People Ask Us To Decide Their Fate In Their "Am I The Jerk?" Stories
36. AITJ For Still Holding A Grudge Against My Sister For Taking Credit For My Cookies?
“I (22f) make these really good mint chocolate chip cookies. The problem is I made these for my sister’s wedding as they are a family favorite and she asked me to. Her son was about six at the time of the wedding and he saw what happened.
What I mean by he saw what happened is my sister gave everyone else who made food for the wedding credit except for me. Not only did she not give me credit which I would be completely fine with as my family knew I made them but she took credit for them saying ‘Oh yeah they’re so hard to make but they’re my recipe I’ll never give it away’.
She couldn’t give it away even if she wanted to I’m the only one besides my wife who knows the recipe.
I left early and she stopped me and asked if I was leaving early during the reception I told her it was because she can’t even give me credit because she wants to look good.
I told her she wants to look good in front of her friends and make them herself cuz I’m never making them for her again. She asked me for the recipe then and I told her I would never give her the recipe.
2 years later she called me and asked me if I’d make them for her son’s birthday. I told her if her son wants me to make them he can contact me himself as he has a computer and a phone.
Her son asked me to and I did because her son asked me. She told my mom that her son had to ask me to make them and my mom said that I’m being an immature little sibling and that I should just get over everything that happened because it was 2 years ago.
I said I’m glad I’m being immature because I don’t want it to happen again like it did and that it’s not the first time she’s taking credit for something I’ve done and I’m not just going to let it keep happening to me.
I said she’s 25 she should learn to take credit for her own things instead of other people.
My mom and my dad have been calling me recently and texting me calling me a jerk because I can’t get over something that happened 2 years ago.
So now I’m wondering if I’m the jerk for not making cookies for my nephew’s birthday party when my sister asked instead of her son asking.
Edit: I do run a small business selling cookies and I guess that’s why I’m more upset because I made them for her for free and she took credit and I run a business out of them.”
35. AITJ For Telling My Dad To Stop Pretending He's A Great Father And Grandfather?
“My mother passed away a few months after I was born. My biological father, ‘Dan,’ stayed for the first six years of my life. But he ended up re-marrying and moving with his new wife across the country. He left me with my grandparents.
Dan would, at best, visit every bi-annually. He would show up in the morning with some treats and video games for me, talk with me about life, then he would be gone after dinner. Dan’s visits became less frequent as I got older.
I have many memories of my grandparents calling Dan when they thought I was asleep. They would beg Dan to visit me more or bring me with him to Georgia because a boy needs his father. I still adored Dan and saw him as my hero for many years.
Dan stopped visiting me after I ‘tried to ruin his marriage with my selfishness.’ Dan didn’t call me to wish me a happy thirteenth birthday, so I called him over and over hoping that he just didn’t want to wake me up because of the time difference.
His wife, ‘Sarah,’ answered the phone. Sarah was actually a very sweet lady, and I discovered Sarah didn’t even know I existed. Dan told Sarah that he had been visiting California on business and how he was childless. Dan screamed at me later saying how I deliberately tried to ruin his marriage and how selfish I was to ‘always demand his time.’ After that point, Dan stopped visiting me, and I view him as nothing more than a sperm donor to me.
I live a pretty good life. My job is nothing to brag about in terms of being fun, but it’s honest work and pays well. My wonderful wife and I have a little girl, ‘Harper,’ who is the joy of my life.
I tried not to think about Dan until I started getting notifications on social media. I did not think Dan had social media. We also have a very generic surname, so I did not worry about us finding each other. Dan left comments on almost all of our posts about Harper; From her last day of 2nd Grade to the newborn pictures.
His comments all said how beautiful and bright HIS granddaughter was. I messaged Dan telling him he has no right to act like Harper’s grandfather and to stay away from my family. He replied that Harper was his granddaughter and he gave me life so I ‘owe him some respect.’ I warned him again and blocked him.
I made a post the other day and Dan on a second account made a comment about how Harper ‘gets her good looks from her grandpa.’ I replied to Dan that if he wanted to act like my dad he had until I was thirty-two to do so.
And he has no right to pretend he’s some great father and grandfather when he moved across the country and left me with my grandparents at six. I blocked Dan again. I learned secondhand that Dan is being shamed online and will likely delete his account soon.
Family members said I was right about Dan but calling him out online was not the mature way to handle things. I realize I could have just blocked him, but for me, you don’t get to ditch your kid and then swoop in to act like a family man now that it suits you. AITJ?”
34. AITJ For Not Wanting To Pay For The Broken Door?
“About 3 months ago, I had a home invasion. It was scary, I have had trouble sleeping since then.
Unrelated to that, my partner’s family is a fan of pranks. I’ve already told them all that I don’t like it directed towards me.
Anyway, my partner and I were visiting his family and having a barbecue, drinking some beers outside. I went inside to use the bathroom and when I was heading back out, I saw a man in a ski mask hiding at the end of a dark hallway, mostly hidden by a door.
I fled for the closest doors out, this pair of stained glass double doors. I tried the handle and it didn’t open, even when I pulled really hard.
So in a panic, I grabbed a heavy-looking end table, broke the glass, and ran outside screaming ‘Call 911’.
My partner’s dad ran out of the house holding the mask. I was immediately mad, I yelled at him for scaring me.
He was upset with me about the glass and I just broke down and cried about how I was scared this was another real home intruder situation since that had recently happened to me.
His mom was getting at me asking why I had to break the glass and I said I was scared and the door wouldn’t open. She said it was a sliding door… That made sense, I was pulling on it. But I’d forgotten that in my panic.
Anyway, his dad apologized for scaring me and said he had been waiting for one of his sons or wife to play a joke on them, and when he saw me he just hung back quickly, not trying to do the prank which was apparently going to be leaping out at someone.
But I still saw him standing in the shadows which I freaked out at.
I said that of course I was freaked out by a man in a ski mask hiding in the house, especially when I was alone and wasted.
But anyway, after a few days, my partner told me that his mom wants us to cover the cost of the stained glass doors I broke, which is $3500!
But my partner doesn’t have that kind of savings and his parents know it.
So that would mean it’s all on me. And I honestly don’t think I should owe them for that… Like honestly if you try to scare someone, it’s on you if they break something when they panic.
I want to tell them that it’s a total joke they’re even asking me for the money, but my partner actually thinks we should pay.
He says I knew it was a sliding door, plus I didn’t have to break it.
I told him that even though I’d used it a while ago, that’s not the thing you remember, especially when you only have a minute to act.
And honestly, he should be proud he’s got a girl with the common sense to think on her feet and act fast. If it was a real break-in, I’d have saved my own butt and also alerted everyone else sooner than anything.
He said the door was really expensive and I said I didn’t care, if I had to light a million dollars aflame to save my own butt, I would. There’s no price on that kinda thing.
AITJ for not wanting to pay for the door?”
33. AITJ For Saying I Am Sick And Tired Of Taking Care Of Everyone And Never Getting Anything From It?
“My partner’s brother’s birthday is this weekend and they’ve planned to host a party at his mother’s house which is 2 hours away.
Planning-wise, my partner has taken on entertainment (music) and liquor/drinks for the party. What I did not realize was that he would focus solely on music and ask me to handle the liquor/drink planning.
He wants to rent a jockey box and get a 15.5-gallon keg which is fine (I think extremely excessive) and has asked me to locate a vendor and make the reservations. When I asked how he planned to pay for this, he said it was going on our shared credit card.
I don’t drink carbonated drinks at all, so I don’t think I should be responsible for paying the $450 it costs for the keg/equipment.
My partner forgot to bring half of the equipment with him when we traveled to his mom’s home last week, so now we have too many items to fit in the trunk along with our passengers and 2 dogs.
My partner’s fix: let’s rent a truck (share the $400 expense) or we can drive 2 cars to haul everything over there.
I said no, I don’t like driving through heavy traffic to his mom’s house as a passenger and hate driving there.
He kept pushing so I asked ‘How does this party benefit me in any way? I’ve taken over the planning for the keg although I don’t drink beer and I’m expected to pay half, your friends are at least coming so you’ll be busy with them all day, what am I getting out of this?’
He was extremely offended and commented that it was his brother’s party and that I need to be more of a team player since it never seems like I am.
I told him that the one time I place a boundary, I’m seen as not a team player but the many times that he says no to my desires (ex: we spent my birthday ‘trip’ with his friends instead of going to the beach because he doesn’t like large bodies of water), I have to just accept it.
I started to cry, he made a comment about my tears, and I said I’m just sick and tired of always taking care of everyone and never having anyone do anything for me. I asked him to name one time he’s done something for me that doesn’t benefit him in any way and he couldn’t.
AITJ for what I said?”
32. AITJ For Thinking My Friend Didn't Have A Miscarriage?
“This friend and I have known each other for about 7 years. We’ve had our ups and downs, mostly because she has had a tendency to be narcissistic and not respect my boundaries (like don’t corner me at a party and discuss your medical concerns with me at length).
