People Question The Public In Their "Am I The Jerk?" Stories
37. AITJ For Not Going To My Daughter's Wedding?
“So I (49f) have 2 daughters, Tracy (23) and Caitlin (17). Caitlin and Tracy weren’t really close when they were growing up but they got on, they had the basic sisterly fights every now and then but nothing too big. Caitlin came out when she was 13 as bi but it wasn’t really a shock to a lot of people and because of that people accepted her pretty fast, but Tracy had a few things to say about it.
She was very small-minded about that kind of thing but after talking about it with her she agreed to keep her beliefs to herself. Caitlin started going out with a girl in her class (S) a couple of months after she came out.
This girl was the nicest person anyone can meet and she made my daughter happy which made me happy,
Fast forward a couple of years: Caitlin and S are still together. Tracy had started going out with a guy when she was 19 and after about 2 years together they got engaged.
Tracy always dreamed about having the perfect wedding which is in two weeks. After doing last-minute changes and just going over the plans she showed me the seating plan and I realized Caitlin was not on the chart. I asked her about it and she said she didn’t invite her because she was scared of making the family look bad in front of her fiancé’s family.
I was taken aback by this and asked her about it and this is how it went:
Me: what do you mean you don’t want the family to look bad?
T: I just don’t what them to know about her ‘lifestyle.’
Me: there is nothing wrong with her lifestyle she is who she is.
T: yeah ok whatever she isn’t invited end of story.
I had so much more to say about the matter but I just tried to keep my calm, without any hesitation I said ‘If your sister is not invited you should give my seat away to someone because I will not be coming’.
I grabbed my things and left, all I heard as I was walking out the door was my daughter crying and begging me to come to the wedding because she needed her mum there.
It’s been a few days, I have had hundreds of messages from my daughter and FSIL but I have been ignoring them. I have planned a little mini vacation away with Caitlin, I also invited S and her family.
So AITJ for saying I will not attend my eldest daughter’s wedding and instead going on a mini vacation with my youngest?”
36. AITJ For Giving Our Presents Away?
“So, it all started when my (31f) husband (47m) and I were driving to his work Christmas party. On the way there we got started talking about Christmas plans and presents when my husband turns, looks at me, and says, ‘Sorry, but you’re not going to have a very good Christmas this year.’ Mind you, my husband makes very good money.
Not only that, but a couple of days before that he told me not to buy him anything for Christmas because he was going to buy himself $2000 motorcycle wheels for Christmas. I was naturally caught off guard by his saying that since he just said he was buying himself an expensive gift, so I said, ‘Well, that kind of hurts my feelings.’
My husband then proceeds to yell and cuss at me, telling me I’m the most selfish person in the world for getting upset by what he said.
He then tells me I’m a spoiled brat because he just bought us a cabin 2 months ago (this is a rental property). I eventually have to tell him to either stop yelling at me, or I’m getting out of the car and walking.
He decided to stop yelling, and we go to the Christmas party acting ‘fake happy’ since he was the main boss of the two companies.
Fast forward a few days later and my husband and I and our two kids are headed to the cabin we just bought to spend Christmas there.
Everything is going great until Christmas Eve. We put the kids to bed, and we are about to set out all of their Christmas presents when once again my husband tells me, ‘Sorry, you won’t have a good Christmas this year.’ Ok… Now I’m annoyed… Because not only is this my husband’s new cabin too, but he also bought himself those $2000 wheels, and I decided to get him some nice Christmas presents as well because I like doing that.
So I once again said, ‘I don’t know why you just said that. It hurts my feelings when you say that.’
My husband then starts yelling and cussing so much that the kids can hear, resulting in me crying. He then looks at me and says, ‘I don’t know why you’re crying when you’re the selfish one.
I don’t want any of the presents you bought for me. I’m returning them all when we get back.’
He then leaves the room… and in a fit of bitter rage and sadness, I grabbed all the presents I bought for him and the couple he bought for me and drove downtown, and handed them all to random people on the street and wished them a Merry Christmas.
I came back and my husband asked where the presents were. I told him, ‘Since you think I’m so selfish, and you also don’t want the presents I bought you, I decided to give them away to less selfish people and people who would actually want them.’ So…
AITJ for giving away all of my and my husband’s Christmas presents to random people?”
35. AITJ For Sitting At A Two-Seat Table At The Restaurant?
“I (35F) have given up on going out with men but still enjoy date activities, so once a month I take myself out on a date. I go out to the movies, museums, and even mini golf by myself. And I always treat myself to a nice lunch/dinner around 3-4 pm, after the lunch rush but before the dinner rush so I have plenty of time to enjoy my food.
For my ‘self-dates,’ I always look for a new restaurant to try. Saturday I found this great little Mediterranean place. It’s a real gem, hidden away at the end of a strip mall, with murals on the walls, lovely guitar music, and only about seven tables total.
When I got there only one other table was occupied and I sat in the only two-seater table. The waiter got me my drink and I had just put in my order when a couple walked in. They looked around the small restaurant, saw me at the only two-seat table, and approached the waiter.
I was on my Kindle and not paying attention until I heard the waiter say ‘There are plenty of other tables’. They whisper argued for another minute before I heard the man say ‘She won’t take that long to eat. She’s all alone’.
The woman huffed and they sat at the four-seat table right next to me. They ordered water and loudly said they were still deciding what they wanted but were clearly stalling because she looked right at me as she said it.
I chose to ignore it.
When I treat myself to self-dates I go all out and order an appetizer, soup/salad, and entrée. My appetizer came out and I clearly heard the man say ‘See it’s just a small meal, she’ll be gone soon.’ I didn’t say anything and just enjoyed my food.
When I finished the woman grabbed her purse like she was going to dash to my table before someone else came in, only for the waiter to bring out my soup. I took my time eating the soup as the waiter again asked the couple if they were ready to order.
The woman said they were still deciding and needed water refills. Then my entrée came out. As soon as they saw it the woman said, ‘Are you kidding me!’ The food was amazing and even though I knew they were waiting for my table I took my time appreciating my meal.
Halfway through, the waiter again asked them if they were ready. The man said he was starving and ordered. The woman was clearly not happy but also ordered. I was tempted to order dessert too but I was stuffed. I paid my check and as I was leaving I saw the couple moving their plates over to my table, which hadn’t even been cleared off yet.
At the time I thought it was hilarious but, when I told my friends about it, they said I had been a jerk. They said restaurants like that were for couples on dates, not single people, and that it wouldn’t have been a big deal for me to move or get takeaway and eat at home.
I said it was 4 pm not prime date time and that there were five other tables to pick from, but they said I’d taken the most romantic table and ruined their date for my own enjoyment. Now I’m not sure and I’m asking the internet for an impartial judgment.”
34. AITJ For Calling Out The Lab Manager For How He Treated A Student?
“I (26M) am a Ph.D. student who researches in an academic laboratory setting. I have several years of experience in a laboratory so I understand the ins and outs of lab safety.
However, to get access to certain equipment, you must go through training that is given by the lab manager (47M), who is a very controlling person.
From the way he acts and the decorations in his office, I have a feeling he was part of the military. I don’t think I have ever seen him smile or be light-hearted in the four years I have worked here.
Every time I need his help, he always mopes around and is angry with me. I have tough skin and I couldn’t care less if he hates me; I don’t like him because it takes him FOREVER to get to things even if they take a matter of minutes to accomplish.
Every two years, we do a refresher on lab safety; most of the people (about 15 in total) in the training are undergraduate students. He asks everyone to line up in the anteroom and begins to yell out of nowhere, saying ‘This is MY lab, which means you’re going to follow MY rules and if you don’t like it, get out of here.’ He then goes down the line of people asking why they want access to his lab.
This exchange student from Japan (20F) is next in line and she is TERRIFIED. He asks her and she says in very broken English she’s an MS student working on research with someone; he doesn’t understand her and speaks louder to her to repeat herself and she is literally on the verge of tears.
She repeats it again but sounds very pressured and he exclaims that she wants access to his lab and she doesn’t even know why.
I tried to control myself, but I couldn’t, so I finally spoke up and said ‘Are you going to start this training or are you just going to bully this exchange student?’ He quickly walked over, got into my face, and yelled ‘Did you say something?’ to which I said, ‘Oh maybe I didn’t make myself clear enough.
I said, WHY are you berating that exchange student? She is clearly flustered over you yelling at her and you’re being very unprofessional. We came here for the training, so start the training already.’
His face turned red and he calmly said, ‘Get out of my lab’ and that I’d be ‘written up’.
I then said thank you and good luck with that, and walked out of the anteroom straight to an office of a member of my dissertation committee. I told him what happened and he said there was no reason to be rude to him.
Other committee members are split, saying that I was in my right and others saying that what I did was grounds for being written up after being rude to him.
