People Tell Their Unthinkable Revenge Stories
40. He Just Wanted To Get Rid Of The Crusaders
“My friend John (for the sake of his privacy, that’s not his real name though) had been visited by the local Crusaders Union once a day for the past week and had kept putting them off with one excuse or another, only to have them return.
On this fine morning, however, John received a dump truck full of firewood. All of it was sticky, heavy pine rounds that had to be split and stacked.
For those of you who know what a chord is, it was about three and a half.
When the Crusaders came by, as he had expected, John acted overjoyed. He exclaimed, ‘Thank GOD!!! I was praying for some help!!!’ And wouldn’t you know it, after several hours of sweat, slivers, and blisters, a weeklong heavy job was finished.
That evening, John had a soak in a nice hot bath to soothe his sore muscles as he scrubbed the pitch out of his skin. He was in incredible shape and was still tired after the day’s workout, so he wondered how the less muscular, out-of-shape Crusaders felt. He never found out about it, because he never saw them again.”
39. He Decided To Get Petty But In Style
“When my Adviser was a young buck at Berkeley (this was probably in the late 1950s), he had a close friend. Now, this close friend was a polymath who was preparing to go to medical school. He was engaged to a lady, who couldn’t wait to start her married life with the future doctor.
One day, Dr. Polymath had this realization that he was not interested in becoming a medical doctor after all.
His interest was piqued by that seductress of the purely abstract – Mathematics. He couldn’t imagine being in an office, caring for patients – when he could be immersed in his thoughts on a giant blackboard, with only numbers and Greek letters for company in a University that would be lucky to have him. When he revealed his plans to his fiancee, she promptly broke off their engagement.
She had been set on being a doctor’s wife. She couldn’t come to terms with being a Mathematician’s wife.
Dr. Polymath was devastated. He had always imagined that his former fiancee as being a part of his life. Whitecoat or whatever, he’d always imagined his ladylove in his life. After the necessary period of mourning, he got back on his feet. He started his graduate work in Mathematics.
One year in Mathematics taught him that he was not suited for this field after all. He found that the challenges of becoming a doctor were more in line with his personality. He decided to give up Mathematics and got back on his old track.
The future doctor had lost a year and his fiancee in this process. But, it was not to be so – for, the former fiancee came running back to him.
She was supremely delighted to be reunited with her beau, and her broken dream of being a doctor’s wife had been made whole once again.
In due time, a day was fixed for the wedding. It was to be a modest ceremony, with all of the bride’s family gathered to celebrate the young ones’ nuptials. The bride’s father walked her down the aisle, only to find that the groom had walked out at the last minute.
You see, his fiancee had abandoned him when she had perceived that he would be making far less as a Mathematician, than as a Doctor. While he had not been motivated to move back to medicine because of his earning potential, her departure had left a sour taste in his mouth. Her return never did mitigate that. He couldn’t imagine living the rest of his life with someone who would abandon him so easily. While letting her down easily would have been the more gentlemanly approach, he decided to get petty – but in style. He walked out of their wedding. An act of most brutal revenge, indeed!”
38. Mess With My Family? I'll Mess With Your Hangers
“This story is about my mother’s 2nd husband. She married him when I was about 12. They were married for about 15 years.
‘Bob; was/is one of those people who are heavily into his religion and expects that he should be the head of the house. Bob was borderline financially (spending money they didn’t even have) and emotionally abusive to her.
Some of Bob’s greatest hits were:
- Telling me he was going to take my car (that I paid for and wasn’t in his name) when his AC blew, even though I was driving it to/from school and work.
I hid the keys.
- Bob worked at a chain fast food place and would expect me to work washing dishes off the books to help keep his labor numbers down. One of those live to work types, they fired him eventually because he is awful at managing people.
- He had 2 young children from a previous marriage. He wouldn’t tell anyone when they were coming and just drop it on us 1-2 days before and he would just expect my mother or I would care for the children.
More than once, I told him I was working and he needed someone there for them when I got home from school because I needed to be at work. He just wouldn’t show up, leaving me with the choice to call in to my job (which paid my expenses as well as contributed to the household expenses) or leave 2 children under 5 home alone. Then HE’D be angry when he got home because I was a teen and needed to do what he said, even if that meant losing a day’s pay.
- He was obsessed with hangers.
He had this weird thing about how he only wanted a certain type of hanger for his clothes. If anyone else used this type of hanger, he’d get angry and be in a mood for days. Over hangers. Of course, as soon as they were married, he didn’t do laundry again, but everyone was expected to save HIS hangers for HIS laundry.
So, after I married off and my brother graduated high school, my mom decided to leave him.
My brother was working for Bob’s family manufacturing business at the time. (Bob had refused to work there until after being fired from the fast-food chain, and only was a supervisor for lower-level employees like the cleaning crew.) When my mother decided to leave, she asked my brother to help her move. He agreed and cleared the time off. She decided it was in her best interest to not tell Bob she was leaving until it was done.
He wasn’t blindsided, he knew she was going to do it, but she didn’t want him to “help” with it because he is a massive control freak.
My brother secured the time off and all was well. Somehow, Bob found out why he wanted the time off. The NIGHT BEFORE she’s set to move out, he tells my brother that he didn’t approve the time off and if he wasn’t at work the next morning, he was fired.
Then he told her that if she wanted to move out so bad, she could do it alone. My brother had bills of his own and had to choose. So my mom called me that night in tears and I told her to tell my brother to go to work. My husband and I were able to find professional movers and hire them for the same day at like 6 am.
We got so lucky. Plus, she had been buying furniture and things for a bit, so half of her stuff was at my place anyway, so the movers picked up her stuff then we went over to Bob’s place to get her and the rest of her stuff.
The only thing my mom really was taking besides personal items was her clothes. She even left the furniture she came into the marriage with.
But she hadn’t packed her closet clothes because she was working in a professional setting and needed them. I told her to go deal with the movers and I’d finish up packing her clothes.
Here’s the petty revenge… I swapped EVERY SINGLE ONE of Bob’s hangers. I even went into the coat closet and took the ones there, and the laundry room where the unused ones were kept.
I left all of my mom’s ‘regular’ plastic hangers, so he wasn’t left without any. I even hung up his clothes, all on the ‘bad’ hangers. Because my mom literally left with her personal items and the clothes on her back, he didn’t have a leg to stand on. Any person he tried to complain to about the hangers shut him down immediately, which angered him to no end because he HATES being told he’s wrong or not having his butt kissed.”
37. She Didn't Know I Had Solid Proof Too
“I think I may have avenged myself and my family from my ex-wife. She was able to mask over and conceal her lying, scheming, and abuse for years up until I turned my body, my car, our house, and our business into a large surveillance net capturing all of our interactions on audio recording devices.
I’d make some brief notes about each day’s content and then upload all the recorded content on a daily basis to a private website.
I did this ritually for a few months. And, when she would become abusive, immoral, and unethical, and just nasty it was ALL recorded. I secretly gave her direct family members access to that private website where all the recordings were archived.
So, when she would come crying to them and telling outrageous stories filled with complete lies, all her family had to do was listen to the surveillance recordings.
This permitted them to see her true self in a way that they would not have been able to see and experience without those recordings.
The impact of now undeniable selfishness and abuse was so profound on her father that he offered to pay for and actually did pay for MY attorney to divorce his daughter. I won’t necessarily say it was revenge but I’m sure from my ex-wife’s perspective, it sure looked like it.
I will just say that I spent years being undermined, condescended to, being used, being lied to, and being blamed for things that she caused and sometimes even manufactured as an excuse to initiate abuse. The surveillance recordings eliminated any and all confusion about what was what and put the truth front and center in an indefensible way. Using surveillance was my weapon to combat the abuse.
As an aside, I chronicled a chapter by chapter sequence of one of her more elaborate schemes with the audio recordings in my blog. This revolved around an incident that happened where she covertly manufactured a handwritten letter containing derogatory, concerning, and even embarrassing statements about herself which she then secretly dropped off at the Department of Family and Child Services.
Naturally, the letter caused DFCS to launch an investigation into the matter.
After a DFCS officer looked into it and came to our house to discuss the matter, they presumed that the letter was probably written by someone who had a grudge against my wife and quickly closed the case. My ex-wife went on a rampage blaming me and multiple other members of my family for the letter. However, while DFSC closed the case, I didn’t close the case and continued doing my research and evidence gathering all of which are presented in the chapter by chapter recordings in my blog regarding this specific act of abuse.
