People Tell The True Stories They Need To Get Off Their Chest

"I've (37F) always been pretty good with money, never taking on student loans and always paying for cars in cash. The only debt I have is my mortgage, and it's less than what most people pay for a car. I've got a decent job that brings in about $150k a year, so I'm not exactly struggling, but I wouldn't consider myself rich either. My family leaned on me for financial help from a young age. Even in elementary school, I was saving up for those times when my mom would need help paying bills. Looking back, I realize that wasn't normal for a kid, but I thought it was just because we were tight on cash. As I got older, I saw it was more about poor money management. I've got two siblings (25M and 30F). I've covered their tuition, car costs, late bills—you name it. There were times I was asked for money that really tested me. Like in college, when I only had enough for rent and essentials, my mom would still ask for my whole monthly check. It's a miracle I didn't end up flat broke. There was even a time my sister asked for a loan when I was unemployed. Yep, unemployed. I somehow managed to save a few thousand dollars even then. I'll admit, I've leaned on my mom too. During the 2008 crash, I was barely finding part-time work. My mom let me move back in with her and even fronted me gas money for my first week at my new job. I paid her back as soon as I got my first paycheck. Once I saved up $5k, I moved out and never asked for financial help again. I never tapped my siblings for money either. Lending money has always made me uneasy, but once it's out of my hands, I try to treat it as a gift. But last year, everything changed. Once I landed my first job, I made it a priority to make sure my mom was doing okay financially. You see, she's never been great with money—frequenting pawn shops, juggling overdue bills, and dealing with debt. So, I made her a deal: if she handed over a copy of every bill she had, I'd make sure they were all sorted. It took a bit of convincing, but she eventually gave me a list of every bill and how far behind she was. I'd ballpark it at a couple grand. She had a cycle of which bill she'd let slide, just enough to dodge any utility cut-offs. I cleared all her bills, and for the first time in her life, she wasn't behind on any of them. She must have been around 55 years old then. After that, she stopped relying on pawn shops and was super diligent about keeping everything up to date. Next, I thought it was a good idea to help her set up an emergency fund. I opened a high-yield savings account, put in a few grand, and told her I'd match whatever she saved. She stuck with it for a while, but eventually lost interest. Looking back, I probably asked too much. She's never been one to hang on to money, and when she did have some, her instinct was to spend it. Emergencies, to her, were more about things she'd been wanting for a while. Then came the debt. She was buried in it, always financing home repairs and car fixes because she didn't know how to save and preferred to wait until things broke. The monthly payments got so high that sometimes her fridge was practically empty and she could hardly afford to eat. After taking another look at her finances, years after getting all her bills sorted, it hit me that her situation just wasn't sustainable. I advised her to consolidate her debt while interest rates were still low. Together, we came up with a plan to manage her payments. This adjustment ended up saving her about a grand every month after covering all her bills. With a pension, an extra thousand bucks each month, no more lingering debt, and a few grand saved for emergencies, I thought she was on pretty solid ground. I started dreaming about taking her on vacations and thinking about what she'd like to do in her retirement, instead of what she had to do to make ends meet. But, well, life had different plans. And that brings me to the tough decision I had to make about not being able to cover my mom's financial needs anymore. My dog, my companion of 15 years, passed away. I raised her from a pup, and she was like a piece of my heart outside my body. She had a terminal health condition that was supposed to limit her life, but with good care, she lived a full 15 years without any issues. Always running around like a puppy, the last two weeks of her life were the only time she seemed her age. I tried everything to save her, but in the end, she passed away in my arms. The vet bills were steep, but to me, it was the best money I've ever spent. It gave me peace knowing I did everything for my loyal friend. Her passing coincided with my own health issues that made it hard for me to even do basic tasks. It's been a year, and I'm still not back to my old self. So, I've been forced to prioritize my own well-being. Not long after my dog passed, my mom brought up a costly car repair. I asked her not to request money this time, as I needed to rebuild my savings after the vet expenses. Yet, two weeks later, there she was, asking for financial help with the repair. I paid what I could, but I couldn't help but wonder why she needed it when she should have had an extra $1,000 monthly. A month later, she broke down, saying she could barely afford food. To my shock, she revealed over $50,000 in debt, all accumulated in a single year. I did the math and realized she'd never pay this off in her lifetime. Her credit was shot, and she couldn't refinance or consolidate her debt. Interest rates had shot up, leaving her in a dire financial situation. I decided to step in again, paying off her high-interest debt and leaving her with a more manageable $25,000 in debt. It gave her a few hundred in breathing room, but she's struggling. At this point, I mentally checked out of providing further financial support. I had given her the tools to succeed, but she chose a different path. I stopped funding her vacations, and once I'm healthy, I plan to take trips by myself. I've poured years into ensuring her financial stability, only to watch her squander it. Any time she brings up money, I no longer engage—I've done enough. I've also decided to distance myself from the finances of my siblings (that’s another story). Taking on the financial emergencies of my family has quadrupled my stress, and it's been too much. I'm eager to live the rest of my life for myself. Despite my illness, I'm determined to improve my health, and I'm looking forward to adopting a new dog next year. I've even started splurging on things I once thought frivolous. It's liberating to finally live life on my terms."