People Welcome Criticism For Their "Am I The Jerk?" Stories
37. AITJ For Not Wanting Anyone To Remind My Fiancé About My Birthday?
“My fiancé never remembers anything unless it’s something he’s looking forward to a ton. I honestly think he chooses not to remember the rest, because he relies on me to do it for him. I have to remind him at least 10 times for everything, birthdays, dinner date, plans, holidays, vacations.
And if I don’t remind him he says stuff like well it’s your fault I forgot, you didn’t remind me. It’s now gotten to the point where even when I am reminding him he still tries to say that I never did. We have had many discussions that I shouldn’t have to constantly do this, while I’m also trying to keep my things straight.
I told him that it causes me a lot of stress and that I wasn’t going to do it anymore. I don’t think he took me seriously.
So here’s where the issue came up. My birthday is coming up in a few days and I asked my family to not remind him that my birthday is almost here.
My mom is saying that I’m setting my fiancé up for failure and that it’s not fair for me to be mad at him when I told everyone to not remind him. I went as far as telling him that we were going out to dinner that day, just leaving out the part where I normally would have said for my birthday.
I just feel like he should be able to remember this and that it’s unfair that I should have to remind him about my birthday.
I’m also hurt because I plan all these things and make his birthdays, holidays, etc. special for him by doing something I know he’d really appreciate. My mom says I’m in the wrong because you’re not supposed to do something for someone, expecting something back.
And it’s not that I do it expecting something in return, I guess I just want to feel like I matter enough for him to do something special, it could be the smallest thing, he doesn’t have to buy anything, just doing something to make me feel cared about. So AITJ?”
36. AITJ For Spending My Partner's Money To Compensate For The Chores He Doesn't Do?
“My partner and I moved in together 8 months ago and he hasn’t cooked or cleaned once since. He works more than me (50 hours vs 40 hours) so he uses it as an excuse saying since he works more than me I should do the cooking and cleaning. I got sick of it and refused to clean or cook for a week and he complained I wasn’t doing my ‘job’.
I argued I wasn’t paid for my work and he argued since he pays more of the rent etc I had to do more of the housework. I told him I would pay half of everything from now on and he will have to do half of the cleaning and cooking or I would order out food and hire a cleaner to fulfill his half of the cooking and cleaning.
He agreed and said I could do whatever and so told him I was taking funds out of our joint account so he could see how much those expenses really cost. He shrugged since he probably thought cleaners and prepared food was cheap.
We have a joint account so every time I reminded him he had to clean or cook and he ignored me, I told him I’m getting takeout or a cleaner and used our joint account to do it and sent him the receipt.
After 2 weeks he called me in a panic saying we don’t have much funds in our joint account and I showed him all the receipts for the last 2 weeks and told him I’m just using his money to complete tasks he wouldn’t. He complained I didn’t tell him and I showed him all the texts where I asked him to do those tasks and when he didn’t do them within 24 hours I got him to pay for the services and attached the bills.
He complained I wasted $500 to be petty and I told him he doesn’t value my cooking and cleaning so now he gets to pay market price for them. We got into a fight where he demanded I pay him back and I told him I texted him before and after using each service and he chose to ignore me so it’s not my fault he doesn’t want to do any work.”
35. AITJ For Refusing To Do Everything For My Partner?
“I have been with my partner for over 2 years now. I’m 23 and he is 26. We are about to move abroad (to Europe as I have a European passport) and we have been planning this for a long time. I took care of EVERYTHING. The flights, the paperwork, getting a job, etc.
I personally don’t need much as I’m already a European citizen. But he is not, and for us to be able to move we need a ton of papers and documents to prove our relationship.
The thing is, as I took care of everything, he now expects me to do all the finishing details.
For example, we live 4 hours away from the airport and had to book a bus to get there. I had already booked it, as he was planning to make a trip to that city before moving. But yesterday he called me asking if I could book a bus for him (you just have to get on their website and buy one, super easy).
I said that right now I couldn’t as I was having a family dinner (with family members I hadn’t seen in more than 2 years, who came specifically to visit me) He got quite upset. He doesn’t yell or get really mad at me in a direct way. He is SUPER passive-aggressive.
I didn’t want to fight over it, so I ended up doing it. But the website wasn’t working. I told him this and he was upset, and he tried himself and couldn’t do it either. And at that moment I realized he could have done it himself but just wanted me to do it.
It kind of bothered me because he knew I was with my family but I let it go.
This morning, I asked him if he had contacted a translator to translate his birth certificate. He asked me to do it. When I asked him if he could do it. He, again, got upset and told me that he was only asking for ‘ONE LITTLE FAVOR’.
I told him I was kind of tired of taking care of everything about the trip and that he could do some stuff, so in that way, I could get other things done. He said that he would never ask me for anything again (as if trying to make me feel bad for saying no) and that he only asked me for one little favor that was not that difficult.
I feel like he is my son, not my partner. He expects me to do everything for him and I don’t know what to do. Am I the jerk here? It’s just so frustrating to do everything by myself. He is not doing anything for this trip. This is not the first time he’s treated me like this when I say I can’t do something for him but he always finds a way to make me feel bad about saying no so I end up doing it.”
34. AITJ For Demanding To Get Paid For Babysitting My Best Friend's Child?
“I (21f) work at a children’s care home for special needs basically 24/7 which leaves me with almost no time to hang out with my best friend and partake in my hobbies. So I was up one night talking to my friend and she mentioned how we’re both always doing stuff so we should make a day where we can have a nice girls’ day out.
I agreed with the plan but asked her who her autistic son was gonna stay with and she said her husband so I knew we were good. My friend is a stay/work-from-home mom + she’s a caretaker but she and her husband take it in turns.
So two days before our little day out I run into my best friend’s husband since we go to the same coffee shop and I started up small talk.
He tells me that on the same day of our girl’s day out my best friend was going to work for a deal which she had been keeping track of for the past year and how’d it be good for her business. So I asked him if he knew about our day out and he tells me that he has to go on a business trip which was already scheduled a month in advance.
I was so confused and even he mentioned how he’d expect her to tell me about it.
I simply thought nothing about it and moved on maybe I was just overthinking. WRONG.
Fast forward to the night before our day out, my best friend calls me and tells me how she’d had this ’emergency’ with her business that required her to go in and how her husband had a last-minute trip out of the country and said that she needed a caretaker for 2 days.
This of course seemed off as I was off work for 2 days too. I told her that it was fine and I could do the day out myself trying to make it seem like I didn’t catch the hint.
She then had the nerve to ask me to be her caretaker and I simply told her I couldn’t as this was my days off and she could ask her SIL but she said she needed someone with ‘experience’ which I know was a lie since her SIL works at a nursery/elementary for special needs.
Her son is 5! After I said this she told me that she and her SIL don’t talk and since I didn’t want this thing to keep on going I told her I would help her on one condition that she’d pay me.
I think this set her off because she started calling me rude names saying that I was inconsiderate and a bad friend and I clearly didn’t like my job if I wasn’t willing to help her child.
To summarise, I refused to babysit my friend’s autistic child on my day off unless she paid me to. For the record, I do need the money and I don’t make that much at my current care home even though I work hours on end so AITJ?”
33. AITJ For Calling My Cousin Stupid For Falling For A Fake Account?
“I (22f) met my cousin’s husband (24f and 26m) last July for their wedding. They live several states away so in addition to meeting him for the first time it was also the first time I had seen my cousin in a few years. I instantly got a bad vibe from him and he made several comments that rubbed me the wrong way.
He told me I seemed like a ‘wild child’ and said he would bet I’m a ‘bad girl’ at my college. Since meeting him he has followed me on social media and sporadically sends me reels (which I don’t open) and comments odd things on my posts like ‘looking good, cousin’.
He even DMed me once ‘hey I’ll be in your state this weekend on business… LOL’ which I never opened either. All of this definitely creeped me out but I didn’t feel like I could say anything about it because my cousin and I aren’t close and I’ve always felt like she looks down on me because she is a devout Christian and I am not.
Fast forward to this week, one of those fake accounts popped up with some of my pictures asking for payment for X-rated pictures. The bio was in broken English, the pictures were poorly cropped screenshots of my two most recent posts, and the payment app was a random string of numbers and letters.
The account just looked very fake and many of my friends sent it to me and reported the account.
Of course, the 1 person who apparently fell for it was my cousin’s husband. I then got a very long, nasty DM from my cousin telling me she had been very tolerant of my sinful lifestyle (whatever that means) but this time I had gone too far.
