People Are Unraveling Their "Am I The Jerk" Stories

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Dive into a world of ethical conundrums, personal dilemmas and social quandaries with our latest series of real-life stories. From confronting disrespectful roommates and navigating complex family dynamics, to standing up to body-shaming relatives and dealing with unexpected surprises, these stories will challenge your sense of right and wrong. Explore the grey areas of life's toughest decisions, as you ask yourself - Am I The Jerk? After reading their stories below, let us know who you perceive to be the actual jerk. AITJ = Am I the jerk? NTJ = Not the jerk WIBTJ = Would I be the jerk? YTJ = You're the jerk

31. AITJ for Leaving My Disrespectful Roommate and Ignoring Her Apologies?

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“I (22M) and my roommate (22F) have been staying together in an apartment for the past half year. When we signed this lease, we made a mutual agreement to share responsibilities equally. From the very first week up till the last month when I got her mother involved, I have been forced to do all the chores, take care of all the payments excluding her half of the rent, and deal with her constant disrespectful treatment toward me.

To quickly sift through, my roommate also comes into my room uninvited, gets in my bed, cuddles with me without my consent, and constantly asks me to do things for her despite her never doing anything for me when I ask.

3 days ago, I decided I’d try and put aside my anger by hanging out with my roommate at a popular shopping center.

For the most part, it went well! She pressured me a few times to go to a different store because I was taking too long, but I feel we had a lot of fun! I went to bed that night feeling like that was enough to let bye-gones be bye-gones and forgive her.

Until I woke up at midnight to get a glass of water, to be met with a complete stranger in our apartment.

My roommate has always had a problem locking the doors. It might seem like I’m exaggerating, but I’ve woken up to the door unlocked 17 days in a row.

I’ve talked with her extensively about how dangerous this is, but she always insists that it wasn’t her.

I didn’t know if this person was going to rob us, harm my roommate, or me? That is until I noticed my roommate staring at me as if I walked in on something I shouldn’t have.

At that point it made sense, I took a breath to calm down, asked her to please inform me next time, and went back into my room to start packing.

This isn’t the first time my roommate has invited people over without warning. I’ve walked out of my room many times, face-to-face with someone I didn’t know.

The thing is, those times have always been in the daylight, never at night.

I started packing and left to stay with my mom until my lease is up. My mom and I don’t have the best relationship, but she has always been there for me when I needed it most.

My roommate’s been texting me almost every day for the last few days asking me to come home, saying she’s sorry, then sending me memes. I’ve ignored every last text. She cites that she has abandonment issues and that I’m making her feel abandoned.

She’s been making me feel like I’m the jerk for leaving her, but I feel deep down that I’ve definitely given her chance after chance, and that I should stand strong on this decision.

So yeah, AITJ for leaving her and making her feel like I’ve abandoned her?”

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rbleah 6 months ago
That girl has ISSUES and YOU DON'T NEED TO ADDRESS THEM. They are HER PROBLEMS. Stay out and get into a place WITHOUT HER.
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30. AITJ For Standing Up To My Partner's Overprotective Parents About Our Travel Plans?

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“My partner (28m) and I (26f) come from very different backgrounds. He comes from a very close and IMO overprotective family, he was basically treated like fine china and not allowed to do anything, he couldn’t swim or ride a bike until I showed him because his mother thinks it is dangerous.

I was raised by a laidback family, who encouraged me to try anything and do everything. We travelled a lot during my childhood, and in 2016 I went abroad to travel and work, coming home for a short period of time. When we started seeing each other I explained that I  intended to set out to travel again when possible, my partner agreed and understood but as we became more serious he suggested we save money for a few years and then go together.

We are currently on track with our savings goal and plan to leave mid 2025.

My partner is slowly figuring out the way he was raised is not normal, and starting to discover himself, I am incredibly proud of him. He is still in contact with his parents but now we have our own home, they aren’t as involved (they wanted us to move to the same town as them but I swiftly put my foot down on that, as did my he).

We told his parents, and they are being incredibly neurotic. I understand they are looking out for his safety, my own mother has a rule that she must receive a text or phone call from me at least every 2 days. I am in charge of organising the majority of the trip, booking flights and arranging accommodation as I have been to most of the places we are planning to go.

They criticise the airlines I choose, they bring up news stories from the places years ago, they requested he share his location with them 24/7. I explained the outline of the counties we plan to visit, but nothing is certain as plans change and you enjoy some places more than others etc.

When we mentioned certain cities they researched them and freaked out because they’re ‘dangerous’ and we will be ‘murdered or kidnapped immediately’. I have explained several times that those cities are ones I know very well, having spent months there and have friends living there also.

They wouldn’t relent about it. I finally cracked and told them to stop trying to micromanage and control him, and not accepting he has his own life now. I pointed out that the county they live in has had several murders in the past few years and an armed robbery not even two days ago.

People get hurt everywhere and we are just as likely to get hurt at home as we are in the middle of southeast Asia. They were shocked and said nothing, just stared at me as I got my coat and went out to the car, my partner followed me and told me I needed to go and apologise, I said nope.

They show no respect for him as an individual and none for me as a knowledgeable and experienced adult. He went back in the house and said goodbye, we drove home in silence and now it’s the next day and he will not speak to me. AITJ here?”

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CG1 6 months ago
If he's not speaking to you I would consider that a sign .If he wants to be micro managed by Mommy And Daddy let him ..I would seriously reconsider being with him .. I don't think he is ever going to Adult .
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29. AITJ for Making My Son Clean Up His Own Prank Gone Wrong?

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“I’m 40s F and have 2 children, “Dax” M12, and “Mia” F14. (Not real names for privacy.)

My kids don’t get along super well, Dax thinks “pranks”are really funny, I guess like every 12 year old boy, and he annoys Mia with them a lot. It’s something my husband and I have been working on as it’s the source of many fights between them.

Dax gets a lot of prank ideas from YouTube and TikTok and will often recreate what he sees. Most of them are harmless (something like a fake spider in her food etc.), but this time I think he went too far.

Dax thought it would be funny to put Saran Wrap over the toilet before my daughter went to the bathroom.

He says he got the idea from online? Idk if this is a thing but it’s a terrible prank. Basically he put plastic wrap under the toilet seat so if someone sits on it, well pretty much it makes a mess instead of going in the bowl.

Yeah I know, ew.

So he does this right before Mia goes in the bathroom to pee. When she gets in there she sits on the seat like normal, pees, and since there’s plastic wrap over the hole, her pee collects on it and gets everywhere, all around the ground on the toilet and on her.

She comes to me crying. She’s embarrassed because she’s a teenage girl and this is… disgusting. I told Mia to shower and not worry about the mess.

Here’s where I might be the jerk… I go to my Son and yell at him for what he did.

I tell him that’s not an appropriate prank and he’s old enough to know that’s not okay. And then I made him clean in up.

He started crying saying it’s unfair I make him clean his sisters pee. “It’s gross and he’s going to be sick.” He says “it’s from her body so she should clean it.” But it was all his fault and literally his mess to deal with, I don’t know why I should humiliate my daughter further or why I should have to clean it.

And biggest thing, he needs to learn.

I told him the mess was his fault and he should think about the repercussions of his actions next time, because this is what his prank caused. And then I stood in the doorway and watched as I made him clean all of the urine off the floor and toilet.

I think it was an appropriate punishment considering it’s really just the natural consequence of what he did, and it doubles as a general lesson in how to clean a toilet which he has to learn at some point anyway.

Well my husband disagrees. This all happened while he was at work, and after he got home Dax complained to him.

He told me I was overly harsh on our son and “put him in danger” by exposing him to germs. But I gave him the same gloves I use when I have to wash the toilet and it’s not like he was unsupervised.

But my husband is mad at me and told me I want “too far” and that’s “bad parenting.” Of course my son is mad at me too. But my daughter is on my side.

AITJ? Am I a bad Mom?”

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rbleah 6 months ago
NOT A BAD MOM and I would have just handed dad some gloves and told HIM to clean the rest of the bathroom mess CAUSED BY sons nasty prank. Tell son if he pulls any more PRANKS/STUNTS like this one HE WILL BE CLEANING UP and NOONE ELSE. Tell him his pranks are NOT ALLOWED IN YOUR HOUSE and if he does them he will lose all his toys/goodies for a set amount of time. Then follow through. Tell dad THIS WILL HAPPEN unless HE WANTS TO MOVE OUT WITH HIS SON and he can allow THAT CRAP someplace else. Also tell dad that son may be a kid BUT he still MUST KNOW RIGHT FROM WRONG AND PULLING THIS CRAP IS WRONG. For me pranks are NOT FUNNY, NOT EVEN AMUSING.
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28. AITJ for Revealing my True Figure to My Body-Shaming Aunt At A Family Gathering?

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“I (19F) have a large family, but this story really only involves a few of the women. 5 of my cousins are sisters and the daughters of my “Aunt Lena”. I spent a lot of time with them growing up and we are still close.

This next part is super awkward to say, but it is vital.

My cousins are sort of overweight. I am a small girl myself. I have been a gymnast since I was 3 and do a lot of outdoor active things, whereas they always did more academic activities, Bible Quiz Tournaments, Band, Physics Club, things like that. They are all super smart and talented, but never were inclined to the more traditionally feminine or glamorous things, unlike my glitter and skirt loving gymnast self.

We all have so much admiration for each other, and the only person bothered by our differences is Aunt Lena.

