People Seek Confirmation That They're At Fault In Their "Am I The Jerk" Stories

We never really intend to be impolite to other people. But occasionally, when things get crazy and we're feeling really irritated, we could unknowingly react jerkily. But despite that, I know we can all aspire to be better versions of ourselves and avoid acting like jerks with a little mindfulness and a dash of kindness. These people below are looking to see if they have ever been unpleasant to others in any way so they can make amends. After reading their stories, let us know which of them you believe are jerks. AITJ = Am I the jerk? NTJ = Not the jerk WIBTJ = Would I be the jerk? YTJ = You're the jerk

37. AITJ For Refusing To Leave Our Son Out Of A Family Vacation?

“This all started back in March. My son’s best friend turned thirteen. In his family, the thirteenth birthday is a huge deal. In addition to a massive party (which all four of us were invited to), his parents also took him to Disney World.

They invited my son to attend as well.

My wife was hesitant to consent to this. She said it was unfair to allow our son to go when our nine-year-old daughter can’t. Especially since she loves Disney and princesses. I said that our kids won’t always have the exact same opportunities, and if we set a precedent here, we’ll have to stick to it if and when our daughter gets a similar opportunity.

So we’d just be punishing both our children needlessly. My wife reluctantly agreed that we should allow our son to go.

I gave our son a budget to buy his sister souvenirs. He did, and his friend’s parents even bought extra stuff for him to give to her.

Still, when she saw him come back wearing a Star Wars shirt with the Mickey hat and trading pin lanyard, she burst into tears. My wife later said we made a huge mistake and never should have let him go.

I (mistakenly) thought all of that was behind us. Now, we are not well off financially, but my BiL is, and he invited all of us to visit a beach house he rented for a summer send-off. My wife told me she wants to have our son stay with my dad and just take our daughter to ‘even the score.’

I told my wife that it wasn’t happening. We are their parents. We can’t favor one child over the other. Not being invited to the birthday trip of a kid you barely know is in no way comparable to being left out of a ‘family vacation’ and I’m shocked she would even suggest such a thing.

I refuse to allow it. Now my wife is angry, but I don’t care. I’m not punishing my son for being lucky. AITJ?”

4 points - Liked by lebe, Turtlelover60, LilVicky and 1 more

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Panders 4 months ago
NTJ can tell who your wife's favorite child is
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36. AITJ For Moving Out And Getting My Bed Back From My Sister?

“I (18 f) had grandparents who owned a farm close to where I grew up. As young as I can remember my grandparents would offer us small jobs for some coins.

My sister (20 f) always spent hers the minute she got it. I on the other hand wanted to save it. Eventually, my grandpa opened a savings account for me.

When my sister and I started high school my grandparents made a deal with us.

We would get a certain amount upon graduation. If we also took church classes and graduated from their seminary at the same time they would double the amount.

My sister didn’t want to wake up early for the seminary classes.

I bike to class every morning. Then I went to work at a local daycare after school. My sister hung out with her friends.

My sister ended up getting married at 17.

After she became pregnant, she lived with my parents.

I came home from work and found they switched beds. They took the bed I paid for because it was a Queen and hers was only a full. I was told my sister and her husband needed more space. At the time I let them know I wasn’t happy.

My mom told me I didn’t have a choice. Her house her rules.

Once I graduated I got the money from my grandparents I opened my own savings account. My mom was constantly asking for it. She said that my sister needed it to move out so they could have more space before my niece got too big for her toddler bed.

I decided to move out and get my own place. Without talking to anyone about it. When I moved my family was gone. I took my bed back. I did move and set my sister’s old bed back up. (It’s a full).

My mom is calling me non-stop. She is saying I am a jerk for not helping my sister. She then demanded I take my bed back.

Am I the jerk here? Should I have given my family more time to adjust to my move?

I should also note that the bed is part of a bedroom set. When my sister took the bed the rest of the set stayed in my room.”

4 points - Liked by lebe, Turtlelover60, LilVicky and 1 more

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Ishouldntbehere2 4 months ago
NTJ. Your sisters choices are not your responsibility. If your parents want to take responsibility they are welcome to but you are now an adult and your own person. Good on you for escaping, I moved out at 19 to escape family drama and yet they still managed to pull me back so you would be within your rights to go low to no contact to avoid that too.
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35. AITJ For Wanting To Spend Mother's Day Without My Kids?

“I (40-something mom with elementary-aged kids) love my kids more than words, yadda yadda.

My husband is awesome and we have a great relationship. He definitely does his share of child-rearing (not exactly 50/50 due to the logistics of our jobs) but definitely does more housework than I do. We are really one of those happy families.

(I can hear Keith Morrison on our Dateline intro now…)

But. I’m TIRED. And crave QUIET. I do drop-off every morning because my husband goes to work at 6 a.m. Getting the kids up, dressed, fed, packed, and off to school – ranges from seamless cheerful mornings (rare) all the way to all of us screaming and crying and punishments threatened (luckily also rare).

But, kids will be kids and so the 10th time of ‘Mom? Mom? Maaam? Maaaaaammmm!’ from two floors away (while I’m in the bathroom no less), combined with ‘X hit me’, ‘Y stole my spoon’, ‘I forgot to do my homework’, ‘I can’t find my shoes’, drive me crazy.

I work a full day at a semi-demanding job where I talk to people most hours of the day. Weekends are generally pretty chill without too many commitments with maybe an hour or two where the kids are preoccupied and I can have ‘me time’ to read a book or stare at TikTok or whatever.

Hubs volunteered to take the kids Friday afternoon to FIL’s house and be back Sunday afternoon. (Mother’s Day). I love this idea as it gives me TWO mornings to sleep in and an entire full day to myself.

Plus the kids love FIL’s house and will have a blast.

Well – to hear others’ reactions – the fact that I will wake up Sunday morning to a quiet house obviously means I am a horrible person and really don’t love my kids at all.

I mean, (gasp!) what MOTHER doesn’t want to spend Mother’s Day with her CHILDREN! Hi, Yes, that would be me. Someone even told my husband he was the jerk for making Mother’s Day about him and his family (who I love, by the way).

I want time to myself but please tell me – AITJ?”

3 points - Liked by lebe, Turtlelover60 and LilVicky

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rbleah 4 months ago
NOT THE JERK. This sounds like THE BEST MOM's DAY PRESENT hubs could give you. ENJOY
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34. AITJ For Reading My Friend's Significant Other's Messages Out Loud In Front Of Their Friends?

“My dad married Mary when I was three. Mary already had a son, Josh who was ten at the time. My mom passed away while giving birth to me and Josh’s dad also passed. I guess, the two of us bonded over never really getting to meet one of our parents.

I love Mary and Josh. They are my family. Josh and I have always been pretty close. When he got his driver’s licence Josh took me and a bunch of his friends out to the movies. It’s become a tradition between us now.

So basically once a month Josh, his best friend, and I go watch a movie.

I’m 16 now. We had planned to go to the movies about a week ago. I was waiting for my Uber (he couldn’t pick me up because of his work schedule) when I got a text from his phone canceling our plans.

Okay, no biggie. About thirty minutes later I got a call from Josh. He asked me where I was, and I told him, he canceled. Apparently, he never texted me but whatever, we’ll plan the movie some other time.

The next day I get a call from a random number.

I pick up and it’s some girl cussing at me. She shouts at me for being a flirt who sleeps with a taken man. I cut the call. She began to text me a bunch of nasty things that were borderline racist. I never responded and assumed it was a wrong number.

Yesterday, I went to Josh’s apartment to pick up a jacket I left. I entered and Josh was there with some of his friends. I said hi and went to get my jacket. This girl corners me in his bedroom and starts screeching at me for having the audacity to show up.

I just walk away and she follows me and starts calling me names. At this point, everyone’s very confused. It clicked and I asked her if she had messaged me earlier. She says yes so I take out my phone and read all the messages she sent me.

Cue laughter from everyone. It was such a dumb ordeal.

I reach home and Josh basically says that I was in the right but reading the texts was a little over the top and that I embarrassed her for no reason.

Some of his friends texted me and told me I reacted immaturely and was petty. I’m getting lots of advice to apologize now. I thought I didn’t do anything too bad but I’m second-guessing my actions now. AITJ?”

2 points - Liked by lebe and Turtlelover60

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Ishouldntbehere2 4 months ago
NTJ. People who don't want their dirty laundry aired make me laugh. Wash it if you don't want anyone to know about it! It wasn't like you read out someone else's messages, they were sent to you, you can do with said information as you wish.
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33. AITJ For Not Letting My Sister Be My Bridesmaid?

“My brother got engaged in February of last year and his wedding was in September of 2021. My little sister then got engaged in July and had her wedding 2 weeks after my brother’s wedding, in early October.

She (23 F) and her fiancé (28 M) couldn’t keep jobs, consistently spent more than they could afford, and would beg my parents for money. We all asked them not to have a wedding so soon as we didn’t have enough time to plan and they were completely broke.

They refused to wait and couldn’t afford a reception so they just had a small ceremony. I was one of her bridesmaids and helped pay for things. I thought it was fun and beautiful, despite having low budgets and having to rush to plan everything.

I (25 F) got engaged earlier this year and plan on having my wedding this November. I asked her to be one of my bridesmaids and she said yes. I have a great job and have saved a lot in preparation for my wedding so I’ve been very excited to plan it.

As soon as I started sharing details of my wedding plans with my family, my sister would become upset and storm off.

This has happened numerous times so I finally asked her why she became so angry every time I brought up my wedding.

She told me that I was purposely trying to make my wedding better than hers and rubbing it in her face. I told her that wasn’t the case but I was not going to change my wedding plans to anything less spectacular just because she had wanted a big wedding and wouldn’t wait.

She refuses to talk to me after saying she doesn’t want to go to my bachelorette party and that she can’t wait for my wedding to be over. I told her that I no longer wanted her to be a bridesmaid if she couldn’t be happy for me and have a positive attitude.

This has caused huge arguments within our family and my family is telling me she has to be one of my bridesmaids. I keep telling them absolutely not. Am I the jerk for not letting her be my bridesmaid?”

