticed more often that my clothes have been going missing and when I go in her room to look for them they are always in her drawer. I’ve talked to her multiple times about it nicely and sometimes I’ve even talked to our parents and involved but when I have they’ve always sided with her saying that it’s a material item and I can just buy more.

Also, keep in mind some of my clothes are up to $50 and for a teenager such as myself finds that to be expensive. I didn’t tell my parents how expensive my clothes were until recently when I saw my stepsister wearing my dress that I purchased ahead of time for homecoming because I will not be working while in school because I want to stay focused, but after a saw her wearing my dress that was $300 and stretching it out I got so angry and blew up on her saying that just because she wants my things and wishes she wasn’t a lazy pig that it doesn’t give her the right to wear a dress that I paid for and that even though our parents are married doesn’t mean that I have to think of her as a sister because she’s never been there for me.

She fired back and basically said that she never wanted to be my sister either but Im being dramatic because it’s just a dress and I can buy a new one because I make a lot of money. After she said that I completely snapped and yelled for my stepmother to come and get her daughter out of my dress before I did, after that, she came down the stairs saying I shouldn’t have talked to her daughter like that because I was not her mother, to which I replied I wouldn’t be talking to her like that if you would actually be a mother.

Then I stormed out of the house and went to my friend’s house where I am currently writing this.

About 5 minutes ago I received a bunch of texts from different family members (mostly my step side) saying that I shouldn’t have said what I said and my dad texted me telling me that he doesn’t want me back in his house and he had already set all of my things in the driveway for me to pick up.

And I just want to tell someone this even if it’s random people on the internet to know if I am really the jerk.”

1 points - Liked by anma7

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anma7 4 months ago
HONEY YOU Ain't a jerk where's mom or her family even ??? Go to them if possible n if they ain't worse than dad and his wife.. go to whoever KNOWS how they treat you
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31. AITJ For Pointing Out My Best Friend's Parents' Neglect Toward Her Little Sister?

“I (17 f) have a best friend who I love dearly (17 f). I love her to death but this encounter made me feel crappy. So, I was at her house spending the night hanging out and gaming.

We took a break because we decided that we were hungry and we’re gonna get some food. She proceeds to make her own food which leaves me to make mine. This however is not the problem.

I don’t eat much (like once every 18 hours sometimes) and it had been one of the days where I didn’t eat so I was starving.

We both made the same thing for ourselves and sat down to eat. My best friend is somehow always watching her little sister (2 f) and the parents don’t really care about their kid or even watch their kid. My friend does all that. The baby even sleeps in her room on my friend’s bed so I slept at the end.

Okay, let me get back to the main point. I always try and watch her sister so she can get a little extra sleep because I feel like she deserves a break. While as we sat down to eat she asked me to give her sister some of my food.

(This wouldn’t have been a problem but I only made a little and she had like 3 servings so I was confused why she didn’t give the baby any of hers or ask me to make the baby something. I said, ‘I am really hungry tho.

Can you give her some of yours or I’ll make her something after I am done with mine.’ She replied by saying that I could just make myself something else and give the baby my food. I told her ‘Feeding your sister is not my problem.

Maybe her parents should actually parent and feed her for once.’

My friend looked irritated and proceeded to roll her eyes and ignore me for the next few hours. I left early because I felt uncomfortable. I feel bad but her parents truly show no interest towards that child.

AITJ for telling her that feeding her sister wasn’t my problem?”

1 points - Liked by anma7

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anma7 4 months ago
NTJ.. however are you sure its THEIR KID!!! How long have you known this best friend? Did you see her mom actually pregnant?? Maybe it's not theor kid but HERS!! That she hid the pregnancy and her parents have told her SHE cares for the kid that tney will provide financially but they WILL NOT BE built in babysitters for said kid!! It happens.. however if that is the case may e hee rolling her eyes is because she can't believe your that stupid you haven't worked it out already!!! That you are that self absorbed that you didn't realise YOUR BEST FRIEND had had a kid... thisnwouldnexplain why she is somehow AALWAYS watching the kid however if that's right and bestie is the kids mom she needs help.. cos if she willingly sat there and stuffed her face while ignoring that kid she needs reporting to CPS.. i think she invites you over cos like you say YOU watch the kid so she gets some sleep.. however if it is her kid you need to be a real friend dind out THE TRUTH and help her cos she is most likely exhausted if she is going to school/college caring for the child and getting NO support from her so called parents AT ALL... other than basics.. housing food then she needs proper help or tnat kid needs to go into the system if her parents really ain't gonna give her practical help... so who has the kid when your at school etc? Does she have to drop her at daycare or woth a relative? Or is tnat the ONLY time her parents actually watch the kid... so if it turns out it is her kid not her sister then you should feel crappy for not realising and offering g her more support.. if it is her baby sister then your should feel crappy for not helping her call her parents out.. arethey there when you are ? Does the kids call them mom/dad or by their first names, are fired s parents substance users or are they always at work ? BE A DECENT FRIEND FOR GODS SAKE ASK HER IF SHE NEEDS HELP ASK HER WHY THEOR PARENTS CHOOSE TO IGNORE THE BABY HELPMHER ACCESS HELP IF IT IS HER BIO KID oh and apologise eh she's likely knackered from 2yrs of little sleep and lives for the times you go over to hang put with her cos it's the only time she gets company other than the kid
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30. AITJ For Wanting My Sister To Be A Bridesmaid At My Wedding?

“My wife’s family put 75% of the money into the wedding, with myself and my family putting in the remainder. I didn’t want too much of a say in the wedding as I knew it was my wife and her mother’s chance at her/their dream wedding.

All I wanted was for my sister to be a bridesmaid. My sister is a sweet, intelligent young woman but she is very overweight and she is not at all photogenic. My wife was a size 4, my sister would have been a size 24. I don’t care, I love her and so what if the dress is a bit more expensive?

I checked with my sister first and she said she would be okay with it, as long as the dress had sleeves. I then asked my wife and she said she didn’t plan on having x number of bridesmaids so no. I asked why my sister couldn’t be one instead of one of her work friends, but the answer was still no. I was getting a lot of pushback, and in the end, my wife called her mother and did a conference call and just basically said that the dream wedding didn’t include my sister as part of the bridal party and that I was trying to push my wants onto everyone else, including my sister.

She could be an usherette at the reception, otherwise, she was a guest like anyone else.

I was angry about this but didn’t say anything as I could tell it was upsetting my wife, and I called my sister later and spoke to her again about this.

She said that she would be a lot happier not being in the bridal party. I asked her if my wife had called her, and she said no. She said that she only agreed to be a bridesmaid because I asked her, but she knew that she wouldn’t ‘fit in’ and she would ‘ruin the pictures’ and it was best to let to go.

So I didn’t push it any further. So why? AITJ? Some said that I should have just stuck with choosing groomsmen. Some said I should have insisted on my sister being in the bridal party. Others said I did the right thing in dropping it as the only one who wanted my sister there was me at the end of the day.

I feel like I was a jerk as I didn’t stand up for my sister, but she didn’t want me to? It’s still the one sad memory about what otherwise was a wonderful day.


It was my wife’s dream wedding, and to be honest I think her mom’s wedding do-over as well.

I was happy to let them pick and choose everything, all I wanted was my sister there. It didn’t occur to me to have my sister as a groomswoman, I didn’t know they existed. I don’t know how that would have flown anyway, it was being an usherette at the reception or nothing.

They were talking a lot about having a good ‘balance’ for the wedding photos so my groomsmen were vetted according to height and build to make sure we would form a nice triangle on one of the shots or something like that. LOL. My friends really enjoyed having to get measured up.”

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anma7 4 months ago
YTJ... so basically your opening words were.... well i love my sister but she is obese and ugly but put politer ways... sis didnt want to be a bridesmaid and as for the so what if the dress for her would be more expensive.. easy for you to say it wasn't your money !!! You tell wife she can have full control of her perfect day you don't care then want her to include sister who KNOWS she wouldn't fit in with the rest of the wedding party in size and looks... she's probably has issues about both that YOU KNOW NOTHING about.... cos let's be honest.. your a male and i bet sister has hidden her feelings for years anyways.... she should have told you when you asked lokk bro i DONT WANT to be in the wedding party cos i don't want to be up front central.... which she would... but she didn't cos she didn't want to hurt your feelings WIFE shpuldmhave told you the truth from the start.. that she didn't WANT sis in HER wedding party.. if you talk about sisters size and looks imagine what a room full of brides family and friends would have said about sister !!!! But sister and bride knew this so bride chose to not put her new sil in that position... yes everyone had a blast but so did sis knowing that as just a guest she could hide out the way of staring guests and out of earshot of any nasty jerk comments
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29. AITJ For Not Pushing My Daughter To Play With Her Cousin?

“I (F 35) have a daughter, M (8). My stepbrother has a daughter the same age (L) with his wife P. We all (mum, stepdad, all my stepbrothers plus spouses and kids) visited our parents’ estate abroad for a couple of weeks, as we do most summers and Christmases.

M and L were the only two children there. M and L got along fine when they were very little, because at that age it’s easier for kids to find common ground, but for the last couple of years, M has said she doesn’t enjoy seeing or playing with L.

I can see why – they’re just very different kids, not better or worse, just different. M likes to read and play with dolls and is happy to sit quietly and do her own thing whether by herself. L, on the other hand, is always in motion, running, shouting, attention seeking.

Before the holiday, M asked if she had to play with L because she really didn’t want to, and I told her no, she didn’t have to. I told her that of course, she had to be polite and gracious to L, but that no one is entitled to her time, and if she didn’t want to play with L she should politely decline and do what she wanted. Nothing further was said about it and for the first few days I wasn’t aware of any discord.

About a week into the trip, I went with my stepdad to fetch an art piece for the house about 40 minutes away. When I came back, my mum explained that L had asked M to play outside and M had said no thank you, which apparently caused L to have a meltdown and tell her mother, who came into the kitchen and had the audacity to try to force M to play with L until my mother told her to back off.

P then proceeded to call M a bully. My mum stopped her and told her to leave the room, which she did, and that was the scene when we arrived home. My mum pleaded with me not to make an issue of it, but I stormed in to confront P (not in front of the children).

P had a long rant about how I was teaching my child to be a bully, that this was especially hurtful to L as she is bullied at school, and that I should teach my daughter to be kind to people with ‘special needs’. I had never heard of L having special needs prior to this conversation – though it wouldn’t surprise me – but I told P that not only did that not change the situation, M wasn’t ‘bullying’ L in the first place, she just politely declined to do something she didn’t want to do, and that it would be a cold day in the underworld before I taught my young daughter that anyone can demand or cajole her into doing things with them when she doesn’t want to.

I also told her in no uncertain terms that she should not even think of overstepping boundaries with my child in the future.