At Christmas when I told everyone I would be starting my first semester at College I overheard her say “Thank God! She’ll come back trashy and fat.

She won’t be any better than my girls.” That was horrifying. But she didn’t know I heard her and I chose not to cause a scene.

Surprise! I am the same as ever physically. Last week was the first time I saw them since starting school. They invited the whole family over to swim (lake house).

On arrival, I wore a hoodie and sweatpants over my swimsuit. It was specifically designed to make me look much larger than I am. She had this grand smug look on her face like she was pleased that I seemingly gained 20 pounds. When we went outside, I purposely didn’t undress for a noticeable amount of time.

Admittedly, I was trying to bait her. With her smug smile, she said “It’s just family here, no need to worry about what you look like, honey. Everyone gains weight at college it’s okay.” Again, this was in front of EVERYONE.

Well, I took her at her word that no one cared what I looked like.

I lost my pants and hoodie and stood in the most stunning bikini I could find at Target. It wasn’t ultra-skimpy, that isn’t my style, but it was flattering on me (if I say so myself).

She was FURIOUS. I didn’t think she’d lose it in front of everyone, but she started shouting at me that I tricked her and that I thought I was better than everyone.

She said I shouldn’t “be prettier than the others, it is unfair.” I just kept quiet and let her humiliate herself, which she did. It got a little out of hand though. She said some bad things about my cousins and some other people in the family, which I never wanted.

Finally, I said, “The only thing that is fat and trashy is your personality because you don’t see how perfect your own daughters are.” Not clever, but effective.

Did I take things too far? By the time I got home all of my other family members were texting that I tricked her into saying those things and that I was overreacting. Just to clarify, none of my cousins were at all upset about what I said or did. Still, I’m second-guessing. Should I have been more modest with myself and not called her out on her comments? AITJ for acting “too pretty”?”

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rbleah 6 months ago
Auntie is a jealous witch isn't she? Tell the haters in your family that she outed herself with her hatred and jealousy and you didn't need to do ANYTHING to make her go whacko. Keep in touch with your cousins, since you all love each other, and just ignore jealous witch. She was just hoping you would let yourself get out of shape while gone. Unfortunately for her some people don't just get fat/out of shape unless they quit doing ANYTHING except eating and sitting on their butts. She needs to grow the EFF up.
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27. AITJ For Cutting Off My Biological Dad After He Tried To Gain 'Unofficial Custody' And Trashed My Adoptive Parents?

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“My family situation is a bit confusing so I’ll try my best to explain,

My mom got pregnant twice as a teen, resulting in my siblings and I, 18M,16M,16F(me)

My mom and The person I know as my dad, started outing out while she was pregnant with me, my whole life I was told he’s my father and his name is on my original birth certificate.

My bio mom and “dad” were unfit parents and it resulted in us being by taken by CPS and them eventually got their parental rights taken away.

We were later adopted by a different family and they are who see as our mom and dad

A year ago we found out that, the man who we thought was our bio dad, is not in-fact our bio dad, and our bio dad is a person we had never met.

(Our being 16f and 18M )

Our bio dad reached out to us and while we were hesitant at first, our parents suggested we at-least just say hi back, we did and eventually we ended up meeting bio dad and later his family.

Through this we found out that bio dad knew that our mom was pregnant but chose not to be involved and wanted nothing to do with us at the time as he wasn’t ready to have children.

Present day, Bio dad is married and he and his wife are struggling to have kids, and so after several months of slowly gaining our family’s trust.

Bio dad suggested to our parents that, they have an “unofficial custody” with him, where we’d spend some weekends, holidays, summers etc and such with him and his wife and my parents said, not only are they not willing to give up weekends holidays etc, they also don’t want to have any “unofficial agreement” either

This annoyed my bio dad and he started throwing the dad card around, saying that he’s our father and therefore he has “the right” to having us around as much as he wants and that his suggestion was him trying to be reasonable.

He then came to us, saying he wants us to be a family again and they are keeping us from him etc and just trash talking my parents a lot, I guess he was trying to get us to side with him but this just made us start to not like him.

The next few times we met he just kept on trash talking our parents and I told him that he had multiple chances to be a parent but chose not, he doesn‘t get to be a parent when it’s now convenient for him and had he stepped up earlier he wouldn’t be in this situation.

I also said that if he kept trash talking our parents we’d stop talking to him. ( we’ve stopped talking )

Our bio dad, then took to social media telling any and everybody that my parents are evil and keeping him from the only kids he might ever have and calling us kids brainwashed, dumb and ungrateful

Since then we’ve had his family and friends contact us saying we should apologize to bio dad and to rethink our decisions, others are blaming our parents. Saying that one day we’ll “snap out of our parents brainwashing” and regret cutting our bio dad off, some took even as far as to say we’re ungrateful, petty and all kinds of mean things.”

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LilVicky 6 months ago
Definitely NTJ but your bio dad is trash & you need to block all the extra “family” that keeps coming at you
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26. AITJ for Struggling to Connect with My Best Friend's Wife, Impacting Our Friendship?

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“Some background on me and my friendship with this guy: Im awful at meeting people, making friends, etc. I have some friends, but don’t really hang out with them. I also have one buddy that I used to hang out with all the time. My friendship with him was special because he is someone I can really be myself with.

A really good heterosexual male friendship. He is the one who got married.

Now whenever I hang out with him, it’s always at his house while his wife is there. I always did my best to socialize etc with her, but like I said, social interactions are not something I am good at, so I am just not really able to form a friendship with his wife.

I know she is my best friend’s wife and I really do my best to try to connect with her, but we have absolutely nothing in common. Every time I see her I really make an effort but I’m just socially inept I guess.

So my buddy told me his wife is uncomfortable with me hanging out with him because she feels like I don’t like her.

Like I talk so openly and freely with him but I don’t talk with her much despite trying. So she feels like I am excluding her. that’s understandable as the way my friend and I like to talk is really different and most people don’t get it.

We talk to each other like morons. And his wife is just a “normal” person. So in her eyes I turn her husband into some idiot , because we enjoy acting like idiots.

They had a party last night and it felt like every time I got to chat with my friend for a minute and get to truly be myself, she would come break it up in one way or another.

At one point I make a joke (which my buddy appreciated) which he laughed at, but later told me I was not helping make his wife any more comfortable and that she comes first. I understand that, but he is also telling me I am not able to interact with him in the same way that made our friendship so strong.

So at this point, I feel like my friendship with my friend makes his wife uncomfortable. I don’t think I hang out with them very much to begin with, once a month tops for a few hours, and I’m not asking him to take more time out of his schedule to hang out more.

So I don’t think it’s I am just spending too much time with her husband. It really seems like she’s just not comfortable with our friendship. I did my best to interact with his wife socially, but I really am bad at it. He explained this to her before the party.

That I am just not good at making friends. She said she understood, but I still didn’t feel like she was okay with me interacting with my buddy at their party.

So I just don’t want to be around her. I feel like my friendship with him is causing issues with his marriage and I just want to kind of fizzle out because I don’t want to be the one to ruin their marriage. if he ever wants to hang out one on one, I’d love to, but I have zero desire to spend any length of time around his wife, truthfully just for the sake of maintaining both our friendship and his marriage.

AITJ?”

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RisingPhoenix2023 6 months ago
I have a friend like that. I've known him for decades. She is jealous of all HIS friends and has done what she could to end them. After 10 years of him feeling alone, he finally reached out to his friends. She barely tolerates the males. The females he keeps secret. He tells me about his other female friends that he has to hide because of her jealous controlling nature. He loves her and will stay married but is too lonely to give up his 'secret' life. Your friend will eventually face the same situation. Let him know that you are and always will be his friend but for his marriage, you will back off. Only time will tell what happens.
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25. AITJ for Going on a Planned Trip Without My Sister After Her Fiancé Failed to Arrange Childcare?

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“So mum (f59), sister (f30) and myself (f24) all wanted to go on a trip somewhere together for a long time, timing never worked out since sister lives abroad and has 2 boys (2y/o with her fiancé and 9y/o from previous relationship).

We managed to finally find a date we would all be free, this accidently lines up with my mums birthday .

This all hinged on sisters fiancé agreeing to take care of the boys while we are away. The last time we got to see my sister btw was 3 years ago at Christmas.

Few days go by we get a text that he couldn’t book the days off work to take care of the boys.

Disappointed but ok it’s one of those things, we will just go another time.

Few days later we see on fb him out with the boys in Amsterdam for a week. He can take a week off for himself but cannot take 2 days off work (he doesn’t work weekends so it would just be the Mon & Fri) to take care of the boys so his fiancé could spend a weekend with her family and celebrate her mums birthday.

We were upset. Btw this is all for a trip in September, not a last minute thing..

This is not the first time he’s done something like this, he has always been selfish and entitled. Last time they came to visit they stayed with my parents so they didn’t pay for hotel.

He didn’t offer to pay for drinks/food when we went out, offer to chip in for food for the house or even offer petrol money when we picked them up/dropped them off at the airport. We aren’t the biggest fans of him to say the least but we never mentioned any of this to sister.

We asked my sister again if he’s sure he cant get the days off work and it all escalated from there. It came up that he’s hurt he wasn’t invited on the trip. This was always a girls trip, my Dad is not invited neither my partner, they are fine with it.

My mum and I were upset that he was the reason we would not be able to go, so we booked tickets and decided to go just us two. My sister found out and is now super angry because “you can’t just decide to go anyway just because 1 person can’t go anymore”.