2 points - Liked by lebe and Turtlelover60

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LilVicky 4 months ago
You should just uninvite her period. She’s probably going to make a scene at your wedding just to make sure it gets ruined. She’s jealous & that’s on her, not you. Tell anybody else that wants her to still be a bridesmaid that they can be uninvited too. NTJ
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32. AITJ For Choosing To Spend The Holidays With My Dad's Family Instead Of My Stepmom's?

“My (15 f) parents have 50/50 custody.

I go back by my mom’s tomorrow so Memorial Day is technically by her house.

A couple of weeks ago my dad asked if he could keep me til after Memorial Day because my stepmom’s family is having a family thing.

My mom said no because she was going to take off work and wanted to spend the day with me.

Then my mom decided to work because it’s holiday pay. So she said if I wanted to stay at my dad’s it was fine.

In the meantime, I found out my dad’s side is also doing something Monday so I asked my mom if I could do that instead, and just come home like normal tomorrow. She said yea that was fine as long as someone could drive me to my uncle’s because she’d be working.

I asked my grandparents and they said they’d pick me up on their way.

Yesterday my dad had to drop something off by my grandparents and my grandpa said ‘So we’ll see you Monday’ to me when we were leaving and I said yea.

When we were in the car my dad asked about it and I explained that I was going with them to my uncle’s. First, he got mad at my mom but I said it was my choice and she said I could’ve stayed by him and gone with them but I wanted to go by my uncle’s and mom said it was okay.

He got mad and said that it shouldn’t be my choice, I don’t make the rules parents do and my mom shouldn’t have given me the option. If she works she should have discussed it with him and he would have taken me by stepmom’s family.

He said I can’t just do whatever I want because my parents aren’t together.

He’s acting like I’m going to get into trouble when I’m literally going by his brother, with his parents.

It’s not like I have anything against my stepmom or her family, they’re all really nice and never treat me differently than any other nieces and nephews.

It’s my dad, ever since he got married he blows off our family for my stepmom’s. Whenever both are celebrating Christmas on the same day we go by her side. Not just that but he makes me put on this stupid act around them.

I have to dress up more, and just act differently. The other teenagers will be in shorts and T-shirts, but I have to wear jeans and a nice top. I can’t exactly explain how he makes me act but it stresses me out.

For the record, it’s on him not them.

With our family, I can relax and be myself, wear regular clothes and have fun.


2 points - Liked by lebe and Turtlelover60

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anma7 4 months ago
NTJ… tell mom what he’s said and let her deal with him… tell her exactly about the blowing off his side for stow moms and how you have to dress up etc and let her square that away too.. think he needs to realise your getting to the age where dependant on the state you live in if it went to the court what YOU ask for will overrule what HE DEMANDS you do and he could find himself getting less days cos you can choose for yourself when and where you go with him
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31. AITJ For Letting My Partner Sleep In?

“So I made plans for me and my partner to get up, go work at a coffee shop, then meet my family for lunch, and then go to the market. (Very nice day)

My partner likes to sleep in, and I get up super early 5:30 am-6:00 am.

I told her I wanted to leave early, like 7:00 am because I had a ton of work to do before seeing my family. She expressed how exhausted and tired she was yesterday, so this morning when I woke up at 6:00 am, considering we went to bed at 11:30 pm, I didn’t wake her up and let her sleep.

I got ready to leave and went to give her a kiss goodbye, while telling her ‘Take all the time you need, meet me at the coffee shop, I don’t want to rush you, I know you’re tired’… she all of a sudden gets all cold with me saying ‘OMG why didn’t you wake me up, I thought we were going together’… I expressed that I wanted to let her sleep because I know how tired she was, and that she could just meet me later (later being an hour later so she can get ready, while I get a head start on my work)… I finally leave the house, and she texts me basically saying how she doesn’t understand why I was able to wake her up to say goodbye, but not able to wake her up when I woke up.

She later starts texting me arguing saying that it isn’t fair that we made plans and I’m going off on my own without her. All I wanted to do was make her sleep in more because I knew how tired she was.

She started with the name calling etc., and I told her ‘Instead of arguing with me, since you’re already up, get ready and come’ (the coffee place is 10 minutes away from our house)… she says she doesn’t want to drive there and pay for parking and pay for gas.

I don’t know if she expected me to drive back to pick her up.

I really think she’s being a baby, my solution would be to just get in your car, and drive over… It’s not that difficult.

I apologized for not waking her up, but I genuinely just wanted her to sleep.

She finally basically cancels all our daily plans, and says ‘Have a nice day!’

I’m sitting in the coffee shop alone now, it’s been 2 hours.

She isn’t coming.

So, am I the jerk for leaving while she’s sleeping?”

2 points - Liked by lebe and Turtlelover60

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Panders 4 months ago
Wow overreact much? Dude you were screwed no matter what you did. NTJ
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30. AITJ For Telling My Neighbors To Stop Talking About Inappropriate Topics In Front Of My Kids?

“A couple and their 4 young kids moved in next door about 3 weeks ago. Only one of the children is school-aged. Since they’ve moved in it has been nothing but constant fights and contention.

I constantly hear them screaming at each other and I’m fed up. It lasts all hours of the night. I have 3 kids here myself (12 m, 9 f, 6 m) and we don’t fight in front of the kids like these people do.

Trying not to judge here but I’m just done.

The kids bus stop is directly behind this person’s house in their shared driveway (it’s an apartment complex). Their door is only MAYBE 15 feet from the edge of the driveway. Usually, their fighting is limited to nights but today it was during the day.

Full bore screaming at each other. The woman in the window, the man outside on the sidewalk. Swearing, shouting obscene and highly inappropriate stuff, etc. This lasted all day long.

I get ready to go get my kids off the bus and they are still yelling at each other.

At this point, they are in the shared driveway where the kids’ bus stop is versus the front of their building. I go out and at first, I don’t say anything but then the conversation takes an extremely inappropriate turn and I had to step in and tell them that they had better not speak like that when my kids get off the bus or I WILL be calling the cops (screaming at each other about inappropriate topics).

The other dad at the bus stop agreed and 100% had my back, thank god. Well these people started coming at me and I had no choice but to call the cops while the other dad got between us (I’m 5’1, small woman).

The cops came. The man was arrested. We share the same landlord so the woman calls the landlord to run her mouth and the landlord calls me, mad, saying I’m supposed to call them with complaints and now I’ve caused unwanted attention.


2 points - Liked by lebe and Turtlelover60

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anma7 4 months ago
NTJ… tell the landlord exactly what you have all been dealing with that the bloke came at you you have a witness and that’s fine you will report to him EVERYTIME they start irrespective of the hour of day or night… you also need to start recording them too so you have audio of it from inside your property too, contact the school see if they can help seeing how it’s their pupils getting off at that stop and it’s not good if other kids see hear it and tell their parents.. if enough of you complain the landlord will have to take action
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29. AITJ For Not Sharing My Fries With My Cousin?

“My uncle and cousin are in town for a visit. Yesterday they and my mom went over to my aunt’s for dinner. I had to work but said I’d come over after.

My cousin Theo (11) has a problem with food.

He’s a picky eater but when it’s food that he likes (pizza, chicken nuggets, etc.) He hogs it. When they were in town last time we got 2 pizzas for 4 people (my mom, uncle, Theo, and I) and Theo ate a whole pizza by himself.

He does this all the time, if you offer him some of something he takes the whole bag then refuses to give it back and eats them all. I’m talking little stuff like candy, and bigger stuff like an order of appetizers meant to be shared.

My uncle just thinks it’s funny and Theo will grow out of it but the older he gets the worse he gets. He’s also overweight and my uncle thinks he’ll grow out of that too.

I stopped at McDonald’s on my way to my aunt’s because I was hungry.

I didn’t ask if anyone else wanted anything because A) they already had dinner and B) Theo always wants something and my uncle never reimburses, I’m 18 with a part-time job I didn’t feel like paying 20-30 bucks for Theo to have a snack/second dinner and I’m sure he would have wanted several things.

So I got to my aunt’s and ate quickly. Theo started whining to my uncle that he wanted McDonald’s. My uncle asked if I brought anything for Theo and I said ‘No, because you guys already ate, I haven’t eaten since this morning’ (this was 7 pm).

My uncle said to Theo ‘Maybe if you ask nicely he’ll give you his fries’. Theo asked me and I said no, because I was still hungry and I knew if I let him have some he’d want them all.

My uncle must’ve said something to my mom because last night when we got home she said that I was mean for eating McDonald’s in front of everyone, especially when I wouldn’t even give any to Theo.

I said that was my dinner and they already ate.

She said, ‘You could have still given him a few fries’.

I said, ‘You know how he is if you give him some he wants them all’.

She said, ‘Just because he’s done that before doesn’t mean he would now’.

Then said something about how I was mean and selfish and he’s a little boy that wanted a treat.

If it matters my aunt made Theo a special thing of chicken tenders and French fries, so it’s not like he had to eat something he disliked for dinner.

AITJ for not sharing?”

2 points - Liked by lebe and Turtlelover60

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anma7 4 months ago
NTJ.. however mom and uncle are for trying to take your only meal from you. Oh and enabling the greedy child
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28. AITJ For Kicking My Husband Out Of The Delivery Room?

“So I (25 F) gave birth to our son almost a month ago, and my husband (27 M) is still mad. My contractions were way more painful than I was expecting, the nurse ‘helping’ me refused to give me an epidural so it was only when I was moved to the actual labor room when a new nurse finally relieved some of the pain and throughout all of this my husband was still ‘on his way’.

Half an hour passed and after they fully settled me in, he arrived and brought me some flowers. While I was glad he got me gifts I would’ve preferred he got there earlier but the moment passed so I just forgot about it.

He was joking around to try and make me feel better and for most of my hours there, it worked.

After a while, I was 8 cm and felt the need to push but the nurses said I wasn’t ready yet so I had to consciously keep my body from pushing.

This was the most hair-ripping excruciating pain I have ever experienced. My husband went on but after a while I said that he should stop, it was getting annoying, and that I just wanted verbal encouragement; he loosely did it but made a whole joke out of it like holding my hand but quickly making it into a dog and making it bark or stroking my arm commenting on how I’m ‘soft like a marshmallow’, I told him multiple times to quit it and how he was stressing and annoying me but it never stopped and within that time I went from 8 cm to 10 cm so as the nurses got the doctor I told him to stop and that if he continued to stress me out that I would ask him to be removed from the room until our son arrived. He agreed and the doctor came, everything was ready, pushing started and my husband decided ‘You’ve spread your legs farther than that, you got this!’ was appropriate.