She said she didn’t care that we were family and so long as I was posing a threat to her marriage I was no longer welcome in their lives. I calmly and politely responded that this account was not me and that I had already reported the account to be taken down and I apologized for the apparent disruption to her day.
She responded that she didn’t believe me and said she pities me for having such low self-esteem and would keep me in her prayers.
I lost it at this point. I called her stupid for falling for an account that was so obviously fake and said that her husband was such a blatant creep it was embarrassing she even married him.
I sent screenshots of the months of DMs from him that I never responded to and concluded by saying ‘If your marriage is so easily threatened, get a divorce. Don’t take your insecurities out on me.’
Shortly after I got angry phone calls from my mom and my grandma saying my cousin made an honest mistake and that my response was cruel and unjustified.
Apparently, my cousin showed everyone our messages and is humiliated by what I said. My mom is worried our relationship with that side of the family is permanently damaged, and now I may not be welcome at future family gatherings because my grandmama ‘doesn’t want the drama.’ I really don’t feel like my response was out of line, but since no one else agrees with me I’m not sure. So, AITJ?”
32. AITJ For Uninviting My Parents From My Wedding Because They Didn't Reserve A Room?
“I (32F) have had a troubled relationship with my parents for the last 7ish years. I didn’t discover until a large round of therapy in 2018 that my own childhood was full of gaslighting and emotional abuse. I had cut my parents off for about 6 months before giving in because I wanted my niece to have someone in her corner.
Fast forward to this year and I am planning my wedding and dreading parent involvement. Last November we had a wedding dress try on and in an effort to keep everything peaceful, I invited my parents to be a part of it. My mom made her usual remarks, tried to bring the focus to her direction, etc.
When she found out I wasn’t currently attending church, her response was, ‘Well, there goes all the raising I did of you. All down the drain.’ Ok… then.
I run a summer camp. This last summer we had an active shooter threat that really threw me through a loop for a few weeks.
While it turned out to be a prank (swatting), there are parts of camp/roads I won’t go on because I’m not ‘over it’ yet. That same week, my hotel block filled up and my parents hadn’t yet reserved a room. My mom went off in my texts about it and how I clearly didn’t care about them because I let this happen.
I simply responded by saying I was dealing with something pretty significant and I sent the news article about the situation. My dad’s response? ‘Well that was Monday, it’s Wednesday and it was just a prank. Why are you still upset about it.’ My mom added ‘At this point, you’re failing your own wedding.’
I literally uninvited them to my wedding. The calls and texts for me to change my mind didn’t stop for at least a week. I stopped answering my phone.
My wedding was last weekend and I had family message the morning of to tell me they weren’t coming because I caused too much pain. I am not gonna lie, I’d rather they not show up than message me the morning of my wedding.
31. AITJ For Refusing To Help My Stepsister After Her Car Accident?
“My (31F) stepsister (I’ll call ‘Kate’) and I (23F) do not have a very good relationship. Our parents started going out a few years ago and got married this year. Since the beginning of their relationship, Kate has been terrible to my parent and has nearly caused the relationship to end.
She has slowly gotten friendlier but I wouldn’t say that we’re truly on good terms. She oversteps obvious boundaries and can be quite rude. I’ve tried to at least start a friendship but I must admit that I’m really intimidated by her loudness and bluntness.
My dad won’t forgive her actions and the things she’s said and I’m at the point where I only interact with her with normal politeness out of respect for all parties.
Earlier this year Kate got into a car accident involving driving under the influence of her own fault. Luckily she survived and was the only one around. Unluckily she had broken her back and has had plates put in to help. She had a fall last month and has since had to go into surgery and has had more plates put in and is now looking at a lifetime of mobility issues.
I was asked by my step-parent if I could help Kate sometimes in the garden or just hang with her. The thing is that our parents and I are the only ones who would help because Kate does not have a good relationship with anyone else in the family.
I know she’s already paid the price for being so stupid and reckless, however, I don’t feel like I should help her because it was her fault for driving under the influence.
After being asked to help I said no and my parents said that it wasn’t fair of me to say no and that I should help because it’s good to do. Not only do I not want to help because of how she’s treated my Dad and me, but I also work between 26-44 hours per week. When I’m not working I’m either sleeping, cleaning, or trying to spend time with my person.
Am I the jerk for refusing to help Kate after her accident after it’s her fault and because of how she’s treated my Dad and me?”
30. AITJ For Telling My Mother-In-Law She's A Vindictive Witch?
“I (26F) and my husband (26M) have been together for 8 years and married for 1. We have 2 kids together and just bought a house. My MIL came by to visit the other day when my husband was at work and my youngest child (4) was having a full-blown meltdown.
My youngest son has mild Autism and severe ADHD and my MIL knows this.
Well, my older child (8) lets her in and I am dealing with the toddler in a separate room to calm him down. My MIL comes to me and sits down and starts talking. Well, I get my toddler to calm down and she looks at me and goes ‘It’s a good thing you came to your senses and decided not to have any more of those’.
Now this instantly angered me because I had a lot of complications with my second pregnancy, and I was put under a lot of stress during this pregnancy by my husband’s family. Because they didn’t want me to be pregnant. I had my older son at 17 and he was not biologically my husband’s.
However, my husband has been around and raised him since he was born because his bio dad disappeared.
My youngest son was supposed to be a twin but I lost one early in the pregnancy. And during my whole pregnancy, my in-laws kept pressuring me to get my tubes tied because they didn’t think I should have any more kids.
Not for the medical reasons I chose to have it done. My in-laws have never liked me or approved of me because they don’t like the family I come from. I calmly tell my toddler to go play with brother because I need to talk to his grandma.
After he leaves I look at her and tell her she needs to leave.
She gets mad and tells me I have no right to tell her to leave because it’s her son’s house, not mine and I am a stay-at-home mom with no income or credit so only my husband’s name is on the loan of the house. I am really mad now and say ‘You are being a vindictive witch and it’s funny that you tell me about how I don’t need more children when you only closed up your baby factory after you had 5 kids because you cared more about having a daughter than being a good mother’.
Well, she left and then later told my husband a bunch of lies and he came home and asked me about it, I told him what happened and he believes me because he knows how his mother is. But now she is saying I am horrible and she refuses to come back till I apologize.
I said then she just won’t come back. But now my husband’s whole family is mad at both of us for him taking my side. So AITJ?
Edit: My MIL blames me for my youngest son having Autism and ADHD (even though my husband has ADHD) and told my husband that if he chose to breed with good stock and picked someone she approved of his son wouldn’t be messed up.
My son only answered the door after I gave him permission when he told me it was her at the door. Since we just moved I thought she was dropping off the stuff they told me a couple of weeks ago they found at their house that belongs to my husband but no she came over to insult me it seems.”
29. AITJ For Telling My Dad's Wife To Stop Moving My Stuff Around?
“I (26F) live with my dad (64) and his wife (53). Honestly, I hate living here but I can’t afford to move out yet so here we are. For context, I’m Italian and here it’s not uncommon for people to stay with parents in their 20s.
Anyway, my dad’s wife has a habit of moving my stuff around that makes my blood boil.
For example, if I leave my pack of smokes on the balcony table next to the ashtray, she moves them to the other side of the balcony. Every single day. Anything I leave in the kitchen (and I mean food, not mugs or other items) gets rearranged and moved despite already being in the proper section of the pantry.
I used to have a soap dispenser shaped like Darth Vader in the bathroom, a gift from a childhood friend, and she just removed it without telling me anything. It was literally the only item in the whole bathroom that she hadn’t picked when we moved here.
I could go on for hours since this has been happening for at least a couple of years, but basically, I can’t leave anything anywhere outside of my bedroom without it being moved, thrown out, or hidden somewhere.
I’m at the point of storing shampoo and skincare in my bedroom. I keep most of my meds on my freaking bedside table as it’s happened before that I was having an asthma attack and went to the meds cabinet and my backup inhaler was nowhere to be found.
Yesterday morning I needed my allergy meds I take every day and couldn’t find them so I snapped and told her to stop moving my stuff around and to at least tell me where she puts my meds if she can’t help moving them.
She got super mad and accused me of being a disrespectful roommate and a leech and unappreciative of all she does around the house.
Imma be honest, I laughed at her face since I literally do all the cleaning and I mean all of it. Every single household chore I’m the one that does it so I’m not sure what her contribution is other than spending my dad’s money since she doesn’t have a job and isn’t even looking for one.
Needless to say, she didn’t take that well and now is super offended and mad at me.
So, am I the jerk here? Should I apologize?
Edit: I cannot get a lock on my door as I have harmed myself in the past and even tho I’m in therapy and doing much better and it hasn’t happened in years my dad explicitly asked me not to as he’s terrified of it happening again and not being able to intervene and I get it, so I’d rather not make him worry.”
