People Want To Know The Verdict In Their "Am I The Jerk?" Stories

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Let's admit it. We can't be kind at all times. There will always be people who will test our patience until we get trapped between two choices - do the right thing or do the good thing. If we fail to do the "good" thing, people are quick to label us as "jerks". Here are some stories from people who are wondering if they have been jerks at least once in their lives. Read on and let us know who you think the jerk is. AITJ = Am I the jerk? NTJ = Not the jerk WIBTJ = Would I be the jerk? YTJ = You're the jerk

17. AITJ For Leaving My Partner's Brother On The Side Of The Road?

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“Not long ago, I (F21) was in the car with my partner (M25) who I’ll call ‘Rick’ and his older brother (M27) who I’ll call ‘Jay’. I was the one driving and owner of the car. Rick is sitting in the passenger seat next to me and Jay is in the back. I had agreed to give Jay a ride somewhere since he has no car or license, and Rick had tagged along.

Everything was going fine until I drove up to a red light. We’re sitting there when Jay notices a woman walking on the sidewalk, who he proceeds to start cat-calling. Yelling things like ‘hey hot girl, nice butt, come over here’ etc, and whistling at her. This immediately made me annoyed, since I can’t stand when guys talk to me or other women this way. It’s degrading and obviously making the woman uncomfortable.

So I told Jay I wasn’t going to have cat-calling happening from my car. Either he can stop right away or get out and find another ride. He starts arguing that he’s allowed to say what he wants and women like to be complimented anyway. We went back and forth for a little bit when finally I just pulled over and told him to get out of the car, and since he wants to harass someone so badly then he can do it from the sidewalk but not my back seat.

Then I drove off. I didn’t just leave him stranded, as he had a phone and money. But Rick was upset, saying I went too far and that kicking him out of the car was petty. He didn’t really talk to me the rest of the drive home. Jay is still angry and hasn’t talked to me since, and he’s telling his family about what a jerk I am for ditching him.

Most of them have taken his side and say I am in the wrong for overreacting but I don’t think so. AITJ?”

Another User Comments:
“NTJ! Thank you for standing up to him and making that woman feel like someone cares. It’s disgusting that he didn’t immediately realize that what he was doing was inappropriate after being told it was – I promise you no woman likes to be complimented that way.

You’re responsible for everyone in your vehicle and I think you made the right choice. Family sounds like they suck and you may need to take a deeper dive into that relationship tho.” diosmionomejodas

Another User Comments:
“NTJ and also if you want to be petty then I suggest you do the same when you’re with his family / some family friends you don’t know, just ‘catcall’ the males and if your bf, his brother, or their family, have any problems with it, then tell them why they have double standards and how come their son/brother can do this to women but you can’t?

Also please consider breaking up with him if he’s okay with sitting back and watching his brother make girls uncomfortable!!” haizzyyy

Another User Comments:
“NTJ. Cat-calling and complimenting someone are NOT the same thing. You warned him what you would do if he didn’t stop, he didn’t stop and you followed through, boo for him. If his family is so supportive of these actions, maybe they should be driving him places. Also, any particular reason a 27-year-old has no car/license? (Just being nosy).” CJsMom2000

6 points (6 votes)
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SiriusLee 3 months ago
Your car, your rules. And actually, in some places, he could be cited. That little "freedom of speech" thing could get him fired and fined and blacklisted from employment and school and training programs if he's not smart enough to shut his mouth. And I guarantee you tha more women would like to see that than be catcalled...
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16. AITJ For Cooking Food With Mushrooms So My Wife Won't Eat It?

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“My (22M) wife (26F) has been eating all of the food I make every day since she got pregnant a month ago. I tried making enough for her and me. However, I’d come home to no food because she’d eat my portions too. I tried making double portions but she’d then snack on that and finish that as well. I tried ordering food for both of us after coming home (which I usually don’t because I’m vegan and vegan takeout is quite expensive where I live) but she’d still eat my food as well as her food.

I was getting more and more irritated so I added nuts in my portions and marked the container with ‘CONTAINS NUTS’ in bold. I kept my nuts containing food in the mini-fridge in my room.

I made food enough for 3 meals for her with no nuts and kept that separate in the fridge in the kitchen area. She’s allergic to nuts so she didn’t eat my portions after seeing ‘contains nuts’ written on the container.

I finally came home to some food I could eat. She was mad at me because I used her food aversion to stop her from eating my portions.

AITJ?

PS: we sleep in different rooms because I roll a lot while asleep and since she’s pregnant we did not want any accidental injuries.

Edit: I’ve tried talking to her about her eating up all of my food but she just says that I should be a man and suck it up, that she’s eating for two now and it’s my responsibility to keep her fed.

Edit 2: I also add mushrooms alternatively to the nuts since she hates the smell and texture of mushrooms.”

Another User Comments:
“NTJ. You are absolutely allowed to ingredients in YOUR food despite any reason.

After reading through your comments I have a couple of things I would like to say.

-For yourself, I recommend until you both come to a resolve, that maybe you bring food with you to work and keep it in the work fridge.

I know what kind of sucks is not being able to enjoy food in your own home but at least this way after work you can eat something.

It is important to set boundaries for yourself, even in your marriage. Sit down with her and explain to her that it is extremely disrespectful to eat your portions of food and leave you with nothing to come home with after working for 12 hours, especially after you spend time making her double or even triple portions.

I would simply tell her the next time that she eats her portions after eating her own that you will not be making her food.

Being pregnant is not a disability. She can absolutely order or cook her own food. At the very minimum, she should be able to at least order herself food.

I can sympathize with her not enjoying cooking because it was something she was forced to do as a child because my own parents forced me to cook for my siblings and me from the ages of six – until I moved out.

However, as an adult she needs to be able to cook for herself, especially if you two are having a child, she needs to be able to cook. If it’s that much of an issue I highly recommend suggesting therapy to her. Coming from somebody who was abused by my own parents, you cannot use your past as a crutch to continue bad behavior.” Either_Ad_405

Another User Comments:
“Sounds smart to me.

Just try to keep snacks she can grab along with other easy-to-grab foods after she eats all the other food minus mushroom and nuts included food. And suggest she has food delivered if places will deliver. At times I will eat something after the husband goes to bed that I refuse to share with him because he was being horrid and I know he would want some.

Or not fix something for that same reason. Made a fruit salad once that he refused to eat because mandarins were in it. He didn’t like them. Didn’t occur to him to not dip any out when getting a serving. And I wasn’t going to tell him. Get testy with me if I dared to suggest leaving the mandarins alone. Sounds like if you wrote your name on your portion that she wouldn’t respect it.

You don’t sound like you are starving her.” pensaha

Another User Comments:
“NTJ.

I’m all for giving women a lot of leeways when they are pregnant because I can’t even imagine what the experience is like.

But this really has nothing to do with the pregnancy. You didn’t say she was bedridden. So she is perfectly capable of going shopping for food and cooking. There is no reason you should do all the cooking and then come home with no food.

I’m guessing this has nothing to do with her being pregnant. You shouldn’t be eating more than twice as much when you’re pregnant. If she really does need that much food something is off and she needs to see her doctor.

But it sounds like she is using her pregnancy to play some kind of passive-aggressive nonsense games with you.” Cruitire

6 points (6 votes)
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CCR123 4 months ago
Not the jerk. Just cause she's pregnant doesn't mean she can't do anything for herself. It is not your responsibility to feed her. I've had the same fight with my husband because I'm the only one that cooks when I cook enough to have left overs so I don't have to cook the next day he eats those up too.
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15. AITJ For Stopping Making First Contact With My Friend After She Had A Child?

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“So I (30F) have a friend (33F) who is a mother of a 4-year-old little boy, my friend and I was super close before she became a mother and would talk every day be it in person or online, and talk about anything and everything.

After she had her son I was happy for her, she’d wanted a kid for so long and had, had a miscarriage before him so I, of course, was delighted for her, but then that is when she began to change, I am not an idiot I know people change after having kids your priorities must shift, etc and she wouldn’t have the same amount of time as she once did,  so I spent the next 2 years always contacting her first to check on how she was and catch up, but she grew resentful to my childless life and whenever I tried to bring up shows, movies, and video games to her she’d snap that she had no time for ‘silly things’ like that as she was a mother now and had to take care of her kid and how that would all have to wait till he was much older and that I should ‘enjoy it while it lasted’ as once I had kids I’d never have time for those hobbies anymore.

Over time I admit I got a bit distant from her, it was hard always being the one to reach out first and then having any attempts at the conversation I made belittled as I couldn’t equally share in the talk about children… now her kid is 4 and we can easily go months at a time without talking to each other, but today she told me in a random message that it wasn’t fair how I’d stopped being her friend just because she had a child and how I was clearly a shallow person who didn’t understand how busy she was…

I was honestly shocked by this as I did but I felt burned out from always being the one chasing this friendship, I explained this to her and she insisted that how she was acting was normal and if I was any true friend I’d understand that… so… AITJ?”

Another User Comments:
“NTJ. I have multiple children and have learned how to still have time for my hobbies and friendships.

It’s not easy at the start, but it’s not fair of your friend to be resentful towards you because she hasn’t figured out her balance between being a parent and still being a person. It’s probably easier for her to feel resentful than it is to admit to herself that she is overwhelmed and having trouble navigating.

It is also not fair of her to voice her resentful feelings, passively or not, and then expect you to still want to reach out and be the one starting a conversation.

I would guess that if the conversations were more positive and inviting, having to be the one to reach out wouldn’t feel as heavy as it currently does on your shoulders. Who wants to reach out when they know the conversation is going to turn sour over what used to be normal topics? That’s uncomfortable for anyone.