I understand this.

As an effort to keep the peace my parents booked another trip in December, this time fiancé was got the days off work (suddenly now he can after we called him out) so my sister can come with her oldest son, but is still sulking he’s not invited.

This trip will include my Dad. The reason we couldn’t invite the fiancé and youngest is because he’s too young for the plans we have and fiancé expects my parents to pay for them both because they are paying for my sister and nephew. They cannot afford this.

We still get our girls trip, my dad will take my nephew one day we will do our own thing. My sister is still angry because my mum and I are still going on the original holiday.

So, AITJ for still going on the original trip with just my mum seeing as we have the other trip a few months later?”

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Ninastid 6 months ago
Nope tell your sister not to marry the piece of garbage
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24. AITJ For Confronting My Roommate About Her Dad Living With Us Without My Consent?

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“I’m from the US and currently overseas as a student in the EU right now and even though the academic year is over, I’m still staying for the remainder of the lease.My roommate graduated over a month ago and had family over for a few days.

She let me know before hand, and I had no issue.

Once all of her family left, her dad stayed behind. He was still there while roommate had also left. I figured I would get an explanation or a heads-up but she didn’t tell me anything until I outright asked her.

She said there’s been some “family issues” and that he’s helping her move. I was never told of length of stay or anything, and whenever I’d ask her she’d just say the same thing of “he’s helping me move.”

I was willing to ignore him and try to bide my time with a random person living under the same roof as me, but he’s also a bad roommate.

He’s in and out of the house in the middle of the night, overly personal, doesn’t wash dishes properly, doesn’t clean up spills, things like that. On father’s, day he insisted I have dinner with him. I try to be nice as we talk but he keeps asking very personal questions (How many siblings do you have? Where you planning to work after this? How’s your thesis coming along? Maybe I can read it someday? Is there someone special in your life?).

Eventually he starts talking about his own stuff and mentions that he was a math teacher. He “quit” his job because he was under fire for calling a student some derogatory names.

Today, over a month into this, I finally text her and ask how much longer he’s going to be staying, and she tells me he’s going to be there until the lease expires.

Fed up, I tell her that it’s unfair that she just invited a dude to stay over for months at a time without even asking or informing me as a roommate, especially when she’s not there herself. I say that I understand there’s family stuff going on, but that doesn’t mean I have to put up with living with a stranger in the place I signed a lease for.Her Dad jumps in saying that he’s been nothing but cordial and that I’m the only person he’s ever met that doesn’t care for him.

He also mentions that he paid for her lease and that he’s disappointed I regard his “genuine generosity” so poorly. I go back and forth with the roommate, repeating that I should’ve at least had a warning or explanation as to why he’s still here, since he’s not even on the lease.

She says that I’m not owed an explanation and I’m making her uncomfortable for pressing the issue.

I don’t know the details of whatever family stuff is going on, and I don’t care to know, I just want to know why it requires a stranger to be in my home without my permission. AITJ?”

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rbleah 6 months ago
Tell lher daddy has to leave or pay you out for the rest of your portion of the lease and you will leave.
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23. AITJ For Not Inviting My Older Brother to My Birthday Celebration with Friends?

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“I (21F) had a birthday last week and ever since I turned 16 I’ve always made it a point to celebrate my birthday twice. This is because I have a big family and so to do something with all my family and friends together would be nearly impossible.

So I have one celebration with my family (all extended relatives included as well), and a second one for just my friends and I.

I have two brothers, Alex (24M) and Liam (33M) and since Alex and I are closer in age, we were always quite close growing up and are still close today.

We share mutual friends and we often go out and do stuff together a lot. Liam still lives at home with our parents while Alex and I have both moved out and are living alone. Liam refuses to do the same even though it is definitely something he can afford if he wanted to.

In my opinion, Liam is a man baby who just doesn’t want to grow up and move out of our moms house and instead believes it is his right to live in that house since he is the oldest.

He has a job that allows him to work from home so he rarely gets out of the house unless someone gives him a reason to.

He doesn’t really have friends aside from one who he’s known since middle school and he has also been divorced twice. I think he has given up on growing up and he is stuck in this shell of never wanting to try again so he just spends his time working and playing video games in his office all day and night.

Our mother just encourages/babies him because she believes that he is better off living with her.

Ok so back to last week, my friends and I had all decided that it would be fun to go out for drinks and then just see where the night takes us.

Alex was invited to come since we usually go out with our friends together and have fun. I was not planning on inviting Liam because it would seem weird for him to be hanging out with a bunch of 20 something year olds and he also wasn’t very good company to have around.

He was awkward and would make insensitive jokes that no one ever really laughed at. So I chose not to invite him or tell him about it.

Liam found out through social media that Alex had been at my birthday celebration with my friends and he got furious.

That night he left us 10 missed calls and was blowing up both mine and Alex’s phone with text messages about how upset and hurt he is that he wasn’t included in yet another thing in my life and was even more upset that Alex was included.

He said he felt betrayed that we would leave him out. Alex and I both responded to his messages the next day apologizing for how he felt and that it wasn’t our intention to leave him out. He did not reply to either of us and hasn’t spoken to us since. My mother has also stopped talking to me since then and texted me telling me she blames me for Liam’s depression. I don’t think that what I did was so wrong that my mother can justify not speaking to me because of this. AITJ?”

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LilVicky 6 months ago
NTJ & you are right, Liam is a man/baby & why would he want to hang out with 20 something’s? You did nothing wrong
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22. AITJ For Being Upset My Realtor Didn't Disclose Known Termite Damage?

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“My husband and I have had our house on the market since October of ’22. It’s been a dumpster fire of things that have prevented us from actually closing, but it seems like we may be back on track now. We found a house we liked and put an offer in on it.

There is a wall that is shared by the kitchen and laundry room with some bubbling. I’m no expert, but it looked like water damage to me. There was an inspection done on this property on the 10th of May that my realtor sent us. She said that the inspector was the brother of another agent, and in her opinion, it was a conflict of interest.

My husband and I considered this and ultimately decided to hire our own inspector. This inspection was done yesterday, June 24th.

I let my realtor know when the inspection had concluded and that mostly everything looked okay, except for that wall. The inspector said it could be water damage or termite damage, as he saw termite tracks.

He said he didn’t know if they were old or new. Okay. Major red flag, right? Termites are no bueno. He recommended getting a bug guy and a plumber out there to further check on everything. I’m telling this to my realtor and asking if I’ve only got a few more days to do this, as we were nearing our ten day period of being allowed to do inspections or if I can do this next week.

She then proceeds to tell me that she and the seller were aware of live termites, had someone to come out to look at and repair the wall, and had a termite guy already figured in to the contract that would spray for us.

Am I wrong to have been flabbergasted? Had we known about this and had we known there was already someone in place to look at the wall and fix it, we may not have shelled out the money for another inspection.

This is the second one we have had to do. There was another property we had been looking at before this one. So $600 spent on inspections in the last month. The wall was the main thing we were concerned about. I asked if there was anything else going on I was not aware of.

My realtor responded, and I quote, “No, talkaboutluck, there’s not.” It was very condescending. She proceeded to go into how she’s busted her butt on getting our house sold and how she’s not had any help with it and ours is the most difficult sell she’s ever had and that she doesn’t have time to go over every single little thing with me about the new one.

She also told me that “most people don’t give a crap about termites.”

It’s been one thing after another with this lady. She sold me the house I’m currently in and trying to sell and that was a breeze. It’s why I contacted her again. I wish I never had.

This was the tip of the iceberg for me and my husband. So, are we the jerks for feeling like she’s leaving information out? I just feel like I should be the one to decide what I do and do not give a crap about. I’m wondering what else she isn’t telling us.”

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rbleah 6 months ago
DO NOT TRUST HER. She is only out to make money and has NO CARE FOR YOU. Back out of the sale NOW and let her contract laps with her then find another realtor.
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21. AITJ For Refusing to Train My Wealthy Aunt's Dog For Free?

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“I (30F) run a dog training business. I have been doing this FT for over a decade and thankfully I’m very busy almost all the time. I travel to the client’s home and conduct 1-on-1 training sessions at a premium rate.

My aunt (70F) recently got a puppy.

For context, we have an *okay* relationship but that is mostly because I make an effort to keep the peace and let a lot of BS fly. She is a difficult person to get along with. She is very wealthy and entitled, and has a habit of talking down to everyone she sees as beneath her…which is most people.

She has never been particularly generous with me in any way. In fact, she is offensively cheap most of the time.

When she got her puppy she called me and asked when I can come train it. I told her honestly that while I’m not specifically asking her for money, I have limited availability and a full schedule, and unfortunately I cannot afford to give her a time slot that I would otherwise be paid for.

My living expenses are high and I can’t work for free.

I work long hours and my job is quite physical, so by the end of the day I am completely exhausted, and starving, and I just want to go home to my own dog who is alone waiting for me.

So I’m not willing to squeeze an extra session into my already long day. On the odd occasion I do get stuck working extra late, I am miserable- even when I’m being paid. I’m not going to do it for free. She lives in the neighbourhood I work in, but it’s 45 mins from where I live so going to her on my day off is not an option either.

I told her that I would be happy to give her as much advice as I can over the phone, and I’ve even done a free Zoom call with her (I usually charge for this). Basically I’m happy to help her in whatever way doesn’t cost me money or keep me away from home longer than I already am.

