People Discuss Their Petty Yet Justifiable Moments Of Revenge
57. Want To Make Me Look Foolish? You'll Fail My Class
“My mom was a language teacher at my high school and years after I had graduated, she called me kind of upset because a group of guys was trying to make her look dumb. The class was supposed to write one of those team dialogues in Spanish, and had a week or so to prepare it, then had to perform it in front of the class.
When she called for them to do theirs, they said, ‘But we already did ours, we’re not doing it again.’ She said, ‘You definitely didn’t do it, I don’t have any record of it here and I would remember it if you had.’ They refused to do it, insisting they already performed it and that it was her fault she didn’t take notes/scores down. She was feeling puzzled and questioning herself when one of the good kids came and said, ‘They didn’t do it – they were bragging about making you look stupid and threatened the whole class if they told you anything.
But please don’t tell them I told you this, I don’t want any problems with them.’ (These were those stereotypical dumb jock types who everyone was scared of for whatever reason).
My mom was really into yoga at the time and got a great idea while meditating. She went in the next day and said, ‘Boys, I owe you an apology. I found my notes on your presentation and I do remember it, I don’t know how I forgot!’ She went on to describe all the grammatical mistakes they made, that their dialogue hadn’t been as long as required, that they didn’t include the necessary vocabulary, etc. All made up. She failed them all on the project and they couldn’t do a thing about it without admitting they’d made it all up.”
56. Want To Mess With Me At Work? I'll Mess With Your Computer Mouse
“I once had a colleague I hated (he was very condescending and really arrogant), so I put an extra Bluetooth receiver in his computer for a computer mouse and kept the mouse in my drawer. I would just open my drawer and it would mess his crap right up. Kept it going for like 2 months. He was about to murder the world when I thought I better stop.”
Another User Comments:
“I once pulled this same trick on a coworker over the course of six months (we pulled pranks on each other a lot and I would never mess with it when he was busy).
One day he gets fed up and throws his mouse and keyboard on the ground, stomping on them and yelling. Then he looks at me, beet red, and asks if I had anything to do with it. I stare at him shocked and after a few seconds he breaks down laughing.
Turns out he recently found the receiver and so went and got a broken keyboard and mouse from recycling so that he could prank me back. I guess you could say he sure did get his petty revenge on me cause he really freaked me out.” jkb73
55. You Only Care About The Gifts? I'll Gift You Something You'll Never Forget
“A relative kept inviting me to her kid’s birthday parties. We aren’t close, and multiple people informed me she brags about inviting me knowing I won’t go and will just send a gift (who wants to go to a 3y/o birthday party with 30 loud kids during flu season?)
I started buying elaborate, loud, and expensive gifts with batteries already in it and things like sensory sand, anything with more than 100 pieces, drums, keyboards, $20 gift cards to build a bear (can’t leave there without dropping $50.)
Her kids are 5 and 7 now and have a great memory for the amazing gifts I get them. I send gifts even though I don’t get an invite anymore. This year it’s an art kit. Glitter glue, hundreds of stickers, a stamping pad, so much paint, tiny beads, clay, and loose glitter.”
54. Bad Manager Receives Poopy Surprise
“I worked as a mechanic at Pep Boys several years ago. The service manager was a complete jerk that regularly cost me money because he would give all of the good jobs to mechanics that he liked better. While I worked there, some of us discovered that if the drainage pipe in the shop were pressurized, the toilet would shoot water out of the bowl. The day that I quit I waited until he went into the bathroom to take a dump. I filled up a Cheetah (a device used to seat a tire onto a wheel) and released about 200psi all at once into the drainage pipe. The toiled spewed water and poop everywhere, the manager screamed, and then comes storming out of the bathroom COVERED in poop.”
53. Annoyed With Your Siblings? This Trick Works Like Magic
“When I was a kid I got the Sabrina the Teenage Witch ‘Handbook’ – it was full of kiddie experiments and stuff and was pretty fun.
My older sister had upset or annoyed me about something, so I tried out one of the ‘tricks’ from the book: you fill a cup with water and some corn kernels, put some tinfoil on top of the cup, and the kernels will eventually pop and make noise against the tinfoil.
I put it under her bed (it takes a few days to ‘work’) so I completely forgot about it, until one night I woke up to my two sisters whispering – it had popped in the middle of the night and she thought there was a rat under her bed.”
52. Steal My Notes? I'll Write You Gibberish
“I had a guy in school who would always skip class and then ask for my notes. We had a group project worth almost 40% of our grade and he did zero work, and the prof told me tough luck. Instead of just saying no the next time he asked for notes, I took the low road and began giving him edited versions.
I would leave items out of lists, incorrectly define things, or just straight-up write stuff that makes no sense.
An example of the stuff I would put in: To calculate return on investment, subtract your yearly earnings from your current bank balance, then multiply by Escher’s factorial (4.22).
If he had even once bothered to crack the text he would have figured it out, but that apparently would have been too much effort for him.”
He retook that class.”
Another User Comments:
“This reminds me of two people I knew at university.
Both were taking Maths. One was a Belgian student, the other one was English and got in on a scholarship, so he got a LOT of money to study there, on the condition he didn’t have to retake any semesters.
In the first year, they were flatmates and the Belgian girl would often complain about having to more or less drag the guy to lectures. The second-year they were housemates with the guy’s friends and the guy spent all of his time partying and going out.
Instead of attending lectures, he would just pester the girl to go over what he had missed with him.
Needless to say, they had a falling out. She stopped even trying to drag him to lectures and refused to help him. Near the end of the year, with the exams approaching, he was called in by the staff over his complete lack of attendance and reminded of the circumstances of his scholarship.
He panicked and begged the girl for help. She refused and he went crazy, forcing her to lock herself in her room.
I later got a phone call from her in a panicked state saying her notes had vanished, two days before the exams. Clearly, it was the guy who had done it. Through a series of acquaintances, we were able to get him to leave the house and I stood watch while she went into his room, and lo and behold there were the notes.
From the few fresh scribbles on the first few sheets, it was obvious that the guy had not realized that the girl had written all her notes in French before taking them and had tried to use Google translate to decipher them.
Too bad she also had terrible handwriting.” reverendmalerik
51. Take My Stuff Without Asking? I'll Make Sure You Don't Sleep
“Back in University, studying Sound Technology, I was living in halls of residence with four other students. After a month I started to notice things going missing and brought it up with my roommates. They all admitted to taking various things and said it was no big deal. I felt this was unacceptable and asked that anything taken was replaced. They said I was childish and petty, said I should learn to share.
I give up on them and retreat to my room for a week. When I resurface to play my gaming console (which I left in the communal space for everyone to use) I find that several of my games are missing. When I ask where they are they tell me that they lent them to people. My stuff, they lent it out, to people I don’t know, without asking me.
Once again, they call me childish for not sharing. So I decided to take a fortnight holiday away from these people, but before I go I want to leave them a gift. I change the settings on my computer so it won’t turn off or go into power save. I pull up some studio software and create a subsonic bass loop that plays for 2 seconds, every 45 seconds.
I turn my speakers and sub right up as loud as they could safely operate. Lock my door. On my way off-site I drop into the office to ask the staff to hold my mail for a fortnight but there’s no one there, must have been out on a job. All of the spare keys for maintenance purposes are on a rack behind the desk. I take the spare to my room so no one can get into the room in my absence.
And off I go. For two weeks, every 45 seconds, the whole flat vibrates for 2 seconds and no one can stop it.
Two weeks later I return to the residence to find four students with red eyes, pale faces, almost despondent. They’ve barely slept. None of them say a word to me. I open my door, turn off my computer, return the spare key to the desk, leaving it without saying a word. My housemates didn’t steal anything from me for the rest of the year and my games were returned to me without a word from them.”
50. Won't Do The Work? I'll Tell The Teacher
“My significant other’s class was doing presentations in pairs, and he got paired with some girl who didn’t bother to bring notes or research information for their presentation. She instead let him do all the work, and any slides she did were made from his notes and research. He complained to his tutor and she told him ‘Don’t worry, leave it to me.’ And then the day of the presentation comes.
They present, and then at the end, the tutor asks the girl a question. If I remember correctly the question was something like ‘Is there any evidence to suggest that some cultures are more prone to mental health problems?’ And the girl answered no. The tutor then asked my SO (significant other) the exact same question, and because he’d actually read the research on the topic, he was able to list several studies that showed that some cultures are in fact more prone to mental health issues.
The girl glared at him the entire time he answered the tutor’s question. Pretty sure she ended up with a D, while he got an A or B.”
Another User Comments:
“My very first semester of college, I took a philosophy class that required a co-written paper. I was partnered with a guy who was clearly rushing a frat. But he seemed nice enough at first, like he was actually interested in working on the paper, so I didn’t mind helping him out.
I forget if there were deadlines he missed, or if I just got tired of holding his hand through the thing. I would get texts saying he’d been busy all night with whatever for his frat, and if I had any more notes he could use. Anyway, he pulled that crap again the night before it was due. I’d been afraid that he wouldn’t get his part done so I’d written the whole paper to turn in just in case.