With my stress being at an all-time high I lost it, I started screaming for him to leave and since I was obviously in distress the staff helped get him out.

The birth went smoothly but unfortunately, my peace was short-lived. While our son was being cleaned up I was moved to a recovery room and my husband went off on me as soon as he came in, he was telling me that I was a jerk for not letting him see his son come into this world and that I was overacting since all he was trying to do was cheer me up and I told him that I clearly said he was stressing me and I warned him of what was going to happen.

He loses it, he starts screaming that it’s unfair that he can never have that moment back and how the 9 months were not worth this experience, security removed him from the hospital altogether since he was screaming, and all I got was the 3 days I spent in the recovery room were angry texts just repeating what he said but in different words.

Ever since our son and I got home he’s been ignoring both of us, he has done nothing for our son this whole month, not even changing his diaper. I tried getting him to talk but silence, he’s staying at his friend’s house and I’m at a loss.


2 points - Liked by lebe and Turtlelover60

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LilVicky 4 months ago
Nope, time to get a lawyer & file for divorce. Like previously stated get all the reports from the hospital & screenshots of the texts to show to the lawyer. He’s going to hold this against you & your son, so you might as well get home gone. NTJ
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27. AITJ For Telling My Grandmother Not To Touch My Engagement Ring?

“I (19 f) and my fiancée (19 m) are getting married. He proposed to me with a beautiful diamond ring. It means very much to me because I have never received such a nice piece of jewelry in my life.

Now here is where I might be the jerk. On Saturday I went over to my mother’s house. My grandmother was there and I was wearing my ring. The day went very well and I was asked to stay for dinner, which I did.

When dinner was ready I set my ring down on the table and went to the sink to wash my hands.

When I was done I turned to see my grandmother with my ring in her hand. She said ‘This is very nice!

Too bad it doesn’t fit me otherwise, I would’ve kept it.’ She then took it off and chucked it onto the table. That’s when I lost it.

I asked her ‘What do you think you’re doing?’ She turned to me and said she just wanted to get a close-up view of my wedding ring.

I then chewed her out. I told her that it was not her ring and that she shouldn’t have been trying it on in the first place.

She then said that it was fine and I was being over dramatic.

To which I responded that if she gets married again then she can try on all the rings she wants but she will not ever touch mine again, and that she has no respect for boundaries. My mom intervened and said I was being a jerk.

I packed my things and left without another word.

Now I’m getting texts from my mom saying I need to apologize and that I have no right to speak to my grandmother like that. I’m still very upset but I do believe I’ve overreacted

So am I the jerk?

(Edit:) my grandmother has also stolen from me in the past. She has stolen cash, and my car keys (because she wanted me to take her to the store but I couldn’t because I had to work).

She has stolen some of my checks from work and also some other valuables. So when she says she’s going to take something she means it. Because of this our relationship has become strained. I moved out and no longer live with her.

Also, I took off my ring and SET it on the table to wash my hand because I was told by my jeweler that the soap and water could damage the ring. Also, I was washing my hands in the kitchen sink and set my ring on the table right next to it.

Another thing. My family doesn’t condone her actions but lets her get away with it due to her age and some health problems. They made her return all the items she took and pay me back for all the money she stole.

But my mom says that regardless of this no one should be disrespectful towards her because she is our grandmother and also because of her age.

Also, the reason I reacted the way I did was not only because of her past behavior but also because in my culture it’s considered bad luck to try on someone else’s wedding ring.

We believe when someone does this it causes the marriage to fail.”

2 points - Liked by lebe and Turtlelover60

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rbleah 4 months ago
DO NOT APOLOGIZE. Tell mom that grandma is a thief and if mom wants to condone that behavior then maybe you should NOT BE AROUND THEM ANYMORE.
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26. AITJ For Threatening To Get The Police Involved If My Husbands Doesn't Pay Our IVF Fund Back?

“My husband (36 M) has an old friend (33 M) that he’s known since high school. They’re inseparable and spend the entire week together. Like they’re really really close.

My husband and I struggled with fertility issues for years.

We recently started a new method (IVF) in hopes of getting at least one child together. Note that I saved for the majority of treatment while my husband only paid 2-3 thousand. We saved up for another round after the huge disappointment and heartbreak from failing the first time (that’s just how it goes).

This time I’d put all the money (including dad’s inheritance) and my husband didn’t pay a cent.

Last week I found out that he secretly pulled out 7k (we had 11k in total). I was completely and utterly shocked I confronted him and he casually reminded me of how many times his best friend complained about his ‘old junk’ car and he decided to ‘lend’ him 7k to buy a decent car, his argument was that his friend would’ve done the same for him.

I was beyond livid I asked if he really thought that was okay and he said that I shouldn’t worry and guaranteed his friend would pay us back in time.

I lost it on him and immediately demanded his friend send the money back and threatened police involvement in case he refused. His friend immediately returned the money but told my husband about the police thing and my husband came home and yelled at me calling me unhinged and selfish.

I told him I saved up some of this money/used my inheritance for this treatment while he contributed nothing even though we’re in this together. He ‘corrected’ me saying I’m the one with the problem and he thought it’s only fair that I ‘make up’ for it by paying for the IVF myself.

This hurt so badly and I couldn’t argue anymore. He went to stay with his friend while constantly shaming me for how I treated them both and for the police involvement like they stole from me or something.”

2 points - Liked by lebe and Turtlelover60

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rbleah 4 months ago
DO NOT CONTINUE WITH THIS CRETEN. You need to find a man who will be a REAL HUSBAND to you and not some SELFISH BRUTE who cares more about his friend that he does about HIS OWN WIFE. RED FLAGS WAVING ALL OVER THE PLACE.
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25. AITJ For Telling My Husband To Pay Me For The AC?

“My husband and I (him 31 & I 32) live in a small apartment with our 2-year-old daughter.

We’re struggling financially and he hasn’t been working since he broke his leg which was 8 months ago. I’m the one bringing money in while saving for an AC because it’s so hot where we live and fans weren’t enough.

I bought an AC 2 months ago, put it in the living room and it made a huge difference because the apartment was literally hot.

My husband kept huffing about buying the AC saying I wasted money and should’ve just kept using fans, he told me since I had no issue paying that much money for ‘an unnecessary’ luxury then I had to pay him to go on a trip with his friends.

I declined because I didn’t have the money he was asking for even after he said he’d pay me back later if I wanted. Also said his friends wouldn’t let him go if he didn’t pay. I suggested he skip it since it’s an out-of-the-country type of trip, and very costly.

Not to mention the stuff he’d need from food and sleeping equipment since they planned to go out in the wilderness. He threw a fit and said he’d skipped 3 trips so far and his injury no longer stood in his way so he wanted to go.

I suggested he go borrow money from someone and he got offended.

Days ago I discovered the AC was gone when I got back from work and freaked out. Turns out he sold it online and waited til I was away to remove it and take it.

He tried giving me 100 to guilt me down but I was seething. I yelled at him and he said he needed money, had nothing valuable left to sell, and thought the AC was not a necessity. Still, he offered to save and buy a new one once he started working.

I demanded him to pay me back immediately or I won’t be staying in this place with these conditions, even my daughter hates how hot it is in there. He started arguing about how unreasonable my stance is and I told him off.

He got some of his friends contacting me convincing me to let him go on the trip then we’ll figure something out later and that his mental health was more important but I responded that if they cared so much about it then they shouldn’t have expected him to pay to go with them.

They stopped speaking to me now he’s accusing me of ruining the trip and alienating his friends.”

2 points - Liked by lebe and Turtlelover60

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rbleah 4 months ago
Ask this idiot if he REALLY HATES HIS CHILD THAT MUCH? He would rather go on a trip WITH HIS FRIENDS than make sure HIS DAUGHTER is in a livable home.
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24. AITJ For Not Supporting My Sister-In-Law's Instagram Blog?

“My husband’s sister and I don’t really get along. She’s been spoiled her whole life and is very self-centered and just not very nice.

Unsurprisingly, she’s never had friends, so in my younger less-life-experienced years, I would hang out with her when she asked, but it never went well, so I stopped. Now we stick to very surface-level conversations at family gatherings, and everything goes just fine.

We both have two young children. She’s a stay-at-home mom; I own and operate a small business during nap time and after bedtime. So we both kind of live a stay-at-home mom’s daily life, but I do work as well.

She relies very heavily on her in-laws and parents for childcare, almost daily, often for the entire day, sometimes overnight.

She recently started a mom life-focused Instagram where she shares advice on what things to buy for kids (with affiliate links), where to take kids in their area, and just general parenting advice.

Most of this is just recycled content from other very popular mom life-focused Instagram pages, since she doesn’t actually spend that much time with her kids, but she puts a lot of effort into recording and editing the videos. She’s reached about 150 followers and hosts frequent giveaways to try to get more, but there doesn’t seem to be a lot of interest in what she’s posting and she doesn’t have a real-life friend base to share her content for her to really get her started.

My business has a pretty successful social media plan, so she asked if I would start sharing her content to drive my followers to her Instagram. I said No, for the following reasons:

1. I don’t actually have much to do with my business’s social media, because I have a part-time marketing person who does it for me.

Beyond filming videos every couple of months as my marketing person directs me, I don’t touch it.

2. My business is very niche, and all of my followers are following me for that very specific content. It is not parenting-related at all.

I’ve never even mentioned my kids on it, because that’s just not what it’s for.

3. I don’t think her Instagram use is good for her mental health at all.

I only shared reasons 1 and 2 with her, so as not to hurt her feelings, but that didn’t work.

She insists that it will only be a few shares a month and that I should start posting more mom-life stuff about myself anyway, but I just really don’t want to get involved with her Instagram at all or change what my marketing person is doing because it’s been successful so far.

My husband agrees with me, but his parents are really feeling the guilt that I have so much support for my business but she has no one to support hers.

