People Confess Their Wildest Revenge Stories
40. My Boss Faked Being Sick To Go On TV, So I Hosted A Watch Party For His Show
“Around last year my boss disappeared.
Just as we were gearing up for our most challenging, time-intensive project in the last five years, he dropped off the face of the earth.
We kept working for a week or so without him because everything was online and the online work world was still so new, we didn’t really need him.
We were delegating tasks ourselves and completing things on our own. We spoke to coworkers maybe twice a week.
But some decisions were beyond our discretion, so we could not move forward on those aspects of the project until we received a response from him.
After about 7-10 total days of silence, we called his boss’s boss, who informed our team that our boss was ill so wasn’t able to work right now.
We took that at face value. Of course, we sent him letters of well-wishes and didn’t bother him with work stuff, or ask why he was able to notify his boss but not us.
Three weeks go by. Still not a word. We’re beginning to discuss amongst ourselves whether or not he’s maybe died. We’re terrified and horrified and so concerned. We’re contemplating calling his extended family. We’re sending flowers and care packages to his apartment.
Meanwhile, the project has descended into chaos because no leader was appointed in our boss’s stead, so we are forced to navigate several layers of bureaucracy in order to accomplish most anything at all (whereas in the past he would’ve just signed off in real-time).
Around week four or five, one of our coworkers suggests he isn’t really sick but is instead using it as an excuse to take time off. We all jump all over our coworker, asking how he could insinuate something like that, and lamenting about what a tragedy our boss is probably living through.
People were chilly to him for days after that.
Week seven. We’re undertaking a letter-writing campaign to upper management demanding an acting boss be appointed while ours is recovering. The project is a month behind schedule. We’re all working overtime every day, sometimes on weekends, without extra compensation, just to keep up with the cluster-craze of the boss’s sudden absence.
Week eight. He finally reappears, logging into a morning meeting as though nothing happened. He looks well-rested, well-fed, and has a tan. Not at all like someone who’s just come out the other side of a six-week respiratory illness.
He says something quickly to the effect of, ‘Yeah, that was brutal.
Glad to be better and glad to be back. Let’s get to work.’
But he doesn’t want to talk about what happened or answer any of our questions like, ‘Were you in the hospital?’ ‘What was it like?’ Etc.
Fast forward to about four or five months after this.
My sister sends me a promo for a fairly new reality show (I’d never heard of it but it’s on a major platform) and says, ‘Isn’t this guy a friend of yours or something? I swear I’ve seen him and you together.’
I watch the trailer for this show, and lo and behold, there’s my boss.
Participating as a contestant on a reality TV show.
It did not take long for me to put the pieces together and realize he took extended leave to go on TV (that he knew he wouldn’t otherwise get during this massive project) and lied about it under the guise of a vicious disease that nearly all of us had lost a loved one to.
I sit and stew with this information, unsure of how to handle it. I know confronting him won’t get me very far, but I can’t just do nothing, right? I’m not close enough with any of my colleagues to discuss this with them and trust that they wouldn’t run off and send an all-company email about it.
So I slept on it a few nights and then the opportunity fell right in my lap.
I got an email from corporate encouraging teams still working remotely to plan ‘online social functions’ to keep a collegial culture going and to stay in touch.
Among the suggestions were: game night, trivia, and… watch party.
With the premiere of the show only a couple of weeks away I got busy telling everyone how I’d been meaning to get into this show, and it’s so enticing and exciting, basically laying the groundwork to guilt them into coming to an impromptu watch party off-hours.
I offered to get special shirts made up and send them to each person’s house. Whatever I had to do to get the attention of corporate.
Finally, I sent an e-vite to all my boss’s bosses, and any other members of corporate I could justify inviting without making a total fool of myself.
Because this is entirely online, my boss is unable to overhear any of the chatter. He doesn’t realize I’m hyping up this show and he doesn’t realize I’ve planned a watch party for it. I wasn’t inviting him unless he had the audacity to explicitly ask about it.
I was hoping he wouldn’t have heard about it at all! Not until afterward. That was really the only way this could work.
The night comes and I am screen-sharing the show to a whopping 64 people. A huge chunk of my department.
Many members of corporate had showed up because I was the only person stupid enough to buy into their social work party scheme, so they felt pressured to support it.
I was holding my breath, hoping this would go my way, bracing myself for some kind of curveball.
But there wasn’t even that dramatic of a buildup. Right at the outset they introduced the premise (which included the contestants being in an exotic location) and gave a brief overview of each contestant.
As my boss was introduced, right down to what he did for work, I could see people register delight and surprise… then go blank… just before sliding into confusion and rage.
The chat took a drastic turn from ‘Oh my goodness!’ And ‘I knew him when!’ And all sorts of pithy jokes, when a brave member of my team (or perhaps one just pushed a tad too far by all the extra hours he pulled in this jerk’s absence) sent the message, ‘Wait, when was this filmed?’
My audience dropped from 64 to 58 to mid-30s, and by the time the episode was over it was just me and the other 15 core members of the team.
One asked if I’d already known, but some members of the team are very close to the boss, so all I said was ‘Well I definitely do now.’ And wrapped up the call pretty quickly after that.
Perhaps one of the best bonuses is that you could already tell from episode one that the character arc the show assigned to our boss was ‘bumbling idiot’.
He had his true colors on in full display and some production massaging upped them to the 11th degree.
Boss was fired. My good buddy was promoted to his place. I am an office legend now (especially since no one is 100% sure whether or not it was intentional). And it was all so satisfying that it was almost worth the dozens of hours of uncompensated overtime that led to it.”
39. You Want To Drive Hours To See Me After What You Did? I'll Turn You Away At The Door
“My mother is quite a character. That’s about the kindest thing I can think of to say about her. She has been getting increasingly emotionally, mentally, and physically abusive to me and my younger siblings, she gaslights us, blames me for everything, and generally makes me feel like crap.
She’s also extremely religious (Catholic), and into some pretty weird Internet cults and conspiracy theories, like ‘Western medicine is just an instrument for tracking us and controlling us!’ I’ve run away three times and tried to get her reported, but not much comes of it.
For the last four months, I’ve been in rehab after a short stint in juvie. Not gonna get into the nitty-gritty details of why, but I definitely liked the break from her. Didn’t call her. Didn’t go on pass with her.
Didn’t let her come for family visiting time. But my mom is a clingy attack helicopter mom, so she just wouldn’t leave me alone. I had so many freak-outs that my counselors started just turning her away if she came.
Now, she’s a busy lady.
She has three other children who she’s convinced need much more care than they really do. She has places to go and church/cult friends to see. She also has no income, for the simple reason that she’s too lazy to get a job.
Hasn’t had one for 16 years. She can’t afford to waste any time or funds.
One morning, my LADC calls me into her office. She tells me that my mom’s coming. She asks if I want to tell my mom to not bother.
I tell my LADC that my mom can go ahead and come. Mom lives a while away. I’m talking like hours. That’s not counting the time she’s going to waste in traffic. Mid-afternoon, I’m chatting with my therapist about how I’m wasting my mom’s time.
She’s like, ‘That’s a bad idea.’
I’m like, ‘I don’t care. I feel like being a petty jerk today.’ The doorbell rings. It’s Her Majesty. I march to the door and, very kindly, tell her to go right back out to her car and drive back.
I know, it’s not much. But that day, I felt like the king of petty, so do with it what you want.”
38. They Scheduled Me To Work On Christmas, So I Popped My Ankle As Revenge
“This happened a few years ago, but now that I’m no longer with the company, I don’t give a crap about sharing. I was working retail and was the most senior sales associate and had been working at this store for over 8 years at that point.
It was the holidays and obviously, the store was insane. I had put in to not work Christmas Eve as I had closed 2 years in a row and had bent over backward that season for them, not to mention the whole seniority subject.
I get my schedule and I’m working until 9 PM on the 24th. They did it because I could count the tills, thereby making their night easier. Normally I would’ve just bitten the bullet and worked because confrontation makes me anxious but this year was different.
My aunt had terminal cancer and wouldn’t live to see her next Christmas. My managers were well aware of this and scheduled me anyway.
This is where the revenge comes in. Now I knew I couldn’t call in sick without repercussions, so I planned this out way in advance.
I have messed-up joints that dislocate very easily. My ankle is the worst due to past injuries. So a few days before Christmas, I pop my ankle in and out a few times (do not recommend, my ankle is already really messed up so no harm no foul and I was in no physical pain and I knew it wouldn’t cause any real damage).
This obviously makes it really swollen. That afternoon I went to a walk-in ortho clinic and they said I couldn’t work the next two weeks at least.
I hobbled my way into work with my boot on and a doctor’s note in hand.
Told my manager I tripped down the stairs and would let her know when I would be back to work. Collected all my sick time and they were down their most senior associate, who they relied on for basically everything, for two weeks, during Christmas.
This sounds a little extreme, but it was the best decision I have ever made. It was one of my favorite Christmases. I lost my grandma that April and my aunt the following June. The regret I would’ve had if I had missed the last Christmas with two of the best people in my life for a store who didn’t give a crap about me would’ve been unbearable.”
37. Steal The Batch Of Buttercream That I Made? I'll Do The One Thing That Annoys You
“I work at a bakery in a large chain supermarket as a decorator.
All my coworkers are very nice and friendly for the most part, save for one decorator that usually comes in the morning. I don’t interact with her much, but I’ve been told she’s ‘weird’ about how she wants things done when she’s in the kitchen by both the assistant manager and the other decorators.
