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Id use her argument against her. "No, Mom, your being cruel to me by letting stepdad & stepsister treat me like garbage & what you call family time looks more like harassment. I don't care why they do it, cause why doesn't make it ok." Then set your visitation boundaries with her only.
Why should family matter to you when it clearly doesn't matter to him.
Its great that Dad apologized but I think he should be more focused on supporting your recovery than on being forgiven sinse he should be looking out for you first. It's also your Dad's job to cope with his own guilt, instead of asking you to absolve him immediately, especially when you will have to deal with the fallout for years to come. Besides, is he not gonna feel guilty or sad watching you struggle with complexes he helped create?
Maybe ask your mom, "So you thinj I should bend to your ideals instead. Wouldn't it be better to hust be true to myself & my preferences?" And mom has no right to claim to know what you're thinking when you chose to go straight
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