Obviously, the whole family has since weighed in. The general consensus is that while P reacted in a way that was totally unacceptable, giving M permission base to say no to playing with the already isolated and temperamental L was a bad move.

I, however, am standing my ground on the issue. So, was I wrong to tell M to assert herself politely?”

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rbleah 4 months ago
Does not matter if L has SPECIAL NEEDS or not. That is NO REASON to try to FORCE YOUR DAUGHTER to play with someone she DOES NOT WANT TO PLAY WITH. L's mommy better step up for her daughter and find things to occupy HER DAUGHTER and not try to put it off on YOUR DAUGHTER to keep L busy or just for L to get her own way. YOU ARE NOT THE JERK.
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28. AITJ For Not Applying For Any Of The Jobs My Mom Recommended?

“I am not healthy, my hygiene isn’t the best, I am in my mid-20s and I don’t have a job. But, I think the thing that separates me is that I’ve been trying to get out of my situation.

Over the past 3 years, I have been taking courses to try to get into tech. This includes 2 boot camps that I have attended and a bunch of courses in two different fields of tech. And I feel like I’ve developed and improved enough skills to try to break into tech.

My mother has been telling me about different job openings that she’s found and that I should apply for them. But the jobs pay minimum wage or just barely above that. I’ve been telling her that I’ve been trying to build the skills to get a job that pays enough so she won’t have to work anymore.

She’s not technically literate at all, so I understand from her side it just seems like I am in my room playing games or something. But I just recently finished a coding Bootcamp and I have actively started applying for jobs now. The first application I sent was for a nearly 6 figure job and I got through to the second technical interview.

And now it feels like I am so close to actually getting a tech job. But she still keeps bringing me a ‘Cashier job’ at Walmart that pays 10 bucks.

It just gets me upset that… I don’t know. It feels like she doesn’t believe in me or that she does not understand how close the money is.

I get that it’s been 3 years and it seems like no progress has been made. But I feel so close. And I genuinely believe I can do it. I spend almost all my time writing custom resumes and cover letters, or practicing coding, or working on my portfolio.

I understand her frustration, but if I spent time trying to get a cashier job or something. The money would not help much and it would take away time from actually applying at places that could genuinely change our lives.

I don’t think I am being the jerk for not wanting to apply for any of the jobs she sends my way.

But maybe I am?”

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anma7 4 months ago
YTJ.. and you are delusional too... you have NO work history especially IN TECH which is what counts.. your unhealthy and your hygiene is crap... that alone would discount you from past 1st stage interviews.. cos NO ONE wants to hire an unfit smelly person to work in an enclosed space for sometimes upwards of 14hrs a DAY... add to that you have NO QUALIFICATIONS in tech, didn't go to college to STUDY ANY part of tech!!! You are teaching yourself to code.. that's great however thinking you will walk into a 6FIGURE salary job with NO FORMAL qualifications for the jobs you are applying for... with NO TRACEABLE work history NO references NOTHING cos YOU think you deserve to earn that just cos you choose to sit at home stuffing your face while ignoring the bathroom other than using the toilet whilst MOM supports you financially and housing you at YOUR AGE... if i were her i would have you to the hospital for a mental health evaluation cos your seriously ain't wired right.... i am going to tell you what mommy is trying to without hurting your feelings....
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27. AITJ For Calling My Stepmom By Her First Name?

“My (16 f) mom died from cancer. My dad got remarried to another person and ended up having more kids. It was really hard on me but I tried (and am still trying) to be supportive because I guess he can replace his wife because people do that all the time but I can’t replace my mom.

I am not going to lie, it was very difficult to see her in my mom’s bed and using the cups my mom drank from, etc. even though it’s been a few years. It hurts my feelings when she participates in traditions my mom had with us because I personally don’t think she has a right, but I also don’t like celebrating any of her traditions and going to see her family which I guess makes it hard.

I don’t say anything about these things because what’s the point? My dad’s whole personality is different since he married her and had more kids so I have accepted I don’t have my dad either and have a countdown app on my phone for when I turn 18, so it feels like there is an end in sight

My dad and his wife are not abusive in any way but I still prefer to be elsewhere and don’t consider myself part of the family and slowly coming to terms with the fact that my dad did replace my mom and me but it’s okay because he still loves me.

It makes me really depressed to be around their kids because (please don’t think I am mean for saying this) siblings go through things together and the worst things that have happened to me are things they don’t know (mom dying, dad changing, dad getting remarried, etc.)

I told my dad and his wife that I would be very uncomfortable if the kids they had together grew up not knowing that I had a mom who died and that was my dealbreaker. I called my stepmom by her first name and my half-brother asked why I didn’t call her mom.

My half-sister said ‘Yeah she is your mom’. Then I told them that my mom was dead and their mom wasn’t my mom.

My stepmom did explain to them again and I get that they are young but they have been told so many times.

I ended up just leaving and driving to my grandma’s (mom’s mom) and texted my dad I would be there. My dad and his wife kept calling me and texting but I just turned off my phone and took a nap. My dad ended up coming to my grandma’s but I refused to see him.

My stepmom stopped by today too. So now I would like to know if I am being a jerk. I would like to tell my dad that he failed as a dad and a husband because he still is my dad and will always be my mom’s husband and to tell my stepmom that her presence makes me depressed but that would make me a jerk.”

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anma7 4 months ago
ESH... dad hasn't failed your mom has a husband cos SHE DIED.. he didn't leave her for his wife.. mom sadly died and he met and married his wife.... YES he has FAILED YOU, he has ignored your feelings and grief to make a wife for his wife and the other kids... STEPMOM sucks cos she too has ignored the fact you had boundaries that you WOULDN'T call her mom EVER and you wanted the half siblings to KNOW about BIO MOM... they haven't told them so they u derstand and it all came to a head when you told the half sibs nor too politely... ask grandma if you could possibly stay woth her tell her exactly how you feel exactly what you want from dad and if SHE will help you explain to him what YOU NEED from him as your dad... tell him you would rather stay with grandma cos at least that way mom's memory will stay alive and you and grandma can talk about her... tell him you love him but you are angry at him and his wife too for not respecting your memories of mom....
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26. AITJ For Refusing To Take In Our Niece For Our Peace Of Mind's Sake?

“My husband N (39 M) and I (38 F) live in a different city than our respective home, and in 2020, we decided to move back to his hometown because we were working from home full-time.

My SIL, the wife of his elder brother R (42 M), also died. So he moved in with my MIL (65 F) with his two kids, S (17 F) and P (15 M). R doesn’t contribute to bills or groceries so my MIL is taking care of everything from FIL’s pension and savings, and we help out often for larger expenses, like school fees, birthday parties, etc.

Once we reached his parental home, stayed there for a couple of months, but eventually bought a house and moved out 15 min car ride away.

Last month, we found out that S was sneaking out at night to meet an older guy, only because a family friend was returning home late and he saw her at 1 a.m. and brought her home.

They called us asking for a consultation. I didn’t go because I had an early work schedule the next day. At 5 am N was back with S and said S would stay with us as my MIL said she no longer can control her and her father doesn’t care.

I said okay but S had to behave. We found out that S has been rude and lying for months now but my MIL hides that from us. S behaved and helped me with housework and we set aside study time (it was a school holiday).

N and I discussed a long-term plan if we have to move back to our work city and how to manage her studies. I spoke with S a lot and explained to her that having a relationship at her age is not wrong and I don’t judge her, but sneaking out at night in an unsafe city and seeing a person we know nothing about is a huge break of trust. If she likes the guy we can meet him and approve as she is still a minor and it’s our responsibility to care for her.

Going out alone at night, anything can happen, and how scary that can be. S said she has no feeling for the guy and don’t want anything to do with him anymore. I told her to study and be more mature in her decisions.

3 days into it, MIL changed her mind and said she wanted her back and would manage. I understand that she is their guardian and can decide but her wording sounded like she doesn’t feel her safe with us. This was very awkward as we have been super nice to S and S actually opened up to me about her dead mother and father not being there anymore.

At this point, I told MIL that we would drop her off at her house but she also needs to understand that we will not be taking her responsibility again because this is not a solution sending her back and forth. Our own house dynamic had to change, N sleeping in the guest room because we couldn’t leave her alone at that time so she was sleeping with me in our bedroom (suspected of running away or worse).

Last week, we found out S was chatting with the guy again and N called me asking if he could bring her over. I said no. They can sort this out at home. N complied but was unhappy saying I was not helping out his family and leaving some passive-aggressive remarks in the passing.

AITJ for prioritizing our own peace of mind and household by not housing our niece?”

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anma7 4 months ago
NTJ.. tell Him the person he needs to be angry with IS HIS BROTHER!!! Yes he is grieving however he can't ABANDON his kids who are also grieving whilst his mom tries to deal with 2 kids a mooch for a son and she's dragging YOU AND HUBBY into it.... then when she realises you could be going back to work city mil demands the kid back which lasts a WEEK before she is talking to the older guy AGAIN whereas she wasn't doing anything at your home and was actually feeling cared for and opening up.. her granny takes her back and the only other person besides YOU and N who actually listened to her is the older guy!!! Granny ain't listening dad has checked out completely and her sibling is dealing with his own grief etc... your hubby needs to sit and talk to you and then to mom and brother and S to be honest cos at her age she surely has a say in where SHE wants to live and WHY... I get they ain't your kids but they need more help than mil is able to and or willing to give them.. do they stand to claim all mom's money and that's why granny wants them so bad ? These things need sorting and fast for the sake of those kids
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25. AITJ For Not Punishing My Daughter For Using My Wife's Hair Products?

“I (39) got married to my wife ‘Nelly’ (36) months ago. I have to say that Nelly and my daughter (her stepdaughter) ‘Megan’ (16) never got along. They have lots of disagreements and nothing in common and it was obvious since the first say they met but I didn’t do anything about it thinking they’d move past their differences and warm up to each other the longer they spent time together.

I was wrong because once we moved in together the fights got worse. Nelly would complain about Megan throwing away stuff of hers just because she thought it didn’t belong there. It’s been basically a mouse and cat game and I’ve lost track of who’s right and who’s wrong.

I did try to establish some boundaries to try to bring back peace to my home and had them agree that each stay in their own lane and not bother each other. Nelly said that I was wrong to think that what Megan was doing was okay but I told her to let it slide.

Nelly has special types of haircare products for her sensitive hair. Shampoo, conditioner etc, etc. She put them in the bathroom but Megan ended up throwing them away saying that Nelly had no right to store her products in the bathroom cause it was not her house.

To keep the peace I asked Nelly to just keep her stuff in the bedroom and take it with her whenever she wants to take a shower to which she agreed.

Last night Nelly took a shower and forgot her hair products in the bathroom.