The bottom line is I proved she lied about all kinds of claims and statements she made regarding the letter and even people she said talked to her about it and discussed it with her in person (all the things she said were discussed never even happened) but she never admitted to actually writing the letter. Once she was aware that I had proof that she was lying about many things regarding this matter, she quickly wanted to dismiss the entire thing and not talk about it anymore.
That series of recordings in those 5 chapters cover the incident from the start, where we just learned about the letter, to the finish where I had a final confrontation with her about all of it after completing my research and recorded interviews with people she said were involved in handling the letter but who never actually did and didn’t know anything about it.
So, yeah, I’d say I got a heavy-duty dose of revenge considering all the things she pulled. I wouldn’t call it brutal though, I call it justice.”
36. She Thought She'll Be Getting A Lot Of Fortune From His Family
“I was working as a waitress in a small country pub. One Friday evening most of the regulars left, and there were only around 15 or so people in the front bar. We were not far from calling ‘last drinks’ closing for the night when in walked a bloke none of us had ever seen before. He yelled out ‘everyone put your away, I’m shouting the bar for the rest of the night!’
We wondered if he was quite sane, but he insisted he knew what he was doing, and asked that the barman bring out every bottle of black sambuca in the storeroom, as that was what he wanted us all to drink.
After the first two rounds of sambuca shots for all present, the gentleman explained his predicament. He was from a semi-wealthy family, with a high-paying job and was originally just passing through our ‘blink & you’ll miss it’ town when he received a phone call from his lawyer. His (about to be ex) partner had suddenly run off with another fella, and at 6 am the following morning their joint bank account would be frozen and all funds split evenly between the two.
This was before the days of smartphones and internet banking, and as it was a Friday night, no banks were open. He knew his significant other was from a very poor background and was currently unemployed so she would be looking to get as much as possible. The only thing he could think to do was to drain the account as much as possible before 6 am, and our pub was the only place of business he could find.
I don’t remember much of that night. There was a ridiculous amount of extremely expensive booze purchased by him and consumed by us all, given how willing we were to help him out. He booked the best room in the pub for himself to stay in and paid for the rest of the rooms so nobody would have to drive. One thing I do remember very clearly is that the next day was around 45 degrees celsius (around 113F), making all our hangovers absolutely horrific.
But I do hope that there was a lot less in the account than when he first walked in.
The second story is kinda along similar lines, and took place a year or so later.
I was visiting the newly purchased home of the publicans who were my employers in the first story. The house was immaculate, with four bedrooms, a large fully-enclosed outside entertaining area, landscaped yard.
The house had a room set up as an at-home theatre, with a projector and a large screen; there was a wine cellar and a walk-in pantry almost as big as the huge kitchen. There was nothing this house was missing, other than perhaps a swimming pool. Good real estate as we know is all about location, location, location, and this property was a 1/4 acre corner block (in a time where block sizes are rapidly shrinking to a mere courtyard), and it was on the edge of what was at the time one of the hottest up and coming brand-new suburbs that were highly sought after.
Basically, the couple (my former employers) who bought it should not have been able to afford it.
I asked how much they paid, to which I got a lot of laughter, and they told me that it cost them between $140-$150K. This was astonishing, as the property was clearly worth at least three times that. And then they told me…
They were driving in the area looking at anything for sale, and in the front yard of this house was a clearly homemade ‘For Sale’ sign.
They stopped & knocked on the door, a young bloke answered. He told them that his fiancee had skipped town with his best mate, and had told him to sell the house & she wanted half the proceeds. His parents had given them the house as an engagement present, so there was no mortgage, and he obviously had access to whatever finances he needed, whereas like in the previous story, the young lady was from a much lower socio-economic background.
So he decided to sell the house privately and asked my friends to make an offer. Jokingly they went as low as possible, thinking he would scoff and tell them to bugger off; instead, he immediately said ‘done’ and put his hand out to shake.
The moral of both stories is clearly don’t screw around on your partner if you think you stand to make a lot from their families’ fortunes because you will end up with nothing.”
35. No One Can Easily Come Into My Room Now
“My sister and I get along really well now, but a little more than 3 years ago we were in the Dark Ages of our relationship. She was 16 and I was 20. To make things worse, we both were living at home at the time and my mom left on vacation to visit relatives in Ohio. Even worse for me, I was there without a car because I’d left my car in Ohio, flying back instead of driving.
My mom was to drive my car back, but until then, my sister and I had to share my mother’s car.
When my mom left, my sis ran amuck. There was nothing I could do. She would have all kinds of wild parties: I would come home and there would be strange teenagers lying in MY BED passed out. Vomit in all kinds of places, okay?
My sister would disappear for days with the car, leaving me stranded.
She acted like she had more priority to the car than I did, that and the phone. She used to talk on the phone for hours, literally. For me, it was best to just stay away from the house and spend time at my friend’s house. One day, after she had really burnt me up, I decided that I was going to pay her back once and for all.
I changed the doorknob on the door to my bedroom, replacing it with one with an outside lock. Then, I grabbed all of the phones in the entire house and threw them in my room. I locked the door, and disappeared with the car for three or four days!!! I know that she was probably stuck for quite some time before friends dropped by. I made sure not to take her calls at my friend’s house. My sister was so distraught about it all, she managed to call my mom (from a payphone no doubt!) in Ohio and complain about it!”
34. They're Still Wondering Who Called Who
“I have two friends who don’t get along with each other well, mainly because they both are the ‘know it all’ types. So when they are around each other, they are constantly at each other’s throats. I got this idea from another friend once when we were both wasted and decided to play a prank on these two gentlemen (who were not with us at the time)!
We took my telephone and my cellular phone and each called one of the two victims (dial asterisk 67 to be safe and make it anonymous).
It was about 4:00 am, so they were both asleep, but fortunately, they both answered after about 4-5 rings.
Now here’s the funny part… We took the phones and put one receiver next to the other’s speaker and vice versa. (So the sound is coming out each phone into the other’s receiver.) After each victim said ‘hi’ a couple of times, they started asking who each other was and why they were calling him at 4 o’clock in the morning.
All we heard there was ‘Why in the world are you calling me at 4 in the morning?’ ‘I didn’t call you stupid idiot, you called me!’ It took everything we could muster to keep from laughing too loud.
They were both annoyed at each other because each one thought the other was calling them and then denying it. Meanwhile, I was busting a nut holding the two phones together listening to it all!”
33. The Missionaries Didn't Know What To Say
“A friend of mine answered his door one day and, yet again, another missionary wanted to talk to him about the kingdom of heaven. My friend was late getting up and was scrambling to get dressed for work, so he answered the door half-dressed and irritated.
The missionaries persisted. His roommate (a married man with two children mind you!), hearing the conversation came out in his bathrobe and wrapped his arms around my flustered friend in front of the missionaries piping up ‘Who’s at the door dear?’ and pecked him on the cheek.
The Missionaries apparently turned sheet white and left… never to be seen at the address again.
The other story is similar. This friend had a night job so he slept in late in the morning. Missionaries arrived at his door bright and early one morning and so he decided to answer the door and give them a bit of a scare.
He answered the door with nothing on but a half-opened robe holding a jar of Vaseline.
The Missionaries were disturbed but undaunted. Exasperated my friend announced, ‘Look I just got through hooking up with this girl and she really likes to cuddle afterward you know?!’ The missionaries mutter apologizes ‘we’re sorry, sir. Please apologize to your wife for us as well…’ My friend huffed at them and said ‘Why would I marry a goat?’ tossed them the Vaseline and slammed the door.”
32. He Thinks She'll Get Back Together With Him
“So I had a really good friend and she was deeply madly in love with her partner for about 3 years! I mean it was a serious relationship. I had seen the way that he had been treating her, I wouldn’t say it was the best. She was known by us as giving a lot in a relationship, so we called her The Giver.
We had warned her that he was acting weird and didn’t seem to be really deep in the whole thing.
We had a lot of fights about it until we stopped because we were all tired of the same old story.
One day, she came to us crying. He had broken up with her saying that he was still in love with his ex and she couldn’t give anything more. (Funny how he came to that conclusion after 3 years of being in a relationship). Even though I wanted to scream I TOLD YOU, we all tried to calm her down but things got worse within days.
She wasn’t coming to hang out with us anymore, she tried to keep us away and every time we tried to approach her she would kick us out of her space.
Then after a month, she came back apologizing, we hugged tightly and everything was fine, at least in the beginning… After a week we were all partying and she kept saying that she didn’t even care about him anymore.
