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My mom had an eagle beak of a nose while my dad's nose was quite thin with a high arch. All three of my siblings got the eagle beak, but I ended up with this tiny button in the middle of my face just like my dad's mom had. Genetics are weird and complicated.
I call BS. In all these weeks, none of your friends nor your girlfriend visited your place even once? If you hid the real food, still someone would have found it. If you ate out three times a day every day for several weeks, somebody would have seen you. If you ordered in, there would be evidence, a receipt, a wrapper, something. On the very, VERY slim chance that this story is true, YTJ for making people who care about you worry themselves sick just to laugh in their face.
NTJ. "dark humor" is a bully's excuse. Your family is bigoted, misogynistic and homophobic. I agree with others that the only solution is to go low/no contact until they grow up and learn to treat you and your husband with respect. A side note for anyone who has a problem with the age difference: If you're lucky enough to find true love, don't quibble about the package it comes in.

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