I told him, ‘I wrote your half.’ I didn’t tell him I’d also be telling the professor I wrote his half.” blanabbas
Another User Comments:
“When I was in high school, one of my classes had this big project at the end. It was worth a substantial part of our grade. You could either work in a group or on your own (the length of the project presentation was determined by the number of people in your group).
I was in a group of three people, and this one girl was absolutely worthless. We would set up meeting times, but at the last minute she would always come up with an excuse. Same thing when we asked her to do things outside of our meetings.
We had two months to finish this project, and about a week and a half before it was due, my partner and I had had enough.
We went to the professor and showed her all the emails showing our attempts to meet with her and all her excuses. My teacher looks at us and says, ‘Cut her out. She has to do her own project.’
I was thrilled. So much schadenfreude (pleasure from another’s misfortune) when I broke the news to her. She broke down in hysterics, repeating all her excuses. I flat out told her that we gave her dozens of chances to make it up, and she had still done nothing. We have permission from our teacher to kick you out. Have fun preparing your own project in a week’s time. I was probably a bit cold/harsh, but I was completely done with her garbage.” DragonMeme
Where we got our masters from, if we met (or knew) someone during the program that we wanted to have every class with, you could talk to the advisors, and they would make sure we could. Of course that's what she and I did. Most of our professors were the same way. We could let then know if there was anyone we wanted to be grouped with to let him/her know. We did that with every class. Not only did we get along well, but with being in the same group, at least each of us only had to do half, instead of the entire thing. We both have said that if it wasn't for the other person, we would've gone insane. We're still friends 10 + years later.
49. Want To Beat Up My Friends? We'll Return The Favour
“So I was an AP kid, and had a bunch of AP friends, and also was in sports and theater. I had a large bunch of friends in nearly every clique.
Anyway. One day, one of my friends gets sucker punched in the halls by some jerk. Because of the school’s zero-tolerance policy, getting sucker-punched carries the same punishment as sucker punching. So my friend and the jerk both got an in-school suspension (ISS), but only one of them was punched in the face.
I thought that was a little bit unfair.
So I got my friends together, and they got their friends together, and every week, one of us would sucker punch jerkface. Every week, one of us would have ISS, and so would jerkface, but since we are many, none of us went to ISS twice.
Jerkface on the other hand missed so much class, that he had to retake the grade.”
48. A Battle Of The Jelly
“Had a Chief Warrant Officer in Iraq throw a bottle of petroleum jelly at me after I got done ranting about something I’d long since forgotten. Told me to go ‘take care of it, and come back when I feel better.’ During his afternoon nap I spent an hour covering everything on his desk with the jelly in the most inconspicuous spots (e.g. inside the handle of a coffee mug, underneath the handle of the Keurig pod loader, behind the canister holding Keurig coffee pods, anywhere he could grab something and not see it without first inspecting it).
He came back and proceeded to curse at a rate never witnessed before as he had to continuously wipe all the jelly off his hands every 3 minutes. He caught the jelly on the inside rims of his over-the-ear headphones before he rimmed his ears with it, but the best came after I let him calm down and get back to work.
Everyone else in the office watched me do it, no one said a thing, but they all had their eyes on me as I waited five minutes before picking up my phone on my desk and slowly dialed the number at his desk.
It rings, everyone turns to look at him, he’s on the computer, picks up the phone, slaps it to his ear, ‘Radio Battalion SON OF A WITCH!!!’ He turns his head, and his ear was caked full of petroleum jelly I had dumped all over the earpiece of the phone.
Master Man and Major told me these antics and pranks made that deployment. CWO Ryan, if you’re reading this: Sorry, not sorry.”
47. Want To Eat My Lunch? I'll Give You A Spicy Surprise
“During study hall in 8th grade, I always brought two small sandwiches to school so I could have one at lunch and one in study hall since our teacher let us eat in that class. One day as I was about to eat my sandwich, I get up to use the bathroom. As I walk back into the classroom, I see the kid in front of me eating my sandwich.
I was pretty annoyed but nothing serious at this point, so I confront him politely and he denies it completely. I left my sandwich on my desk the next day just to make sure it was him, and what do you know, it is. So on the third day, I hatched a plan. I put habanero cheese on my sandwich and then doused it all in ghost pepper sauce.
That crap was everywhere, but it luckily didn’t smell spicy. I get to study hall and my plan works flawlessly. I leave my trap sandwich on my desk and get up to use the restroom. This time I take as long as I can and end up wandering the halls of the school. I did this because my study hall teacher was strict about the hall pass, and only one guy was allowed to leave the class at a time, even for water. After about ten minutes I come back into the class to be greeted by the sandwich thief crying hysterically with a bright red face waiting for the hall pass. He was in the bathroom for the rest of the day.”
46. Be Disloyal And See Your Ex Behind My Back? I'll Make Sure You Know How It Feels
“Years ago I had a girl go behind my back and see her ex. I never told her I knew, but inevitably broke up a week or two later ‘mutually’… I knew full well she would return to her ex immediately. I was bitter but held it together.
A month later… by a complete stroke of luck (her ex bought something online from a friend of mine) I ended up with the ex’s phone number.
A female friend of mine wanted to help me and posed as his ‘side chick’ and called and texted him every night for a week asking when he was going to hook up with her again and that she ‘couldn’t wait to see him again when his partner goes to work.’ I’d listen in to every call, and we’d hear my ex in the background going crazy about it and sometimes she’d even answer the phone.
My friend did a terrific job.
After a week we decided to up the ante. We drove by her house and his car was parked outside with the windows down. We put a pair of panties in the backseat.
A few days later I get a call from my ex who had suddenly decided she wanted to return to me. After a bit of talking, she explained that her ex had been seeing someone else.
Then I turned her down.”
45. Mess With My Food? I'll Destroy Yours
“Someone in my office would always crush lunches with his gigantic lunch box. Either he ate bricks or lead, I don’t know, but I always came to the office fridge and found that my lunch was in pieces.
So, after three bouts of this, and numerous notes from myself and other colleagues, I carefully removed his lunch box, emptied the contents (a gigantic sandwich, a Twinkie, chips, some vegetable pieces, and a few other bits), and ran over them with my car.
I carefully packed it back in and put it back.
He kept his lunch in a cooler by his cube from then on.”
Another User Comments:
“My roommate in college would always leave his Chinese food out in the common area of our dorm that 20 people shared. So we tried talking to him… no avail. We tried leaving it outside my dorm room’s doorstep… that didn’t work either.
Finally, one night I got back from a house party and was overly enraged with the three-day-old Chinese food in the common room that I picked it up and put all the open containers inside his sheets, and then I made the bed back up. He came home later to find the Chinese food in the bed and slept on the couch for the night. I know I’m a jerk but he always remembered to throw away his trash afterward.” ndopp
44. Speaking Loudly At A Library Has Its Consequences
“Back in college, I was sitting in the library trying to work on an assignment. All was quiet for a while until this one obnoxious guy came in and sat at a table near me and proceeded to pull out his phone and have the loudest, most obnoxious conversation with one of his friends. Lots of ‘BRO, SERIOUSLY BRO?’ and yadda yadda. I was about to pack up my things and find somewhere else to work when the conversation turned to Netflix.
The guy told his friend he should just use his account and proceeded to loudly state his email address and password for all to hear. This was too good of an opportunity for me to pass up, so I promptly logged in and navigated to the ‘LGBT’ section, and started adding the gayest movies I could find to the top of the queue.
I like to think that both guys ended up thinking the other one added the movies to the queue but were too shocked to ever say anything to each other.”
Another User Comments:
“Usually Netflix allows up to three screens/streams at a time so I would have been very tempted to keep two Netflix tabs open from his account on my pc at all times.
Let them fight over the last connection” simanimos
43. Wrong My Friend? I'll Give You The Runs
“One of my best friends used to be married to a very abusive husband. Eventually, we persuaded her to leave him, and one day the two of us waited until he went to work, then packed everything we could and moved her out. It didn’t take long for him to find her, so I stayed with her to make sure she was safe, as he wasn’t brave enough lay a finger on a woman who was prepared to hit him back, and I would have been more than happy to do that.
Eventually, he backed off, though he completely financially screwed her over in the divorce, but it was done.
Shortly after the divorce was finalized, a friend of my Dad’s, who played on the same rugby team as the ex, mentioned how the whole team was going off on a boy’s weekend to France.
Unfortunately, poor ex-husband started feeling very unwell on the coach trip there and had to beg the driver to stop frequently due to his unfortunate case of the runs. Sadly, they didn’t manage to stop in time. Twice. The mysterious diarrhea didn’t let up for the whole weekend.
Meanwhile, my friend and I spent the weekend laughing our heads off at the photos of her ex pooping himself, that the rest of the team had plastered all over social media.
