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NTJ, but you really need to decide if it's worth the ongoing conflict this will cause, possibly for years.
I'm going to have to disagree with the other responses here. It's not that you're a jerk. But to have someone respond with a story about themselves, every time you're talking to them about something that's upsetting you is indeed invalidating. You're making it all about you. It feels like someone's trying to one-up you. You may think you're just telling a story that shows you can relate, but you're just taking the focus away from her. If she's talking to you about her problems, be empathetic. Tell her you feel terrible that that's happening. Tell her that she deserves better. Give her advice if you want. Ask her what she's going to do about it. Commiserate with her. But hold off on telling your own drama story too.
NTJ, but this is a good opportunity to learn the difference between being right and being tolerant. The debate was meaningless. It was obviously pricking your mother's pride, and discretion is the better part of valor. This isn't an important issue that is worth being a hill to die on. There's no harm in just saying "Okay, whatever." That said, your mother's behavior is outrageous and over the top and nasty. Which pretty solidly outweighs the whole, "Just drop it if it's bugging her" part.
Your brother has an eating disorder. It's called compulsive overeating and is not uncommon among those who have experienced food insecurity. I know it's infuriating and frustrating, but he needs help from a psychologist with experience in eating disorders ... and some compassion.
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