I notice sometimes she’s short with us, but it’s never bothered me, I always make a point to just be polite.
One of the things she really hates is when the metal tips are left on the frosting bags. It apparently drives her insane and she hates it.
Nobody else cares, and I’ve been told others prefer the tips left on so it’s easier and quicker for them to use rather than them having to dig around in the supply box for a coupler and a tip.
Anyways, I usually split decorating duties with the other decorators, as they do the more fancy cakes and custom orders, and I do the smaller desserts that go out on the floor.
One day, I got in a simple order for some Christmas-themed petite fours due by 12, which is easily like a 30-minute job. I was told by the assistant manager to do those first before starting on my list for the day.
The previous night I had mixed and made buttercream in bags, which I commonly do so the decorators in the morning have something to work with. There were noticeably lots of bags on our supply rack, so I decided instead of making 6 gallons of buttercream for a job that needs probably only a few ounces, I was going to use what we had.
Nope. Co-worker said I couldn’t use any of them because she was decorating for orders. Even though there were multiples of many colors already bagged, I relented and decided to spend the 15 minutes making my own batch of buttercream. 15 minutes later, I start coloring and making my own piping bags.
Then comes co-worker. While I’m literally in the middle of mixing colors, she comes over, takes one of the bins I was mixing, and takes it to use for her own cake. Again, I am not a confrontational person, so I let it slide and opt to use a different color.
~45 minutes of coloring, mixing, and bagging later, I’ve FINALLY started decorating the petite fours. My manager nudges me to move faster because it’s about 15 minutes until 12.
Again here comes co-worker, she comes over and grabs one of my bags from my table, and walks away with it.
Again, I don’t make a fuss, I just decide to grab it back when I need the color again. And when I go to do so, co-worker literally snatches it away from me, telling me, ‘It’s mine! I need this for orders!’
Even after telling her that I’m trying to fulfill an order due in less than 15 minutes, she doesn’t care and deems that her orders are more important to fill.
Took me 2 hours to do something that should have taken 30 minutes because someone clearly didn’t learn in kindergarten how to share. And to make matters worse, when she left later, rather than saving all the frosting she didn’t even use or asking if I needed any, she threw it all away.
Even the ones I made.
So now, whenever I finish decorating for the evening, rather than take off the tips like how I used to, I just leave them on because I know it annoys her. Whenever I finish using a bag for anything, I always leave the tips on. You wanna be inconsiderate of your fellow workers? Well, now you can have the tips left on your bags.
Petty as heck, but it’s satisfying.”
36. Too Busy To Acknowledge My Existence? I'll Call Your Boss And Tell Him
“I’m a truck driver and to say this time of year is stressful is an understatement. Between tight deadlines on loads, customers realizing they need something last minute before the holiday, and added traffic all over the country it’s a nightmare.
Yesterday I went to a customer to pick up a load heading to Iowa so I could drop it for another driver to get home, then grab my load back east so I could get home. I walk onto the dock and the shipping clerk is sitting in the office with her back to me browsing Fingerhut.
The 2 other people in the office made direct eye contact with me but didn’t indicate to the shipping clerk I was there. I tried unsuccessfully to get her attention, but she flat out refused to acknowledge my existence.
At this point, I realize it’s almost noon and they’re trying to blow me off and leave me until after lunch.
I had been up since 03:30 and was having none of it, I had a long way to go and a short time to get there. So I whip out my phone and look at the app we use to send and receive load info, usually along with the customer’s address and pick-up numbers is a phone number for them.
I figure I’ll just call the shipping office and get their attention that way.
Phone starts to ring on my end, but instead of the shipping office, I get the company directory and the first listing on the directory is the plant manager.
Now if my time in the Army has taught me anything you get the best results by jumping the chain of command.
So I hit #69420 for the plant manager and put my phone on speaker. As soon as Fingerhut Fran hears the voice-mail for the plant manager she turns around and starts shrieking.
I calmly raise my finger in the ‘just one minute’ sign and proceed to leave a voice-mail on the plant manager’s line explaining who I was, who I drove for, what load I was supposed to pick up. I finished off by adding that his shipping office personnel were present, but too busy online shopping to acknowledge my existence.
I thanked him, left my number, and hung up.
By now everyone in the office was staring slack-jawed at me, Fingerhut Fran was beet red and fuming. The other person in the office just tells me to back into a door and they’ll get to me soon.
I figure at that point my day is shot and they’ll leave me in the dock as long as possible to retaliate.
To my surprise, they started on me immediately and had me loaded in less than 20 minutes, when I went to get my paperwork the plant manager was there having a discussion with Fran while the other person apologized and told me to have a happy holiday.
I get it, everyone wants this week to be over so they can spend time with their families, but so do I, and that won’t happen if you ignore me instead of doing your job.”
35. If You Won't Fix Your Main Directory, I'll Wake Your Boss Up At 3 AM Every Morning
“Back in the late 90s when house phones were still a thing, our phone kept ringing in the middle of the night after we moved to a new house and had to get a new telephone number. Unfortunately, I didn’t have caller ID.
This went on for months. I was always too sleepy and incoherent to ask for an explanation before the calling party hung up.
Finally, one night, there were two calls, and I was still awake for the second call, so I answered in a business-like fashion, rather than with a sleepy, ‘Hello.’ The person on the other end was in a hurry to get in touch with someone other than me, but at least when I said, ‘You have to tell me why people keep calling!’ they said, ‘It’s in the main directory!’ before they hung up.
Hmmm, there was a large employer near me, Freescale Semiconductor (it used to be part of Motorola and now it’s part of NXP, but then it was a private company.) So I found their main number, dialed it, and listened to the nighttime recording.
It was a long list — ‘For blah-blah-blah, call xxx-yyyy. For blah-blippty-boo call zzz-abcd. For the MOS 11 Fab Main Floor, call Zephen’s home number and wake his butt up.’
Or something like that.
Anyway, it was now 3:30 AM, and I was wide awake.
This was during that brief moment when the web, home phones, and phonebooks coexisted. So, I got on the web, found out the name of the CEO of Freescale, found him in the phone book, got on the phone, and called and woke his butt up.
After I explained the situation, he mumbled something like, ‘Couldn’t you call Freescale security and have them fix it?’
‘Well, I’m sure all of your wonderful employees whoever called me took it upon themselves to try to do that immediately after they realized that an error in your directory was causing them to wake up random strangers.
It seems unlikely your security would listen to me if they won’t even listen to your own people!’
‘Uh, well could you call my office in the morning?’
‘Sure, what’s the number?’
So I chatted with his secretary a few hours later, and she said she’d fix it.
But, of course, that night I tested it again and it was still broken.
So I called his secretary back the next morning and factually explained that it wasn’t fixed yet, every single time I got called in the middle of the night, her boss would as well.
This lady was dumb enough to ask, ‘Why on earth would you do that?’ but smart enough to realize that she’d been adequately warned that her name would probably come up in any subsequent 3 AM conversation between me and her boss, and resourceful enough to get it fixed post-haste.”
34. The Teachers Left The Kids With Me, So I Sang The SpongeBob Theme Until They Came Back
“I worked as a ‘chef’ on a sportfishing boat for a couple of years. One day I arrived at the usual 5:30 AM to find the galley owner loading tons of stuff for the galley. I didn’t have a clue what the day would bring, until around 6:30, when about 60 school kids and their teachers showed up to board.
See, they’d arranged a whale watching trip, lunch included, and didn’t tell me (probably afraid I wouldn’t show up). As soon as the boat left the dock, I started taking burger orders for lunch. At 11:00, I fired up the grill, assembled the fixings, and got to it.
I was a machine, cranking out food at top speed. I was Tatsu, the Immortal Dragon back there, running the galley like a boss.
I finally slang the last burger and started cleanup. I had 60 kids in the salon, and all the teachers had gone topside, leaving me to deal with a pack of excited youngsters.
Oh, you want to abdicate responsibility and stay on deck instead of shepherding this mob of kiddies? Have you a nice, relaxing boat ride?
I stood facing the little monkeys and yelled, ‘ARE YOU READY, KIDS?’
They all yelled back, ‘AYE, AYE, CAP’N!”
I started, ‘OOOH, WHO LIVES IN A PINEAPPLE UNDER THE SEA…’ and the kids took it from there.
Over and over, louder and louder, until the teachers came down to do their jobs and herd them all up on deck to look for whales.
I got $2.00 in tips, and this little sociopath stole it out of my tip jar.
I liked this day. I learned that I could crank out the food, alone, quickly and accurately, at a rapid pace. I enjoyed leading the kiddies in singing the SpongeBob song and messing up the teachers’ peace and quiet.
I also quite liked being called, ‘Cap’n.’ Our crew thought it was hysterical. And the skipper did too, as he could hear the kids over the engine noise up in the wheelhouse.
All in all, it was a great day for petty revenge on the sea!”
33. My Coworker Destroyed Our Annoying Christmas Decoration So I Gave Her A New One In The Mail
“This happened several years ago, but I was thinking about it today because we’re putting all the Christmas stuff away in the office where I work.
Our office Christmas decorations used to include a goofy wooden reindeer that annoyed one of my coworkers.
It was sort of a minimalist abstract thing, maybe about 8” tall. I’m not sure what it was about this decoration that bothered her so much. She thought it was hideously ugly and wanted it out of her sight. She had a great sense of humor, and we joked around together all the time.