28. AITJ For Speaking My Mind To My Dad And His New Wife?
“So I (f16) have a twin sister and younger sister and brother, also twins (6).
Long story short my mom (46) walked in on my dad (56) having an affair with my mom’s ex-best friend (f55). Mom immediately asked for a divorce and kicked out my dad since he is unemployed and had been for almost 8 years and refused to get a job, the house was also in mom’s name so she got both full custody and the house while he got nothing.
After the divorce, my mom started seeing other people again and is now married to her wife Jordan. She has two kids from a previous marriage both (16f) and we all get along perfectly. Now I haven’t seen or talked to my dad in a very long time so I was kinda shocked when he reached out to me on Snapchat of all things he chooses Snapchat asking if I and my siblings would like to come over for dinner to catch up.
At first, we all denied but with a little convincing from our moms we agreed, we also took our stepsisters. We all assumed it was just us and our dad, we asked him if we could bring our sisters and he said that was okay.
The dinner was going great until he said he wanted us to see someone we haven’t seen in a long time – our mother’s ex-best friend who is now his wife walked downstairs wearing my mom’s old dress.
It was her favorite dress. Her great-grandmother bought it for her before she passed away and she even cried when thought she lost it. At that point, I was ready to rip the dress off her and leave but kept my composure. I asked why she was wearing my mother’s dress and she responded that she can and that she was an adult and can do whatever she wants and I needed to mind my own business and obviously, my mother wasn’t.
Thinking about it and if she was then that sounded like a her problem. I looked at my dad expecting him to say something but he said she was right and I shouldn’t make a big deal out of it. He then started complaining about us never coming to see him and never talking to him and not understanding why we hated him so much.
At that point, I exploded and I’ll admit I said a few harsh things. I told him that he’s a stuck-up lying unfaithful piece of work who can’t keep his thing in his pants and maybe if he got off his lazy butt and got a job then maybe he would’ve had some type of custody of me and my siblings.
I also told his wife she was a trashy friend who couldn’t keep her legs shut and not sleep with her best friend’s husband. At that point, she was crying and told me to get out of her house so I and my siblings left and waited outside for our mom.
I’m now getting lots of angry calls and texts from my dad’s family and friends saying I’m a jerk and I’m starting to think I am so do you think I’m a jerk?”
27. AITJ For Not Wanting To Share My Late Mom's Stuff With My Stepsisters?
“My mom died when I was 7 and before she died, she gave my grandparents most of her prized possessions so I could have them. I kept them for a while but then my dad got remarried and his wife started looking through them a lot. A few times she even said her daughters would love either one of the old stuffed animals or the jewelry I had from my mom.
So I sent it all back to my grandparents. My stepsisters have expressed an interest in us being sisters and for us to all be one big real family. My dad thinks it’s a great idea and has suggested that I pick something for each of them from the stuff my mom left as a gift of accepting them as my sisters.
I said I don’t see them as my sisters and I don’t wanna give them something from my mom’s stuff. He asked why and I said because I do not want to share that stuff with them. He asked me if I love them at least and think I might see them as my sisters one day.
I said I don’t think so. He was upset but said he got it.
Then his wife approached me with the same thing and I told her no as well. She said her kids are only little (they were 4 and 6 when dad married her) and that I should see them as my sisters and want to connect them to me in every way, and by denying them the gift it’s showing I’m very cold and uncaring.
I do wanna clarify, I don’t hate my stepsisters and I don’t consider them nothing. They are my stepsisters. But there are plenty of family members I don’t have very much of a connection with and I would say they (and their mom) are in that category for me.”
26. AITJ For Discouraging A Customer From Trying On A Small-Sized Dress?
“I work as a bridal sales associate. The other day I’m assigned my bride, I do a normal introduction of myself, I ask the bride if she’s tried on any dress before. She says yes, I ask if she has any photos, but she seems annoyed and says no. I ask her what size the dresses she was trying on were and how they fit, she tells me a 30 and that they fit well.
I kindly explain to her that we don’t carry many size 30 dresses in the store (we have probably 150 dresses and only 3 are a size 30). But that we can try 26/28s and if she finds ‘the dress’ she can order it in a 30 as we have that size available online.
I start pulling the size 30s we have to show her, she hates all of them, and tells me ‘How about I just pull dresses myself since you can’t seem to do it’. I tell her that’s fine I’ll start her a dressing room. I ask another coworker to try and assist her since she definitely wasn’t wanting to work with me.
She was just as rude to my coworker, so I go back over to her + her family/friends. She pulls out a size 14 dress (a dress I know we only have that one of in the store) I tell her that and she still insisted to try it on, I’m walking on eggshells here so I tell her, ‘(in a sympathetic tone) ‘well as this is a size 14 I’d recommend we don’t try this on, we won’t wanna try and be squeezing you into it’ since I felt like if I said honestly ‘This dress is many sizes smaller then the dress size you’ve told me fits you’.
She would get even more aggressive towards me. She just puts the dress back and walks away from me so I give up and ask my sales manager if they can try and assist her. She does and she is suddenly all nice and polite to my manager and ends up finding a dress.
I continue my shift till my sales manager calls me over and tells me this customer said I ‘brought up her weight and made her feel insecure about her size’??? I nod my head and listen to my manager and tell her I appreciate the feedback and I’ll make sure not to mention that again but I didn’t think I DID TO BEGIN WITH.
Was there a way I should’ve handled the situation differently? I specifically tried to not say directly ‘You’re too big for this dress.’ This really made me mad. I can admit my faults/mistakes. I just honestly don’t see what I did wrong here. As well as the fact that this woman tried to get me in major trouble with my manager and affect my job because she didn’t like the wording I chose to explain to her something glaringly obvious (her being 8 sizes larger than the dress she was asking to try on).
AITJ for even telling her I wouldn’t recommend trying it on in the first place?”
25. AITJ For Telling My Mother-In-Law The Real Reason Why I'm Glowing?
“My mother-in-law ‘Barbara’ is a conservative woman. She tends to be very critical of me, she always finds flaws in me and is always trying to ‘fix them’.
E.g. her response to me dying my hair was that I committed a sin by changing God’s chosen hair color for me.
She once threw out some of my undergarments saying her son shouldn’t see them because it’s sinful (we were already married, by the way).
During the engagement period, she made a weekly reminder for me to not get pregnant or else she & her family will disown the baby and cut me off.
Recently, she started making comments about how bad my face looks, she kept sending me boxes and boxes of this tea she recommended since she’s big on herbals and essential oils.
Basically forcing me to try it although I already told her that it makes my stomach hurt and causes me to throw up.
Yesterday, I visited my in-laws alone for lunch since my husband ‘Tommy’ had work and couldn’t come. Barbara examined my face from across the table while we were eating and was like ‘Oh looks like the tea has FINALLY yielded some pretty good results! Your face no longer looks pale and outworn like before’.
Everyone stopped eating and stared at me. I felt so embarrassed and quite shocked that she’d call my face that. I leaned back and told her ‘No, Tommy’s actually been helping me out with the de-stress every night in his own special way’ (wink wink). She must’ve figured out what I meant and so did the others because they started laughing and she literally widened her eyes in shock.
She looked very offended but said nothing, just said ‘Excuse me,’ and walked out.
Silence took over but later, Barbara called me lashing out about the disrespectful and inappropriate things I said in front of the family. I said that I was just letting her know her tea did nothing and told her the reason why my face was ‘blooming’.
She shamed me for talking about her son’s intimacy and said that I clearly am taking advantage of him. I guarantee that I wasn’t taking advantage but she kept berating me and then wrapped up with a request for an apology after I offended her in front of the family.
Don’t know if I messed up here, AITJ for my response?”
24. AITJ For Not Giving My Mother A Place To Stay?
“My mother and father divorced when I was 12. My mother was always hassling my father to clean up and cook after work, she grew up with maids and never really learned how to ‘adult’. My father used to say she was a lot better in college but when she dropped out her family stopped supporting her financially, evidently, she didn’t take this too well.
Once they split, anytime I was with my mom she would make me do all the chores when I came back from school, as a result, our apartment resembled a pig sty. She always caused a mess and refused to ever do dishes or laundry.
When I was 15 my dad died in a car crash, and I stayed with my mom full-time.
Around this time I got my first job, and my mom said that I had to pay her back for all my living expenses. She took 80% of what I made for 3 years before I moved to college. Once I got to college I received a letter from my grandma, apparently she had written to me often but my mother discarded the letters.