I know it’s his lab and I know it’s his rules, but I feel there’s that benchmark level of respect you show colleagues. You don’t have to befriend them but you should at least treat everyone with dignity. So… AITJ for telling him off despite it being his rules and his lab?”
33. AITJ For How I Asked My Husband's Mom To Hand Over My Baby?
“I’m a new mom, had my son 5 weeks ago. My husband’s parents have been staying with us and things have been super overwhelming.
MIL has a habit of taking the baby and refusing to give him back to me. She’d say I’m deliberately ruining her time with him.
My son needs feeding every 2 hours and she basically makes me beg her to hand him over to me so I could feed him.
Last night at 10 PM. MIL had my son in her arms while sitting on the couch with my husband and his dad.
I was exhausted, and the baby started crying. I told my MIL to hand him over to me so I could feed him. She refused and I kept asking. My husband starts talking about what a whiny little girl I was to complain that our son is receiving love and cuddles and how I’m using feeding as an excuse to keep the baby away from his mom.
I ignored him and told his mom to hand over the baby. She refused and said I needed to wait a little longer.
I got angry at this point, my husband said I could take the baby after I ask his mom nicely.
This had me seething I meanly told his mom to stop being annoying and overbearing and hand him over to me. She looked at me shocked and hurt. She handed the baby over and ran into the guest room and my husband gave me a look then followed her and stayed inside to comfort her.
He came into the room while I was feeding my son and started yelling about how disrespectful I was to speak to his mom this way and treat her poorly when all she was doing is showing our son more love than I do.
I told him about how she’s been taking the baby for hours and preventing me from feeding him properly. He said that 1, our son isn’t an object for me to act like I own him and 2, his mom was doing nothing wrong, and 3, I should’ve asked nicely instead of being a jerk to his mom and making her cry.
I started crying and yelled that I’d go to my mom’s place if his parents stay any longer and he yelled back saying ‘Shut up, you’re only acting up cause you don’t want my parents around! What’s wrong with you?’ then walked out. I felt terrible thinking maybe I was rude to his mom but I also think that I’d hit my limits here.
AITJ for not asking her nicely like my husband wanted?”
32. AITJ For Going To My Spouse's Cousin's Place To Check If There's Really A Bad Smell?
“A few weekends ago, my spouse’s cousin (30s, M) contacted my spouse and me stating he hasn’t been able to sleep in his apartment the past couple of weeks because toxic fumes from the neighboring area have been seeping into his apartment which is making him sick and forcing him to sleep in his car.
Feeling sorry for him, we allowed him to stay at our home for 3 nights that weekend; but stressed this would be temporary, as he would need to sort things out/find a new place.
Over the next few days, he informed us about his investigations into the smell.
First, it was a local body shop illegally selling gasoline (the workers told him) and county inspectors would be coming by to investigate. He told us it was a propane leak from a nearby station, everyone in the complex was struggling the breathe, and the county didn’t care about them.
We contacted someone who lived in the complex and they said there was one afternoon with a bad smell, but it was short-term and hadn’t been a lingering problem.
The next day, he says it’s toxic railroad ties and he is the only one who can smell it because he must be allergic.
He then asked to move in with us while he looks for a new apartment, but waitlists were about 5 months. In the meantime, he would pay us the same rent until he moved.
We straight up told him he could not move in with us.
Without going into the angry shouting match, he eventually said he understood. The next day, he said he was now forced to shower at the gym and begged us to let him come stay a few more nights at our place.
This situation was so stressful for my spouse, she became sick. To help put her mind at ease, I drove to his apartment to check things out. There was no bad smell… but the cousin found out and to say he is livid is an understatement.
31. AITJ For Giving My Sister A Funny Onesie At Her Baby Shower?
“My BIL (32M) is in a research field. He is extremely successful and earns a lot. He and my sister (29F) both built amazing careers before starting a family.
I (23F) have admired them for years and even went on to study in the same field and he has been a great help.
I am very close with both, and I set up my sister’s baby shower as I am excited to have a nephew soon. I knew my BIL’s family was flying in (from another country) and I knew they were pretty conservative, so I kept it simple.
The only thing that could be considered silly/inappropriate was a baby onesie I had stamped with ‘my dad’s a billionaire, in Shiba’ with a caricature dog laughing, referring to my BIL’s hobby of investing in questionable cryptocurrencies. (Unsure if I need to explain the joke: 1 billion Shiba is about 210$)
Everything was going great until my sister sat down to open gifts and landed on the onesie in question.
She showed it to my BIL and I got from him a genuine laugh, a hug and a thank you. Even if they never ended up using it, I really did think it was funny. My BIL’s family, however, started murmuring in another language, and his sister, J, pointed out that it was quite disrespectful as my BIL was earning a lot and is able to support his family.
I tried to explain this was not a dig at his career or anything, just a silly joke. My BIL also joined, saying he thought it was funny and no harm done. His sister, however, blew up, how my sister and I came from old money and it was easy to joke about financial hardships and she thought I was a spoiled brat.
I told her to mind her business and if anyone should be offended, it should be the expecting parents. She called me a jerk and stormed out.
No one had fun after that and I feel guilty. My sister and my BIL let me know they don’t think I did anything wrong but I feel like I ruined the baby shower for everyone. AITJ for gifting the onesie?”
30. AITJ For Threatening To Report My Parents To The Cops If They Don't Return My Medication?
“I (21m) had a surgical removal of a cyst this afternoon. Mine had a pretty nasty infection, so it had to be removed as soon as possible. I went to the hospital with my fiancé (19m), and my parents (62M) (57F).
Everything went very smoothly thankfully, but as my parents were driving me and my fiancé back to our apartment, we got into a discussion about the medication I was prescribed.
Now, my parents are paranoid when it comes to anything addictive. I don’t blame them, I’m aware that hydrocodone is incredibly addictive, and am wary of it myself.
They straight up told me that I shouldn’t take it at all, and just take Tylenol and Ibuprofen. I told them I’d rather have the medication I was prescribed just in case my pain got bad once the hospital meds wore off.
I wasn’t allowed to drive after my surgery, so they were supposed to pick up my medication for me. Well, they did. but with two of my hydrocodone pills missing.
Well. That’s fishy and annoying. I texted my mom basically asking where the pills went.
She didn’t respond so I kinda forced it by telling her I’d have to report the pharmacist if it wasn’t her.
She said, ‘I took the other 2’ and, ‘I took them because that’s all you can legally have and drive (fiancé) to work tomorrow’ and then ‘Ok?’ wow.
I had set funds aside for him to be able to get an Uber tomorrow if he needed to anyways. Which she would’ve known, had she talked to me about it or even brought up these concerns at all.
I was mad.
I texted this huge paragraph that was basically saying either give them back or I’m filing a police report, that stealing hydrocodone was a felony, that I understand her fear but this was absolutely NOT the way to go about it.
Forty minutes later I get a ‘we’re here’ text and a pounding on my door. I waddle over and open, and my parents are standing in the doorway super mad. My dad starts by talking about how it was absolutely NOT okay to threaten legal action, and that I needed to apologize.
He said it was his fault that no one talked to me about it and that he’s sorry, but then goes on about a 5-minute rant about how I have an addictive personality (I was a smoker when I was 18), how he’s concerned for me, how he would NEVER use the law against me, that the surgeon is giving them out like candy, and that he’s heard a lot of cases of people getting addicted to these and didn’t want to risk it.
I said that being concerned wasn’t the issue. He couldn’t take away my say in the situation. He couldn’t just steal pills from me just because he was scared. At the very least he should discuss his concerns with me like an adult.
He did not like that. He played this game of keeping away from the bottle, holding it out to me, and then yanking it away to say more to me. Just kept arguing. I got them back after a lot of fighting.
Am I wrong here? I need to know I didn’t overreact. AITJ?”
29. AITJ For Getting A Gym Staff Fired?
“I (28F) go to a gym kinda close to my house, my (30M) husband doesn’t go with me since I go way too early for him and there is one where he works so he goes there. I usually wake up at 6 am and get there 6:45 am – 7 am.
I do not talk to anyone there unless I have to, reception, maybe ask an employee for help, if I see anyone I know which has only happened like twice in the year that I’ve been going there, this is only for context that I am not flirting or anything with anyone there, I am happily married and I go there to workout and leave.
About a month ago, maybe a bit more, I don’t know. There was a new employee who would always say good morning to me, even if he wasn’t in the reception when I got there he would walk next to wherever I was working and say good morning.
I would say it back because well it’s called being polite. I never engaged in a conversation with him and I also use my wedding ring every day.
Well, now the issue. To access the gym you need to put your finger so it can scan your fingerprint and then your picture and info show on the screen of the reception.
Last week I got a message from an unknown number asking how I was, etc. When I asked who it was it said it was this guy and that he hoped I wouldn’t get upset he took my number from the info.
I said I was upset and that I am married. He said he saw the ring but wasn’t sure so wanted to ask. Hmm ok? I said that I am in fact married and that is why I use a wedding ring and he said ok and stopped texting.