Megan ended up going in there and then the shampoo collection was gone. Nelly freaked out and then had a fight after Megan told her she dumped them out saying she already warned her about leaving her stuff lying around in the bathroom. Nelly broke down and when I said I chose to stay out of this because of how petty it was, she blew up at me.

She yelled about how I keep letting Megan get away with a bad attitude and unjustified misbehavior. Told me to stop enabling her and start setting consequences for her actions. I told her she should have been more careful knowing how Megan is so I feel like this was preventable.

But she said that she forgot her stuff there and didn’t think Megan would go that far.

We had an argument and that was it. Megan is acting nonchalant despite me talking to her and Nelly went to stay with her parents saying I need to step up and do something.”

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anma7 4 months ago
NTJ.. either step up and parent your brat or do your poor wife a favour and divorce her citing your crappy parenting as grounds seeing how you have basicallyIGNORED THE FACT that your daughter hated your partner and then you have allowed your brat to treat your wife like jerk in a house YOU OWN and instead of making megan compromise too ie if nellys stuff is in the bathroom then just go put in inside our room door... but NO she repeatedly dumps it in the trash and you say NOTHING AT ALL...... megan will act nonchalant cos she KNOWS she can get away woth treating ANY WOMAN you get woth like crap and you will NEVER PUNISH her instead you tell her and the other adult tnat they are petty instead of BEING THE PARENT and setting megan straight.. no wonder newly left and went to her mom's she has finally realised all you want is a bed buddy who will accept being treated like a pile of dog crap by your 16 year old daughter.. you are a MORON grow up sort your kid out
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24. WIBTJ If I Buy My Own House?

“I (30 m) have been with my partner (26 f) for 5 years. During this time I have been the sole income for the unit we rent together.

She has been between jobs and making less than $20,000 per year the entire time. She has held jobs for 6 months to a year but it has been essentially retail for the entirety of our relationship. I work full time and make almost $100,000 per year with all the overtime and nightshifts I do.

During this time I have paid all the bills (rent, gas, water, electric, internet, and most of the grocery bills for the house). Occasionally she’ll have a good pay week and be able to send me anywhere between $50-$200 to help with bills but this only occurs a few times a year.

This used to frustrate me but at this point as long as her personal bills (phone, health insurance, etc) are paid and she doesn’t ask me for money too frequently I am perfectly happy with the situation as it is. Domestic duties such as cleaning are split pretty evenly between us as well and we cook our own meals.

Recently we have been talking about buying a house together and I have been saving up for the deposit for at least a year completely by myself. My parents have also kindly offered to match whatever I can save to make this process a lot easier.

While looking at homes with her I started to think it was unfair that I’d been working full time for years to get to this point where I’ll be able to make the largest investment of my life and that she wasn’t contributing at all and expecting to own half of it.

If I were to go forward with buying a house myself we would of course still live together and she’d have equal say in decoration/interior design choices and any work to be done to the property. I would also expect to maintain the same deal we have currently where she provides for her own finances and contributes whenever she is able to bills etc.

I love her a lot and expect to be with her forever but I am also extremely cautious, pessimistic, and worried that if we were to break up then we’d have to sell and split the property between us. However, I also recognize that if this were to happen way down the line she would be left with nothing which I would never want.

I came to ask here because I don’t want to discuss this with her if I am being totally irrational and selfish and not realizing it because I am in my own head.


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anma7 4 months ago
Make your mind up... she doesn't pay towards the house we rent but for a few times a year.. you have been busting your jerk for years to buy a property.. but she expects to have half ownership say in all renovations etc while paying NOTHING and you say this is acceptable... however YOUR parents are willing to match whatever you save which is good of them however do they know that she pays NOTHING at all towards these savings.. i am gonna say NO. Dude I get you love her however she is USING YOU... she doesn't want to work full time, she does t contribute yet you both split chores AS YOU SHOULD if both of you were splitting the financial burden you cook your own meals from groceries i think YOU PAY FOR too... but NOPE your being taken for a right ride... as long as she pays her personal bills and doesn't ask you for money TOO OFTEN that's ok but now your thinking gabout this after 5YEARS of being taken advantage of !!! Do you 2 share a room ??? A bed have jerk EVER!!! C9s I have a nasty feeling that she KNOWS how much you care about her but she DOES NOT feel the same about you... she knows your daft enough to buy the house put her name on it too pay for it all but she KNOWS if she walks you WILL either buy her out or sell said house so she gets some jerk for basically being g your room mate who she has jerk with occasionally.... have you met her family friends etc??
Honey please,ease think long and hard she's going to walk away with half the value of your house KNOWING she hasn't worked or contributed anywhere near the amount you and parents have.. does she have ANY savings ? You know she has no intention of getting a full time job or saving bur then she doesjnyhave to cos she has you just where she wants you.... but she needs to help pay for the house if she expects to benefit financially unless she suddenly becomes a SAHM and has a few kids and that's her job.. but then that's not her plan either it's NO KIDS LET HIM WORK HIS jerk OFF AND PAY FOR EVERYTHING while i do very little and when i have had enough i can walk away and get a wad of jerk.. while you scientists of sin end up back at parents starting all over again with possibly some jerk no home no roommate nothing... you deserve better than to be used this way... so i think you need to have a good long think before you let her take ownership half your home while paying pittance bit reaping all the rewards.... there is more to partner than you honestly know... she HASNT changed or had a proper full time job or gotten savings in 5YRS... and you both cook separate meals... you ain't in a relationship bud you have a roommate woth benefits and SHE KNOWS IT she is just biding her time til you own a property to take youto the cleaners sorry to say
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23. AITJ For Introducing My Stepfather To My Friends As My "Stepdad"?

“So recently, my stepdad took me to meet some friends, and when they asked who he was, I said ‘This is my stepdad.’ We all had a good time and when he picked me up, he was quiet. I knew this behavior, as when he gave me the silent treatment, that meant I did something wrong.

I didn’t know what I did, so I asked if everything was okay. Silence. I went to my room for the rest of the day, and the next day I asked him again. Silence. This silent treatment kept going, and the day after, I had enough.

I went up to my mom and asked what was wrong and what I did, to which she replied that he was upset because I told my friends that he was my stepdad, and because of that, he felt like I didn’t care about him.

I was so confused and a little upset.

As to why I was upset, for as long as I can remember, he’s called himself my father, and my mom has called him my father as well (yes, they both specifically use the term ‘father’). This irked me because my bio dad is still around and I love him and have a great relationship with him.

He has also done a lot more for me than my stepdad has. Almost everyone that they talk to knows him as my father, and when I say he’s my stepdad, they get confused. I’ve even told him and my mom before that he’s not my father, he’s my STEPfather.

I don’t know how to make it more clear.

Anyway, my mom said that he was basically like my father since ‘he has done so much for me’ and I should apologize. I told her no way, as he should know by now that he IS my stepdad, not my bio dad, and just because I call him my stepdad, that doesn’t mean I don’t care about him.

It wasn’t even out of malice either, just a casual introduction. I do feel a little guilty though, because after my mom and I talked, I guess she told him what I said and he started to cry. Other than that, I don’t think I am, but just for a second opinion, AITJ?”

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anma7 4 months ago
NTJ... they WANT him to be dad so over the years they have introduced him as such and their friends etc have never questioned it u till YOU tell said company THE TRUTH... he's your STEPdad not BIO as they are claiming... this is again THEIR WANTS being put above YOUR WANTS and NEEDS.. somshe has gone back said nope OP ismt gonna play our lying game and he's crying cos they haven't managed to convince you yet and he realises they NEVER WILL. I take it he has no bio kids of his own for whatever reason so he sees you as his.. but the warped thing is you see your dad they KNOW THIS he's not a deadbeat he's active and present IN YOUR LIFE!!! Yet they for some reason want you desperately to play into their dream and it ain't happening..... please don't feel guilty over him crying, he's hoping the guilt means tney get THEIR WANT met and you will suddenly start calling him father and introducing him as such playing along woth his game... god i hope you ain't needing someone to walk you if you ever get married cos mom and STEPdad are going to demand its his right not bio dad's right.... i don't know what to suggest other than is there a relative nearby that could be a neutral party and you could get them help you write them a letter stating how you feel about THEIR LIES and how it is only further damaging the relationship as you do care about him however he IS NOT your father/dad he is your step father and that is all he is seeing how bio dad is alive amd well and very present as they well KNOW... have you told bio about all this ? C9s that may well be my next stop if I were you... trusted relative, bio dad and everytime they introduce him as your father cough and say really you missed a word off there and you know it.. or go all out and lokk round saying where's dad I can't see him
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22. AITJ For Shaving My Head Because Of The Heat?

“My mom took a job in Texas last year and moved us from our home in Eugene, Oregon to Dallas. She says it is because we needed a new start after our dad died, but it’s more like she needed a new start.

She never asked us for our input. One day, she said we were moving to Texas and that was final.

The daily temperatures here have been over 100 degrees lately. Everything is hot, humid, stinking, and it sucks. My hair has taken the worst of it.

I have curly hair that doesn’t react well to heat or humidity and it’s been a tangled mess. Nothing seems to tame it. I never had this problem back in Oregon.

Yesterday, while mom was at work, I got fed up with trying to comb out my hair and instead got some clippers at Walmart and shaved my head.

Mom broke down crying when she saw my new hairstyle and screamed at me. What was I thinking doing that? People will think I am weird for having a bald head. I snapped back at her and said that I hated everything about it here, especially the heat and having to change my hair and my clothes to fit a place I couldn’t stand.

I told her this wouldn’t have happened had we stayed in Oregon. I hate it here, and I will gladly stay bald until I can go home.

The rest of our family, who think that mom uprooting us was not a good idea, disagree with me shaving my head.

They think I am being a jerk for making the move and adjustment period more difficult for her. I don’t care. At least I feel cooler and more comfortable without hair.

But I can hear her crying from the other room, so I am doubting myself if this is a good idea in the end.


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anma7 4 months ago
Oh and hide the clippers really well in case mom throws them away in case you do it again
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21. AITJ For Referring A Former Coworker To My New Company?

“I worked for a company for 7 years, starting at entry level. They paid for my degree and I got several promotions until I made middle management but then stagnated, passed up for an upper management position due to ‘lack of experience.’

I started looking for new jobs and found a GREAT one. Upper management, $50k pay raise, better benefits, more vacation, 100% work from home. Been at the new job for 18 months and absolutely happy.

Last month we had a team member take a promotion with another team and I was part of the hiring team for his replacement.

Interviewed 6 people, but no good fits. Dozens of resumes but nobody we’re interested in. My boss asks us, hey anybody know anyone in their networks that would be interested? They even dangled a $5000 referral bonus out.