My mom wanted to keep me away from her, I don’t know the exact reason why.
Anyways my grandparents supported me throughout university, allowing me to get a well-paying job. I make decent money, but I keep my cost of living low as a result I have a healthy amount of income.
My mother married some sleazy addict and as a result, she got addicted, they sold her house in order to feed their addiction. Once my mom had no money her husband left her, and now she’s reaching out, saying I’ve got to repay her for all the years I spent living under her roof. She wants me to give her a place to stay, but I don’t know. I don’t want anyone to suffer but I can’t bring myself to forgive her. AITJ if I leave her out to dry?”
23. AITJ For Refusing To Tattoo An Overweight Customer?
“So I am a tattoo artist and today a very large woman came in to get a geometric/jewelry-ish tattoo on her stomach area, we had discussed this tattoo over messages but she had not mentioned her weight… now weight normally isn’t a huge concern but this woman was huge, her entire torso was just a series of folds especially around her ribs and the middle of her stomach where the tattoo would be placed, not only that but under her various folds there had definitely not been cleaned in a while (the smell was something else).
I had already drawn up the tattoo but upon looking at her torso I decided it simply wouldn’t be possible, the tattoo would either have to go into her (dirty smelly) folds or skip over those areas, which means if she lost weight that there would be huge gaps in the tattoo.
So I simply told her that I could not do the tattoo, she asked why and I tried to explain to her as kindly as possible that because of the folds on her stomach that I would not be able to do a nice tattoo in that style but that we could go for a different placement or do something more organic for that area…
This is where she completely snapped at me screaming into my face that I was fat-phobic and just didn’t wanna do it because I found her gross, and that an ‘anorexic skinny witch’ like me just didn’t get her…
I care a lot about making my clients feel comfy but obviously, I don’t wanna do crappy tattoos, I obviously triggered something in her and I feel really bad about it, I asked some of the more experienced artists what they’d do and they agreed I made the right call.
Now this is where I think I might be the jerk, her whole tantrum made me really not want to work with her so when she finally said that she’d do another design on her stomach I refused, I told her that her behavior made me very uncomfortable and in my temperamental state that she should, by the way, go wash her folds before coming into a tattoo studio where cleanliness is a top priority.
So am I the jerk?
Edit: I want to make it clear that this woman wasn’t just regular sweaty or something, it was rancid. I wouldn’t doubt that you could find an infection within the folds and her comment on my body hit me really hard since I am a recovering anorexic.”
22. AITJ For Being Angry At My Friends For Making Me Pay For Their Food?
“I (18 male) go out with my friends a lot. I mean like 3-4 times per week. I come from a pretty wealthy family and because of that, I get a fair amount of money each month on top of working.
I sometimes treat my friends to dinner or pay for outings but most of the time we each pay for ourselves.
Yesterday, we went to a restaurant and they ordered some expensive food. I made a joke about how they must have gotten a pay rise and they chuckled and muttered something under their breath that I couldn’t quite make out.
We eat dinner and once we have finished they all say thanks for the meal and leave.
Now like I said I’m happy to pay every now and again but I had already paid for cinema tickets the other day so I was a bit annoyed about this especially as it cost over £100 pounds. I paid the bill and left in a huff.
The next day they came up to me and asked me if I wanted to go to the theme park with them on the weekend I said it depends; are you going to make me pay like last night? There was silence as they looked at each other.
They told me it was just this one time and that the bill wasn’t even that much for someone like me. I told them to go screw themselves and that I won’t be hanging out with them until they pay me back. They called me a tight-fisted jerk and that I always cover things so it shouldn’t have been that big of a deal. I said that I don’t mind it now and then but I already paid for the cinema. They rolled their eyes and said that I have enough money so I should share some. I haven’t spoken to them since.
21. AITJ For Not Wanting To Reconnect With A Childhood Friend?
“My birthday is in a few weeks. My mom and I went out for Bloody Marys yesterday and ran into someone she used to be friends with. I’ll call her Wendy. Wendy has a daughter Linny and when I was a kid I was forced to be friends with Linny. Apparently, we’re the same age but she always acted babyish which kinda annoyed me.
When I was like 12ish I stopped going when my mom would do stuff with them. Well, she stopped dragging me along.
Wendy started going on and on about how she can’t believe how her daughter and I are both grown now.
My mom said, ‘Yea, her (my) birthday is coming up and I can’t believe how old she is’.
Wendy asked if I was doing anything for my birthday. I assumed she was just making conversation so said meeting with some friends and going to different bars.
Then she said, ‘Well Linny just moved back to town and is looking to meet people, maybe she can meet up with you on your birthday.’
I just said, ‘Eh I’m not sure where we’ll be and when so…’
She said, ‘Then give me your number and I’ll give it to Linny so she can call or text you to see where you are’.
I said ‘Eh nah, that’s ok maybe some other time’. REALLY hoping she’d take a hint.
She said, ‘No no this is perfect, meet up with an old friend and meet new people, just give me your number’.
I sorta sighed and said, ‘Look I don’t really want her to go, when we were kids I was forced to hang out with her.
I don’t consider her a childhood friend’.
Wendy looked at my mom and my mom said, ‘You weren’t really forced, just encouraged’.
Wendy said, ‘Sorry I was just trying to help you guys reconnect, Linny doesn’t have many people to hang out with since all her old friends moved on, have a good birthday’. Then walked away.
My mom said I was unnecessarily rude and should have just given her my number and not answered her call/text if I didn’t want Linny there.
I feel like I was TRYING to be nice about it and she didn’t get it so I had to be blunt.
20. AITJ For Finding My Neighbor's Prepared Food Disgusting?
“I (female, 21) recently bought my own house in the suburbs of NYC. The day after I moved in, a white older woman from the neighborhood named Mrs. Greene came to my door to introduce herself since I was new here (is that something people do normally?). She also invited me to dinner for the following night (is THAT something people do normally?!) and I was at first gonna politely decline bc I’m kind of a loner, but she pointed at which house was hers and it looked very nice so I said yes.
The next day I went to her house and when I got inside, EVERYTHING looked expensive. I dressed nicely but even I, a 21-year-old with a home all to herself, felt small in front of Mrs. Greene and her husband. I was at that point expecting an excellent meal to match their appearance, and I was kinda dismayed when I saw Mr.
Green put out paper plates and red solo cups. Mr. Green then went outside so I assumed he was going out to turn on a grill or something… then I realized that the uncooked-looking chicken slices had steam coming up from them.
Turns out Mr. Green went out to smoke and that the chicken was ALREADY COOKED when I got there.
Mrs. Green put some on my plate along with some microwaved peas, carrots, and a watermelon slice (racially motivated? and I almost think the watermelon was microwaved as well). I knew I couldn’t eat the chicken because some of it was literally pink on the inside, so I frankly asked Mrs.
Green how she prepared the chicken. And to my shock, she said she literally cut up a chicken breast and threw it in the microwave. She then offered me KETCHUP to put on the chicken ‘for more flavor’, to which I said no thanks. I sat in silence, occasionally taking a sip of water, for about a minute while Mr.
and Mrs. Green started eating their ketchup-drowned pink meat.
Then Mrs. Green says ‘Something wrong?’ I asked if it was some kind of a sick joke since they literally had normal dishes and utensils in the sink (probably from lunch) and said that their meal looked unedible. She was surprisingly calm but just said ‘Oh we don’t eat fancy, sorry if you expected more.’ Then I said ‘I’m sorry but I can’t eat this,’ and THEN she got snappy and escorted me out the door.
I don’t know what else I could’ve done bc it looked absolutely disgusting. The two of them did actually eat the chicken, which now makes me think they were completely serious about the meal. Maybe my standards are too high. AITJ?”
19. WIBTJ If I Decline A Wedding Invitation And Not Send A Present?
“My partner, Martin, took me out to dinner to meet his close friend Andy, and Andy’s fiancée, Anna. I thought we got along well, and Andy said he hoped to see me as a guest at his wedding.
Martin, Andy, and Anna all work for the same employer. Martin is part of the employer’s leadership group, but neither Andy nor Anna are in his reporting line.
Martin’s invitation was addressed to him ‘and guest’. He accepted for both of us.
A week later, he told me about a phone call from Anna. Apparently, she’d miscalculated the number of guests they could have at the venue, and would I mind terribly if she cut me from the guest list? Apparently, Anna was too embarrassed to ask me herself.
Since we’d only just met, it seemed reasonable I was one of the guests to be cut. I asked Martin to tell them personally that I understood and pass on my best wishes.
Then Andy called me and said he hadn’t known about the issue with the venue. But some of his older relatives were declining due to health fears, so he would invite me personally.