Since I didn’t want to walk straight to the manager because he would know it was me and what I was doing I decided to send an email to the gym explaining everything and how I felt my privacy was violated.
My husband agreed completely. They sent an email back apologizing and saying they would handle it. The next day I walked to the gym and he wasn’t there. I assumed he was fired since the next day he wasn’t there either.
We had my BIL and wife and other family members around and we were talking about it and BIL said how trashy that was and I couldn’t mess with someone’s job like that. The guy apologized and stopped so why did I keep going? Some of them agreed with him and others said he was the one messing with his job, not me but now I feel kinda bad I mean he did stop when I said I was married. AITJ?”
28. AITJ For Not Punishing My Son?
“My husband and I have 2 kids, Ryder (21M) and Juliette (16F), both of them are close to both sets of grandparents and visit them regularly. Juliette is discovering her style and she’s experimenting with clothes, hairstyles, and makeup. Ryan gave her a sewing machine last month and she kinda went nuts with this, doing a lot of pieces for fun.
Since Juli is still a minor, we set a few rules because we believe that, even when she’s expressing herself, there are still things she shouldn’t wear; like no see-through things, no large cleavage, and no minis.
She’s always mixing patterns, colors, prints, and textures, pants under skirts, dresses as cardigans, big earrings, necklaces, etc.
Sometimes it does feel too much, but that’s just fashion, isn’t it? She seems happy and we don’t think it’s fair to call her outfits ugly when she’s just having fun and experimenting. She still tones it down when it comes to family gatherings because she’s afraid people will say something.
It’s important to add that Ryder 100% supports and encourages his sister, most of the funny jewelry that Juli owns are things Ryder bought for her, and as I said, he gave her a sewing machine recently. She also makes his shirts and is trying to make him a jacket.
Yesterday was Ryder’s 21st bday and we decided to have a small party just with family, Juli asked Ryder what his ‘theme’ was so she could dress accordingly, but he said she could dress however she wanted and I swear you could see Juli’s eye sparkling, she ended up wearing a weird combination, but looked happy and Ryder said she looked pretty.
As soon as everyone starts to come, they eye Juli but nobody says anything, I noticed my FIL making a face and when he wants to give Ryder a few words he says ‘It is time to address the elephant in the room.
Juliette looks awful, go change to normal clothes little girl’. Ryder just rolls his eyes and says that a 70-year-old man bullying a 16-year-old is pathetic. They start to fight and my FIL demands I punish my son but my husband and I refuse. He made Juli cry.”
27. AITJ For Moving In With A Friend For The Summer?
“Earlier this year, my (19m) cousin (24f) lost custody of her children (5m, 4m, 2f & 1m). My mother wanted to ensure that they were in a safe home and offered to be their guardian. She and my stepfather spoke to me about it in February and I agreed to them moving in, since I’d be away at university for most of the time.
I came home to visit around Easter and, in my opinion, it was a nightmare. I understand why, but these children were very unpleasant to be around and everything had to revolve around them and their wants/needs. My stepfather seemed to be losing his sanity and it just didn’t feel like my home anymore.
My mother had promised to leave my room alone but ended up giving it to one of my cousin’s kids and most of my stuff was ‘temporarily’ moved to the attic.
I’ve finished university for the year, so my mother and stepfather assumed I would be coming home soon.
I told them that, after the awful experience I had at Easter, instead I was moving in with a friend and his sister for the summer. My mother was upset by this because it means I will remain the same distance away from home as I do when I’m at university.
I tried to suggest meeting up for lunch every now and then, even once a week, but she said, because of the kids, her time isn’t that flexible, and she had been missing me and looking forward to my return. I do appreciate that, but I don’t think I’d last more than a week in that house without going insane.
My stepfather has called me a jerk and says that I’m trying to manipulate my mother into giving up on the kids, but I’m not, I just don’t want to have to be around them. My mother is refusing to set up a date for me to come and collect some of my things and insists I at least try coming home, but I’ve already agreed to the rent at my friend’s sister’s flat.
AITJ here? Should I have gone back for the summer to please my already burnt-out mother?”
26. AITJ For Not Wanting My Newborn Son To Be Posted On Social Media?
“My wife Clara (30F) and I (33M) are what they call ‘low profile’ when it comes to social media. We both have accounts on most of the most famous platforms, but we post very little. I personally always had a stupid prejudice about people who record every step of their life, but I respect it.
I don’t spew hate on anyone for that reason (or any other).
Recently my wife and I had a baby. During pregnancy, we agreed that it is ridiculous to post several photos a day of the child or to create exclusive social networks for this.
Until our child was born, we had very similar values about children’s exposure on the internet. To exemplify, when she was pregnant, Clara only posted two pictures of her dilated belly.
When Daniel was born, Clara posted several pictures of him, which annoyed me, but I didn’t say anything.
It was a mother who had just given birth, so I considered it normal behavior. But that didn’t stop as the weeks passed, and I had to complain. Clara was very upset, said that she loved him very much and that he was the most beautiful child she had ever seen.
I just rolled my eyes.
When our baby was one month old, Clara announced that Daniel had a social media profile. I exploded and said I didn’t agree with any of this and asked her to delete it. She said I was being totally unreasonable and the child was hers so she would do what she wanted.
I said that the child is also mine, and I didn’t want so much exposure. We fought and she went to her mother’s house. I also went to my MIL’s house and slept in the living room, I wasn’t going to miss my son’s moments because of a stupid fight.
She got even more annoyed and we went back to our house, but she refused to talk beyond the essentials to me.
A month passed and Clara assured me that she deleted the account, but that she would continue to post at a lower frequency on her own profile.
I agreed to this because it was the best middle ground possible. I came across my wife with 20k followers, and before I had only 1k. I thought this was bizarre. I saw her transforming too, it wasn’t just pictures and videos of Daniel.
She was documenting her routine. I’m not a controlling person and I’m not going to say what my wife can and can’t do with her own image.
The big problem is that I found out she lied to me. I was blocked from my son’s page to think it was deleted.
When I found out, I took the cell phone from my wife’s hand and locked myself in my bathroom. I deleted the profile of almost 30k of Daniel’s followers while listening to Clara screaming outside.
Nothing happened but silence. She won’t talk to me, her mother claims that Clara will develop post-natal depression after all this stress.
I think this is all terribly futile and I start to think I’m a bit of a jerk for caring so much about it, but at the same time, I don’t want that kind of life for my son. I don’t want Daniel’s life living for the sake of being well on camera. I just want him to have a normal childhood.
25. AITJ For Kicking My Husband's Friend Out Of Our Child-Free Wedding?
“My husband (30) and I (30) got married 2 weeks ago, we decided on a child-free wedding due to venue choice, food choice, drinks, location, etc…
We included this rule in every invitation, including one of my husband’s ‘besties’ Leo (35) who is a widower with 4 kids.
Leo complained to my husband about the rule but that is that.
At the wedding, my husband said he was worried his friend Leo might not come since ‘I’ refused to let him bring his kids, but about almost an hour into the wedding, we start hearing noise from a distance.
We look closely and see Leo standing there with his 4 kids dressed nicely. He was arguing with the staff about the kids not being allowed. I felt horrible because the staff was drilling that this was an adult-only wedding and the kids needed to leave but Leo kept arguing and went as far as yelling out my husband’s name telling him to come tell the staff off since it’s ‘his’ wedding.
I was so upset and embarrassed but I kept my composure and went over to talk to Leo.
I told him to either get the kids somewhere else and come back or just leave. He acted offended saying this is his best friend’s wedding and he was invited to it.
I said I was sorry but the rule is followed by everybody, and everybody should respect that. He argued about how he wasn’t just a random guest but was family but I said it still applies. I insisted he make his choice but he doubled down talking about how he couldn’t find a babysitter and how he shouldn’t have to miss his best friend’s wedding.
I had the staff escort him and his kids out after he kept pushing which led to some of my husband’s friends complaining saying Leo has special circumstances because he’s a widower and it’s essentially my fault for not providing babysitting options for guests.
The wedding went on after that, but my husband was angry. He said this is his best friend that I just caused to miss his wedding. He said Leo stopped answering his calls (til today) and responding to his messages because of what I did.
Now my husband believes that I have just ruined his relationship with his friend when I could’ve just made an exception for him and the kids since they were there already.
EDIT: My husband was on board with this rule. But wanted me to make an exception for his friend and his friend only. My family and friends would’ve felt deeply hurt if I said yes.”
24. AITJ For Answering My Ex's New Partner's Questions?
“I (21NB) used to go out with this guy Luke (24M). When we were together I identified as female.
We broke up, he broke up with me, and I’ve since moved on and come out to almost everyone in my life as NB and pansexual.
We all share a mutual friend group and often spend a lot of time together. It’s been discussed before why Luke doesn’t use my preferred pronouns (they/them) and the excuse was that it’s absolutely not possible to not see me as a woman after being intimate with me.
