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NTJ but maybe take another look at how much you have relied on him for transportation. You may not be on the same page at all. If you're up to it, ask him calmly and directly to lay out his problem with you specifically, when he's happy to keep driving everyone else around. Remind him you've never kept score when helping him. He could have very easily brought this issue to you in a loving way, as a friend, so he's being a mean, terrible jerk. I don't blame you for being confused and upset. It doesn't make sense. It's as if there's a huge missing piece. Is there anyone in your friend group you can trust to be rational about this? Can you keep some of those relationships while distancing him? Turnabout IS fair play. Also, DON'T complain about public transport if you're unwilling to get a license. Maybe that's what rubbed him the wrong way. As close as you were, he might have perceived that as an accusation from you. Still, he shouldn't have resorted to mean and childish words and actions.
NTA. That's an inappropriate and toxic thing to ask someone who is 20 years old. There are far too many unknowns. Even if you said yes, countless things could prevent you from keeping that promise. She should be asking what you're thinking of doing with YOUR life. My parents didn't do the hands-on care for their own parents; they were working and raising children. Hands-on care for the sick and dying is not something you can do in your spare time. It's 24-7 and requires specialized knowledge and physical fitness. It's a profession. You told her you won't be abandoning her. That, and a loving relationship, should be enough, especially at your age. Keep letting her know you're grateful and happy to have her in your life. You can't promise you're going to become everyone's nurse.
The people who are saying it's time for C to understand unfairness and cruelty are wrong. E is an infant. She doesn't know or care but C does. E's not old enough yet to have an important relationship with grandma. C is very much vulnerable to her indifference however. He feels it. I wish there was more information in this post about why grandma feels C is too much. But there's an easy answer. Use a different sitter. If grandma wants baby time, she comes to your house where she can't pretend C doesn't exist. He'll learn about unfairness in time but it doesn't have to be at grandma's hands and yours. She doesn't have the right to dictate to you how your children are going to be treated. Stand up for him.
Ytj. No reason you can't give her one day a week. Calling her ridiculous is awful. It sounds like you don't think about her or care about her. Like you're oblivious to the difficulty of her work and her need to recharge. You could learn to relax and possibly spend one day a week as a couple. A real day off. You could be going out of your way to support some of HER needs at least once a week, not just your own. Yes, that includes her needing space when that is the case. And are you working 7 days a week? Why? If you are, that should make you more empathetic to her grind, not less. And also if you are, you are doing your marriage zero favors.
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