My invitation arrived in the mail, with my name on it, and I accepted.
That’s when things got weird. I bumped into Anna when we were both out shopping. She said we hadn’t seen each other since the dinner, and did I have time for a coffee? I said yes, and after we got our coffees and sat down, Anna said, ‘Can’t you take a hint?’
I asked what she meant.
Anna said wasn’t it obvious she didn’t want me at her wedding? She understood I was unfamiliar with wedding etiquette and how things are done in this country, but the polite thing to do was decline the invitation and send a present.
I told Martin about this, and Martin told me about a similar incident at work.
A work friend of Anna’s had confronted him about my ‘rudeness’. According to the friend, Anna was just inviting me to be polite to the boss’s partner, and I should be just as polite and decline the invitation.
We talked it over, and I am not comfortable going. Martin is going to talk to Andy in person and ask what’s going on before he decides what to do.
The issue is: should I give them a present? All of the wedding etiquette guides I’ve consulted, say that if you decline a wedding invitation after accepting it, you should send a present. But frankly, I feel like I am being used, and giving them both a present feels like I’m saying I’m OK with that.
I’ve asked some of my family members WIBTJ, but… let’s just say they’re biased and probably spend too much of their time on the internet.
Really, WIBTJ if I declined this wedding invitation, but didn’t give the couple a present?”
18. AITJ For Telling My Dad What My Stepmom Said To My Brother?
“My (18M) parents divorced when my brother and I were 7, I have 3 older siblings (30F, 25M, 22M), 2 step-siblings (21M, 18M), and 2 half-siblings (7F, 5M). My twin’s significant other died 9 months ago in a car accident, he blames himself because he was supposed to pick her up but couldn’t.
My siblings (mostly my full, my step-ones aren’t that… good) and I had been trying to help him as much as we can, my dad put him in therapy and is taking him weekly to the lake so he can do pretty much anything from screaming to crying.
I won’t call my step-mom a step-monster but it’s clear that she favors my step and half-siblings more, it’s like pretty much everyone minds their business, we have our dad and they have their mother.
It works for us.
As expected, my brother has neglected a lot of things, he selects the things he wants to do for a week or two, then he completely zones out for a whole month or so, and then does it again. He’s in charge of doing his own laundry (all of us are except the kids obvs), doing the dishes 1 day per week, walking the dogs 6 days a month and we (him, my step-brother (18), and I) pick up my sister (7) from karate since it’s on our way home.
He still does the dishes and drives our sister, but sometimes he doesn’t walk our dog when he’s supposed to and he doesn’t clean his room (it doesn’t smell or anything, and he has all of his clothes clean or dirty around the place, a bunch of school papers and some wraps).
I do it for him because I know that he’s suffering and I’ve seen him sitting in his messy room crying, I don’t mind.
Well two weeks ago my stepmom was visited by two of her sisters and two of their kids, everything went okay apparently, they just left three days ago and as soon as my dad left to drive them, my stepmom turned to my brother and started to berate him for ‘his pathetic act’, she went on and on about how he never engaged with her family and how embarrassed she felt after her sisters mentioned my brother’s room, she called him lazy, disgusting, emotional, unpleasant to be around and such.
She yelled ‘You have to stop! You have to move on now! I’m tired of this. You’re draining us’. In the end, both my brother and I went to his room and he cleaned the whole thing, he was crying and shaking and he didn’t let me help him, he then cried himself to sleep.
When my dad got back I told him everything in front of her and I called her disgusting for basically bullying my brother, she started to cry too, but my dad said that my brother still helped around more than her son and that maybe she messed with his internal progress because he was opening more and she just shut him out.
He called my sister and asked her to let my brother spend some nights at her house and my other brother came and picked him up. Things are awful here and my dad told me that I can go with my sis or my bro too, but I don’t want to leave him. Maybe I should apologize?”
17. AITJ For Not Wanting My Daughter To Babysit The Twins?
“So I (40F) have 3 children – ‘Kate’ (17f) from a previous marriage and twins (7m and 7f) with my new husband ‘Ben’.
I and Ben both work long hours but we managed to make it work. I work from 7-3 and Ben works from 9-5 Monday to Friday. Because of this Ben is in charge of the kids in the morning and I get the kids on my way home and take care of them until he gets home.
Everything after is split 50/50.
I recently got a promotion at work and I accepted it because it was good pay however I had to work more hours. Two of those hours make me go over the school day so on two days of the week I won’t be available to pick up the kids and no adult will be home for an hour and a half.
I told Ben about the promotion and time change and he was happy for me and excited about my pay rise. I started to look for a babysitter for the kids for those three hours. Once I found quite a few who seemed like a good fit I went to Ben to see what he thought.
He gave me a strange look and asked why we needed a babysitter. I reminded him of the time changes and he said to just get Kate to look after them. I said that was out of the question and we’re not making Kate have that responsibility. He said that Kate liked to babysit and I said it is not something that she would have to work her whole schedule around.
He then said that it would be a waste of money for a babysitter and that we can use that budget for fun activities for them and that I wasn’t thinking about the bigger picture. He repeated that Kate loved babysitting and that it would be a great bonding time for them.
I disagree and said there was absolutely no way I was allowing this and that he should start looking for a babysitter.
I thought I was doing the right thing but during the week he kept making jabs at me for example I suggested that we go somewhere expensive as a congrats dinner/date for us and he said that’s a great idea too bad we can’t afford it.
He also pointed out a few expensive things and made similar remarks.
This made me doubt myself a bit so I went to my friend. She agreed with him on the part about saving up for something bigger and suggested all the things we could do on holiday instead. So now I’m feeling confused.”
16. AITJ For Asking A Social Worker To Investigate My Fiancé's Uncle's Family?
“I (20f) was asked by my fiancé’s (21m) uncle to babysit his 5 kids (12f, 8m, 4m, 3f, and 2f) last year so his wife could start working to make extra income for their household. They were willing to pay me $300 a week so it wasn’t so bad. I always knew they were pretty low-income, and didn’t keep their house as clean as they should, but I didn’t mind too much, because if I was going to be there all day, I could help with their house as well.
Boy, was I wrong. The first couple of weeks of watching the kids were absolutely atrocious. The kids were great, but the trailer home they were living in had so many issues. It was unfinished, and in some places, you could see the grass outside through the floor, they had roaches and bedbugs all over, and the plumbing never worked properly (and mind you, I was 8 months pregnant at the time so I always had to pee).
Not only that, but it was a 3-bedroom, 1-bath home yet only 2 bedrooms were in use because the back room was filled to the ceiling with broken hand-me-down ‘toys’ for the kids.
At that time, I was contemplating calling CPS, but when I talked to my fiancé and mom about all of this, they said that I should wait and see if I could help at all first.
So I went out and bought some bed bug spray and roach traps, and I offered to clean for them. They were happy to have the help, so I went ahead and tried, and waited to see if things would get better to make the call. Things continued to get worse when they called me and said they needed me to watch all the kids but the youngest because of an emergency.
It turns out their 2-year-old had to be hospitalized for malnutrition. I decided then to call a social worker I know to see what I should do because I really didn’t want these kids to be taken, but the parents had crossed some lines that weren’t okay. My friend said the kids more than likely won’t be taken away, but the parents will be told that they need to get a bigger house, with working plumbing, and no bugs, and they’ll have to deal with check-ins from the state for a year to make sure everything’s going okay.
So I decided to make the call, and then when they got home I told them I couldn’t babysit anymore and left.
It’s now been a year, they are all living in a 5-bedroom home that’s always clean, and all the kids are super healthy. The family on the other hand refuses to speak to me because I ‘tried to split their family up.’ I’m not sure if I made the right call or if I’m the jerk.”
15. AITJ For Having A Friend Come With Me To The Art Expo?
“About two months ago I bought some tickets to an art expo for my significant other’s birthday. The tickets were pretty expensive, but he likes art galleries and going out for some drinks, so I thought this would be a cute pre-birthday activity. I didn’t buy them on his actual birthday in case he wanted to hang out with his friends.
I told him some weeks ago and he accepted the invitation. I also got reservations for a nice bar so we could go after the art event. His birthday is this Saturday and the event is tomorrow. I also bought the 4th book of a collection he’s reading. I was thinking about giving it to him at the bar at 12pm.
Yesterday, out of the blue, he told me he didn’t want to go because ‘that wasn’t the gift he was actually expecting from me’. I was confused and asked him if he was serious. ‘You know what I want (no, I don’t, he always changes what he wants and if I give him what he wants, he says it’s frustrating because I don’t have the initiative), you wasted money on this and I don’t want to spend the night watching screensavers.