I knew of a former coworker that was perfectly qualified for the role, and he was in a similar situation I was in where he had been passed up for promotions due to lack of experience.

I reached out and he was interested in interviewing.

Sure enough, he knocks the interview out of the park and we offer him the position. Same situation I was in, he got a huge raise, career advancement, etc. When he gave his notice to management they asked how he heard about the opportunity.

He truthfully told them that I had reached out to him.

Apparently, they are furious at me due to this, and I’ve officially burned every professional bridge with my old leadership group. Originally I just chaulked it up as sour grapes, thinking if they wanted to retain their talented young employees they could promote and pay them.

Also, it had been 18 months – not like I left and took coworkers with me.

Last week I brought this up with a friend, and he said the company was right to be angry, that I crossed a professional line, and you should never reach out to former coworkers unsolicited about leaving no matter what.

Is that true? Am I the jerk here?”

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anma7 4 months ago
HMMM ESH... you could have framed it as you and he were having a catch up he asked how the new job was going you told him n mentioned there was an opening he then said friend thinks you should never talk about work with ex Co workers.. maybe the new hire could have been a little more discreet and not mentioned your name and NOT mentioned you had reached out to him as yes it could be classed as poaching ex company's employees.. so while you aren't necessarily the jerk for offering the guy a chance to interview. And that he then smashed said interview based on his own merits. While that maybe true but in future maybe reach out privately and ask if X fancies a catch up and maybe drop hints that X company is currently hiring for Y position and interested parties should maybe contact Z person, but then tell said person that you would appreciate them NOT dropping your name to soon to be ex employer should they choose to leave said employer
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20. AITJ For Letting My Partner Be My Sons' Dad?

“I (25 f) have 2 boys (6 and 2). I’ve been with my partner for a year now.

Backstory for context. I was with my boys’ bio dad for 5 years until we of course broke up. My current partner and I got together a little while after. My 6-year-old is autistic and so is my partner.

My partner has been a massive help with both boys but especially my 6-year-old. My 6-year-old wasn’t eating because he was afraid of choking, he’s never choked, so my partner gave me suggestions based on his own experiences (It was special ‘juice’, banana milkshake, that stopped you from choking).

Over the last 2 days, my 6-year-old has eaten food that he was scared of! It might just be a muffin or garlic bread but I sobbed. I was very proud.

My 6-year-old wanted to tell his bio dad about his new food but the bio dad shrugged it off and said it wasn’t a big deal. My boy was absolutely crushed. We got into an argument about it and I ended the call.

My son’s bio dad doesn’t get autism, he thinks it’s him being naughty when I have the diagnosis and had to fight for ages to get it. He’s called the kids names, is just narcissistic in general and honestly it’s exhausting trying to get him to care.

After my 6-year-old was crying, my partner went to comfort him. This resulted in my son asking my partner if he could be his dad instead. My partner quickly steered the subject away into something my son liked and it was left there.

He does more than everything for my kids.

He shows genuine love and interest. He shows them off proudly as if they’re his own. I think he’d be a great dad. I said that to him, if my kids want it then it’s fine.

My ex found out about it and now his family is calling me, saying I am in the wrong, etc. But they know how bad my ex can be.

I wouldn’t ever want to take my kids away from their dad but I can’t stand them being emotionally neglected, especially when 1 of them has additional needs.

I am confused, help?”

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anma7 4 months ago
So NTJ.. but from 1 autism momma to another play it steady and try to keep exs family on side as much as possible whilst keeping the info you DONT want to get back to ex to a minimum in cSe its 1 of then that is passing thr info
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19. AITJ For Causing My Niece To Leave Home By Telling Her Our Family's Secret?

“I (35 f) had two older sisters growing up – ‘Jane’ and ‘Kim.’ Kim got sick and died but not before giving birth to my niece ‘Laura’ (18 f).

It had been a year after Kim’s passing when Jane and Laura’s dad ‘Tom’ (42 m) confessed to being together and were now engaged. Everyone was surprised but no one was vocally disgusted as me.

I accused them of having an affair. Jane and Tom explained that this wasn’t something that they planned, but there was no infidelity, and knew that Kim would want them to be happy.

Convenient since she’s, you know, dead. I did not attend the wedding and was upset at how everyone else was so accepting of the relationship, but the thing that hurt me the most was how Jane and Tom intended to completely erase Kim from Laura’s life.

She was barely 2 when Kim died, and they decided it would be better if Laura thought Jane was her mother in every sense of the word after the adoption was finalized.

Tom got rid of any items that would suggest he and Kim were ever in a relationship and made his family swear to never tell Laura the truth.

Jane expected everyone on our side of the family to do the same, but I refused and as such I was denied access to Laura. It hurt but when I thought about all those times Kim cried knowing that she wouldn’t live long enough to see Laura grow up there was just no way I could honor the lie.

They even had Laura’s name legally changed to something that Jane liked as Kim picked out Laura’s first name. I distanced myself from my family over time over this but my parents always tried to get us to reconcile, citing that they didn’t like this arrangement either but accepting it was better than not being a part of Laura’s life at all.

I just couldn’t do it.

Growing up Laura had known of me but we never really interacted. Apparently, she’s interested in studying a field that I work in and reached out to me through social media. The last time I saw her in person she was 7 and I started to tear up at how much she looked like Kim.

We would talk from time to time and eventually, Laura asked why I wasn’t around. I tried to keep it vague but Laura knew that there was more to the story as I didn’t seem like the person I was described to be.

If we had been talking through DMs like before I probably wouldn’t have done it but we were video chatting and something about looking directly into her eyes broke me and I confessed to everything.

Before Kim died she and I made a series of videos for Laura to watch at her big moments and I told her that if she ever wanted to watch any of them I’d send them. Laura asked me to send some and then I heard nothing from her for days.

Recently I got a call from an enraged Jane and Tom berating me for ruining their family. After Laura watched some of the videos she confronted my parents who confirmed everything. Laura has moved out and currently not speaking to anyone and no one knows where she is right now.

Everyone is angry at me. AITJ?


1. My parents talked about Kim and had pictures of her in the house so Laura knew who she was, she just didn’t know that Kim gave birth to her.

2. My parents only went along with it because Tom and Jane threatened NC unless they did.

I am upset with what they did but I understand why they did it so that’s why I still talk to them.

3. When I said that the last time I saw Laura in person when she was 7 it was in a brief passing. I was coming to visit my parents’ house and watched her get in the car as I was pulling up to the driveway.

I didn’t actually speak to her.

4. During the last few weeks of her life Kim and I made a series of videos together so that Kim could leave special messages for Laura for important events. Kim also wrote letters for Laura too. Tom got rid of all the letters and got rid of all the final cuts and backups of the videos but I still had copies that he didn’t know about.

I honestly forgot about them too and only found them when I was moving and saw them in a small box.

5. Jane and Tom had two (bio) children together.

6. Unless they changed their minds Jane and Tom had every intention of never telling Laura and didn’t think it was a big deal since the family medical history would still be the same.”

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anma7 4 months ago
ESH.. you slightly cos you blew up that girls world over a video call!! Not even in person then left her to deal woth any fall out you must have KNOWN she would confront the family... so now she doesn't know WHO she can really trust seeing how her parents AND grandparents have lied to her all her life and she must feel so alone now... if you have her on SM reach out to her friends from school on there jesus contact anyone who may know where she she is currently hiding let her know YOU NEVER wanted to lie to her and you are so sorry you did but you kept the videos safe and secret from dad.. get hold of YOUR parents ask them for updates... oh and you didn't cause her to leave home THEIR LIES DID... but the most important thing isn't playing the blame game it's finding that poor girl and fast
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18. AITJ For Walking Out Of Family Dinner After Seeing The Dog My Sister Was Giving To Our Grandma?

“A few days ago my (21 M) grandparents had called a family meeting. They requested all of their children and their grandchildren. Now I was informed it was for us to wish my grandfather goodbye, as no one knew that he had a mental illness and he wanted to pull the plug as he just couldn’t take it anymore.

Now how does this include my dog in any way?

Well, a couple of years ago my brown Labrador died from cancer. Anyway, my mum and dad had asked both me and my sister to consider getting a gift. I got my grandfather’s old photos from back in the day printed out in color so my grandmother could see him in his former glory back when he wasn’t sick.

But my sister ended up getting my grandmother a dog for her so she could have company when grandpa died, ‘Very cute,’ I said until she pulled out the box. She got her a brown Labrador – a spitting image of mine – and all of a sudden all the memories came flooding back of him I nearly started crying.

As she handed the dog to Grandma she said, ‘Let’s hope this one doesn’t get cancer, like someone else’s,’ then she just looked at me dead in the eyes as if she knew what she had said would break me. I just got up and said, ‘Screw you.’ And left in the car I could barely see as my eyes were tearing up.

I got home to 3 missed calls from my mum and texted me to come back as she thought I overreacted and my sister texted me saying ‘It happened ages ago. Get over it. Stop being a baby.’ As if she knew what it was like to lose your best friend – someone who was there for me when no one else was.

Now I feel bad for leaving grandma and grandpa like that but I couldn’t force myself to go back and see my sister’s face.


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anma7 4 months ago
SOFT YTJ.... grandpa is DYING... yes sister is a MASSIVE JERK for doing what she did where she did KNOWING it would upset you. I get it your childhood popper died but honey honestly EVERY brown lab looks identical!!! are you goinh to breakdown and cry and run off EVERYTIME you see 1 ? I think you need to concentrate on GRANDPARENTS right now, grandma is likely to need help with said pup seeing how sister ain't used her brains in ANY WAY and has bought a puppy for while granny is grieving!!!! Really it's going to need alot of attention and while the thought was nice the practical aspect could be the 1 thing that sends grandma over the edge.. are your parents so stupid they allowed sister to get said dog wothpiutanyones input AT ALL.. is grandma well enough in herself to walk it, train it etc it's not a flipping lap dog is it. Go see grandparents ASAP when you KNOW sister wint be there help them with the dog and ignore sister she's clearly a moron
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17. AITJ For Reporting My Mom To Adult Protective Services While I Was Getting My Hair Done?

“I (19) depend on my mother (39) & my soon-to-be stepfather (40s).

I am disabled and always have been. I am autistic and have ADHD, with major depressive disorder & social anxiety.

I am fairly certain I have PTSD & childhood amnesia but have not been diagnosed. I am also hypoglycemic & have low blood pressure, along with sciatica. I try my best to do everything I am asked (I went outside just an hour ago to clean the gutter) & frequently remind them that if they want me to do more chores they need to just ask & I’ll try to do them.

Currently, I just empty the dishwasher, take in the trash bins, & clean the litter boxes, but I’ve also offered to cook meals, do housework, pay rent, etc. which they refused.