AITJ if I refuse to throw her a few likes or shares?”

2 points - Liked by lebe and Turtlelover60

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rbleah 4 months ago
DO NOT GIVE IN TO HER. She will keep pushing for MORE AND MORE from you. NO is all the answer she needs and you DON'T have to give her more. Just tell her again that THIS IS NOT PART OF YOUR BUSINESS AND YOU WILL NOT MAKE IT PART OF YOUR BUSINESS. And think about this, she does not have an original thought in her blog. It is ALL taken from others because SHE IS NOT A GOOD MOM.
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23. AITJ For Being Annoyed At My Cousin For Not Knowing How To Spell "College"?

“I recently graduated with my master’s so I guess my cousin thought I would be a good person to proofread his essay for his college app(s). Things at my job are pretty slow right now so we obliged.

I told him I would proofread it and send it back to him and if he wanted I would give him a second look.

The first draft he sent to me, I spent most of it proofreading very simple spelling and grammar mistakes including him saying collage instead of college.

When he sent me a revised draft there were still several grammar and spelling mistakes including still spelling collage.

At this point, I was a little annoyed because it seemed he disregarded the edits I made which would have been fine if it were things like ‘I suggest saying it this way’ or ‘I suggest adding this’. But to me, it seems he wasn’t taking things seriously, including my time.

So, after seeing collage for the fifth time I finally just sent the essay back via email saying. ‘I unfortunately will not be helping you revise your essay any longer. If you want to get into college you should probably know how to spell it.

Also if you expect people to help you revise your essays in the future, please take their edits into consideration and make sure to fix the simple spelling and grammar mistakes that have been pointed out. I have taken time to revise your essay and it seems you aren’t taking it seriously or listening to my edits and suggestions.’

I got a call from him where he was absolutely livid. Saying that I shouldn’t agree to help him if I was just going to back out. He said he genuinely thought that that’s how you spelled college and thought it was a ‘British’ way of spelling it and he wanted to stand out in his essay.

He called me a pretentious jerk and that just because I have two degrees doesn’t make me better than him.

Did I say anything wrong?”

2 points - Liked by lebe and Turtlelover60

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Panders 4 months ago
LOL he called you should have said that he couldn't SPELL pretentious much less accuse someone of being so LOL
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22. WIBTJ If I Stop Paying For My Dad's Rent After He's Gone?

“My (30s) mother passed away when I was young and my Dad (70s) stayed single for a couple of years before marrying his current wife.

During that time he was a great Dad to me and my siblings. He taught us how to cook, and bike and took care of us as a single Dad the best he could. To this day, my siblings and I remember those years fondly.

Then he remarried and it all went down.

His current wife (60s) hated us from the beginning. My Dad is an immigrant and he was raised to believe that women should do child-rearing so he stepped back. She was cruel and really made our lives a living nightmare.

Think Cinderella on steroids without the magic or any of the good parts.

My siblings and I got out of the house as fast as we could and kept in low contact with Dad. I got married and my only request was for him to leave his wife at home.

At first, he agreed to do it and then the day before, he messaged me to say that it was not possible, she was his wife for 20+ years, yada yada yada. I didn’t want any drama on our big day so I gritted my teeth and literally the next day went with no contact.

Now, I have made a good life for myself, fallen into some money and I’m helping my family out (siblings, partner’s family).

I’ve decided to start paying my dad’s rent. He doesn’t know I’m the one paying it. I love him and I want to do this small thing for him.

It’s always been clear in my mind that if he passed away before his wife, I would stop paying the rent immediately. My partner and one of my siblings think it’s cruel because Dad and his wife really don’t have a lot of money and we won’t even feel it.

They both say that we are lucky to have what we have and I should be the bigger person.

The thing is, I just feel like she doesn’t deserve an ounce of anything from me.

WIBTJ if I didn’t pay rent for my dad’s wife?”

2 points - Liked by lebe and Turtlelover60

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rbleah 4 months ago
After Dad is gone tell the wicked witch since she was so cruel to all you kids that now she can suck it up and PAY HER OWN jerk RENT since YOU won't be paying the rent anymore. Then BLOCK HER.
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21. AITJ For Not Wanting My Mom To Spend Her Final Days In My Childhood Home?

“About 10 months ago, my mom was diagnosed with ALS, a progressive disease that affects the nervous system for those who don’t know. The life expectancy after diagnosis varies for everyone, but it’s usually 2-4 years. I’m 22 (f) and I have four older siblings – 27 m, 29 m, 31 f, 36 m.

I still live at home, all my siblings have left.

The disease has progressed quicker than expected. Because of this, my mom has been eager to set a firm plan in place for her wishes while she still can. Although she knows what she wants, she wants to tell my siblings and me together, so she and my dad have been pretty hush-hush about her wishes while they waited for an opportunity.

This past weekend, all my siblings came home and our parents sat us down and told us her wishes. I had assumed she’d want to be in a hospice situation, but the one thing my mom was adamant about, absolutely non-negotiable, was that she wanted to die at home.

My parents moved into this home just before I was born, I’ve spent my entire life here. It’s already been incredibly difficult for me watching my mom deteriorate, even just small things break me. The thought of her dying in the one place in the world I feel truly safe makes me feel sick.

After my mom had finished talking, I decided to go outside and calm myself down, so that I wouldn’t upset anybody.

My siblings all came out a few minutes later and asked what was going on with me. I told them how I felt, explaining that I don’t know how I’m going to cope with it while it’s happening and after she’s gone.

I was expecting some sympathy, but they all completely turned on me, saying it wasn’t about me and that I needed to put Mom first. My sister, who I’ve always had a somewhat rocky relationship with, went inside and told my dad, which was the last thing I wanted.

I told my brothers that although I knew it was going to be hard for them too, they wouldn’t have to live in it after she’s gone, and they aren’t being impacted by the day-to-day going-ons. Pretty much all of my siblings have called me a jerk, and although my parents haven’t directly said anything I know I’ve upset them too.


2 points - Liked by lebe and Turtlelover60

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anma7 4 months ago
NTJ.. you are as entitled to your feelings as mom and dad and the siblings are… thing is I understand what you are saying they don’t see the progression on a day to day thing you do and the home you have grown up in will be tainted by the mementoes of her illness. However you won’t love there forever and you need to take this time to make fantastic memories while you can to help counteract the bad ones that will happen
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20. AITJ For Telling My Partner Not To Share The Password To My Streaming Accounts To Other People?

“I (32 f) have access to quite a few streaming accounts such as Hulu, Netflix, HBO Max, etc. due to my five siblings. We all subscribe to some apps, but we share our passwords with one another, which led to us having up to like eight or nine platforms. My partner (32 m) uses the sibling log-in, which I don’t mind at all.

He then started giving them to his sister (24 f) without asking me, which was annoying but it ended up being okay with my siblings.

The issue was when she started sharing it with her friends, which jammed up the streaming platforms and began to kick my siblings out of it.

So we all changed the password and kicked everyone off of it, including my partner and his sister. I stupidly gave him the password again and told him not to share it with anyone or he won’t get access to the sibling account.

I told him that he could log in FOR his sister on her computer and phone, but not give her the password, to which he agreed to (and she did too).

Not even a week later, my brother told me in the group chat that there were people accessing one of the accounts and that we had to do a reset again.

It was my partner’s sister who did and when my partner asked why we changed our password again, I told him that it was because he shared the password again when he promised me not to. He asked me what he was supposed to use and I told him that he could purchase a subscription on his own and share it with his sister.

He told me that I was being controlling and that my siblings were acting like a bratty clique. His sister did call me a jerk to her friends (which I overheard), that I shouldn’t be so stingy, and that I could afford to share.

I don’t think I’m not a jerk, but since my partner and his sister are still going off about it three days later. His mom made a comment about all of us being a family and needing to share whereas my mom said that they both have jobs and should pay it themselves if they aren’t going to respect my conditions.

What are your thoughts?”

2 points - Liked by lebe and Turtlelover60

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rbleah 4 months ago
Just because YOU have access to A SIBLING ACCOUNT does NOT MEAN he and his sis get to use it OR SHARE with ANYBODY ELSE. Tell him that HE LIED TO YOU about sharing the password again and now you wonder why HE thinks you should trust him AGAIN. And you are correct, they can get their own account since they are both working. And maybe find a boyfriend who would not lie to you even for his sibling.
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19. AITJ For Snapping At My Mom Over Her Grief About My Little Brother's Passing?

“My (17 m) mom (42 f) has been very clingy lately following the passing of my little brother ‘Stevie’ (12 m).

Last year he passed after being hit by an irresponsible driver while playing ball with his friends in the street (2 of his friends were injured as well but survived).

It was hard on all of us and it still is. Some days I wake up and just sit in his room to be close to him. I like to deal with my emotions privately and move on about things that can’t be changed. When Stevie first passed, my mom was an obvious wreck.

She started getting extremely clingy, calling every hour when I was out with friends, and randomly coming into my room at night just to look at me or talk about nothing. I didn’t mind at first and assumed it’d fade away as time moved on and we got back to normal and since she’s been going to regular therapy.

But even still now she’s just always THERE and it gets overwhelming at times.

I try to put up with it but long story short I blew up a few days ago. I was going to hang out with friends, and Mom was upset because she wanted to have dinner and watch movies together.

I told her I should be able to enjoy the end of my teen years and have a night out since I’ll be 18 soon and have to be part of the ‘real world’ full of responsibilities. We went back and forth until I got fed up and basically shouted ‘Stevie is dead, get over it and stop trying to trap me’.

Mom got upset and refused to speak anymore and has been distant since.

My friends said I had gone too far and they wouldn’t have minded missing one night with me. Dad says I need to apologize and I should be ashamed. I’m willing to apologize for HOW I said it since I shouldn’t be yelling at my mom and making her cry, but I don’t think I have to apologize for how I truly feel.

I miss Stevie too but suffocating people won’t bring him back. AITJ?”