We’ve been on the outs for a few weeks, ever since she kind of took advantage of me by begging me to drive her 3 hours to an airport (twice, since I had to pick her up too, a total of 12 hours driving).
She didn’t offer me money or treat me to dinner or anything because she was broke after her European vacation. On the drive back, I had a conversation with her about how I felt used, she apologized and promised to make it up to me.
Well, we have barely even spoken since she got back from her trip. Literally, it’s been a couple of memes back and forth, that’s it.
Then yesterday she sends me a long paragraph text about how she was so scared because she thinks she had a miscarriage, even though she was on birth control, even though the pregnancy test came back negative.
And added more details complaining about how the doctor rescheduled her appointment and was making her late for work, etc etc.
I literally didn’t care at all, because it simply seemed dramatic to me. This situation was just a false alarm like her cycle probably just got messed up from the travel.
And I’m pretty annoyed because not once has she reached out to ask me how I’m doing since she got back from her trip, chat me up, get together, anything. Then she just dumps this on me out of nowhere via text. It seemed like she was just trying to garner sympathy or pity from me.
I just ignored her completely. Said nothing. AITJ?
Further, WIBTJ if I told her exactly what I was thinking?”
31. AITJ For Asking My Sister's Partner To Explain His Joke?
“My sister (26) brought her new partner (30) over to our parents’ house to meet him for the first time. My wife and I came as well.
We met the dude, he seemed okay-ish at first but he then started asking weird and personal questions.
My wife had breast cancer and got a single mastectomy last year. She told the story to my sister’s partner and he was like ‘Oh’ then he stared at my wife briefly then ‘playfully’ said ‘Without even asking, I can pretty much tell which one got the blow’.
We were floored. My wife could barely keep a straight face. She lied so she could leave the table cause she was literally about to tear up. I just looked at the dude and said ‘Are you serious?’ He said ‘What?! I was just joking bro’.
I started asking him to explain the joke to me. He just stared. I asked him again to explain it to me in detail but still got no answer.
My sister asked me to stop because clearly, he got uncomfortable, but I insisted he explains the joke to me cause clearly…
my wife and I didn’t get it. Things got awkward with him avoiding eye contact while I just stared at him the entire time. I still insisted and asked him to explain the joke right there and then, but seconds later he said he needed to step outside to make a phone call.
Turns out he got in his car and left. My sister had a meltdown screaming and berating me for how I treated her partner. Calling me hostile with anger issues to scare her partner out of our parents’ house. I told her he was overstepping and made my wife uncomfortable to the point of crying, She actually called my wife ‘such a princess’ and said she is soft and can not take some teasing.
I had an argument with her and my parents intervened, I took my wife and left.
My dad called me later and said that he understood how hurt my wife felt but my sister’s partner was visiting for the first time and I showed hostility and aggression instead of just ignoring him.
He encouraged me to reach out to him and my sister later and talk it out but I declined.
Edit: My sister and my wife don’t have a history but my sister tends to ‘see’ the worst in people. When my wife announced her diagnosis, my sister actually thought she was ‘faking’ because the family no longer brought up my wife’s miscarriage months prior. I thought that was out of line and she apologized for it and we moved on. My sister thinks that the only ‘bad trait’ she sees in her partner is his smoking habit, she says that otherwise, he’s ‘perfect.'”
30. AITJ For Getting Into A Fight With My Partner Because Of His Comments About My Late Dog?
“My (20F) significant other (20M) and I go to the same college and he often comes to my place to study together. Now he has a childhood trauma of dogs he just can’t stand them and starts screaming whenever he sees one.
We had a dog in our house named Olive, he was a golden retriever. I loved him to bits and he was pretty much my brother.
Whenever my SO came into our house I either send Olive to play in the garden or if he wanted to come inside I locked me and my SO in my room so that Olive can roam around the house.
So a while back Olive started being very weak and started losing a lot of weight, our vet recommended taking him to a Veterinary Hospital, and once he was checked there he was diagnosed with hemangiosarcoma (a type of dog cancer), the doctor said that his body was too weak to operate and that the only solution is euthanasia, me being the selfish ignorant jerk instantly refused to it, but when I was explained by the doctor and my parents that it’s the best possible solution, I agreed to it.
After all the formalities were done the people from the hospital came to our house for the process, Olive started making little growling noises and I comforted him while having the worst smile on my face. Once the doctor confirmed that he was no more, I quietly went to my room and started crying.
I didn’t go to his funeral because I am too weak for that, I just can’t.
It took me 3 days to realize what happened was inevitable and it’s time to move on. Once I resumed college my friend asked me what happened and I told them everything, they got slightly angry with me and told me that I should have connected with them to ease my pain, after hearing that I felt a lot lighter.
But when my SO asked me the same thing and I told him what happened, he just casually said that this is the problem with keeping animals, they provide unnecessary stress and that he was happy that he can freely come to my house now without any worry, I choose to ignore these comments as first he has a trauma and second I was too mentally drained to start a verbal argument, I told him to be respectful to my situation and he apologized for it.
The next day we had a class in the college’s biggest hall when I entered the hall I saw him sitting with his friends, I sat right behind as he was busy talking, suddenly he started talking about how happy he is that my dumb dog died and he deserves to be gone.
I instantly grabbed his collar and asked him to apologize, he said he didn’t mean it to which I replied that I don’t care to apologize right now. His friend freed him from my grip, I started crying and left the hall.
It’s been 2 weeks now and he hasn’t apologized and it’s safe to say we are not on talking terms right now. Now I don’t have a trauma and don’t know how you feel in a trauma so I think I might be the jerk here.”
29. AITJ For Telling My Neighbor "Tough Luck" When It Comes To Finding Their Dog?
“On Friday, a loose dog wandered into our yard at about 8 PM. This dog has been loose in our neighborhood at least three times in the past month, but this is the first time we had been able to get close enough to grab him.
I walked the dog through our neighborhood going door to door to any houses that had their lights on or door open, asking if anyone recognized the dog. No one did.
I brought the dog back to my house, attached him to a dog lead we have in our front yard (we have our own dog), and went inside to grab a bowl of water for the dog.
When I got back out the dog has managed to get itself free from the lead and was gone.
I checked my exterior-facing cameras and saw the dog running off, but did not save the video because I didn’t see any reason to.
This afternoon (4 days later!), a neighbor I have never met before showed up at my door with her two kids asking if I had seen their dog and described the dog perfectly. Other neighbors said they remembered seeing me walking him, but I told her unfortunately he got away from me shortly after I found him and I haven’t seen him since.
She said okay and left.
About 30 minutes later, the kids came back by themselves and pounded on my door. I had left by then and asked if I could help them via my doorbell. They very accusingly said, ‘My mom said you have cameras and if that’s true you need to show us the video of him leaving.’ I informed them that I saw their dog 4 days ago and my cameras only save about 24 hours of footage before overwriting itself.
They left, and the mom came back to my house also demanding the footage, to which I explained the same thing.
She replied, ‘Well the neighbors said you had him.’ to which I responded with ‘I don’t have your dog, and your dog is not my responsibility to keep track of.’
She told me ‘Thanks for nothing, jerk,’ and left.
Edit – They live a few doors down and I haven’t seen them before. This is the first time I’ve ever seen these people. There are no ‘lost dog’ posters anywhere in the neighborhood, and no posts in our neighborhood social media group or Nextdoor. It appears no effort was made to look for the dog at all until now.”
28. AITJ For Driving Off And Leaving My Stepsister Behind?
“My partner and I had a really nice evening planned. We planned to go to an amusement park and after that have a romantic dinner. The problem came when my step-sister wanted to tag along, I simply told her no she cannot.
She still insisted and I refused. She just went quiet. (Some background info about my step-sister: she is absolutely obsessed with my partner. She always wants to hang out with him, and whenever he comes over she just has to be there, so my partner and I never have alone time at our house so we go to his place or we go out.
Whenever my partner brings me flowers she throws a tantrum and says she wants flowers too and demands that my partner get her flowers too. I just ignore her. She’s tried texting my partner but he’s just ignored her texts.)
So my partner told me he was gonna pick me up at 6 pm and I told my mum my partner is picking me up at 6 pm and my sister was there hearing all of it.
I got ready and my partner texted me that he was outside and also said that he didn’t know we were bringing my sister and I was instantly confused. I went outside to see my step-sister in the car and sitting in the front seat.
I was so mad, I went to the car and asked her what she was doing and she acted all innocent and said that ‘I thought you wanted me to come along with both of you’.
I wasn’t really in the mood to argue with her so I told her that mum was calling her and told her we would wait for her.
So she went back inside I got in the front seat and told my partner to drive off before she came back outside and told him she lied and that I had said no such thing. We drive off and 5 mins later she calls me and starts cussing at me for ditching her like that and driving off, I told her she wasn’t included in the first place and so I don’t regret what I did.
