NTJ! If you choose to go, by all means, set boundaries. And if they can't respect those boundaries, then don't go. Having your partner there with you is going to help you, because they will most likely try to drag you back in and guilt trip you. That's just my opinion.
I don't think you wbtj but be prepared for hurt feelings. Sometimes it just doesn't work out the way we want it to. I feel for you and your family and I think they are being unfair. Both my boys were NICU babies, but my family and my husband's family never treated them any different than my sister's baby, who didn't have to stay in the NICU. You just can't make some people show common courtesy.
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