Never has a packet of Senokot brought so much happiness.”
42. Slack Off At Work? I'll Mess With Your Internet Connection
“My co-worker was always complaining and always lazy with his work, yet he got recognition for the simplest thing he would actually do. He also took credit for a full day’s work that was pretty much all me. I always got ignored. So one day, I came in early and I unplugged his Ethernet jack just barely to the point it looked like it was still plugged into his computer.
For 4 hours he couldn’t do any work. Meanwhile, I got my work done, and he couldn’t take any credit for it since everyone knew he didn’t have Internet access. Halfway through the day, he left on break, I plugged it back in and bam, just like this it was working. By then, he couldn’t claim my work, and I began to get noticed more.”
Another User Comments:
“I have a similar tale of an epically lazy co-worker who I’ll call LB (for Lazy Butthead).
We had a tightly filtered intranet, but a few people in IT had a second machine with an unfiltered connection for troubleshooting, including LB. LB liked to spend the day browsing the unfiltered internet rather than doing his work. One day, another co-worker who’d had it with LB’s crap unplugged the Ethernet connection to LB’s corporate machine and quietly told LB’s boss what he’d done. The boss fired off a trivial request to LB, just in case LB was keeping up with mail from his phone or something.
No response. Finally, late in the day, the boss calls LB to check on the request, and LB spun a tale off how busy he was and how he’d been gathering information for the boss’s request all day. A few minutes later, as the early arrivals are preparing to go home for the day, we hear, ‘Is anyone else having network trouble?’ as LB tried to log in for the first time.
LB wasn’t with us for long after that.” brokengoose
Another User Comments:
“I had something very similar happen at a summer internship, but the payoff took far longer.
I was hired for a summer internship with a junior mining company at the same time Marcus, a recent graduate was hired for a full-time position. Our boss paired us together to review documents and familiarize ourselves with the project.
While we were reviewing documents, I happened upon a calculation error that meant the company could mine more material than initially expected, thereby increasing the profitability of the project. Certain that I must be mistaken, I ran the error by Marcus and he agreed with my findings and asked me to write up a brief summary. The jerk then took my brief summary, slapped his name on it, and submitted it to the higher-ups as his own work.
Marcus quickly became the company hero and the CEO even flew him out to Toronto and wined and dined him at expensive steakhouses for a couple of days. Marcus never once gave me an ounce of credit for the discovery.
As an acknowledgment of Marcus’ hard work, they assigned the two of us to a small research and documentation project and made Marcus the ‘project manager’ that managed and directed my work.
Marcus put in an earnest effort for about a week but then decided that he was going to slack off while I put in the effort of two people. Marcus started taking 2+ hour lunches, returning to the office completely sloshed. Sometimes he would lock his office and nap for a few hours. Throughout the entire summer, I bit my lip and never outed Marcus or bad-mouthed him.
The payoff? I wrapped up our summer project, wrote the report, submitted it to the appropriate people, and returned to school for the fall. Not even one day after my departure, Marcus calls me panicked. He is being asked to present our work and delve further into certain portions. He had no idea what I had done, much less where to start with delving further into the project. I kindly referred him to the report and reminded him that I had satisfied all of my duties with the company. I returned to the company in December to intern for a month over my winter break to learn that Marcus had been fired in late September, only a month after I left for school.” MajesticButtercup
41. A Little Trail Of Revenge
“My boss sent me an email where she said my performance of a task was incomplete. I politely replied that, according to my notes of our discussion of the task, I had done all the things we discussed but to please let me know what I missed so I could complete the task.
We went back and forth 2 or 3 times, her hinting that I’d missed something, me replying to please just let me know what it was.
She finally replied with the missed expectation (which I’d inadvertently omitted from my notes) and accused me of ‘trying to create a paper trail to establish that you’d completed the task.’
Rather than responding that I’d literally asked her for guidance in completing the task in every interaction regarding the task (thus admitting I hadn’t completed the task), the next morning, I got in early and took an index card and created a little paper trail between her parking spot and her office.”
40. Gossip About Me? I'll Give You A Wet Surprise
“When I was a kid I had a bedwetting problem. I am not ashamed of this now, as thousands of other kids have had the same problems… at the time, however, this was humiliating. My younger brother started telling other kids around school how extensive the issue was. I was mortified.
Even after our mother told him to knock it off, he continued. So I decided to level the playing field.
The whole ‘hand in a cup of warm water’ deal didn’t work. I stood over him as he slept one night and peed on him. The next morning, my mom was horrified and wound up taking a call from my grandmother.
‘I don’t know what to do, now BOTH of them are peeing the bed,’ she explained, clearly frustrated.
After a few more times of ‘framing’ my brother as a bed wetter, he completely stopped using my embarrassing problem as entertainment.”
39. Eat All My Cookies? I'll Replace Them With Dog Treats
“I used to buy small treat bags of gourmet cookies from a local bakery a few years ago. I would eat maybe one a day, but they were a treat for me. Back then my husband and I had a retail store and a few friends that would hang out at the store (it was kind of a lounge too). Well, my husband and our friends (most were guys) would just help themselves.
But they had no self-control nor would they even ask for some. I would buy the bag of cookies for me, and they’d be gone. I would try to hide them but couldn’t.
So I bagged up a bunch of dog treats that the local pet food store had that looked very very close to cookies for people. And were all about the same size as the ones I bought from the bakery.
I placed them where all the guys could see them, and waited.
Yep, they tried them… asked if they were a bad batch or maybe the bakery missed an ingredient or two in the dough.
I waited till they tried to eat more than 3 each… then told them they were dog treats.
They never touched my cookies again.”
Another User Comments:
“I used to work at a pet store that sells those cookies.
They’re pretty much the same except they have much less sugar than human cookies, and obviously no chocolate.
We used to eat them all the time, but never off the bar. Everyone touches them with their hands, and tall dogs will jump up and stick their faces in it.
We had a lot of people come in and say they were buying them for a prank. I always gave them fresh ones, unless they wanted the dog slobber ones.” 1angrypanda
38. Sometimes You Have To Start A Food Fight On The Road
“Back when I was a senior in high school around Christmas time my parents allowed me to skip school to go buy Christmas gifts and say forget it for the day. I had my license so I was excited to just do my own thing that day. I head out to the mall in the other town and am having one of those really good days.
You know, where for no particular reason you are just happy and floating through the day. It was sunny out and not too cold. Just a perfect day. After I finish up at the mall I figure I would treat myself. I got one of those big gulp Slurpees from 7/11. The almost gallon-looking cup that barely fits into any of your cup holders with the red shovel end straw of Mountain Dew Code Red.
Heck yes this was continuing to be an awesome day.
I needed to cross a bridge to get over the big river in our area and onto the highway I needed. The bridge had the outside lane closed midway through. I’m in the inside lane and need to get to the right turn lane at the end of the bridge. Before the closure, this lady in a nice BMW tries to speed up and cut in front of me before the lane closed.
I was like whaaaat? This was dangerous as it is being all tight and everyone following close so I don’t let her in and she slides in behind of me cutting off the person behind me. Whatever. I can see in my mirror she is waving her arms around and upset. As I pull into the right turn lane she pulls up next to me and rolls down her window.
All I see are animated movements and someone yelling. So I roll down my window. This old witch isn’t going to ruin my day.
My initial plan is to just be overly nice to her. Awful people in a fit hate it when you are super nice to them. But after I roll down my window I hear her breaking into a tirade against teenage drivers. ‘You kids should learn manners.’ ‘You kids shouldn’t be driving.’ ‘I’ll have you arrested!’ and just being a mean woman because I wouldn’t let her break the rules and cut everyone in line.
So I had a moment of brilliance. I reach over, grab my fully filled, bright red Slurpee and with my right arm, I sorta chucked it across my body. My initial plan was that it would hit her door or something and spill everywhere on her paint causing her to have to go to a car wash. What actually happened turned out better than I could have imagined.
Now, remember she was leaning over into the passenger seat to yell at me. So as I chucked this tank of red sticky slushie out my window it didn’t hit her car door or any part of the outside. Instead, it sailed perfectly into her open window and freaking exploded when it hit the headrest of her passenger seat. I’m talking bright red slushie exploding all over the nice tan leather interior, windshield, and best of all on the woman’s face.
The look of utter shock and awe on her face was absolutely incredible. She went from one moment being rude, mean, and authoritative to suddenly shocked and trying to process her situation. I simply said ‘Merry freaking Christmas’ and drove away. Those were the only words I spoke to her. Afterward, I felt kinda bad. I mean I didn’t mean to throw it IN her car but rather on it.
That mess must have been a pain in the butt to get cleaned up. But after thinking about it a little more I was very happy that it turned out the way it did.”
Another User Comments:
“You’ll love this. If you remember back, I’m pretty sure it was Burger King that ran a “behold, the power of cheese!” TV commercial, remember that…
So my dad went and grabbed breakfast from McDonald’s, and the sandwich he got had cheese sticking out on all sides (square cheese, round sandwich).