I decided then and there that I no longer respected him or his opinions. Since then he’s done everything possible to pick fights with me or be a jerk. I don’t really pay him much attention though. Our friends have decided to stay out of it, which I’ve been super grateful for.
He recently started seeing someone, Kim. She seems super sweet and when I was introduced to her, Luke had already told her we used to go out. She seemed wary of me but I tried my best to respect her boundaries, and I appreciated the opportunity to distance myself further from Luke.
Recently we were all out together and everyone was grabbing their movie tickets, she and I had purchased ours ahead of time, so we were just chatting. She asked me if I’m still interested in Luke and I said no, but she kept pushing saying that ‘Luke really is just your type of guy though…
are you sure… he’s so sweet and handsome… I won’t be mad… well what makes him so unattractive to you?’ After repeating myself over and over I told her that Luke is a bit too misogynistic for me and that any guy who can’t respect my pronouns isn’t really worth my time.
She got quiet and said she understood.
After the movie, we all went our separate ways and apparently Luke and Kim did too. She said she had no room in her life for a hateful bigot and that he wasn’t the guy she thought he was.
He’s taken to blaming me for this even though it’s both of their fault. His, for being how he is, and her, for pushing for answers she very clearly didn’t want. Our friends are saying that she shouldn’t have gone digging for answers but that I maybe should’ve lied since he is still our friend and we want him to be happy.”
23. AITJ For Not Donating To A Coworker's Religious Fundraiser?
“I (37m) was approached recently by my coworker (late 20s M) to see if I was interested in buying some scented candles and soaps he was selling. Some of my other coworkers were already checking out some of his wares, and I smelled a few, which were nice.
He mentioned he was selling these as part of a fundraiser, so I asked what the fundraiser was for. He said it was so he and his church could travel on a mission trip, going to witness his faith to others in the world.
At this point, I said I wasn’t interested in buying because I’m not Christian. As soon as I said this, all of my coworkers started acting like I was in the wrong here, and that this shouldn’t stop me from buying candles or soaps if I wanted to.
My reasoning is this: I’m an Atheist, but not an anti-theist. While I myself don’t believe in anything divine, supernatural, or metaphysical, I don’t actively disparage those who do. I believe everyone on this planet should have a right to peaceably practice whatever they believe in without fear of persecution.
However, at the same time, I can’t in good conscience donate to a cause whose objective is to promote religious beliefs I myself do not share. It would feel about the same to me as donating to a political movement I disagree with (such as movements to ban gay marriage).
While I know that religious witnessing isn’t necessarily the same as political movements that seek to harm or restrict others, it still is an activity that never sat right with me, even when I was a practicing Christian myself.
So am I the jerk here? Are my coworkers right in saying that it’s wrong for me to allow my difference of religious opinion to stop me from buying products from this fundraiser, knowing how the funds will be used? Or is my position justifiable?”
22. AITJ For Firing My Wife's Friend For Stealing Food?
“I own a restaurant that specializes in pizza. There are a few other things on the menu, like sandwiches, pasta, and salads, but the bulk of what I do is pizza and sides. We use higher quality ingredients so we are priced a little higher than the average pizza place in our area ($4/slice, $20/specialty pizza, etc.)
We are right down the street from a college, so most of my employees are college students.
My wife is a doctor and volunteers at a free clinic often, which is where she met Linda. Linda is a single mom with four kids all under the age of 10 and has fallen on hard times recently. My wife asked her if I could give her a job and of course, I said yes, I was happy to help.
So Linda came to work nights at the restaurant.
I have always let my employees take home whatever food is left at the end of the night. Usually by closing there are a few slices and some breadsticks left over, and often the employees will sit together and share everything before heading out for the night, or take a slice to go on their way out.
They are usually all broke college kids and I would be throwing the food out anyway.
Shortly after Linda started, however, I noticed that there was more and more food left over at the end of the night, and it would be items that we don’t usually have left over at all, like pasta or entire pizzas.
I mentioned to the team that it seemed like there was a lot more food waste and asked them to be mindful of what we’re making so late at night, but it continued anyway. I found out that Linda was making extra so she could take the food home to her kids – which I wish I could afford to help her out in this way, but our ingredients are all sourced organic and it was adding up very quickly.
I brought it up to her specifically and told her I don’t mind if she takes home an extra slice or two when they’re available, but we can’t afford to be spending all this extra money on food that wasn’t being sold.
She apologized and seemed to understand, but she didn’t stop. I had one last team talk, trying not to single her out again, and it still continued.
I told my wife I was going to fire Linda because she wouldn’t stop and she begged me not to.
Instead, I told all my employees that the leftover policy was changing and that I would be discarding all the extra food at the end of the night because I wasn’t sure what else to do in the situation. However, a few days later I realized there was still something off and an employee told me that Linda was putting food in her bag toward the end of her shift.
I asked Linda if it was true on her way out that night and she denied it, but when I asked her to show me her purse she broke down crying and apologizing. I told her I was sorry but that I was going to have to let her go because of the consistent problem this had been. She was very upset when she left, as was my wife when I told her. AITJ?”
21. AITJ For Telling HR About My Boss And Other Workmates' Comments?
“I have been working in a job for about a year now and am planning on moving across the country due to reasons external to my job. However, remote work with that company would not be possible, so I sat down with my boss (let’s call him John) and let him know I would be putting in my three weeks’ notice.
He agreed and I was under the impression that I would continue to work as normal for the next three weeks and help ensure that all of my projects were passed off smoothly.
The Tuesday after I put in my notice (the day after) John comes over to my desk and says ‘So you’re not going to talk to me anymore?’ I was so confused and asked him what I did and that I didn’t understand.
Prior to my notice, he had never made any comments like this to me. From my perspective, I hadn’t changed my behavior at all and I had not spoken to him any less than normal. After a few moments, he just replies with ‘okay’ and leaves.
Cut to Thursday, the same week. I pull another person in my group aside, let’s call him Jason, and I basically let him know I’m going to be leaving and that I really enjoyed working with him. In the middle of us having that conversation another person at the company walks passed me and yells ‘Quitter’.
I have not said more than hello to this person in months and we are not friends. Jason comments that isn’t very professional and I am upset by the comment. I try to brush it off and go home and try not to think about it.
The next morning I woke up and have a message from John on my phone: ‘Are you going to work on this project before you go? Also by the way… Good morning sunshine since you aren’t speaking to me anymore.’
For further context, I had messaged John the previous day with meeting notes as I usually did and again didn’t think I had been ignoring him at all.
So I ended up going to HR and talking to them about the situation. The person I spoke to called John and he apparently explained to them how hurt he was that I was upset and that it is all a big misunderstanding. AITJ for going to HR about what was happening?”
20. AITJ For Not Apologizing To A Woman For Giving Her A Safety Tip About Skiing?
“I am a woman with quite a high-pitched voice. When I yell it usually doesn’t sound super angry and I’m not very tall.
I watched a woman ski down our main run while out of control in a straight line. She was going really quickly so I called out slow down as she went past me.
While in the queue for the lift back to the top, I saw her again. So I told her ‘If you are going to ski from the steeper section you have to turn to control your speed or you are going to hurt yourself or someone else’.
She asked if I was talking to her, so I repeated what I said louder as we were standing next to a lift and it can get loud. She replied (pretty smugly I thought at the time) that she doesn’t know how to turn so it’s not her fault.
I said to her that she shouldn’t ride that lift and should go back to the beginner area.
She then started screaming that I’m making her sound like an idiot and that I should treat her kinder. (This is where I might be a jerk) I replied ‘It’s not my job to be nice to you, it’s my job to keep my students and myself safe’ and then I skied away.
A few moments later my manager came out and said she was crying at them and also screaming. I explained my side and continued doing my job. My lesson finished and I took my kids back to their mum. On my way, I walked past the woman and she reached out to me while saying something.
I blocked the kid’s view of her and continued on talking to the mum and all is well…
My manager then found me and said the woman refused to leave until I apologized. So I walked the long way around to the break room.
About 29 minutes later my manager comes back and says she still won’t leave until I apologize and is still screaming and crying. I said man, that sucks… But I’m not apologizing. After 45 minutes she left without an apology.
Should I have just apologized? I feel bad for my manager as I could have got her to leave really quickly. But I also don’t feel in the wrong because if she had hit someone while out of control she could have really hurt someone. AITJ?”
19. AITJ For Moving Out All Of A Sudden?
“I’ve (27F) been close friends with Tara (26F) for about 8 years now.
Early on we made plans to move in together. She shared a two-bedroom with her partner at the time. They had broken up and the plan was for him to move out, and I’d move into her second bedroom.
Three weeks before moving in, she texted me that they had worked things out and no longer wanted me to move in with her. I was mad because I had already given notice of my apartment and had to move in with my parents.