I’ve even stopped by twice when I had short notice cancellations and worked with her dog a bit for free, but she’s not following any of the advice I’ve given her as she feels she knows better, so this entire thing is a giant waste of my time.

Still, she continues to passive aggressively ask me over and over when I’m going to come back to give her more training. She can absolutely more than afford to pay for my time, but has made no offer to despite me telling her multiple times I can’t bump paid clients for her.

She hasn’t even offered to throw me $20 for my gas.

Apparently she bumped into a neighbor earlier this week who happened to me one of my past clients. The client said nice things about me. My aunt told her “Oh yeah, ____ is my niece but apparently she doesn’t want to train my dog.” which I think is a very inappropriate comment to make.

Now she’s being salty with me because I told her that comment was uncalled for and once again, that I cannot work with her for free because I have bills to pay. I don’t think I owe her anything. AITJ?”

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rbleah 6 months ago
First she is being cheap cause FAAAAMMMMMIIIILLLLY. Second she won't follow up her own training with the pup. So why in the world would you GIVE UP YOUR TIME FOR FREE to someone who WILL NOT LISTEN TO YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE. She thinks she has the upper hand cause SHE HAS MONEY. Quit being miss nice and tell her either she pays you for YOUR TIME AND TRAINING or quit pushing you and find someone else who is willing to do this for free cause YOU WON'T.
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20. AITJ For Waking Up My Cousin's Baby While Letting My Dogs Out?

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“For context, this happened a week ago, but I just can’t stop questioning the morality my decisions. I’ll call the toddler Tina and my cousin Jake.

It’s about 3:30-4:00 am. My cousin (male, early 20s) and his baby (female, almost 2) are staying the night at me (female, mid teens) and my parent’s house.

I’m well aware of his routine. At about 3:30 to 4:00 am, Tina wakes up and needs a bottle.

However, I also have three chihuahuas. They need a bathroom trip at about, you guessed it, 3:30-4:00 am every night.

I had woken up maybe 10 minutes ago when they had begun to stir and whine a little, but I was trying to wait as long as possible, because I knew Jake would be making Tina a bottle soon, and she would definitely be woken by the dogs.

When I heard the door to the guest room open, I figured I could wait a few minutes and then let the dogs out. They where whining and yapping a little, but we probably had a few more minutes.

But to my horror, the second Jake makes nosie in the kitchen, all the dogs jump off the bed with their crazy loud nails and start whining really loudly at my door.

I hear Tina call out the names of my dogs, and I need to make a decision quickly.

I eventually decide (decide is a strong word, I was still quite groggy) that between the loud nails and the whine-yaps, Tina is fully waking up regardless. I might as well just avoid an accident in the house.

I open my door.

The dogs immediately dash to the door, and I do the “walk of shame” to open it. Tina is fully awake at this point, and happily chatting about wanting to play. I “decided” (pretty groggy) that I should just face the back door in silence.

Was trying to minimize damage.

I could practically feel Jake’s irritation as he made the bottle and mumbled “we’re going back to bed”. Tina eventually went back to sleep, but it took over 30 minutes.

In the morning, Jake seemed much less, but still a little mad at me.

He said that I “should have just waited”, and “did you just want to play with Tina in the middle of the night or something!?”

Context: When I was a kid (like 5-8), I was known for waking babies, toddlers, and little kids in the family from their naps, and even in the middle of the night.

This was not done with ill intent, I only wanted to play.

I tell Jake that that was not my intention and that it hurt that he would think that of me (I was 99% sure it was a jab meant to hurt, Jake knows me too well to think I would actually do that), and he also says that I “didn’t even acknowledge him” after I “woke his kid up”.

I explained what had happened from my point of view, and Jake didn’t seem mad after, but he didn’t apologize for saying that I was waking the baby up on purpose (again, 99% sure that was a jab at me).

Then, I felt what I did was right, but after getting the opinions of my friends, I’m having doubts. So, am I the jerk?”

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ashbabyyyy 6 months ago
Why is a two-year-old still waking up for a bottle in the middle of the night? NTJ
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19. AITJ For Refusing to Handle Scheduling and Reminders for My Dog Grooming Client's Appointments?

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“I do dog grooming from home and I have a client that comes every 6 weeks. We’ll call the dog Claire. I had stopped grooming for a few years and Claire’s mom absolutely “lost it” on me asking why I can’t still groom her dog and that she would even pay me $400.

December 2022 I start grooming again and immediately let Claire’s mom know this. She books and appointment and when the day comes she’s a “no call, no show.” I call her, she apologizes, says her husband will leave right now with the dog and be to my house in 20 min.

This throws off scheduling but I say okay anyways and we get the grooming done, whatever.

Now, in an effort to make sure they don’t miss their next appointment, I offer to text Claire’s dad the day before as a reminder. He agrees,tells me to figure out when their next grooming will be and text it to his wife.

I text Claire’s mom that the next appointment in 6 weeks will be on this day, at 10am if that works for her. She responds 2 days later to confirm the appointment, again whatever. After the next grooming he tells me to just make the appointment myself for every 6 weeks and text him the day before to remind him.

So we do it that way for about 3 months.

This Saturday I woke up and realized I didn’t text Claire’s dad his reminder text, so at 7:30am I text Claire’s dad that we have her down for grooming at 10, sorry I forgot to remind him and to let me know if the appointment still works for that day.

He replies that he will be there.

When he shows up for the appointment, he says that I need to remind him the day before because Claire’s mom was mad she wasn’t aware of appointment and thus he was now in the dog house. I apologized and said please the blame is on me and to let Claire’s mom know that.

I get the grooming done and he says the usual “make the appointment and let me know.” When he left I text both him and Claire’s mom and said I think we are getting confused when I book the appointment and remind them, so to let me know in 5 weeks (so i can ensure there is a spot for the follwing week)when you want to schedule her again.

Claire’s mom says “im not confused, I tell Claire’s dad to write it down and he doesn’t. Can you book her for 6 weeks and text me and I’ll write it down?”

Here is where I’m wondering if I’m the jerk if I no longer make the appointment for Claire’s parents.

I don’t understand why they can’t put a recurring reminder in their phone for every 6 weeks or go through the calendar and mark the appointment for the next 6 months?

I replied to Claire’s mom “OK, let me know what day you would like to book again, thank you.” She replies, “a Saturday at 10 is fine.” I reply back “ok, let me know the day and I will book the appointment for you.”

So, AITJ if i refuse to look up when the next appointment is, text it to Claire’s parents and then also text them the day before the appointment to remind them. Or, are Claire’s parents asking a bit too much expecting me to book an appointment for THEIR dog?”

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rbleah 6 months ago
It is NOT YOUR JOB to keep tabs on THEIR DOG'S GROOMING. I have NEVER relied on the groomer to remind me about my dog's grooming schedule. They are just being lazy and putting this off on you. Tell them from now on it is THEIR JOB to do the scheduling and you no longer have the time to keep tabs on THEIR DOG'S schedule. If they choose to go to someone else that is one less headache for you.
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18. AITJ For Snapping at My Partner About Our Cat?

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“Our cat is dealing with an unknown medical issue, so we have been giving her a few medications over the last few days. For those who haven’t experienced this, it can be a bit of an ordeal for many cats, as they don’t like being trapped and then essentially have a syringe shoved in their mouth.

It started out as both of us teaming up to give the meds for 1.5 days, but quickly became just me giving the meds solo. Again, this is a somewhat traumatic experience for the cat, and the cat prefers me to my partner, so my partner has more or less implied that if I do it solo then maybe the cat will warm up to them while the cat thinks I’m tormenting it 3x/day (I’m just trying to help it).

Fast forward to tonight, I was struggling with the meds while my partner just watched and made some half-baked offer, “Do you need help?” right at a time that it was impossible to hand things over or bring in a helping hand. Just as I finished delivering the meds, my cat immediately started foaming at the mouth and then running to hide.

I was almost to tears seeing this and trying to corral her and figure out how to help her.

I was able to pick her up and carry her to the bathroom to try and get her some water while my partner just sort of stood there watching in shock.

I quickly and firmly asked if I could get some help—Google what to do in this situation, what does foaming mean, something. My partner just plainly said, “My phone is dead,” and stood there flat footed. I shot back, rather angrily, “Okay, plug it in! Get your computer.

Ask Alexa. Do something!” So my partner goes and plugs their phone in, which takes time to boot up from dead, during which time I was able to run to the other room, get my computer, and start Googling what to do, all while my poor cat is freaking out and still foaming.

It ended up being apparently a somewhat common reaction to medication, but I’ve never once in my life witnessed a cat foaming at the mouth, so I was panicked that the cat was having a seizure or dying or god knows what. It was a very hectic situation for the span of it.

The whole situation spanned maybe 2 minutes, with me saying maybe all of 5 things in an escalating manner. I admit that I was definitely agitated and was talking in a very firm, terse tone, because frankly I expected my partner to actually do something rather than stand and watch, but I never cursed or said anything insulting (e.g.

didn’t call anyone an idiot or say anything “mean” if you were to read the transcript).

In the aftermath, the sole topic has been that I am a jerk for talking how I did and there has been zero discussion about the well-being of our cat. I apologized, as I did raise my voice and speak in a manner that I never do and was extremely direct, but in the heat of the moment I was 100% focused on the cat rather than minding my tone and saying please/thank you.

I’m now sleeping on the couch because of this.

So, AITJ?”

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CG1 6 months ago
Screw your Jerk Partner ! Awww hurt his waddle feelings ? He can grow up ,the useless Man Baby !! What mattered was the Cat not his useless jerk
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17. AITJ For Selling My Old Clothes Instead of Donating Them to My Cousin?