He also does not like the egg, but small animals do. So at a red light, he chucked a bit of the egg out the window and started trimming cheese off too. This lady pulled up next to him and rolled down her window…
‘What the heck do you think you’re doing, that’s littering!’ Etc… I mean, I guess it is, but it’s not like it’s plastic.
Whatever. Light turns green, he pulls up 40 yards to the next red light, grabs the last of the cheese, and tosses it out the window right as this lady pulls up to keep shouting at him. The cheese lands right on her windshield.
She starts ranting about it, and turns on her windshield wipers to wipe off the hot melty cheese… it smeared all over the windshield. Just as the light turns green, and there was enough room to get into the right-hand turn lane, so my dad could finally turn, he looks over at her from his car, smiles, and in a loud voice says ‘BEHOLD! The power of cheese!’ and turned right as she went straight. No clue what happened after that.” Workingusrname
37. Refuse To Pay Me? I'll Blast You On Social Media
“A guy owed me money, but I wasn’t immediately worried because we had done transactions before. This was a transaction via USPS. He started dodging me, ignoring calls and messages and all but stayed active on The Book of Faces (just ignoring me and deleting my comments and posts).
After three months, getting progressively more impatient, I had had enough. I got the notification to approve him as a member of a Book of Faces group I’m in.
I approved him, then made a big post in the group putting him on blast for it, tag and everything. I then added his mom and sister on The Book of Faces and sent them messages. Mind you, the guy is in his thirties.
He messaged me about it, and things are getting resolved. If it slips again, however, I’m calling his work. Working for Amazon and committing mail fraud probably don’t go well together.”
36. Steal My Story? I'll Water Damage Your Workspace
“A woman I work with literally stole this great story that I tell about me being in the same hospital at the same time that my niece was born. She tells it as if it was her husband and she was in the hospital giving birth. She’s a known one-upper, everything you do she did it better, faster, it was worse for her etc. etc. so it didn’t surprise me when a coworker told me she regularly tells clients that story.
So now, every single day as I get in I pour a tiny bit of my water bottle out on her desk, chair, or on the carpet somewhere in her office.
In my mind mold is slowly growing in her office, her skirt gets wet when she sits down or any fresh documents she sits on her desk get sat right in the small puddle of water.”
Another User Comments:
“No no no, what you do is tell a story that’s from some popular movie or TV show or something that she doesn’t know. Then when she tries telling it from her own perspective, her clients will be like… lol, this lady is crazy.” donteatmenooo
35. Money Guilt Leads To Reverse Revenge
“When I was about 13, I was snooping around my older brother’s room and found a stack of 20 dollar bills stashed away. He was saving up from his high school job to buy a car. Hundreds of dollars. To 13-year old me it was a fortune, and I figured he wouldn’t notice if I stole just one 20 — still a lot of money to me.
So I did.
For years I would remember it every once and a while and feel guilty. The worst part was, when I took the 20, he was also a teenage kid and probably knew exactly how much money was there. He probably knew I took one but let me get away with it because he figured I needed it. That made me feel much worse.
15 years later, I’m hanging around with him on the holidays.
I see that he left his wallet on the counter, and he’s upstairs. I sneak into his wallet, see there are a few 20s, and I slide an extra one in there. Got him!”
Another User Comments:
“My dad used to smoke stuff. When we were teenagers, my brother and I would go into Dad’s room and pinch a bit if we were out. Right before we both left for college, we pooled our money and left him an ounce of good in his hiding place. It was the right thing to do.” Just_Call_Me_Mavis
34. Keep Grossing Me Out? Two Can Play At That Game
“Ok this one is pretty gross.. but growing up in a house of only girls, personal space does not exist. We used to bathe in front of each other, and even use the bathroom in front of each other. There are no boundaries. My younger sister was notorious for shaving in the tub and not rinsing it out when she was done. Pubes. Everywhere. One day she was taking a bath and I asked her to rinse when she was done because I planned on taking a bath afterward. She told me to leave. So I reached in my pants, snipped off a chunk of pubes, tossed them in the tub with her, and walked out.”
33. Keep Bullying Me? I'll Sign You Up For Junk Mail
“In college (early 1990’s), I lived with several guys in a dorm. One liked to call me “chunky A”, yes, I was chubby (I still am, but I have lost a lot of weight and I continue to lose more.) I asked him politely but firmly to not call me that. He laughed and did it more.
I proceeded to call up every infomercial I saw on TV to send him baldness cures (he was losing his hair), Tourist information from places like Iowa and Nebraska, information about adult bed wetting, etc.
He accused me of it, and I told him, why would I do such a thing to him? I kept it up for 2 years while he lived in the dorms. His junior year, he moved out to an off-campus place. I found out where he lived and I waited a couple of months and started it all over again.
Yeah, I bombarded him with junk mail.”
Another User Comments:
“I still, to this day, send random junk mail to the address of some guy that angered me in college.
In college, we were in a club together for 4 yrs (large 100+ person academic club). And the last meeting before everyone graduated, he brought in the box of ‘samples’ he’d been collecting. Everything from diapers, tons of girl magazines, formula, STD testing info, etc. It made me realize how much stuff I actually sent the guy.
It’s now my defacto ‘fake address’ for tons of stupid forms or random freebies I see online. I feel bad for the person who lives there now, because I’ve been doing this for a decade, with absolutely no plan to stop.” CripzyChiken
32. Keep Being A Bully? I'll TP Your Car
“I worked in a fish factory most summers when I was in my teens, and there was a boy who also worked there one summer who was a jerk and a bully. I and another girl were his main targets, and this was really disgusting verbal bullying, suggestive and racial in nature (the other girl was of mixed race). He would yell his insults over the factory announcement system whenever he didn’t have enough work to keep him busy.
The foreman refused to get involved, so we took action.
One day, we finished work before he did, and spotted his car out in the parking lot (his dad’s car, actually). We looked at each other, went back into the building, got several rolls of toilet paper and a packet of menstrual pads, and ‘decorated’ the car with them.
The car was seen by many of our co-workers, some of whom also witnessed the decorating and cheered us on.
Once he got out he just stood there, blushing and embarrassed and wondering who could have done this to him. He was very subdued at work after that and the bullying nearly stopped, I hope because what we did made him realize what it felt like to be at the victim’s end of it.
Best thing about it was that everyone, including his brother, knew who had done it, and no one told him.”
31. Refuse To Leave? I'll Give You A Reason To
“As a nurse, we had this awful patient, who made all our lives a living nightmare. Needed pain meds on the dot, needed to smoke every half hour, sat on the call light all darn day. This person was possibly the rudest human being I’ve ever met. It finally came time for discharge, and this patient decided to come up with a whole bunch of new medical problems.
‘I have chest pain! I have nausea! One side of my body feels numb!’ So, being the very skilled and rational nurse I am, I asked the doctor for a whole new set of orders. First, I asked for lab draws every 3 hrs (meaning needles every three hours) to check cardiac markers. Then I asked that the patient be placed on NPO status (nothing by mouth) for the nausea.
This person couldn’t go an hour without eating something. For the numbness, I requested the patient be placed on strict bed rest for 24 hrs and then have a physical therapy eval ordered (which meant no more going downstairs to smoke). I explained this all to the patient, and he says ‘Crap! I Just wanted to stay another night. I ain’t doing any of that! I feel fine, just give me my damn papers!’ Talked it over with the doctor on call, he gave me the all-clear to discharge, and I had him out the door in an hour.”
Another User Comments:
“Yep, we get them pre-hospital, too.
Working EMS, we had a guy who didn’t have a car calling us to take him to the hospital next door to his workplace any time he couldn’t get anyone to give him a ride. He’d make up some nonsense symptoms, get to the ER and then check himself out before we could even get the ambulance back in service.
He finally messed up one day and claimed he’d fallen and hit his head, lost consciousness, and now had partial paralysis and numbness on one side. Big mistake. That got him C-spined and backboarded and driven an hour to the trauma center in the opposite direction from where he wanted to go. He kept trying to downgrade his initial claims to get to go to his preferred hospital, but it was too late for that.
Never had to run on him again.” 626c6f775f6d65
30. Mess With The Dispatchers? We'll Blast You Over The Radio
“When I was in college back in the 90s I used to dispatch tow truck drivers part-time to help pay tuition. It was an easy job. Someone broke down, they called Triple-A, Triple-A called whichever tow company was nearest. If we were nearest I would get on the radio and tell the driver where to go and what to expect. Pretty easy and most drivers were laid back, friendly guys.
Sometimes we would get new drivers though as the towing industry has a healthy turnover, especially in the wintertime. If the new guys were ever jerks to the other drivers or we just felt like messing with the new guy we had a trick we would pull on them.
We would wait for the ‘Driver’ to be helping a girl. Then once they had gotten the girl’s car on the flatbed or strung up on the stinger we would go over the radio and ask if they were available.
Dispatcher – Hey Driver, you have a customer with you en route back to the garage?