Minutes later I got messages from my stepdad for treating his daughter like a piece of crap. My mum said I could’ve handled this more maturely instead of driving off and embarrassing her like that. I think there would’ve been no way she would’ve backed off. My partner is on my side. It’s been a week and my step-sister and her dad have been acting super cold towards me and they demand I apologize to my sister. So AITJ?”
27. AITJ For Only Rewarding One Of My Two Daughters?
“I have two daughters, Lena (13) and Zoe (17). For their schooling, I’ve always encouraged them to try, rather than caring about grades. I’ve always found work ethic, resilience, and responsibility to be more important than smarts alone, so I would say that is what I always focused on.
School is properly back this year, so my wife and I decided to reward them if they did well. I would say the expectations were clear, and about them behaving well rather than grades.
(The reward was contingent on good behavior. ‘Doing well’ referred to their effort, see my next sentence explaining my expectations were about behaving.
I NEVER changed the basis of the reward.)
The girls’ semester reports came out yesterday. While the main focus is academics, each subject also grades and comments on behavior in class. Lena got mostly Cs, but she struggles with school so that’s an achievement for her.
Her teachers all graded her behavior as perfect and mentioned how she was clearly trying and everything. Zoe, to put it very crudely, basically had all but one of her teachers saying she’s extremely smart (almost straight As), but a complete jerk and a problem in class.
So in my opinion, Lena should be rewarded, but not Zoe.
Still, that night we took them both out and celebrated finishing the semester. We did say we were proud of them and everything. But today I talked to Zoe about what her teachers said.
She says it’s not her fault her teachers suck and are boring, which may be true, but she still can’t be rude or distract others. Zoe really wasn’t happy about the discussion and got upset when I told her she wouldn’t be rewarded.
She basically thought her grades should mean it’s fine, and that I’m punishing her when it’s not her fault. I decided to leave the discussion for later when she was calmer but made it clear that while I’m disappointed in her acting up, I do still love her and am proud of her doing well score-wise.
By this evening it seemed to have calmed, but Zoe overheard Lena talking to my wife about deciding on her reward and got angry again. She said it’s unfair that Lena is getting rewarded for bad grades, but she gets nothing for As.
I tried to take her aside and talk to her explaining that it wasn’t about the grade, but she didn’t take it well and claimed that we love Lena more and are favoring her. That it’s unfair that she has such lower standards to meet, but that’s not the case.
My wife feels bad and changed her mind and thinks that maybe we should reward her with something since she did so well academically, and it was a struggle to adjust given everything. But I don’t think we should reward her for misbehaving.
Even if she scores well, if she acts up it can harm other students, I know that happened back when I was in school. I haven’t changed my mind, and don’t thinks it’s wrong. But my wife clearly thinks that it’s a jerk move.”
26. AITJ For Going Off At My Husband While He Was Doing A Livestream?
“My (f32) husband (m35) has a YouTube channel with over 14k followers. He’s been doing live streaming a lot lately even though I told him that we have responsibilities to take care of. Before our daughter (she’s 7 months old) was born he’d stream randomly and spend a lot of time with his ‘followers’.
Answering questions and engaging in conversations. He keeps saying that his followers are good for his mental health and that engaging with them weekly makes him become better at socializing and communicating.
He’s been complaining about wanting to do a live stream for days.
I told him we’d look at our schedule and see if we could get him some time to make it happen. Apparently, this wasn’t good enough. Yesterday I had to go grocery shopping and asked him to keep an eye on our daughter while she was asleep.
He said okay.
I was gone for 4 hours but kept calling him to see if everything was OK. He’d tell me she was alright and that she was sleeping. I started getting this weird feeling something was wrong because she must’ve been hungry or needed a diaper change.
He argued that everything was fine. I immediately went home and when I entered the house I didn’t find him, I shouted his name but got nothing. I went into the bedroom and saw that my daughter was awake and her diaper wasn’t changed…
and worse was that her bottle wasn’t even touched.
I was confused. I got out and noticed that his office door was closed. I figured he was doing a live streaming from the noise I heard. I was beyond seething I barged into the office and saw him sitting.
I blew up while he was trying to turn his mic off and telling me to stop but I didn’t stop. I berated him for leaving our daughter unattended and with no milk or diaper change. He freaked out on me saying I just ended his entire channel and destroyed his fan base for interrupting his live stream and embarrassing and scandalizing him like that.
I told him to not say a word but he kept yelling calling me out of control and unhinged. He was almost crying so I had to leave the office.
He kept fighting with me til I decided to go stay with my mom.
He started blaming me for ignoring his needs after he already expressed them and that he forgot to do what I asked him and I’d cost him so much. Now he is asking me to come back home because he misses his daughter.”
25. AITJ For Having My Son Come With Me To A Concert?
“So I (45M) and my wife (46F) both love this small indie band that’s kinda local, however, due to their size they don’t really have any large-ish scale concerts, however, I found out they were opening for this other band, so I got us tickets, I thought worst case scenario, if we hate the main band we can just go out to dinner after the opener.
I surprised my wife with the tickets and she loved the idea.
We both decided to listen to the music of the main band to see if it was something we would stick around for or if I should reserve a table nearby.
It wasn’t really my kind of music and my wife flat-out hated it, so I thought dinner it was. However my wife started acting weird whenever it came up, she couldn’t give me a straight answer on where she wanted to eat, if she wanted to drink (so if she was I wouldn’t be drinking so I could drive) until she just told me that she couldn’t go since something with work had come up.
Part of me thought she just didn’t want to go anymore, but I didn’t argue and just decided I would sell the tickets.
I’m not that good with computers and stuff so I asked my son (17M) to help me resell the tickets.
He agreed, grabbed his laptop, and pulled up a few sites, then he saw the tickets. He started gushing and freaking out, he loved the main band and had no idea they were performing there. Seeing how hyped he was, and since while it wasn’t my thing I didn’t hate the music, I asked if he wanted to go.
Of course, he said yes.
When my wife found out she was upset, apparently she wanted me to sort something else for us to do that night instead of the concert. I reminded her that she said some work thing came up, she admitted to me that she had lied because she wanted me to sell the tickets, then once I had was gonna tell me that the work thing had sorted itself out and that we should do something else that night.
I told her I’ll plan something for us to do soon, but that I was going to the concert with our son.
She started yelling at me that she never gets anything nice and she was so happy when I had decided to treat her but now I’m flushing it all away for him when this was supposed to be about her.
There is no special date, it’s not our anniversary or anything so I don’t understand why we can’t do something another weekend. She’s really mad at me and is being kinda cold to our son over this, I thought it was stupid but now I’m not sure, so AITJ?”
24. AITJ For Standing Up For My Daughter?
“My (40F) ex (40M, we’ll call D) and I have 2 children together (17M and 14F, I’ll call her L).
He has focused a lot of his anger and control on our daughter lately, blaming her for the custody issue that’s currently going on.
L is in a school club, and in 2 years, the club will be doing a huge trip to a foreign country. She gets very good grades, and this trip will open up possibilities not only for future college credits but scholarships.
D said he would pay half of the cost. The first meeting to discuss price, itinerary, etc… was today. During the meeting, D was looking at his phone. Then he started showing L articles about a bunch of bad stuff about the country.
She asked him to please wait until after the meeting to show her things, so she could pay attention. He kept interrupting, and at one point asked the presenter if security would be traveling with the group of kids and adults.
L was embarrassed. D kept telling me and L all the horrible things that happen there. I asked him to stop and told him the school wouldn’t put our children at risk. On the way out of the meeting, he told L he would have to teach her various survival situations, how to defend herself, ‘get herself out of situations’, and how to ‘watch for the bad people.’
She said, ‘No thank you, Dad.’ He responded, ‘Well if you want any of my money, you’ll do what I say!’ I calmly put my arm around L and said, ‘If your dad doesn’t want to contribute, that’s ok.
We’ll make it work.’ He immediately told me to shut up. L and I left. L told me thanks for standing up for her, but I feel sort of bad. When it comes to certain decisions and interactions, I try to keep a unified front.
I just felt like D was bullying L, and is trying to make it so she can’t/won’t go. AITJ?
Edit: To clarify, my ex recently lost custody of the kids. We were in a custody battle after L came to me with concerns over her dad’s mental health and the mistreatment they were experiencing at his house.
Ex demanded a forensic psych eval (for me, but the judge made him go as well), and that caused full custody to be awarded to me immediately following the release of the results.
Also, ex was in the military, but is very out of shape and lacks the physical ability to teach L anything without causing injury to himself. He struggles with walking.”
23. AITJ For Sympathizing With My Dad?
“I am between Scylla and Charybdis (a rock and a hard place). My mom died a month ago. A week after, my father got himself a partner. He told us he is madly in love with this woman.
My mom had a neurodegenerative disease for 30 years and my father was the primary caretaker.
He took good care of her. We knew how tired he was but he always said he wouldn’t trade it for the world.
To be honest, it wasn’t a surprise that my mom was dying. It was a matter of when.