You didn’t stop being her friend because she had a child.

You stopped being her friend because she started treating you poorly despite you still trying to be that friend. You do not owe her or anyone your continued friendship, especially if you’ve been treated poorly and been made to feel like you are no longer welcome or wanted. It sucks to lose a friend and to have to wonder if it’s your fault. Please remind yourself that you did your best, and unfortunately people do grow apart even when we try our hardest.” justlemmeread

Another User Comments:
“True story: my best friend/heart sister went 17? 18? years without once getting together in person.

We kept in touch the best we could by email and social media when it became a thing. Both of our lives went kerblam in different directions and it would be months, sometimes only once a year, between conversations. 4 years ago I took my niece on vacation to Knott’s and invited my heart sister, her daughter, and her 2 grandkids to join us for one of the days in the park.

It was like we hadn’t spent a minute apart. She seamlessly integrated my niece into her family and we all had a fantastic time. We haven’t seen each other in person since then, because the health crisis happened the year we were going to get together again, and since both of us are immune-compromised we’re not traveling even though we’re immune. Gods know when we’ll be able to meet up in person again, but I DO know we’ll feel nothing but happiness and love when we do.

It took me a while to learn this, but THAT’s what a good friendship looks like (for me and my circle, anyway!).” Ok_Cry_1741

Another User Comments:
“NTJ. My college roommate and I are still friends. After I had kids, We’d chat on the phone, and I told her about my kids, she told me about work, we’d get together when we could. Eventually, my kids learned to talk, and she enjoyed analyzing their speech (she is a linguist) and then they were big enough for her to be interested in them (she doesn’t love infants).

We’d go places like fairs, lace class, and the flower show, and other hobbies together, kids in tow or left home, depending. We gave each other space, tolerated each others’ needs and frustrations, and knew that the kids would get bigger. She adored reading to them when we took road trips but wasn’t interested in taking care of them. She had her own games for toddlers and elementary school kids.

Had them over to bake, but only babysat in an emergency.

Kids are now adults, and the one in college goes to her house to write papers when she is sick of studying at home. Makes my friend REALLY happy. So, yes, if both parties do the work, you can keep up a child full and child-free friendship for 35 years. But BOTH must understand that you have different priorities and be patient and understanding.

Both of you. Doesn’t sound like your friend understand you have to make a transition in your relationship.” Neenknits

Another User Comments:
“NTJ. Sounds like she was taking some of the resentment from her current situation out on you. If I had a friend that belittled me I would back off too. I was the first among my friends to have a child and I never treated them differently once I became a mom.

There were certain things they didn’t understand, like not being able to spontaneously go out at any given time, but I didn’t get upset about it. I knew that when they eventually had children they would understand. And I was right.

Motherhood changes certain aspects of you but not the core of your being. Maybe if she allowed herself the space and time to do these ‘silly things’ with you she would feel less resentful about her life.” CrochetAndKittens

Another User Comments:
“NTJ.

You didn’t deprioritize her friendship because she had kids. You deprioritized your friendship because she made it clear that she wasn’t interested in remaining friends.

Being a parent is hard and alienating and it doesn’t always leave you at your best when not all your friends are in the same boat. By that token, she probably assumed that you would always be there as a friend whom she could see when the time worked for her.

And who knows, if she was more civil and fair you might’ve been! But she belittled you, called you childish with no provocation, and lashed out at you for things that were not your fault or not in your control. You can accept not being a friend’s #1 priority anymore, but you don’t have to accept being treated like a chore/ burden. I wouldn’t even respond to her message, but I’m petty like that!” Jjustingraham

4 points (4 votes)
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Summarwine 4 months ago
No, you're NOT the jerk! Yes, priorities change, but friendship doesn't have to and obviously, her side of things did. You have nothing to be sorry for. Me, almost always having been the friend that has to have always reached out first, understand completely what you're talking about. It's very frustrating, to say the least. No matter whom it is or what it's about, I was and sometimes still am, the one that always has to reach out first. So much so, that I have completely given up on most of my friendships. I have an extremely limited friend circle and don't even reach out to many of my family anymore, either. I'm usually the 'black sheep', scapegoat, first to have to reach out or just plain ole, ALWAYS the bad guy! It's exhausting and tiresome, and I refuse to continue that way. I don't keep in touch with many any longer and all-out refuse to just 'lay down' and take it any longer. (Which still, sadly, puts me as the bad guy) :'(
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14. AITJ For Doing A Wee Bit Of Work During "Family Time"?

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“Husband and I both work outside the home. Four young kids. Been together 10+ years. His job is more rigid and mine can be flexible so anytime there’s a sick kid or something going on, I and my work absorb it. I work from home some days (I try to avoid it because it really hampers my productivity).

We’ve been fighting lately. We had a big fight the other day that I thought was actually constructive.

We have been close and affectionate since. Part of his beef is that he thinks I am a workaholic and prioritize work over the family which I would counter with the fact that I have to be scrappy in order to get enough time to do my job. He has also been pretty vocal about his dislike for my job. Our incomes are roughly equal.

His love language is quality time.

Mine is words.

Tonight I got a notification that I needed to invoice something for work. Not ideal timing, but it seemed to me that spending 5-10 minutes on my laptop wasn’t going to be a big deal because he had TikTok and the kids had a show on. Delaying invoicing can be a problem and I told my team I’d handle it today.

When I come back (seriously, it took me 5 minutes) my husband asked what I was doing and I said I needed to invoice something really quick.

He freaked and said ‘we JUST talked about this’ and I said, ‘I committed to doing it, it just took a second, and I wasn’t even missed.’

He gets mad, goes to the bedroom while the kids and I watch Ted-Ed for an hour. I come in after the kids are in bed and I apologize and say I didn’t realize something that would seem small to me would be a big deal, but I am also confused because my thing took 5 minutes and his tantrum took away our ability to be together all night.

So, a half-apology because I really just don’t feel like I did anything wrong, and I feel kind of resentful that he demands my full and undivided attention.

So, AITJ for doing a work thing at home when my husband recently told me how much that hurts his feelings?”

Another User Comments:
“NTJ. He’s perfectly fine with the flexibility of your job when you are able to handle sick kids, home improvement projects, whatever.

He doesn’t get to have his cake and eat it too. If you had the kind of job that cuts off hard at 5 pm then you wouldn’t be able to do that. The trade-off is, sometimes a 5-minute thing comes up off-hours and you do it. And maybe you did just have a fight about it, but that doesn’t mean he was right and gets to dictate that you never do any off-hours work again.” missmistryl

Another User Comments:
“NTJ.

I think people underestimate how difficult it can be to juggle a ‘flexible job’. People tend to interpret your need to do work as a personal choice rather than a professional necessity. Because if you can work anytime, why do you have to work right now? Except that’s not how most jobs work. Sometimes a thing needs doing.

I have no idea if you’re a workaholic or if your husband brings petty, but as a flexible worker who has dealt with tons of guilt for working during nights and weekends, I totally get it.” personofpaper

Another User Comments:
“NTJ.

From what I’ve read in the comments OP has said that her job flexibility allows her to handle family emergencies that her husband cannot handle with his fixed hours and PTO. She’s getting paid for the time she worked. It doesn’t happen often and her job is a bit in turmoil right now. Meaning that OP sometimes HAS to commit to working occasionally off-hours. I understand why the OP’s husband might be upset (they did just have a discussion about this topic) however that doesn’t mean he’s completely in the right.

I think OP’s husband needs to check his privilege because without this flexibility they would be in for a MUCH tougher time. Maybe take some time and just spend it just you and him? Show him that you value the partnership you two have together?” Darkingnight

Another User Comments:
“It does sound a bit like you are a workaholic.

You don’t seem to be able to set aside separate times for personal time vs business time to the point where it is negatively impacting your relationship.

That is pretty much what a workaholic is.

Why are you even getting work email notifications after hours? And why are you reading and answering them? Surely there wasn’t an actual invoice emergency that couldn’t wait till the next day. An invoice is rarely that critical and if it is actually that close to a cutoff that it can’t wait till the next morning, then it should have been done sooner, certainly before you stopped working for the day.

This is an invoice, not an actual emergency.

It isn’t about the 5 minutes, it is most likely about how often it happens and that you are putting yourself on-call 24/7 for a job that shouldn’t require that level of attentiveness.

There are times for work but then at the end of the day, you leave work at work until the next day.

Even if your workday gets broken up into parts between having to do other things, if you are jumping at every email 24/7, you are never going to be fully present for your family.

YTJ since it isn’t just the 5 minutes, it’s the bigger issue.” 7thatsanope

Another User Comments:
“NTJ. He wants to control you, and have your undivided attention at his command and his discretion… you make fairly equal income. Sounds like a passive-aggressive control tactic for dominance and possible sabotage of your career because he doesn’t like being on an equal playing ground. So he’s going to guilt, and shame you anytime you so much as pick up a 5-minute work invoice.

What would his response have been had you said, I went to the washroom and spent a few extra minutes brushing my teeth? Would he have blown up then and tantrum off to another room?

It doesn’t matter what his love language is. He does not get to control your every move. He does not get to control your work responsibilities or when or how you conduct yourself.

You agreeing to be more proactively attentive to family time does not mean at the expense of your job. Your job isn’t a hobby. It’s not optional. Your time isn’t always going to be optional either. Time to nip his baby tantrum in the bud and let him know you will not tolerate another episode like that again from him.

He wasn’t even spending quality time with you.

He watches TV and plays TikTok. That’s not quality spouse time.

You don’t have a 9 to 5. It would be one thing if you were all watching a movie together and all paying attention to it. Maybe wait until it’s over. But he wasn’t… he was only upset when he found out it was your work-related.