At some point, it became routine for me to place the reindeer on the middle of her desk when I showed up in the morning. She’d gasp when she arrived and see it and throw it in the trash. I’d eventually grab it from the garbage and then we’d repeat it all the next day and get some laughs.
This happened all holiday season until we put the decorations away at the end of the year. In fact, it continued for several years in a row.
One year I didn’t pack the reindeer away at Christmas. I held onto it until summer, and my coworker found it on her desk in the middle of July.
She appreciated my persistence, but decided it was time for her to get the last laugh by taking the reindeer outside and driving over it with her car! After driving over it she even backed up and gave it another go.
I couldn’t let it end like that. I took the splintered bits of wood and glued them all back together. She found a now slightly misshapen reindeer on her desk again the next day. She took it away with her at lunch and disposed of it somewhere off property, never to be seen again.
For good measure in the months that followed she’d occasionally pretend to forget about the episode and ask me, ‘Hey, whatever happened to that ugly wooden reindeer?’
That next Christmas I was on eBay looking for Christmas presents, and by chance, I found a nearly identical reindeer.
A lightbulb went off and I knew it was time for my revenge. I ordered that reindeer. I shipped it to the office, care of my coworker, and it showed up just in time for the holiday. She was rather surprised to get a package and initially thought it was probably a gift from one of her kids. I’ll never forget the look on her face when she opened it.
After laughing for a solid two minutes she admitted defeat and displayed the reindeer on her bookshelf permanently after that.”
32. My Professor Stole All Of My Research Work, So I Ceased All Contact
“I was a research assistant for a university professor whilst doing my degree. The professor told me that I could use a portion of the research as my own research paper (required to graduate) and will be given a small research assistant allowance from the university.
The research scope was so much broader than what I initially signed up for and my 11-month contract with the university could not cover it all.
Unfortunately, that professor was also my research paper advisor. The paper would have to be submitted to the advisor and the advisor would release it to be reviewed by a team of professors.
For her research work, I had to do all the work from scratch, from the hypothesis, literature, data collection, data entry, analysis, and writing.
The 11 month period was over but I couldn’t finish. I was stuck with no pay (university can’t make the allowance disbursement as the professor didn’t renew my contract) but had to work for free.
The professor delayed submitting my research paper for the formal review costing me months in limbo as I couldn’t graduate without it and leaving her research unfinished. I had to work day and night for an additional 6 months to finish.
On top of it all, the professor used my writing word for word to get published without putting me in as a co-writer.
I finally graduated.
Six months later, I got a call from the Professor asking for all the data and the entire research work (Everything.
She didn’t do any of it so she has nothing in her record). This is for an audit.
I told her that I ‘lost’ everything, even my backup, and then I ceased all contact. I hope she gets into some form of trouble for it but doubt that she would get what she deserves.”
31. My Ex Wife Declined Us Visitation Many Times, So I Told Her What She Told Me Each Time
“Before I get into the story, let me say that I am not the one using my daughter as a weapon. My wife and I are fighting for full custody of my daughter, Elsa, I had with my ex Linda. My daughter is close to an adult, but has the emotional and mental maturity of a 12-year-old.
Her mother coddles her, has her on a very tight leash, is extremely overprotective, and I would bet has Munchhausen by Proxy (but I am not a medical professional, so I cannot make that diagnosis). My petty revenge does not actually affect my daughter, but it ticks her mother off to no end.
It took me over a decade of fighting just to get her for overnights because my ex would make up these stories about me, my wife, and/or our situation, and run to the GAL, and they would revoke my visitation pending an investigation.
The investigation would turn nothing up, and my visits would resume until the next line of crap my ex peddled. I could give you stories, but I am sure no one here actually gives a crap about what I’ve had to deal with, so I won’t.
But I will tell you a story about some ongoing petty revenge I get periodically.
I had a child with Linda nearly 2 decades ago, and when Elsa was about 6 months old, Linda kicked me out. I was young, stupid, and thought I was in love, but wasn’t.
After a little over a year, I was able to save up to take her to court so I could see Elsa. The look on her face when Linda saw me in court; please refer to the lyrics ‘If Looks Could Kill’ by Heart and you’ll get the idea.
It took nearly a decade, but my wife and I were finally able to get overnights with Elsa, much to Linda’s dismay. She made up excuses like there were warrants out for my arrest in other states, my car was unsafe, I didn’t have insurance, my license was suspended, I gave Elsa my wife’s breastmilk.
None of it was true, and after investigations were concluded, everything was fine. For a little while.
So, after we got Elsa for overnights, the random missed visits on Linda’s part started. Couldn’t get a ride out to the meeting point, she’s sick, etc.
The first year of overnights, Elsa came over for two weekends (April and May), and we didn’t see her again until November of that year. The following year, Linda tried to scam us out of summer vacation citing some school activity—which was bogus.
I mentioned that we could be civil and work things out without getting the court involved, and visitation could be above what the current order in place said. Her words were, ‘I have no problem spending funds on a solicitor, and we’ll go by what the court order says.’
We are in a much better place financially (not millionaires, but able to afford a much better solicitor), and hers has worsened as well as her health (allegedly).
My wife and I have worked with Linda before with changing pickup and drop-off times before since Linda doesn’t like to drive at night. Over the past couple of years, we decided to not work with her anymore. After a couple of times of Linda requesting changing the times, and us declining (giving the same reason every time), she stopped asking.
The actual main reason now is because the kids that my wife and I have get out of school around 3:00 PM, and Linda wanted to meet up closer to 4:00 PM, and with the distance involved, it wasn’t going to happen.
Yesterday, we got a late-night, last-minute request from her. She offered to give us a little bit more time with Elsa this holiday season (a whole, like, 8 hours or something) if we wanted to re-schedule. Her claim was that she wanted to let Elsa spend some more time with her family (she has 4 siblings).
My wife had mentioned that the times were slightly off. With the current order in place, Linda would meet up at 9 PM with us to pick Elsa up. With the change, it would have been 6 PM, when it was still light outside.
If she wanted Elsa to spend more time with her family, then why has she fought us tooth and nail on getting more visitation?
I replied to Linda that we (my wife and I) had requested some last-minute changes before, and we were told that more time was needed to accommodate that request, and thus it was declined.
I used the same words she had used with us many times before.
She again claimed the ‘more time with her family’ bull, but I again declined. If we were not in the middle of hearings and whatnot (just had one a couple of weeks ago), I would have called her out on her lies.
However, I remained polite, and let her believe her lie.
So, every time she requests a change that would benefit her, I will always say what she said to me so many times.
‘We’ll go by what the court order says.’
And that, my fellows, is my story of petty revenge.”
30. Trying To Destroy These Kids' Snowman? Get Ready To Destroy Your Car
“When I was at University we had a day where it snowed and settled on the ground which was rare for our area. Since this was such a rare occurrence there were no snowplows or anything for the whole city, so work and University and school were canceled for the day.
We were outside enjoying the snow and the neighbors’ young kids were building lots of little snowmen out on the edge of the park across the street.
Some moron comes along drifting his piece of crap car along the street and sees the little snowmen the kids have made and totally takes them all out on purpose.
The kids are upset but they build some more and it’s all good. And then this moron comes back along the street and takes them out AGAIN.
So cue the revenge. We figured the guy would come back again at some point.
Just down the street from where they were playing there was a small concrete pole to stop cars driving into the park. So we helped the kids disguise it as a snowman.
After a while, we went back inside and forgot about it.
A couple of hours later we hear this big thud and then a whole lot of angry yelling, and the moron had come back down the street and went to take out the snowman and has slammed the back wheels of his car into the hidden concrete pole, totally messing up his rim, and probably doing some damage to the chassis as well.
29. This Mother Was Being Horrible Toward Her Kids, So I Brightened Her Kids' Day
“Today, I was parked at Wally World, finishing my coffee. Mom and three kids park across from me. She plops the smallest child in a cart from the corral, pushes it 15 feet, cusses about the bad wheel, yanks the kid out, and gets another cart, leaving the first one behind a car.
She gets on her phone and they head in, with her fussing they need to hurry up. I follow a bit later grabbing the cart she left.
Of course, she becomes that one that you keep running into over and over. Loud on the phone, ignoring or shouting, ‘Come on!’ at the surprisingly well-behaved kids, and blocking the aisles.
I got more than one ‘tsk’ with an eye roll when I squeezed by her. I’m just trying to get my stocking stuffers. I know she gave at least two employees grief because she didn’t ‘have time to mess around.’
I get done and am heading out just in time to hear her say, ‘No, I don’t have any quarters’ to the two kids sitting on the ride on horse and race car in the vestibule.
Well, guess who has a handful of shiny quarters he was holding for another coffee—this guy. ‘Hey darlin’, I gotcha. Merry Christmas. You share with your brothers.’
Gave mom a wink and a Merry Christmas. She gave me a half-smile that didn’t reach her narrowed eyes. As the horse started trotting, I made my exit.”
28. Police Pulled Over Innocent People, And My Pastor's Revenge Was Hilarious
“There is a high school and a school zone on a heavily traveled city street where I live. The high school sits on top of a hill. There is a church right before the end of the school zone—right after the top of the hill in the church parking lot entrance is where the police sit trying to catch people going over the 25MPH limit.