She apologized profusely and had always been a good friend otherwise so I forgave her.
Three months later they broke up for good and he moved out, leaving her struggling to pay bills for the nine months left of the lease. She moved back in with her parents after that in ‘financial ruin’ as she put it.
Years later, this past summer, we moved in together. I was hesitant initially but she did all the work finding a place and paying deposits. It was awesome living with my best friend and we had a great time, until last month.
She had a ‘friends with benefits’ situation with a guy at her work for almost a year. She sat me down and told me that they were making things official and wanted to move in together, so she wanted me to move out when his lease was up in five months so he could move in with her.
I was LIVID. I totally blew up at her. I called her a trashy and selfish friend and told her I would never forgive her for jerking me around like this again. The argument ended with both of us in tears.
That weekend, while she was staying at her partner’s, I packed all my stuff and moved out. I happened to know someone with a nice three-bedroom house for rent. It was actually a really good deal that I had only passed up because I’d moved in with her, and I lucked out that it was still available.
She’s been texting me ever since about how I’m screwing her over just like her ex did, that I overreacted, and that she can’t afford the place by herself. Honestly, I consider our friendship over at this point, but now that I’ve calmed down I’m wondering if I may be the jerk.
For clarification: My name wasn’t on the lease. She handled the paperwork. I didn’t want to throw speculation into my story but I 100% believe she did that on purpose.”
18. AITJ For Not Wanting To See My Parents?
“I have absolutely no contact with my parents. I don’t talk to them, I don’t visit them, to be honest, I rather never see them again in my life. This might sound bad, but I do have my reasons.
I was kicked out of my parent’s house the day after my 18th birthday.
My father claimed that an 18-year-old is already an adult, and they should be able to live by themselves. Just a heads-up, I was still in high school when that took place.
I worked part-time, but I couldn’t afford housing. I slept on the streets for about a few weeks until I found shelter.
Not only that, but I had too many rough days after that. The streets are no place for anyone, especially someone that young.
Through the help of some NGOs, I managed to finish school. Get into a technical course for programming, and get a decent job.
Now, ten years after that, I just graduated college (I saved up to actually do that). However, I can’t forgive my parents. I never contacted them, and they didn’t contact me.
That was until yesterday. Somehow my family (uncle) got my phone contact and sent me a message.
My father is extremely sick, and it is likely that he might pass away in the next few days. My uncle told me that my father wanted to see me for the last time and asked if I could go there.
I said I would not go. I absolutely resent and bear a grudge against my father and my mother. He kicked me out, and she did absolutely nothing to stop it. As you might assume, my uncle started to get heated and called me heartless, ungrateful, and a jerk among other things.
I’m pretty sure most of my family feels the same way about me.
Honestly, I’m only asking here for my sanity’s sake. I will not be meeting them, but I understand that the man is dying, and by not going I’m denying something to a dying man, which might make me a jerk. However, even if it does, I do not care. I’d rather be a jerk than see those two ever again.”
17. AITJ For Getting Out Of The House After What My Stepmom Planned To Do With My Dog?
“My (17f) parents divorced when I was 10 and my dad was having affairs with multiple women but he got custody (my mom has visitation) and moved us to be with his now wife. Last month I got a dog (Lemon, 1-year-old, I pay for all her things).
She’s a Rottweiler. She’s trained, well-behaved, and just the best. She isn’t spayed because she was owned by a friend of a friend who couldn’t care for her anymore. As soon as I got her I booked an appointment but it wasn’t until this week they could get her in.
My mom went into the hospital this week for a really bad car accident and I begged my dad to let me go be with her. He finally let me go so I asked him if he would watch Lemon and take her to the vet since I would be gone.
He said yes. I gave him clear instructions and I was off.
Now my stepmom has a dog. He’s a husky, not neutered, and honestly a menace… he doesn’t get enough stimulation. My stepmom thinks the backyard is enough and while I’ve tried taking him on walks he once knocked me over trying to get at another dog.
I’m too scared to. He’s gotten in fights at the dog park and my stepmom has bred him a couple of times (other Huskies or just any friend who said they’d love a puppy from him). Even though Lemon hadn’t had her first cycle they had little to no contact, she’d be in my room, yard, out with me, or at my significant other’s.
While I was gone Lemon had her first heat without me knowing. I reminded my dad to take her to the vet. He acknowledged me but later that day he said they were overbooked and couldn’t take her. I said fine just keep her in my room.
He again acknowledged me. After that, I didn’t hear much. My SO ended up going over to my house to borrow some stuff and noticed my stepmom being REALLY loving to Lemon (until now she hated her). My SO knew something was up so he told my stepmom he was taking her and started grabbing her stuff.
My stepmom started yelling at him and in her rage she said she just thought the puppies would look cute. My SO grabbed my dog and called me on his way home. I admit I was really angry when I got home.
I demanded they explain. My stepmom again said they would have beautiful puppies. I was furious. I called her irresponsible, unbearable, and unbelievable. My dad was defending her so I packed my things to go to my SO’s where I am now.
I’ve been getting texts from both of them calling me names and my dad said he was gonna make my life miserable once I come back home. I know I lost my temper and treated them incorrectly but I don’t know what to think. AITJ?”
16. AITJ For Wanting My Wife To Give Me Emotional Support?
“My wife’s mother passed away just over a year ago after a prolonged illness. She was at our house for about 18 months and I took her to every doctor’s appointment and helped her with day-to-day stuff as the global crisis had me unemployed, so I definitely had some skin in the game with her mom, we were pretty close.
A year-ish ago she passes away at my sister-in-law’s house. My wife had a tough time and I supported her, dealt with the house and kids, and let her do anything she wanted to try to heal. It has been a long year.
About 10 days ago my mother goes to the hospital. She has been on a ventilator and not showing signs of breathing on her own. Yesterday we are visiting and the doctor is telling me that it may be time to make a decision in the not-too-distant future as to how we proceed if she doesn’t show improvement.
I am understandably distraught by this news and the whole hospitalization in general.
We leave and the wife tells me I’m here for you, let me know if you want to talk, I want to support you. This has always been a tough subject as she usually only listens for a moment and then starts trying to shift attention to herself.
Also, a long history of drinking problems which matters in a minute.
We get home and she gets mail from the tax man. She’s complaining and asking why she owes. I advise her that I have no idea but I think you should call your tax lady who is her friend of 20 years.
She stomps out of the house, doesn’t say anything, and disappears for 5 hours. Drives home hammered from the bar.
This morning I tell her that I’m disappointed that supporting me means walking out on me and the kids to go get wasted.
She then informs me that she felt like that was what was best for the family and I am not thinking about her feelings and it was like she was losing a 2nd mom.
I walked away after pointing out that I was really close to her mom and that I supported her.
She seems to think that I am a jerk.
Sidebar, I got back surgery 4 months ago and she was all Gung ho telling me she was going to take care of me and show her caring side. The 2nd night she was passed out nonresponsive on the couch and reeking of booze. I was stuck on the toilet for an hour and a half before I finally made it off.
So, am I the jerk?”
15. AITJ For Only Wanting To Financially Support My Sister And Not My Mom's Stepchildren?
“I’m 29 and in a good place financially. I have a 13-year-old sister who lives with my mom.
My mom decided to marry her new husband about 6 months ago, who has 5 underage children that he cares for. So they all live in a house now, 6 kids aged from 5 to 14, and 2 adults.
That house is a nightmare because of all the chaos and noise but that’s an entirely separate discussion. Her husband has now lost his job due to his employer going bust and is struggling to find new employment, this means their budget is now very very tight as 8 people need to live off one income.
My mom asked if I could help them out a little and I’ve offered to help out by taking care of my sister. I told my mom that I’m happy for her to stay here whenever she wants to, I’ll feed her and buy her clothes and other things that she needs.
That should free up some money in their budget. She was initially very supportive and wanted me to do it, but later told me that her husband disagrees and says if one child has outside help that goes solely to her that undermines the idea that ‘we’re all in this together’ and instead asked me to give them the money that I would have spent on my sister to them so that they can use it for the entire family.
I told them that I wouldn’t do this, but my offer stands.
My mom later kind of complained that my help is coming with strings attached, and I told her that I don’t think I’m being unreasonable here, for one it’s not really my responsibility that she decided to marry someone with 5 children.
Caring for that many children is expensive and this is something she should have considered. And my offer to take care of my sister should help them out. But my mom thinks I was being very selfish for not considering the other 5 innocent children who are struggling and insisting that my help should only go to my own sister. I was kind of surprised she thinks that way but have been wondering that maybe I’m being unreasonable?”
14. AITJ For Never Wanting To Talk To My Mother-In-Law Again?
“I met my MIL and FIL before I met my partner because I used to work for them. He happens to be autistic (Asperger’s) and I noticed shortly after starting the relationship that everyone in his family always treated him like he was unable to do things on his own and pretty much tried to influence him into doing the things they wanted him to (career-wise, job wise, quitting hobbies they considered childish, etc).