Then, the second a guy asked for her number she started swearing and crying, we were all shocked when she even pushed that guy. He called her crazy and left. After that, she went back home all alone and she wouldn’t let us come back again. IT WAS LIKE LIVING A TEEN DRAMA! This whole situation kept going on for like a year, and we were trying to be there when she needed us but we were leaving her the space she needed.
After a lot of drama, tears, and pain she came back all recovered.
I mean she was a new person like nothing had ever happened. And she was good, she started going out again and after some failures and really funny bad outings, she found true love! George. He is really a nice guy and we all appreciate him.
Though karma is true as people say. After 3 years, her ex called her back while she was in love with George.
‘I want you back, I am done with my ex, I never really wanted her. I was being a jerk, and I know years have passed but I am still here and through that, I understand how much I want you, how wrong I was. Shall we meet? I really need to talk to you.’ He begged. She was like, ‘I see. Sure let’s meet, I have forgiven everything.’
So that happened.
Except for the fact, she went there with her new partner who by the way was also in on the plan. Her ex was shocked as she told him, ‘Let me introduce my partner George… you said you wanted to talk to me. I hope it’s not a problem that George came with me, we go everywhere together. As you understand it’s because he knows what he really wants and he is sure about me, he never doubts his feelings for me, he never needed to go through a phase to love me better.
But tell me what did you want to talk to me about?’ He was still, couldn’t even talk and then here he goes saying ‘You know what I am happy for you. See you around.’ We couldn’t believe our sensitive giver was sooo strong now!
After a month while she was out with her partner she met him in a club with his new partner. They all said hi.
‘We should go to a movie all together,’ she said
‘Well maybe one day,’ her ex replied.
“Tomorrow is fine?’ George asked.
‘YES, YES. TOMORROW IS FINE!’ screamed her ex’s new partner.
Her ex sent a message to her before the night out. ‘We cannot go out together, I am still in love with you and she is not even my partner. I was trying to make you jealous but I can’t go on, just give me a chance.’
She called him back and started laughing, ‘You haven’t even changed, huh? Honey, I am really sorry for what you are going through but you are going to keep living this nightmare. I really love my man and I finally found what true love feels like. I am sorry and I hope the best for you.’ And she hung up.”
31. He Wanted To Have A Sewer Mouth
“I once had this man, who was a complete jerk. He would go out every Friday and Saturday night with his friends, while I stayed at home. That’s not the really bad part. He would come home and be so wasted he could barely stand. But let me tell you his mouth was working just fine. He would start to accuse me of messing around on him, call me all kinds of dirty names, and in general make a jerk out of himself.
Eventually, I got sick of this (go figure) and moved out. But before I did, I took his toothbrush and cleaned the entire toilet bowl with it. Even the gross stuff under the rim. Then I put it back in the toothbrush holder.
I figured if he wanted to have a sewer mouth, I would help him out. To this day, every time I think of him brushing his teeth with that toothbrush, I laugh. And gag a little.”
30. She Made His Life Miserable Like He Made Hers
“This was back in the 11th grade. In one of his classes, there was a girl from China, she was an exchange student and he picked on her all year. Just because she was from China he made her life miserable. He’d say stereotypical things and such about her out loud in class, often bringing her to tears. He got in trouble sometimes but nothing more than detention on rare occasions.
With only one week left in the school year, he made a rude comment about her. The teacher made him go out in the hall and apologize to her. When they stepped outside he started to apologize, but she took action. She kicked him in the nuts, and he bent over in severe pain and she started hitting him on the back and he fell to the ground where she stomped him a couple of times.
The teacher heard the noise and opened the door to see what happened. The whole class saw and laughed that he got beat up by this little girl. The teacher didn’t get her in trouble either because she knew how he treated her all year.
In about an hour it was all over school. Everyone made fun of him. No one would sit with him at lunch. The whole last week people called him Samurai Boy.”
29. We Gifted His Manager A Special Chair
“My friend Gerry worked for an industrial compressor firm as a mechanic. Their headquarters had the offices in front and the shop in the back of the building. He had recently hurt his knee and standing was kinda painful. He was working on a small intricate part and his knee was throbbing, so he sat on his workbench to do the job. As his general manager walked past he told him to stop sitting down on the job.
That he had to stand to work. Gerry replied something along the lines of ‘all of you in the office sit and work all day.’ The GM wasn’t having any of that, said it was different for sales and admin. Gerry unhappily got off the bench and stood the rest of the day.
We were roommates at the time and when he got home he was fuming and pondering how to get back at the boss.
We discussed a few things but he wanted to do something to his boss’s chair. That weekend he set the plan in motion. The first thing he did was to justify needing to be in the shop on Saturday when no one would be there, which was easy enough to do. I went with him to help and because it was an old shop there were no cameras inside to worry about.
His boss had a real nice, new leather executive chair. Gerry took the swivel base apart in a few minutes and we jammed as many raw shrimp into the inside of the chairs as we could, and then put it back together, and cleaned up. Then he took every single chair out of the office and put them at the back of the shop because he said if he couldn’t sit and work they can give it a try too.
On Monday his boss rightly suspected that Gerry had moved all the chairs and caught some trouble. For the first few days, he came home and I would ask if his boss had figured out what else he had done. He told me nothing was happening. Well, revenge is best served cold. It took until the following Monday for the boss to notice a smell. He searched for days.
Looking all over his office, bringing in his assistant and others to confirm there was a smell and to help find the source. By the beginning of the 3rd week, it was really bad and he realized that it was the chair. He threw the chair away and had to buy another $1200 chair. The GM never figured out it was Gerry that did that to his chair. So he got away with it.”
28. He Got Divorced And Lost His Home
“For a very short while I was actually in the P.I. business. I had two cases and you can choose which was more brutal. The first involves a very sweet young librarian who came in with an older friend who had some experience with a two-timing husband. I sat down with them and she said she did not believe her husband had ever been unfaithful before but she said that the next day she was sure he was going to meet a woman he had met when they attended a wedding.
I explained that our fee was $1,500 for the first 8 hours and $150 an hour after that plus expenses. Fairly expensive for the 1980s but we tried to discourage wasting our time.
She hired us immediately with the condition that we call her the minute he was nailed, which we agreed to do. We started surveillance at 8 AM after she went to work. He ran a couple of errands, was off Birmingham about 60 minutes away, and went straight to a big shopping mall.
We were running a 2 man surveillance so one got out and went in the upper level and watched the guy hang around a particular area until he met up with an unknown female. They watched them walk around the mall sometimes being overly friendly but nothing we could accuse him of. Then they left and went to a pharmacy where the guy bought a large bottle of wine.
They then went to a motel and he registered for a room. Once in the room, he was observed closing the curtains. At this point, they called me and I called the wife. She asked if we would continue to watch then. In the space of about two hours, she had opened a new banking account in her name only and transferred every dime they had in their joint chequing account and savings accounts into her account and canceled all of their credit cards.
She had a locksmith change all of the locks on their home and had movers move everything that was his from the house and put it on the street. She notified the police that she was divorcing him and was getting an injunction against him even being on the street where she currently lives. She had divorce papers drawn up and prepared for us to serve on him the minute he arrived home along with the portion order.
So this guy gets back from Birmingham and we met him and served the papers, the police served the protection order, and an order to remove his stuff from the street. All of his credit cards are canceled and the only funds he has access to are just what he has in his pocket. His car is seized because it was now in her name and he had to call someone to help him move all of his stuff.
The other one is similar except it was a doctor who took a nurse on an out-of-town trip. When we found and verified their cars in the long-term parking at the airport we notified the wife. She promptly showed up and slashed all tires. We met him as he arrived back and served him with divorce papers and an injunction kicking him out of his million-dollar home. Still pretty bad.”
27. He Lost Respect Because Of A Canceled Formal Event
“My school principal was an arrogant show-off who kept harassing me because of a disability I have while making out he was so good ‘putting up with me’.
After 2 yrs of this nonsense, I was so fed up.
The final straw came when he said I couldn’t go to my end-of-year formal. His reason was because of bad behavior. When I asked him why he named an event that I had already been punished for…
So I had had enough. My dress had cost 200 bucks and was nonrefundable. So I got the phone and found the address of the formal. I then rang up pretending to be my school principal and canceled the booking and said they could keep the payment. I also provided a school fax (faked).
