You are not the jerk but your sister isn't either. Yes you could have did her the favor but again THEY ARE HER DAMN FOSTER KIDS. As a mother it's my responsibility to fix my schedule around my kids not my kids schedule around my job. She needs to either find a babysitter or give the kids back to the system if she can't handle being a parent. It's not your responsibility to keep helping her and I would tell my family they can find a new person to help them with their kids also since I'm the bad guy.
You and your family are jerks and your husband deserves an apology. You and your family need to seek therapy and go heal. If not your husband will divorce you and he should. You are going to make your child not have memories for the future for nothing. Your brother death didn't concern her and you need to realize that.
Esh only because you don't find her attractive after she had your kid. But she is not exempt either she agreed to lose weight with you since yall noticed yall weight gain but she isn't holding up her part of the agreement. Now you might want to have her see a therapist for ppd because that could be why she also isn't trying to lose weight. Are you helping her with the baby when you come home if not pick up that slack from her. Even though she chose to be a sahm and the cooking, cleaning etc is on her the baby is both of yall child.
Ntj and your mom and aunts are horrible. Unless your mom and aunts apologize to you and your fiancee publicly and its to you and your fiancee discretion if yall choose to reinvite them. Your dad needs to grow some balls and put your mom in her place and tell her she was wrong under the influence or not that was wrong. Your sister needs to mind her business seeing as though she not in contact with them to