Accusing you of being a workaholic from men is typically code for ‘I’m insecure’. He needs to deal with that, and show you more respect.” User

3 points (3 votes)
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Nursemelly 2 months ago
NTJ, could you set aside a "date night" weekly? A full unplug where you get each other's full-attention. Maybe even get a sitter and go out sometimes. No exceptions on working/screen time.

I don't think either of you are 100% right or wrong. Just have to find a good place to meet halfway ish
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13. WIBTJ If I Want To Visit My Parents And Stay In A Hotel?

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“I (33F) have a (39F) sister that lives with my parents, while I live across the country. After almost 2 years without seeing my family due to the health crisis, I’m planning a 14 days visit around Christmas.

Well, I and my sister were never really close. She was adopted as a baby, and after 6 years, my mom got pregnant (by accident) and had me, and she never really accepted me.

My parents tried to raise us as equals, but we had really different personalities.

We both have traumas. Childhood was not easy, and sometimes I thought she hated me. We fought a lot, and both thought our parents were being unfair. She accused them of loving me more, I accused them of neglecting me and spoiling her. Looking back, I think if we have had therapy or some kind of professional orientation, things would have been better, but our parents weren’t as informed as parents are today.

I am sure she must be the one with more scars, given the different circumstances of our birth, and I have always respected that. But at the same time, she is so difficult, at some point I just stopped trying to reach out.

We grew up, and now are pretty civil, but have very different situations. She had a kid while she was very young, got married and move out, got divorced, and moved back in with our parents.

She blames our parents for everything, her lack of a job, her divorce, etc. Now, I can see their mistakes in our upbringing, but some of her accusations I consider unfair. We disagree with her treatment of our parents, and I feel sad about the whole situation.

I went to work in a different state, now I have a good financial situation, and got married to someone I love.

I make sure not to post on social media, talk to her about work stuff, or share the good news. I’m afraid she will resent me for anything, or resent my parents. I feel guilty for living far away and not helping, sometimes I feel guilty for existing. I really don’t know how to act.

Finally: I’m thinking of staying at a hotel during my hometown visit, and staying at my family’s house only during the day or for activities.

I don’t feel comfortable at our parents’ house, and every time I visit, some sort of feud happens after, where she bitterly blames them for the different situations we have now.

My husband thinks that would be worse, and now I’m on the fence. WIBTJ for avoiding the awkwardness?”

Another User Comments:
“Absolutely NTJ – You can make any kind of sleeping arrangements for being around family that make you comfortable.

I have been there in more ways than one, but what I know for sure is sleeping under the same roof as toxic family members can invite more drama than necessary to an otherwise nice visit. Keeping distance from volatile people in your life is healthy

Also… Never feel bad for existing. She has her own demons to slay and clearly isn’t inviting your help in that endeavor.

So, you just do the things that keep you happy. The holidays are for joy, not for unnecessary stress.” ImAmandaLeeroy

Another User Comments:
“I think having a hotel is a great idea. It will be important to have a safe haven you can return to. It’s actually a pretty common practice; some people just need their space. I think you are handling this very well and I wish you wouldn’t be so hard on yourself.

You have every right to visit and feel welcome and if you ever feel like they are being unfair, remove yourself from the situation and return to your private room. I hope you have a smooth trip back home.

YWNBTJ.” Grady_Pendragon

Another User Comments:
“NTJ – you could simply say you really don’t want to impose and like your privacy, while you sleep, are tired and want space and an area to refresh alone at the end of the night.

It may be awkward for them, but what’s more awkward is you being home, stuck in a house during a family feud with nowhere to go.

You’re allowed to put yourself first.” imccauley0819

Another User Comments:
“NTJ – sounds like you’re trying to avoid causing an issue, not just avoid any awkwardness.

Where you wish to stay is up to you, but as your husband points out, be ready to deal with questions about why you aren’t staying with them. If you feel you cant give it a try remotely then go for the hotel – otherwise, keep it as a backup option if things go down and go in there with good and hopeful intentions?” Kvxyo

3 points (3 votes)
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hosi 4 months ago
NTJ. You might want to consider therapy now since you weren't able to get it as a kid - it's never too late!!

You do not have the responsibility for her. Your sister has responsibility for herself. It's easy to blame your parents, and clearly there were some issues that were caused by how your parents raised you too, but your sister is an adult and makes her own decisions. As do you. You are being an adult and taking steps to spend time with your family in a more positive way. It sounds like the hotel is 100% a good thing to do.

The only negative thing is that you are also taking responsibility for your sister; you cannot control her, and her issues are not your fault. Your husband and kids are happy you exist, and realizing that you are happy to exist and have a good life would help you a lot. Very much NTJ!!
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12. AITJ For Not Changing The Office Temperature?

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“I (31F) work at a startup company with 4 other people. We have an open-air office, with 5 personal offices on the perimeter of the office space. My desk is the only one situated in the main open-air office space, dead center with all the offices facing me (I’m office manager). The thermostat is also located directly next to my desk. I’m the only person who has figured out how to work our over-complicated thermostat.

It has been a hot summer here, so I have set the temperature of the office to 73F (personally, at home, I like it at 69-70, but I know I run things cooler, so at the office, I thought 73 was appropriate). However, since my desk is in the big open area, the AC doesn’t reach me nearly as well as it does everyone else. We have 12′ ceilings, and the open area is the size of like 4 offices, so for me, the office temperature is closer to 75 or 76F.

On the other hand, the personal offices each have a direct vent from the AC that pumps into their space, so their spaces are closer to 71 or 70ish. Admittedly cooler.

The two people in my office who this really bothers are older women. Sue is in her 50’s, and Grace is 60-65. Grace is actually my boss. I’ve checked with the other two coworkers in the office and they don’t mind the temperature at all.

Every so often Grace goes to chat with Sue to complain about how cold the office is. Sue’s office is located to the right side of my desk and Grace stands outside Sue’s door to talk about it. She then turns to me and says, ‘Aren’t you freezing?’ I just smile and say nope. I have previously asked Grace if I could use one of the spare offices to work in, but Grace has repeatedly turned this down because she thinks someone needs to be in the receptionist area in case we have unexpected visitors (which rarely happens – really, I think the truth is that her office is perfectly positioned behind mine and she likes to keep an eye on me to better micromanage me, but I digress).

I tried to turn up the thermostat to 75F before, but the main area was so sauna-warm it was hard not to doze off. Even then they thought the office was too chilly.

I think a bit of a brisk temperature helps keep people awake and alert. When the office is set to 73, I still have to wear short sleeve shirts so I’m not uncomfortably warm at my desk.

Grace and Sue each keep a sweater in their offices in case it’s too chilly for them (they don’t always wear sweaters).

The thing is, neither of them has ever directly asked me to turn the temperature up. But I’m wondering if I’ve been an ice queen and should heed their complaints anyway. It’s also possible they keep talking about the temperature of the office in that way that people in an office can sometimes say the same thing over and over again since there’s little else to talk about.

Maybe I’m thinking too much about it.

AITJ for not adjusting the thermostat to be warmer after repeated complaints from the two older members of our staff?”

Another User Comments:
“Heating imbalance in an office is a facilities dept issue and should be treated as such. Like you, I run cold but 4 months of sitting under a vent were deeply unpleasant, especially during winter. Working in a scarf and fingerless gloves was awful, I never felt comfortable and it actually made me restless and irritable.

After several failed attempts, facilities managed to sort something out. It wasn’t great but so much better.

I’d say no jerks here except for:

‘I think a bit of a brisk temperature helps keep people awake and alert’

This is an opinion and is also factually incorrect. People being uncomfortable at their desks makes working unpleasant, makes people want to leave their desks more often, and lowers morale.

So for that, soft YTJ.

Get on to your facilities dept (if you have one) and get the vents redirected.” Mr_Ham_Man80

Another User Comments:
“NTJ.

First of all, they haven’t actually asked and you haven’t actually refused. And old ladies LOVE to complain about the temperature. I wouldn’t give it too much weight until they make an actionable request.

But looking ahead, do their AC vents close or can they be diverted? Or could you get a fan and/or get a small heater? I think this is all pretty standard stuff.

My boss always keeps a fan going in her office. Always. I know my mother always kept a space heater under her desk until the day she retired. It’s hard to keep a big space comfortable for everyone and most people adapt.” personofpaper

Another User Comments:
“No jerks here, since different parts of the office really are different temperatures, and no one has asked you directly.

But you’re the office manager, and this is an office problem, so it’s on you to come up with a solution, or at least start a dialog about solutions.

Like space heaters for the cold offices, or fans to move the cool air around more efficiently. Have a talk with your office mates and brainstorm about it; everyone will be more invested in whatever solutions you come up with if they’ve contributed to them.” JosieJOK

Another User Comments:
“No jerks here, you can’t solve an issue if no one brings it to your attention. But as an office manager, you should proactively manage the office.

The male vs. female office temperature politics is ubiquitous. I run cold and contrary to what several people have said here, putting a sweater on does not solve it. Putting fingerless gloves on does not solve it. Office AC is not a nice gentle ambient 70 degrees; it’s like an arctic blast aimed directly towards you. Extremities get chilled, to the point of losing circulation or turning blue, and it’s very difficult to work when you are uncomfortable.

I would talk to them and see if they could move to your office and if someone else can take over desk duties. If you are the odd one out, instead of setting the temperature in the rest of the office cold so you can be on the upper side of tolerably warm, why not take a perimeter cube? Then you would be comfortable and people who run warm can sit in the warmer areas.” Meggers26

2 points (2 votes)
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Realitycheck 4 months ago
Space heaters and fans.
1 Reply

11. AITJ For Parking Next To A Basketball Hoop In A Cul-De-Sac?

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“I babysit for a family that lives in a cul de sac and normally I park on the curb directly in front of their house. If they have one of the kids’ aid there that day and she’s parked there, I’ll go park in front of the immediate neighbor’s house.