And I’m going to be upset and you won’t enjoy it’. I was shocked and asked him why didn’t he tell me before. ‘I’m telling you now so you can find someone else to go with’. We started an argument and just spent like an hour in complete silence. I started asking some friends if they wanted to go with me because we’re too close to the date and it’s Easter Holiday.
I didn’t want to lose the money for the ticket and the reservation. And I was also pretty upset with him. Well, a friend agreed and was pretty excited to go and was very thankful for the invitation.
After 40 minutes or so, my SO started arguing again and he told me he made up all this scene so I could ‘convince him to go to the art presentation because I didn’t try enough’.
I am afraid of telling him I already gave his ticket to someone else, but I can’t tell my friend that my SO changed his mind. My other friends say that I am not the jerk because he was the one that told me he didn’t want to go and directly rejected and made me rearrange the date but at the same time it’s the day before his birthday and I feel super guilty.
14. AITJ For Refusing To Cook For My Demanding Roommates?
“About five months ago, I struck an agreement with my roommates. My husband and I live with two other people, and we have a pretty small fridge, so there was never any room for anything in it, because there were always two households’ worth of ingredients stocked in it. Plus, it was getting pretty annoying having two sets of people ‘fight’ (not really) over the same kitchen every day when it was time to cook dinner.
So I proposed a deal: everyone contributes to a communal dinner budget, and I would cook dinner for all four of us every day. I’m great at economizing and cooking on a low budget, and not to toot my own horn or anything but cooking is a huge hobby of mine so I feel confident saying I’m not too shabby at that, either.
I like to cook a wide range of foods, which is something my husband loves. For example, Japanese-style ramen, Chinese braised pork over rice, Moroccan curry, shakshuka, pasta salad, grilled fish with roasted vegetables, and authentic Italian carbonara are all things that might show up on the dinner table when I cook.
Things went well for a while, but after a couple of months, our roommates started making requests. That’s fine! Sometimes I would even ask for ideas on what to cook. But then the restrictions came. And came. And came. And just kept piling on. Now the list is:
- no pasta
- no curry
- no rosemary
- no thyme
- no oregano
- no provincial herbs
- no olives
- no Asian noodles
- no soy sauce
- no oyster sauce
- no peanut-based sauces
- no chickpeas
- no lamb
- no pesto
- no basmati rice
- no pork belly
- no sun-dried tomatoes
- no Szechuan pepper, or Szechuan pepper oil
- no vinegar
- no balsamic
- no couscous
- no shrimp
- no fennel
- no garam masala
- no sugar
- low salt
I am sure there are plenty that I forgot but they would definitely be mentioned if I used them.
I like to be adventurous when I cook and I just got really, really tired of being so limited. It honestly felt like I was being handed a new restriction every other day after a while. So I stopped cooking for them and went back to only cooking for my husband and me. But my roommates are pretty upset that I’m not cooking anymore. They have started hinting that they would like me to cook for them again and I just say no.
Am I the jerk?”
13. AITJ For Buying My Dream TV?
“My wife (30F) and I (32M) have separate checking accounts since we’ve been together (over 10 years). We have a shared loan account for our house and vehicles that we pay off together, but we always thought it was important to maintain our own checking. Mostly because we wanted to keep some level of autonomy over our finances, we are both adults and don’t need permission on what we buy as long as we are paying our bills.
That kinda drives into my story. This month has all bills paid and I was sitting on a good amount extra in my checking. I thought I should splurge a bit and get the TV I always wanted. It was a $1500 TV and I love it. I had installers come and put it on the wall while the wife was out with our 10-month-old, as I wanted to surprise her.
She gets home, sees this big TV, and gets super mad at me. She asks how much was it, I told her it was the price but said we are good on bills, so we should be fine. She then tells me that I should’ve put those funds into savings or into our kid’s college fund.
We have NEVER talked about that.
So I get mad back saying that you can’t just get mad at me when there are unspoken rules that I don’t know about. She says that we are parents now and I can’t keep being selfish. That we need to start putting as much as we can in savings in case something bad happens, or into his college fund so he is set up in the future.
She then tells me I should return the TV as the one we had was still a good TV and put that returned money back into savings.
To prevent this from getting too tedious, we argued back and forth on how she built these new rules out of nowhere, never communicated them to me, and now I am a jerk for being selfish and I can’t get what I want anymore. AITJ?”
12. AITJ For Going Off At My Partner For What He Accused Me Of?
“So I (f21) met my partner (m28) of two years online. We had similar interests and worked in the same field and thus collaborated on a couple of projects. After this, we started our own company.
Before I met him, I hooked up with a decent amount of guys. He was in a serious long-term relationship and his previous partner ended up leaving him due to family reasons.
He and I come from polar opposite upbringings, I was taught it was okay to put your foot down for the right reasons in front of your elders, whereas he was taught not to. I have always been a career-oriented person and he recently told me he wants some sort of a housewife, someone who will work with him and exclusively with him, not take up a job (even if it is high paying and makes us financially stable), he has his own business.
I am just about to graduate and want to look for jobs till our small business picks up.
Coming back to the crux of the matter.
I have been visiting my cousin (m32) for some time and staying over at his place. He and my SIL (f28) are some of my closest confidants.
I can talk to them about anything and they will also help me figure out solutions for when I feel stuck. Recently I and my cousin went for a swim in our apartment complex and I told my partner about the same. 5 minutes later I got a call from him accusing me of sleeping with my cousin because we went alone for a swim.
We did invite SIL but she was busy so she asked us to go ahead.
This fight escalated into him calling my cousin a jerk and I lost my mind. I started screaming at him and then cut the call. He sent me numerous texts asking me to apologize to him for screaming at him. And that in his family, after marriage siblings/cousins can’t hang out without their partners, as it is equivalent to being unfaithful.
I simply screened his messages and then back to my cousin’s place.
Now that my anger has calmed down, I feel like the jerk for screaming at him.
11. AITJ For Sneaking Out Of The House While I'm Pregnant?
“I’m 5 months pregnant and my husband had to go on a business trip he had been putting off for over a month. I think he asked his brothers and sister-in-law to keep an eye on me as we all live together and the minute my husband was gone, they started treating me like I was made of glass.
At first, it was nice, my sister-in-law would try to make foods I could eat and my husband’s brothers would offer to help me with things. The longer my husband was gone, though, the more they would fuss over me. If I vomited, they would make a huge deal over it and ban whatever made me sick from the house.
They guilted me into spending all of my time in bed and would get upset if I tried to do anything for myself.
I know they didn’t do it to be horrible but I was going stir-crazy and I ended up leaving the house in the middle of the night on impulse because I just needed space and they didn’t understand that.
I texted them in the morning to tell them I was okay but I needed some space because they were freaking out. They wouldn’t accept my message and wanted to know where I was. They kept calling me nonstop and it was making me feel upset so I stopped replying after I asked them to stop.
I switched my phone off so I didn’t realize they had told my husband I was missing until the next day when I turned my phone back on and I saw he had been calling and texting me repeatedly.
He was so worried he flew home and his brothers had people looking for me.
When I saw him, he started yelling at me and saying things like I was being irresponsible and anything could’ve happened to me and the baby. He only stopped because I started crying and even though he’s being extra nice to me now I can tell everybody is still angry at me.
10. AITJ For Refusing To Sell The Land My Grandfather Gave To Me?
“My grandfather bought land and registered it with my name. My brother is 34 years old, he is married and expecting a baby in 4 months. He doesn’t have a job, and he left his studies without going to college. Every day he watches movies and goes out with friends. Now all in the blue suddenly he wants to become responsible.
He wants to buy a car and start a business. For that, he needs money but our grandfather’s properties are in court so we can’t do anything with them but there is one piece of land available to sell which is in my name. So he asked me to sell the land but I didn’t agree to that.
Now his wife is crying to me to sell the land. They are saying when we get properties from court we will pay you back.
My story is I’m finishing my college degree but I really doubt that I can get a decent job because my grades are very poor. Also, I’m going to get married soon.
If we sell that land we both can start a business. I’m happy to do that but the land was in a rich locality area. We can construct an apartment there then we can get 3 times what we get by selling it. So I asked them to start construction and make more money but it will take a year to see the results still profitable.
My brother is not agreeing to that because he suddenly decided to become responsible and he needs money to do that by selling land which is in my name. So I said no to him, ‘This is my land. My grandfather gave it to me so I will do the construction here. If you want to be responsible then join me, start working and I will share half after selling the apartment.’ They are not even listening to me and keep asking me to sell the land.”