After she died, my father wanted everything hers out of the house immediately.
He said it was too hard to see her things around. He also told us the house was too quiet and it was very difficult for him to be alone.
A week after, he announced he has a new woman and she is a mutual friend of theirs for 20+ years.
We were shocked.
My sister became very angry with my dad and I was too at first. We excluded his partner from our family gatherings. Our sis told her kids that she was disappointed with Dad. (My dad loves the grandkids. They are his Achilles heels.)
Every time my dad talked about her, we would try to change the topic.
We did not hide our dismay.
His partner told her family about being with our dad and they didn’t take it well. His partner wasn’t invited to any Christmas dinner. She was alone in her house.
After talking with some people, I started to sympathize with Dad.
He had said his goodbye years ago. He is 70+ yrs old. He has waited for 20+ years already.
My birthday is coming up and I plan to invite her to my b-day dinner and tell my sister.
My sis is very opinionated.
She has made it very clear that she doesn’t like the new woman. She calls her ‘our replacement mom’.
I know siding with Dad will upset Sis. AITJ if I choose to side with Dad? I want him to be happy. He is now enjoying his life.
(Going out several times a week. In the past, he had to stay home with mom.)
Update: Dad’s new partner also has the same neurodegenerative disease, albeit much more mild. Also, she isn’t new to us. She is a long-time family friend.”
22. AITJ For Refusing To Give My Medal To My Friend?
“I (18f) have a best friend (17f) ‘Bonnie’ and we both do horse riding. Recently Bonnie sneakily bought the horse I was competing on and was planning to buy (we had an agreement with the owner). Her family offered the owner 2 times the amount he is worth (they are really well off).
I only found out 3 weeks after from the owner by asking why the owner no longer allows me to ride him despite the agreement between them and my family (my family runs an equine center).
So I had one last competition on him which Bonnie also entered on the same horse.
Our tests were on different days and we compete in different classes. To put it simply she is in a smaller under-18 class with an easier program and I’m in a larger 18 and over with a more complicated program. I couldn’t pull out from the competition due to all the fees paid and Bonnie knew it would be suspicious if someone pulls out but she would keep her entry on the same horse.
Bonnie didn’t perform well and came 10th in her class. She blamed the horse and said that it is due to him being a difficult one to get used to (he is not and in fact a very lovely one). I came first in my class and took first place with a much higher score than she did.
After I made sure the horse is clean, gave him treats and a good rub as he was such a good horse (Bonnie left him to me in abysmal condition and didn’t even come to see him performing).
Yesterday Bonnie asked me for my medal.
She said that she deserves it more since it is her horse. I reminded her that she knew about the competition entry and it was her suggestion for me not to pull out from it as she might get eliminated as well if they suspect something is wrong with the horse and there are some rules that won’t allow me to pull out that easily.
She still insisted to get my medal and my results sheet since ‘it’s her horse and clearly, I didn’t do anything to achieve such results’. I got frustrated and reminded her about her performance, Bonnie got offended and stormed off.
I got a call from her dad saying I must give her my medal, all my results sheets, and winnings (which were about 50$) since it’s their horse but I refused.
I don’t mind giving the winnings but the medal and the result sheet are the last things I have from this horse as a reminder of him being in my life. Because of this, I was called a jerk and while some people including my family are on my side, some believe I should give everything to my friend.”
21. WIBTJ If We Give My Stepson And His Partner Two Months' Notice To Leave?
“My (35F) stepson (19M) and his significant other (18F) live with us. Stepson Steve and SO Amber moved in over six months ago. This happened for many reasons but it boiled down to they needed help. Nowhere to go, no job, no car, nothing so we said sure come on in.
Get a job, go to school take some time figure out what you want to do with your life. Basic house rules include cleaning up after yourself, keeping your room and bathroom clean and if you are going to be home late just text us so we aren’t worried.
Well, we got them a car, and actually offered a second car for when Amber gets her driver’s license. Helped them apply for jobs, encouraged them to go to school, etc.
Of course, small issues cropped up. Not doing their own dishes, hiding dishes in their room, leaving the bathroom and counters dirty, etc.
We would address the issues and have a conversation about correcting them. Well eventually we realized that they aren’t moving forward, yes they have jobs at this point but they aren’t saving funds, they aren’t going to school, they only work part-time and all they do is lay around doing nothing so we gave them till February to find their own place.
Long story short a family emergency happened and we told them that they have more time.
THEN THEY ALMOST BURNT THE HOUSE DOWN. If my husband hadn’t worked up early and realized they’d left a space heater on less than a foot away from the couch it would have caught fire.
To say I’m mad is an understatement. They are lazy, careless, and don’t seem to care. Their bathroom literally has boogers on the wall, the toilet is disgusting and I am just tired.
They are old enough to understand consequences, they have been asked repeatedly to do things that they don’t do.
They are so lazy that even though they have a free-running vehicle Amber can’t be bothered to get a driver’s license. Grandma offered to pay for Steve to go to a trade school and offered to pay for Amber to get professional driving lessons.
All they had to do was register and get her the information. They didn’t do it.
I don’t know if they even have jobs anymore. They haven’t been to work in over 2 weeks. One says his boss is fine with it, the other says she was told to come back at the end of the month to work in a different department. Neither of those reasons makes sense. I think they got fired for calling out too many times.
So my question is will we be the jerks for giving them two months’ notice to get out of our house?”
20. AITJ For Causing The Head Teacher To Get Fired?
“I’m a daycare teacher and I (22F) was an assistant to Head Teacher (31F) and saw her do some straight-up wrong things to the kids.
I’m now a head teacher and love it, except that I still had to deal with HT (Head Teacher).
She’s made it clear to everyone that she doesn’t like me. This doesn’t bother me. What bothers me is her attitude and how she treats the children.
The last straw was when I came to work at 7:30 am and went to her room to pick up my kids who arrived before 7:30.
She had 10 kids in the room by herself. She got snippy with me for leaving her alone with 10. I didn’t make the schedule that had her alone. I told her this and she just rolled her eyes and walked away.
I go to my room and see K’s (2M) pants are soaked in pee. He had an accident while in her room and she didn’t notice. In my room, we tell him to go potty every 30 minutes so he doesn’t have an accident.
We’ve gone a week with no accidents until now.
I had no way of knowing how long he’d been sitting in his pee and I know she doesn’t like K, she’s told him to his face. She’d always withhold fruit and milk from him until he ate the vegetables at lunch, which he never did.
We are required to put all foods on their plates, even if they don’t eat it or it’s the only thing they eat.
She’s very snippy with me and always makes snide comments. She’s even yelled at me in front of several kids for ‘lying’ to our director about something she said, even though she said it to 3 other people.
One of my kids’ parents heard her yelling at me and called our director to report it. The director talked to HT about it and HT apologized. Things were normal for a while and then she got bad again.
She’d pick kids up by their upper arms, she’d tell them to their faces that she didn’t like them or that they’re dumb.
These kids are 2 years old. If a kid is misbehaving or does something to another child, she’ll get in their face and yell at them saying ‘They don’t like that’ while pulling on their arms to have them sit out.
I sent an email to the owner of the daycare letting her know how bad she’s been treating the kids. I told the owner about how she’s been treating me and other coworkers. A few hours after I sent the email, we were told HT was sent home and another teacher was filling in for her.
Another staff saw her pick a child up by the arm and reported it as well.
HT was told not to come in for her shifts on Friday or Monday, but our director told everyone she was not sure when HT will be back.
When they explained the situation to her assistant teacher, they made it sound like HT wasn’t coming back.
I told a few people about the email and they say I’m a jerk for getting her fired because now we’re down a teacher. We’re very short-staffed and have staff quit often.
I would rather be short-staffed than subject the kids to her mistreatment. Am I the jerk for sending that email to the owner and getting HT suspended if not fired?”
19. AITJ For Calling My Sister Lazy And Pathetic?
“My wife and I are temporarily living with my parents while our house is being renovated.
I have two older sisters, Sandra and Tia. Sandra and Tia are polar opposites: Sandra is the laziest person I know while Tia is the most driven and ambitious person I know.
Tia finished her undergrad in 2.5 years due to the sheer amount of AP and community college credits that she earned in high school. She completed her neurosurgery residency in 2020 and is married to an equally brilliant corporate lawyer. Tia and her husband just bought a beautiful 7,800-square-foot house.
In short, she’s doing extremely well for herself right now.
Meanwhile, Sandra attended 3 different colleges (both community colleges and 4-year colleges) in the 6 years following high school and still doesn’t have a degree. Our parents paid for all of it and they’re not exactly happy about her lack of a degree.
Since dropping out, Sandra hasn’t been able to hold down a job for more than a year. She’s been jobless since March 2020 yet still does nothing but watch TV and post on TikTok.
Last month, my BIL (he has the most stressful job on the planet right now: ICU nurse) finally came to his senses and asked Sandra for a divorce.