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“Basically, my whole life, I (18f) have been donating clothes to my younger cousin (16f) because I have a better financial situation. I never really thought about it, it’s always been just normal, when I don’t want an outfit anymore I give it to her.

However, I moved out of my parent’s house for college, and they have the mindset that for me to become a responsible adult I need to start my adult life “on my own”.

I know that I have a great privilege since they pay for my college, but food, leisure, and just the costs of living, in general, have weighed a little on me.I’ve been working part-time, but last month when I was cleaning out my closet I found some valuable clothes that I don’t wear anymore and thought about selling them, to get a little more comfort in my finances.

Branded stuff like Gucci and Prada…

But when I told my mother about the idea, she freaked out and said that I would be very selfish to do that, that she and my father always gave me access to the best things, and that I would be denying my cousin that privilege, since she only gets have access to it through me.

I felt very guilty and in the end, I’ve been able to live on what I have been earning, there was just nothing left, so I gave my clothes to my cousin.

So last week talking to my cousin she commented that she managed to buy herself a car.

I got really excited and asked her how she bought it since she doesn’t work, and she told me that she was selling some of the clothes that I had passed on to her recently.

At the time I confess I was very angry, I know that after you give someone something they can do whatever they want with it, but my mother convinced me to give her the clothes because my cousin needed them.

I didn’t say anything to her because I didn’t want to say anything stupid. But soon after, I called my mother and told her what happened and said that I would never give away my clothes again, since now I also need to buy my things with my own money, and things haven’t necessarily been easy, it’s not like I have money to spare.

Here’s where the problem starts, because my mother basically said that I’m a big jerk and that I’m being selfish. She said that I’ve always had all the privileges in life and that’s why I have an obligation to be generous. But at the same time, I DO NOT have access to those privileges rn.

My mother told my cousin and aunt about it too, and they both sent me messages saying that I should rethink my attitude, that her life was never easy, and that I’m being cruel.

My friends were half and half, some said that in fact I always had everything and that I would be stingy to insist on that money, but other friends understood that, at the moment, money makes a difference to me. I don’t want to sell just to have money for having it, it’s to help with my bills.

AITJ for not wanting to help my cousin by donating my clothes to her?”

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rbleah 6 months ago
If cousin had enough money to buy a car then she no longer needs your old clothes. Just STOP TELLING MOM ANYTHING and just sell your clothes as YOU see fit. Cousin is no longer a child and YOU DON'T OWE HER ANYTHING. You have been MORE THAN GENEROUS throughout your life about this. Time to look out for yourself since YOU NO LONGER HAVE GOODIES FROM MOM AND DAD. Nuff said.
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16. AITJ for Considering Skipping My Sister's Wedding Due to Our Family's Background?

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“So for some background, my mom and siblings are in a religious cult that I (25 F) left 2 years ago. I did not leave on good terms and basically ran away. I felt there was no other option at the time, as I had dealt with 7 years of emotional and verbal mistreatment from some of the leadership there.

I have since been diagnosed with a multitude of mental health conditions, including PTSD.

I have tried to work on mending relationships with my immediate family since I left, and have owned up and apologized for the way that I left. However, it has been clear that when I try to reach out or spend time with them, they are only concerned with my “salvation”.

Also, as a little background, the church my family belongs to does not believe in “going out” but rather ops for “courtship” (think supervised conversations and time together, not touching, hugging or kissing until the wedding day)

Flashback to a week ago today, my dad texted me a picture of my oldest sister (26 F) with a man from the church (29 M) surrounded by flower petals in the shape of a heart.

I assumed this was my dad’s way of telling me that my sister was now courting someone, so I asked and he confirmed and told me I should text her. I didn’t reach out, because I felt like this was her news to share with me and also didn’t want to make her uncomfortable as we are not as close as we once were.

Then, on Thursday of this week, my sister sends a text to our extended family with a picture of her and the same man in the flower petal heart – but in this picture he is down on one knee. The next picture is of her showing of a RING.

I immediately texted my dad who confirmed that they were indeed engaged and had “skipped courting”.

I was in absolute shock all day on Thursday. Extremely hurt that my sister didn’t reach out privately to tell me, and that I was finding out at the same time as family she never speaks to.

However, I am mostly sad for her. I know the way the church views marriage and the future she is destined for, especially considering she is marrying a man she barely knows.

I am now faced with 2 options. 1.) Miss my sisters wedding. I know we aren’t close anymore, but at one point she was my best friend and I would be heartbroken to not get to see her big day, even if I do think it’s a mistake.

2.) Face my family for the first time in 2 years and watch my sister get married and further trapped in a cult.

AITJ if I choose not to go or will I regret it forever? I have thought about setting some boundaries and “rules” for me to come (i.e I get to bring my partner, I only stay for the ceremony, etc.) but I don’t know if I have the grounds to do so. I don’t want to hurt my sister, but I have also done so much healing over the last 2 years, and I do not want to throw myself backwards by facing my family before I am ready.”

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fcaviness 6 months ago
NTJ! If you choose to go, by all means, set boundaries. And if they can't respect those boundaries, then don't go. Having your partner there with you is going to help you, because they will most likely try to drag you back in and guilt trip you. That's just my opinion.
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15. WIBTJ For Confronting My Parents About Their Lack of Affection Towards My Sick Son?

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“When my brother married and had his baby, my parents were extremely happy. Turned out, the baby is a girl, which is fine and my parents still happy (even though, my mom told me, she wish my niece was a boy). Then I got married and had my baby.

When I told my parents that my baby is a boy, they are more excited than before. But found out that my baby had a heart defect and multiple surgeries required to fix it. And no one knows if my son will grow up sick. He has a long list of diagnoses, that one kid that always sick and even a simple infection will leave him not be able to move from his bed.

He got chickenpox 2 times and was extremely ill from it, severe enough to sent him to pediatric ICU.

He’s also suffer from multiple Autoimmune, until he (finally!) was diagnosed with Primary Immunodeficiency and start the right treatment but still have a poor health and all of the infections has left permanent damage in his body.

When we still struggle with my son, my sister had her baby boy and not long after that, my brother had his second baby, a baby boy this time, and I once again saw how excited my parents were. They are extremely loves my niece and nephew, but not so much to my son.

I’m the only child who live abroad. Both my brother and sister live in the same country as my parents. We can understand that we missed so many moments (like new year, Christmas, or small events like my niece or nephews birthday), we couldn’t go to my home country because my son is always ill.

All these years, I feels like my parents do not really love my son. They never ask about him, never text/call if we are not text/call them first. Never send any gift (ok, we are not really expecting a gift), but not even a single birthday wishes.

13 years and they always said that they forgot his birthday. It happens every single year.
But they always excited for my niece and nephew’s birthday, I know because we have a family group chat. Every year, early in the morning they’ll send birthday wishes, even with a video.

And later that day, my brother/sister will send a video of the birthday child unboxing a gift from my parents with a thank you video.

I never show our family group chat to my son (he doesn’t have his own phone). All he knows is my parents are super busy and they getting older so they can’t remember people’s birthday really well.

He sometimes wants to call them. Before every call, I’ll text my parents first to make sure that they aren’t busy, but most of the time they always told me that they are busy and will call us when they could. But it never happen, it’s always us that have to reach out again.

WIBTJ if I tell them my feelings and ask them to show more love to my son?”

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fcaviness 6 months ago
I don't think you wbtj but be prepared for hurt feelings. Sometimes it just doesn't work out the way we want it to. I feel for you and your family and I think they are being unfair. Both my boys were NICU babies, but my family and my husband's family never treated them any different than my sister's baby, who didn't have to stay in the NICU. You just can't make some people show common courtesy.
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14. AITJ For Setting Boundaries With My Dad About His New Partner?

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“Context: I’m F23, and my parents got separated in January 2021. It was messy and horrible, but eventually it settled, until this happened.

Fast forward to mid 2022, when my dad phoned me and explained that he was seeing someone (I’ll call her A). I knew that my parents would eventually move on, so I took it fairly well.

Over the course of the next few days, I learnt a lot more about how their relationship came to be, and that it wasn’t as innocent as my father lead on.
Turns out, they had, what my father calls, an “inappropriate friendship” while my parents were still together.

He swears it never got physical, but admits that he did seek an inappropriate amount of emotional support from her. When this news came out, I had a very hard time processing this information. I’d never thought that my dad could do something like this. He was my hero, the person I looked up to, and in the beginning of the separation, he was the person I leaned on the most for support.

I felt like I could always go to him for help, that we could talk about anything and have constructive conversations. But after I learnt this… it felt like he broke my trust in him. Some time passed, and I was able to process and heal a bit, but I didn’t know how I felt about A, and if I ever wanted to meet her.

She is part of the reason my family is broken. Eventually, I met her, and from then on I began to see her more frequently, but the more I saw and interacted with her, the more conflicted I was becoming, not to mention it made me physically ill to see my dad being romantic/flirty with someone besides my mother.

I recently came to the decision that I cannot afford to give A the relationship she and my father may want me to have with her. There is too much pain and betrayal for me to just act like it didn’t happen, or that I’m perfectly fine that my dad is seeing the person he stepped out on on my mother with.

And yes, my dad may call it an “inappropriate friendship”, but to me, if you go and do something with someone, that you should be doing with your spouse (physically or emotionally), you had an affair.