They sit right in the entrance, facing the road, using their radar gun on cars that drive by. Usually, the people popping up over the top of the hill are coming back down slightly over 25MPH (because you are likely to go slightly over 25 after trying to get up the hill).
It’s a very obvious speed trap.
I was ‘caught’ by the police. I was set on cruise control at 25MPH and he ticketed me for 27MPH. I told him I was set on cruise control at 25MPH. He said, ‘You still broke the law, son.
No excuse for that. This is a school zone and you’re endangering the kids.’
I had to try very hard not to reply, ‘And you drove 45MPH-55MPH to catch up to me in a school zone so don’t tell me you care about ‘keeping these kids safe.’ I didn’t want to be tasered and beaten.
Well, the local pastor didn’t like the police using his church parking lot to issue citations to people. Many of the folks driving on these roads are lower to middle class and a single $170 citation literally takes food off of their table.
That’s not very Christian-like of the police to do this, according to this pastor, so he decided to do something about it.
The pastor called the local police department and asked them to stop using his church parking lot to scan for speeders.
The city police rejected him and told him they are parking on public easement. I am not a lawyer but I’ve heard this argument before and it’s apparently legit. Citizens just have to suck it up.
I know all these details because I work out with his nephew.
I was still super mad about the ticket so I told his nephew to tell the pastor to get a cheap automated fence installed since they only open the church for church services days, outside of ‘school zone hours’ (Wednesday night, Friday night, and Sundays).
These fences are ‘smart’ connected so he can remotely control these types of fences from his phone. Sure, an extra step. With the fence installed right up to the public easement ‘property line’, there is not nearly enough for a cop car to safely park there, anymore.
The fence cost more than $2,500, though. Didn’t matter—the pastor wasn’t having it. The fence is comically an eyesore. It’s just this weirdly placed fence on an entrance to the church parking lot but no other fences around anywhere on that side of the road.
It definitely stands out as a giant ‘screw you’ to the police. I laughed out loud when I first saw the fence—absolutely satisfying.
The fence has been up for about 4 weeks, now, and I have not seen a single person pulled over when I drive through that zone.
The zone is now a safer place to drive through because people are not pulled over on the side of the road with one of the lanes pretty much blocked (no shoulder—it’s a city street). And we don’t have overly zealous police speeding to pull over single parents driving 27 in a 25 anymore. You know, because kids walking home from school could get hit from speeders.”
27. My Roommate Was A Nightmare, So I Sprinkled Sulfur On Her Mattress
“My roommate and I have butted heads since we got paired first-year college. It’s been three years and she finally moved off campus after I got my petty revenge.
To justify what drove me to take extreme measures, let me give you several examples of what I went through with her.
When she initially moved in she very persistently made me help her clean our room top to bottom, scrubbing floors and even walls for 4 hours. It was over 100 degrees out and I sweat my butt off but I wanted to be nice.
She wanted us to clean 3 times a week for about 2 hours each time which was something I only did the first month before I confronted her and told her while I will keep clean, I cannot keep her schedule.
I’d leave on the weekends to stay with my significant other and mysteriously, my food from the fridge or my snacks would be all over the floor or left out to rot when I returned. First few times I pegged it on getting wasted and eating in the middle of the night and was even stupid enough to apologize.
She taped a border across the floor and would clean exactly at the border, and would throw trash on my side. Asked her to stop multiple times, pointed out the tape border. It was childish but she kept shrugging and telling me, ‘It’s your side, sorry.
Doesn’t matter if it’s outlined or not, it’s your responsibility.’
One weekend one of her friends came to sleep in our room and was in my bed. I told her dorm policy is that she needs my written consent for someone to stay over in our room and I’d appreciate at least being informed next time AND asked if anyone can sleep in my bed.
I demanded she do my laundry (the sheets only) and she refused, saying it was not her job.
Found her significant other’s boxers under my bed after one weekend of coming home.
One Friday she was complaining about how she had no plans and asked me if I wanted to do something.
I told her I have plans with friends but we are a small group and she is welcome to join. Called my friends lame and declined. When I was coming home later I heard her telling her partner on the phone how I was a despicable human being for leaving her all by herself with nothing to do.
The straw that broke the camel’s back was when her mom came over to talk to me about staying the weekends and socializing more with her daughter as I was one of the few people that spoke to her in university.
Why? Because her little girl was misunderstood and special. This was a two-hour conversation where I was personally attacked for using my dorm to sleep and sleep only.
I had enough of her and got some sulfur, waited for her to go somewhere on the weekend, and sprinkled it on her mattress.
Then I proceeded to stay at my significant other’s as she went nuts trying to find the source of ‘rotten eggs’ smell. She called me several times and cried asking me to come back and help her clean.
My response was that since it’s on her side of the bedroom my hands were tied.”
26. Steal My Parking Spot That I Shoveled Out? I'll Douse Your Windshield With Water
“It was a cold winter day. 8 inches of snow had fallen the night before, and the wind chill made it feel as if it were in the negatives (Fahrenheit). I drive an all-wheel-drive SUV so I have no issues getting out.
My wife on the other hand drives a Prius, which slides with the smallest amount of moisture on the road.
My car was down at the time, so we had to take my wife’s car. I spent 45 minutes in the freezing cold shoveling that car out so we could get to the store.
We were gone for an hour, and when we came back, our neighbor had taken the spot I had shoveled.
Our apartment complex doesn’t have assigned parking, but in the winter, it’s understood that if you shovel a spot, it’s yours. So when I saw his car in the spot I had just shoveled, I was pretty angry.
I went inside and filled two-gallon jugs of water. Went back out and poured them on his windshield. Rinse and repeat. I must have poured about ten gallons of water on his car. Being how cold it was, it was already freezing by the time I poured the last gallon on. It sat like that overnight.
The next morning, I got to watch as he helplessly tried to scrape all of these layers of ice off his windshield.
Don’t take my parking spot.”
25. You Just Caused An Accident In The Middle Of The Street? The Cops Are After You, Buddy
“I was driving around knocking out some last-minute Christmas stuff last week, and I’m getting ready to pull into a Target, turning left across traffic from a dedicated turn lane. Another car pulls up in the lane to my right (not a turn lane), stops, and puts his signal on as though he also wants to turn into the Target.
No problem, except that he’s stopped in the middle of the street with traffic rapidly approaching behind him.
I guess a couple of cars don’t see him in time and rear-end collide trying to avoid his dumb self. I pull into the lot, as does he, while the other cars are now wrecked and limping off the road to exchange info.
This guy has NO idea what just happened. He pulls into the Target without a care in the world, cruises around and finds a spot, gets out.
I said, ‘Man, do you realize you just caused an accident because you were stopped in the middle of the street?’
He looks at me dumbfounded, says, ‘Uh what?’ like he was completely out of his mind or something.
‘Yeah, you completely locked up traffic and caused a wreck, and now the police are on the way and I’ve got your license plate info, so I wouldn’t go anywhere,’ I told him.
‘Uhh, crap, man. Uhh.’
He’s just stammering away, obviously messed up.
He’s looking panicky over toward the street where it happened. The cars have since left, maybe the damage was minimal, who knows. But he’s freaking out.
‘Yeah, dude, you probably better stay put or they’re gonna nail you for leaving the scene,’ I told him.
Of course, I had NO idea if the police were actually called or not, nor did I really care, but this guy was a total moron and needed to have his evening speed bumped a bit.
I parked on the other side of the lot, walked into the store, killed about an hour and a half checking stuff off my kid’s list.
When I walked out, the moron was STILL there, pacing back and forth looking over near the road like he was expecting a SWAT van to roll up any moment.
I drove past him on the way out, rolled down my window, and he sees me and says, ‘Dude did you say the cops were coming? I haven’t seen anyone yet and I’m freaking out, man.’
‘Yeah, pretty sure they’re on their way, bud. You probably better hold tight,’ I said as I drove off.
Stupid guy is probably still pacing around the parking lot melting down.”
24. My Lab Teaching Assistant Was Awful, So I Made The Class Send Her Endless Emails
“I am a senior in college, and I am currently taking a Statistics course with a lab. For this lab, we each had to pay a $200 technology fee to be able to use the computers, but there are only 30 computers and 60 students.
My lab teaching assistant is awful. She’s on a power trip all of the time. The first lab we went to, she made all of us stay late just so she could go around and individually watch us print because she didn’t trust us to do so on our own.
Some important backstory here: my lab TA hates getting emails. She always makes us print because of this, despite the lack of computers. She says she doesn’t want to receive 60 individual emails each lab.
During our second lab this semester, we had a section in which we had to print out a page of graphs.
Our head teaching assistant said one graph page per group was fine since there was only one printer, and half of us didn’t have computers. However, at the end of the lab, the bad teaching assistant stated this was not okay with her, and we would have to print out another copy for my lab partner.
I informed her my lab partner, along with half of the class had already left, and she told me to figure out how to get a graph submitted for my lab partner, or I would lose points on my grade.
So, being the studious senior I am, I sent a message to our group chat of 60 students saying, ‘Hey guys! (Teaching assistant’s name) really needs everyone to email a copy of your graphs to her today, even if you already printed.
She said she needs a copy from everyone and it must be done today! If you don’t send it, you may lose points on your lab.’
She received 60 separate emails that night. I often laugh thinking about how confused and angry it made her. A week later, we got an email saying she had been fired for her mistreatment of students.”
23. You Want Me To Come Back To Work? Too Late, I Already Moved Across The Country
“Used to work as a CVS pharmacy technician. At the time, I was studying for board exams to get into residency (I graduated medical school abroad and need to pass board exams to get into residency to practice medicine in the US).