Thankfully, they had no children. Sandra called Tia and asked if she could stay at her house temporarily. Tia of course refused. Then Sandra called our parents to complain about Tia’s refusal. (‘I don’t understand, there’s no way that they’re using all 7 bedrooms.’)
When Sandra was done calling our parents, I texted her to tell her that ‘it’s honestly pathetic that a 36-year-old woman feels the need to complain to her retired parents about a situation that was caused by years and years of her own laziness.’ Well, Sandra must’ve told our parents what I said because later that evening my mom said that I went too far.”
18. AITJ For Telling The School Board About My Bully?
“I was born cross-eyed and my parent had to pay for expensive surgeries to get my eyes to become somewhat correct. I used to wear glasses and dealt with some vision issues when I was younger but now I have pretty decent vision, but will forever have a lazy eye.
Which is fine with me, but for some reason my peers love to pick on me for this issue. They will straight up ignore me when I’m talking to them, will ask me who I’m talking to even though I’m ‘looking’ straight at them, and will always ask me what’s wrong with my eye even though I’ve already told them countless times that I have a lazy eye.
Because of their bullying, I’ve dealt with self-esteem issues, and this one girl has made it a point to target me even more because of it. She used to be my friend but then she turned on me once I showed signs of wanting to fit into her popular group, and then she started treating me pretty badly.
Like she’s probably treated me even worse than the other teens have, and even resorted to throwing food at me during lunch and posting ‘loser’ sticker notes on my back when I wasn’t looking. It started to really affect me so I finally decided to tell my parent what she was doing to me, and they went ballistic on this girl.
My parent held a conference with the school and actually got this girl expelled for what she did to me, and now my peers have started treating me a bit nicer but I can tell they still don’t trust me or something.
Was I wrong to tell them that I was getting bullied? I think I was. Maybe I should’ve sucked it up. I felt like the jerk in this situation because the girl came from a really poor family and she had already been expelled from three different schools before and now I’ve done the same to her. I feel like I should’ve handled this situation more maturely. I don’t know, you guys are the experts.
Did I overreact?”
17. AITJ For Wanting My Sister To Pay For The Blanket She Commissioned For Me To Do?
“I (30F) love crocheting as a hobby and a casual side hustle. I mostly make blankets, sweaters, hats, etc for my nieces & nephews, friends, and other family members as gifts. But like I said I also do it as a side hustle so I have price lists and I sell on Etsy and social media.
My sister ‘Mary’ (38F) asked me if I could make a blanket for her to give to her husband for his bday. I asked what size/design and told her the price. Now, I have stressed over my pricing for a long time and she was one of the people to say I’m short-changing myself and undercharging for my work.
The price I gave her is heavily discounted from my posted prices since she is family.
Mary got annoyed with me and said I was only charging her because I hate her husband. I do in fact hate her husband (and she knows it and even understands why) but that’s not why I’m charging her.
While I love crocheting, it does take a lot of time and effort and I think I deserve to be compensated for it even if it’s for family. We haven’t talked about it again.
I think it’s important to note that Mary and I are super close like best friends.
I do anything and everything for her and her kids and she does the same for me. I tried to mentally remove Mary’s husband from the equation and ask myself if I would do this for her if it was for one of her kids.
It still feels weird for someone to give one of my handmade blankets to someone else as a gift unless they pay me for it. That would feel like it’s just me giving the gift.
But, I can never tell if I’m being a jerk when it comes to Mary’s husband so I’m looking for unbiased outside opinions.”
16. AITJ For Announcing That Two Of My Groupmates Didn't Do Anything?
“Basically, I was paired up with 3 people for a class presentation. It was assigned to us on Monday and due on Friday. I made a group chat with all of us and said something along the lines of ‘We need to start with the project soon, please tell me when you are free so that we can schedule a call.’ No answer for 2 days.
On Wednesday, I called the group multiple times, and nobody except this one girl (‘Sally’) picked up. We chose what we wanted to research and gave the remaining stuff to the other two. This seemed fair to me and Sally because we were the only ones making an effort.
I knew that the other two people probably wouldn’t do the work properly, so I assigned myself more work to do. Sally insisted on doing more work too so that I didn’t have to do everything myself (thank you, Sally).
So we finally get answers from the other two group members Thursday evening (the presentation is on Friday), and they send absolute crap as their research.
One of them sent his research exactly within the word limit that I had specified, but it was all copied from Wikipedia, word for word. The other member sent a 700-word document of research, most of it not even related to the topic.
I was mad. Sally and I were working our butts off for this stupid project and the others weren’t even making an effort. I did whatever I could and made a somewhat good presentation.
Then here is where I feel like I’m the jerk.
I made a credits page and basically everything was mine and Sally’s name. This would have been ok I guess, if I didn’t announce it to the whole class.
Basically, when we ended the presentation, I loudly said ‘The ones who made an effort for this project were – Sally (then I said everything she had done), me (everything I had done), and a special thanks to the other two for not doing anything.’
After the class, I explained all of it to the teacher, and I and Sally got full on that project and the other two got a D.
Obviously I’m hated by them now, but what surprised me was when a lot of my friends said that what I did ‘wasn’t cool’, and ‘it was just a project’. I don’t know if what I did was right, and I feel really guilty now. AITJ?”
15. AITJ For Staying Away From My Husband And His Friends At The Amusement Park?
“Last weekend, my (32F) husband Sam (32M) and a few of his friends and spouses arranged to go to an amusement park. I am not a huge fan of loud, hot, crowded places. I find it overwhelming. Moreover, I could not go on the thrill rides as I recently had surgery and have very high blood pressure.
Sam convinced me to go to connect with his friends.
When we came, their itinerary was a tight schedule of all thrill rides. The first ride was a rollercoaster. I was in line as a placeholder for a person. One friend, Jake, collected everyone’s phones and put them in his bag.
I tried to tell him that I couldn’t go on the ride, but it seems I was unclear. I didn’t want to make a fuss for this one ride so I gave him my phone. When the person returned, I got out of line and waited at one of the two exits as they would meet me there.
After waiting for 40 mins, I realized they must have gone to the other exit and left without me. I checked the other nearby rides but I couldn’t find them. I went to a first aid station, and I called my phone and then my husband but he didn’t pick up.
At first, I tried to stay in the area, but it was high traffic, loud, and very hot. I still had my pass and cash with me. I found a quieter, shaded area, bought lunch, met a very nice elderly couple who showed me a few spots, won a plushie and a blanket from a vending machine, and had dinner.
I had fun.
There was an announcement that the park would close in half an hour. I decided I would go to our parked car to wait for the group. 30 mins later, one of Sam’s friends, Nancy, found me next to the car and dragged me to the others. They were furious because they had been frantically looking for me for the last half an hour.”
14. AITJ For Not Taking A Resigned Employee Back?
“I (33f) am a senior manager and preparing to take over from one of the directors and take on their role.
Three months ago, I accepted the resignation of one of my staff members (29m), wished them well, and prepared their exit interviews with HR.
I had been having problems with him for a 6 months period. I’d given him a pay rise (a 2% increase to his salary), however, he had claimed this was not enough and he was looking to at least go up by 10%.
I had previously told him to put together a case that showcased why he was entitled to more pay. I would review it and make a decision. It’s worth noting that I do this with all my staff and we discuss formally pay-related queries.
This exercise allows me to see this from my staff’s point of view.
Instead of doing as I asked, the staff member began posting reviews about the company and why we are bad to work for, including how we do not value colleagues and will not pay them for additional work (which is not true for my team).
As the colleague had raised other issues with HR, which he also commented on in the reviews, we knew where this had come from. As this was supposed to be an anonymous review, we couldn’t bring this up with him.
As he hadn’t got a further pay rise on the back of his conversations with me, he decided it would be in his best interest to do minimal work, resulting in me taking on some of his workloads along with another member of my staff, this was so the profitability of the business didn’t drop.
Now to the jerk issues –
The day after I accepted the resignation of my staff member, I got a message on social media from his partner, telling me how much of a jerk I was as I’d ruined their chances of buying a house as I’d accepted his resignation.
I clarified that I hadn’t fired him, he had resigned of his own will.
It turns out, he had handed in his resignation, thinking I would have offered him more money to stay. He didn’t have another job to go into.
He too, called me a jerk and reported me to HR for not offering him extra pay to keep him on.
Of course, HR did nothing of this. He worked his notice and left the company on his leave date.
Yesterday, I got a message, asking if I would give him his job back. I explained why I wouldn’t give him his job back and told him we were not currently recruiting for my team and made a comment that there were always jobs in the call center he could apply for.
He called me a jerk, told me I had ruined his life and he couldn’t get another job.
I really don’t see myself as the jerk here, I’m attempting to ensure the company I work for isn’t damaged, and the childish behavior of ‘I’ll hand in my notice so I get a pay rise’ really doesn’t sit well with me. I’d rather my staff feel like they have earned what they get and feel like they’re growing, not just getting handouts.