Driver – Yeah dispatch we are heading back to the garage.
Dispatcher – OK, good. Oh, by the way, the Dr. called, he said something about how your crotch rash cream is in and you can pick it up whenever you have time.
Of course, all of the other drivers would be standing by on their radios and then they would all chime in laughing to bust the target driver’s chops. It was a great laugh and the drivers never messed with the other drivers or dispatch again.”
29. Dump Me As A Friend? Watch Out For A Fishy Surprise
“When I was 17, my first love dumped me for a friend of mine. That friend continued to unceremoniously dump all the rest of our friends too, by spreading rumors about them. No one was happy with this witch (who will be now referred to as simply “Witch”). Not only that but allegedly, Witch had a pattern of this behavior. The last group of friends she had before us, she claimed alienated her for no reason.
In fact, Witch had done the same exact thing to them.
One night, I was out of town with my parents having my car fixed. I got a call from my best friend (let’s call her BFFF) saying ‘We’re exacting revenge. You should not be in on it because you’d be the obvious suspect. I will update later.’
Basically, BFFF teamed up with the two jerk-wannabes of our class.
They went to a grocery store and bought cans of tuna and mayo, which they mixed in plastic sandwich bags, undrained. These tuna bombs were then launched at Witch’s car, in the middle of the night. From what we were told, the mess in the morning had to be removed with an ice pick because alas, it was the dead of winter, and her car never smelled the same again after that. But I wouldn’t know anything about that. I was out of town having my car fixed.”
28. Never Ask For Help If You Won't Return The Favour
“I had a ‘friend’ in high school who was a complete butthead. Never did anything, just barely passed thanks to people who felt sorry for him. (Me included)
I once got a punishment test cause I kept interrupting the teacher, and got placed in the first row, next to that guy. I asked him to help me, cause History was literally the only thing he was good at, and he just said ‘You got yourself into this, you deserve that F.’ Yea, I got an F.
Well, during our last week our Computer Science teacher told him that if he doesn’t finish writing a program in the 3 days that were left, he would fail him. That butthead thought it was a good idea to ask me. I gladly accepted.
The main goal was to make a program that would calculate some things based on the input, pretty standard. Well, I just made it look really pretty and added all the textboxes necessary, didn’t make it do what it’s supposed to.
When you click the button that says ‘calculate’ a popup window with his picture from The Book of Faces (I found a really ugly one he was tagged in, really had to dig deep) comes up. Under it was just one sentence ‘I’m a lazy butthole and I can’t do anything on my own.’
The teacher failed him and I’m still happy about this.”
27. Want To Make Fun Of Me? I'll Rearrange Your Stuff
“Had a roommate in my freshman year of college who happened to make fun of my dyslexia on the worst of all possible days. He had no idea how much that moment stuck with me. However, he would. He left that night and I set about ‘dyslexifying’ the room. Imagine everything in the room was now its mirror image down the middle of it. it was a typical dorm room, so I think many of us had a side of the room in this experience.
I went as far as reversing the icons on his computer screen, every book on the shelf, and the content of each drawer. I took pictures of the room before so that each detail could be perfectly recreated in its mirror image. It took six hours and I was aided by many of his friends which added to the prank as then he’d have fewer people to talk about it with who wasn’t in on it. To top it off, when he came in to see the room I acted that nothing was different, and to this day never admitted that I had done anything. Welcome to my dyslexic life.”
26. Want To Keep Your Free Cable? Don't Mess With The Cable Guy
“I used to be a service tech for a major ISP. Back in the analog days, if you only paid for internet service, we were supposed to put a trap on the line that blocked the analog TV channels without affecting the internet frequencies.
I get a call from a customer having trouble with her Internet, in an apartment building. I get there and immediately find the two issues causing her problem…
First, the drop cable to her apartment was damaged, and it was run in a way that we book that work out to a contractor. The second issue is that her modem was at the end of a loop-through run. She had 3 splitters set up to feed her TVs, and then it hit the modem.
I tell her that since she doesn’t pay for TV service, I needed to disconnect the splits (never mentioned removing them, I just needed the levels at the modem to look within spec).
I couldn’t justify spending a bunch of time running a dedicated line in a home that wasn’t supposed to have any splits, but the bad drop was the worst issue, so I was hoping to just BS my way through this job so I could get to the next one. The modems were polled when we closed jobs, and the ones that failed were counted against us.
Before I can start explaining all this, she just blows up on me. Starts cursing me, calling me a worthless moron, telling me she had free cable because that’s what the rep told her 20 years ago (probably not knowing I could see her entire account). After about 10 minutes of abuse, I tell her fine, I’m booking the drop and asked her to sign.
I walked outside to my truck, grabbed a trap, and hooked it up to her drop. I called in and had it documented. I asked my dispatcher to include ‘Don’t remove trap’ in the drop order. A couple of weeks later I swung back by to make sure and ended up installing another trap on the new line.
Don’t anger the cable guy when you’re stealing cable. Most of us have better things to worry about.”
25. Cheating Your Way Through Life Will Eventually Come Back To Bite You
“For a while, I worked as a web designer in a small ad agency serving a very niche industry. Previously, the design team had no creative lead and was all sort of operating independently across varying clients. We decided to hire a creative director to fill that gap, and I was given the task of sorting through and giving first-round interviews to find the person who would later become my supervisor.
Two candidates, in particular, stood out from the rest for very different reasons. One was exceptionally talented, an all-around nice guy, and somebody who generally would have been great for the role. The other, let’s call him John, had mediocre talent, came across as an insufferable, arrogant jerk, but had previous experience working within the niche industry that we serviced. He also had contacts within that industry that could lead to new business.
Despite my strong recommendation to not hire John, his relationships in the industry were too compelling to our agency’s leadership to pass up, and they hired him.
It didn’t take long before the entire company started to realize John was a huge burden. He had nearly zero experience in anything related to digital design. Design for apps, websites, mobile, etc., were all completely and utterly beyond his grasp, but he used his position of relative power to make decisions on those projects that the entire design team refused to support, most of which came back to bite the company in the butt later.
The design team hated him because fixing and working around his screw-ups became part of our daily routine. The sales team hated him because he’d claim it took him unbelievably exaggerated amounts of time to complete even the most trivial of tasks (ex: 4 days to design a business card template), so they wouldn’t even assign him projects anymore. Work that was clearly his responsibility started to rapidly trickle down to the rest of the design team.
We’d be working late nights 4 out of 5 days a week because all of his projects that were in danger of missing deadlines would be re-assigned to us. Meanwhile, he’d be the first to walk out the door every day, right at 5 PM, without fail. On top of all that, the guy was absolute, without a doubt, the biggest tool I’ve ever met. Always right about everything, completely unbending on his idiotic opinions, and completely clueless that literally every person in the building wished he would get hit by a truck.
I genuinely tried to work with him for about a year, until I decided that the job had become intolerable because of him, and wasn’t going to change any time soon, so I turned in my two-week notice. About a month after I left, I heard that he had been let go from the job. Shortly after that, I noticed that he had changed his LinkedIn status to show that he was working for a new agency I had never heard of, also servicing that same niche industry.
I looked them up, and quickly figured out that he had started his own agency… a primarily digital agency… when he had NO experience in digital or interactive design and had literally messed up every digital/interactive project he’d ever been on (I know because most of them were reassigned to me when he proved incapable of doing them himself). I looked at the portfolio on his website and found literally project after project of my work.
He was using my work from the ad agency as examples of the work his agency could produce.
I briefly considered contacting him and requesting he remove my work from his portfolio for ethical reasons. But I could already hear his reply in my head. ‘As creative lead, all work done by my team is an extension of my creative direction.’ He’d used similar lines in the past to insert himself into receiving credit on successful projects he’d had zero involvement on.
So instead I sent an email to one of the partners of the agency we both had worked for, saying something along the lines of ‘hey, not sure if you’ve noticed this, but it looks like John is using your company’s intellectual property to directly compete against you… if I had to guess, I’d assume his next step would be to make a move at your client list.’
The reply was short and sweet: ‘Thanks for bringing this to my attention. He’ll be hearing from our attorney in the morning.’ John’s website was brought down less than 24 hours later.”
24. Want To Play Catch? You Asked For It
“I was casually walking my pup in the same area I usually do. It’s a nice trail surrounding a wetlands reserve and there’s generally a lot of dog walkers and people riding bikes. The schools around here just let out for the day and there was a group of three boys riding their bikes coming from behind me. I could hear their muffled talking and giggling and all of a sudden they were a few feet behind me and one of them yelled, ‘Hey! Catch!’ and threw some crumpled paper at me.
I couldn’t care less about the paper but the yelling scared my little pup so I was naturally angry, but being awkward, I didn’t say anything. What am I going to do? Beat up some kids? I did have my pup’s steamy tater tots in a bag and as they rode off I lightly tossed it. By God it landed in one of the kid’s hoodies…
AND HE DIDN’T NOTICE. They were too busy cackling away at how they, ‘Got eeemmmm.’ I saw them riding ahead and it took maybe a hundred yards before he noticed there were some little round brown dumplings in his hood. He screamed and threw the bag onto the ground while the other two died laughing. They looked back at me but I was so far behind them that they just rode onward.