Since the formal was near my house I hid to watch everyone go in all dressed up only to find the formal was canceled. The owner said the principal had canceled it. Since he was coming late they all blamed him and his office was bombarded with angry complaints. He couldn’t figure out what was going on.
He lost a lot of respect. He deserved it.”
26. He Works As An Ambulance Chaser Now
“I’m a lawyer for a top 7 law firm in Florida. I had just graduated from law school and it was the day of taking my bar exam. This guy Peter and I just didn’t get along. He always scored the highest on all the school exams and was always bragging about how he was the smartest soon-to-be lawyer there was. After 3 years of law school and 1 year of the graduate program, I was just about fed up with his smack.
So the day of the Florida Bar Exam, instead of actually putting sugar in his tank, (because believe it or not, it is illegal to pour sugar in the tank of an automobile, it falls under the destruction of personal property) I took the sugar, and with a little bit of glue, placed sugar from his gas tank on down the side of the car, so it gave the impression of sugar being in the tank.
Well, when Peter went to get into his car he noticed the sugar, and instead of risking ruining the engine, he had to call a tow truck and have the truck tow his car to a garage.
By the time he and the mechanic realized that there wasn’t any sugar in the engine, he missed the exam and ended up having to take it 4 months later. By then I was given the job at the law firm we both wanted so bad, and I do believe he’s working as ambulance chaser now.”
25. Enjoy Checking The More Expensive Place
“Yesterday my significant other and I were on an urgent last-minute hunt for rain boots. We were going to take my significant other’s kid brother to the Pumpkin Patch, but unfortunately, it had been POURING with rain for the past 2 days.
So, we head to the local Kroger, we search and search – until we find the minuscule selection. They had 4 pairs in adult sizes, each costing $50/per pair.
Obviously, that’s a pretty terrible selection, so we take our urgent last-minute hunt to Walmart.
We find the rain boot selection, and while pretty dismal – there are FAR more options than at Kroger. We’re sitting down trying on some pairs when an obnoxiously loud woman is heard circling our location.
Loud woman: God, now where are these RAIN BOOTS, this store is such TRASH.
Her entourage mumbles general agreement as they continue to loudly complain in the vicinity.
Eventually, Loud Woman manages to find the rain boots, immediately glaring at me and my partner sitting down in front of the selection with a couple of pairs set aside.
Loud Woman: Hmmmph, never mind (glares at us for daring to exist in front of the items she wishes to look at) this store’s far too busy for such overpriced rain boots.
(They were $14/pair)
Loud woman: You know what? I think Kroger always has rain boots on hand. Let’s go there instead.
The petty revenge?
I said nothing, enjoy your 10-minute drive to a store with even worse options than what you’re complaining about.
I hope she had to go to an even further away store. Would’ve warned her had she not been a jerk.”
24. We Learned How To Make Advertising Posters
“I went to a small high school and one of the most popular girls in school had parties on a regular basis. I didn’t make the cheerleading squad because of her. Even though I knew the routine better than any of the other girls. I even helped a lot of them with it. I was a freshman and she was a senior and at this small school, the seniors chose who did and didn’t make the squad.
And since she was the MOST POPULAR she had the deciding vote (everyone else voted how she did). I was in the band with her and we were even in the same plays. I’m not quite sure why she didn’t like me, we never got into any fights and I never did anything to her.
Well, She decided to have a party to end all parties. She invited everyone who was in the play to the party on a day when she knew that I couldn’t be there.
Then in the band, she was talking to people behind my back, inviting them. I mean literally talking to them behind my back, she sat next to me. I was the second chair (meaning that I was the second-best player) and she was the third chair. I didn’t like this girl and wouldn’t have come to her party anyway, but the way she did it made me so mad.
So after talking it over with my sister who was in her grade we decided to play a little joke on her.
We sat up all night before her party making ‘advertising posters’. Keep in mind that since her parents were going to be away for the whole weekend and she lived in a nice house with a pool and lots of extras that she was going to be having fun all weekend long! I stress the word WAS.
I wrote the posters on regular white paper. Oh about 40 of them. Advertising that there would be beer, illegal substances, and unbelievable fun under the sun! We made up cute little slogans, I have never had so much fun in all my life!
The next day I went into school early, something I never did. I put tape on a few at a time and then nonchalantly walked around the school and popped them on the wall as I was walking, so as not to be noticed.
I put them on the mirrors of all of the bathrooms including the boys. There were three of them in a mirror that this girl was looking at making sure she was as beautiful as she knew she was. She didn’t even notice them. One of her friends had to point them out to her. Meanwhile, I acted normal and never said a word about it to anyone.
It was the talk of the school.
In band, she was talking about them and asked me if I knew anyone who would do something that low. She even showed them all to me. I looked thru them with a shocked look on my face trying my best not to laugh my butt off. I told her I couldn’t imagine who would even want to do something like that to her. She had to cancel her party and stay away from her house all weekend long!!! Whenever I think back to that day, it amazes me that I didn’t get caught and gives me a good laugh.”
23. He Lost Everything He Used To Get Women
“I knew a man in his thirties who would constantly pursue women making them think that he wanted marriage, getting ‘one thing’, and then dumping them. While this might be normal behavior for a very young guy, this guy admittedly did this from the ages of twenty and onward. Some of these women were scarred after long-term relations in which he heavily played the marriage card, others were just annoyed, etc.
Yet, he kept all of their information in order to go back to any one of them whenever if he turned 40 and was still single.
Well, he is 40, and most of the girls that he played are married or simply want nothing to do with him. He even tried to get me and I was only his platonic friend (and in a relationship that started soon after he insulted me one day and called me ugly but took it back when he realized I was out of reach… too late).
He also bragged that he could always use his career to get women, but his career has stalled. He is 40 and still close to entry-level. His jerkiness prevents him from getting other positions.
Basically, after years of using women, all of his plans to get one have failed.”
22. It's My Pleasure To Send Out The Checks To The Siblings
“I used to do the administration for a number of company pension schemes. The companies themselves deal with the members and I dealt with the companies.
One particular company was very supportive of its workers and knew their family backgrounds well. One middle-aged gentleman, I shall call George, had never had a relationship and lived alone but was always kind and generous to family and friends. He met a woman, I shall call Lucy, with 3 young children who had been made homeless by her ex-husband.
He immediately offered a roof over their heads because of the children.
As time went on Lucy started a relationship with George and insisted they got married for the sake of the children. George’s friends and family tried to dissuade him as they had heard rumors about Lucy that showed her in a most unpleasant light such as the children had different fathers none of whom was the ex-husband.
George went ahead to provide security to the children.
After 6 months Lucy changed the locks on the house and left George’s possessions on the doorstep. His friends and family rallied around to help him out. George hoped to sort things out with Lucy so didn’t start divorce proceedings. Lucy had all the paperwork she needed to sell George’s house and move over 100 miles away to start again leaving George with nothing but a broken heart.
George developed cancer and within 6 months he had died. Suddenly Lucy reappeared demanding to receive the death in service benefits of a lump sum and a monthly pension.
This is where the revenge comes in.
The Trustees of the pension scheme have the final say as to who gets what of the benefits. Only a certain portion of the pension must go to the bereaved spouse. The Trustees were fully aware of the background and wanted to ensure that as little as possible went to Lucy.
One of George’s siblings produced a form stating that the lump sum should be divided equally between all the siblings. There was a slight question mark over whether George had filled it in and signed it but the Trustees gratefully accepted it as valid. The Trustees also declined to pay the balance of the pension to Lucy.
Needless to say, Lucy was incensed that she was denied the money she felt she was due. All parties stood their ground and provided her solicitor with the legal documentation of the scheme to prove she had no right to anything more.”
21. Football Players Had To Clean The Lockers
“I went to school in a small town in Texas and always stood out. I was one of those who always wore black, later to become an English major kid, in a school where big hair and football rule. Well, subsequently I was a target for a lot of abuse. My friends were like me and were also teased, harassed, etc… We all spent a lot of energy trying to ignore this stuff but one day it went too far and we could no longer ignore it.
My best friend in high school was a lesbian and she had always gotten it the worst. One morning she came to school in tears and told us her parent’s house had been vandalized. They had spray painted the driveway of the house, even her mother’s car, with cruel and derogatory slurs. Fortunately, the boys that did it weren’t smart enough to keep it a secret.
The quarterback of our high school football team came up to us and asked if we had seen any good artwork lately. The group of jocks with him began laughing hysterically. We tried to get help from the school and we even told the police but were told ‘you didn’t actually see them do it with your own eyes did you?’ So we gathered together a group of kids picked on by these jerks, you know band kids, science club members, etc..
and gave them each a name of a football player involved (and the list turned out to be about 10!) and told them to get their locker number and give it to us.