13. AITJ For Refusing To Do Extra Work For My Pregnant Coworker?
“I work in childcare and am currently in the 1-2 year-old room. As you can imagine there are a lot of nappies (diapers) that need to be changed every day. We have 10 kids a day and will change them at least every 3 hours, more if they’re soiled or extra wet.
I work in this room with my lovely coworker Bethany who is a few years older than me. Now onto the issue at hand.
Beth is currently 6 months pregnant and isn’t planning on going on her maternity leave for another 2 months if all goes well.
This wouldn’t be a problem aside from the fact that with her pregnancy she has had a lot of problems picking up the children, bending down to do jobs, and the main issue at hand, changing nappies. She struggles with lifting the children up to the changing mat and will become nauseous when changing them.
It’s gotten to the point where she has asked our supervisor if she could be exempt from nappies for the next two months. Their ‘solution’ was for me to cover her nappy shifts until she goes on maternity leave and the cover arrives.
What this means is I am expected to do all the nappies (upwards of 30 a day) along with all of my other duties while she gets to do the more ‘fun jobs’ such as planning and participating in activities with the children, as we do nappies and activities at the same time (always taking turns between the days).
When I heard that this was the plan I was really upset and voiced my displeasure to my supervisor who asked me to just put up with it to help Beth until she goes on maternity leave and we can hire someone else.
I told my boss that I would not accept this and would put in my notice if they expected me to do extra work for the same pay and that considering the worker shortage I would have no problem finding a new job.
Because of this my superior basically told Beth to suck it up and now she’s really upset with me and saying I should’ve just taken one for the team.
So AITJ for refusing to do extra work for my pregnant coworker?”
12. AITJ For Not Wanting To Console My Sister?
“I (19F) got out of a two-year relationship that ended with me being lied to. This happened three months ago. I’ve been heartbroken and my sister (16F) Lizzie was being supportive, as have my parents. My sister was acting a bit weird when I talked about my ex and the girl he had an affair with, but I thought nothing of it as she’s been nice otherwise.
Turns out I should have.
Two weeks ago, I, my parents and basically everyone at her school learned she’s been talking with a guy (18M) who was in a relationship, and even pursuing him. She claims he pursued her first and kept talking to her but I don’t believe it, she shouldn’t have talked to him at all.
The guy’s SO and her friends confronted Lizzie about it in school in front of everyone. She’s been shunned and ‘bullied’ ever since. She claims it’s because the girl is more popular than Lizzie ever was, but that’s nonsense because what my sister did was plain wrong and she should take responsibility for her actions.
The guy has blocked her as well and cut off all contact with her.
When this happened, I exploded on her. I said some really harsh things that I think she deserved. About how she knew the position I was in and she continued to talk to said guy, how she’s a liar, etc.
I think she should learn her lesson on this, but she started weeping and my parents started comforting her, being all nice. I couldn’t believe it. Ever since I’ve been avoiding her as much as I can. It’s hard though, she gets in my face all.
the. time, trying to beg for approval and forgiveness.
Yesterday when I was out with friends, one of them told me about how Lizzie tried to contact the guy once again, although he didn’t do anything (my friend knows some of his friends).
When I went home, I was furious. I don’t remember ever feeling this mad in my life. I saw her just, peacefully eating and that sent me off even more. I went off on her, telling her about how I couldn’t believe her once again.
Among other things, I told her she should stop playing the mistress because she doesn’t even have the beauty for it, that she shouldn’t think she ever meant anything to him, and that she never deserves to. I know it might sound harsh but keep in mind this is my sister.
The girl that was supposed to support me but she backstabbed and terribly hurt me like this. My parents want to kick me out now (that’s the only part of the fight they heard) saying about how she’s in a really bad stop and I have to support her. But honestly? So am I, in a worse one, to be fair.
So, am I really the jerk here? I did always know she was really sensitive so there’s that.”
11. AITJ For Wanting My Half-Siblings To Take A DNA Test?
“I (34F) am the firstborn child from my father’s (68M) second marriage. My dad married his previous wife (60s F, most likely above 65) very young as she had gotten pregnant with my oldest halfbrother ‘Mark’ (48M). They had two more children in total together ‘Mindy’ and ‘Martin’ (44F, 40M).
They got divorced cause his previous wife was having an affair with another married man. He later married my mom a few years later and we’re four siblings in total – Me, ‘Adam’, ‘Anna,’ and ‘Aaron’ (30M, 26F, 23M).
There have always been rumors that my two youngest half-siblings, Mindy and Martin, aren’t my dad’s but the affair partner’s children but we’ve dismissed them as we don’t have much of a relationship with them from the get-go.
Their mother is a really toxic person who we’ve avoided most of our lives and because of her, the relationship between our half-siblings has always been strained.
Dad is a hugely successful business owner and he has always provided for all his children.
He has paid for all our educations so we all could live a debt-free life, has helped us with businesses or getting us jobs, and even helped us buy our own homes. A few years ago when Martin was jailed for fraudulent cheques my father paid off all his fines, bail, and lawyer fees which included the amount he owed all 300k in total.
Yet he hasn’t received so much as a thank you from any of my half-siblings on the other hand they constantly fight with him accusing him of liking my siblings and me over them and resent my mother for no apparent reason.
They’ve always used father as an ATM and felt entitled to it in fact.
Mark recently came over to Dad and told him that he needs to know what Dad intends to leave them in his will to make sure they will be treated fairly.
This made me mad as Dad is healthy and fit as ever. I suggested ALL of Dad’s children take a DNA test then we can go over his will and what he wishes to leave us. Apparently, this was the wrong thing to say soon I was getting angry calls from my half-siblings and their mother calling me all sorts of names and my dad’s previous wife even called me a ‘wicked foolish little jerk’.
While Dad hasn’t said much on the matter he has become awfully quiet which is what he does when he’s upset whether it’s with me or my half-brother what I’m unsure about. My mother did say that I shouldn’t have said anything knowing how volatile my dad’s previous wife and my half-siblings can be and we could’ve dealt with this issue when the time was right.
So AITJ here?
Edit: While I thank my dad as I wouldn’t be where I am today without his help, I’m very financially stable and can live a comfortable life without his inheritance. The same goes for most of my siblings only the youngest who has chosen to join my father’s business is slightly dependent on him but he is a very hard worker and my father is very proud of him.
As for my half-siblings, when we were kids my father tried to take Mark under his wing and had him join the company. Taught him all the ropes and as in every work environment you’re expected to wake up early and do your job.
Mark didn’t like this calling my father a bad father as he was spoiling us rotten yet expected him to act as his slave. He was an adult then but wanted to be treated the same as a child to wake up late, not have any responsibilities, and get paid for doing basically nothing.
His mother backed him up and bad-mouthed my father wherever she went. After a huge fight where he insulted my father in front of his employees, my dad fired him (Mark says he quits). It was the same with the other two.
Mindy started a fight bringing her mother along to face my father as to why her mother doesn’t have nice jewelry like my mother does and how he raised them in poverty.
My father’s business was in the early stages then but they were far from poor.
They went to the best private schools and my father got their mother diamond rings, and expensive necklaces and even bought her gold bangles from a trip to Iran. Yes, it wasn’t as much as today but they still felt she was entitled to the same treatment as his current wife my mother.
All the while, their mother sat silent acting like the victim.
That’s why I say this isn’t the first time they’ve done this and I hate to see my dad’s blood pressure go up because of them. He’s the type of person who’ll go silent when angry then blow up like a volcano when provoked to the point of no return.
And it’s always because of my half-siblings. This might seem like a lie but we value our father more than the money. So I told them to get a DNA test to put them in their place. The money they feel entitled to and the father they have been bad-mouthing all these years all for a woman who has been lying and manipulating them all their lives. Yes, I did it out of pettiness but if I’m being honest I don’t regret it one bit. In fact, I wish I had said it sooner.”
10. AITJ For Telling My Partner It's Hard To Be With Someone Who Breaks Things All The Time?
“I love my partner, but he is a giant kid at times, which can be charming and cute and funny, and he’s such a fun dad and uncle to all the kids in our family. But sometimes it’s like being with a teenage gorilla (we are both 33) who doesn’t comprehend consequences and it’s SO FRUSTRATING.
For example, he moved in with me and immediately broke the paper towel holder hanging under the cupboard by being too rough to replace the roll. In our newest place, he broke the hook that the oven mitts hang on on the wall by grabbing them too roughly.
We’ve been together 3 years and he’s gone through probably 5 phones, all from being dropped or other careless behavior. He bought himself fancy new wireless headphones and within a week crushed one under a board at work. He slammed the diaper genie so hard it doesn’t shut right anymore which kind of defeats its purpose.
He breaks mugs, plates, wine glasses… There are countless other examples of things that are on their own minor, but sometimes I just get tired of living with the human personification of ‘this is why we can’t have nice things’ memes.