2 points - Liked by lebe and Turtlelover60

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anma7 4 months ago
ESH…. However mom is grieving and unfortunately she has focused on you as her remaining child, she feels guilty for letting stevie play in the street and getting killed.. she couldn’t have known that would happen but the guilt is going to haunt her forever. Your friends are good friends they know how she is being and are letting you know they understand if you have to change plans just to have 1 night with mom.. dad is right you need to apologise but maybe sit with dad alone and tell him how you feel let him know that you just snapped because you get it she’s worried but she can’t keep you home all the time ‘just in case’ I take it you have plans to go to college soon too and that will be playing on her mind so she will maybe try make you stay close to home or not go at all. Dad needs to help you BOTH here reach a compromise on how she deals with you going forward
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18. AITJ For Not Letting My Cousin Play With My New Expensive Lego?

“I (14 M) am currently on vacation in Denmark, since my mother found a job here. So last week I went to a place called Legoland for the first time, it’s like Disneyland but the theme is Legos.

It has rollercoasters, rides, and everything an amusement park has plus a shop just for Lego sets.

So we spent the day there having the time of our lives and as we left we stopped by the shop to see what it was and we left with a 449Dkk Lego set (About 70€ I think) and for me, it was a big deal because we don’t have much money in Greece since we live in the countryside and my mom who found a job and makes above 2k a month is a big deal so she bought it to me as a gift cause she making money and because I was staring at it, of course.

Well since it’s 70€ it surprised me cause I only get gifts with numbers like that only on my birthday and getting a Lego set 5 months before was crazy. It’s a Lego technic and the number is 42123 for the ones wondering.

So about a week later since I made it my relatives came and my little cousin (8 F) saw the Lego and immediately went for it with the mindset that the set was hers, but since it was almost 2 meters above her she couldn’t reach it.

She asked me to get it down with an entitled voice and since with past experience when I gave her one of my things two years before she broke it within five minutes, so I told her no and she asked me why with a slight begging face like those from cartoons so I went on to explain that I made it to admire it and that some pieces are small with the risk of losing them.

She again demanded to put down the lego for her to play but since I know how she thinks, just because I told her the first time no she was going to break it the second I gave it to her out of pettiness.

So I answer with a slightly bigger tone than before, NO. She starts crying and goes to her mom (aunt) to cry even harder and tell her I’m being rude and I overheard her saying that I was also abusive to her.

So as a mum, she came to see what really happened and told her everything. She kinda agreed with me but asked politely if I could give her the Lego and I politely replied with the same reasoning I gave my little cousin.

She agreed and left with her but my uncle was not happy with her crying because of me.

My other cousin/older sister (16 F) said I did the right thing because she has a ton of toys in her room and her demanding another one from me was wrong.

This disagreement went a little out of hand yesterday when I found her on a chair trying to reach for it and I picked her up, put her out of my room, and closed my door which resulted in my uncle rushing to the door because she cried and told me to open the door and my father who knew what already happened cooled him off and explained. So am I the jerk?”

2 points - Liked by lebe and Turtlelover60

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anma7 4 months ago
NTJ.. uncle is though, that’s where the girl gets it from cos they don’t tell her no
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17. AITJ For Wanting To Tell My Neighbor's Kids To Keep Off Our Property?

“We live in a rural community, and most of the properties around here are about 1/2 acre.

Our property is a really long trapezoid shape, with a decent section of it a natural, untouched forest. It’s pretty dense, so you can’t really see in it until you are IN it.

This forest is between us and one neighbor – no fence. Since we moved here, two different families have lived there, and we’ve had no problems. Until this third family moved in.

Today I went into our woods and noticed a beaten track.

I thought it odd, and went in further, and realized there were trails running through the whole forest. The natural ground vegetation was ruined, trees were pulled down and piled, and jumps were created. I realized our neighbor’s grandchildren had created this whole bike course on our property.

Now, two things – one, I can’t imagine they don’t know that the wooded area is ours. It’s pretty clear on lot maps that their property line is just barely in the trees. Two, their grandkids only visit on weekends, and often play with our kids happily, ON our property, on our trampoline and full-on playground that we created from 3 separate playsets.

We are happy to have neighbors’ kids play with our kids, on our property. That is not the issue.

My issue is that they literally destroyed a natural wooded area that belongs to us and did not even ask if it was ok for them to ride their bikes in there.

My husband doesn’t think I should talk to them about it, as we are on decent terms otherwise. I am sitting here getting more and more mad, the longer I think about it, especially because their property is actually bigger than ours, and they have their own wooded area!

They even put up a shed when they first moved in that is partially on our property, I didn’t say anything about it then, but am realizing now maybe I should have.

What do you think – AITJ and should just leave it alone, or do I have just cause to approach the neighbors?

AITJ for wanting to prohibit our neighbor’s grandkids from coming on our property?

EDIT: Our kids did not know about the trails until I asked them about it, and were upset to find out that ‘their Forest’ had been ruined. It was not any other kids in the neighborhood, as we have been here for 5 and 1/2 years, with the same neighbors, and not until our next-door neighbor’s grandkids started visiting a little over a month ago did the trails appear.”

2 points - Liked by lebe and Turtlelover60

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rbleah 4 months ago
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16. WIBTJ If I Ask My In-Laws To Stay At A Hotel Until We're Ready For Guests?

“Our 1st baby is due 11/12. My in-laws, who moved 5 hours away last month, plan on coming to stay with us at our home ‘to see the baby during those first few days!’ right after the birth. I’m fine having parents meet the baby briefly at the hospital or at our home.

I am also fine with having them stay with us for a few days, but not so soon! It’s peak RSV & flu season & there is no reason for babies to be around anyone they don’t need to be aka mom/dad.

I’m happy to host them when the baby is older & healthier & I am recovered. I have anxiety, my mom & sister had awful recoveries from all their births.

I know I will be exhausting myself, bleeding, walking around without a shirt, with ice packs shoved down my hoo-ha, milk dripping out of me, and having mental breakdowns left & right.

I’m not comfortable having my in-laws around 24/7 for that. It won’t be good for my mental health & my recovery. There is no need for any relatives to be with the baby 24/7 after birth. I really don’t want anyone around for more than a limited amount of time & with limited contact due to the time of year & germs.

We decided to open our home a few times a week for an hour or so for close family/friends to meet the baby, but since my in-laws are far ‘stopping by’ isn’t an option unless they get a hotel, which I’m happy to pay for.

My in-laws want to come to ‘bond’ & spend time with the baby – not to help clean/cook. My mom/stepmom are helping us with chores, upon our request, & if MIL was close, I’d love for her to help too, but they’re not, & she’s not the helping type, I know she just wants to come & ‘play with’ the baby.

I thought this was a reasonable boundary; either come for short-term visits or come for a week when the baby is older. I spoke with my SIL & she was trying to be nice about it, but she pretty much told me I was being unfair for ‘punishing’ my in-laws for not living close like other family members do.

I brought up the hotel compromise & she said that would make it inconvenient for them to meet their grandkid & make them feel unwelcome. They are unwelcome to stay over for a week after birth! I thought that was reasonable.

They’re welcome to stop by or stay for a week another time, but I really didn’t think it was unfair to not want my FIL looking at me without a shirt & wearing diapers! She has me doubting my decision & said my husband & in-laws would find it disrespectful.

Now, I’m nervous to bring it up to my husband, so I figured before I do I would ask for some unbiased feedback. Would I be the jerk to offer to pay for a hotel nearby for a few days so they can stop by during the ‘visiting time’ when we’re comfy with visitors coming, or ask them to hold off on staying with us until the baby is older/healthier?

I understand they’re excited & I’m happy about that, but would trying to set this boundary & suggesting these compromises make me the jerk?”

2 points - Liked by lebe and Turtlelover60

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anmi 4 months ago
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15. AITJ For Wanting To Be Selfish?

“I (24 F) have been taking care of my mom (58 F) for as long as I can remember.

Countless surgeries, constant rehabilitation, and pain, and she’s a breast cancer survivor.

As of the past 2 years, I’ve really been wanting to move out of my parents’ house and out of state. I live in a very expensive city and state and have more bad memories here than good.

I just want to start over somewhere cheaper and away from this place. Recently, she has been in a lot of pain due to what we think is her pancreas. I do the best that I can with her, but from knowing how she is when in pain and sick, like many people, she just wants to be left alone.

I have been planning to leave for about a year. I have a partner in another state who has been building a tiny home while I’m here so everything can be ready when I get there. the issue is now that not only is this month (September) my mom’s birthday, but she is also sick and my older sister (28 F) works a full-time job.

I was never encouraged to get a job since I’ve been my mother’s caretaker since 9 years old. I’ve had many emotional nights about telling them that I want to leave and have a plan because I feel like she and my dad (66 M) depend on me to take care of them.

It’s amazing to me that they have treated me so badly most of my life, never really let me have a social life, and stopped me from getting opportunities young to make it easier for me to find a job when I’m older, but I’ll still be scared of leaving them.

All of my friends and family who know what I’ve done instead of having a normal childhood and teenage years tell me it’s time to be selfish. I have always struggled mentally about this and have had to hide it for the sake of my parents, but there’s see it and tell me it’s time to take care of myself.

I feel like a horrible person leaving when my mom is sick, but my friends and family have said, “She’s always been sick, time to focus on you’. So AITJ for leaving when my mom is sick, even though I’m trying to take care of myself for once?”

2 points - Liked by lebe and Turtlelover60

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rbleah 4 months ago
BE SELFISH AND RUN, NOW. If you do not then you NEVER WILL.
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14. AITJ For Being Angry At My Mom For Pushing My Partner To Propose To Me?

“I (27 F) have been with partner (30 M) for about 8 years. We have talked about marriage multiple times throughout our relationship but both agree that it’s not what either of us wants, for right now at least.

To be completely honest, the only reason I would get married is later on for medical and administrative reasons but also because I get to wear a pretty dress.

He feels the same way which is something that we settled at the beginning of our relationship.

Now is where my mother comes in, she’s always had this idea of what my life should be like. She always thought I would be married and popping out babies by now but that really isn’t what I want for myself.

I have become a master at just ignoring all her constant remarks about my relationship status and how badly she wants to be a grandma. I told her that I understood but it’s not what I and my partner want at the moment.

I have had this conversation with her many times but she just won’t let it go.

I had noticed recently that my partner was acting secretive but honestly, I just thought he was planning something for my birthday.