The whole year I’ve been here has been awful. Recently, an argument with them ended up with me crying & begging Mom to back away & leave me alone over & over.

She followed me onto my bed & kept grabbing at me until I had to kick her away several times. She said it was because she wanted to hug me, which I didn’t want her to do.

Last night, my soon-to-be stepfather  & I got into a fight.

I’ve been behind on my college work & he was saying that my executive dysfunction was a self-fulfilling prophecy & I ‘just had to do stuff.’ When I tried explaining that’s not how it works he went into a rant about how I am sooo special & I just need to work through it & I got mad.

Later that night, Mom decided to cut off internet time so I would only be ‘allowed’ to do homework for the majority I was on the web. Weird to do to an adult, but I can deal with that. She then said I am just not trying, & we ended up fighting again because I was ‘using my autism as an excuse’ & ‘not actually disabled.’ That fight went on for a while until I left the room, & a minute later she hit my door hard enough to bend it inward a solid inch.

She ended up asking me who I thought the problem was, & I don’t like lying, so I told her I think it’s her. She got mad & shut off the internet for me entirely despite the fact that’s where the homework is.

This is not the first time. She’s previously cut me off from my friends & support system twice; once because I was up too late for her liking; and twice because I didn’t go get dinner when I wasn’t hungry. I think this is weird & controlling to do to an adult, even if she does pay for the internet, (this, too, angered her.)

Everything that led up to this point (I have many more stories) hit pretty bad & I called APS in tears trying to just find some way out. I made a plan to just duck my head until I could leave, so I went to a hair appointment Mom had scheduled for me to avoid making her mad.

It ended up being expensive, & I would have refused if I knew how much it was going to be. APS then contacted her about my report a bit ago, & now she’s mad at me anyway for being ‘happy to go get my hair done when I called APS’ (I wasn’t & didn’t even really want to do it.

THEY wanted ME to get my hair cut.) I offered to pay them back for the hair & they refused. AITJ?”

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anma7 4 months ago
NTJ.. however are APS going to help you ? Maybe you need to record mom and stepdad yelling at you etc the next time they do then call APS again and play the recording also tell them about everything and ask them to help you get out please
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16. AITJ For Not Inviting My Brother To My Wedding?

“I (28 M) am getting married to my fiancé (29 M) in August. We have been planning this wedding for a long time, and my fiancé has made it very abundantly clear that our wedding is a very important day to him, and that he wants it to be perfect.

I have not spoken to most of my family for almost 4 years. My father disowned me after finding out I was gay and has refused to invite me to any family events or gatherings since- and most of my extended family is similarly conservative. My 2 older brothers both initially agreed with my dad and refused to talk to me, but recently my eldest brother (32 M) has made an effort to reach out and reconcile with me.

He’s talked to me about how much he misses me, and we’ve gone out to lunch a few times. He still isn’t perfect; he occasionally makes weird bigoted remarks that I don’t think he realizes are bigoted. But, he clearly does want to improve and reunite with me.

He’s also never met my fiancé because I don’t want my brother to upset him. (My fiancé is a bit more liberal than me, and would take more offense to comments that my brother makes. I don’t want their relationship to be strained forever, so I am taking it slow.)

However, when we started planning our wedding and sending out invitations, my brother was outraged to not receive one. He knew that I was engaged but had never taken much interest in prying into my romantic life, so I didn’t think he would be interested in attending.

But he made it very clear to me, that he wants to be there to see me get married. He is a very traditional person, and the idea of missing his younger brother’s wedding really upset him.

My brother is upset because he made an effort to be a part of my life again and I am ‘blocking him out’.

It’s not that I don’t want him to attend, I just don’t think he’s ready to see that side of my life – especially on my wedding day. This is a very important day to my fiancé and I don’t want any chance of it not being perfect.

Am I the jerk?”

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anma7 4 months ago
ESH.. so he makes bigoted remarks that he claims he doesn't know are bigotry.. but he wants an invite to your wedding where i assume you and fiancé's GAY friends will be ? Yeah I get the hesitation.. however has he mentioned the rest of the family at all ? As in is there a chance he could 'accidentally' let the news of the wedding and locations etc out and they all turn up enmasse.. cos if there is then yeah NOPE that is not gonna make for a good day it will definitely make it memorable for all the WRONG REASONS... maybe sit with brother explain about the guest list ask if he has any intentions of telling the extended family who CUT YOU OFF any of the details as if they happen to find out and turn up tell him you WILL have the police called... if he can agree that only he has the details and attends AND he can meet with fiance soon and NOT MAKE 1 bigoted comment towards partner the yes you would like for him to come but you DO NOT want your wedding turning into a spectacle due to the family... i think you should give him your RULES and if he can agree tell him you will give him the details but 1 hint of father etc turning up then the police will be called and he will be back to cut off permanently this time
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15. AITJ For Being Angry At My Stepsister And Stepmom After My Stepsister Broke My Ceramic Turtle?

“My stepsister, Anna (F 23), and I (F 22) don’t get along. She decided she hated me as soon as our parents started going out. Once, she even started a rumor that I clogged the toilet,  which led to my peers mocking me relentlessly for months.

I complained to my dad, but he told me we needed to work things out because he didn’t want to risk his marriage.

When I was 19, I got my first significant other, Chris. I loved him so much. He was the first person in years who made me feel like I was a priority.

He even surprised me with a ceramic turtle that he made himself for my 20th birthday.

Anna was VERY nasty about Chris. I couldn’t even talk about him because she would annoy me whenever I did. I am not even sure what her issue was.

For the most part, I just tried to ignore her and kept telling myself that as soon as I was able, Chris and I could find a place of our own together and I would finally be away from Anna for good. I know it probably wasn’t a smart idea to be dreaming about stuff like that, but as I said before, I really loved him.

Six months ago, Chris passed away. I don’t want to get into detail about what happened because thinking about it still hurts, but I will say that it was unexpected.

When he died, that was honestly the worst day of my life. I could barely eat or sleep for weeks, I lost the job that I had just started because I couldn’t bring myself to go to work, and my grades in my college classes took a nosedive.

Maybe this is dramatic, but it felt as though the entire world had turned against me. I lost the first person who made me feel good about myself since the marriage. My dad got me into therapy about a month after Chris died, and I feel as if my life is finally starting to get back on track again.

I still haven’t talked to any of Chris’ family since he died, though. I feel terrible, but honestly, I just don’t know if I am ready to handle it right now.

Two days ago, I was out on a walk. I was gone for about an hour, and when I came back, I found out that Anna had broken my turtle.

There were enough small pieces that it couldn’t be glued together. Apparently, she went into my room to borrow a book and accidentally knocked it off the shelf.

I LOST it. I screamed at Anna, calling her every awful name I could think of, and said that I hoped she died alone.

Anna and stepmom both said that I was overreacting, and I told them that I understood why Anna’s dad left them. I packed a bag and left to stay with a friend, and when my dad called to ask me to come back, I told him that as long as Anna and stepmom were there, I wasn’t coming back, not for him.

Today, I’ve been getting several texts and calls from other relatives basically saying that I am awful for the way I spoke to Anna and stepmom. I explained my side of things, but they told me that I was being abusive and that I owed them an apology.

I don’t know what to think, so that’s why I am here.

AITJ for yelling at Anna and stepmom?”

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anma7 4 months ago
NTJ.. tel, them exactly how she and parents have treated you since the day they got together that she deliberately belittles you publicly hated chris and purposely broke some thing she KNOWS meant alot to you seeing how Chris bought it and then that it was broken beyond repair to the point you KNOW it was deliberate so it's ok for them to abuse you verbally and emotionally but you can lash out ONCE when they all know you are grieving.. if you have somewhere else to stay i would stay away and block family until YOU are ready to speak to them and then i would make sure its ONLY DAD ALONE... you don't mention mom or her family is there a chance you can reach put to them for help.. and check woth your therapist you can still attend if dadnis paying he could well have cancelled sessions to force you to go back
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14. AITJ For Not Giving One Of My Extra Tickets To My Friend's Friend?

“A couple of weeks ago I won 4 concert tickets for a concert in June. I invited my friend ‘Elle’ because I knew she liked the singer too. She asked who else I was bringing and I said that I didn’t know yet. She said, ‘We should invite Penny she really likes them’.

I said ‘Eh I don’t think so. She and I aren’t exactly friends’. She said ‘Oh come on give her a chance if you got to know her you’d like her’. I said, ‘Maybe true, but I don’t want to give her a $80 concert ticket’.

Penny is Elle’s friend. I’ve met/hung out with her several times with Elle and don’t really like her. She usually spends the entire time talking about how she and Elle have been friends since they were 5, bringing up inside jokes and reminiscing about old times.

It really seems like she does it intentionally so other people are left out of the conversation.

Yesterday, Elle and I were texting and I told her who I decided to give the other tickets to. She said ‘Two other people? That’s all four tickets then, I thought you were giving one to Penny.’ I said ‘No, you suggested it and I said no’.

She said, ‘You said you’d think about it, so I told Penny since you seemed like you were looking for people to go’. I said ‘I already said I wasn’t giving her a ticket, you’ll have to deal with that now.’ She said, ‘Well did you actually invite (other 2 people’s names) because if you didn’t she could still come’.

I said, ‘You know what how about you don’t come, I’ll find a 3rd person to bring instead’. She said, ‘Wow that’s nice, taking back a ticket’. I still have the tickets.

I didn’t think I did anything wrong since she was ignoring my no, but then when I was venting to my mom she said that I shouldn’t of uninvited her because it could have been an honest misunderstanding.

She said you can’t just take back an invitation like that.


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anma7 4 months ago
MTJ.. tell mom it's not an honest misunderstanding at all and you KNOW it's not.. you told her NO she then asked again and you told her you didn't want to give her an $80 ticket and she knows it.. so she thinks by pressuring you you will back down.. tell mom you really don't like penny and don't enjoy hanging out with her so why would you want to spend the night with someone you dislike... tell mom your not taking back an invitation cos YOU DIDNT invite her ELLE did behind your back... you have invited 2 others and elle expects you to take an invite back just so HER FRIEND can go instead of 1 of YOUR FRIENDS
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13. AITJ For Not Wanting To Take A Shower During A Thunderstorm?

“I (25 F) have been with my partner ‘Mark’ (31 M) for about 3 months.

I wouldn’t say we’re long-distance, but we don’t live in the same city. The drive to each other is a little less than an hour though so we still get to go on dates and see each other in person quite often, mostly on weekends.

A couple of weeks ago, I was going to spend the night at his place. It was going to be our first time spending the night together, and we were both looking forward to it. We haven’t slept together yet, and it was glaringly obvious that was what was going to happen.

Now, I make some side money singing, and I had a gig before going over to his place. It ended up storming pretty badly. The storm originally wasn’t supposed to hit us, but weather is a fickle thing sometimes and we ended up getting a surprise thunderstorm.