A couple of days later we had the info. I and my friend I (whose house had been vandalized) skipped class and went to every locker, permanent marker in hand. Did I mention the football team hadn’t exactly been successful that year? You should have seen the looks on their faces as they desperately tried to scrub the 0-7 off their lockers. Or when a group of us attended the football game and started chanting 0 AND 7 over and over again. We got tossed out for the chant but it was worth it.”
20. She'll Probably Have To Live In The Car
“In high school, I was not that popular with the ‘in’ crowd, but I had my own friends and had a good time. There was one girl that I really couldn’t stand. I actually dreaded seeing her. She was a little rich jerk. I, on the other hand, was kind of poor. I didn’t hate her because she had money, I hated her because she would always make fun of me for being poor.
My revenge on her came completely out of the blue. It was pure luck.
My class had just graduated and it was one of those ‘end of the year’ beer parties that everyone in the class went to. This party was at a kid’s house in a decent neighborhood. In order to keep the cops from knowing which house the party was at, we parked all over different streets.
When I showed up at the party, I was a couple of hours late. I walked by a car with a girl passed out in the passenger side of a car. Looking in the car, I noticed it was the rich girl that had been harassing me for years. My time for revenge had come!
I found a couple of my guy friends that I knew liked to do crazy things at the party.
I told them the situation and they were down to help me out. I drove them to the grocery store, and we bought a bunch of saran wrap. We then got back to the car with my least favorite person passed out in the passenger seat. The next five minutes were spent wrapping up the car with her in it! I never heard what happened when she woke up, but I can imagine! And think, it was all pure luck… and some creativity!”
19. They Got Me So I Got Them
“Back in 2007, I used to work at a construction company (I could write a few stories on the banter too) in the UK. One day two of the lads start going on about how tasty ‘truffle butter’ is. They both know that I am always into trying new interesting foods. I asked where they got it from. The local supermarket, in the specialty section, they have some specialized foods from all over the world.
That day, I get off work and go down to the local supermarket to get some stuff and ‘truffle butter’, just got to try this stuff. Could not find it. Asked a shop assistant, he said maybe at Xmas time, but they don’t seem to remember selling anything like that.
It clicks with me that it might be a bit of a windup. If you don’t know what ‘truffle butter’ is, I don’t think you want to know.
I get home do a quick search for the term and yeah it was them pranking me.
So the next day, I don’t say anything, I don’t want them to click that revenge may come. They are all into fishing on the weekends. But they are also all into English Premier League, being die-hard supporters with their favorite teams. What if you could watch EPL (English Premier League) on TV and fish at the same time (if you can remember broadband was mostly not really available and no smartphone in 2007).
So I mentioned to one of my co-workers (not of truffle butter pranksters), that he should talk about his ‘gas TV’ he bought last weekend. How he watched his favorite EPL team while fishing and drinking beer. And to really play it up how good the picture actually was, not always crystal clear but good. And where he got it from.
They both came into work the following day asking if I had set them up as revenge for the ‘truffle butter’. We all exchanged stories of walking round respective retailers looking for mythical gold.”
18. Toxic Couple Wanted To Drag Me Into Their Mess
“I worked for this couple at a restaurant/lounge years ago. They both worked there pretty much day and night. They made me their manager. I was close with his wife and she told me most of their dirty laundry. After they split the husband told me his side to everything. She was quite bubbly and pretty w/ personality plus. He was also very handsome. They were in their early 30s.
As time went by they started to fight a lot till both were miserable with each other and had major burnout from the restaurant life. There were many salesmen, truck delivery drivers, beer and liquor salesmen, and deliveries coming daily and weekly, etc.
Well, she started an affair with one of the delivery drivers and it went on for over a year. She told me up under one of the drop ceiling tiles she found a suitcase full of gay men’s magazines etc.
She said they had to be her husband’s. The war continued. It becomes rough on me listening to both confide in me about the other. But the worst thing I’ve ever heard is what he had done to her when he found out about her affair.
He told me he put hot pepper juice in her soap. He thought that was great! She told me she had to go to the emergency room in horrible pain… I thought that was the worst revenge story I’d ever heard with my ears. I can’t imagine how extreme of a burn she received from that !!! They divorced of course. I said man I’ll never buy a restaurant with my husband.
Their relationship was torture. He actually wanted me to go out with him after the fact… I said oooooh nooooo. You’re my boss. But having heard all the dirt I was like, NEVER.”
17. Wealthy Man Divorced Wife, Destroying Her Life
“I watched from the sidelines as my husband’s extremely wealthy friend divorced his wife after finding out she had had an affair. I only heard his very angry and bitter side of the story and am very aware that there was her side and then the truth, also. He left his once spoilt and cosseted wife absolutely penniless with no transport, no home, nothing. She had no income and he isolated her from her family and children by spreading rumors and telling blatant lies.
For a couple of years, she moved from one friend to another and was reduced to an insecure, homeless person looking for a job, any job, with no work experience, whatsoever. Eventually, someone financed a lawyer on her behalf. Together, they took her husband to the cleaners and within six months, she had turned the tables on him and left him in the same situation that she had been in. Whilst it was fascinating to watch and to hear the weekly updates, it was something one only sees in the movies.”
16. She's Bad, She's Nationwide
“A while back, a friend and I were supposed to go out with a couple of other neighbor guys to go to the movies.
We waited and waited; the guys did not arrive. We checked their house, and both cars were still there. However, as these two Lotharios were avid cyclists, we assumed they left on their bicycles without us. Haha.
Not to be thwarted, we went to the theatre 3 miles down the road.
Sure enough, their 18 speeds were carefully chained up outside. Did I neglect to mention that we brought along a toolbox? Not that we ever intended to use the chainsaw, but I digress.
While everyone was inside after the show started, we got to work. Vise grips are a truly wonderful invention. We then went on home to await our men and sat on the roof for better surveillance.
Some 4 hours later, we had the satisfaction of seeing them riding their bikes quite precariously (and painfully) up the road towards home. They never did find out what happened to their bicycle seats. I often wonder if they have sired large families now.”
15. Loud Neighbors Broke Up
“This happened when I was in college back in the early ’80s. I lived in a pretty nice apartment complex that was about ten minutes off of campus. I had a corner apartment, so I was lucky to have only one neighbor. Or at least I thought I was. My one neighbor just happened to be one of the loudest people imaginable. His music was loud, and it was almost always playing.
Being a college student didn’t bother me too much at first. Eventually, I had to ask him to keep it a little quieter. However, he never would.
There was other stuff I heard too. He had a significant other that he would get intimate with about four nights a week. I could hear everything through the walls, and damn was she loud! Every now and again, I would run into his girl as she was going over to his place, and she would always act flirtatious.
I had no idea I would use this to my advantage one day.
One evening, my neighbor was blasting his music and doing the usually loud stuff when I decided that I was going to go over there and let him know how I felt. However, as I was ready to leave, I heard a loud noise and a screeching sound. I ran outside and saw a large dent in my car and his car flying out of the complex.
I was mad! I was waiting outside for this guy to come back when his girl showed up to see her man. This time I was gonna hit him where it hurts.
I started talking to his girl and she was flirting as usual. I then invited her into my place to smoke. She accepted very quickly. We went inside and one thing led to another. We ended up sleeping together, and man was she loud! In fact, while we were hooking up, my neighbor came home. He must have heard us because he promptly came outside as she was leaving. You should have seen his face.
It never really got quieter over at my neighbors. It actually got louder for about two weeks – if the music wasn’t on, all I would hear was he and his significant other fighting! They eventually broke up. Good enough revenge for me.”
14. Problem With Me Going The Speed Limit? I'll Go Slower
“Driving home this afternoon with my niece and son in the back seat, so I’m checking the rearview mirror more often to also check on them.
It’s 4 pm, so peak traffic, with lower speed limits in certain areas.
I’m going the speed limit of 60, we’re in a roadworks area on the highway. Even going this slow, I’m still overtaking cars in other lanes. I refuse to speed in roadwork areas and know this can be frustrating but I have a friend who works in road construction and they have seen many people die from people speeding through these areas.
I check the rearview a see a guy quite close. At first, I think maybe he just merged in as I was in the fastest traveling lane. He gets closer and sits right up my bum by my next rearview check. I slow down slightly to 58ish and then back to 60 hoping he’d get the point. He starts pointing at his speedometer and then at me while somehow sitting closer to my rear end.