Fast forward to this weekend, we were hosting a family dinner for my birthday and my whole family flew out to be here.

During the night I noticed my mom and partner were constantly sneaking around and whispering but I didn’t think much of it. Everything was going great until it was to open presents and suddenly it was my partner’s turn, he got down on one knee and proposed in front of everyone.

I was shocked and immediately told him asked him what he was doing, things got awkward fast. I took him aside and asked what was going on. We had talked about this not being the right time and neither of us wanted to be married for now.

Turns out my mother has been telling him for months how apparently I am dying to get married but I don’t want to tell him because I know he’s not ready and I don’t want I push him away but that if he loved me he would take this step because it’s what I want.

I was livid and immediately went back out to where everyone was and started yelling at my mom telling her that this was a new low even for her. I can’t believe she would be so selfish and basically trick my partner into proposing to me.

She replied by saying she only did this because she thought it was what I wanted and I told her no, Mom, this is what you wanted and stormed out.

I haven’t contacted her since but I have received messages from multiple family members saying I shouldn’t have yelled at her in front of everyone especially since she thought she doing the right thing.

My partner and I  talked about it and I told him I just wish he would have talked to me about it and that he should have known that this isn’t something I would want at all but we are fine and have decided to move past this.

So AITJ for yelling at my mom in front of the family?”

2 points - Liked by lebe and Turtlelover60

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Ishouldntbehere2 4 months ago
NTJ. She knew what she was doing.
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13. AITJ For Taking A Day Or Two To Clean Up After Pet Sitting?

“So I’m pet sitting, my normal gig, I’ve been to this house MANY times and I always get great reviews, but recently I’ve been told I’m a jerk essentially for how I do things.

Basically, I like to live in the home comfortably, my things are somewhat strewn about because I don’t have a solid home for anything and all pets are taken care of as requested by the owners of course.

I take pride in the fact that I love on the babies, send the family pictures every day or two, groom them when needed, give treats, and extra snuggles, go for runs, let them sleep in bed with me and overall create a stress-free or rather less-stress environment while the ‘parents’ are away.

I’m a big advocate that having a live-in pet sitter helps create stability in the pet’s routine and reduces stress and likeliness of any kind of illness or random bouts of not eating that are often caused by the shift in their environment.

Well, just this afternoon I got invited out by a friend for drinks on Saturday, but Saturday is when the family is returning and I have cleaning to do, so I asked if we could change plans to tomorrow AKA Friday (plans were literally just for me and her) and upon explaining why, she thinks I’m crazy and a bad pet sitter.

On the last day or 2 before a family returns I gather my things, wash the sheets I’ve been using, remake the bed, vacuum the home, change out all trash cans, make sure poop is scooped in every inch of the lawn, clean toilets, put away any excess toys that have been pulled out of their bin and make sure they have been put back, make sure I plug back in anything I unplugged, change the TV back to their original channel, flip the light switches back to their original settings if anything changed, etc. I have an annoying sense of detail that I feel I MUST stick to and has kept my families happy – sorry to list so many things, but that’s just giving an idea of what I do and how thoroughly I try and fix up the home for the owner’s return.

However, I’ve been told that the fact that I can’t keep up with everything, every single day, and require a day or two (depending on when I work and what time/day their return is) that I am a bad pet sitter and don’t care for the pets and the home well enough.

Now I’m feeling kind of guilty, but even though I vacuum every two days, take out the trash when full, keep up with the yard and toys throughout my stay, and things like that, nothing will be perfectly clean like that final day or two full sweeps that I do.

I see it as putting in the extra effort to make sure the owners come home to an already clean home with nothing to take care of. I want to allow them to come home and not have to clean up after the ‘guest’ that they paid to stay in their place while away.

I do everything I can to tend to the animals in my care every single day and love them dearly, but maybe I should be doing more and now I’m conflicted… so, AITJ for taking a day or two to clean up?”

2 points - Liked by lebe and Turtlelover60

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anma7 4 months ago
NTJ.. just tell your friend you ain’t going out period cos your such a bad pet sitter you don’t want to leave your chargers home alone
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12. AITJ For Being Upset When My Parents Gave My Brother My Dream Pet And A PS5?

“I (16 F) love animals, and about three years ago I fell in love with bearded dragons and really wanted to get one, but my dad refused because I already had a pet bird. Both of my parents know that I still want a bearded dragon.

This year for Christmas my parents asked me what I wanted and since I’m getting older I didn’t want much. I jokingly asked for a bearded dragon (and a few other small things, of course), knowing that it probably wouldn’t happen.

Christmas Eve rolls around and my parents put our presents under the tree. There were three BIG presents for me and my brain couldn’t think of anything that could be that big besides furniture so I asked and my mom and she said it wasn’t.

When I was told this I got really excited, thinking they might have actually gotten me a bearded dragon.

Anyways, now it’s Christmas day; we open all of our little stuff then we finally get to our big presents.

My younger brother (9 M) opened his and he got a PS5. When I went to open my first big present I realized that it was a giant mirror, my parents got me a vanity. I was a little upset that it wasn’t a bearded dragon, but I was still thankful, I really needed a vanity.

Then my mom told me that it was the vanity that she showed me a few weeks ago… the vanity I specifically told her I didn’t like. I didn’t make a huge fuss, I was still thankful. Like I said, I still needed a vanity.

My mother then told my brother that he had one more big gift in the guest bedroom that she couldn’t wrap. We all walked to the guest bedroom and this might sound a little dramatic, but when we opened that door my heart dropped to the floor.

A huge, fully decorated tank with a little bearded dragon inside was on the floor. (I would just like to point out that my younger brother did not want a bearded dragon.) I was trying so hard not to cry when my mom started explaining how the tank was going in his room and that she got him the bearded dragon for a ‘learning experience’.

I was very upset, and when my mom finally noticed my eyes watering she asked me what was wrong and told me to be open with her. I explained that I didn’t find it fair that my brother got MY dream pet and a PS5 while I got a vanity I specifically said I didn’t want.

My dad started yelling at me, calling me ungrateful. I started sobbing and my dad started explaining that I didn’t need another pet since I already had a bird. I told him that this whole situation was still messed up and unfair and he screamed, ‘THEN YOU SHOULDN’T HAVE GOTTEN THAT BIRD!’

I am writing this the day after Christmas and now I’m wondering if I was being ungrateful. I still got some of the small things I asked for, but the whole situation still seems messed up to me. Do I have a right to feel this way?

Please let me know.”

2 points - Liked by lebe and Turtlelover60

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Ishouldntbehere2 4 months ago
NTJ. Its really messed up. It definitely sounds like they're trying to punish you for getting the bird. But keep your chin up and your head down, only a couple more years before you can move out and make your own pet choices.
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11. AITJ For Wanting My Husband To Fix His Relationship With His Parents?

“I (27 F) have been married to my husband (27 M) for 5 years, together for 6 years. We met in college when we were 21 and dated for 8 months before he asked me to marry him and I said yes.

Four months later we were married, on our one-year anniversary.

I have never met his parents. For the first 6 months of our relationship, he would talk about them all the time, how they were great parents, how I was going to love them, how they were going to love me, and all of that.

And then, all of a sudden, he told me he wasn’t on speaking terms with them anymore! I was very confused at the time and tried to get him to talk about it but no such luck. He just told me they had a fight, it wasn’t something he could forgive and that was that.

I met most of his family at the wedding or during the preparations for it. I truly adore them.

We were spending Christmas with his paternal grandparents (his parents were with his mother’s parents, I think) when his cousin accidentally let slip why my husband fought with his parents: he told them he wanted to marry me and they accused me of being a gold digger (with more polite wording).

My husband has confirmed this.

My husband’s family does have a lot of money, the generational kind of wealth. And we did the whole meeting – getting engaged – getting married quite quickly to be fair to his parents!

But the thing is: my family has more money than his family! And hubby knew it too! I would be a less-than-stellar gold digger if that was my intent.

So upon learning what happened, I thought it was amusing. Never in my life have I been accused of trying to social climb lol.

Maybe if I had known at the time I would have been offended. But today I just find it funny.

I told my husband he should contact his parents and try to mend their relationship. They were just worried for his sake.

While I’m truly grateful he stuck by me and defended me so strongly, there is no need for that anymore.

He didn’t want to hear it. At this point, I was a little bit exasperated. His parents were worried and had no way to know better.

I told him that and said it’s silly to stay in no contact with them after all this time for such a small offense. My honor has already recovered from learning what they said.

Well, he was upset about that last bit, saying it’s silly.

Things have gotten back to normal since we last talked about it (yesterday morning). But I’m wondering: AITJ? Should I apologize? I just think it makes no sense to throw away such a great parental relationship for something about me that I’m not even bothered with!”

2 points - Liked by lebe and Turtlelover60

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Ishouldntbehere2 4 months ago
NJH aside from his parents. It's okay for you to want to forgive them, but it's also okay for your husband not to. Thats his call, but I am on his side, that's extremely toxic behavior and I'd want none of that in my life.
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10. AITJ For Not Allowing My Kid To Go To Disney Land With Her Dad?

“I (30 F) have a daughter (10)who I have sole legal and physical custody of. Her dad (33 m)called her the other day and started telling her he was going to pick her up and take her to his home state, 3 states from us.

I messaged him and told him that was super not cool, and that he is not allowed to take her out of the state. He literally just got unsupervised visitation a couple of months ago. The one time he took her out of state his family called me because our daughter was feeling uncomfortable.

Our daughter has a learning disability and he kept comparing her to her younger cousin who excels in school to the point where even her aunt and uncle could see what was going on and alerted me.

My ex is schizophrenic, for a little bit more context why I have 100% custody.

He also disappeared for the first 5 or 6 years of her life on and off. It’s why I moved states. His state’s rent prices went to ridiculous levels and I could only afford a studio there. I was able to buy a home here.

He even went two months without talking to her last year because he was upset he only got supervised visitation. Kinda why I caved in to unsupervised.

So, this time I refused to give in to him. I told him he couldn’t bully me into getting his way.

He told me I was coming between their relationship. ‘Maybe a trip with her father would be good to help with bonding and stuff since we barely have a relationship as is. I need some support there on your end and you have fought me every step of the way.’ To be exact.