I also couldn’t help myself and laughed as I picked up the poo and threw it out a few minutes later. You know… got to be a good citizen and all that.”
23. Spoil Our Room? We'll Spoil Your Date
“Lived with 3 other guys my junior year of college in a nice apartment. Everyone was cool except one jagoff who was absolutely filthy. He never put anything away or cleaned anything, even old rotten food. Eventually his room got so nasty he couldn’t use it anymore to study so he’d study in the living room and treat that like his own room. He’d get super combative any time you even politely asked him to put something away, so after a while, we started taking his old rotten food and putting it in his room under his bed or in the closet.
He was so nasty though that he didn’t even notice/remember.
Cut to one night about a month later and he finally gets this girl to come over to our place that he’d been trying to get with forever. So he’s frantically cleaning his room up but doesn’t get all the rotten food hidden, and doesn’t even notice the smell since he’d been living in it for so long. Needless to say, the girl definitely did notice the smell and ‘remembered something else she had to do’ and got the heck out after like 10 minutes.”
22. You Want To Mess With Our Relationship? I'll Mess With Your Pantry
“My aunt once found out that her significant other was seeing someone else on her. Instead of confronting him, she wanted to get petty revenge. She knew where he kept his hide-a-key, so one day while he was at work she spent the whole day at his house. She rearranged all the furniture (brought the upstairs furniture downstairs and vice versa). She also took all the canned goods in his pantry, steamed off the labels, shuffled them, and put them back on at random. This included the canned dog food. Jerkhead would think he was opening some soup and NOPE! Dog food. When she left she locked up, put the key back, and never spoke to him again.”
21. Want To Upset Me? I'll Mess With Your Drink
“My wife is very picky about the mugs she has for different hot drinks: Tall mugs for coffee, wide mugs for tea, dainty cups for fruit teas.
When she’s being irritating and asks for a cup she gets very plain, boring builders mugs and I delight at the mild irritation it brings.”
Another User Comments:
“This is something I do to my English partner! If I’m mad at him but want to make a peace offering, I’ll make him a cup of tea… but make it slightly wrong so he knows I’m mad at him. Like slightly over-brewed, too much milk, not enough milk, in one of the crappy mugs, left out a little to get to slightly less than hot temperatures…” EmpressTurtle
20. Public Humiliation Payback For The Prankster
“Back when I was studying engineering, it occurred to me to try to find an app on my iPhone for those Panasonic projectors in lecture rooms. So I get the app and it just lets me connect to the one in the class without a password or anything. I have a friend who is one of those perpetual pranksters, you can’t leave your PC or bag or food/drink unattended when he’s around.
So I beam a picture of him onto the projector, so the lecturer is just talking away and this goofy picture of my friend is on the screen. The lecturer doesn’t realize yet, but people in the lecture start waking up and giggling a bit. Now I use the pen function and draw a rude illustration of the male anatomy on the picture too. My friend was red in the face and trying to hide. The lecturer finally noticed and says ‘Michael why is there a picture of you on the screen?’
Finally, for a fleeting moment, I actually wrecked that jerk.”
19. Mess With Me In Court? I'll Mess With Your Belongings
“In Texas, there is a law that allows the US to take certain possessions to satisfy a debt owed, such as from a lawsuit. So this defendant had been committing Medicare fraud, got caught, has to pay back the money. He’s also a total jerk during the lawsuit — obstructionist, rude, etc. When the US finally has its judgment and he’s pleading poverty, the US Attorney that ran the suit basically ends up walking through the ‘impoverished’ guy’s multi-million dollar house to handpick what is going to be seized.
He takes the big-ticket items that he’s allowed, but it’s not going to be enough — so then he just starts taking little things to anger the guy. Book half-read on the nightstand? Gone. Can’t take the garage — but you can take the garage door opener, so…gone. I don’t know what else he took but I think the idea is brilliant. The book would anger me off so much.”
Another User Comments:
“Let’s see…
TV remotes, pillowcases, all the spoons but leave the forks, the doormat so no one can wipe their feet, the batteries out of the smoke detectors, and any nice picture frames (leaving the photos of course). I would also say all the toilet paper, the toothbrushes, and the left shoe from every pair he owned, but I’m guessing ‘personal effects’ were immune?” karmagirl314
Another User Comments:
“Take the forks and knives, l leave the spoons. You ever try to eat spaghetti with a spoon? Or cut a steak with one?” westartedafire
18. Forget To Turn Off The Heater? Let Me Permanently Help You With That
“My roommate used to leave his heater on full blast when he would sleep and I’ll give you one guess who paid the electric bill. He would sometimes forget to turn it off for work which of course made me even more mad. One day I had enough. Instead of being an adult and asking him to turn it down and or off when he left I pulled the heater off the wall and unwired it. No kidding he spent about 3 hours trying to figure out how to fix it. I was so satisfied when he couldn’t get it to work. He literally had to plug 2 wires back in.”
17. Let's See What Happens When You "Accidentally" Miss Your Stop
“When I was a kid my younger brother and I would go for extra Mandarin lessons after school. Then we’d take the bus back. He would never press the bell for the bus to stop because he knew I’d freak out and press the bell rather than miss the stop. So, one day when he was sitting on the bus but in front of me, I made sure to get off the stop before ours.
I laughed my butt off when I saw the bus miss not just our stop but disappear into the distance. Petty? Sure. But I was about 12.”
Another User Comments:
“I lived in Scottsdale, AZ at the time, and some friends were coming into town to visit my roommate and me. We went tubing at the salt river. This river has certain spots that you can get hung up in, so you just want to steer yourself away from them.
My roommate refused to ever help us paddle away from those spots. Our friends who were visiting got a kick out of my frustration with this and joined in. There is a spot where you’re supposed to get off and get on a bus that brings you back to your car. Nobody would help steer, so I said forget it, let’s just see what happens. We got caught up in a fast part of the river, floated into a bunch of branches of an overhanging tree, almost drowned, lost our cooler and beverages, and had all of the tubes stuck in the tree.
The tubes were all tied together, so we cut the rope and they all floated down the river. One friend went after them and was able to save the tubes. My roommate had left the tree, and came back around on the side to help from land, and walked into a beehive and got stung about 20 times. He wasn’t allergic and didn’t die. But he did get stung. Made me happy.” ih8silversufer
16. I'll Gladly Take A 0 If It Means My Bully Fails The Class
“In 9th grade, I was the nerd everyone treated like a doormat. We had a geometry class in which we had to work in pairs to design a pyramid, and of course I got paired with an annoying dumb girl. She failed to contact me at all in the 2 weeks we had for the project. The weekend before it was due, I calculated how a 0% would affect my grade.
I would still get an A, but it would make her fall below the threshold to continue participating in varsity volleyball (I roughly knew her grades from gossip that she was under the threshold in one class already and couldn’t fall under in another or she’d miss a tournament).
That Monday, our professor called up our groups one by one to drop off their pyramid. When she called our names, the idiot girl looked at me and smiled. I’ll never forget her face when I just said ‘we didn’t do it.’ The teacher looked up, nodded, and went back to her grade book.
The girl didn’t get to go to that tournament, and curiously enough everyone who ended up in groups with me suddenly became very eager to ask me what I wanted them to do for the project.”
15. You Only Pretend To Like Me? I'll Make Sure You Fail Your Test
“In 5th grade, I had a friend, we’ll call her S.
We had a math exam that was very important… the night before one of my friends told me that S didn’t actually like me or want anything to do with me. I was hurt because we hung out every day (she was mad about a boy who liked me and not her. In his defense my brother was friends with him and she had no connections other than knowing I knew him because of my brother).
Well after I heard what she said, I was upset. She then came up to me like nothing was wrong.
‘Hey girl, we have that math exam today, mind if I copy off your answers? You’re better at math than me. Just circle the answers really big on the worksheet so I know which one is right.’
I agreed.
But.
After I did the work, I would put a small dash next to the correct answers and I would put a large circle around the wrong answers.
(I threw in a few correct ones as to not be too mean) We had scantrons. She was filling it out as she saw my answers but I waited to fill mine until after she turned her test in. Then I also went back and circle the correct answers so my teacher wouldn’t be all ‘what up did YOU cheat because you circled all these wrong but passed..’
When we got out exams back S told me
‘Wow we got 35’s that is really bad. We should really consider going to tutoring.’
I got a 95 but told her I also got a 35. Lol. Sorry not sorry, S.”
14. Steal My Salad Dressing? I'll Add In Extra Gross Flavours
“In seventh grade I used to take home-made lunch to school. We prepared our own salad dressing (lemon juice, salt, oil, etc), and one kid decided it would be a good idea to steal it, and drink it before lunchtime. I asked him not to, but he continued to drink it but started doing so in one gulp so I couldn’t stop him. So instead of making a huge deal, I prepared two salad dressings.