I told myself I would never do this, and I would always treat him like the adult he is, so I encourage him to make his own decisions and I can tell he’s grown a lot in the past 5 years of our relationship, in fact, I feel we have both grown up.
Back to his mom, I always noticed she resented that I became such an important person for her son and that he started taking my opinion/input into matters so much into consideration, but I always tried to be friends with her, talked to her in her own terms and pretty much be close to her.
But as it usually happens, it became more of a ‘pretend to be nice to your face and then trash talk about you behind your back’ kind of situation.
Things really went down when my partner let me borrow his car to go on a 4-day college trip and when she found out she went ballistic cause he never lends her the car to go anywhere.
She started screaming and saying that I was just a manipulative jerk who had slept with half our town before we met and even his father, and because his father wouldn’t continue the relationship I started going out with the son.
(This is, of course, a lie) My partner had a big meltdown from hearing this and when I came back from the trip he asked me to move in with him for a while because he didn’t want to be around her.
This was months ago, I haven’t talked to her again, blocked her on every social media, and started going to therapy. My partner is ok now, and he is now on speaking terms with her.
Now we are moving to a house of our own (we were at my parents’) and his family is pushing for us to have a good relationship with MIL again, but to be quite honest I don’t want her in my life anymore.
I understand she’s my partner’s mom and she’s always going to be in the picture, but I can’t get past the fact that she would say the things she said, knowing how much those things would hurt her son, just because he let ME borrow his car and not her, because he doesn’t trust her.
So obviously I’m still mad. But everyone in my partner’s family says she’s a good mom, that this was just a mistake she made, and that I should let it pass and fix things with her.
AITJ for never ever wanting to talk to her again?”
13. AITJ For Snapping At My Toxic Father-In-Law?
“My (28M) fiancee ‘Millie’ (24F) grew up in a mentally abusive household, especially her dad. She’s still in contact with them, but she’s in a much better position now, emotionally and mentally, helped by therapy and I’m very proud of her.
So the other day, we were at an event, and so were Millie’s parents. We were casually discussing venues for our wedding when her dad suggested a certain place, but she said that she didn’t like the decor there. Her mom agreed with her and I thought that was the end of that.
But Millie’s dad started saying how he’s always ‘at the mercy’ of his wife and children. She tried to laugh it off but he kept saying how ‘all his friends know that he is not respected in his own family’ and ‘he sacrificed so much for the sake of family to get it thrown back in his face’.
I got annoyed at that and said that we were all just ‘discussing’ venues and it’s not a big deal, there are some venues we’ll like and some we won’t. He continued that ‘he wishes it was just about a venue’ but how is it more than that? Something about how he’s the man of the family yet he gets ‘zero respect’ and it ‘hurts him, but he keeps quiet’.
I felt Millie get quite tense, so I said to him ‘You’re talking about respect? You’re a piece of crap who couldn’t care less about anyone except yourself, and honestly, you should be glad to have a kid like Millie who even kept contact with you, coz I surely wouldn’t’.
My tone was very rude, I’ll admit. Her dad kind of just stood there looking shocked, then said ‘This is your true face, is it?’ swore, and walked out. Millie’s mom said that I shouldn’t have said it to him like that and just kept the peace, he would have stopped eventually.
I said that there’s a fine line between keeping the peace and enabling toxic behavior.
Her siblings later told me that they understand why I said what I said, but it really wasn’t my place to say it. Apparently, their dad said that he was very hurt and that he won’t be attending our wedding or any family functions from now. I’ve been wondering if I actually went too far calling him a piece of crap? Is this a family dispute I shouldn’t have butted into? (especially considering we’re not even married yet)”
12. AITJ For Being Upset At My Partner For Neglecting The Garden?
“My partner (31M) and I (32F) have been together for almost five years now. A year and a half ago we bought a house together mainly due to my efforts. Once we moved in I ended up purchasing almost everything for the home – all the furniture, new flooring, groceries for the first few months, cleaning supplies, bathroom supplies, etc.
Basically, everything the home needed I bought myself. I was alright with this because my partner had to recoup his money and I had a lot more reserves after the home sale.
The only responsibility my partner had was the garden.
When we moved in, everything was clay.
There was no grass, plants, nothing. My partner promised me he would take care of it since I had basically paid for everything the first 6-8 months in the home. Well, months passed by, and still no garden. (We have a dog and it broke my heart seeing him struggle to walk over that clay just to go potty).
We got into many arguments about it. After every single argument, we both end up apologizing (me for getting angry and him for procrastinating). Eventually, after a lot of hair-pulling, he got around to the garden.
Except… the grass he planted died because he never watered it and never set up the sprinkler system.
He bought a bunch of potted plants and then never put them in the ground or watered them so they died. He dug a giant trench to remedy the soil and now we have a giant clay mound in front of our house that hasn’t moved in over six months.
The flowers he did put in the ground died because he installed too many drip lines and they flooded the area and he never went back to fix it. Literally, the only thing still living in the garden are the two trees I PLANTED! Everything he planted or was in charge of has either died or is in the process of dying due to his own procrastination.
It seems so unfair that I spent so much on the house and the one responsibility he had he just gets to shuck off. Now, whenever I look out on the yard I am resentful. I have tried asking him nicely, offering him help, telling him how it makes me feel, to finally getting angry and blowing up on him.
I hate arguing with him but it always comes to that when I see no progress and watch as he wastes money on plants and grass that just end up dying.
So today, I went outside and started removing grass and realized I am doing everything for this house and I’ve had enough.
When he came home today I snapped at him and told him if he can’t even handle this one responsibility how can I ever trust him with future responsibilities like children? He claims that kids and gardening are completely different things and that I’m blowing it out of proportion.
I responded that I can’t trust him anymore.
Did I go too far? Was it wrong to feel like my trust in him is completely broken over this one thing? He’s great in other aspects – caring, patient, and a good listener. But it’s so hard hearing him promise me over and over again how this will get done and knowing it’s a lie.
11. AITJ For Suggesting A Different Drop-Off Place Since My Ex Doesn't Want Me Looking Inside Her House?
“I (40m) am 4.5 years divorced from my ex (36f) and we have two children with a weekly schedule. Our custody agreement says that we exchange at a specific public place. About a year ago, my ex asked if I could drop the kids off at her place instead of the public place.
I said sure. It’s only a minute away and it’s no big deal. Figured it was just a nice thing to do. So for the past year, I’ve been driving to her place to drop off and pick up the kids at exchange time.
The main caveat is that she will not allow me through the door. Which doesn’t bother me. I don’t really care to go to her place that much. It’s only annoying when it’s freezing and I’m waiting 15+ minutes because one of the kids isn’t ready yet.
So the AITJ part. Last night we exchanged and as usual, I walked the kids to the door, gave them hugs, kisses, and ‘I love you, be good for your mom.’ While I was doing that, the door was open and my ex was standing there and she says ‘Please don’t look in my house.
It’s messy and I don’t want you looking at it.’ Ok… Sure. I can’t suddenly go blind but whatever. I really don’t care if the place is messy. I know she worked all week and probably didn’t have time to pick up.
My 5-year-old child asked me to open a juice for her and was being silly and I started laughing at her. My ex gets mad and starts saying ‘Stop laughing at my mess. It’s not funny. Don’t disrespect my boundaries, I told you not to look in my house.’ I was surprised and responded ‘I wasn’t.
I was laughing at (child). I don’t care about your house.’ She kept getting more irate and saying I was disrespecting her boundaries. At this point, I see my older child (12) getting uncomfortable so I shrugged it off, hugged the kids, and left.
Later I texted her that I wasn’t trying to disrespect her. I was hugging my kids. My place is messy too and to not be so hard on herself about it. She doubled down that I’m disrespectful and it’s her wish and I need to respect it.
I responded this morning by saying ‘Look, let’s just go back to switching at (specific public place). That way I don’t see whatever your house looks like and I’m not going to drop the kids off in a blindfold.’ And she railed on me all morning about how I don’t know how to compromise, that she didn’t know how we lasted in marriage, and that I need to be respectful of her insecurities.
She stated that she expects me to drop the kids off but not leave the vicinity of my truck and not approach her door. To which I’m like… ok, that’s basically a trespass order. So, I plan to go back to switching at the public place because…
my eyes work, I can’t turn them off. And I’m not going to drop my kids off at her place as a favor just to be told I’m unwelcome outside of my vehicle.
But apparently, I’m a jerk that is walking all over her boundaries. I don’t think that I am, but maybe? You tell me. AITJ?”
10. AITJ For Telling My Mother-In-Law That I Know She's Crying In The Bathroom?
“My husband recently reached out to his estranged mother after a one-year time out and asked if she was willing to try and have a relationship again. At first, she said yes, but when he laid down his boundary that we would never be around her husband again, she began to back peddle.