A phone conversation took place recently, and my dad told me that he didn’t like that I don’t say hello or goodbye to A, and that he raised me to be polite.

I agreed with him that me not doing so is impolite, but besides that, I am polite when she engages with me, though I never initiate conversation.

By the end of the phone call, we both established boundaries.

His: “I expect you to be polite when you are around her”

Mine: “I expect you to tell me is she is attending a social gathering, so I can decide if I want to see her.”

I made it clear that because of our boundaries, I may choose not to attend these gatherings, and that I’m not doing this in spite of him, or to make him feel bad, I’m just trying to respect his boundary while also upholding my own. So, AITJ?”

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fcaviness 6 months ago
NTJ, he made choices that affected everyone else and now he has to live with that choice. Everyone has a right to their feelings.
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13. WIBTJ If I Didn't Attend A Wedding?

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“I (36F) was asked to be a bridesmaid a friend’s (T, 28) wedding. T was having a small bridal party:sister (S, 23, MOH) me & L. I’ve been a bridesmaid a lot but neither S nor L have. With less than 5 months to go nothing was for a bridal shower/bachelorette party/etc.

T was getting anxious so I offered to help S plan. I’ve only met S once & was pretty intimidated by her. I didn’t want to step on S’s toes which is why I asked T instead of going straight to S. T agreed & started a group chat

Shortly after, I experienced a major trauma (relevant later), so I thought diving into bachelorette planning would be a good distraction for me.

Unfortunately, S & I ended up having different approaches to planning. She’s a procrastinator who isn’t concerned with the details. I am proactive/organized. I did most of the research but had to run everything by S for approval. She often procrastinated or dismissed things. Also I put the entire rental house on my credit card because no one else had that kind of credit limit

As the date got closer, most things were still undecided.

I spoke to T about it, but T just said that is how S is. At this point, the whole thing was causing me anxiety/stress, on top op of the PTSD I was dealing with. I went to T & asked her how she would feel if I didn’t.

I really didn’t think she would mind because L wasn’t going either, she had 8 others going & I still paid 100% of my share of the trip. T asked me why I didn’t want to go & I told her I had a lot of stress/anxiety lately.

She pressed me to, “Tell me the truth.” So, I added I was uncomfortable with the dynamic between S & me. Then, T uninvited me as a bridesmaid. She said, “You have a lot going on & I think being a bridesmaid is too much for you right now.” I was hurt but I wasn’t going to fight her on it.

TBH, I was pretty offended too.

After that our daily text messages went to zero. After a few weeks, I reached out to schedule a phone call. We set it up but when it came around she was busy so we rescheduled. The next time she was at her S’ house.

I didn’t want to have that conversation while she was at S’s, so I asked to reschedule again. She said she would step outside to talk, but I didn’t feel comfortable. I tried not to make a big deal about it but T said I was being ridiculous & that she was going to step away from our texts because she felt she was being blamed for something she didn’t do.

That was a month ago. Since then I haven’t heard from her. I was hoping we would talk before the wedding, but I’ve already tried twice & I feel like the ball is in her court. The wedding is 5 weeks away & I would feel awkward attending with our friendship the way it is now.

On the flip side, I know not going out to a wedding you RSVPed to is a jerk move. FWIW I would give a heads up ASAP & would offer to pay the cost if it was too late to change the headcount. I’m afraid if I don’t go, our friendship would be over for sure.WIBTJ if I didn’t go to her wedding?”

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LilVicky 6 months ago
She’s not your friend
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12. AITJ For Telling My Son The Truth About What Beef Is?

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“My partner and I have been vegan for years. We have a 4 year old son who eats the same things as us, so for now is also plant-based.

We have always said that our goal will be to instill vegan values in him, but that ultimately, once he gets to the age where he starts to have more autonomy, he won’t be punished or anything for choosing to consume animal products when presented with the opportunity–that will be his choice.

Though of course it would be a (secret) bummer for us, lol. But that’s why we refer to him as plant-based rather than vegan, until he chooses that label for himself, basically.

The rest of our family is not vegan and generally doesn’t try to be accommodating regarding that either.

For example, my MIL insisted on throwing a bday party for my husband, but then mentioned the morning of that she would be serving pizza, cake, and ice cream (non vegan) and that we should bring our own versions to the party “if we wanted to eat some.” Which wouldn’t have been unreasonable except for that it was a party she was throwing FOR my husband.

Just little things like that.

ANYWAY.

Last weekend we went to a BBQ at a relative’s house. Per usual, we brought our own food. Veggie dogs.

My son was sitting on my MILs lap with his veggie dog and she was eating a (beef) burger. She asked him if he wanted a bite.

This is the first time I’ve seen her offer him meat. She wasn’t trying to be sneaky about it. I think that by asking in front of me, she was testing the waters a bit regarding our earlier statements about him having the choice to eat animal products if he wanted to.

He said, “is it cow or veggie?” (we eat plenty of veggie burgers, veggie nuggets, etc so he knows to ask what things are made of)

MIL said “no honey, it’s beef.”

He said “Beef?”

She said “yes, it’s good! Try a bite.”

I was sitting across the table and watching my son process her answer, which in my opinion was intentionally indirect, so I offered, “beef is another word for cow.”

My son said, “cow???” and pulled a kind of shocked face, which actually surprised me because he knows most other people eat animals, but he acted like this was unheard of lol.

My MIL gave me such a dirty look. My son did not try her burger, ate a few more bites of his veggie dog, and went to play. My MIL got up and went inside and I didn’t see her for the rest of the BBQ.

Later, my FIL called my husband berating him for allowing me to “drive a wedge between your mother and her only grandchild by making him think she is an animal killer or something” (this is close to verbatim), that I can’t “keep him from eating normal food” forever, and I should apologize.

We don’t think I did anything wrong, but my BIL texted my husband also, said he thinks their parents are overreacting but that I should have not been “so specific about what beef is” and that it DOES seem like I was trying to throw my MIL under the bus.

AITJ?”

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rbleah 6 months ago
HAHAHAHA Your MIL is a nitwit. At four he has seen pics of cows but not old enough to put together that we eat beef WHICH IS COW, DUH. When he is older and understands better where our food comes from he may choose to try/eat meats but that is for much later. You did not thow a fit and yell at him IT IS COW. I don't care if he is the first grandchild, it is NONE OF HER BUSINESS HOW YOU RAISE YOUR KIDS as long as you are NOT ABUSING THEM. Tell them they can all BUTT OUT OF YOUR BUSINESS.
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11. AITJ For Encouraging My Daughter's Friend To Try Healthier Foods?

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“I, 42F, am the mother to 3 girls aged 15, 12, and 9. This issue involves my middle daughter, Natalie, and her best friend Alice. Several weight-exacerbated diseases all run in our family, so health and fitness are really important to us. We have family workout sessions, we put a heavy emphasis on nutrition education, moderation, and the importance of listening to what your body is telling you.

I don’t keep my children on a specific diet, I don’t count their calories. It’s not a lifestyle that is for everyone, but my children are happy, motivated, bright, and healthy.

Natalie and Alice have been friends for several years now. Alice comes to our house regularly to visit.

Alice is a bigger girl. I am not sure what she eats at home, but she often is over at our home for dinner, and while I am happy to feed her, she is constantly griping about the food I cook. She is quick to call our food weird, smelly, gross, etc, and often flat-out refuses to eat what I’ve cooked.

We don’t have snacks in our house, only fruits and veggies which she also often complains about.

This evening Alice was over, and I cooked salmon with rice and veggies. I called everyone to the table, and when Natalie and Alice came downstairs, Alice audibly gagged at what I had cooked.

I was at a tipping point so I told her that maybe if she would try some of the food I make that she’d be surprised that it was both tasty and that it was good for her body. She sat in silence for the rest of the meal and was picked up shortly thereafter.

Her mother called me to cuss me out and started accusing me of fat-shaming her daughter and how not all of us could be a tiny little malnourished twig that stays home and plays house while my husband works all day. She told me I was to never talk to her daughter that way ever again and asked me if it would kill me to throw some chicken tenders in the oven for the kids and my husband and I could eat whatever frou-frou fancy food we wanted to, to which I told her that I only cook 1 meal and that all of my other children’s friends eat my food no problem, or POLITELY decline when I’ve made something they don’t like.

I didn’t even comment on her daughter’s body so I’m not sure where the fat-shaming accusation even came from. I am also an ex-fat girl myself (my BMI was almost 40 at my heaviest) so I know how bad a miscalculated comment can hurt so I wouldn’t be so flippant with a kid.

I was pretty mad at the accusation, but now I’m cooling off, the way I said it could have sounded bad to Alice and that’s where I think I might be the jerk. I told my husband about it and he thinks I could have probably phrased it better but that I was right, but now I have both Alice’s grandma and aunt in my DMs calling me the jerk. AITJ?”

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LilVicky 6 months ago
NTJ send the kid home before it’s time for dinner
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10. AITJ For Telling My Friend The Harsh Reality Of The Modeling Industry?

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“Some backstory, I’ve been modeling with a agency since I was 16, in model standards my career is successful. I’m 21F now and somewhat taking a break to focus on school. I’ve known my friend 21F (she is 5’5, midsized, and looks like your average person important for later) for a few months now and the topic of modeling came up.

It came up that I used to model full time and just recently slowed down for school. She asked what agency I’m with and I told her the name; and told me that she wanted to join that agency and do high fashion work and how lucky I was.