One that I would actually use on my salad, and another that had all the liquid condiments I could find in my mom’s kitchen. It was really fun to see his face as he drank it.
He never stole my salad dressing again.”
Another User Comments:
“A friend of mine used to help herself to my food and drinks in high school. One day I brought in a bottle of vinegar/water mixture for an art project I was working on and didn’t warn her. She never took my stuff again.” whatofit
13. Mess With My Property? No More Mr. Nice Neighbor.
“Where I live you need to have a residence permit to park in our street. Costs like £20 ($27) a year at most. Next door neighbor’s car breaks down outside our house. See it has no permit. Parked really badly, but no big deal we can get past it.
A few days later we find a huge dog poop in our garden. Our garden is all closed off so a dog couldn’t have just wandered in.
Neighbors have a dog so nowhere else it could’ve come from – they must’ve thrown it over the fence.
After that I called the local council about his car and he’s now looking at an £80+ ($108) fine for not having a permit.”
Another User Comments:
“My old coworker had neighbors throwing their dog’s poop in her yard. One day when she had had enough, she waited till her neighbor was outside mowing the lawn, and using a shovel, she threw the dog poop over the fence at her, and hit her neighbor right in the face with it.” Mumbojumbowumbofumbo
12. Years Of Bad Management Leads To So Much Revenge
“I’ve had many issues with this one property management company (XYZ Property Management.) I signed a lease on a townhouse while in college that ‘included high-speed internet’ … the setup was basically one crappy router for 14 townhouses (so like 28 people). Needless to say, it was garbage, and the location of our unit vs. the router made it worse. We made some calls to try and get them to add a router or hardwire kit in so we could add our own.
No dice.
Eventually, I paid to get my own service and added 2 routers in our unit. I changed the SSID (network name) to match what the ‘free’ router was, and kept the passwords the same… so to the residents, it looked like there was better coverage.
After about two weeks I changed one router’s password and just disconnected the other. So some residents could use the ‘free’ router, some had a bad password, and some could connect but couldn’t reach the outside world.
They must have been flooded with calls because within 24 hours they had someone out and added 3 new routers to help with coverage.
Another issue I had with them was after a huge snowfall (24″ in 24 hours) …. the property management company hadn’t touched the snow in our parking lot for days … after day 3 I called to mention we were sort of trapped and they needed to send trucks/snow blowers/etc.
to take care of things… the response I got was basically ‘Sorry, we’ll get to it sooner or later.’
I created a new Yahoo email address and used their general @Xpropertymanagement as the alternate email. I had it copy every email to both. I then signed up for alerts for every time there was an eBay listing for ‘snowplow,’ ‘snowblower,’ ‘snow shovel,’ or if there was a ‘sale on X snow removal’ gear….
it took a matter of hours before thousands of emails were sent. Ended up crashing their email server.
They responded to all residents with a very nice email explaining they get the frustration, and they’re working on it…. so I paused the alerts. 24 hours later, still nothing, alerts back on. Another email, another pause, another day of nothing, repeat. Eventually, we got the driveway plowed and life was good.
In my 3rd year of school, I and 5 other guys rented a 6 bedroom house from this awesome couple. Lady was the D.A. in town, the husband managed the houses they had … super cool, very responsive, and just great landlords. Year 4 we stay at the house (all 6 of us), but Cool Owners sub the management duties out to XYZ Property Management – who control like 95% of the rentals in this town.
No major changes other than everything now takes forever to get taken care of, but whatever, we deal with it. Move-out time comes and we get a call from XYZ saying they don’t have a damage report for the house … so every piece of damage they find will be charged to us. We’re all angry since the house had its share of damage prior to our move-in.
I called the owner (D.A. Lady) and asked how damages are fixed if it is outside of the security deposit amount for us, and fill her in on what they’re doing. She said that in the management agreement they are responsible for all damage as of the date they’ve taken over (unless it requires an insurance claim). She advised me to go ahead and stick them with the bill since she knew we filled out a damage sheet on move-in and we kept it in good shape.
I found the original damage slip from two years prior, updated it accordingly with any new items, copied, crumpled it up a bit, a coffee stain or two for aging …. and upon walk-through when they mentioned we would be stuck with all repairs, I presented a copy of the damage report from our move-in two years prior. They then asked to have that copy and they would send us a new copy when they got back to the office; which we declined.
Then they said they couldn’t honor it because it wasn’t their letterhead and from a prior owner …. who still owned it. We called the D.A. and she took our side citing that they should have taken care of them when they took over and she might have to re-think her contract with them …. 100% security refund for all of us.
Year 5 Townhouse (yeah, 5-year plan….) had our lease start on July 1st, but both my roomie and I had internships and couldn’t get there until around Labor Day.
I drove to the apt. to drop off a load of my stuff for the year and pick up the keys. I sign for the keys and go on my way, within 10 seconds of walking into the apt. an overwhelming stink overwhelms my nose. Someone had closed up the fridge, then unplugged it…. the mold was out of control. I call them and explain what’s going on and they tell me that it’s my problem since I didn’t report it within 48 hours of July 1st (lease start date).
I kindly reminded them I picked up the keys 15 minutes ago and had not been there … no luck from them. 15 minutes on Google lead me to the State Health Dept (which my mother works for) requirements for apartments …. there is a blurb that said something along the lines of ‘If mold is found in X unit, all adjoining units must be tested and be given full remediation.’ I called one more time and said I need a new fridge, or could clean it myself but would be withholding the portion of rent for my time and cleaning materials…
They denied me. I copied all the managers at XYZ Property Management and my mother / her boss who had health dept .gov email addresses; the basics of the email was what I found, photos, and a snapshot of the state statute I mentioned. Within 60 seconds of the email going out, I had a call from XYZ, an angry call. We ended up not having to pay rent for July, August, Sept, and October.
The final thing was XYZ always used our apartment for their showings since we had a pretty bomb multi tv and projector set up in the basement. The problem was they wouldn’t give the required 24-hour heads up …. they would knock with a group of people and say ‘Sorry guys, but unit # was supposed to let us in, but whatever excuse…. can we quick see yours so they don’t have to reschedule’…..
we always said yes because I felt bad that these other kids would get jammed up. We asked a few times that they start calling ahead like they legally have to, but it fell on deaf ears. Eventually we found out one of the managers who did a lot of showings had an embarrassing legal history. I used the plotter on campus to print out some of these charges (all public knowledge) and some really unflattering photos that went with each from his Book of Faces …. we hung them all over the apartment and waited. Two days later, random showing. The look on his face was priceless, that was the last showing he gave there; others in the office still came by though.”
11. Being Happy Is The Best Kind Of Revenge For Bitter People
“Let me explain something about Chinese (Shanghai) culture. Old Chinese think that it’s really shameful to have a son near 30 who is still not married, cause it means that you are not a good parent for not having found a good bride for your son, you are too poor to afford a marriage ceremony, or your son is ugly. People are going to speak ill about you and your family.
The pressure is pretty high and everyone tends to want a grandchild (better if MALE ) as soon as possible.
My mother got sick 5 years ago in China, we are emigrants so she doesn’t have insurance there. Her treatment went for more than $30,000 and we went broke. Since her aunts and uncles still owed her some money she asked for some back, but guess what? They denied it and let her continue to be sick and wait for death, cause they didn’t need the friendship of someone broken.
I had to quit school and work to help her. After 4 years she was cured and I got myself a family, had two sons, and bought a house with the help of my in-law’s business. Everything turned out just fine. Last year I took my sons to China and went to visit all of them as the tradition says and they gave me the red pocket money for my sons with a sour face, so I asked my mom why. She told me that her aunt and uncle’s sons are still single (all of them) and I have not one but two children. I spent the whole night pointing out how wonderful it is to have children.”
10. Keep Stinking Up The Bathroom And You'll Never See Toilet Paper Again
“We had a guy in our office take a crap in the bathroom every day after lunch and it would stink up the whole office. The manager asked everyone who needed to vacate their bowels to please use the lobby bathroom since our office was small and we only had the one bathroom. He didn’t listen. Fortunately, he was like clockwork so 5 minutes before he went in I took all the toilet paper….
that’s right. I forced the man to live with a dirty butt.
Another User Comments:
“But then everyone would have to smell him…….
At best he went to the other bathroom and got streak marks on his underpants.” NCSUGrad2012
Author Comments:
“A small price to pay. That day the smell was a bit worse. However he learned his lesson. Kind of. At the very least he was not doing it daily anymore. Until he started doing it daily again anyways… which was probably about two weeks later.” Link-to-the-Pastiche
9. If I Can't Have It, Neither Can Anyone Else
“In 3rd grade I was falsely accused by the hall monitor of talking during quiet time. Even after my dad came in and talked to the teacher she still punished me by keeping me from watching a movie and eating the cinnamon bread with everyone else. So the day before the class watched the movie and ate snacks, I unplugged the breadmakers right before we left school so no one would get any. I figured if I can’t have it, no one can.”