Last year, my last board exam was postponed 1 week before taking it. It was rescheduled 2 weeks later. It was the only time slot available that would let me apply to residency within the time limit. Problem is that I couldn’t find anyone to cover my pharmacy shift for the rescheduled date.
I told my pharmacy manager and she told me that it was my problem and I had to find someone. I was a part-time tech making less than what the job was worth, but it got me by, so I endured knowing it was only a temporary thing.
Anyways, come exam time, I couldn’t find a replacement so I was like, screw it, and missed my shift to do my exam.
I get to work the next day and she fired me on the spot, even though other people she liked more missed days all the time, and no punishment ever happened to them.
It’s no issue because I managed to get into residency across the country. I move there and have no regrets.
Now the petty revenge. She called me a few weeks ago and asked if I was interested in coming back to work.
Apparently most of the techs they hired quit 3-4 weeks into the job because of the horrible work environment (because of customers and other staff). She has no idea I moved to another part of the country. I was about to say no, but the devil in me made me say, sure.
I asked for a higher salary though and she said she’ll talk to her district manager and get back to me.
A few days later, she called me and said that she pulled a bunch of favors and got me a 5 dollar raise (per hour obviously).
She sounded desperate, poor thing. I told her to shove it, I was in residency, living my dream while she’s getting yelled at because the coupon for KitKat bars wasn’t working.
She began to yell at me, but I just hung up and laughed my butt off.”
22. If You Try To Push Your Beliefs Onto Me, I'll Do The Same To You—At Christmas
“First off, I take no issue with anyone’s religious beliefs as long as they aren’t harming others. I fully recognize that every belief system has its share of people who will aggressively try to force their beliefs on others, including atheism.
So, with that out of the way… I grew up in a very religious family but became an atheist in my college years. To this day my family still tries everything they can to convert me back to Christianity. Every year for Christmas they get me some religious book like ‘The Purpose Driven Life’ or something by Joel Osteen.
I have repeatedly asked them to please stop the thinly veiled attempts to force their religion on me and for ten years I have been ignored.
So this year for Christmas I bought my brother a copy of ‘The God Delusion’ by Richard Dawkins, my dad a copy of ‘God is not Great’ by Christopher Hitchens, and my mother a copy of ‘Good without God’ by Greg M Epstein.
The looks on each of their faces as each gift was opened became increasingly angry. Finally, my Dad spoke up and said, ‘What on earth would possess you to buy these blasphemous books for us?’
You can imagine the look of dumbstruck realization on their faces when I in turn asked, ‘So you don’t like it when I try to force my beliefs on you then?’
There was kind of a stunned silence in the room while they stared daggers at me but I was prepared and brought out their real presents. Hopefully, lesson learned on their part, but I won’t hold my breath.”
21. This Kid Bullied Me At Camp, So I Got My Revenge With A Supersoaker
“So this was in the late 90s. I was 9 or 10 in a Christian family camp for a week in the summer. My family was poor and couldn’t afford full passes to the camp, but there was a cheaper pass with which you could attend camp if you performed kitchen duties about 5 times a week.
It was my day to bus tables for lunch so I was refilling juice pitchers when this shaggy cool kid teenager (maybe 16) dumped my ladle and laughed as I picked it up, calling me slave boy. I was Homeschooled and EXTREMELY awkward and anxious so I bowed my head and left.
We ran into each other a few more times and he always made a point of bullying me. Nothing major, but enough to get my blood boiling. Over a few days, I noticed he hung out with other teenagers on some steps in the evening, so I plotted my revenge.
I waited until the evening of the final day of camp, armed myself with a massive water balloon and a super soaker, and snuck up on the group of teenagers. Only this time it wasn’t a group, just him and some girl he was clearly hitting on.
I set my BMX up for a fast retreat, burst around the corner and soaked them both with the water balloon, then hit him with the super soaker as he turned around.
I dropped the gun, hopped on my BMX, and tore out of there, him hot on my trail, screaming, ‘You’re dead now, slave boy!’
I still remember the adrenaline rush as I slowly pulled away from him, pedaling furiously.
I got away and was weaving through recreational trailers in the camping area trying to find my family’s spot when I got Clotheslined, literally, by a clothesline. My bike ghost rode down the field with me on my back gasping. Luckily I was close to my site, where I let the heat die down before venturing outside for my bike.
I know it’s not the most interesting story, but I still find it entertaining when I remember it.”
20. My Neighbor Wouldn't Stop Playing His Music Loud, So I Made His Mom Yell At Him
“I had this neighbor that lived with his mom. He had to be in his late 30s to early 40s. He had a habit of playing the most awful techno music at an unreasonable volume. It’s not like he had people over or anything, he just played it for himself.
If it happened on a weekend, I would let it go and just sleep with headphones. 90% of the time it was on a weekday either at 2 AM or 6-7 AM. Every now and then I would open my window and ask him to turn it down (our houses are very close to each other), but he never did.
We have a stereo in the backyard that never gets used and I thought that it was a darn shame. So, for about a month, when he would play his music during the day in the backyard, I would go and turn on my stereo and play children’s songs, gospel music, mariachi music, or metal songs just a little bit louder than his.
After about 10 minutes, he would turn off his music and go inside. Then I would turn off mine and go inside. I could tell that it irritated him and it made me smile.
After months of him playing his music in the middle of the night, I finally decided to skip asking him and I called in a noise complaint at like 2 AM.
He lives in the back house, so when the cops came, they knocked (very loudly) on the front door and his mom answered. She’s an older Mexican lady that likes to yell. I heard her yell all the way to the back house and cussed out her son in Spanish for making the cops show up to her house in the middle of the night.
The yelling went on for a good 5 minutes. The officer was trying to tell her that he just needs to keep it down, but as soon as he told her that they would have to come back if someone complained again, she started yelling at her son all over again.
I was exhausted, but I stayed up to hear every second of it. It was amazing.
He never played his music at a ridiculous hour again and they moved out about 4 months later. (They were renting and the owner of the house moved back in).”
19. The Vending Machine Ate My Three Dollars, So I Called The Service Number
“When I was in high school I had a bit of a ritual for the mornings. Wake up, wake my sister up, go to school, chill in the library and get a drink from the vending machine for first period.
For anyone who knows me, they know that I take my plans and daily rituals very, very seriously.
My whole day could be put out of whack if I messed something up and wasn’t able to fix it. So one day when I was trying to buy a drink from our school’s vending machine, it ate my dollar. That was fine, it did that sometimes so I put another in and another.
I realized after three, the darn thing wouldn’t give me a drink and I was mad.
I wasn’t very productive in first period that day, which to this day I still think is childish. I remember asking our school custodian if he could do anything, which he said he couldn’t, so I went to teachers, and they said the same deal.
That went on until I went to the principal herself and she told me only someone from the company that the machine was made from could open it. Just so happened that it was from Coca-Cola.
Honestly, I think most people would have just quit way sooner than I did.
Like, it’s just three bucks, right? Well, apparently not to 16-year old me because I went right back to the machine, found the call number on it, and proceeded to rant about my situation to the poor help desk lady on the other end.
She said she’d see what she could do and I kid you not, not a day later did I hear my name over the speakers along with, ‘Can you please come to the front office?’
And sure enough, some poor idiot that looked like he’d seen the firey pits of heck, gimped up in a Coca-Cola jumpsuit, was there to get me my three dollars back.
When we got to the machine, he opened it up and looked up, and asked me, ‘How many bucks did this thing eat?’
And no questions asked he just took five ones from the machine, gave them to me, and gave the thing a troubleshoot to make sure it was working. And that is the story of how I got a whole two dollars extra from the vending machine that decided to tick my teenaged self off.”
18. Our Neighbor Takes Up All Our Parking Spaces, So I Made Her Run Late
“I (22F) live at home. We have a neighbor (M) who is renting out the rooms in his house to K who has been living in the room now for about a year. She has three cars for no reason, two are Camrys and the other is a Sentra.
Before she moved in, my sister and I would always park in front of our house. My dad made it a point that we were to only park in front of our house because he thinks it’s rude to park in front of neighbor’s houses because it’s in front of their property, and we have security cameras that are only pointed at our property, so if something were to happen to our cars, it would be on camera.
Now that K lives there, she parks one car in the driveway, another in the middle of the street in front of M’s house, and the other Camry in front of our house. There’s no room for another car anywhere. the street that can fit four, maybe five, cars now only has 2 cars on it.
My sister and I don’t have anywhere to park, so we have to go to the neighborhood over to park.
A while ago my dad put the trashcans in front of our house as per usual, and when I was coming home from work, I got stuck behind the trash picker-upper guy and he passed our house.
I noticed that the trash can was up on the curb and K was parked where the trashcans were supposed to be. They’re usually on the street, and once emptied, dad takes it to the house. The trash was full, and K moved our trashcans to park in front of our house.
I ran the trashcan to another block to see if the trash guy would still take it. Another neighbor (B) saw me doing this and helped. B helped me bring them back and told my dad what happened. Dad went over to K’s and told her never to touch the trashcans again and to stop parking in front of our house, he explained why (cameras, my daughters can’t park, etc.).
It is now December and it has not stopped. My dad called M and asked him to talk to K. We heard M yelling at K, but it still hasn’t changed anything. A few days ago, she parked the Camry in front of our house and took the Sentra out.
