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Yeah, if I didn't think you were a jerk before, the edit locked that down. You feel so badly that your mother didn't have something homemade for her birthday? Pick up the knitting needles, buddy, as it sounds like you need a hobby... that you would approve of. :)
I would say the two of you need to have a calm and realistic discussion about hypothetical situations, and dig into leadup and fallout from them, potentially with an unbiased third party if y'all can't manage that at this point. Addressing certain situations (opening the champagne, eargrips for the sunglasses or buying cheaper pairs) with reasonable solutions seems like a fair compromise on her part. You getting the heck over the bumping, dropping, and spilling go would be my suggestion for your part. Discussing the introduction of less breakable things (plastic cups, etc.) is tenuous middle ground, probably best suggested by someone who isn't you.
And if they come in at the last minute, or quite frankly whenever they come in, the customer is in no place to start bitching the second they walk up to the register. Justice served. She can go anywhere else she wants.
Tell the professor to soak his head. He's trying to use you to keep peace in his cast, which I seem to not hear that you are a part of. If he's that worried about it, he can invite the whole group to his house another night.
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