I was not dressed for the weather and didn’t have an umbrella, but the show went on. After the show I helped pack things up and ended up getting absolutely soaked and kind of gross before going over to Mark’s place.

I was exhausted and gross and sopping wet when I got there, but it was still thundering out so I refused to take a shower and asked for a towel instead.

I’ve always been taught it’s dangerous to shower during a thunderstorm because you could get electrocuted and die. Mark seemed to have never heard of that and said it wouldn’t be a big deal. I should take a shower and he’d make something quick for me to eat since I’d come straight to his, and then we could go to bed. I refused and it turned into a little spat.

He seemed to think I was making a big deal out of nothing and said it was gross to expect him to sleep next to me if I hadn’t showered. I’d brought a change of clothes to sleep in that were dry and could towel off, but said I could sleep on his couch if I was still too gross after toweling off and changing.

I did end up sleeping on the couch. I woke up feeling better, took a shower, and went home. He was still annoyed with me. He’d said he’d really been looking forward to spending some time with me and I was being stubborn and not caring about his feelings over a stupid shower.

I didn’t apologize because I thought it was perfectly acceptable to not want to die of electrocution but told him I’d like to come spend the night another weekend if he still wanted to. We haven’t had another opportunity yet because we’ve both had big events the last couple of weekends (a wedding and an out-of-town gig) but I am going to try to schedule for this upcoming weekend and I want to know if I need to extend an apology as well when I do.”

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Ishouldntbehere2 2 months ago
NJH. He didn't want to sleep with you while you were gross and you didn't want to shower so you slept on the couch. Aside from the fact that neither of you could see the other's perspectives (both of which I think are dumb and petty) you ended up with an appropriate compromise. No apologies necessary unless you said things you regret. It isn't true by the way, unless your shower is outside you are not going to get electrocuted during a storm. That doesn't mean a partner of 3 months couldn't be a little more understanding of something you are irrationally afraid of.
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12. AITJ For Being Disgusted About Feeding Our Baby With Other People's Breast Milk?

“My (31 M) wife (27 F) and I lost our first child four years ago to SIDS (sudden infant death syndrome). My wife never understood how that could be a thing and blamed it on the formula she was using.

She tried breastfeeding but could never produce enough so she switched to formula. Our little guy had a pretty sensitive stomach so we tried nearly every formula, we finally found one that worked for him but unfortunately at 22 days old SIDS took him from us.

My wife is still I am therapy for this.

Now we’ve welcomed our second child, also a boy. My wife always said she wasn’t ready for another kid any time I asked, so it goes without saying that he wasn’t planned.

During the pregnancy, my wife only ate organic, nothing processed, no soda or coffee, and it was mostly raw veggies.

She looked into what would make her produce more breast milk and tried to eat lots of things on that list.

After our son was born she wouldn’t let anybody come to the house, she made me shower and wash up before I even got to see my son because she didn’t want outside germs inside.

She’s become obsessive with trying to keep our son from everything.

One day I go to make him a bottle and can’t find the formula, so I ask my wife. (this is the first bottle I would’ve made for him, my wife felt safer doing it herself) She said to use the little bags of milk in the freezer and explained the whole de-thawing and warming process because she got rid of our microwave so I had to heat water on the stove.

I asked her if she was able to produce now and why she didn’t just breastfeed him, she said she wasn’t able to, her friend produces too much for her two kids to be able to use so she gives some to my wife every week or so.

I was disgusted. I told her it was nasty to use breast milk that wasn’t hers, we don’t know if this woman has diseases or anything. She assured me that it was safe and she asked her friend list of questions before, but I was having none of it.

I took the breast milk out of the freezer and threw it away, I poured the water I had just heated onto it as well.

I left to go buy some formula and when I got back my wife and son were gone. After many many many calls, she texted me and said they would be staying at her parents’ for the time being.

I told my friend about it and his partner told me I was a massive jerk and many other colorful words. I do feel bad, but I don’t want my son drinking a random woman’s milk.”

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Ishouldntbehere2 2 months ago
YTJ. She is making a slightly uninformed decision based on an irrational fear that formula killed her baby. It is more than likely that the breast milk is perfectly safe, I'm sure she wouldn't have accepted it if she doesn't trust her nursing friend to disclose her diet and medication choices. You should NOT have thrown it out without first discussing this with your wife, the one who is at home with the baby and the one who was most affected by the loss of your first baby. While she should have discussed it with you too, she is currently suffering from PTSD and likely PPD and is basically just in survival mode. Throwing out her baby's food was a dumb idea, mumma bear now doesn't feel safe in her own home.
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11. AITJ For Asking My Coworker To Take Down Her "Rebranded" Office Stuff?

“I work in an office with Olga (20s F) and Jesse (20s NB). Olga and Jesse have a lot of bad blood that sort of boiled to the surface in the last year or so.

Olga is not feminine at all.

She likes to wear bespoke suits, keeps her hair in a pixie cut, and typically uses more men-inspired things. You would never catch her dead with anything pink or sparkly on her person. Jesse took this to mean that Olga isn’t heteronormative and is either non-binary or trans.

Olga has made it clear that she doesn’t ID herself as such and gets really angry whenever Jesse brings it up.

In the last few months, Jesse started calling Olga by a more ‘masculine’ version of her name (let’s say Oleg). This really set Olga off and she would shut down anyone who would dare call her ‘Oleg’.

It got to the point where she started ‘branding’ her cubicle as being a strictly Olga space. I mean, everything in her office has her name on it. Her stationary reads ‘from the desk of Olga’. Her pens have her name on them. She has coffee cups, wall prints, plaques, and even her jelly bean jar has her name branded on it.

It was funny at first, but kind of looks a little obnoxious compared to everyone else. Like when you see it, every inch of space seems to be branded with her name.

Well, due to some stuff relating to harassing Olga (and some other people) and some other unrelated issues, Jesse was fired last month.

Since then, Olga still hasn’t taken down any of her personalized cubicle stuff. Earlier this week, I met up with her in the office break room and we got to talking. She’s been happy that Jesse is gone. And I brought up, ‘So, now that Jesse is gone, don’t you think it’s time to take down some of your ‘Olga’ stuff?

It’s looking kind of obnoxious.’

Olga told me to shove it and has been ignoring me since then. My coworkers heard what was going on and thought that I overstepped our boundaries. Even though they also thought her choice of office decor was obnoxious too.

Like, we get it, your name is Olga. No need to have it all out in the open anymore now that Jesse is gone.

My coworkers still think that it was out of line for me and to keep my mouth shut. But let’s be real here, everyone thinks her cubicle is becoming an eyesore.

We miss that ‘James Bond/bespoke British’ aesthetic she had before.


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anma7 4 months ago
NTJ.. perse but unless younare her supervisor then it's up to her boss to ask hee to remove it seeing how she used it to get her point across seeing how jesse targeted her and others.. she has been dealt with and is now gone.. so maybe your boss needs to address it however it is HER workspace and she can basically put whatever she wants in it as long as it's not offense or slurs i guess.. so although NTj you need to fund a higher up to deal with it
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10. AITJ For Ignoring And Not Accepting My Mom's Apology?

“My partner (26) and I (22) have a 4-month-old baby. We were supposed to celebrate my birthday this weekend. I couldn’t celebrate my 21st because the global crisis hit and everything shut down. For my 22nd I had talked for years about how I wanted to go all out because I am born on the 22nd, I had spoken to my mom months prior that I wanted a huge party and I’d pay for everything including decorations, and food but if she could just organize it.

She said sure. I kept reminding her and 3 days prior to my birthday she asked if I still wanted to celebrate. I immediately canceled everything because she wanted to leave everything last minute. My partner felt so bad so this year for my 23rd he wanted to take control.

He wanted to travel 3 hours away to somewhere special. I declined because I didn’t want to be far from the baby. The baby would have to stay with my mom.

My mom makes it seem like I am a helicopter parent but I just want things done my way.

What I ask for isn’t unreasonable. All I ask is for her to let me know the times of her diaper changes, feedings, how much she ate, and the times of her naps.

Fast forward to my birthday weekend, my partner and I decided to stay local but have her watch the baby just for a few hours.

I told my mom my rules and she made the comment ‘When she’s with me, we do things the way I want to do them.’ I checked her real quick and told her the baby wouldn’t be staying here and we’d gladly leave.

I don’t care how many children she’s had. They all turned out terrible but she will follow my rules or she won’t stay. I know it sounds harsh but we don’t have the best relationship and my mom tries to crap on my parenting style.

She also has an issue that my baby takes breast milk and not formula.

Anyway, 2 hours after I left I called my sister to see how everything was going. All I hear is crying and screaming. I panic asking where is my mom and what’s wrong with the baby.

My sister was struggling with my nephew who is just a toddler and the baby who needed a diaper change and a nap. She said my mom had been at the store for the past hour and a half. I have horrible anxiety and while I love my sister, I didn’t leave her in charge nor did I want to overwhelm her.

My mom didn’t let me know at all. I didn’t say anything, canceled my plans for the evening, picked up my baby, and left. I got a one-word text from my mom – ‘Sorry’. I found out from my sister that she was explaining she didn’t mean for her errands to take long and why I had to take her.

The following day she sends a voice memo apologizing and giving excuses. I have not responded and my partner and I spoke and decided we will no longer have her watch our baby.”

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anma7 4 months ago
NTJ... but honestly do you have these rules for everyone who watches baby girl.. ie a comprehensive breakdown of feed amounts, times of diapers changed nap length the lot really ?? Why ? Do you seriously not trust ANYONE with her or just mom. I get mom agreed to watch her then left her home woth sister plus another baby too which was obviously WAY too much.. she KNEW she had the baby why not run her errands the day before.. oh and you realise that when you made the comment about not caring how many kids mom had they all turned out terrible.. does that include you or is the list of rules BECAUSE of mom's crappy parenting you feel the need to have EVERYTHING documented kind of like you want proof/evidence that she's being cared for.. honey are you worried that CPS will come in and question your parenting ? If that's the case I suggest you stop leaving her woth mom PERIOD, find someone who you TRUST 100% are you the same with partners mom? Cos I think you are terrified of being accused of being a crappy parent like your mom was with you and siblings ? If its the latter I respectfully suggest you get some therapy cos you have some serious issues stemming from mom and your upbringing
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9. AITJ For Asking About My Sister's Pronouns?

“Last night my (22 F) sister (19F) came out to me and said she was a lesbian.

I told her that was great, I was proud of her, and we talked for a little bit about whether she was seeing anyone (yes) and for how long and it was just so nice to see her so happy! I had suspected for a while that she might not be interested in men – she’d had some guy friends that I knew about growing up but none of them ever seemed like romantic possibilities, if that makes sense.

