People Get Infuriated By These "Am I The Jerk?" Stories

"I (17F soon to be 18) have an aunt (57F) on my dad’s side of my family. Last year, my family and I went on vacation. On this vacation, I didn’t have any friends who could go with me, so it was a bunch of boys and my aunt (as well as myself). I was sitting on the bed when a discussion about me living with my mom came up. My parents divorced when I was in 5th grade, and I didn’t really have a good relationship with my mom until later in life. After that topic came up, an argument started, but I have no memory of why. However, there was something in that argument that stuck with me and ruined the vacation for me: “If you went to live with your mom, you would probably end up hooked up and pregnant by some black guy.” (I am a white woman, by the way.) I was shocked and appalled after what she said; not one person in that room defended me, and when I got angry after what she said, I was called “crazy.” The whole vacation was completely ruined after that. Fast forward a year later and we are going on that same trip. My dad told me in the living room, “Don’t pull a stunt like you did last year and ruin the vacation,” which reminded me of what my aunt said. All he did was sit there and laugh. I ended up getting angry at him, and then he started to get angry at me when I told him how racist and rude that comment was; all he could do was laugh when I told him how hurtful it is to say. He said I was being overdramatic just because my aunt had a different opinion about what race I should partner with, even though I was always taught to love anyone no matter what their skin color was. This is where I might be the jerk. I told him, “Isn’t it the same insult if I called your sister a pig?” After that, my dad blew up and told me I was getting personal—even though she made a racist remark and degraded me into believing that would happen to me? After the argument, the mood has been tense and I don’t know how to approach it anymore, so am I the jerk?" Another User Comments: "Hard NTJ. Find a new family, you’re better than all of them." mraetzel