Then he said he was planning on taking her to Disney land and I’m ruining that too. He asked me to at least consider it and I said no. Then he told our daughter he was taking her to Disney land and I talked to her and said ‘Sorry.

That isn’t happening.’

I feel like I’m hitting a brick wall constantly with attempting to co-parent while also keeping her safe and stable. So AITJ?”

1 points - Liked by lebe

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anma7 4 months ago
NTJ.. you need to keep all contact between you to text only or record the calls… then you need to contact your lawyer and tell them what he’s on with.. also you need to go back to supervised cos he could just take her and not tell you until it’s too late or they are there and there’s a massive issue
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9. AITJ For Shutting Down Someone's Opinion About My Giving Food To Someone?

“I’m working on my master’s thesis and the theme has to do with homeless people, so I’ve gone to a few food banks and shelters to conduct interviews and polls, meeting people along the way.

A few days ago I (F 25) went out with my best friend James (M 26) to get some pizza and we asked for an extra to-go to bring it to his roommates.

We went to a small nice place, not a fancy one, just nice. The owner has an open door policy so every once in a while some people enter to sell stuff (candy, chips, keychains, etc.) Some of them are homeless and this is the only way they make money.

When we were eating, a girl in her teens walked in and offered chips to every table (it was early so there were just 4 or 5 tables being served), but most of the customers ignored her. When she reached our table James was searching for change (I didn’t have any with me), while we were waiting I recognized her from one of the shelters so I asked James to not only buy the chips but also give her a tip, I noticed her staring at our pizza and asked me how much did it cost, just then our server came with the box of the one to go we asked for before, so we gave it to her and told her to share it with her family, she was really happy, I also gave her a candy bar I had in my bag and she left thanking us.

As soon as she left the place a girl from the other table told me I wasn’t helping her, that she was going to give the pizza to ‘her patron’ and use the money for illegal substances or booze. I decided to not engage and ignore her while ordering another pizza to go.

She then kept ranting about how I was ‘just wanting to look good’ and wasn’t making any real changes. James tried to step out and defend me but I stopped him and talked myself.

I told her that it was very rude of her to throw her opinions on people she didn’t know, that I know that girl and she doesn’t have any addictions, and if she was criticizing me that much she better be doing some ‘real changes’ herself and not just talking trash about a minor who’s just trying to make a way of living and by her words, I doubt she ever helped anyone.

She shut up, sat, and whispered something to one of her friends. I turned to my table again, we finished our food and waited for our order to go. The girl didn’t say anything else but was glaring at us all the time.

Yesterday James told the story while we were out with some friends and the significant other of one of our friends said that I was a jerk for humiliating the girl in public, that it wasn’t necessary and I just acted smug, to my surprise our friend agreed.

So, AITJ? She did intrude in a situation that didn’t involve her at all and talked badly against a minor, and I find it weird that all her ranting was towards only me and not James as well. But on the other hand I honestly didn’t though of her feelings at all, so maybe my response was exaggerated. To keep ignoring her was always an option and I didn’t do that.”

1 points - Liked by lebe

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anma7 4 months ago
NOPE.. she gave her opinion based on presumption and you have yours base on fact!!’ If she didn’t want to hear your opinion she should have kept hers to herself.. you are soo NTJ
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8. AITJ For Telling My Wife To Stop Saying That She Earns More Than I Do?

“My wife has her Master’s degree and works at a top Forbes 5 company.

I have a GED, Professional Licenses, and some college

When we got married she made more money than me and that is still the same case now.

I am okay with it, not insecure at all but my wife won’t stop bringing up her money to me EVERYDAY. She says things like I make the money, I pay all the bills, your job ain’t nothing, etc… I’m not exaggerating I hear about money every day.

In the recent past when I was on the road making more money, she complained I’m not helping her raise the kids. When I’m working locally she says the money isn’t good enough.

I have applied for over 1,200 jobs on Indeed in the last two years.

I follow up, show up, and everything hoping to get a higher-paying job because my wife keeps rubbing her income in my face. I had $0 in my account till payday this week, and she had thousands but got mad I used her money to buy a fish sandwich for lunch.

She said not to ask her for gas money, even though she knows I’m at $0 so I scrapped up my change. At home she constantly buys new stuff for her biological kids, but not my daughter who is in my custody.

My wife says ‘That’s not my biological daughter tell her Mom to buy her some crap.’

When it comes to my money I buy all the kid’s stuff and pay as many bills as I can but it still isn’t good enough.

This is my first and only marriage and I want to honor my oath to God and my wife but this is so hard. She literally looks at me like nothing, and I am trying my hardest to make more money.

We are not struggling. She makes way more than what the bills are but hates that I can’t afford to pay half sometimes or all of them for her.

What do I do? I’m tired of her bashing me to her parents, brothers, friends, and even my own family.

I have made well over $150,000 in our 4 years of marriage but she says I NEVER have contributed a dime to our relationship literally. It is so frustrating to work this hard and still be looked down on.

AITJ for screaming at her to quit badgering me about making more money than me every day?

I didn’t want to scream but her face looking like I disgust her, really touched me.”

1 points - Liked by lebe

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Ishouldntbehere2 4 months ago (Edited)
NTJ. This is financial abuse. She needs to understand that a marriage is a partnership and she should want to help you and your child because she can afford to, and not just at the 50/50 level. Even if you were to split things 50/50 she has 2 kids (full time I assume) so she should be paying a higher percantage of the bills. She doesn't sound like marriage material at all, I'm sorry about your promise to God but you gotta leave this situation for your daughters sake.
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7. AITJ For Refusing To Give Up One Of My Rare Plants To A Little Girl?

“Like every other woman in her 20s, I started collecting plants in 2020. I don’t have a jungle and I don’t have any of the crazy expensive stuff people on TikTok are obsessed with.

I mostly got mine from like Lowe’s or a local shop.

I splurged on a few slightly more rare plants, like a few different kinds of monsteras and one really cool dark philodendron. I’d also started propagating some to trade or sell locally.

There was a plant swap a week ago and I’d been growing some cuttings of a manjula pothos and a few others, including two cuts from my monstera peru.

A woman (30s) came with her daughter (9?) who had a tacklebox full of stuff like golden pothos, heart leaf philodendron, etc. Very common plants you can get for $5 (or free cuts from most offices, LOL).

The mom walked around and chatted with everyone and eventually came to me and saw my monstera peru, called her daughter over, and they ooohed over it.

Mom asked what I was looking to trade for and I gave her a few I was after.

The daughter looked disappointed and moved on, but mom kept back and was like ‘Would you be willing to trade one of these for one of her heart leaves? They’re VERY special.’

I said no thanks, but it was great she was getting into plants.

Mom looked surprised and said, ‘Not even to help a little girl get started?’

I was really taken aback and didn’t know what to say. I hadn’t even gotten my monstera peru until I was like a year into things.

She kept giving me this weird look almost like when someone at a store is like ‘Well what are you going to do for me?’ if something goes wrong. Thankfully she moved on after rolling her eyes.

Another person ended up trading the little girl and the mom acted all smug and made some loud comments ‘See, that isn’t so hard.

You’ve just made a lifelong plant collector.’

One of the other swap members was like ‘What was that about?’ and I told her what happened. She said the woman was pushy, but that it wouldn’t have been the end of the world for me to give the child a break and treat her to something.

I’m honestly like ??? here. Am I really the jerk for not trading something I didn’t want just because she was a child? If she’d asked me for something else maybe I would have given it to her. But the original plant I got was kind of expensive.

I was hoping to trade for another plant more on the same level if that makes sense.”

1 points - Liked by lebe

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Ishouldntbehere2 4 months ago
NTJ. Children don't deserve anything from strangers just for being children, and parents who think like that p¡ss me off. Maybe you could've explained a little more how much it was worth to you or maybe you could've offered to trade something else, but all in all, you had no obligation to say anything other than no.
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6. AITJ For Telling My Brother's Significant Other To Get Off My Bed And Leave My Room?

“So I (18 F) kinda dislike my brother’s (22 M) significant other (19 F). She comes over to our house a few times a week so I see her pretty frequently.

She is super clingy and annoying, and I honestly feel like my brother is just with her out of pity. When I see them interact he seems bored and uninterested. And this might be judgemental of me, but this girl does not take care of herself at all.

My brother is a very good-looking person and he’s clean and well-groomed, while this girl looks like she never washes or brushes her hair, her teeth are hideous, and she wears shirts with stains all over them.

But the thing that annoys me the most is how she acts around my parents.

They’ve only been together for 6 months but she acts like they’re married or something. She calls our parents mom and dad (which is what you call in-laws in my culture), they didn’t ask her to she just does it. She always sucks up to them and asks my mom if she can help her with any chores because she wants to be a good daughter-in-law, which makes me die of cringe.

The other day I came home and found her in my room lying on my bed. I already had a bad day so this really ticked me off. I asked her what she was doing and she said we’re basically family so I shouldn’t mind her doing this.

I was so angry and I told her to shut up and get out. She was really shocked by this and she TOLD ON ME TO MY MOM. Obviously, my brother and my mom were really mad, and she and my dad scolded me for like 2 hours that night.

She told me I had to go to her house and ask for forgiveness, which I think is just ridiculous.


1 points - Liked by lebe

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Ishouldntbehere2 4 months ago
NTJ at all, your room your rules usually. But since you live with your parents still you should probably talk to your parents some more about your concerns. Obviously "shut up and get out" doesn't fly with them, but they may be okay with some predetermined boundaries so you can avoid her. If they're not okay with that, I guess it's time to think about moving out!
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5. AITJ For Not Forgiving My Sister For The Things She Did When We Were Teens?

“My twin sister and I (23 F) used to have had a good relationship since we were born. I loved her with all her wrongs and rights.

I used to admire her so much because whatever she wanted to accomplish, she did it, and made it look easy in the process. We both liked to spend our days learning new languages and taking courses to learn some important skills for when we became grown-ups.

We watched for each other’s back.

Nonetheless, she’s always been the rebel one. Our country is kinda dangerous. When our mom finally allowed us to go out, she set rules to follow to be able to go out again. As soon as we stepped out of the house, my sister would tell me to do the opposite.

