MMcC
Metaspoon User

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It's sounds like you have outgrown your current living arrangement. At some point, couples often move in together. If this is where your relationship is at, talk about it with your partner and look for a new housing option together.
All weird social dynamics aside, I don't see any jerks here. Your brother requested a midnight visit at the last minute. That wouldn't fly for me personally, but, hey, it's your house and you're cool with it, whatevs. Friend doesn't want a midnight visit. It's her prerogative not to partake. Possibly the discussion that led up to to her leaving was more tense than needed, but the fact she would opt out of that is totally understandable to me.
I don't think you're a jerk. I do understand your cousin's concern though as it could be sticky depending on the dynamics of your family and the dynamics between these two siblings. Only you know if this is likley to cause tension. My concern is, your cousin also might know if this is likely to cause tension, which is why they bring it up. IF it might cause problems and IF you're going to contribute to grand baby's college fund anyways, you might consider doing so starting with a lump sum that evens out the gifts. 8k for younger son and 6k for grand baby.
Your friends seem to be struggling a little bit, so I am going to make this very simple for them: The driver picks the music. The passenger listens to the music.
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