When I got home, I decided to park in front of her, blocking my parents’ driveway and leaving NO room for her to get out from the front. My sister got home and I had her park behind K’s Camry and left her no room behind either.
The next morning, I was getting ready with the window open and K asked me to move one of the cars so she can leave and that she was running late. I told her that I was taking a shower and she’d have to wait, it’s not my fault she’s running late, and if this was such a problem, she should stop taking up so much space with 2 little cars. She struggled for 20 minutes but did end up getting out.
Since then, I’ve been doing this daily, and my family and other neighbors like B help by telling me how close to get.”
17. My Sister Won't Let Me See Her Kids, So I Gifted Her Toddler An Extremely Noisy Toy
“My sister (31) doesn’t like me (27). We’ve had issues for years and don’t speak. However she has three children, and I have always made a point of getting them birthday and Christmas gifts because the issues she has with me are nothing to do with them.
However earlier this year I was talking to the oldest one (11 year old) on their phone, after they got my number from other family members, and my sister found out and changed their number so I could no longer contact them at all.
Her excuse for this was that I was ‘slandering’ her (never said anything) and because I didn’t ask in texts how the other 2 children (both babies) were doing. I asked in phone calls but there’s no record of that obviously.
My sister’s other issue is that I don’t try to see them when she has banned me from her house and rarely takes them to see other family.
It’s all very complicated but I haven’t met the youngest child, and the other baby (2) I have only seen 6 times.
The eldest one grew up with me there a lot and I would regularly take them to school, and on days out, I even took them to Halloween events even paying for my sister’s ticket too.
So Christmas is coming up and obviously, I will be getting the children gifts, because it’s the right thing to do.
The eldest will be getting a gift card for their favorite game, the youngest will be getting a gift card (they’re not even 1), but the 2-year-old will be getting an incredibly noisy educational first words book, with batteries already inside and spare batteries for when it dies. It has lots of buttons to press and will make a lot of noise. I mean since I can’t see the children to know what they want or need, I guess I can’t get anything else.”
16. Belittle Me While I'm Trying To Buy From You? Enjoy The 300 Calls You're About To Get
“Back in the early-mid 90s I drove an El Camino and serviced office equipment. I was always working on that Camino and keeping it running with the cheapest method possible, and a lot of the time that was with used and/or junkyard parts.
We had alphanumeric pagers for work, the ones that they could send our calls to and we could see all the info on the screen. Sometimes they would go bad and we would have to go swap it for a new one at the ‘pager store.’
One of the times I had to get a new pager, I got one that had previously been in a large group (an urban task force).
I found out that because I got a lot of messages that were unrelated to office equipment and one had a number that I called. The gentleman I talked to told me how the pagers in that group were set up to be paged with their cap code (similar to cell phone IMEI), instead of a phone number.
But, they could all be paged at once with a particular phone number. I wrote that number down and saved it without really thinking much of it. He also said there were about 300 pagers in that urban task force, all paged with that one phone number.
So, back to that El Camino. One of the times it broke, I didn’t know what to call the part, and didn’t have Google at that time to be able to try to look it up. So, I called the junkyard and tried to describe the part the best I could (today I can’t recall what part I needed).
But, the guy at the junkyard cut me off and said, ‘It sounds like you don’t know what the heck you’re talking about,’ and just generally became a jerk about trying to help me since I didn’t know what to call the part I wanted, although I found it broken and causing an issue.
I tried to explain that I was inexperienced and was just trying to find the part I needed. He continued to belittle, so I just said, ‘I guess I won’t be buying anything from you’ and hung up the phone.
Then I remembered that pager number that paged 300 pagers. I dialed it and entered the junkyard office number.
I hope he had fun answering the phone to people asking if someone paged them.”
15. This Guy Double Parked So I Made Sure To Make Him Wait Extra Long To Get Out
“I ordered to pick up at my local grocery store which has designated parking for pick up orders. Someone who seemed to have a regular order decided to double park in the last 2 ‘pick up’ spots remaining. Luckily there was an opening just opposite of these 2 spots so I parked there in the meantime while waiting for a worker to be available.
Eventually, after a worker finished filling up another customer’s car, I notify them, ‘Hey, I’m parked here close by,’ as there’s nothing else available. But since I wasn’t in a designated spot, I seemed to perhaps get a lower priority than those linked to a designated numbered spot so I had to wait much longer.
After enough time, the person who double-parked taking the last 2 designated spots came out of the store with their groceries and loaded up the car. As they prepared to leave I decided, why not have a little petty revenge to make them slightly inconvenienced?
As they started their car, I decided to take out my phone and pretend to be busy with it while standing in a position that would prevent them from backing out of the parking spot.
Not too close to the car, but not too far either. But also with my back slightly turned more toward their vehicle so it would seem that I’m just oblivious to the vehicle and perhaps would continue walking any moment after looking at my phone.
This went on for about 15 to 30 seconds when I got a new lucky break. The grocery worker came to deliver my items. So I stopped grocery worker kind in the middle of the parking lane still with our backs turned to the vehicle wanting to back out, and started to try to use my phone to verify the grocery items being delivered.
Then after another 15 to 30 seconds when the worker noticed the reverse lights as the car tried to back out very slowly. The worker started moving the cart out of the way as I pretend to be oblivious for a little while longer to extend this petty revenge as long as possible.”
14. I Used To Hop My Neighbor's Fence As A Kid, And Her Revenge Was Super Petty
“Growing up, my parent’s backyard connected and shared a fence with 3 neighbors—next door, directly behind, and diagonally. I had friends who lived diagonally to us, so to get to their house I would hop the fence and take maybe 5 steps in the corner of the neighbor’s yard directly behind us.
I was probably 11 or 12 at the time, and my parents didn’t see a major issue with it since the property had about a half-acre between the fence and their house.
In hindsight, and now as a homeowner, I’d be super annoyed that a kid was doing this on my property without asking and I’d probably talk to the neighbor about it to give permission first.
But that’s not what happened.
After doing this a few times over the course of a month or two, I looked out the window one morning and saw the neighbor who lived behind my parents walking straight through our backyard. By the time I told my dad, she was at our gate and went through it to our front yard.
My dad confronted her and asked what the heck she was doing, and sarcastically said, ‘I’m just visiting my friend, this is a shortcut.’
So petty and weird—I respect her for it. But she moved shortly after and was accused of poisoning another neighbor’s dog. So I’ll stick with petty and weird.”
13. Oh, Are You In A Hurry? I'll Go As Slow As Possible Just To Tick You Off
“Some info—I am disabled. I use a walking frame to keep myself from falling over on a regular basis. With it being Christmas time, I have my frame decked out with cute, hanging ornaments that include a set of jingly bells that chime as I walk.
In other words, I’m hard to miss as you can see AND hear me coming!
Currently, my Mum is in hospital so I am visiting her daily. Normally not a big deal. Not so much today. Our city hospital has a courtyard that you have to cross to reach the front doors.
Said courtyard is paved in cobblestones. Cobblestones are the bane of my existence. Uneven, lumpy, threatening to make me fall as my walker catches the edge of every. Single. One. I swear!
As I was shuffle hopping my way across the courtyard this morning trying very hard not to kiss dirt, a woman (let’s call her Karen) came barreling by on her oversized electric scooter.
She was easily going at her top speed (whatever that was), far too fast for an area filled with patients in wheelchairs, on crutches—and me. Karen was a woman on a mission, headed right for the doors while clocking a Mach 10.
She flew so fast and so close to me, she almost knocked me flat!
I stared at her in shock as she zipped by without so much as a howdy-do let alone an apology. After I got steady on my feet, I contented myself with a huff and a glare at Karen’s back and resumed my shuffle hop towards the doors.
(The Canadian glare of disapproval is not to be trifled with).
When I got inside, I saw Karen having a chat with security. She wanted to skip the check-in station. He was telling her no. At that moment Karen saw me come in and tried to beeline it to check-in before me.
Well, I wasn’t about to let her flatten me again! So I hauled myself ahead of Karen and cut her off! (Insert indignant huff behind me).
I then had the most wonderful 5 minutes of pure petty vengeance. Since Karen was in such a huge hurry to get places, I slowed down and took my time talking to security at the check-in desk.
Hello! It’s such a pretty day, isn’t it!
Oh, you need my documents? It’s on my phone, one second. Oops sorry, scrolled too far. Here ya go!
My ID now? Let me get that for you.
You want me to sanitize? Sure! Very important, yes.
Let me make extra sure I do a good job! Back of my hands, in between my fingers.
Yes, I do need an inside mask, thank you! Let me just take a moment to change masks before I go into the hospital.
All those vulnerable patients, can’t be too careful!
Thank you for your help! You have a great day!
Behind me, Karen was huffing and puffing. I’m very sure security knew exactly what I was up to as she was grinning SO big.
When I was done and started my shuffle hop across the lobby, I heard Karen talking loudly behind me about being late. I got to admit it warmed the bottom of my dying heart and I was beaming behind my mask!
Peppermint scented perfection with some glitter on top!”
12. You're Mad At Me For Making You Wait In Line? Sorry, Can't Sell Without ID
“So I work at a gas station that sells the usual assortment of things that are bad for you, both age-restricted and not. I was filling the coolers, which open from behind, when somebody comes around the corner and asks if I am working the register.
I tell them yes and circle around the building to go back in.