If I wanted us both to respect her boundaries instead of going to a bar with a bunch of grown-up adults until late at night, she would laugh at me in front of our friends. We were 15 years old when it happened.

It all got worse as soon as we turned 18. My sister got a well-paid job and started treating the rest of the family like crap. My mom is an angel and very sensitive when it comes to us, my sister knows, so she would threaten to leave the house if my mom didn’t let her spend the whole day in her room doing nothing and go out until 3 a.m. She even escaped for complete days several times and came back home without explaining anything to prove that she wasn’t playing.

All her will to study and become a genius vanished. She became a horrible person who would manipulate my mom, treat my dad as a joke with no authority to even express himself, and treat me as a servant because I helped mom with all the chores she refused to help her with.

Both of my parents lost their jobs last year. My sister would buy food only for her and eat it locked in her room. She didn’t care at all if we didn’t have anything to eat. The worst part of all of this is that she never recalls doing anything when confronted days after, and if she does, she changes the whole story to say that she acts this way because we’re a toxic family and she’s punishing us for it.

This woman (because it’s been happening for 3 years and counting), was using our wifi, sleeping in our bed, eating the food we get without any of her help, not doing any house chores, being offered opportunities to study in a very important college thanks to my mom’s contacts, being offered THERAPY, and we’re all the toxic ones here.

I’m a college student and I’m not able to get a job because of the requirements of my scholarship, but I do my best to help my mom by making small businesses, and my father tries his best on his end as well.

My sister doesn’t live with us anymore, but she has the same behavior whenever she needs something from Mom and visits us to get it, and we don’t talk to each other because of all she does. My mom always says that I’m doing the wrong thing by refusing to forgive her and forget.

AITJ for not forgiving her?”

1 points - Liked by lebe

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LilVicky 4 months ago
Your sister is a b*tch & you don’t owe her anything. She gets treated how she acts. NTJ
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4. AITJ For Reporting A Waitress To The Manager For Ignoring Me?

“My (22 M) significant other (21 F) and I went to this local restaurant near our campus two days ago that’s pretty well known in our university which, right now, is empty-ish because most of the people are away with their families.

So, my SO and I went there by 8 p.m. The things on the menu are pretty basic; pizza, burgers, fries, etc. This girl came to take our orders (she was 20-ish? maybe younger than me) and she talked to my SO first to take her order, no big deal. When I thought she was going to turn to me she just said ‘and what will he have?’ while asking my SO and not me.

My girl just looked at me confused and I answered for myself. The girl wrote it down and then said ‘Something else?’ while still not looking at me. My SO said, ‘No, that’s all’. She left and we’re like what was that?

A few minutes went by and then she came with our orders. She asked if we needed something while looking at my girl and we both said no.

She comes by a few times to check if we’re good but she doesn’t engage with me at all.

She doesn’t even look at me and I’m starting to feel uncomfortable. I ask for some napkins and she brings them but gives them to my SO. Then when my girl goes to the toilet and I call her to ask for the bill she just ignores me.

Straight-out ignores me. I just got up, went to the counter where she and a few other girls were taking some orders and I asked what her problem was. She now looked at me, and before she could speak I asked for her manager.

She brought an old lady and I explained what just happened; that while the overall service was good, she didn’t even look at me once, pretended I wasn’t even there, and ignored me when I called her for the bill.

The girl mutters something but the old lady says they’ll talk later and offers me to cover the bill. I say ‘Nah, just bring the check’, which she does. I pay and wait for my SO outside. When we went back home she asked me what happened because she saw the girl being reprimanded and I told her, she called me a jerk because the girl might’ve some trauma regarding men or I don’t know, and that she might get fired. I was okay with my behavior until that point, AITJ?”

1 points - Liked by lebe

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rbleah 4 months ago
NO, if that girl had trauma with MEN then she should NOT be working in a place that MANY MEN go to. Since you had never had a dustup with her whatever crawled up her butt she should have kept it to herself. THIS IS HER JOB to talk to CUSTOMERS. Totally ignoring one for reasons unknown is a NO NO.
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3. AITJ For Proposing To My Partner On Her Sister's Wedding Reception?

“My (now) fiancée and I have been together for 6 years and about the last year we’ve been discussing more about getting married and she wanted it to still be a surprise and said she’d be happy with however and whenever I did.

But I’ll admit I’m terrible at surprises and coming up with ideas like this but I still wanted her to love it.

So for context, she and her sister are basically best friends (1 year age difference if that matters) and she’s marrying (married) one of my best mates so we’re all close and do things together a lot.

A few months ago while their planning was still going on I sat them both down and asked if I could propose during the reception, but I 100% understood if they said no because it was their day after all. They immediately said it was a great idea and were excited about it, SIL loved the idea because their family would already be there too (I even offered to pay half the reception bill but they refused, I still gave them something as a second wedding gift anyway) and over the next few months we talked here and there about how it’d be done and decided it’d be done during the bouquet toss (cheesy I know) and all the bridesmaids were in on it because most are mutual friends.

The wedding was yesterday and we didn’t see a lot of each other because of maid of honor and groomsmen duties. Everything went off without a hitch and it was time for the bouquet toss. The girls gathered and SIL pretended to go and throw it but turned around and handed it to her instead.

She turned around to me with a confused look but saw me on my knee with a ring pop (sounds dumb but it’s an inside joke between us) in my hands and laughed through her tears. Obviously, she said yes and the rest of the night went great.

However when we woke up this morning she was acting very weird and distant and when I asked what was wrong she said she felt weird about me proposing at her sister’s wedding, that it just felt wrong like she stole her sister’s day.

I explained that she was very obviously in on it and was excited about the idea and encouraged it, but she said it still felt weird and left to work. I haven’t heard much from her today since.

Did I do something wrong?”

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rbleah 4 months ago
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2. AITJ For Telling My Daughter-In-Law That Home-Cooked Meals Are Better?

“My son and his partner (both 29) aren’t married but they’ve been together for 7 years now so I’ll refer to her as my DIL. We have a great relationship and I’m very happy she’s the one with my son.

We had some issues in the past with her being too shy and reserved but it’s all good now. They’re both doctors and are currently in the last year of their residency before becoming specialists. That means that they work a lot and have a lot of responsibilities as they both enjoy academic research, so work kind of never ends for them.

They’ve been living together for 3 years now and according to them, this is their routine. Wake up at 6 AM, go to the hospital, have lunch at the hospital cafeteria around 12, then continue to work until 17.00, and then return home.

My DIL doesn’t cook. I found out about it after they started living together and my son told me that they always ate at the hospital and on their off days they’d eat outside or order takeaway. I know for a fact that my DIL can cook well as she has helped me host family dinners and always brings something she’s made, however, she never cooks for them.

I have tried telling her that eating home-cooked meals is healthier but claims that the hospital food is also healthy and balanced and that everybody eats there.

I tried suggesting meal prep on Sundays and then taking their lunch at work but she doesn’t want to.

Apparently, her mother told her not to spend her energy doing things she doesn’t enjoy and she doesn’t feel like cooking and washing the dishes after, so she just doesn’t do it. Also, she says they work hard enough and they’re able to afford to eat out whenever they feel like it, so she doesn’t see the need to spend her limited free time cooking.

I am a lawyer so I know what a busy schedule looks like but I still always find time to cook for my family 3 times a week. It’s not the most enjoyable task but seeing my son and husband enjoy my meals was reward enough.

That’s why I’m trying to convince her to try cooking, especially since they told me they’ll try for a baby next year after their exam. The last time she was rude to me, she told me to stop trying to micromanage her and mind my own business but I’m just trying to look out for them.


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anmi 4 months ago
YtJ- encourage your son to cook and do dishes if it is so important. You are being very sexist.
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1. AITJ For Setting Boundaries With My Mother-In-Law Who Paid For My IVF?

“When my husband and I were conceiving our son (2.5) we struggled and were told we had a very low chance of getting pregnant naturally. I was gutted and MIL offered to pay for IVF.

It took a couple of rounds and she did allow us to pick who he felt was the best doctor, despite him charging the most. She insisted that it was a gift and we didn’t need to even attempt to pay her back

MIL decided to come to our state last week to finally meet him. We just aren’t close, so she had never gotten around to it. the moment she arrived she tried to pick him up and he didn’t like that.

I explained that she is a stranger and we teach him about consent, so in the future, if she wants to touch him, she needs to ask. MIL immediately told me that was so weird and do I make my husband ask every time before he touches me.

During her visit, we had issues with boundaries. She wanted to post pictures on social media and when I told her no she got huffy. I asked her not to video chat with her husband in the living room due to the language he was using.

MIL told me I was overreacting because their contractor just broke their glass sliding doors and it is perfectly normal to call him an idiot. She also kept sighing and saying I was too strict or too mean.

The final straw was when she snuck my son some of her Starbucks drink, loaded with sugar and caffeine.

I told her not to and she was like ‘Ugh mommy is so mean’. I lost it and said if she can’t respect that this is my house, my son, and my rules, she is never coming back, and that she owes me an apology for all of the eye-rolling and small aggressions.

MIL yelled at me that she gave me tens of thousands of dollars to have a child and I can’t let her act like a grandma for four days. She then got a tone and was like not to mention I bought this house (down payment) She said she probably won’t see him for another couple of years because she is busy, so why can’t she have fun for four days?

I said she might never see him again if she doesn’t respect me, and it would be her fault if she never sees him again. She lives like 7 hours away. No one ever said she couldn’t come. MIL said I’m ungrateful and if someone paid for her IVF she would let them do ‘almost whatever’.

Everyone I talked to thinks I’m in the wrong. My husband backed me to her, but doesn’t seem to really support me.”

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anma7 4 months ago
ESH… you obviously didn’t realise her’gifts’ come with strings and as such she ain’t afraid to use that fact… while it’s good you are teaching your son about consent etc.. she is his grandma although she was that bothered about being 1 she waited 2.5yrs to come see him.. weird but each to their own. I think you need to talk to hubby and ask him about paying her back end of l.. that way she ain’t got any hold over you both. But you can’t really tell her you will cut her off cos seems like she only plans to come every 2yrs or so anyway so what’s the harm.. next time she comes your son will be able to talk and tell her no himself
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