I really want to flip him off but can’t due to the kiddles and wanting to set a proper example…
I wait to see if he will get off my bum… Nope…
I slow down to 55. He doesn’t get it and I can see him going off in my rearview. He’s so close I could read his lips if I wanted to try. I slow down further to 50 permanently…
He is getting soo angry. (we’re still passing cars in other lanes mind you. Traffic is really slow, we just happen to be in a lane that will turn off so no one really wants it)
The cherry on the cake… When he finally gets the chance to pass me, I wave really pleasantly and the kids in the back copy me, none the wiser, whilst cranky driver is going red with rage..”
13. Thank You For Letting Me Use Your Rag
“Last year, I used to live with a dirty roommate (thankfully I moved out of that place) and she was very filthy. She created the biggest mess in the bathroom. She liked to cut her hair in the bathroom like it was a barbershop and leave all of the pieces of hair on the floor, sink, and toilet. There were times when she would not flush and leave traces of brown, red, and yellow liquid on the toilet.
I have yelled at her many times to clean up after her things and she had the audacity to get angry at me. We always had screaming matches over her disgusting mess.
I was done after I found clumps of hair from her private area (yes, you know what I mean) all over the toilet seat. There were nasty stains on it as well (this was pretty typical).
She was not home when I found her dirty mess and so I decided to call and yell at her. She told me she will clean it later and if I didn’t want to wait, ‘You can clean it, yourself, with a rag’.
So I did. I used her bath towel to clean it and left the dirty towel on her desk with a post-it that said ‘thanks for letting me use your rag’.
It got pretty intense the next morning but it was worth it.”
Another User Comments:
“I lived in a shared house as employee housing for working at Yellowstone. One of my housemates had a cat that peed and pooped everywhere. Oddly she was also the most obnoxious about cleaning, despite leaving cat turds on her floor until they were white.
HR wouldn’t do anything about it, even though one of the camp hosts was very pregnant and couldn’t be around the cat pee. ‘I’ll do a room inspection.’ After getting sick of hearing that for weeks, my friends and I stripped everything out of the girl’s room, steam cleaned the carpets and arranged it exactly the way it was in the HR lobby.
The HR person moved her to a private cabin the next day.” Envoy2008
12. He Came Home To An Empty Bedroom
“In my dorm our Proctor was kind of a stick in the mud, always giving out fines for noise infractions, busting people over drinking games, little things like that.
One night he was set to go out with these 2 freshmen girls and we knew he’d be bringing back at least one to his room hoping to score. After he left we tracked down a guy from another floor who had the master key set for all the dorm rooms and he got us into the Proctor’s room.
We removed EVERYTHING from his room and locked it in a downstairs storage area. However, we did find a nice little healthy stash of adult magazines which gave us a few ideas. We plastered them everywhere, left some lying spread open on the floor.
About midnight we see him and one of the girls coming up the stairs so every guy on the floor locks themselves in their rooms, totally quiet.
We’re all listening to our doors when we heard his key turning, a bit of a pause, and then some cursing.
I’m not really sure what the girl thought of all this as none of us came out of our rooms till the next morning so that no one could be fingered specifically, but it sure was hard trying to stifle the laughs that night hehe.”
11. Drink My Creamer? Enjoy No WiFi
“I bought myself a large specialty coffee creamer a few weeks ago. Nothing fancy but a treat as I rarely drink coffee. Now, some family members have an issue taking my things and blaming each other when confronted. This leads to serious annoyance on my part as I can’t prove which one did it and thus am just out the item. If they’d ask I’d generally be fine sharing.
Now last month I bought 2 huge creamers and told two of them they could SHARE. I ended up only getting to use about 2 tablespoons of creamer from one bottle and none of the other.
So this month I put my initials clearly on top of the bottle and did not offer to share. Well, yesterday I realized it was being used, not by me so I asked in front of everyone who did it.
Of course, the 2 suspects blamed each other. Now I know it’s just coffee creamer but it’s more so the lying that gets me. So as revenge, as I pay the cable/internet I paused everyone else’s wifi access. I have been asked about 6 times now if I can call the provider and fix the issue, but I just blamed it on a current storm and said I’d call tomorrow.
I know this wasn’t exciting but damn does it feel good.”
Another User Comments:
“Dear OP, there are a number of fun examples of getting revenge on someone who steals food, what follows is an interesting one I have heard of:
Go to the grocery store and buy some food dye, in particular, yellow, as well as an extremely cheap quart size container from a generic brand (so it could be any one, buy a jar of mayonnaise, and a small package of generic and cheap banana pudding, in the middle of the night put the mayo in the container, mix the yellow food dye and pudding (with a disposable utensil) and put it in the fridge, maybe even sprinkle on some Graham crackers to make it look more realistic.
Don’t bother labeling it, it’ll end up in the “right hands” in due time.
Whoever is throwing up in the morning will 1 never steal food from you again, 2 will be audibly throwing up soon, and 3 start hating someone else and/or accuse someone of doing it, possibly start escalating anger against them. It’s not going to end well for the other awful people in your apartment as long as you claim innocence.” Empoleon_Master
10. I've Witnessed Many Terrible Breakups Over The Years
“I’ve witnessed some brutal revenge when couples decouple.
There was the lass who discovered her significant other wasn’t always playing Warhammer 40k when he said he was, so on a weekend when he was supposedly playing it at a friend’s house she went to his house and gave the mini-figures an acetone bath. It dissolved all of them.
There was the idiot who had his thesis trashed (and I mean trashed) two days before having to hand it in.
Hard copies were shredded or burned. Or both.
And the laptop containing it? it was thrown into a bath while powered on. The network share it was backed up to? It was erased as he’d shared his user ID and password. The Zip drive? It was found with a bullet hole.
This may seem excessive, but I’d imagine finding out the person you were engaged to was sleeping with other people might have tipped the scales.
So-called adult life:
The lass who shared explicit photos of herself in chatrooms online and had online affairs behind her hubby’s back? He found out and forwarded them plus the torrid conversations to her family, friends, and coworkers. Not a good look in a religious company that promotes its values.
The lad who discovered his partner of twenty years hadn’t been faithful for any of that time who spoke to her family and as a result, their prenup couldn’t be found during the divorce?
All of the above seems pretty brutal.
I get those emotions run high in breakups, I do. Trust me, I do. Smashing things could be seen as cathartic I guess? It makes you look a bit unhinged, though.
The absolute most brutal revenge I’ve witnessed though? That’d be deciding the divorce settlement wasn’t enough, so they spoke to their boss and invented a tale politely asking that the IT dept of their company never hire their ex as they’re abusive, manipulate, unhinged, violent, etc.
Said boss then calls the recruiters the company uses and says ‘never pass this person’s resume on to us, they’re abusive, etc and we do not want them’.
This goes around, through the recruiters in that field, through departments. That name becomes radioactive. Don’t hire them, don’t give them an interview, don’t even let them know why.
The idiot in that tale? They found out when job hunting. One of the recruitment agency employees let them know off the record over a coffee.”
9. My Ex Got His Revenge Alright
“We married young. We had a daughter. We built a house. And all of the financial burdens fell on me.
The pressure was intense, to say the least. I was responsible for all of it. The mortgage. Insurance on our cars. Car payments. Motorcycle payments. Tv. Phones. Lights. Food. Child care. Medical needs. Anything and everything you need in life for 3 people fell on my shoulders.
That being said, I know there are plenty of people in this position in life. I’m not complaining and am grateful I could do it at the time but it ties into everything.
What happened was my husband at the time felt like a lesser man. Even though I never made him feel that way in his mind I did. The way he thought of himself was projected onto me as my feelings about him.
And he treated me accordingly. Resentments by the truckload.
Eventually, I lost respect for him. It wasn’t because he wouldn’t help me pay the bills. It was because he was staying wasted all the time instead of helping me out where he could. I still had to have a babysitter for our daughter. On my days off he would wake me up by popping a beer can open beside my head.
I still needed him in other ways other than just financially. But it became a game of us against you out of your worst nightmares.
So, I became unfaithful. I didn’t have another relationship. It was intimacy. One time with a stranger. Had I known what was to come I would have never crossed that line.
I hated myself for it. I started having panic attacks. I couldn’t look at our daughter without crying.