I shrugged and told her good for her but she noticed something was up and asked why I was acting like that. I told her it was nothing but she kept pushing and pushing till I told her modeling isn’t all fun and games.

I told her the truth about the industry and how toxic it is.

How on the outside it looks like it’s changed but it hasn’t. How I’ve been harassed by agents for my hip measurements being 35.7 instead of 35 and constantly being rejected for things out of my control. I also told her about the pay and how it isn’t this huge paycheck right after but very random and there were months I had to stretch the paycheck or get an advance for a smaller amount for fee’s.

When I told her there were covers/shows I’ve done for pay in exposure she didn’t believe me and called me a liar. She then goes on to talk about Lily Rose Depp/Kendall Jenner and how they get paid millions for their work. I told her they are firstly nepo babies and secondly the top 1% of the industry and it can take the most amazing model years to get there if they even get that lucky.

She kept saying that isn’t true and those girls just aren’t good models and how once she gets there she’ll make it to that level.

This is where I snapped and told her she’s not even tall enough or unique for runway work. She once again brought up Lily Rose Depp and how she’s walked for Chanel multiple times even though she’s short.

I once again told her to remember who her parents are and the connections she has. She then said the industry isn’t like that anymore. This is where I went off and said the industry hasn’t changed like that. That there still isn’t a market for petite midsize girls and she isn’t big enough for plus size modeling but not small enough either.

I mentioned how if they made such a fuss about a .7 difference in my hips why would they care about her. She has no connections to help her on the runway and she is a normal person and that commercial work is the only chance she has at modeling.

After this she called me a jealous hater and stormed off.

She hasn’t talked to me since. This is where I feel like im the ahole for being so harsh and telling her that she’d fail in hf and that her only chance at success is with commercial modeling. I asked another friend and she said I should have just went along with what she was saying even though I knew she was completely wrong.”

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rbleah 6 months ago
Just go about your life now and know that she needs to find out the hard way. She won't believe you until she is smacked upside her head by the facts of that lifestyle. Don't apologize to her, in fact don't talk to her at all. Let her sink or swim on her own. You may have been a little harsh BUT she pushed you to that point.
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9. AITJ For Not Wanting My Younger Sister At My 16th Birthday Dinner?

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“So basically, I, (15F) am turning 16 in less than a week. We’re going out to this really fancy dinner, and I was super excited, because I thought that it would just be me, my parents, my grandma’s from my dad and mom’s side, and a friend of my choosing, (who would’ve been my cousin, but she’s busy with summer school so i’m not even sure if she’ll be able to attend).

Anyways, I  have two younger sisters, one is 13 and the other is 12. the 13 yr old I actually really like because she treats me as an actual person, but the other one, who will be the main focus of this post, treats me like crap.

I’ll list a few recurring instances as examples.

She has embarrassed me multiple times in front of her friends by calling me bad names, acting as if I’m her servant, or yelling at me.

She has told me MULTIPLE times that she hates my guts.

She embarrasses me in front of my friends by outright being mean to them, and calling them names etc.

She’s also yelled at me in front of my friends.

I overheard my parents a couple days ago talking about the fancy dinner we would be going to for my birthday. they mentioned both of my sisters names, and while I don’t mind 13yr old coming, i do mind the youngest coming.

She’s ruined my birthday dinners before, by either making a scene or embarrassing me in front of my friends by trying to make me out to be this horrible person.

I’ve told my other sister about this and she’s on my side. i also talked to my cousin about it and she agreed as well, so i’m just trying to get the guts to tell my parents that i don’t want her at my birthday dinner.

i want her to come to the celebration we have at our house, because she’s still my sister and i love her, but i don’t really want to be publicly humiliated on my 16th birthday.

I don’t really know if i’m being a jerk or not and i just really want to know if I’m the jerk for not wanting her there.

i feel really guilty because she’s still my sister, but my gut is telling me that she can’t be there if i want to have a nice dinner where i’m not antagonized every second. (please keep in mind that if she didn’t go i wouldn’t have my other sister go because I don’t want her to be alone or feel left out) so, AITJ?”

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mima 6 months ago
Ntj.
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8. AITJ For Demanding Equal Treatment From My Parents?

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“My sister has always been my parents’ favorite. They treat her with much more respect than they treat me, and are much nicer to her. They always tell her everything I do, all the embarrassing mistakes I’ve made and my failures. In contrast they never tell me anything about her.

I do pretty much all the chores around the home, and my sister does no chores, yet they still treat her better. This summer I work full time at a local store, and my parents demand a good percentage of my salary to help with bills and household expenses.

This only makes it harder for me to be independent and move out. Yet every year for Christmas and her birthday she gets a good amount of money, and my parents let her be independent. Despite that I’m more responsible and hard-working, she gets better treatment.

For example, my parents always knock before entering her room, but they always barge into my room without knocking. They give me a bedtime of 9:30 each night, but let her stay up until midnight. Last couple years in college they made me live back home, while they had no problem with her going to sleepovers almost every weekend.

And the list goes on.

What really gets on my nerves is that they scold me around her. Whenever I do something wrong they would wait until my sister is around and then berate me. She seems to enjoy watching me being scolded. After they scold me she acts really snobbish toward me and “parents” me (i.e.

talk to me in a baby voice, tell me what to do, criticize everything I do, etc.) They rarely get mad at her, and when they do they just let it slides or talk to her privately.

Yesterday I was helping my parents reorganize the garage, and my dad gave me instructions on where to put certain things.

I didn’t quite understand one of the instructions and placed an item in the wrong place. When my dad noticed it he got furious and yelled at me for not following his instructions. I said that I thought he told me to put it where I did, and then he told me I should ask him if I’m unsure rather than assume I know.

After this burst he seemed okay until dinner time, my dad brought this up again, and my mom and sister were also there. He told me that in the past I would never talk to him or ask him for guidance, and do things my own way and mess things up.

He brought up countless times in the past where I didn’t listen to him or consult with him before doing something, and called me selfish and egoistic. I explained that I want to learn to be independent and that he is overbearing and biased against me.

My sister immediately said that my dad cares about me and that I need to talk to him more. My parents vocalized their agreement with what she said, and then I said that they need to stop scolding me around my sister, because it only adds to the discomfort and humiliation. My dad lost it and began screaming, and I just left the table to go to my room. AITJ?”

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Bruinsgirl143 6 months ago
Ntj move out and never look back
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7. AITJ for Moving to Empty Seats at a Musical to Avoid a Fidgety Spectator?

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“My husband (38m) and I (34f) went out last night to see a musical. Our tickets were in the 2nd row of the mezzanine (balcony). A group of 4 people were sitting in front of us which was expected being in the second row. Immediately I noticed the woman sitting directly in front of me was …

fidgetty. She leaned forward, back, side to side to speak with other members of her group, rubbed her partners’ back for a solid 5 minutes, leaned down to get her water bottle every 2 minutes, scratched her head constantly, and took of her shoes one at a time to scratch her feet.

She did not sit still for more than 60 seconds at a time. I understand that some movement is necessary and expected but this was agressive, excessive, and honestly something I’ve never seen before on the social etiquette scale. I’m 5’2″ and impeded views are part of my lot in life, but this was on a whole other level.

I found myself constantly moving from side to side, back and forth, in opposite directions of her just so I could see a sliver of the stage. When she sat still and leaned back in her seat my view was great but these moments of calm were few and far between.

I understand this may not have been her fault and maybe she had an illness or disorder which forces her to move a lot which is why I would never say anything, also sometimes you just have bad luck with seats so we were determined to try to enjoy the show while silently rolling our eyes at each other in the really absurd moments.

In general, we’re not confrontational people. When intermission came around we noticed the seats directly behind us were empty. We asked the couple sitting in that row if anyone had been sitting there and they said no. So after returning from the break we made our move.

Immediately I noticed the couple behind us switch seats with each other followed by the woman expressing loudly about how we should have stayed in the seats we paid for and how it was rude of us to inconvenience them because we had been inconvenienced. She definitely meant for us to hear her and I was immediately mortified.

My husband turned around and politely asked if we were blocking their view and if so we would move back to our seats. She backed down a bit and said “I know I’m being crappy” and her partner followed up by telling us their home had started flooding shortly before the show.

We explained the situation but didn’t have much time to hash everything out before the show started again. I was accutely aware of the interaction the entire second half and tried my best not to move so as not to block their view unnecessarily and my husband confirmed he acted the same.

Last night it seemed like a logical move; empty seats, why not? Thinking about it today I’m questioning our decision. I definitely am feeling like we should have asked that couple before we moved or just suffered through. I need to know, should we have stayed in our seats and dealt with it? Were we the jerks for moving seats?”

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Ishouldntbehere 6 months ago
NTJ, if someone else had turned up for those seats that couple would've been in the same situation, no harm no foul, and clearly you had it worse with the person in front of you. They seemed to get over it once you explained so don't let the get to you.
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6. AITJ For Buying a Prop Sword With My Own Money While Living Under My Parents' Roof?

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“I (19F) have been living with my parents while taking a gap year before going to university. In the gap year I’ve worked as many hours as I could in a shop and have paid rent monthy, on time. I’ve also been saving up money for university.

Having a job means I have money I can spend on things I want, or so I thought. Recently, I bought a prop sword because I saw a sale on prop Witcher swords. After reading the laws owning and buying a sword I decided to get it because: It is really cool, I want to use if for cosplay when I move out (can’t cosplay in the house because my parents are too judgemental and try to embarrass us), I want to go to a renaissance faire and bring it as a prop (peace-tied, of course) and It makes me happy.