The most recent occurrence was tonight; he was trying to be cute by jumping into our bed after me, he basically belly-slammed into it, and one of the support boards underneath cracked. It’s the second time he’s broken one and right now the bed is fine but I bought and paid for this bed with my own money and it’s stressful to think it’s on its way to the junk pile like so many other things because he’s an overgrown man child.
I should note he makes good money and can afford to replace whatever, he’s not putting me out financially with his clumsy or thoughtless ways, but having to continuously deal with the broken things or with replacing them is tiring.
I snapped at him and he was shocked I was actually upset, as per usual.
I told him ‘Sometimes it’s hard to be with someone like you who breaks things all the time’ and left the room.
Now I’m feeling guilty because I know he doesn’t MEAN to break things, and if he told me it was hard to be with someone like me I’d be so offended. I know I hurt his feelings because he was just trying to be playful. AITJ?”
9. AITJ For Not Feeding My Nephew Any Purees While I'm Babysitting Him?
“I babysit my sister’s 4-month-old baby 3 days a week while she’s at college. I have my own kids and I have worked with babies all my life. My sister is a first-time mum who didn’t have much baby experience before becoming a mum.
When my nephew was born, my sister was breastfeeding him. My parents, who she lives with, convinced her to stop as he was always hungry after feeds so she must not be making enough milk.
I told my sister that he wasn’t being fussy he was cluster feeding, a completely normal eating habit for a baby, and his good weight gain and wet nappies proved he was getting enough milk so she didn’t need to give up breastfeeding if she didn’t want to but she was then too worried she was starving him to continue breastfeeding.
He’s now 4 months old and just gone through a growth spurt so he’s upped the amount of bottles he’s having throughout the day. Of course, my parents have once again convinced my sister this means he must be starving. My sister says at the advice of our parents she will be starting him on purees at lunchtime and she’ll drop me some jars off to keep at mine.
In the UK, the NHS advises not to give babies food before 6 months unless directed to by a pediatrician for medical reasons. I relayed this to my sister and suggested she speak to her health visitor for more up-to-date advice than our parents can offer her.
The health visitor explained to my sister that previously babies were all weaned at 4 months but it has been strongly linked to digestive issues in adults such as IBS which is why 6 months is the recommended age.
Once the health visitor had gone my mum sent my sister screenshots of pediatricians in the USA saying you can use purees before 6 months to stop babies starving when formula isn’t available so therefore it must be fine for babies to have purees early.
Purees are better than a starving baby but we have tins of formula in the kitchen and loads in the supermarket as we luckily don’t have a shortage here in the UK.
However, my sister, she’s going to start weaning my nephew now to stop my parents from complaining she’s starving him.
I’ve said that she shouldn’t be listening to my parents’ out-of-date advice over her own health visitor and the NHS and that I won’t be feeding my nephew any purees while I babysit him for 3 days a week. I don’t want to be part of the reason he could get IBS as an adult.
My parents are now telling me I’m undermining my sister’s parenting by not respecting her choices as a mother and that it’s my sister’s choice how to raise her baby, not mine. I told them they can find and pay for a nursery for my nephew while my sister is at college instead if they don’t like the way I’m babysitting him.
Now my husband is saying I’m in the wrong to tell my sister what to do with her baby. Am I the jerk?
- The baby would still be getting formula alongside the puree.
- I’m not refusing to feed him behind my sister’s back, I’ve been very open with the fact I’m uncomfortable feeding a baby that young and she’ll have to find someone else to watch him 3 days a week if that’s what she wants.”
8. AITJ For Not Baking Gluten-Free Food?
“I’m the resident baker in my office. Typically I will bake something for every team member’s birthday. There are 11 of us but some birthdays are close together so I bake probably every month or two for the office between birthdays and treats that I just feel like baking.
I bake everything from scratch and I’m somewhat particular about my ingredients so as not to toot my own horn too much, but I’m a decent baker.
I usually ask people what flavors they like and just kinda run with it and bake what I feel like making.
I do this all out of my own salary, the company doesn’t pay me to do it, and I’ll be honest, I don’t make a lot of money. But I really love baking and there’s truly no greater joy for me than seeing someone bite into one of my cupcakes and tell me how good it is, lol.
My new coworker, Samantha (Sam) has a birthday coming up. Sam is gluten-free. I do not bake gluten-free for a few reasons: the main one is cost, gluten-free flours are much more expensive than all-purpose flour, putting them out of my budget.
But also, I use gluten in my kitchen so I cannot guarantee any cross-contamination. Lastly, I’m just not familiar with baking gluten-free, and I don’t have tried and true recipes that are gluten-free, the way I do for wheat flour.
Sam asked me what I was baking for her birthday and I was honest that I wasn’t planning on baking anything specific for it.
She asked me why and I told her my reasons and she threw a fit. She went off on me telling me she knew I didn’t like her, and I’m jealous of her because she’s young and cute (I’m not young anymore but I think I’m pretty cute!) I tried to explain to her that it wasn’t about her as a person, but she said I was making excuses to exclude her.
Now she’s telling everyone in the office I’m discriminating against her for her health needs, and two people have told me I’m being cruel to the new girl.
7. AITJ For Not Answering My Sister's Calls?
“My sister had a planned pregnancy that involves having the baby’s father not being around and is ‘determined’ to be an independent mom.
She gave birth. Had to give up her lease and move in with us in a different state. Not a short few times after, she managed to get her dream job.
Knowing that she still has her 6-month-old baby to take care of. This job was not a limited-time position and is always hiring in masses every few months or so.
She took the job. Had to relocate to another state and left us with her baby.
I quit my work before she came so she expected me to just take care of her baby.
She calls every day to see her baby and at first, that’s not an issue to me. At some point, it just became very depressing for me that this past few months, all I have been doing is taking care of her baby while her IG stories are just her having fun at her job and partying at clubs on her day offs.
She does come home once in a WHILE when she feels like it to see her baby.
Mind you, with her line of work she is able to fly freely to other states without any expense on her behalf.
Recently I expressed what I felt about watching her baby and she called me rude and selfish and that it was my fault for not having a job.
And in her own words ‘You’re family, you’re supposed to help me out’.
Mind you I did have some job offerings but could not take them due to the fact that the hours I have to work are the hours that I have to watch the baby. I can’t just leave the baby unattended.
She called us, her family, ‘screwed up family’ because I did not answer her calls.
6. AITJ For Being Mad At My Fiancé For Replacing My Coffee With Decaf?
“So I (31F) am currently 4 months pregnant with my fiancé (32M). We’ve been together for 7 years and are planning to get married soon – we’ve been meaning to for years, but have never seen it as urgent until we found out that I’m pregnant recently.
We’re both over the moon and really excited, however, I haven’t become overcome by mommy fever or anything.
Now, I have been lucky enough to have not experienced any morning sickness or nausea, or anything like that, or any extreme symptoms in my pregnancy.
However last week I started getting absolutely killer headaches. I would describe it as if someone had taken an ice pick to my eyeball. I’m someone who usually drinks 3 or 4 cups of coffee a day, for context. I told my husband about these headaches and started to get really worried because I thought I was going to have the flu or maybe something worse which could be bad for the baby but he didn’t say anything.
After a week or so the headaches pass but I’ve noticed I’m a lot more tired than I used to be. I tell him this as well, and he still doesn’t say anything. Well, this morning I find a pack of decaf coffee, empty in the bin and suddenly it dawns on me what has been happening.
I’m the only one of us who drinks coffee and he’s the one who did the shopping two weeks in a row now. I confront him and he admits that when he’s offered to do the weekly shop recently, he’s just been reusing my usual coffee tin and buying the decaf version of the same product because caffeine is bad for pregnancy and he knows I don’t have the will to do it on my own but look, I’ve quit now and can spend the rest of the pregnancy without it!
He said he didn’t want to make me feel bad about my vice by confronting me and that it would be easier to quit if I wasn’t doing it intentionally so he did all three of us a massive favor.
I’ve tried to quit caffeine before as a detox a few years ago and only made it two days, he points out. I lost it and said he was a horrible person.
Basically, I started packing my belongings and said that the way he acted is evidence that he actually not only completely lacks respect for me but that he caused me immense stress, knew it, and still didn’t own up until I had to confront him.
He is refusing to apologize so I’m staying at a friend’s until he does. However, he doesn’t think he did anything wrong. He and his friends think I’m being a jerk because he was just doing what’s best for his baby’s health, that I am completely overreacting, and that my reaction is just pregnancy hormones.
I’m really upset and feel like I’m making a massive mistake.
Edit: INFO: He has never confronted me about my caffeine intake or so much as brought it up. I didn’t realize he even paid attention to it and one of us has always purchased it for months until now despite me being the sole drinker of it in the household.
My doctor hasn’t expressed concern about caffeine but I would have been happy to slowly reduce my intake if he had mentioned it, which he hadn’t. I’m already avoiding fish and all processed meat, obviously all liquor, and overcook all my beef so I’m not unwilling to make lifestyle changes for my pregnancy.”