As I am walking, somebody going towards the register mutters something about having been there for 10 minutes already. I was literally watching the lead-up to the register from inside the coolers, peeking my head around the corner, and even going into the aisle to check where drinks went from the front.
This guy just pulled up and is giving me crap for no reason.
I don’t know why, but this always makes my blood boil. I’ve worked retail my whole life, so I’m pretty good at choking the rage down and suffocating people to death with kindness.
Honestly, I’m no good in a fight, physical or verbal, so this works for me. L’esprit de l’escalier leads to some nice barbs to toss around once everyone is gone and I can vent a bit. Anyway, the guy is last in line and I’m thinking about how to handle this.
I could ignore it and continue as normal. That would be peaceful. I could be short with them and less polite than usual, passive-aggressive. I could be rude as heck, insist they hurry through everything because they clearly had been here too long as it was.
I could just be slow as ever, blame it on computer problems. Heck—it might happen anyway.
They get to the counter. I’ve decided to just try and get them gone quickly. Then they ask for smokes and the penny finally drops. ID.
They’re old enough I wouldn’t normally ask, but young enough my boss would have my back for asking. I can waste their precious time and be a good little cog in the machine.
They don’t have it.
They don’t have an ID of any kind. ‘Sorry, can’t sell without ID.’
Off they go, time wasted, vices unfulfilled, into the cold. Sleight to payback in record time.”
11. Either Watch Where You're Piling The Snow, Or Watch Where You Step
“My parents own a home in a snowy state in the United States. They don’t have any neighbors to the right of them, just a gravel parking lot that is used by employees of the credit union that is on the street behind their house.
The credit union employs someone to plow their parking lot during the winter and this person tends to pile the snow up at the top of the parking lot near the front of my parents’ lot where the house is.
When it starts to melt, the runoff from the snow pile that has been built up all winter floods my parents’ basement.
Usually several times.
My parents are obviously exasperated and have tried to talk to the credit union about where their person plows the snow to and it usually stops for a time. However, they’re right back at it again a few weeks later and no one they talk to is apologetic or willing to admit any fault or reprimand the plower.
They also take their smoke breaks in the parking lot either in or by their cars with the windows rolled down directly by my parent’s bedroom windows even after they asked them to take them somewhere else.
So my mom’s petty revenge is to shovel her dog’s poop off her yard to near their cars so they have to watch their steps or face getting poop on their nice shoes.”
10. My Film Crew Was Horrible, So I Got My Revenge In The Credits
“I’m a film and tv editor, and recently worked on a project that… How shall I put this?
The camera operators couldn’t frame a shot, couldn’t focus properly, and couldn’t keep the cameras steady.
And the only thing worse than the camera operators was the sound department, who couldn’t set up a microphone that didn’t constantly have popping sounds when someone spoke into it too loudly.
Keep in mind, this is a professional TV show, for national broadcast, shot in Los Angeles. It’s not supposed to be amateur hour.
Well this show, like all shows, has to be exactly X minutes long, to the second. So to give ourselves some wiggle room, we use the credits as an accordion of sorts.
Show is 7 seconds too short? Credits get 7 seconds longer. That sort of thing. Not by a lot, we’re talking a maximum of 10-15 seconds of adjustment. Anything more than that and we’ll adjust content during the actual show.
Well, when we were all finished, the show was four seconds too short, so I had to go into the credits and extend how long each card was on screen to make up the time.
Typically I’d count the number of title cards, figure how much time we needed, and distribute those frames evenly amongst all the cards.
Except for this time, I made sure the company that provided the camera and sound ‘crews’ didn’t get extended by a single frame. The card with their credit stayed at the absolute contractual minimum, and I spread the remaining frames amongst all other credits except theirs.
My itch for petty justice has been satisfied.”
9. My Shipmate Had No Idea The Revenge His Ex Was Plotting Against Him
“When I served in the Navy there was a shipmate of mine who had the live-in partner soap opera going on. Every day it was something new, seemed they liked to torment each other. Finally, he had enough and was going to end the relationship.
The ship was going out to sea for one week to test the repairs made on the propulsion systems. The morning we were pulling out he gleefully came to work and announced he had told her to leave by the time he gets back.
We were all happy as well as we could not take much more of the drama. That is until someone brought up the fact we are gone for a week, and she can totally destroy the apartment and clean out all his belongings.
For an entire week… ‘Do you think she would do that?’ I wanted to choke the guy.
We came back from sea, he came in the next morning announcing not a thing was wrong. Her stuff was gone, and the apartment was the way he left it.
We were all relieved.
This is the part that reveals my age. Way back when a million years ago there were telephone long-distance rates. Long-distance rates were somewhere around 20-30 cents a minute for calls in the United States, quite a bit more (at least double) for international calls.
Okay, keep those prices in mind.
About a month later, my shipmate gets a phone bill for a few thousand dollars and we are laughing our butts off. The young lady had a brother stationed in Japan where she found out the phone number to the Time and Temperature line.
She called the Time and Temperature line in Japan and left the phone off the hook. He does remember hanging up the phone but didn’t think anything of it. The bill came in a large envelope of many pages, and you could see the rate changes when the peak hour rates ended and started for an entire week—funny as heck.
In the end, the phone company agreed to average that bill with a years’ worth of bills but it was still a good chunk of money back then.
I say, well played!”
8. The Moment I Spilled Glitter On His Tools I Knew We Were Done For Good
“We’d just broken up. It had only been a day, but I knew for a fact that it was over. Really and truly, forever over. And I was heartbroken. It had been my first serious relationship, and I was ridiculously sad about it being over.
Now for some background—I like glitter. It’s a whole thing. I know some people think it’s the swine of the craft world, and they’re honestly not wrong… but I still don’t give a crap. Glitter is amazing, makes the world shiny and I almost always have some on me.
During our whole relationship, I had this habit of putting a single speck of glitter on him, on his things (wallet, Xbox controller, etc.) and he would always find it, and it was a cutesy thing we did.
Anyway, after the breakup, Sad Me thinks to her dumb sad self what a great idea it would be if – after he comes to get his stuff and takes it home—there are tiny speckles of glitter here, there, everywhere! He would find them and it would, of course, remind him of me, of us, how shiny we were and he would come running right back to me…
or at least be appropriately sad like I was sad.
Girls are dumb, I know.
But it’s okay because apparently, I have some sort of jaded old maid for a guardian angel, and so when I opened up the toolbox (ostensibly to place a speck or two of glitter on just a few tools) somehow my hand slipped and I accidentally spilled the entire vial of superfine gold glitter all over/in his greasy tools inside the toolbox I had only just opened.
There wasn’t even any glitter on the floor, it was all in the box.
There was no saving it. I knew immediately that—just like our relationship—it was done, and over. That glitter was there to stay. I closed the toolbox and left the room.
He came to get his stuff two days later, and we haven’t spoken since.
To this day I have absolutely no idea if he ever found the glitter (he never once opened the toolbox in the six months we went out) let alone how he would have or did react. It is Schroedinger’s Glitter.”
7. I Pretended To Be An Auto Repairer To Give This Lady A Taste Of Her Own Medicine
“Back in the 90s, our landline phone number was one digit different from an auto repair workshop and I would frequently get calls from customers misdialing looking for this repairer. No big deal, I’d just let them know it was an easy mistake, maybe have a laugh.
But it was starting to become a bit of a pain.
One day I got this call from some lady, and I said hello. The first thing out of her mouth was, ‘Is my car ready yet? I’ve been waiting all day and I have important things to do.’
This irritated me instantly with her rude attitude, so thinking quick I asked her name and said I’ll go find out.
I put the phone down and went outside to have a smoke and had to think about what to say. After a few minutes I picked up the phone and informed her that I’d just spoken to the manager and he told me that after a good bit of haggling, he managed to get $2000 for the car and if she could come down this afternoon, he would have the payment for her.
This as you can imagine went down like a lead balloon. She lost the plot big time saying it was only in for repairs calling us thieves and threatening to call the police and she would have us all arrested if her car wasn’t there when she came to collect it when the taxi dropped her off.
I said, ‘Sorry but it’s not here. It was taken about an hour ago and if you want to come down and have a chat with the manager you are quite welcome to. Sorry, I have to go, we are very busy,’ and hung up.
I’ve always felt a little guilty for that poor manager but would have loved to have been a fly on the wall when she turned up.”
6. What Was Meant To Be A Prank Ended Up Becoming Something A Lot More Sinister
“This story goes back 30 odd years and although the revenge intended was petty, the ramifications may have had a slightly more significant effect than intended.
So back in the ’80s, a movie called Gremlins was released. For those that aren’t familiar with the story, it involved a furry little creature called Gizmo that was a Mogwai.
Ownership of Gizmo came with three specific rules. It must be kept out of sunlight, which would kill it. If it got wet it would multiply and if you fed it after midnight it would turn into a little green Gremlin and all sorts of bad stuff would happen.
My best friend’s brother was about 8 years old and he had a little stuffed Gizmo toy that he treated as if it was real. He kept it away from water and bright light and only fed it during the day.
Just typical cutesy type behavior from a little kid.
My friend and I were a few years older and his little brother would always want to hang out with us and we would often play around the creek next to his house.
One day the younger brother fell in the creek and got soaked so we told him to go home. Because he didn’t want to get in trouble he lied and told his mother my friend had pushed him. When we went inside I was sent home and my friend was sent to his room despite protesting his innocence.
While in his room he began plotting the revenge of an indignant 11-year-old.