There isn’t even enough room to get into the things her husband has done and said, but I will never be around him again.
MIL seemed like she didn’t really want to work on it, but agreed. The issue is (and I really do sympathize) MIL can’t drive due to a seizure disorder.
The seizures themself are mild and she doesn’t need her husband with her, but this means if she wants to leave she would have to call her husband or an Uber and wait (Uber is a bit slow where we live as it is a very residential neighborhood).
MIL was anxious about this because she tends to run away when she is feeling emotions.
She agreed to come over and I really was resolved to try with her. I cooked one of her favorite meals because she hates 99% of my cooking.
I thought I was polite, but she excused herself to go to the bathroom and was gone for a long time. I finally had to pee, and being pregnant really couldn’t hold it. I could hear her crying through the door.
MIL does not like showing emotion, but I knocked and said I knew she was crying and it was fine. She can go to our bedroom if she wants, but I really need to use the bathroom. MIL opened the door, tried to deny she was crying, and then said I was a jerk for ‘calling her out’.
She said I could have just said I needed to pee. I asked if I did something to upset her and she screamed at me that she wasn’t crying. She then admitted she had been crying because she was trapped.
She left right after and told my husband that I was rude to call her out like that. She said she needs time to decide if she still wants a relationship, but from now on public only so there will be Ubers around.”
9. AITJ For Resenting My Ex's Best Friend For Destroying Our Relationship?
“I (30f) was engaged to my college sweetheart ‘Mike’ (30m) and was really happy. What I wasn’t happy about was his friendship with his childhood friend ‘David’ (30m). The guy was an obnoxious and often rude jerk who likes to play ‘pranks’ on people.
It seems like the more inappropriate or the more people tell him to not prank them he’ll take it as a challenge and either target them more or pretend that he’s about to prank them just so he can watch people be anxious over it.
I couldn’t stand the guy but was willing to tolerate him.
When Mike said that David would be his Best Man I was against it and we got into a fight but I relented. During the objections part David spoke up and said that he couldn’t let his friend be two-timed.
He even went as far as to hire someone to be a fake affair partner. I ran away in tears as David laughed. I barricaded myself in the bathroom bawling my eyes out and refusing to let anyone in. I could hear Mike knocking on the door saying that David confessed to it just being a prank and that he knows I wouldn’t have an affair.
But that didn’t make me feel better. I heard my sister and best friend ‘Jane’ (31f) calling out to me and I crawled out and left. I called my parents and grandparents apologizing for the whole scene and told them that the wedding was off and I planned to never speak to him again either.
Fast forward a few months later and Jane confessed that before the wedding she had a one-night stand with David, was pregnant, and going to keep the baby. She was so remorseful about the situation and after I had my space, I told her that it would be okay and that I’m still her friend.
Jane named me as the godmother of her son ‘Tommy’ (7m) and he’s a little cutie. He calls me ‘Auntie’ and Mike, who David named as the godfather, ‘Uncle Mike’ and I will say becoming a dad made David a better person.
Although, I’m never going to like him and I guess Mike never got over me and David feels super guilty and wants us to get back together but I have refused.
When Tommy’s birthday was coming up David tried to use that as an excuse to get me and Mike to talk to each other, but I shut that down.
I even opted out last minute with an illness excuse. David sent me a long text about how disappointing I was for not being able to put my past aside for Tommy’s benefit and I took offense to that. We went back and forth a little and I told David that Mike and me are over and that he just needs to live with his role in any negative impact that the wedding caused on Mike.
David claims he’s just trying to fix things between us and that I’m being petty. I thought nothing of it at first but now I’m starting to wonder, AITJ?
- David and I were never friends and never will be. I tolerated him for Mike back then and I’m tolerating him for Tommy now.
- Jane and David were never in a relationship.
It was just a one-night stand that resulted in a child.
- When Jane first told me I was quite upset and didn’t speak to her for a while but we managed to patch things up.
- David’s prank was the most humiliating moment of my life and a part of me blamed Mike for it because he insisted on David being his Best Man and that’s why I ran away.
- For days Mike tried to reach out through friends and family but I ignored him.
- Once it became clear that I wasn’t coming back Mike did temporarily cut David off but they managed to patch things up.
Don’t know why or how.
- When Tommy was around 2 David did apologize to me for his prank. It felt sincere.
- Since the wedding (and Tommy’s birth) I’ve never seen nor heard of David doing pranks again.
- Jane has tried to set up boundaries between David and me on my behalf but she can only do so much, and I don’t blame her for it.
- David went through Jane’s phone without her knowledge and that’s how he got my new number and texted me.”
8. AITJ For Telling My Stepdaughter That I Need My Kitchen Back?
“My stepdaughter (17) has very different food tastes than us. Her mom’s new husband is of another culture (and her mom and therefore my stepdaughter are partly of that culture themselves). So she cooks a lot from that culture as taught by her stepfather and his family, and even when she’s not cooking food that’s directly that culture’s cuisine, she does a lot of strong flavors and spices.
She does a lot of general experimenting too. Our kids are younger and my husband is a bit of a picky eater, so we tend to eat a lot more bland foods to be honest. None of us are really foodies.
We’re also vegetarian, she and her mom’s family are not.
She was getting frustrated with food at our house when she visits so my husband (without asking me first) said she could cook meals for herself as often as she wanted. Which sounds reasonable but she’s in there a lot.
It’s bad enough at other times of the day but for dinners, she likes to do all these intricate complicated meals and ends up monopolizing the kitchen. We have an apartment with a galley-style kitchen so it’s really not meant for more than one person to be in there at once, even making a cup of coffee while someone else is cooking is tight.
I’ll be honest the smell of the cooking meat as well as the strong spices really bothers me too because it wafts through the apartment.
I finally said, look either you need to cook for everybody (and make it vegetarian and reduce the spices a bit), or you need to make your meals earlier in the day + freeze them because I can’t make dinner or clean up or get the kids snacks or make myself coffee if you’re in there without both of us being in each other’s ways. She got upset and then my husband got mad at me for trying to make her make dinner for us which wasn’t what I said.”
7. AITJ For Limiting The Amount Of Food My Kids Can Eat?
“I (39F) am a mom of three teenagers (12F, 14M, and 15M) who are all hitting puberty at full force and have started eating like maniacs.
Now, we live in a large multi-generational household with their grandparents, aunts, uncles, and a few of their cousins, which is pretty common in our country.
I’m a stay-at-home mom so I’m the one who cooks for everyone most of the time, and because there are so many of us in here when I cook, I cook a LOT.
Even so, nothing could’ve prepared me for the massive increase in my kids’ appetites that came with hitting puberty.
In the last few months, they’ve all started eating like horses and going back for seconds, thirds, fourths, and fifths at nearly every meal. My kids have loved food ever since they were little and I always knew that growth spurts often come with an increase in appetite, but this is honestly a tad ridiculous.
I never expected it to be this bad.
Just yesterday, my 15-year-old ate an entire loaf of bread that was meant to last us a few days and feed several other people. The whole loaf. And a few days ago when I baked two massive pots of pie for the whole family to enjoy at lunch, the boys ate an entire pie all by themselves while my daughter finished nearly half of the other one.
By the time they were done, there was barely anything left for me and my husband to eat, let alone the whole family. And they did it behind everyone’s backs while no one else was in the kitchen. And these are just a few examples, but this sort of thing is something they do on a regular, almost daily basis.
Today I sat down with them and let them know that it’s inappropriate and disrespectful to always eat so much to the point of not leaving anything for anyone else in the family. That we can’t afford to go grocery shopping every single day because they’re always clearing out the fridge.
And that from now on, if they still feel hungry after a meal, they can go for seconds once, but only once. After that, they can only have more of said meal after everyone else has had their share. We also talked about appropriate portions of other groceries like bread and I told them they can have 3 or 4 slices a day, but never an entire loaf.
I think those are all fairly reasonable rules, even for three growing kids who love food, but my husband thinks I’m being too strict on them. He says all teenagers go through a massive eating phase at some point, that they’re going through growth spurts, and that I’m depriving them of the energy and fuel their bodies need. AITJ? I could really use some third-party opinions here.”
6. AITJ For Stopping Trying To Build A Relationship With My Stepkids?
“I (32M) live together with my fiancé John (36M). John has 3 kids from a previous relationship with his ex (7F, 9M, 11M). We have them on weekends while they stay the whole week with their mom.
I was the kids’ swimming coach (as an extra job I do for fun) and every weekend their dad drove them to the pool, that’s where we met, we started flirting and then he finally asked me out so we started going out.
The kids and I had a good relationship prior to going out with their dad.
It’s been 1.5 years since their dad and I started seeing each other and every time they are here, they make sure I know they hate me so much, no matter how hard I’ve tried to fix the damage we caused by treating them like my own kids, cooking breakfast for them whenever they are here, buying them stuff, finding out what their favorite things are to talk about but nothing seems to work.