8. Ditch Class? I'll Ruin Your Chance At Leadership
“In my high school history class, I really had to go to the bathroom. A girl was already out and we were only allowed to leave one at a time. Fine. However, this girl often goes to the bathroom then just hangs out and is gone for like 30 minutes.
So after 20 minutes I really had to go. I asked to use the bathroom, DENIED. Teacher said someone was out already.
I said she has been out for almost the entire class, I need to go. Someone texts the girl, she appears. Looks angry. She yells at me in the hall.
This girl was trying to become our homeroom class president. Not really a serious position, but it was leadership and college apps usually need some kind of leadership spot. So it was an easy checkmark on the app.
Class was about 30 kids. Two people were running. That girl and another. They said their 2-minute speeches. At the point where we cast our votes, I had a little group of the class (friends) vote for another one of us: a guy she hated and who didn’t care about anything. So he won as a write-in. He was elected and she lost her little check box to a guy that didn’t even want the spot.
I don’t know if it made a difference, but I knew she thought that her college chances just decreased.”
Another User Comments:
“Learned it the hard way myself, don’t listen to authority when it comes to bodily autonomy.
If the choice is pee yourself or break a rule, make the decision and don’t let someone make it for you.
I was in second grade. They didn’t pick me when I raised my hand and thus I couldn’t petition for bathroom access.
Angered myself.
Third grade, needed to go to the bathroom and repeated situation. They tried to restrain me, I told them I can either pee now or at the bathroom, either way I wasn’t going back to my seat before I was done.
If you need to go: you tell them, they don’t tell you.” mesalikes
Another User Comments:
“I’m on great terms with my teachers, so when I go I tell them and walk out.
It’s not retaliation, I get dehydrated very quickly and drink about 3 bottles of water during the school day (so half a bottle each period, which we have 6 of). I also don’t loiter, literally 2mins and I’m back in class.
One time we had a sub who would not let me go – I didn’t do my ‘walk out thing’ as she wasn’t my regular teacher.
I was absolutely busting, I started getting a stomach cramp and then a headache. I was feeling really unwell for some reason, felt nauseous and kind of faint. Told her, said I was lying.
I walked up to her desk when the busyness subsided a little to ask her a question about the classwork, and a massive nosebleed pours out of my left nostril like a faucet and gets all over her ‘new white blouse’ which she’d talked about earlier.
I didn’t do it on purpose, I had no control about where my blood went but I still felt bad.
However, not bad enough that I wasn’t going to say ‘I’m going to the bathroom to get a tissue,’ smile sweetly and walk out.
Forget you Ms. L! I just needed to take a pee.” allevana
7. Won't Let Me Ride My Bike? I'll Just Run You Over
“Best friend/next-door neighbor was telling me I couldn’t ride my bicycle on her sidewalk in front of her house. I was like, uh the sidewalk is public property I can ride my bicycle anywhere I want. She proceeded to lay down on the sidewalk between our houses. So I got up some speed, and ran over her with my bike. We got into a fistfight after, but it was so satisfying to run her over. She was a giant brat. She may have been my best friend because she was the only other kid that lived on my street.”
6. Try To Cut Me Off On The Road? I'll Send You In The Wrong Direction
“Guy swerved across two lanes on the highway one day and cut me off. I slammed on the brakes and gave a good indignant blow of my horn. He starts acting like Mr. Angry for being called out so he starts slamming on his brakes, then speeds up if I try to overtake, flipping me the bird, the whole caboodle.
Seeing the next junction coming up I flash my lights and start beckoning to him in classic ‘you want a piece of me?’ mime, and mouthing ‘come on then’.
Then start pointing at the upcoming junction. He obviously believes I actually want to go somewhere quiet and sort it out like jerk men. I swerve angrily into the exit lane and he follows suit. Finally, I blow my horn and point at something on the junction then, while he’s distracted, swerve back out onto the main highway and speed up so I’m level with him so he can’t get back over. He looks over in a panic, I smile and blow him a kiss.
The junction ends and he’s stuck sailing off wherever the junction takes him. It’s a 24-mile round trip to get back to here.”
5. Hog Up All The Cool Air? Let's See How Much Cold You Can Handle
“Went on holiday with my friend and her family when we were in our early teens and had to share the room. It was a hot climate and since we came from a relatively cold climate, we found the heat unbearable. Friend called dibs on the bed by the air con, then proceeds to take complete control of it. The room was a sauna and obviously, I couldn’t sleep, but she refused to turn up the AC because since she was right next to it she would get cold.
By the third night in, after refusing my request to swap beds, I am beyond irritable due to sleep deprivation and she’s inadvertently mocking me by sleeping soundly next to the barely functioning AC. So I turned that thing up full pelt while she was snoring away and had the best night’s sleep thereafter. Woke up before her and turned it back down so when she finally woke with a sore throat and the sniffles she agreed to swap beds with me, and I only slightly felt bad that she had a bit of a sore throat for the rest of the trip.”
4. Try To Con Me? I'm One Step Ahead Of You
“Back in college, I used to write papers on the side. I charged $50 per paper. I wrote the paper, they paid me then I gave it to them. This one chick needed me to write a quick research essay due in a week. No problem.
She gave me the paper she had started, so I could match writing styles. And we went our separate ways. Over the week, she kept asking for the price to be dropped.
She was a friend and I’m a nice person. No problem. $30. Then $20. Fine. Easy 3-page paper. It’s cool.
She tells a buddy of ours that she wasn’t going to pay my dumb butt at all but was going to fake a ‘running late, I’ll pay you after class’ deal so I’d give her the paper. Now I’m not one to believe a rumor, but this is a source of income for me.
So I wrote a 2nd paper just in case.
Sure enough, the next morning, two minutes before class, she comes running into class and is all ‘I’ll pay you after.’ So I handed her the second paper.
The first page and the work cited page were 100%. 2nd and 3rd page? Sheer gibberish of paragraphs clearly lifted out of random Internet sites that I so helpfully added a work cited page with the links to the sites I lifted them from.
You get what you pay for.”
3. Sometimes Honesty Is The Best Revenge
“I had a 6-month school internship at a mobile phone store. The boss was a total jerk who treated his school interns like full-paid workers (even gave me some concerning money responsibilities).
A while after the internship he called to tell me I would have to give a statement at court. He had a problem with some customer and a shipment and he planned to tell the court that he explained everything to me concerning shipping precisely.
Of course, he didn’t. And of course, I didn’t lie in front of the judge. My boss’s attorney gave me a look I will never forget when he realized his stupid plans didn’t work out. A few weeks later my now ex-boss tried to call me again. I didn’t pick up. Forget this guy.”
Another User Comments:
“Not quite the same but I was doing work experience in the office of a company I also worked for (swimming teacher for them, but as work experience went into the office).
A call came in from some courier saying their shipment had arrived and had a customs charge. My boss told me to say we didn’t want it anymore. The courier required an email so I wrote the email then got the boss to confirm.
A week or so later he asks where that order is and I tell him what happened last week. He says he ‘didn’t say that’ and it’s my fault. Fortunately, someone else overheard the conversation and backed me up.
And the petty revenge? I immediately left both jobs which left him in trouble. I had other things lined up anyway.” [deleted]
2. Unfaithful Ex Wants Her Stuff Back? I'll Show Her What She's Been Missing
“My partner was disployal, so we broke up obviously, and we had to go through the ‘exchanging all of our stuff from each other’s apartments’ ordeal. She asked me to send pictures of everything of hers so she could tell me what she wanted back. One of the items of hers was my shower curtain. A few nights prior, I had 3 girls over to my apartment, and they were in my bathroom for a while which I thought was strange.
Apparently, they were taking naughty pictures of each other in my bathroom because they sent them to me after they left. The picture of these 3 girls was conveniently right in front of my ex’s shower curtain. So I sent dozens of pictures to my ex of all her stuff and one of them was titled ‘your shower curtain’ and the attached picture was the one with 3 topless girls in front of her curtain. I’m not incredibly proud of what I did. It was incredibly petty, and probably over the line, but I was pretty mad at the time.”
1. Wake Me Up Again And I'll Use Your Bedroom Door As A Hockey Net
“My least favorite college roommate was also one of my best friends. He was the drum set guy. DUDE COME ON IT’S 1 AM ON TUESDAY. No reprieve.
He also invented ‘knee hockey’ which was street hockey, on your knees, in the hallway of our tiny condo-type dorm.
I whined about it all the time. BRO COME ON. He’d be all ‘ok ok no problem’ and then go back to it.
Anyway, one night HE had a big important thing one morning.
I grabbed a hockey stick and just slammed the crap out of his bedroom door. I slammed it until he had no choice but to get out of bed and be angry.
He came storming out eventually and we wrestled on the ground for a while but I feel like it was worth it.”
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