And then I thought about the other changes I’d seen in her recently – she’s cut her hair short when it was always long as a kid, she fought our mom about wearing a dress to the Christmas Eve service and wore pants instead, stuff like that.

She’s always been sporty but still did feminine stuff. So I thought there might be more to tell me than the gay thing, so I asked what her pronouns were, and she got mad.

She asked why I was asking so I told her the things I’d noticed and I just wanted her to feel like she could be comfortable and tell me anything.

She looked really upset and said that it had been hard for her to tell me this (we grew up very involved in church things and our parents are conservative, so I can imagine how terrifying it must’ve been) and that her pronouns had nothing to do with what she’d said.

She said it was a crappy thing to ask when she was being vulnerable. I was confused because I am pretty sure you’re supposed to ask for pronouns, like as the polite thing to do but I’ll be the first to admit I don’t know much about the queer community.

She said her pronouns hadn’t changed and wouldn’t change and that just because she didn’t want to be girly didn’t mean she wasn’t a girl.

I couldn’t get the mood back to where it had been before I asked, so I left. Now I am wondering if I was being an unintentional jerk for asking about her pronouns or if she was just lashing out for some reason.


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rbleah 4 months ago
With what is going on these days I too might have asked. Better safe than jerk somebody off cause I am not a mind reader.
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8. AITJ For Being Mad At My Wife For Inviting Her Friends To Our Lunch Date?

“My wife and I were supposed to have a lunch date today to celebrate that she just got a job. We had a baby 6 months ago and moved houses, so finances have been pretty tight lately, but this month we finally made it over the hill and things started to look up.

My wife got a job and will start working by April so we decided to go out and have lunch at our favorite place. I was kinda excited because it was the first time in 4 months.

10 minutes after we got there my wife’s friends showed up and then they were speaking their native language the entire time even though all of them speak English.

Some even are Swedish yet they don’t do it for some reason so I was kinda annoyed throughout lunch and snapped at my wife in front of her friends. I didn’t yell or make a scene but I made it clear that I was mad and very unhappy about the entire situation.

When we got home my wife was mad at me for being disrespectful to her and embarrassing her in front of her friends who helped her get her new job, so I asked why her friends were even there. It was supposed to be our day – lunch and some window shopping – but it turned into her having lunch with her friends and I got to sit by myself the entire time.

She hasn’t talked to me for a while and wants me to apologize to her. So AITJ for being mad at my wife for inviting her friends to our lunch date?”

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anma7 4 months ago
NTJ.. younand she haven't been able to afford a lunch date so to celebrate the new job you decided on a lunch DATE for the pair of you which she changed BEHIND YOUR BACK to include her friends and then they proceeed to ignore you... maybe make it clear.. YES they helped you get the job however today was about US as a couple celebrating plus having a well deserved long OVERDUE DATE... if she had wanted to go celebrate woth her friends that's more than fine however she SHOULD have set up a separate day and time and you could have watched KIDDO while she and the girls celebrated sans YOU AND KIDDO... so maybe rather than apologising tell her that you are sorry that today's plans were not communicated as a COUPLES DATE next time you will ensure it is. Then leave it be
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7. AITJ For Not Wanting My Brother-In-Law Around When I Meet Boys?

“I am a Punjabi Canadian (born in Surrey to immigrant parents). My sister died a few years ago and she had two kids with my BIL and since she died, I’ve been helping him out with them and all.

I have feelings for them and I thought he did for me too, but last August he tied a Rakhri (a brother promises to look out for his sister and in return, a sister prays for the well-being of her brother) on me for the Rakhi celebration (a Hindu festival celebrating the bond between siblings and families, often called Brother and Sister Day) – to put it in simple terms he sister-zoned me.

With that out of the way, I’ve been trying to lose my feelings for him and this month I finally agreed to let my parents introduce me to boys to arrange an engagement. Like just to get over the fact that he’s not into me and to hopefully date and then fall for somebody who is.

So on Saturday, my parents introduced me to a guy and his family was there and my family was too and that included my BIL for some reason. My parents and this guy’s parents were nice and all, and he seemed like a good guy.

I’d liked to have gotten to know him more but my BIL was acting more inquisitive to him than even my brother. He was clearly uncomfortable but I couldn’t just say anything cause we didn’t get the chance to talk alone cause of my BIL.

Needless to say, it didn’t go anywhere. It kinda annoyed me that he pretty much ruined any chance I had of going out with this guy.

My parents want me to meet with another guy next week and I agreed but I made it clear that my BIL could not be there.

This started an argument with my parents who said he needed to be there on behalf of my sister, that he’s like my big brother too, and this and that. I understand where they’re coming from because in things like this, it is kind of important to show your whole family and I get that I might be the jerk over this.”

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anma7 4 months ago
NTJ.. however unless you come clean to HIM and family that you were hoping YOU could be with him as his next wife and therefore had developed feelings for him which he obviously doesn't return hence the RAKHRI... i think he had/has NO CLUE you have feelings for him hence the reason he is there representing SISTER... you are either really young or want your sisters life THAT BADLY that you are either ignoring the fact HE LOVED SISTER not YOU and that he NEVER EVEN SAW YOU that way EVER.. he possibly thought you were more an annoying little sister who wanted to be around him and his late wife and kids... but nope.... you either have to admit your feelings amd risk the family hating you or you need to get over this rapidly and move on cos you will never replace his wife
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6. AITJ For Not Letting My Significant Other To Take My Car To His School?

“So I (16 F) just bought a car, like 3 weeks ago. I spent 1.8 million(isk) on it, which is roughly 14.5k$, and I’ve been saving up funds to buy a car.

I’ve always wanted a car since I was just a little girl and saved every Christmas money, birthday money, and money I got from work (I have two jobs). Anyway, my significant other (18 M) is in a school that’s like 8 minutes away from mine and he always wants to take my car to his school so he doesn’t have to take a 10-minute bus.

The school he’s in doesn’t even have a parking lot, it’s just like a 30m² space that everyone fills up with their cars so there’s a high chance that your car is going to get scratched. There are no ‘parking spaces,’ just that one 30m² space and a bunch of cars in that 30m² space with no space at all between them so it’s a really high risk your car gets scratched.

Once he took his parents’ car there and it got scratched. So when I got the car I told him I didn’t want him taking it there because it’s my new car and I spent almost all of my money on it and I don’t want him taking my car there in the fear of it getting scratched. The fuel cost is also something I pay for and keeps on spending it on himself driving to his school because he doesn’t want to take a 10-minute bus ride.

And every time I bring it up, he says I am selfish and unfair and often takes the car anyway.

I’ve also told him that if his school is the one that is closer, I would be fine with taking a 10-minute bus to my school, if it was the other way around I would be completely fine with it.

Am I the jerk for not wanting my SO to take my new car to his school?”

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mappster 4 months ago
Break up with him! It's your car. Is he on your insurance? If something happens will you be left will the bill. Girl, he has no business driving your car.
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5. AITJ For Quitting One Of My Jobs?

“I (m 30) started a new job a couple of months ago. It’s for a way bigger company and pays much more than I was making, but it’s very much full-time (9 to anywhere from 5 pm to 7 pm depending on how the day goes) with about a 90-minute commute.

My previous employer hadn’t found a replacement for me and begged me to keep helping them until they did. So for the last two months, I’ve been doing remote work for them every day, AFTER I get home (unless I go grocery shopping first, which I take care of for our family AFTER I help get the kids to bed AFTER I do some cleaning of the inevitable mess that’s left after they’ve eaten dinner and taken showers which happens before I get home and AFTER I cook dinner for the following night and clean up after myself (I do all of the cooking).) I am usually up until about 2 a.m., give or take an hour.

At my new job, they keep giving me more and more responsibility and I am at the point of needing to do some remote work at night to stay ahead of things. Besides that, I am just getting totally burned out. It feels very lonely and draining being up all hours alone.

So, I told my previous employer that at the end of the month, I was done. My wife wasn’t thrilled about this. They’re paying me 1000 bucks a week which by no means makes or breaks us but was very nice to have and allowed us to really beef up our savings which is really key as we’re trying to buy a house in the near-ish future.

I told her I just couldn’t do it, it was too much for me, and on top of that, it was kind of a conflict with my current job. I got permission from my employer to help out but it was supposed to be short-term and while I don’t think I’d get fired over it they’d definitely care.


By the way, my wife is a nurse at night, she works part-time, and she helps out a lot with the kids after school.”

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anma7 4 months ago
NTJ.. tel, wife that unless she wants to quit work stay home run the house taking over EVERYTHING you do currently groceries cleaning EVERTHING you cannot physically or mentally carry on this way... that the new job is MORE MONEY more hours and a commute too.. as a nurse she should KNOW how dangerous this is for you to maintain even for this long... your ex boss is an jerk who has NO INTENTION of finding you a replacement anytime soon... if wife only works part time at night why is SHE not getting the groceries?cooking the dinner some nights? Bathing the kids? I am sorry dude but your wife helps out alot with the kids after school.. are they not her bio kids? Dude you are gonna kill yourself something has to give before your body and brain does... she either needs to help WAY MORE work more or quit work and do all you donwhile you save the money to move and work 18hr days plus travel
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4. AITJ For Not Wanting To See My Ex And His Family?

“I raised both of my children mostly on their own, their bio father was an addict who died when they were very young. However, from 2010-2013 I was married to my now ex-husband Josh. I didn’t realize until after we got married what kind of person he was, he was nice to the kids sure, but he was grumpy and emotionally distant all the time to me.

Then he had an affair so that was the nail in the coffin. We got officially divorced and within 2 months he was living with the woman he had an affair with. They now have a kid together and she’s 5 months pregnant.

My daughter was 11 when we got together, 14 when we broke up, and now 24.

She kept in semi-contact with Josh, and then when she was in late high school we had some problems between the two of us and she got even closer. I do not interfere with her relationship with Josh and his wife, I just don’t want to hear about it.

I know that they have done a few birthday dinners for her over the years and a small engagement party with members of their family but she doesn’t really talk about it and I don’t ask. But she’s never expected me to be in the same room with my ex.

For her wedding, I am giving her $15k. Her college was $15k cheaper than her brother’s so I’d been telling her for years that I’d be giving her the $15k difference for her wedding.

She has her own money as well. She sat me down and told me that she wanted Josh and his ‘side’ to be invited to the wedding.

Not just Josh and his wife but their kids and other members of his family. She even wanted him to do a reading at the ceremony. I felt like I’d been slapped in the face. I can’t imagine what kind of reading he’d even do.

I said I wasn’t comfortable with that and I was paying and she said I was going to have to ‘deal with it.’