They got to the point of asking their mom to list them in another swimming club, I just quit and they stayed, I did it for their sake.
I decided to give up because it’s exhausting being rejected over and over again.
I’ll be cordial whenever they get here but nothing else no more cooking, no more gifts, no more anything just a stepdad (this doesn’t mean I’ll be mean).
John is planning a family trip with them and me, for us to bond, it’ll be to the beach so I can ‘help them’ with a few lessons and according to John that’s how ‘we bond’ but this wouldn’t be the first time we try a pool, water park or the beach to ‘bond’ and it doesn’t work.
So I told John that I’ll go but he shouldn’t expect me to ask them to do things us four together. I told him that he shouldn’t suggest any kind of bonding activities that just involve the kids and me. I’m open to playing some games but only if it includes the five of us because when their dad is playing they usually ignore me but don’t act rude.
John says he is disappointed I’m not trying harder; I asked my friends about it and they say I’m a jerk because I somehow owe this to the kids, and it’s my responsibility to fix things, I get where they are coming from and I know why the kids hate me and I know I’m the adult here but it sucks being rejected over and over again.”
5. AITJ For Not Telling My Husband That Dinner Is Ready?
“I (36F) work from home. My husband (38M) works in construction. We both do 8-hour days but he is off work about 2.5 hours before me bc he starts earlier. He picks up the kids from school and then goes to the gym and/or the bar down the street (think like a Cheers situation where old guys get off work, sit around nursing beers and watching sports, everybody knows your name situation).
This is a more recent routine for him. He asks that I text him when dinner is done. This annoys me right off the bat bc it is a lot every day to get off work, open the door to your office, and immediately be thrown into watching kids and figuring out dinner.
So to think about him casually sipping a beer and then just popping up to enjoy a hot meal doesn’t sit right with me.
He asked again today and got annoyed when I said no. He thinks I am being a jerk because it takes no energy for me to just text him and doesn’t see the issue.
Plus when he is here he doesn’t really help me cook so what’s the difference? I feel like you already avoided all the work associated with the meal, asking for a special alert for dinner on top of that is outrageous, especially when you already know I’m cooking and you live here.
Plus when he is here, while he might not help, he sits at the kitchen island and we chat. So maybe I am the jerk because I would rather he be here and am being bitter about the text thing. I don’t know, is this a normal request? I know this is pretty petty but we just can’t seem to see eye to eye so I thought I’d open it up to you.”
4. AITJ For Acting Cold To My Brother-In-Law After What He Did On My Wedding Day?
“My (26M) husband, we’ll call him ‘Frank,’ and I (26F) got married in December. It was a small wedding, really only consisting of our closest friends and family – and was a bit of a winter wonderland. Frank’s brother, Tom (18M) was the best man, as they grew up extremely close (closer than most siblings I reckon).
Tom has always been a bit immature in his humor and jokes but has always been very moral/accepting of everyone. He’s a sweet kid usually if not a little stupid (in a silly way). He’s also a bit anxious because he didn’t grow up with many friends.
We had explicitly told everyone that we didn’t want any pranks or funny business at our wedding, and the actual reception went great, but then we got to the getaway car and oh – what’s that? An inappropriate image painted onto the door.
I got super upset and stressed at the time because I get anxious easily and don’t really enjoy unanticipated changes/surprises, especially not on a day that’s already stressful. Frank basically went around asking who did it and turns out it was Tom and a few friends, who thought it would be funny at the time.
Tom got really awkward all of a sudden and kind of disappeared while we weren’t looking (turns out he’d run home).
Since we didn’t get an apology, I and Frank ignored Tom (and most other people) while we were on our honeymoon, and when we got back I continued to give him the silent treatment because he’d actively gone against my one ask.
Frank was quite miserable about this because he did want us to get along but he didn’t disagree with my decision either.
Tom eventually apologized awkwardly, and I’ve been talking to him again since, but I am still being fairly cold towards him, I’m not really meaning it most of the time (though I’ll be the first to admit I have been snarky or heavily sarcastic on purpose once or twice), but he made me super stressed on an already stressful day – but now some of his family (and my family, just whoever has been seeing me and Tom talking), are saying that I’m blowing it out of proportion and he’s just a teenager who did a stupid teenager thing without thinking, and I should let it go.
Though I also have a few other people saying that I’m right to be angry, and his being young doesn’t excuse that.
3. AITJ For Asking My Significant Other To Cover Up His Tattoo When We Visit My Aunt's House?
“My (22f) significant other (Mark, 23m) and I are big into tattoos and both have many. I love all my SO’s tats and think they look incredible but there’s one that causes a bit of ‘controversy’. We’re also both into Junji Ito, and Mark loves it so much, he got one of his manga frames as an armpiece.
It looks great, but it is gory and pretty disturbing. This piece, despite being one of the better ones he has, is also my least favorite as it heavily features body horror which I don’t mess with (I have to be in the right mind space for it if that makes sense?)
Anyway, we were at my aunt’s house and Mark had his arm out.
My aunt’s two kids (6 and 11) walk in and scream when they see the tattoo. They’re crying and 6 says it’s ‘too scary’ and she doesn’t want to come to hug me because of the ‘monster’.
I tell Mark to put a jumper on or something but he refuses, saying it’s ‘his body, his choice’ and they’ll ‘see worse in the real world’.
My aunt is right there, by the way. I pull him aside and say he has 2 choices: cover it up or leave. He ended up covering it up and sulked. When we got back, we had an argument. He said I was being ridiculous ‘trying to police (his) body’ and that he thought I liked the tattoo.
I said I do like it, but he has to be dense not to understand why it’s inappropriate to show kids.
He called me a hypocrite and that I’m going back on my beliefs that tattoos aren’t unprofessional. I say ‘most aren’t, but yours are. I like your tats, but if I saw your armpiece, I would be put off.’
He left the house and hasn’t come back yet. The argument happened 4 hours ago. I guess he has a point, it is his body.
2. AITJ For Complaining About My Inefficient Coworker?
“So I work at a warehouse, which follows the same dynamics as a standard online shipping establishment. We do accept quite a bit of part-timers to assist the full-timers and lessen our workload.
I manage part-time workers as well as oversee warehouse duties.
The issue at hand is that there was this girl (Pris) hired for part time and let me tell you from the moment she entered I knew she was going to be no good. Had a very puzzled and constantly confused look from the start and always would ask like a million questions.
She does the work and is somewhat ‘hardworking’ or whatever but she does it slowly, I don’t know if she has a mental disability or something but yeah she is not very efficient. Some of our tasks include carrying boxes that weigh anywhere from 5-15 kg.
So anyways this time around I had her with me and we were sorting boxes into specific postal codes. She was literally taking the box one by one instead of two or three at once so that we could get the job done faster.
So I shouted once a bit harshly to compel her to take the parcels faster so that they won’t all mount up. She did eventually end up taking two boxes per time but still was extremely slow. Then god forbid she started crying out of nowhere and that was when I realized I had enough and complained to my supervisor.
He said I was being too harsh and that most part-timers are students and I should just let them be. I don’t know if I’m really in the wrong or if my supervisor is just too naive, a student or not if you can’t do a job properly she should find another job.
There are 7 other female part-timers as well but they assist with labeling the parcels and scanning only this female part-timer assists me with the main warehouse duties, the rest are guys. Do tell me if I’m justified (If I am, I’m planning to take a video of her working to show to my supervisor) or if I’m wrong I’d think about changing her to another simpler task like the other females are doing including scanning and labeling.”
1. AITJ For Wanting My Stepdaughter To Move Out Of The House?
“My husband and his daughter moved into my house back in 2016. I was more than happy for my step-daughter (Erin) to move in since she doesn’t get on with her own mother.
I and my husband have a child of our own who is now 5.
Erin and my son get along so well and she is amazing with him, but sometimes I get a little jealous about the bond they have. My son will only want to be hugged by her or spend his time with her.
He even stopped wanting me to read him a story at night and says he likes the way Erin does it better. I admit this makes me jealous but it is not the reason I want her out like my husband keeps thinking is the reason.
We recently found out we’re having another child and since our house only has 3 bedrooms there just won’t be enough room. I want to turn Erin’s room into a nursery room.
Since it is my house, I thought my husband would understand that I want my room back as I was nice enough to let her stay here for 6 years.
She’s 18 now and legally an adult so I don’t feel any guilt about asking her to leave. Her college doesn’t have accommodation so she lives here while at college so I understand it would be difficult for her to find a place to stay.
She could even move back in with her own mother while she looks for a place.
My husband is mad at my decision and is calling me a jerk and saying if she goes then he goes too. I don’t want to lose him too but I feel like this is my decision, not his.
I’ve not told Erin about this yet but planning to soon so I can get on with decorating before I physically can’t. I’m worried she’ll think I’m a jerk too since I still want a relationship with her.
So please help me, AITJ?”