He shared a room with his brother and Gizmo who slept in a shoebox with a handkerchief for a blanket. My friend had waited for his brother to go to sleep and got up in the early hours of the morning and placed some leftover chicken bones in Gizmo’s bed.
He then woke his brother up and told him he needed to check on Gizmo. Careful not to turn on a bright light he reached into the shoebox to retrieve Gizmo and found the eaten drumstick.
He then proceeded to completely lose his mind.
Convinced that Gizmo was about to evolve into a maniacal Gremlin, he started screaming at the top of his lungs. This brought his parents running into his room and they turned on the light. In a panic to protect Gizmo from the bright light he reached out to cover him and fell out of bed, hitting his head on the bedside table.
This cut his head and caused him to start bleeding.
Now he was crying, screaming, and bleeding and had to be taken to the emergency room where he got a few stitches. Needless to say, my friend got into a lot of trouble for his actions and his brother had a hard time going to sleep for a few weeks. What was meant as a prank turned into something far more sinister but I guess you can never know just how effective your revenge will be.”
5. This Driver Got On My Nerves, So I Left Him In The Cold
“This happened to me a couple of days ago.
I had a non-urgent errand to do and was driving along a narrow road with cars parked periodically on one side which left only enough space for one car to drive at any one time, so cars going in opposite directions would have to wait till the other had passed.
Another car was driving 30 meters or so ahead of me and as they cleared a set of parked cars on my side of the road, I could see a car waiting to come the other way. At the same time that I drew level with the parked cars, the other driver decided they’d waited long enough and started moving.
So now we’re driving head-on and with self-preservation in mind, we both come to a stop around the middle of the narrowed section. There’s no hard rules about who has priority but I figured I had the moral high ground as I was already moving when I entered the section, but the other driver obviously didn’t agree and now we’re a couple of meters apart.
He gestures that I should reverse the 10m or so to let him pass to which I respond the same and point him back.
This seems to anger him and he starts vigorously pointing and mouthing something. I ignore and point at him again.
He inches closer to my car in response.
I’m in no rush, I could sit here for a while and wait. However, in the spirit of human brotherhood and because I am a mostly nice person, I decide I will reverse to the gap.
I’m only mostly nice though, so I also decide to be petty about it.
I sit for a minute longer and point him back to infuriate him some more and I put some life lessons into practice. I’ve learned from being an internet user that the only thing more frustrating than no Internet is slow Internet.
So I start to reverse very, very slowly.
I have plenty of space on either side and I have a reverse camera view so there’s no risk of actually hitting any cars but I can see him in his car getting ever more frustrated.
I keep reversing inch by inch and reach the wide section. He’s crept forward as I moved back so we’re still quite close and I can see him throwing his hands in the air in frustration.
To continue my pettiness, I continued reversing in his lane needlessly for a few meters more (and so still preventing his progress) before finally swinging my car to my side of the road and letting him pass.
He comes forward and I can see he’s wound his window down—presumably to have words with me. I have no interest and my window is up anyway. I then realize I have Providence’s favor because by reversing the extra needless distance and him pulling up alongside, I have a clear path.
So as soon as he comes to a stop, I look straight ahead and not in his direction, I put my foot to the pedal and I zoom off, leaving him with his window down in the cold weather and hopefully costing him a few extra pennies in fuel to heat his car.”
4. I Mess With Scam Callers Because It's Satisfying To Waste Their Time
“With the new dynamics of the era, I became very annoyed and ticked off my phone number and email are berated by spam bull crap from various countries and also companies. I’m in Media and abide by consumer privacy rights legally.
Well mid-2020, I started answering a call here and there and tried to keep the person on the call for as long as possible asking ridiculous questions.
‘Oh, so you’re from (insert fictitious government body)?’
‘What’s your (government body) identification number?’
‘My car insurance is almost up?’
‘What can we do to fix it?’
‘You can assist with my student loans?’
‘Wow, that’s great! Sign me up.’
Thing is, I haven’t owned a car in 15 years and definitely do not have student loans as I did not go to college.
Newest one today. Two calls from Myanmar and two FT Lauderdale back to back. I’m just waking up and doing my phone and Gmail routine. So I proceeded to block the foreign number and called the FT Lauderdale number 25 times in a row.
The few times they answered (I heard call center atmosphere in the background), I hung up. After the 23rd call, I believe they blocked my number (I might start calling back after I write this to check).
It’s petty, I know and it takes a few minutes out of my life. But it is absolutely amusing and knowing that I’m wasting their time is somewhat satisfying. It’s also taking time away from them spamming others.”
3. My Housemate Threw Out My Things, So I Decided To Declutter Some Of Her Things
“I met my current housemate when she was renting a house that I moved into. The house had heaps of space and it was never cluttered apart from the fridge and freezer.
Every now and then she would randomly decide that the kitchen drawers or something needed to be cleaned out and would throw away anything she deemed to be useless without asking anyone if the items belonged to them.
My things would disappear from time to time but I gave her the benefit of the doubt because a lot of people would come and go. We had to move and just the two of us decided to get an apartment together so we decluttered all of our personal belongings to start fresh.
We haven’t even been in this apartment for a year and my stuff would still go missing forever if I left it anywhere other than my bedroom or bathroom. Girl, what did my unopened can of organic pinto beans do to you?
I was home alone around 2 or so weeks ago and took it upon myself to decide that there was a little bit too much clutter.
To help her out, I took one (just one) of her electric hand mixer whisks and put it in the bin. I completely forgot about it until a few nights ago when she was making herself dinner and needed the electric mixer.
My bedroom backs onto the kitchen so I can hear everything. It started off with a few searches of the kitchen which then led to (what sounded like) the entire kitchen being torn apart to find this one whisk attachment. I sat in my room having a little giggle to myself for what seemed to be 30 minutes or so.
She eventually gave up and used it with just the one whisk.
It was a small victory but oh boy, it felt good. I assumed she went and ate her dinner but the cherry on top was about 20 minutes later she came back for a final round of ‘Where’s the whisk?’ only to be defeated once again.”
2. If You're Going To Be Rude, You Aren't Getting That Skirt Until After Christmas
“So, I work in a big clothing store. Since this is the last week before Christmas and our store is pretty big, I expected to have more people on a shift to cover up everything. But, I was wrong. The amount of customers is double compared to other normal weeks, so we are pretty understaffed.
Yesterday I was working in the changing rooms. My job was to keep them clean, make sure that people are respecting the guidelines, and put back the clothes left by the customers. There were many customers, a huge line, and a lot of frustrated people, but I was doing quite a good job.
As I was minding my business, a lady shouted to me from the last changing room, ‘You there, bring me an S for this skirt.’
I went there and she told me that she has the perfect Christmas outfit in mind, but she needs an S for the skirt she was trying on now.
I told her that I will bring it, but she will need to be patient since I have a lot of work to do.
Five minutes later, as I was ready to go and bring that skirt, the customer once again shouted, ‘Where is the skirt?’
I once again went there, and I nicely told her that I was about to go and bring it.
She says, ‘Forget it, I’ll bring it myself, looks like nobody does any work in this store.’
I nicely explained that my job is not to bring clothes to customers but to take clothes from the changing room and put them back, but I wanted to be nice and do her a favor by bringing that skirt.
She said something about me being useless and went back to change.
At that point, I was really annoyed with her entitlement, so I went and took the only S left from that skirt in the entire store and I booked it for myself. The store allows employees to do that during work hours, so it wasn’t a problem. As I went back to the changing rooms, I saw that lady hysterically searching for an S.
I’ll put the skirt back right after Christmas.”
1. Guy At The Bar Wouldn't Play Me A Song On The Jukebox, So I Skipped All Of His Songs
“I was at this bar hanging out at a table with some mutual friends but there were a couple of randoms there. Nothing was playing on the jukebox so one of the rando guys starts playing music. I thought I would really like to hear a Sam Cooke song, so I tell him, ‘Hey man, can you play me a Sam Cooke song from your phone? I don’t have my phone on me, but I will give you a dollar or buy you a drink.’ (My phone was in my truck and I was just too lazy to go grab it).
He goes, ‘Heck no. Sam Cooke sucks,’ and he went on and on about how that music sucks and only old people play that crap… blah blah blah.
So I was thinking, ‘Dude, a simple ‘no’ would have sufficed, Mr. Rando Jerk-Wad.’
So I was like, ‘Excuse me, I need to use the restroom.’ I go hit up my truck and grab my phone.
I put on a BUNCH of music. Seriously I must have dropped 40 bucks on the touch tunes app (worth it). And I play next on EVERYTHING. I mix in some Sam Cooke for good effect.
I go back to the table just as his second song is finishing.
And then my set comes on. These people at the adjacent tables start jamming out to what I am playing. And the rando goes, ‘What? I didn’t play this!’
And with a straight face I go, ‘Dang, someone must have ‘played next’ over your songs on the jukebox!’
As song after song plays next over his set he starts getting more and more heated and about 4 songs into it Sam Cooke comes on and I go, ‘Man, this was the exact song I was trying to hear earlier!’
The tables next to us are all grooving to it, he is looking white-hot death at them because he assumed that they were the ones that skipped over him.
Finally, Rando goes, ‘I spent 20 bucks on the jukebox! That’s it, I’m out of here!’
I was thinking to myself, ‘It would have cost you nothing to not be a jerk because I would have given you the dollar back to play that one song.'”