9. AITJ For Telling My Parents That I'm Going To Get The Phone And Car That I Want And On My Terms?
“I (15m) am going to be driving soon. Over the years I have saved up a not insignificant sum of money. Soon I shall buy a car for myself, and I will be liable for all expenses around it. My phone is also getting very old and is nearly inoperable at this point, so I intend to buy a new phone soon.
My mom is a stay-at-home mom, she intends to get a job when I get a car and can handle my own business. I thought buying a car would be a rather straightforward process, but alas, here we are. Every car I find isn’t good enough for my parents. ‘That’s too old, too fast, bad for the environment, too dangerous, etc, etc’.
This has been going on for the better part of a year of me looking around.
With the phone, my parents regularly censor my phone and always track it. I do not appreciate this one bit and they knew that. But fair enough this one was bought for me and they pay the bill for it, so that gives them a greater say over what happens with it than normal.
This phone is ancient at this point and is barely functional, so I told them that I am going to buy myself a new phone with my own plan, or I could pay them for whatever I use on theirs.
So, a few days ago, we had a discussion regarding these things and it got pretty heated right out of the gate.
They basically told me that I couldn’t buy any car that was more than 15 years old, rear-wheel drive, had a high rollover rate, had an average fuel efficiency under 25 mph, or didn’t have traction control.
I told them that I don’t like those terms, and would rather save my funds for college than buy a car I don’t want.
They then said that if they have to they will simply take my money, and buy a car they think is right for me. I told them that if they did that I would consider it theft, and I would not use the car under any circumstances.
Then came the phone. Very similar conversation.
I told them that I don’t want them tracking and censoring me, and they threatened to just take my money and give me the new phone. To which I said I simply will not use it, and I would consider it theft.
Now they are calling me an ungrateful, selfish jerk that doesn’t know how good I have it. I however can’t help but see this as a totally reasonable thing to want what I worked for.
8. AITJ For Asking My Partner To Play In His Room?
“So my partner (26M) lives with me (19F) in my apartment and has done so for a few months. We’ve been together for almost 2 years, and while he’s never been the over-the-top caring type, something happened this week that’s making me insecure in my relationship.
I got the flu on Monday (not ~the flu~, just the normal one) and I was hit hard.
Also got pneumonia and my temperature hit 104 several times. I was staying home from school, and my partner got coworkers to cover his shifts so he could take care of me. Except I didn’t feel taken care of at all.
I had to lay on our couch in our living room since our bedroom can’t be cooled off without having to turn on our obnoxiously loud air conditioner, and loud noises + the worst flu ever + head-splitting migraines just don’t feel too good.
I was also throwing up, and our living room is closer to the bathroom than our bedroom is.
All was fine on Monday when it was my first day of being sick, my partner would sometimes bring me water and get me salt crackers. However, his patience ran out pretty fast.
I asked him to please get me some aspirin from the pharmacy and he got annoyed (the pharmacy is about a 3-minute walk from my apartment), but I was not looking forward to an argument so I got it myself.
No big deal honestly, he told me fresh air and activity were good for me and perhaps it was.
The main conflict happened a few days ago. His PlayStation is in the living room, and I would wake up to the sound of his video games on several occasions. My fever was so horrible that I’d just put some earphones in to block out the noise, but if you’ve ever experienced migraines then you know that in-ear earphones can cause so much pain.
I asked him a couple of times if he could please just use his computer in the bedroom to play his games. That way he could play video games without me being an inconvenience, and I could get some rest without feeling worse because of the bright lights and loud noises.
He did not like that suggestion. He said that the graphics on the computer isn’t as good as it is on the tv, and was like ‘Do you just want me to be bored and not do ANYTHING while I’m taking care of you? I can’t just be quiet and do nothing while you sleep’.
I said sorry and went back to sleep.
The flu got worse, and after asking him to please move the gaming to the bedroom or wear his headphones if he insisted on playing in the living room for two days, he got mad. He said, ‘You don’t want a partner, you just want a nurse’.
I never asked him to stay home.
He’s staying at a friend’s house and my mom is currently taking care of me, she thinks that he’s being childish but I kinda see where he’s coming from. I’m not a gamer so maybe I just don’t get it.”
7. AITJ For Being Jealous Of The Attention My Mom Has Been Giving Her Daughter?
“I (18M) have a half-sister (14F). We both have the same father, but different mothers. I was the result of a random hookup, and kinda left with my father, my sister is the result of my stepmother – who basically adopted me when she married my father when I was 3.
My father ended up a drinking addict in my teenage years and died when I was 14 due to a substance-induced stroke. My stepmother moved on obscenely quickly, but I continued to live with her due to my age. She got remarried when I was 15 and had her daughter who we’ll call ‘Emma’ when I was 16.
I love my mom, really I do, she’s the only parental figure I have left, but it’s like me and my sister became a parasite to her after Emma was born. She’s always singing her praises, posting about Emma, worrying about Emma. If she’s spending time exclusively with us, Emma has to come up at some point, If we try to talk to her, she’ll end up distracted with Emma.
I get this is normal for parents with toddlers, especially since I’m her stepson, but she treats my sister the same way, and it seems excessive, it feels like every thought to her is Emma and we’re just thereafter. Most of the time we aren’t even invited to go out with them (my mom, her husband, and Emma).
It’s gotten to the point I find it hard to even ‘like’ Emma.
Recently we were at a family dinner with my mom’s parents, I’ve always felt awkward at these things because they’ve never really considered me their grandson. Stuff happened, she started praising the heavens of Emma, and she said to me ‘Isn’t she just amazing’, to which I replied, ‘I don’t really care’.
This led to everyone getting awkward about me for the rest of the dinner, and when we got home I was scolded by her husband for embarrassing them like that, and if I didn’t care so much then I could leave. I snapped back saying that ‘I really don’t care about Emma, and I will leave if that’s what you’d prefer’.
I didn’t really mean it, but no one is talking to me now other than my sister, AITJ?”
6. AITJ For Not Wanting To Live With My Brother With Mental Illness Anymore?
“My brother had schizoaffective disorder. If you don’t know what that is, it’s having minor schizophrenia and bipolar disorder, though it can be different depending on the person. I hate to say it, but living with someone that has schizophrenia is a nightmare. Imagine having your door kicked in at 12 AM and your brother screaming that somebody is gonna set the house on fire.
Once our cat peed on the couch. He sat on it and he yelled at me for 20 min that I’m the reason he has no friends cuz my cat peed and it got in his skin and now he smells bad so it’s all my fault. All this and the fact that he does illegal stuff and you can get an idea of what living with him is like.
You get the point. I’m dying to get away from it.
Okay here we go-
I (18F) am preparing to move out to college. Packing up, I have been filling out applications all summer, and have been working to save up. The whole thing.
Well, we’re about a month out and I was in my room packing things up.
He comes into my room and asks “’what are ya doing?”
I explained that I was getting ready to move out, and he pauses for a moment and then explodes.
He said he thought I was joking and how dare I leave him all alone here. He told me that I’m wasting my time and money by going to school and that I’ll be throwing my life away.
He said that my purpose is to take care of him, how could I leave him with parents who don’t love him? And on and on.
I guess I just snapped, I yelled back. I told him ‘Do you have any idea what a pain in the butt you are? I can’t be your babysitter, for Christ’s sake you’re 20.’
He sat there in stunned silence, my mom came in and asked what the yelling was.
When he explained she yelled at me for yelling at him. And that I should consider his points.
I just looked at him and said ‘I’m moving out because of you and your schizophrenia and you can’t stop me.’ And then told him and my mom to get out.
My mom has been pressuring me to apologize, and I won’t.
Even though I said what I did in anger, I meant every word. Does that make me a jerk?
I’m caught between feeling bad, I know he can’t control his head, and feeling justified I’m not going to lie to him anymore.
Should I apologize before I move out? I’m not sure. AITJ?”
5. AITJ For Not Letting My Sister-In-Law's Son Play Games On My PC?
“I have been engaged to my partner Max for 2 years and we have been together for 6. Both are child-free. My nephew Sam is 5 and my SIL’s son Dave is 5.5. None of them have been diagnosed with any mental issues (people love jumping to conclusions). I have ADHD diagnosed.
Most of the time I’m working from home, I’m a part of the team that develops games and into gaming myself. Because of this, I have a pretty powerful gaming PC that is also suitable for editing. PC is located in our gaming room in the house where we also have consoles.
I’m very particular about people who are allowed in the room and can use the consoles or the PC. Apart from my partner, I have some friends and my nephew who are allowed in the room, as they behave calmly and don’t destroy things or rage quit, which results in breaking some of the equipment.