Things got heated and I told her that I’d raised her for years and deserved better than this, and she told me again to ‘take it or leave it.’ I truly am considering skipping the wedding.

We don’t have much family so the idea of it being me and a few others while Josh and his larger family sit behind us just seems awful. My son called her yesterday to try to talk her out of it and he said he thinks she’s getting money from Josh.

I feel so betrayed and hurt.”

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anma7 4 months ago
NTJ but you seem to be overlooking 1 key fact YOU BROUGHT him into their life.. and you suck at picking men quite honestly bio dad was a junkie who died so that was him out the way.. you then met him who was great with the kids but crappy tp you.. so out hee goes however he is really the only father figure she had... get over the fact that you have to spend 1DAY in the same room as him and his family who for years was HER family too.... maybe son is right maybe she getting money out of him.. just put a smile on your face enjoy thr day and don't let his crappy behavior YEARS AGO ruin daughters wedding seeing how if you don't go she won't have 1 bio parent there and she only has 1 anyways... YOU. Be the bigger person and know after that day you won't have to see him again
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3. AITJ For Not Helping My Wife's Parents Financially?

“So I (32 M) have been married to my wife Allie (33 F) for 5 years.

Her dad was a restaurant/business owner and her mom was a stay-at-home mom. Both of Allie’s sisters got married to very successful guys and had kids. At the beginning of our relationship, I was starting my own construction business. I wasn’t making a ton of money and Allie’s parents hated it.

Her sisters always tried to set Allie up with their husbands’ friends. Her father disapproved of our wedding and forced Allie to ask for a prenup if she wanted help with the wedding. Allie also asked for us to have separate finances. We have had a loving marriage so far even with the rocky start.

But whenever she visits her family I tend to not go.

So Allie’s dad made some bad investments, got screwed by his partner, and his business took big losses. Due to this he and his wife are struggling to retire like they hoped. Allie sisters came up with a surprise for their parents on their 40 wedding anniversary.

They would pay off their house and send them on a vacation to celebrate retirement. The whole thing would cost about 30K. Each sister would be responsible for 10K. Allie has always paid for things regarding her family and I pay for mine. She gets along with my parents however and will buy things for them sometimes.

So Allie is a school teacher and when she found out the plan she asked me for 8k. I literally laughed. I said her parents were awful to me, thought I was a broke loser and you asked for a prenup. That our finances were separate because she asked for it and I don’t plan on changing it.

Allie said she didn’t have the budget right now but would pay me back. Which I know is nonsense and isn’t something I’d consider anyway. As I intend to not help her family out in any way.

Allie and her sisters got on a Zoom call to talk about it.

I was called into the meeting and asked by the sisters to have some empathy. I told them I made my decision and then was berated. Her sisters went off about how I am holding a grudge still, how I should be willing to help my wife, and how it’s just money.

I said how neither of them had worked a day in their life. How neither of them gave me a chance 6 years ago. How neither of them is using their money either, just using their husbands’ like they always do. That Allie asked for a prenup because their dad thought I was a loser and now he needs my help.

That Allie should manage her finances better. I told them both never to ask me for a favor again.

After we got off the call Allie said she felt like I was being unfair and petty. That I’ve helped my parents out before. (This is true I bought my dad a new 30K truck about a year ago).

I said that’s because my ‘silly’ business took off and I can afford to do those things. And that her parents are her responsibility and I don’t owe them a thing. My parents think while I am not in the wrong, laughing at my wife’s request was kinda a jerk move.


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anma7 4 months ago
NTJ for refusing like you say her daddy demanded XYZ you complied, she asked for separate finances you complied.. but now the business tycoon has apparently been fleeced by his business partner she wants you to hand over 8k of YOUR money cos SHE SPENT HERS to give her parents a nice vacation and pay their house off so they can retire... me thinks it's a good job you got the prenuptial... however what's to stop her taking half your money now seeing daddy aint got any money that he wanted to protect from YOU... you want to consult a lawyer about a post nuptial agreement else i can see daddy convincing her to divorce you to get hold of YOUR ASSETS so she can help her parents in retirement cos make no bones cos they will find out about your refusing to give her money for them... so it will be scorched earth.. i would seriously consider giving her the 8k with a contract stating you won't help them ever again and then get to your lawyer and protect your assets NOW before daddy reacts to the NO... slight YTJ for laughing although i get why you laugh3d at her request n sisters demands.. maybe they can get another 4k outta their hubby's and allied can contribute 2k
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2. AITJ For Not Wanting To Cook For My Husband Anymore?

“I (f 30) live with my husband (m 35) and three children (m 8, f 5, and m 2). I work as a freelance artist from home and my husband works long hours driving.

As a result, I do the majority of the housework and look after our three children. Though when he’s off work and home, he takes on his fair share. Our lives mean that we don’t have much free time.

I enjoy cooking and as a mum, I make sure to give my children a wide variety of foods to eat.

I want them to appreciate different cultures, flavors, and different types of cuisine from all around the world, and to grow up kind and respectful of others, so a few days a week, (3 out of 7 )my children and I cook together and make a recipe from another country.

We all enjoy this and it gives a perfect segue into learning about a foreign country.

My husband on the other hand has a more plain palate and prefers simpler English dishes that he grew up with, such as pies, fish and chips, roast dinners, etc. We eat plenty of meals like this too.

A week ago, we hired a babysitter and went to a friend’s house for dinner. They cooked a beautiful vegetarian pie, with mashed potatoes and vegetables. My husband turned to them and said ‘Oh god, finally! A decent meal for once! Picklepiebanana is always cooking these awful smelly dishes.’ Hurt, I looked at my husband and asked him what he meant, and he said ‘He only puts up with it because he doesn’t have time to cook something decent for himself’.

The meal was a little awkward after that, but neither of us brought it up again while there until we came home. I told him that I ‘wouldn’t stop cooking foreign food with the kids and if he didn’t like it, he would have to cook something for himself.’ He once again said that ‘He didn’t have time for that, and I should just cook him something he likes at the same time,’ which I refuse to do, mainly because when he comes home after work he spends all his time, up until bedtime, gaming (this is around 4 or 4 1/2 hours of time after he comes in.) and has plenty of time to cook a quick, but decent meal for himself and enjoy his hobby.

Once again this week, I cooked with my kids and like I told my husband, I didn’t leave him any. He was mad but ordered takeout. The second time he went around to his parents’ house and his mum cooked for him. The next day, I got a phone call from my MIL saying I was ‘a jerk for not cooking for my husband, and that I spent all day doing my hobby (my actual job) and why shouldn’t he enjoy his hobby?’ Which again, he still can and does do.

I also still cook for him on the days I am not cooking anything foreign.

AITJ for refusing to cook for him on these days?

INFO EDIT – Bills are split 50/50, as yes, as an artist I do make enough to support my family. My husband isn’t the sole breadwinner!

He has never complained to me before about cooking foreign food and generally eats whatever is out in front of him. Also, he generally comes home later, after the kids have eaten.”

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anma7 4 months ago
OK soo how about batch cook/buy him pies the plain stuff he likes so that when he's home and it's mums fake away night he can cook a pie or what ever... when he says wtf say we'll you embarrassed me in front of friends about my stinky food I told you I won't cook for you those nights then cos you didn't like that you set mummy on me lol, get frozen fish and chips sling them in while your cooking you guys your foreign food.. but tell him he KNOWS jerk well your job is NOT a hobby he ISNT the main earner in the home either and you do 90% of the childcare too... that if he doesn't get his mummy in line NOW then he may as well go back there permanently seeing how you do 90% of it all yourself anyways.. tell him put up or shut up but its unreasonable of him to expect you to cook 2 different meals 3x a week just cos he was raised on bland food... or mummy can put him a dinner up for the nights you and the kids are eating what THEY choose to cook WITH YOU. Does he even try the food ? Sounds like his mummy is 1950s mummy with meat n 2veg etc meals every night.. God I would have cried lol... put your foot down love set your manchild straight oh and your MIL too.. tell him you appreciate he works long hours but SO DO YOU keeping his kids alive amd fed his clothes washed and every bloody thing else you do while he's working all while WORKING yourself too
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1. AITJ For Telling My Roommate It's His Fault He Doesn't Look Good?

“Six months ago I (23 m) moved in with Alex (24 m), a friend I met in my last year of college.

I am well-groomed and considered good looking so I get attention from women when we go out. This is normally met by comments from Alex about how lucky I am to look like I do.

But it isn’t luck. I used to be skinny and pimply like him before I started transforming my appearance in my first year of college. I started lifting weights 5-6 times a week. Eating healthy. Drinking water. Learning fashion. Figuring out what hair/beard style looks good on me.

Figuring out a skincare routine that works for me. I am proud of my appearance because of how much effort I’ve put in and I don’t appreciate comments about how lucky I am.

Alex has potential. Tall, good facial structure, good career. But he puts in no effort.

He eats unhealthy – mainly soda, preprocessed food, and Doordash. His style is hoodies, t-shirts, and jeans/sweatpants. No skincare. Doesn’t work out. Dry hair from using 3 in 1 shampoo. A sedentary lifestyle from spending a lot of time gaming. He’s also a bit abrasive while I try to be friendly.

I try to help him without sounding judgmental – I’ll invite him to cook, go shopping, or go to the gym with me. Productive, self-improving activities. But always rejects it.

Last week I invited him to drink with our neighbors and their friends. A few of the new people were complimenting my fashion and we talked about our favorite stores.

Alex butts in and says ‘You just need to be born lucky like OP and you’ll look good in everything.’ Alex somehow steers the conversation toward my personal life and makes more salty comments about how I get girls and he gets none.

Alex’s oversharing on my behalf and his comments made me mad.

Especially stuff about being born lucky, because if anything HE’S the one who was born lucky. He was raised in a white upper middle class household and both of his parents are tenured professors at the prestigious university we went to. I was raised in a family of poor immigrants and had to grind for scholarships to have any hope of affording the same school.

In college, I had to hustle for good-paying internships and TA (teaching assistant) jobs to afford clothes and products for my ‘glow-up.’ Even though I make more, he has more money to spend on improving himself because I send half of my paycheck to my family.

When Alex and I got back to our apartment, he made another luck comment and I snapped a little bit. I told him he could look better if he tried, and he asked what I meant. I went over the differences in our habits I mentioned above.

He got angry and started saying stuff like ‘Society is worse when attractive people get full of themselves instead of realizing how lucky they are.’ I finally fully snapped and told him he puts in no effort and it’s his own fault he doesn’t look good.

He then went back to his room and slammed his door. It’s been over a week and we’ve barely spoken since. AITJ? Was I too harsh?”

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anma7 4 months ago
NTJ... you called him on his crap... he didn't like it cos he KNOWS its the truth. Time for a new roommate and friend if he ain't gonna stop his crap
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