One day there was another car in front of the neighbor’s house so I went one house down and squeezed in next to their basketball hoop which is set on the sidewalk.

They complained to the mom I work for, saying I was blocking their kids from playing basketball and were angry enough to demand she make sure I never parked there again. To keep the peace, one of us will now park in the driveway if we’re both going to be there.

I’m annoyed that this is even an issue because I don’t normally do this, and I don’t think it’s right for them to insist their basketball hoop take priority over what’s already minimal parking space or demand someone park somewhere else.

Plus I was going to be babysitting after dark and even if it’s a cul de sac full of families, it’s scary as a feminine person walking alone to their car late at night.

I could be the jerk because honestly, my decision to park there was made with the conscious thought that I didn’t want to park farther away and have to walk a long distance where they wouldn’t be able to see me get into my car after dark.

The neighborhood is very new and all custom built so it’s fairly safe and I don’t have much to worry about. I watch a lot of true crime and am weary because monsters hide in plain sight as family people all the time. So laziness was just as a factor as safety.

So AITJ for not being considerate of their kid’s desires to play basketball during the hours I was parked? (6-10pm btw)”

Another User Comments:
“No jerks here.

We could get technical that they don’t have a right to have their basketball hoop in the street, but your employer is just trying to keep the peace with their neighbors. Your employer has to deal with the neighborhood drama, not you. Personally, I would have parked in the driveway unless told not to. It’s really not your problem and already resolved so I wouldn’t waste emotional labor overthinking it.” heathahR

Another User Comments:
“Ultimately, you have the right to park in front of the hoop, but I still think this might be everyone sucks here, although the neighbor is much more so than you.

The kids can for sure go one night without playing basketball, but I think it would have been minimal effort to ask the family you work for if you could park in their driveway. The worst they can do is say no, then you move the car to where you ended up parking. I feel it’s obvious why the neighbor sucks – she’s way too entitled.

Because I feel like this sometimes gets forgotten on this sub, I’d also like to add that being sucky in a situation doesn’t mean you’re a bad person or had bad intentions when you acted. It also doesn’t mean that you were wrong in your thinking. As I said, you are technically right in being able to park there, but you did have another option to try. It doesn’t sound like you were in a time crunch, so exercising that option would not have been a big deal.” bad_roboat

2 points (2 votes)
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jasn1 2 months ago
The street is for cars, not basketball.
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10. AITJ For Not Wanting My Partner's Former In-Laws To See Our Baby?

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“My significant other, Anna (36), and I have been together for 5 years and we have an 8-month-old baby.

Before we were together, she married at 24 to a man named Greg, who sadly passed away 2 years later from a work accident. Anna was really affected by his death, of course, and she remained close to Greg’s family in the years since.

Honestly, I have always felt second fiddle to Greg.

She never wanted to get married to me, despite the marriage being important to me, because she said she only ever planned on getting married once, and intends to keep that plan despite her husband dying. She still sees Greg’s family regularly, and she is even part of their family Zoom calls, whereas she never seemed to give the same effort to know my parents.

We had our son 8 months ago.

Recently, with restrictions easing up, she has been taking our son to see Greg’s family. Last week I went with her for the visit, and I noticed that she’s been calling Greg’s sister ‘Auntie June’, and Greg’s parents ‘Mimi and Pop Pop’, which weirded me out because they are NOT my son’s aunt or grandparents.

When we got home I told her that I don’t want our son to be visiting them all the time, because it bothers me that they see my son as part of their family.

Anna got mad at me, saying that since she’s kind of their daughter, our son kind of is their grandson too.

Well, that got me really mad, as it just felt like one more way that Greg is still involved in her life, and that I’m just some kind of replacement. It bothers me that we have started a new life together, yet she is still clinging to her old life.

We had a big fight, and it’s still going, as she still wants our son to see ‘her family’, and I’m still upset that she insists on keeping her former in-laws so close to her and our son.

So AITJ?”

Another User Comments:
“YTJ. This is clearly an important relationship to her, and she’s never hidden that from you. So, for you to try to drive a wedge in that relationship makes you a jerk.

But really, YTJ for getting into a relationship and having a child without understanding and accepting the importance of this relationship to her.

I can understand you finding the closeness off or not liking it, but these are things that should have been considered at the beginning of the relationship. You should not have brought a child into this when you two already had issues in the relationship.

But, you did bring a child into this mess. So, now you can either accept the fact that she views them as family and let it go, or you can continue trying to limit the contact. Note that the latter choice will likely be detrimental to your relationship, at which point you will get zero say as to who your child spends time with when he’s with his mother.

So, the real question is this: Is this a hill you’re willing to die on? Do you want your child to be raised with both parents or to be shuffled back and forth between houses?

If you decide you can’t live with it, that’s fine. I get that. But it’s a decision you need to make. Frankly, I don’t see anything wrong with it. What’s wrong with having more people that love a kid? How is this any different than referring to close friends as aunt/uncle (people do that all the time).

Why not go with them and visit as a family? Right now you’re cut out, and that’s not cool either. Go with, get to know them… just like you did with the rest of her family.” Ok-Mode-2038

Another User Comments:
“They are her family, it’s not like they divorced and she never wanted to see them again. Her husband died and this brought them all closer than ever.

They leaned on each other after the loss, they were all there for each other and have continued to support each other and love each other as a family. So, as much as you want to banish her secondary family to the grave, you’re gonna have to just get over it or leave.

I really don’t see why you would want to cut off a group that loves your son as if he was their own.

He needs as much love as humanly possible. It’s not like they are calling him ‘Greg’s son’ or acting as if you don’t exist, they just love your son and are wanting to be a part of your life.

No jerks here. You’re entitled to your feelings and she’s entitled to hers. You just have to decide whether you’re going to be with her or not because clearly being with her means being with them too.” Boomgtd_

Another User Comments:
“No jerks here but I do think you setting some boundaries would be absolutely ok, however, this seems like just the latest symptom of a larger problem that won’t be solved even if she does let your child see them less.

It’ll continue to pop up in other ways, and it sounds like this is just the latest in a string of incidents.

Her first husband and his family was an important part of her life that she shouldn’t have to let go of (to be fair, I’m a firm believer in unconventional merged families, so your mileage may vary on if you agree. I think you don’t have to be related to going by ‘auntie’ or ‘uncle’).

But she needs to be willing to have an honest open conversation with you about it.

BUT the way she’s reacting, and the way you’re reacting, shows there’s so much unresolved trauma and hurt around this. You should NOT be made to feel like you’re competing. That isn’t fair to you at all, and it shouldn’t be all on you to ‘get over it’ either. She needs to work on how she’s been handling her grief and how it’s impacting your relationship.

And you need to work on managing your feelings of jealousy — it’s possible some of your feelings of inadequacy are you projecting.

If you haven’t already, see if you can get couples therapy to talk this through. Especially one that specializes in grief and second marriages. If not couples therapy there’s a bunch of support groups for ‘new spouses of widows/widowers’ that deal with things like old wedding photos, former in-laws, old anniversaries, feeling like second choices, etc.

(I could probably find a few links if you want). It’s a very complicated but not uncommon problem and you might benefit from being able to talk frankly with people who know exactly how you feel and how THEY got past it.” brieasaurusrex

Another User Comments:
“NTJ.

I understand to some extent the other comments about her chosen family, about her loss, all valid. Her grief is obviously still there.

But, she’s basically treating you like some sperm donor. She’s holding her late husband’s family so close, that she not only doesn’t try with your family but literally makes you feel like you’re second best to her deceased spouse.

She may have loved her husband deeply, and she will always grieve the life she didn’t have with him; but she shouldn’t have moved on with someone else if she wasn’t ready to at least put her new partner first, before someone who isn’t here anymore.

She definitely shouldn’t have had a baby with you, if she was still planning on acting as though the baby is her deceased husband’s.

I get the occasional visit, the social media contact; but calling them your baby’s grandparents just doesn’t sit right.

You should go to couples therapy. Maybe you can understand her loss better, and maybe she can see where you’re coming from. It’s obvious she’s hurting you with her behavior, have you told her it hurts your feelings that she does this?” moonpea

2 points (2 votes)
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Realitycheck 4 months ago
I don't understand why you married her if you think she doesn't want to be married to you. I can only assume son came before ring, but that is not uncommon.

Does her closeness from her to them stem from not being close to her own family? It would be a crucial clue to understanding her attachment.

Try to not feel threatened by the relationship. Easy to say, hard to do.
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9. AITJ For Not Wanting To Bring My Sister-In-Law On Our Family Outings?

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“My (25f) husband (25m) and I have been married for three years. We met when my son (6) was an infant and have been together since. He has a younger sister that is 10. Since we got together she has not liked me. She was very young at the time but was instantly jealous. When we got married she would make comments that all of his money goes towards us and she doesn’t get anything she wants anymore.

Every year she expects a new iPad from him for Christmas. She 1000% thinks my husband will be buying her a car when she turns 16. He has 2 other siblings (21f, 17m) and very loving parents.

Time has passed and we’ve had two additional kids (1f, 0m). It’s rare that we get to spend time with just the older son. My husband treats him like his own, but any time I bring up taking him to do something fun he invites his sister.

It was like this before we even got married. They like playing together even though she does say rude things to him often. My husband chalks it up to the age difference, but I don’t think it is. She has said multiple times to me that she wishes I only had the babies and not my son. She also makes comments about him talking too much or his speech issues.