5. AITJ For Laughing In My Neighbor's Face?
“I (25m) just moved into a nice apartment which I’ve been saving for for ages. I decided to have a little get-together with some of my friends (who also live in the building) and some other neighbors. One of these neighbors is an old lady who my friends said I probably shouldn’t invite in case she disliked me but I thought I’d invite her anyway because my friends weren’t that fussed about it, it was more a recommendation and I want to befriend the people in the building.
Now, my building allows dogs or cats under the condition that they weigh under 10 kg. My dog is a fully grown one who was the runt of the litter, so she weighs 9.7 kg. Obviously, the building also disapproves of noise created by pets as well, which is fair.
However, my dog doesn’t make noise. It got to the point that I was concerned that she couldn’t bark because she’s only barked three times in her life, and all of them were before we moved in. She’s a very well-trained dog and I have adhered to every single rule the building has about pets.
The trouble begins at the get-together. Everyone is mingling and I have met most of my neighbors and everyone is having a good time when people start heading out. Eventually, the only person left is an elderly lady who, as she is walking out the door, asked if she could discuss something with me.
I said of course, and she says that she noticed I have a dog. I say yes, her name’s Daisy and she’s a spaniel blah blah blah when she interrupts me and says that she should be rehomed by the end of the week or she will report me to the building manager and have her put down.
I was obviously taken aback by this, as my dog fits all the requirements and I can’t figure out what to do, so I just start laughing in her face. She asks me what was so funny, and I told her that she could not be more wrong about this and I can see why my friends didn’t want me to invite her because she’s uptight about rules that don’t exist.
I also told her that she’s welcome to take a complaint to the manager but she should prepare to be embarrassed because nothing will happen and she’ll just seem like a petty old woman with nothing better to do than cause others misery.
AITJ for how I spoke to my neighbor?”
4. AITJ For Telling My Friend To Shut Up After She Judged Me For Having A Baby Out Of Wedlock?
“I (28F) am currently 32+3 weeks pregnant. Long story short, the baby daddy (25M) and I got a paternity test and we found out it was his before he died which was about a month after we got it done. We were never a couple, it was a one-night stand but I think we could have developed a good co-parenting relationship.
He was a good guy and he was really excited about our child.
Anyways he had no caring living relatives that he knew of since he was in the foster system from a young age and no siblings (that he knew of either).
He told me briefly that his mom died of substance overuse (which is why he was put in the system) and he cut contact with his abusive father. So I am well-off basically, my family comes from old money and my child and I will never want for anything, my parents died when I was in high school and I lived with my grandparents until they both died last year and my extended family was cut out of the will for reasons that I don’t know but my grandma told me to never give them money and so I won’t.
I’m not close to them (I barely even know their names) and only saw them a handful of times and that’s when they came asking for money from my grandparents (They are apparently related to my grandma’s side from her sister).
I was at lunch with 3 friends a few days ago from college and this was the first time we saw each other in a while (they don’t know about my money). Obviously, I turn up with a big belly and no ring and everyone wants details.
So I give them the run down about the baby daddy and ‘Diana’s’ face turns sour. She basically told me that I was not going to heaven for having a baby out of wedlock, and basically judged me for not working (In a loose way, I don’t have a job but I told them I’m not currently working) also told me that I should contact my baby daddy’s father to let him know about his grandchild because that’s his right.
I told her to shut up and that it’s none of her business what I do with my life or my child’s and that it’s not my fault she’s in massive debt with a useless degree and a lying partner who got the other girl pregnant.
Well, she then left in tears and the other girls were on my side saying that she was out of line for her comment but I didn’t have to yell at her and stoop to her level. Well, yesterday I got a text from her partner, saying I was a jerk and to not bring up old drama. Now I’m wondering if I should contact my baby daddy’s father (I don’t know if my baby daddy would have wanted that) and if I was too rude to Diana. So AITJ?”
3. AITJ For Policing The Way My Daughter Dresses?
“My (40M) wife (41F) and I have 3 kids – Lola (20F), Rodrigo (20M), and Sadhi (17F). We’ve tried to let our kids be their own person with healthy and logical limits, we both come from abusive homes so over the years we’ve just…
tried to do our best to let our kids know that the house is a safe space and they can trust in us.
The main issue is with my youngest, Sadhi. She’s currently attending high school and is deeply interested in fashion, clothes, and accessories; she refuses to buy ‘new clothes’ so a lot of the things she owns are thrifted and ‘rearranged’ by her.
Rodrigo bought her a sewing machine last Christmas and she has gone nuts with it, I’m sure that at least 60% of her closet are things she did herself and we are proud of her.
The thing is, since she’s still a minor, my wife and I laid some rules for her, no minis, nothing too revealing, nothing too tight, and nothing see-through unless it was for her arms, belly, or legs, she was allowed to use ‘offensive images’ but with moderation and she’s allowed to dress however she wants AT HOME.
All of this until she turns 18, at least.
For the most part, Sadhi followed the rules, but you know how kids are, she began to taunt her way, first a few minis that my wife allowed, then a few ripped shirts, then one of those really low jeans until we put a stop to it.
She followed the rules for a while again but recently she began to do it again and a few weeks ago I caught her trying to leave the house in a really low dress so I told her that she needed to change and that if I saw it happening again there’d be consequences.
I guess she didn’t believe me because yesterday I saw her trying to leave again with a piece that we don’t allow her to use outside, I talked to her, and she threw a tantrum so I took her sewing machine and her switch for three weeks.
She called me abusive and a jerk for trying to police the way she dresses but I honestly believe that the rules we set are okay. She can pretty much express herself and do whatever she wants at home, and while she’s not a kid, she’s still a minor and there are some things she shouldn’t be doing yet. But she’s super mad at me and I’m starting to stutter.”
2. AITJ For Not Letting My Mom Invite Her Friends To My Wedding?
“I’m currently planning a wedding with my fiancee, and it is about 80% her family and friends, and then 20% my friends. I literally have no family, so my mom isn’t going to know anyone. This wasn’t supposed to be an issue, but about 9 months ago we got into a fight with my mother’s husband and he went ballistic.
He called me a bunch of names, called my fiancee a stupid little girl, banned us from his house, and refused to continue paying for my education, though he had told me since I was a kid that I didn’t have to worry about college.
Needless to say, he isn’t invited.
My mom said that she wasn’t going to get involved in the fight, and while she believes he is in the right, she would not be cutting contact or anything. The issue is she now thinks she should get a plus one for our wedding as she won’t have anyone to talk to.
Normally we would be ok with that, but her friends are the mean girl type, and my fiancee has told me she will feel judged. My mom said her friends would never behave badly at our wedding, but even she admitted they do think they are better than everyone.
I said it was going to be left up to my fiancee, who feels she will be stressed knowing they look down on her. My mom began crying and talking about how stressed she was going to be. I know most people would just find someone to talk to, but my mom does not talk to people like that.
She just won’t. Honestly sometimes getting her to talk to me is an issue, especially without my stepdad around, as she is automatically in a bad mood without him. I said none of this is our problem, I don’t even care at this point, and she can’t bring anyone.
I feel kind of bad, because now she might not be coming, and apparently she was having bad anxiety when she got home.”
1. AITJ For Not Allowing My Kids To Visit My Ex-Husband Before His Surgery?
“My husband (34M) and I (35F) have been separated for 2 years, we have 2 kids (8F, 6M) that I have custody of due to their father’s chronic illness that’s gotten worse before the divorce. He gets visitation (sometimes he sees them when he’s at the hospital) and although we agree, his mom is always there trying to stir drama.
The day before my sister’s engagement party took place, my ex-husband called telling me he wanted me to bring the kids to spend some time before his surgery. He explained needing to see them before the surgery for support and because he misses them and might not be able to see them for weeks.
I asked what day he wanted them and he said tomorrow. I said sorry but the kids were going to attend their aunt’s engagement party which was 2 hours away from town. He said this is the only day he could see them before his surgery and kept pressing me to bring them to him cause the party wasn’t necessary, not like it was a wedding.
I said their aunt wanted them there and he argued that I should understand that he’s worried and need to see the kids to get some peace of mind. I got mad and told him off after he raised his voice at me.
I promised I’ll have the kids see him once he’s out of surgery but he hung up on me after ranting about how I don’t understand his position.
I had the kids call him and then we went to the party. After I got back, my former MIL came at me calling me unhinged and claiming I had been purposefully keeping her son from his children in his most vulnerable time.
I told her about my compromise but she responded by saying that her son got an infection and has to spend 5+ days in the ICU so she’s blaming me for him not seeing the kids for this long, even though the infection was not predicted.
She yelled I could’ve let the kids spend the day with their dad instead of taking them to the engagement party where they were ‘miserable’. She accused me of using the kids to get back at her son that’s when I cut the argument.
My sister said this woman is the one unhinged but dad said I made a mistake and should’ve let the kids stay with their dad before his surgery since medical problems occur unexpectedly and so my promise to have the kids see him right after surgery wasn’t valid but it didn’t occur to me.