Over the bank holiday, we were hosting a family dinner, my sister and my SIL were both invited and came with their kids. After the dinner the kids were getting bored as we don’t really have a lot of space for them to run around and play, so my nephew Sam has asked if he can go to the gaming room and play Spyro.
I said yes. Dave decided to join Sam which I had no issues with.
About 20 minutes later Dave comes back and starts moaning that he wants to play too and Spyro is too boring. He asks if he can play on PC or the consoles and I say no. I have been at my SIL’s house multiple times and unlike Sam Dave is prone to rage quitting and just in general really destructive kid, who I’ve seen breaking things when he gets annoyed.
Sam on another hand would just put the controller down and leave to calm down. He would also let you know when he is done and doesn’t throw any tantrums if asked to quit the game because it is time to leave or do something else.
Dave started to have a meltdown and my SIL accused me of playing favorites.
Here is where I might be a jerk. I have told her that Sam is my nephew who I see several times a week and I know how he handles things. I told her that I have seen Dave handling things and the last time I gave him something he broke it within an hour.
I have also said that Dave seems to be interested in a bit more adult games and neither I nor my sister believe they are appropriate for Sam due to his age.
My SIL called me a jerk for ‘picking favorites’ and left shortly after. My fiancé doesn’t think I’m a jerk here, however, some of my in-laws believe I was too harsh and should have allowed Dave to play.
Edit: Dave didn’t want to play games Sam was playing/allowed to play. Dave wanted to play things like Call of Duty, GTA, Resident Evil, Saints Row, and Watch Dogs, which are all mostly shooters and are too violent and adult for a child, especially his age. His older sister was enjoying watching Sam play as she doesn’t really like to play games but likes watching others play them. And Sam was showing/explaining to her the ropes. So essentially part of the issue was with Dave saying he doesn’t want to play or watch kid-friendly games which he originally was OK with because he saw ‘fancier’ games which he was not allowed.”
4. AITJ For Demanding My Stepson Pays For The Burned Food And The Takeout?
“My wife has three children. Our daughter (4f) and her son Otis (12m) live with us full-time, and her son Riley (16m) lives between our house and his father’s.
My wife and I stress the importance of knowing how to look after themselves so both boys cook for the family once a week.
The boys know when they will be expected to cook and have time to tell us what ingredients they need. This week, it was Riley’s turn to cook dinner on Saturday. My wife told him where everything was when he arrived on Friday night. However, Riley had other intentions and planned to leave to meet his friends, but he did plan to come back to spend the night at our house.
He did not tell us this beforehand and we only found out because he told Otis that he’d have to cook, and Otis told me.
Of course, my wife and I were unhappy with Riley for this, he knows the rules and what his responsibilities are. We told him that he had to stay and cook before he went out and he agreed.
However, he then deliberately burned the food and left. My wife called him, telling him that we expected him to pay us back for the food he burnt. He spent the night at his father’s and we haven’t seen him since.
His father thinks that we are being entirely unfair. He does not expect Riley to do any chores at his house and doesn’t see why we have the kids cooking/cleaning here.
He told us Riley was having a stressful time at school so we should have let him off for the night and does not agree that Riley should have to pay us back. He also said we were setting Otis up for failure by ‘rewarding’ him for betraying Riley’. He still wants Riley to spend the weekend at our house, but we refuse to allow him until he pays what he owes – the cost of the burned food and the takeout we had to order instead. He wants to come over on Friday night and collect the things he left here last week, but I said I don’t want to see him until he pays me. AITJ? Should I relent and let him come over without paying us back?”
3. AITJ For Being Angry At My Mother For How She's Treating My Son?
“My wife (27f) and I (28m) recently adopted our 5-year-old son 2 months ago. My mother has very strong opinions on the matter of family and believes firmly in blood relations only. So when she found out we had adopted our second child, she wasn’t too thrilled.
A couple of weeks ago was my great-grandmother’s 97th birthday, resulting in a big family gathering.
All my aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins, nephews, nieces, etc were there. This was the first time anyone in our family was meeting our new son. Everyone was thrilled, messaging us beforehand about how excited they were to meet him, buying my great-grandmother as well as our son gifts, and overall being very happy for our family.
Everything was going perfectly well at the family gathering until my parents showed up about 45 minutes later. From the moment my mother saw my son, she behaved coldly, refusing to hold him or even acknowledge his presence. My poor son, too young to understand what was going on, was overjoyed that he was meeting his grandparents for the first time.
When he called my mother ‘grandma’, she turned away, rolling her eyes.
During the family dinner, all the kids ate in a separate room whilst the adults ate in the dining area. At one point, I got up to use the bathroom, when I encountered my son. He seemed visibly upset and when I asked why, he said ‘Why doesn’t grandma like me?’ I was heartbroken and furious at the same time.
I stormed over to the dinner table and started yelling at my mother for how terrible she was being. Everyone just sat in shock at what was happening.
Fast forward to the end of the day, some of my family members seemed to be on my side whilst others said I was being rude and disrespectful to my mother, especially in front of everyone. AITJ?”
2. AITJ For Allowing My Parents To Visit Without Consulting My Wife?
“My wife has had two miscarriages and a stillbirth, and so when she got pregnant for the fourth time, I did my best to support her and any of her strange requests that she made.
During the birth, she didn’t want anyone who wasn’t a medical professional in the room, including me.
I wasn’t too happy with this, because I really wanted to see him be born, but it’s her birth and her body, so I went out without a complaint. Afterward, she stayed the night and didn’t want anyone other than me around. Both sets of new grandparents had been scheduled to come around, but I called them and said she wasn’t ready yet, so they didn’t.
Two days after we came home with the baby, and she still refused to allow anyone around. I understand that a new mother is going to be very protective over her child, however, these are our parents! She has a complicated relationship with her parents, so I don’t mind her placing restrictions on them, but my parents are incredible and are so excited about a grandbaby!
So, I decided to tell my parents that they could come over and see the baby.
I didn’t consult my wife, because I knew she’d immediately shoot down the suggestion and be in a mood for the rest of the day.
They came over, with gifts for my wife and the baby and were absolutely ecstatic. My wife seemed genuinely really happy, my mother gave her tips, and my wife looked relieved to be free of holding and feeding the baby for an hour.
When they left though, her attitude immediately shifted, and she started yelling at me (which of course set off the baby!) for disrespecting her wishes. But he’s my baby too! We both have a child now, and my family deserves to meet him! She yelled at me about her grief over our stillborn baby, as if I didn’t grieve him too! It’s why I was so excited for my parents to meet my healthy boy!
Now she refuses to talk to me, even though we’re trying to care for a baby together. So AITJ?”
1. AITJ For What I Got For My Daughter From Our Beach Vacation?
“I (39F) have three kids: 19F, 18F, and 15M. Two weeks ago, I and my husband went on a beach vacation while the kids were at summer camp, and yesterday was when we all got back home.
Now, while walking along the beach, I stopped at one of the many kiosks where they were selling those beautiful, handmade necklaces.
They made them out of sea shells for you on the spot and engraved any words you wanted on them. And they were all so colorful, pretty, and intricate. I thought I’d get one for each of my kids as a souvenir, so I asked the man selling the jewelry to personalize three necklaces with their names.
The thing is, my eldest daughter (19F) legally changed her name a little over a year ago. It wasn’t for any particular reason – according to her, she just never liked her birth name and didn’t feel like it suited her. Both her birth and chosen names are plain, normal, and regular names, so I never really saw the point of going through all the headaches and bureaucracy, but ultimately it was her decision.
Think of it as going from Sarah to Emma.
Ever since then, she’s been very insistent on only being called by her newly chosen name and always gets upset when someone inevitably slips up, as I and my husband sometimes do. We do try to remember to call her by the name she likes, but it’s a difficult change when you’ve known someone by a different name for 18 whole years.
Now, I asked the man making the necklaces to engrave my daughter’s new name on hers, but as her new name is slightly longer, it didn’t fit on the seashell he was writing it on. And he told me as much, so I asked him to engrave her old one on it instead.
I thought she might be a little bummed, but the necklaces themselves were so beautiful and I’d already bought two for her siblings, so I couldn’t just not get her anything and have her feel left out. Overall, I didn’t think it was that big of a deal.
Well, turns out my daughter doesn’t agree.
As soon as we got back home and gave the kids their necklaces, she completely stopped talking to me or my husband and refused to even look at hers. She’s been avoiding us ever since, and when our two other kids took her side on this one, I started to think that I may have been a jerk. AITJ?”