When we bring her along shopping she always wants to go with me to look at clothes. She tells me everything I’ve picked out for myself or my kids is ugly. She also says that it’s not a name brand so it’s trash. We are usually looking for something specific and can’t afford to buy her much. When we can afford it we get what we can for her.

If we can’t get her anything she cries. She also makes comments that she won’t be getting X for Christmas because I’m buying Y instead. We always tell her before she comes if we afford to get anything and if we can what the budget is. Our son understands, but she throws a fit every time and it ruins the whole trip for everyone.

We recently planned a shopping trip since I need new clothes after having my last son.

I was so excited to spend the day out of the house, which is rare and get clothes that aren’t baggy. Our oldest was excited to spend the day with us. The night before we were going to leave I found out my husband invited his sister. I told my husband I am either taking all three of our kids and going by myself or she isn’t coming.

He said that she needs to come since her parents never take her anywhere and she needs to feel spoiled. I know that isn’t true because she is given whatever she wants by her other siblings and her parents. They also take her everywhere she wants to go. My son cried too when he found out she was coming so we canceled the trip.

My husband insists it’s typical 10-year-old behavior, but she is very mean.

I understand her jealousy and have been trying to help her for 6 years now.

AITJ for not wanting her tagging along with us everywhere? Every time she says hurtful things to me and my son. She does things with us any time I get to leave the house.”

Another User Comments:
“NTJ at all. This isn’t ‘normal 10-year-old behavior,’ she is spoiled. Your husband said it himself. Her dependency on him is also a little much; she is old enough to understand that he has his own family now.

She shouldn’t be expecting so much from just him when she has two other siblings and loving parents as well. But I can see why she does if your husband believes that she needs to feel spoiled. This behavior isn’t going to improve as she grows up if she gets a free pass every time she acts out of line. She also needs to learn sooner than later that she can’t always get what she wants, especially at the ungrateful expense of others.” User

Another User Comments:
“NTJ.

I work with 10-year-olds. This is not typical behavior and no one is doing her any favors by not setting boundaries for her. Boundaries teach children that they are safe and loved, as well as how to live in a world with other people. She cries when she doesn’t get what she wants because she’s been taught that this is the only way she can receive the affection she needs as a child.

She’s starved for love and it’s her parents that are the major jerks here.

The first hard boundary to set is no more shopping trips and if hubby is worried she’s feeling left out, he can send her a message each day telling her he loves her, have VC to talk (not near your kids as she’s already started bullying your son) and the occasional joint activity that is appropriate for all kids.

Set a clear rule that any poor behavior (words or actions) to your son will mean immediate home time and follow through. She’ll hate you at first but in the long run, it will allow all of you to develop a more healthy loving relationship with her.” Pleasant-Koala147

Another User Comments:
“NTJ. Your husband was 15 when his sister was born, so he’s probably not had to deal with her much after she became a toddler.

It’s easy for an older teen/young adult to give in to a much younger sibling without feeling imposed on, (and especially once they’ve moved out,) because there’s so little in their wants and needs that overlap. In this way, it’s easy for him to have spoiled her without needing to face the ramifications of poor parenting. This isn’t the case with your son here, who’s closest to her in age, wants, and needs; he’s basically competition.

It’s one thing if it’s because 10y/o SIL doesn’t get to see her oldest brother often and therefore wants to spend time together, but since she sticks around you to make disparaging remarks and makes material demands of him, that doesn’t seem to be the case.

17y/o BIL is probably the best person to say whether SIL is spoiled at home and whether she gets to go out enough.

Considering the age difference between SIL and the rest of them, she might be saying she doesn’t get to go anywhere when she actually means, ‘she doesn’t get to go where her siblings (and their friends) do’.” fmlwhateven

Another User Comments:
“She does sound like a madam, but because of the age gap, I wonder if her parents have checked out somewhat from the parent/child relationship?

My partner is 10 years older than his brother who was in an accident and while his parents weren’t neglectful, they didn’t put in as much effort as they did with my partner and his sister, no family dinners, fewer boundaries.

He’s the one of the family who has had most issues growing up – only just going to university when he hit 30, never had a proper relationship, keeps relatively distant from his family.

I could see that potentially she’s jealous of your son because he has an active, engaged parent and your partner is also, who she feels more entitled to as he is her sibling.

It’s less of an issue with your joint children because of the age gap.

She does need boundaries, absolutely, but she also needs attention and to feel secure and loved. She’s only 10, poor kid. And it may get worse before it gets better.” VitaObscure

Another User Comments:
“YTJ.

But gently. Your husband’s 10-year-old sister is obnoxious and annoying but that’s just Parenthood because most of what she says is 100% normal tween/teen stuff and hi, she’s only ten years old.

99% of everything she says is parroted from peers and possibly parents. But YOU are the grown-azz adult who is a mother of 3. You should, at this stage of your life, be 100% natural to say ‘Cut the attitude!’ when a child is being smart-mouthed and rude.

But, age reminder aside, the overall situation is very concerning. It is absolutely normal for a kid to hope their parents will get them a car at age 16, it is NOT normal to fully and naturally expect their big brother to buy it for them.

Clearly, your husband has been extremely ‘Parentified’ to such a degree and for so long, that he just naturally accepts that his sister and her needs are his responsibility. I strongly suggest some professional counseling for you and your husband, to unpack ‘WHY he is basically raising his 10-year-old sister and expected to provide for her non-essential and essential wants and activities when she has both living parents still raising her’?” Haunting_Sign_177

Another User Comments:
“NTJ but stand your ground.

‘She needs to feel spoiled’?! She is already spoiled rotten. His spoiling her has made her believe she has rights to his moolah, his time, and a say in his family’s affairs. He basically acts as if she was his child, and so does she.

Good luck on trying to make your husband understand that even if she were his child, she doesn’t have to be included in everything you do or your son does.

Them being of a similar age does not make them joined at the hip. Husband can do things alone with her if he feels the need to compensate.

If your husband makes it too difficult to outright exclude her, do try to help your son have activities without her: sports or hobbies clubs, going to friends’ homes, etc. It feels like he’s at risk of being bullied by her, or is already unable to complain. Don’t let the care of the two youngest blind you to what may be happening to him, or make him feel neglected.” flora66

2 points (2 votes)
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jasn1 2 months ago
She is bring a brat. Your husband is a brother not her father. Your husband's parents should be providing for her. You have your own kids to worry about. Her sour attitude spoils your outings. Your husband should not let her get away with it.. I'm betting he doesn't care because he is off doing his own thing and you are left with the brat.
0 Reply

8. AITJ For Losing Respect For My Mom?

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“My mom, Liz 39 was in a bad accident in 2019, and can’t do much herself anymore. April of 2021 Liz has asked my partner (Nick 19) and me (19) to move back in with her, my stepdad (mark 41), and my younger brother (Bob 18). The agreement was that we would all split rent and bills equally. I worked with my mom (her own business) I’m not going to lie, I was in my room often, I tried to keep the house clean and stuff but I’m not here I can’t do everything exactly like her and that’s what she wanted.

I had severe anxiety and depression so after work, I would just be tired and didn’t really want to be around anyone. Liz took it personally and said that Mark would take the door off the hinges if we didn’t keep it open.

One day I had some friends over, Max went to go get his drink out of the fridge and I guess he didn’t say hi to Liz but, Liz decided to, instead talk to me about it went on a rant on social media about how ‘kid’ in her words ‘let’s call them that because they are definitely not adults, comes into MY house and can’t even say hi’.

I confronted her and said I was upset that she disrespected Max and that she wouldn’t have all her friends and family say hi to her landlord, would she? And she lost it and banned anyone from coming to the house. Maybe a month later I might have gotten petty and posted on social media, ‘when I have kids I will never let my kids feel alone and unheard, if you raise your kids with disrespect how do you expect them to be? As a parent, you should be the last person to give up on your kid, not the first’ I did that because a few weeks ago I had told my mom I was severely depressed, she said, ‘What do you want me to do about it?’ She saw my post then decided to give me and Nick 15 days to move with nothing and said awful things to me.

After that, I stopped doing anything for her. I stayed in my room, went to work,(a different job) and that was it. September 23, Nick’s birthday, we were going to Jackie’s house to cook dinner, I shut the door to change and Liz lost it ‘you better open that goshdarn door’ I told her what I was doing and Jackie on the phone said ‘you should be allowed to shut your door to change’ and we left.

As soon as we left my mom texted me saying that I had to come to get all my stuff and get out of her house. Jackie had called the cops because it was illegal and Mark had made several threats to harm Nick on many occasions.

After the cops come, I get my stuff, the cops tell Liz that according to our state law her house is as much as my house as well and some other stuff.

She tried to tell the cops that Nick had to threaten Bob’s life and she was scared and all. I have proof that that was a lie. So I just want to know should I have just put up with my mom, AITJ? I have lost everyone in my family, they have all stopped talking to me because of this and I feel like I was just a bad daughter this whole time.

Edit: Sorry to be clear, the day the cops were calls I moved out, I am currently not speaking to my mother and homeless.”

Another User Comments:
“NTJ. Your mum sounds like a train wreck, who after being informed that their own child has severe depression, says ‘what do you want me to do.’ A reaction t like that can easily damage or even destroy a relationship with anyone, but someone’s own mother saying it is just terrible.

She is clearly very controlling and manipulative and a straight-up witch. How can your family not like OP, when the mum has pretty much bullied her and called the cops when she hasn’t done anything wrong? I don’t understand people like those at all, to me it’s so obvious who’s in the wrong and yet everyone sides with the jerk! I would say that your family not being on your side and you ‘losing’ them is a good thing, clearly, this family is messed up and it could seriously help you out if you remove all of them, especially your mum from your life.” Apocalypsenowisbest

Another User Comments:
“NTJ.