I carried the guilt of 1,000 men on my shoulders. I was ashamed of myself. It went against everything I believe to be true. I had never even thought about infidelity before on any of my significant others. Never in a million years did I think I would end up here in life.
I got sick. I was working non-stop trying to make ends meet. While trying to hide the intense self-loathing I had for myself.
So my body said no more. I got pneumonia. I went to the Dr as we do and he prescribed me medication as they do. Tussionex. Cough medicine. Liquid demon in a little bottle.
I took my medications as prescribed. I took that cough medication when I needed it. The heavens opened up and the sun shone on my face. Angels sang just for me. The guilt I was feeling went away.
The pressure of everything on me I didn’t feel. It was amazing. And the beginning of the end.
Surprise. I became an addict. Let me say this. The pressure on me before was nothing compared to the pressure on me now. The guilt and self-loathing I had before was a walk in the park compared to what I felt about myself now. Hatred is an understatement.
I used to sit in the parking lot of stores and watch people walk in.
And I would wish that I was them. If they looked even remotely like they had their life together I would pray to change positions with them. I knew nothing about these people. Most of them probably had it a lot worse in life than I did. But I was young and dumb then too.
I began to fall behind on things financially. The mortgage payment fell behind.
It had become obvious to a lot of people that something was wrong with me. And I felt like my husband and little girl were better off without me.
So I walked out on them. I left with the clothes on my back and nothing more. I believed in my heart that I didn’t deserve them. And maybe I didn’t.
We divorced and he got full custody of our daughter.
The house. Everything. I said very little during the process. I took all of the shame and blame with me when we divorced. It fueled a lot of fires for years to come.
Our story doesn’t end here by a long shot. I wish it did in ways but I wouldn’t have my son if that were true. But what was to come in my life made everything else pale in comparison.
I only had minor problems up to this point in life. What seemed like insurmountable mountains at the time were molehills compared to what was to come.
I will end my story here. I hope I don’t come across as a poor, pitiful me. That is not my intention at all. I hurt my ex and our daughter in ways that I can’t bear to admit on most days. And I was and am sincerely sorry for my actions.
The brutal revenge was on me. With the support of people everywhere. Everybody hates a liar, don’t they? And people most certainly hate addicts.”
8. He Had Given Nothing, He Had Offered Nothing
“I can only speak for myself and my own life with my ex. I would say that anything I did he’d find ways to either compete with me or if he couldn’t then he’d find ways to tear down anything that showed I did something well or something nice for someone else. One year for example I used enough coupons and found sales to make 30 Xmas bags for several others who might not have had any Xmas otherwise.
Each person was given a bag full of personal items that normally would have cost quite a bit but ended up not being so. His remarks to me when I said how many I’d gotten together was hatefully telling me just how ridiculous it was. However, when we went and delivered them I just smiled as he sat there and watched their happy faces.
He had our son complain to me that his Dad said I always cook the same thing over and over.
So I went to the Bookstore and brought a couple of cookbooks and started adding to the meals I knew how to cook. I would rotate out the meals every 30 days which means I only cooked the same meal once a month. I just smiled when his family came to visit and would not stop bragging about the meals I’d put in front of them.
When he would get sick or had a few surgeries he was treated like a king. He would sit in the chair while meals were brought to him every day for a week or so.
I didn’t say much about the treatment I got when he was needed to step up to the plate and be there for me.
I did not say much when he actually took me to a nice resort place in INDIANA and they actually thought I was the other woman cause he had been there so many times with his blankie, blank (Mary).
I would just smile when they figured out not only was I the wife, but as he told me while we were leaving they had asked him to never come back again. He declined to tell me why. But I knew why because of the off-handed way they acted toward me until I gave them my card to pay for something which of course had the same last name.
They had tried to run his card but it didn’t work. It did but they hid that fact and used it as an excuse to get mine and look at my name.
When he walked out the door to follow his heart (totally different woman this time) I smiled cause I knew what was coming.
The part that made it the best was he could not believe or understand why I did not once, come running after him, begging him to come back to me.
Telling him I needed him or I missed him. He just could not get it through his head as he thought he was the King in his Castle because no matter what nonsense he’d try to pull on me I’d find a way to rise above it. Yes, I continued as always during our 33 years of marriage to take my responsibilities seriously. I’d put food on the table, keep the house clean, work either a part-time or full-time job in the process.
But still, he could not understand why I wasn’t crying after him, begging him to come home. I mean I had taken all his nonsense in spades so he continued to believe he was the King in the household and if while I had so many times continued doing what a wife would do while being treated so very badly then why weren’t the tears falling down my face? Why wasn’t I calling him minute after minute for him to return to his thrown?
Why? Because even though I took care of what I was supposed to, even though he was never there for me, even when they thought I might have cancer, even though in that same time frame he told me in front of our 14-year-old son that I was to move from our home where he could move into my place, at our home, his (blankie, blank Mary) while telling me he would give me 300 dollars a month to live on when at that time I had no income of my own, but continued to take care of my responsibilities, he could not understand why I could have cared less when he left.
Why I never called after him to come home. I never took any time to call and connect to see how he was doing or if he needed me.
This is why when I would go outside to mow the yard he’d have a neighbor call him and he’d fly over and stand on the porch staring at me (very creepy might I add) cause it was his way of saying “here I am come running after me”.
I would see his car pull in and out of the corner of my eyes, and see him on the porch standing there waiting for me to come ask him to come back. I wouldn’t even make eye contact, I would just keep moving! Nothing to see there.
Even the first day of court he’d walked all the way down the hallway and sit down where he’d be in my eyesight as if saying, aren’t you going to cry over me? While in court he’d answer a question like he wasn’t sure then in watching the tape you could see him looking at me to answer for him as he knew he gave the wrong answer and expected me to jump in.
I don’t believe to date he has figured out why time after time I didn’t reach out for him to come back, to come home and be there for me.
The truth is because the only one he was ever there for was himself. The only one being cared for was him. I didn’t need or want him because he had nothing in the relationship to give.
No comfort, no concern, no emotional support, nothing! He was so used to being NO 1 and taking and taking thinking he was the King in his castle that he could not figure it out.
Why isn’t she in pieces over me? I was treated like a king! The reason no one cared is that he was NO King in my eyes, he was nothing in my eyes, I was just fulfilling my responsibilities and that was all.
So when he left he didn’t take anything nor did he leave anything behind. The reason for that was he had given nothing, had offered nothing, so there wasn’t an oz of loss for me.
I suppose what I’m saying is he will probably wonder for the rest of his miserable life why he didn’t get from me heartache over losing him, why no tears, not one, why did I continue doing what a wife would do no matter what?
Because I can say I did.
He has nothing to say that’s true, nothing to say he even measured up to being a decent man or a decent husband or father. But I can say I did what a wife was supposed to do.
So after all those years of thinking that he’s the King in my world maybe by now he’s realized he’s gone too far, stepped on too many others too many times. And he’s just not wanted. He has nothing to offer, he’s got no one to cry over him.
And that’s my revenge for him to realize if you want to be a King you’d better make sure the one backing you is your Queen and your best bet is to always make sure you treat her accordingly.”
7. His Car Reeks Of Deer Urine
“I and a friend of mine had a friend that we really had grown very wary of. It was nothing he did specifically other than constantly being a jerk. I mean all the time in the worst ways. We had enough.
He had a crush on a girl that lived near my other friend and had finally scored a night out with her, and he never ever went out with anyone before.
He had to park on the street and it wasn’t in good view of the house. My friend’s Father hunts, and he got a full bottle of deer urine. Trust me, it is the strongest worst smelling thing ever. Just a few drops will smell for days.
Knowing he’d leave his door unlocked, we went to the truck and we poured a whole bottle, like 6 ounces, all over his seat and floor, and then got away.
It was rather hot and the windows were up so it had to have made it stronger. They didn’t come back out for like an hour. We were patiently watching from a distance. We couldn’t really hear them but it was a good sight. He got really mad and made a fool out of himself.
He told us what happened and threatened to get rid of whoever did it. He never found out. It was the funniest thing I’ve ever seen, and it completely ruined his chances with this girl. It was sweet revenge.”
6. She Got Custody Of His Dog
“A man got divorced, I knew of him but was not really a friend but a distant acquaintance. She got everything. The funds and property she was rewarded were small compared to her getting sole custody of his two young children. Men do care about their kids as much as women do and this man was intensely interested and loving of his children.
She could not let that hurt be the final pain though.
