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She's 22, she can buy her own food. Otherwise, she has no place to get mad at people eating food OP is buying. Why exactly should her mother foot the bill for a 22 y.o. spoiled and ungrateful brat? I've been buying my own food since I had my first job at 16. I still buy my own food. OP is teaching her daughter independence and consequences. Lessons she desperately needs to learn since her father is succumbing to the daughter's attempt at emotional manipulation. Kids need to learn how to be independent and responsible, not dependent and entitled.
Honestly, it sounds like your husband and the neighbor's wife are more intimate than they are saying. I mean, it's clear he's been bad-mouthing you to the neighbors for a while. But, the fact the neighbor's wife felt like she had a right to demean you, comment on you as a person, and speak detrimentally about your marriage, and your husband supporting her, says a lot. That is literally how I found out my ex-spouse was cheating. The first woman, who was a friend of our mutual friend, decided to talk horribly about me on social media, I'd only met her once. Everything she thought she knew from my ex bad-mouthing me. Imho, you should get a legal seperation and have a discussion with the neighbor's husband. There's more going on than it seems.
NTJ In addition to what others have said, it also sounds like some of your grief is from survivor's guilt. You said you felt like maybe you didn't do enough, but it is not your fault in any way and you couldn't have changed anything. You're allowed to grieve for as long and in whatever way you need to. You should seek therapy to help you process your feelings. Your wife needs to get over herself. She's unnecessarily cruel and jealous. She also needs therapy to figure out why she is so threatened by you grieving your ex-fiance. Her behavior is cruel and confusing.
You're a bigoted idiot. They're meant for people with disabilities period. Disability isn't just "Oh I think I'm disabled, so I must be". That's not how it works genius. Not everybody diagnosed with Autism is declared disabled by a medical professional. Just because you're a biased bigot doesn't make anything you say true.
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