Look who is miffed/not on speaking terms since you removed yourself from the picture – the very people who now have the ‘joy’ to deal with your mother. They are giving you the silent treatment to guilt you into caring for your abuser so that they do not have to do it themselves.

The guilt you are feeling is normal. depending on where you live society’s pressure of ‘family first’ or ‘dutiful, obedient child’ is overwhelming, like being brainwashed.

breaking the cycle is hard. but also rewarding.

I for myself would cut contact. No calls, emails, nothing. Block her. Detox from her influence. I wouldn’t be surprised if a good part of your anxiety/depression has its roots in your mother’s mistreatment of you. What will she do next? Does she not love me?

Think of yourself, your health, your future. A future where you will have children.

And then ask yourself: do I want her in my kid’s life?

The foundation of the relationship between you two is already broken. Do you want to repair it? You invest time, energy and sacrifice your mental health to repair it. Then you get pregnant, the little one arrives. What now? What will you do, broken down from her continued mistreatment? Experiencing pregnancy/post-birth hormones. Will you be able to guard your child? To put your foot down, draw the line?” Tessa_Kamoda

2 points (2 votes)
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jasn1 2 months ago
NTJ She expects the door to be open even when you are changing clothes? She is a control freak. You probably shouldn't have posted on social media but you have to take care of yourself first. Sounds like Mom is a big factor in your problems so keeping your distance may be best for you.
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7. AITJ For Not Letting My Autistic Son Play With Our Neighbor?

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“I do not let my kids outside without supervision and they have to stay within my sight. This little girl’s parents let her run around where ever she wants to go. She has pushed my youngest (2 years old) down the slide to get him out of the way and does not listen when I ask her not to do something in my yard. At one point, she also leads my 7 year old out of my line of vision to go and play at her house.

I had to run after him and have him come back home. At the time I did not know where her house was.

My son is autistic. He has had issues with elopement (running away) in the past and I am terrified this little girl is going to lead him somewhere and just leave him there by himself.

My other problem is that she shows up at my house every.

Single. Day to ask if my son can go play with her. I have told her no every time but also feel bad because I know my son likes playing with her. Now I feel like we can’t even use our yard because she comes over every time we are outside and tries to “lure” my son into going to her house. I’ve repeatedly told her that he can’t go over there and she still attempts to get him to come.

We also do not have a fence and I have yet to meet her parents.

So AITJ or am I just being overprotective?

Edit: I live in a condo-type setting on a college campus, so I cannot build a fence. This has been going on for about a week and a half. My son has had consequences for running away with her. I track him down and make him go back inside.

We mostly play outside on the weekends and she comes during the week usually while we are having dinner. If she shows up tonight, I am planning on going over and introducing myself.”

Another User Comments:
“No jerks here:

You have given clear reasons you need to keep your son in your line of sight. It’s clear that there have been issues with wandering off and that it’s a risk for him.

A 7-year-old does NOT understand the issues at hand AT ALL. She’s trying to play with a friend and invite her friend over to her house – I am sure your children have some cool things they want to show guests too. Unless she’s had someone either at school or at home explain why it’s important that your son stays near you, she has no idea what she’s doing is a problem for your family.

Have her introduce you to her parents, talk to the parents and explain the issues. Explain that your son is Autistic and requires close supervision for safety and that playing with her is fine, but he must be supervised by a parent/caregiver.

Be careful not to use words that characterize her behavior as malicious (ie. she’s trying to ‘lure’ your son into her house)… that will start the conversation off badly.

Perhaps rephrasing it ‘I know she’d love to invite (son) over to her home, but we need to stay in our yard.’ and figure out how you all can work together to make it safe.

If the parents aren’t receptive or supportive – then she cannot play without you watching… your son’s safety is first.” No-Policy-4095

Another User Comments:
“I’m going to go with a ‘no jerks here’.

You have every right to protect your son.

You have rules and he needs to follow them to stay safe. I’m not autistic and my parents didn’t let me play alone outside until I was 10, so I totally get it.

In regards to the little girl… This girl is also only 7. So I’m not surprised that she doesn’t understand that your son is autistic and has certain rules. She’s just a little kid, so of course, she wants to play and show him her things.

At their age, it’s hard to understand that each child has different needs. It’s annoying that she doesn’t listen to you and can’t share the slide. I’m assuming she’s probably an only child and just doesn’t socialize properly. Or maybe she has some issues of her own?

I would make an effort to meet her parents! It is odd that they just let their 7-year-old girl wander the neighborhood… But I’m not going to judge them solely on that.

Maybe have the girl walk you and your son over. You can explain your concerns. And then they can talk to their daughter and tell her that your son is a bit different and has different rules than she does.

Maybe you all can work something out! Like that they only play inside at her place.

I don’t think anyone here is necessarily a jerk.” nathashanails

Another User Comments:
“No jerks here.

She’s a kid who wants to play and do impulsive kid stuff. It sounds like she enjoys playing with your son and wants to be his friend. My 7yo befriended a girl who lives around the corner from us and literally all they want to do is go back and forth between each other’s houses because they can. I swapped phone numbers with her parents so that we can keep each other informed and stuff.

If you’re already observing him when he’s outside, then just correct her as it happens. Kids generally understand that different houses have different rules. If you don’t have the time or inclination or patience for the extra observation (which is understandable) then just tell her you can’t do it today. Or that you’re going to be doing something which will require your attention so you can’t have any guests in the yard today.

And maybe just ask her to introduce you to her parents? Or write them a quick note and ask them to stop by and say hi?

I can’t imagine the stress of having a toddler and an older child who may disappear at any moment, but you’re not a jerk for setting boundaries. The girl will probably forget or ignore or push back on some of them, but not because she’s a jerk, but because she’s 7.” personofpaper

Another User Comments:
“So I’m really big on letting kids play and have freedom like our parents used to have.

I think it’s really important and there are so many physical/mental health problems associated with keeping kids locked indoors and supervised 24/7.

But NTJ. Your kid is autistic and has a history of running away. You’re not being controlling, you’re just trying to keep him safe. I think it would be a shame if the kids couldn’t play with each other, as a neurodivergent kid good friends were always hard for me to find, but you understandably need to make sure they’re safe. This means you have to talk to her parents and get them to understand the situation – also to scope out whether you can trust them. But is there a way they can play in your house or your yard? Is this girl that wild that she wouldn’t be able to understand those rules? Hope this gets resolved.” a_f_s-29

2 points (2 votes)
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jasn1 2 months ago
Her parents have no problem allowing her to wonder off to a house where they haven't met you. You definitely should keep her away from your son.
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6. AITJ For Asking A Raise After 6 Months?

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“I (20F) have just come off probation and have been working at this place for six months, the last person in my position did hardly anything, and when he trained me up for the role, he only half-trained me, and I had to learn everything else myself.

Over these six months, I have taken on many more duties that he didn’t do; for example, I track all orders that are created in a specific part of the factory so when customers ask when the order was printed for creation, I can give them a published date and a completion date, so everything is much easier.

I also handle sending products away from the site to go through a process and then organizing its transportation back onto the site, just a few examples.

I don’t exactly feel hard done by because I make $20 an hour, but it’s precisely the same as what he did. I feel like I should be earning a little bit more than what he did, but I don’t want to sound rude, but then again, I want to feel some recognition.

I’m worried that I will come off as rude or ungrateful, I’m a second-generation worker here, and I don’t want to put a bad taste in the companies mouth for my family name.

WIBTJ?

Edit: so I did it… I set up a meeting with someone from HR at my workplace, and this was the result

– she would talk to my immediate boss and his boss about the extra work I do and scale my pay accordingly

– I would be given opportunities to study for certificates and diplomas so I could move up the ranks at work a lot quicker.”

Another User Comments:
“NTJ.

If you just came off of probation then it seems appropriate to ask your supervisors for a meeting to go over your progress. Put together some data that highlights the improvements you’ve made to the processes and link them as directly as you can to improve outcomes (efficiency, customer satisfaction, workplace collaboration). Try to be as specific as you can as far as the work you have done and not the work your predecessor didn’t do.

Employee turnover is very expensive, so hopefully, they’ll see that keeping someone who is motivated is worth a raise, but I think that if you present it to them with a focus on the previous guy, they’re going to be a lot less receptive.” personofpaper

2 points (2 votes)
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5. WIBTJ For Suing A Customer For Damaging An Extremely Valuable Item?

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“I run a business selling antiques and vintage items. Last month, a young woman walked into my store, blissfully unaware of the destruction she would soon cause. She walked around for about five minutes (pausing her browsing only to take a selfie in a hundred-year-old mirror), before taking interest in a pair of antique silver handcrafted vases. As she so far had been adhering to my rules of ‘no touchy’, I was no longer paying her any attention.

However, if I had seen which items she was eyeing, I would have been – the pair together was initially valued at around $4,000, and I had a bid for even higher.

Well, clearly she did not understand the idea behind valuable items being placed on a high shelf in an antique store. This woman proceeded to, standing on her tiptoes, trace her finger over the back of one of the vases, where there was some fine detailing.

Suddenly: CLANG! She had somehow managed, while barely touching the thing, to knock it to the ground, badly denting a spot of the detailing as well as a large part of the actual body of the vase. In all my time working in this industry, no customer has ever knocked something off a shelf like that. I genuinely didn’t know how to react. Obviously, she was extremely apologetic and explained that she has a medical condition that causes her hands to sometimes jerk involuntarily.