She got custody of his dog. This dog was a dog he raised from a 7-week old pup into a well-disciplined, enthusiastic companion. The pup bonded with him. When he went out for long periods of time like on an overnight trip, the dog would quietly sit voluntarily in its cage and whimper until he returned. She took this dog away from him. A dog she could care less about and often complained to him about the dog shedding or being smelly after a romp in the woods.
This vindictiveness is not deserved. It does not matter what the man did. This is brutal. The final state of this man was sad. He was broke, alone, and torn up emotionally because, he lost his beautiful wife, his lovely young kids, his dog, his house, and his car. A lot more was involved that was taken from him than that though. How bad a man must you be to have this happen to you?”
5. She's Got A Different Kind Of Jam
“I’m still in high school, which sucks. But what sucks more is that I have a teacher that’s practically Satan. My history teacher is a real… witch. She gives us a lot of busywork, she’s rude to everybody, and we have to do stupid assignments that take three hours to do (no kidding), and then she’ll take fifteen points off your paper for not putting the title on it, stuff like that.
I live in Kansas, so there’s not much to do, so my class sat around thinking up ways to torture this teacher. (She likes to leave the room for thirty minutes at a time – we don’t know where she goes or what she does, and none of us want to know).
We started taking things off her desk – small things, her post-it notes, things like that, and hiding them around the room in stupid places you would never put things.
Like we hung her keys on the American flag and she spent twenty minutes looking for them when they were right in front of her face. Then one of the boys suggested that we put her things in places where she couldn’t find them… she used to write all these notes for lectures in our class in this little green notebook. So one of the tallest people in the class waited until she left for half the class period, got up on a chair, moved a ceiling tile just enough to shove the notebook up into the ceiling, then replaced the tile.
She never found it and went just about crazy looking for it. From then on, the game has been ‘shove it up into the ceiling’. She passed out a stack of detentions to our class (for misbehavior) and when we had signed them she took them up and put them in her grade book. Of course, all of us pretended not to know where she put them, looking around the room, etc.
She made a big deal out of making it a secret where she put them. Once she left for her daily excursion, we stuck them in the ceiling.
The trick is to not put anything heavy on the tile, otherwise, it’ll cave and the teacher will automatically become suspicious.
The icing on the cake was one week where she was particularly mean to us. She made us write three different essays in one week on battles in the Civil War and the importance of them, etc.
And we had a project due that week on Gettysburg and we had to recite the Gettysburg Address the next week, so we all were busy with that too. So we really decided to do something that would make her look stupid.
Our teacher is a coordinator for a bunch of various groups in school, so a lot of teachers come in there at the beginning of the period when they know she’s going to be there.
One girl brought this really small, light handheld radio and turned it to a really low volume, but would only be heard by our teacher if she sits down at her desk. It’s at the far side of the room and she never talks to the teachers who come by her room when she’s over there. This girl got the extra long-life batteries and tuned the radio to a salsa-type station where it was this annoying ballroom/tango dance music and put it in the tile above the teacher’s desk.
From then on, periodically, our teacher looks up from her desk and says, ‘Does anyone hear that music? It’s driving me crazy! Where’s it coming from!’ And when teachers come in the room she gets up and asks them if they can hear the music too…
The whole faculty at our school thinks she’s a raving lunatic now because the music irritates her so much she brings it up to them all the time in meetings. They haven’t done anything about it because they think she’s crazy. And all teachers have a performance review every year, and somehow, I think hers might not be so satisfactory next time around… heh heh heh…”
4. She Thought She's Being A Bad Girl But She's Just A Loser
“My best friend and I had gotten into a horrid fight. She was mad at me because I was a bad influence and I ‘do bad things’. It was so terrible and we hated each other so much.
I was sitting on my computer one afternoon and instant messaged her pretending to be a guy. I asked her if she drinks and asked her things about her personal life.
She lied to some stranger just to impress him! It was so pathetic, I told her to meet ‘me’ (the guy) at my house for a party.
I sent her to some senior guy’s house at like 12 and she knocked on his door and said ‘So, I am here to get wasted.’ He looked at her like an idiot and told her to go home.
On Monday when we got back to school, the convo was posted all over school revealing her innermost ‘bad girl’. It was so funny because she had set this strong picture-perfect girl rep, and then she asked some strange boy to get wasted!
She was so made fun of, her parents put her in another school in a different district!”
3. Don't Respect My Decisions? I'll Change Your Cats' Names
“In the early spring, my significant other’s cat died. She was pretty devastated. The poor thing was riddled with lung cancer it seemed. And the moment it died was a pretty horrendous situation, so I’ll spare the details. Needless to say, my significant other was in a pretty bad place.
Several days later, when she started to seem more herself, she asked me how I felt about getting another cat.
(We live together, so it affects me.) I knew that she was still reeling and there’s no way she could love another cat that quickly. Also, her bank account was emptied, and credit cards maxed out from taking care of her cat through its sickness. So financially it wasn’t a great decision. And I told her that I wouldn’t mind having another cat, but just not yet.
Well, we had several arguments about it. Apparently, she had already gone and picked out TWO cats and signed up to adopt them. I wanted her to cancel but she cried, said she needed this to get through her cat’s death. I love her so much, we weren’t breaking up over this. But, I wasn’t happy that she made a decision like this without truly running it by me, and not some courtesy after she had already made up her mind.
If anything went wrong I would be paying for it.
She brought home a bonded pair. Mother and son. About 1yrs old and a tiny kitten that was just weaned off of milk. Evie and Wally.
Cue the petty revenge.
It was my intention to get them to like me more. That was the first part. The second, and better part, was the fact that I couldn’t remember their names, I honestly didn’t want to.
So I started calling them ‘Jerk’ and ‘Little Bugger’. In the beginning, just because I didn’t remember their names, but I had a eureka moment. I could teach them to respond to them. My significant other’s reactions to hearing me call them that, progressed from, ‘that’s not their names’, to ‘stop calling them that’, to ‘we need to start using their real names’, to ‘WE have to stop calling them that.’ In fact, now she has a hard time remembering their original names.
So, while at first, they liked me more, they like us about the same now. However, 6 months later, the fact that my significant other refers to them by the terrible names that I gave them makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside and makes me feel even for the way their adoption played out. In the end, she even admitted I was right about holding out on the adoption because she wasn’t ready. But today she’s happy and they’re happy and I’m happy.”
2. I Baked A Chocolate Cake For Her
“In high school, everyone thinks that the man they are going out with is the love of their life and the best friend is forever, NOT.
My so-called best friend was sleeping with my significant other behind my back. The pain was so deep and I couldn’t really do anything to pay both of them back and make it go away. After both of them denied it, I finally caught them.
I said forgive and forget.
I baked a chocolate cake for her birthday 3 months later, and gave it to her at work, a restaurant she worked at right up the road from where I worked. It was filled with chocolate ex-lax, and she shared it with everyone that worked there. In the middle of the lunch rush, everyone had the runs, fighting for the bathroom, pooping all over themselves.
It was sweet revenge until the older ladies got taken to the hospital because of dehydration.
I got 6-month probation for that and dropped the guy; it shattered his world to this day 15 years later. It was worth every minute spent on probation. My former bestie paid for the cost of his new windshield wipers. It’s amazing what mothballs in a gas tank will do. There is no trace and it’s like a sickness. Once it’s infected you spend so much fixing it, and every time you put a new part on it and you crank your car it breaks again.”
1. Be A Menace In The Neighborhood? I'll Snitch On You
“I had a teenaged neighbor who used to babysit for my husband and me until I found she was doing illegal stuff. When we found this out we no longer asked her to babysit. I told a neighbor friend who told her mother. When her mother came asking I told her yes, I believed her daughter was doing illegal stuff. Apparently, this upset her daughter.
My husband’s car was smeared with peanut butter and my car was keyed.
We also received about 10 prank calls a day. Well, I got really upset when I started hearing she was spreading rumors. I tried to warn her but she would not listen so she had to learn the hard way. I would call every day at her job claiming to be her mother and ask for her. Had several friends claim they saw her spit in someone’s food.
(She worked in a large fast-food chain.) She wound up fired.
I then spread the rumor that the reason she no longer babysat was that my husband and I caught her making out with a female friend in our house. Someone (I wonder who) left tire tacks under her car tires. And every time I saw her out of school I would call her school and let them know she was cutting. I also hooked up my video camera and caught her on tape keying my husband’s car. She paid dearly. I also caught her on film making out with another boy and sent a copy to her significant other.
Needless to say, I won and we haven’t heard from her since.”