However, in my view, this does not help her case – it worsens it.

Hear me out: I asked her why, if she has a CONDITION THAT MAKES HER LIKELY TO DROP THINGS, she would put her hands on a clearly damageable antique item. She said that she can usually tell when these involuntary hand movements are likely to happen and was sure that she felt fine.

But my point still stands – would she let a child hold an antique silver vase? Would she cover her hands in Vaseline then hold it? Hopefully not. Therefore, touching the item was an incredibly naïve and frankly stupid risk to take, despite her damaging it being an accident. She said she could not at that moment afford to pay the full price of the vase but could give me a half payment now and pay the rest in increments over a longer period of time.

However, I was close to selling the pair for the full price (or higher). Now that one vase is damaged my original buyer has decided (obviously) not to take the set, rendering both vases valueless. I am not willing to wait however many months or years it takes the woman who broke it to gather an adequate amount together.

I want to involve the law, as I think she owes me at LEAST the highest bid for the pair of vases, but when I explained the situation to my friends, they acted as if I’m the villain.

So, WIBTJ for taking her to court over the damaged property?”

Another User Comments:
“YWBTJ, based entirely on this:

‘She said she could not at that moment afford to pay the full price of the vase but could give me a half payment now and pay the rest in increments over a longer period of time.’

She recognizes that the fault was hers and proactively took responsibility for it, offering you a solution.

If she can’t afford it, she can’t afford it. Even if you sued her and won, she cannot give you money she does not have. Are you willing to impoverish this woman based solely on the fact that she’s not making up for her mistake quickly enough?

EDIT: As an additional side note, I can tell you with almost 100% certainty that there is no way on earth a court would award you the price of the highest bid.

The most you’d get from a court is the item’s appraised value, the same as you’d get if you had insurance. Taking her to court would be a waste of everyone’s time, including yours.” MerakBurr

Another User Comments:
“YWBTJ for not having insurance. If you are going to have a store full of valuable items for sale that is open to the public then it is up to you to carry insurance and keep particularly fragile items behind the counter or locked away behind glass where they will not be picked up.

Silver is a metal. It’s not like she was reaching up to lift a Ming vase to inspect it. Yes, silver is soft and vulnerable- but how can you assume that everyone who walks into your store will be able to distinguish silver from pewter or silverplate?

It’s perfectly normal to pick up an item you are interested in. You make a big deal about it being ‘high up’- but it was clearly IN reach.

She didn’t climb up on a piece of furniture to reach it.” dizedd

Another User Comments:
“YWBTJ. Like robberies and natural disasters, customer accidents are a risk you run in business and that’s what insurance is for — if you don’t have any to cover incidents like this, that’s on you. Additionally, you could have taken steps to ensure these sorts of accidents don’t happen, like putting highly valuable items in locked cases or behind sales counters.

Nowhere in your post do you even say there were signs up asking customers not to touch the items, you were just waiting for her to touch something so you could say ‘don’t touch!’ Not exactly a great strategy to wait for customers to do something wrong so you can scold them for it.

Sounds to me like you have been a sloppy business owner, taking unnecessary risks with your merchandise, and until now have just been lucky.

Your luck ran out with this vase. Take your lumps and give up on getting anything from this customer, and take the lesson from it — put the valuable items you don’t want people touching behind cases!” intuitive_elephant

Another User Comments:
“YWBTJ. Between the comments and this story, you don’t sound like a very good business owner. I hate to be harsh but there’s so much you could have done differently here.

For one, you said it wasn’t insured. That should have been one of your first tasks. Two, you think the vases are valueless now. I also own a vintage shop. They most certainly are not. Their value has greatly decreased but there is still money to be made, especially online. Three, any item more than 600+ should never be placed where any customer can grab them.

Leaving a 4K item on a shelf is incredibly irresponsible.

The insurance thing is really the issue here, though. If I were you, I’d count it as a particularly hard lesson to learn and move on.

I’m also fairly certain (although it depends on where you live), it will be difficult to recoup your money in court. In fact, if you win, you’d probably end up getting less than what she’s willing to pay you.” ripleyxxoo

Another User Comments:
“NTJ.

She damaged it and therefore has to pay. I don’t know what you think taking her to court would achieve though because if she has already offered to pay in installments due to her financial situation, that’s all the courts would make her do too. The only difference is that the court legally binds her to the agreement. They come in pairs, so she should have to buy the set, not just the one. The highest bid is irrelevant. The true value is what she owes.” GuiltyPick

1 points (3 votes)
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CattaBrie 4 months ago
You didn't have a 4k offer or a higher bid. If you seriously thought someone was interested in buying them, you would have them set aside and not on display. You should have insurance to cover your losses. Frankly, you sound like a dick.
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4. AITJ For Annoying My Friend?

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“I was having a rough day and angry-vented toward them in a message. When I do it I’m not an outright jerk to people, and I don’t attack them at all, but I do tend to let the general angst and anger get to my head. When I’m in that mood I tend to type very sarcastically and… obviously… very angrily. The actual thing that happened to me is irrelevant, but the message I sent her originally isn’t.

Then I find she hasn’t responded to me, and I take a look at her status, where she essentially just alludes to the fact that she also is currently dealing with alot of stuff. This realization then quickly snaps me out of my mindset and I send her another message, apologizing to her, and telling her not to take my message too seriously.

The next day I get a message from her, where she says it’s fine and she was having a rough day.

The conversation afterward was me trying to comfort her, but (ironically enough), she spoke in the same exact sarcastic-anger format I typed in. I could tell that she was angry, and sure enough, she was, since she told me that she was tired of ‘giving everything to the world only to receive nonstop venting’.

She also told me that, despite the status I discussed earlier, people still kept sending her vents and whatnot.

Which, being stressed and angry over that isn’t something I blame her for in the slightest.

So, obviously, I put two-and-two together and realized I was also probably involved (if not, the problem). As a result, I told her I care for her and I’ll leave her some space. I don’t exactly blame her for doubting me saying that, but nevertheless, it’s what I did.

Finally, we get to today (around 2 days after this happened).

I didn’t want her to think that I just dumped her out of boredom, so I sent her another message to at least let her know that I’m not ghosting her but rather am giving her space. She told me that she wasn’t mad at me and was busy with school work and the like, but during this, she still had that sarcastic-angry tone.

The conversation then ended with me letting her know that I’ll continue giving her space, telling her I care for her, and giving her a heart.

Her response was a simple ‘you too’. Usually, she’ll send a heart back, but this time she didn’t, which again makes me feel like she still has deep underlying anger toward me.

I had my suspicions that what she said wasn’t sincere (again, probably for good reason), but I didn’t want to further ask her about how she actually felt since she was probably rather annoyed at this point.

It’d be like the guy a girl broke up with who kept sending her messages letting her know how much he loves and misses her, only for the girl to just be annoyed to death with them. This, obviously, was not something I wanted to be seen as.

So I just want to know… am I the jerk here? I probably am but I just want clarification in case it at least teaches me ways to be a better more empathetic person to people.”

Another User Comments:
“No jerks here.

But it feels very much like you are only concerned with whether or not she thinks you’re a good friend and not about actually being a good friend to her. Like these conversations are initiated with the goal of finding out whether she is still annoyed with you and have nothing to do with how your friend is actually feeling or giving her a chance to vent her anger or work through all of the things she is dealing with.

I honestly don’t get the read that you’re a jerk, but I’m not totally sure you’re a great friend either.” personofpaper

Another User Comments:
“It’s hard to say without more info. It’s not okay to take your anger out on other people. You sound kind of young to me, and this is something you will learn /appreciate with age. We all make mistakes. You did apologize and try to make it up to her, and try to talk about it with her, and she’s choosing to be petty rather than mature and accept the apology and let it go.

Personally, I think you should stop messaging her altogether. If she reaches out to you, that’s fine, but it doesn’t sound like she’s really that great of a friend anyway, so just leave the ball in her court and follow her lead.” SheWhoIsMe

1 points (3 votes)
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Pabs 3 months ago
You were the initial jerk. Now she’s being a jerk.
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3. AITJ For Not Spoiling My Partner When I Just Got Out Of The Hospital?

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“I (19F) was just in the hospital. I was only there for a couple of hours and it wasn’t anything too serious, I was just in lots of pain from my tonsils that were swollen and was severely dehydrated. Of course, when I got to the hospital, I called my partner (18M) and told him where I was. Considering this was at 6 am, I had just woken him up and once I told him what tests they were going to do, we said bye and hung up.

As my appointment carried on, I kept updating him as needed. However, he never came or offered to come to stay with me, and I’m sure that he napped in between our calls. We’re in a college town that’s a little far from our hometown, but luckily my mom came to visit me. Without her, I would’ve been in the hospital alone. Now for some more background, my partner has been taking care of me for the past couple of days that I’ve been sick, and he knew that I wouldn’t be in the hospital all day or anything.

He knew it wasn’t that serious. He also does not like hospitals due to personal reasons. He does not have a car but we have lots of Uber’s in our town and money is not an issue for him.

Anyways, I finally got home and took a nap. When I woke up, we started texting about what time we should get together before our plans tonight. I said that I wanted him to come to my dorm since I just wanted to rest up.

He then asked if I could pick him up, take him off campus to a drive-thru to get food (I had already eaten), and then go back to my dorm. I said no because he lives next door to the biggest cafeteria on campus and he could doordash something to my dorm. Here’s where I could be a jerk. Before I responded, I got distracted and id not respond to him for like 15 mins.

In the time that I was not responding, I guess he could tell I was upset and he started blowing up my phone. Once I finally told him to door dash or go to the cafeteria, he just said ‘Alright.’ I responded with ‘Alright,’ and have now been left on read for over an hour. Why is he leaving me on read? Did I do anything wrong? Am I the jerk for not responding? Am I the jerk for not taking him?

EDIT: In a couple of minutes that this has been posted, the biggest question is essential ‘why is being left on reading such a big deal?’ It’s just something we don’t do.

I can’t speak for him but I know that when I’m left on read, I start to spiral thinking he’s mad at me or hates me. We’ve never purposely ended a conversation by leaving someone on read, and he’s never left me on read for this long (and I’ve never left him on read for this long). Maybe it is a sign that the relationship is toxic? That we always need to be talking?”

Another User Comments:
“NTJ.

I’d go as far as saying that the whole first paragraph is almost irrelevant to this other than the fact you had an operation and he wasn’t there.

Either way, the judgment is the same.

The fact that he lost his mind because you didn’t reply within 15 minutes? That’s nutty. This is like a bad Black Mirror episode where your jerk partner loses his mind for going 15 minutes without contact.

I really hope the future isn’t like this. Where couples get into arguments because 15 minutes goes by without contact. How are we not embarrassed as a species for this being where we’re at? NTJ OP, but holy cow. If either of you is ever that messed up to make contact, make a darn call, speak to a human, Geeeez. I’m teaming you on this one, it’s not a good read for him.” Mr_Ham_Man80

Another User Comments:
“No jerks here.

I’m a little biased because I also hate hospitals, to the point where I get very panicky which is a very rare reaction for me, and have barely visited my own parents after surgeries because of it (Only happened 3 times and I’ve made sure to be there when they woke up and spend some time, but then I’ll usually offer to take care of the house/dogs while one parent takes care of/visits the other).

If he was taking care of you and everything was understood to not be serious, I don’t think he’s a jerk for that part. The food thing just seems like… empty-headed? Not really cruel or anything.

On to the read thing. I think you may be overthinking what being left on read means. I mean if your man’s an immature fiend it could be done intentionally, but I’ll try to be optimistic for your sake.

Honestly, I think cell phones and constant online contact is bad for relationships in general (besides LDR) because that constant access makes things like ‘they haven’t responded in 2 hours’ seem like issues when really you’re SO can just be relaxing without their phone for a bit, which is normal and healthy behavior. Our parents used to call each other’s houses and just have to hope they were home, always struck me as a better system, especially when planning when you’d be able to talk becomes something exciting to look forward to. The constant 24/7 contact takes so much enjoyment out of conversations.” MonkeyDDeclan

1 points (3 votes)
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Pabs 3 months ago
OMG I remember these years. Two immature people in a relationship. Each concerned about their own needs. Guy gets mad. Girl thinks “OMG is he mad? Will he break up with me?” And so forth.

Neither of you are jerks per se. You’re just young self-focused. As you get older, you’ll have less tolerance for this kind of drama and it’ll stop because you’ll both mature and won’t do it anymore or one of you will nature and tell the other one where to get off when they start their drama.

Meanwhile, take care of yourself and let him be. He’ll either cool off and come back or let this petty thing break you up. Either way, it’ll be good.
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2. AITJ For Lying For My Friend?

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“My friend A has been adorning the bathroom walls with ‘artwork’ so to speak. I knew she was the one doing the majority of it (others were doing some too.) But I didn’t say anything. Well, time skip to this morning, I make a comment that whoever cleans the bathrooms has taken down her drawings again, so she decided to go back and do more. I go to the bathroom with her because I did need to go to the bathroom before class.

My other friends are in there vaping (not really important but kinda) so when a teacher comes in we all hide in a stall and she calls us out on it. My friend and I walk out of the bathroom and head to the first hour, halfway through as we’re talking the discipline guy comes into our class and points at me, then asks ‘Where’s G?’ (G being my other friend) We don’t know so we say as much.

Then during the second hour, two other girls are brought out of class and questioned, then I am. I walk down to the office and the discipline guy proceeded to grill me questioning what I was doing in the bathrooms, asking if I was vaping or doing the vandalism. I said I wasn’t. He then asks me if I knew who did so he could report them to the police.

I lied and said I didn’t. He let me go.

Time skip again to lunch and we walk back to the school (we have an open campus.) And there’s a cop car sitting outside the school. We walk in and to the stairs to get to my locker when a kid points at us and says ‘Oh yeah everyone’s looking for you two someone snitched on you two.’ So we both freak.

I tell her, ‘Listen you need to tell them it was you. I don’t want to get in trouble.’ She begged me to go to the office with her when she turned herself in but I refused because I was so scared. I later got called into the office to tell the discipline guy that I did know who did it and that I was sorry for lying and now my best friend is in a lot of trouble, and possibly facing legal charges.

I feel like I’m the jerk because I could have said ‘Yes I did it too’ or at least went with her to the office.

So AITJ for not lying or going with her?”

Another User Comments:
“You shouldn’t have gone to the bathroom with her when she told you she was going to vandalize again.

You also shouldn’t have told her that her drawings were removed.

That’s the big lesson to take away from this incident.

Had you not done either of those things, no one would have been looking for you and you wouldn’t have been a witness to anything.

Most of us have to learn these lessons the hard way. The next time someone says they are going to do something criminal, walk in the opposite direction.

Everyone sucks here.

Your friend alone is responsible for her actions. If you had to tell on her so you didn’t get arrested as well for the vandalism, consider that’s the consequence of being with her when she did it.” Ok_Professional_4499

Another User Comments:
“NTJ – it was her actions that got her in trouble, not yours, mostly (shouldn’t have told her the art was taken down)

Also, if she’s having trouble at home do you know what’s the cause of that? The trouble at home leads to trouble elsewhere. People will act out and do silly things when depressed or anxious. Maybe your friend needs to see a therapist? I have no idea as there’s not enough info, but unless she was causing any permanent damage I’d say police involvement is a bit over the top for teenage pranks.” Distinct-Ad5308

1 points (3 votes)
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Pabs 3 months ago
Learn a lesson. When someone tells you that they’re going to commit a crime, stay away.
People have to learn to stay in their own lanes in this world. Too many people getting themselves in things that they should have no business being involved in.
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1. WIBTJ If We Do Christmas With In-Laws At Different Time Than My Sister-In-Law?

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“My (F24) husband (M26) and I have been married for about 2 years and together for 5. We have always had a hard time planning holidays with both sets of parents since both want the holiday and we have to balance that with accommodating my SIL (F30) and her partner’s schedules. Both work in the medical field and rarely get holidays off. My husband and I have more ‘traditional’ work schedules and usually get normal holidays off and then use vacation time for other days we want off.

This year, my SIL informed my husband of the dates she and her partner would be making the 3.5-hour drive to my in-laws to celebrate Christmas. It is Thursday and Friday the week before Christmas. She told us she doesn’t expect us to take off but if we plan to come, they will be leaving early Saturday morning to visit the partner’s family. We asked about finding another time that could work for everyone and were told that for various reasons, there are no other options.

So our options are to:

Drive down the 2 hours to my in-laws after we both finish work Friday and see everyone for a few hours.

Try to request off that Friday and spend the day with everyone. The issue here is my husband starts a new job in December and starts with no vacation since it’s accrued. He will have probably 1 day banked by this Friday.

Visit my MIL & FIL actually on Christmas when we will be in the area to see my family as well but this means not seeing SIL.

My husband is very much a people pleaser and is thinking about #1 or #2 to avoid any ‘kerfuffles’. I am frustrated that there was no communication about when we all could get together and that these dates were picked knowing we would have to work.

I understand this is what works best for SIL however it’s not what works best for us. We could save on 4 hours of driving if we go with #3 and set a precedent for future years that if we all want to be together, we should all decide together.

WIBTJ if we choose to not celebrate Christmas when my SIL wants to?”

Another User Comments:
“No jerks here.

This year due to your husband being at the time going to be starting a new job you simply will have a similar problem to SIL and BIL in that your allowable time off work is restricted. Visit the in-laws on Christmas since you seem to be able to, and it’s probably when they’d prefer it. It’s no one’s fault SIL picked or could only pick the Thursday and Friday.

You can’t make it. It doesn’t sound like she’s making a big deal out of it in terms of you must go there at the same time. I’m sure they wish it could work out better but it’s frankly more ‘on them’ if it ends up becoming a thing” LibraWoman1

Another User Comments:
“NTJ. Part of being an adult means you have to work and pay your bills.

If you guys can’t make it down to visit on that day because of work responsibilities, then tough luck. Maybe just explain that to your SIL and hope everyone understands. If not, then they are in the wrong for thinking everyone can just drop what they’re doing to accommodate others.” cerevian

Another User Comments:
“YTJ for thinking that their days off need to suit you because the medical field atm is so busy and it’s not like they picked those days to spite you. They can only do what is best for their family as you can for yours.

You don’t actually want to compromise. And that’s fine you do your family but don’t be annoyed because they couldn’t get dates to suit you. Don’t you think they would like to have Christmas off with the family too?” Icy-Cold8692

1 points (3 votes)
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Pabs 3 months ago
I don’t think anyone is a jerk. Their schedules allow them to take those 2 days off. Your schedules and your husbands new job, don’t allow that.

If his parents and sister are INSISTING that you need to come on their 2 days off, then that’s a different story. Most people in the medical field (and I am in the medical field so I know of what I speak) don’t expect everyone to cater to their crazy schedules.
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Sometimes, you really have to stand your ground just like what these people did. Now, you be the judge about who's the jerk! Upvote, downvote, and comment on your favorite stories by signing up for a Metaspoon account. Click Log In at the top right corner of this page to get started. (Note: Some stories have been shortened and modified for our audiences)