I have no intention of trying to cause harm with it. Even if anyone wanted to, they couldn’t. The sword itself is a prop. Its blunt and you couldn’t cut yourself on the sides of the blade if you tried. The tip is a little pointy, and, being made of steel, its a little heavy, but otherwise a relatively harmless prop.

A while ago my older sibling (19) asked my father about buying a prop handaxe, and he said he didn’t care, but gradually started getting irritated saying “I just don’t get why you’d want an axe if it’s blunt.” Then I said “You’re an adult with your own money, if you want something, buy it.” Which seemed to unintentionally anger my father, as he went off on one about “You are MY children and live under MY roof, you need MY permission and can’t bring anything into MY house without MY say so.” So we left it and my sibling didn’t get one.

So, I had a hunch he might not be happy with ME getting a prop sword, just because it’s me. But didn’t think it would be bad because my father owns airsoft guns (for no reason, he doesn’t play airsoft and says its for losers) and a catapult, both of which he gives to his 12 year old son to use (despite him being quite irresponsible).

Since it came through the door, I’ve kept my sword sheathed, peace-tied and in the back of my wardrobe, hidden.

But since my father saw it, he hasn’t stopped going on about it, saying I did it to spite him (which isn’t true) and that I’m a jerk.

He keeps saying that its dangerous and illegal – which it isn’t, and is threatening to confiscate it because I brought it into his house. He threatened to hand it over to police even though it isn’t sharp. I can see why someone might be concerned about having it in the house but I’m responsible – always have been, and have taken precautions (such as hiding it and peace tying it) to make sure it isn’t a hazard.

My father always seemed to have it out for me, the older I got the more we started to fight and the worse our relationship became. Everyone in my family seems to step on eggshells around him and not get along with him, even my brother (12M) who fawns over. But he hates me the most, so I think it’s more about that. AITJ?”

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Ishouldntbehere 6 months ago
NTJ but you should move out. Sounds like you can afford it, why put up with this any longer? If you're not ready yet coz you're waiting for the uni year to start, but he wants to continue making you pay rent, then get him to draw up a lease for you and treat you like a tenant instead of a child.
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5. AITJ for Getting Angry Because My Family Excluded Me from a Vacation?

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“From the title it may seem like im not in the wrong but my parents think otherwise. I’m a female (16y/o) I have a younger sister (12y/o). This is where it all started, last year I saw a boy group will be on tour in Europe and will come to Denmark.

My aunt lived there and the arena was close to her house to I thought it would be fun to go to the concert with my best friend (I need to mention I was flying there with my grandma).

The concert was in march. My parents didn’t have any problem with me going but my sister threw a fit about how im going to travel and have fun going to the concert while she has to stay home.

We told her she could come with us but she said she didn’t want to so I didn’t understand the point of her throwing this huge fit. My mom told me to let it be and to “make it up” to her she would take her to Denmark with my grandma during our summer holiday.

Time skip to June. My sister saw her favorite artist going on tour and also coming to Denmark so you can understand that she will be going there too. Yesterday while talking my sister asked something about their trip to Denmark in August. I was confused so I asked about it cause my grandma told me that they wont be going there anymore because it wont work out.

My mom looked at me confused saying “No we’re going without her, Me, your dad and *sisters name*”. I then asked what about me and she replied, “Well you already went there in march” I started getting angry because they left me out of this “family vacation” and said how unfair it is because I went there with my own money and they will pay for my sister to go there in August and to the concert in December.

I told her that if she’s going to the concert also they should bring me to Denmark. And my mom started saying how selfish I was because I didn’t think about them while going there in march but they have to think about bringing me now.

I was angry and shouting at this point because I had asked them if they wanted to go to Denmark, my sister especially and she just refused so how am I selfish here?

My mom then said “fine if its such a big deal were going there lets all just stay home” then I replied to her saying thats she’s making me seem like the bad guy here as if I didn’t want them to go.

Just to clarify I was ok with them going but the fact that they didn’t even think about me or even informed me I’ll be staying alone was what got to me. The whole fight didn’t lead to anything. They are still going there and my sister will still be going to the concert.

Everyone in my family thinks I’m in the wrong and that I’m a jerk for making this into a big deal. I feel left out and out of place, mind you I’m 16 while my sister is 12 and gets everything she wants. So AITJ for making this into a huge fight? edit: forgot to mention. My mom is also bringing her friend to the trip so in August My mom, her friend, my dad and my sister will be going to Denmark.”

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RisingPhoenix2023 6 months ago
Research 'blame shifting' and 'narcissism'. You are old enough to understand what your parents are. What you choose to do with the knowledge is on you.
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4. AITJ For Feeling Betrayed After My Caterer Friends Took Home Leftovers and Drinks From My Wedding Without Permission?

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“I got married to the love of my life in an intimate wedding here in Finland. We hired what l thought were my bestfriend’s to cater for the wedding because they make such good food. We always hire them when we have home parties line baptism, birthdays and just any gathering.

They didn’t have any catering experience but since we asked, then they said they can do it.

Everything was okay until Monday when we met them to pay for services since they wanted cash and not bank transfer since they don’t want to pay taxes. We met Monday since we were cleaning up the venue and they have another set of orders the day after the party which was Sunday.

Back to our meet up last Monday, l mentioned that l was surprised that we did not have any leftover main dish. All we had was the appetizers, salads and fruits. They my “friend” mentioned that they had sooooooo much foooooood that they have to give away.

That even their neighbors that did not attend the wedding got the food from our wedding.

When l asked her why we didn’t get any, she got annoyed and said that l should ask my FIL. I even asked if l can order again because we felt that we didn’t get enough food after the wedding and she said sure.

Once l got home, l talked my FIL (because him and MIL were taking care of our daughter), he said that he thought that the caterers where taking away food from the buffet table and not taking it home.

I felt devastated and betrayed. I felt like they took advantage of the situation by taking food home without my knowledge.

I never expected anything like this to happen as they are very nice and generous with us whenever we hangout. Imagine you are the caterer, but you took most of the food home and you didn’t give the married couple anything.

I asked other friends that was in the wedding if l was wrong.

They immediately asked how much drinks were left. Then they mentioned that they saw the caterers taking some boxed wines and beers to their vans. My friend said that he didn’t ask me because he thought l have given them permission.

I would have been okay if they ask me, but imagine they did this all behind my back.

We haven’t done any inventory of the drinks but it was almost 2,000€ for 40 please and we also barely had any. I’m feverish just writing this down as l feel betrayed. I’m from SEA and don’t have many friends here in Finland. So l was so happy finding one from the same country as me but now l’m rethinking our friendship.

My husband said give then benefit of the doubt and try to ask them about it. But knowing her, she is a war freak and would rather not have any confrontation since they are very well know in our community and l am not a confrontational person.”

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RisingPhoenix2023 6 months ago
Unless you have a written contract, this is a 'he said she said' never do business with them again without writing specifics in a contract. Consider it a lesson learned.
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3. AITJ for Getting Upset Over My Partner's Grandma Asking About My GPA?

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“My (20F) partner (20M) of 1.5 years graduated college in May with a 4.0 GPA with an objectively easier degree (his words). I’m an engineering major who graduates next May (2024).

I attended graduation with his parents and grandma. I had met his parents several times before and Grandma for the first time the night before.

Before the ceremony started there was some time for us to talk, when the conversation turned towards academia. Grandma asked me “What was BF’s GPA?” and I answered “4.0.” Then Grandma asked, “What’s *your* GPA?” I was taken aback, and answered mine (3.538). There was another very awkward pause.

His mom (same major as me) then swooped in and said “that’s good! I graduated with a 3.3 or something.”

What Grandma did not know is that my crazy parents equated my worth as a person with my high school GPA. I was yelled at if I brought a grade home less than an A, and they once asked me to get my “A-” grades up to “A.” I took dual enrollment classes at the same institution that one parent of mine is a professor at; that parent emailed their colleagues to check up on me.

Because I was a minor (16/17) at that time, parent was legally allowed to access my grades. An AP English teacher gave me a B as my semester grade in junior year and my parents took my report card, yelled at me, and immediately went to the principal.

They pulled out my old essays when talking to the principal as to why I deserved an A and tried to get the teacher fired, but the principal gave me an A since I passed the AP exam. Everyone was happy, so we moved on with life.

They have since lessened up a bit, but don’t want to see any Cs.

After that I was fighting back tears throughout the whole graduation. I felt physically sick and considered leaving halfway through and going back to my apartment. I ended up sobbing in the car on the way home and telling him what grandma said.

He is aware on my parents’ stance on grades and how it affects me.

That night, I skipped his graduation dinner because I was crying and still shaken. I didn’t want to see Grandma again. His mom was furious and said she never wanted to see me again until BF explained the situation.

His dad became sympathetic; mom swept it under the rug and pretended she never said what she said. I’m sure if anyone ever told Grandma about what she said, but I haven’t seen any of them since then.

However, this is still a frequent topic of discussion between me and my partner.

He thinks I’m the one who damaged the relationship between me and his parents and that I’m at fault and need a little more control over my emotions because the GPA question is a “common one to ask to students.” He also knows I have my first therapy appointment in August when I get back to our college town and we are both looking forward to it. I don’t feel like I’m at fault since I have been deprived of the emotional regulation skills a therapist could provide and can’t help that my parents were jerks, but I can also see his point. So, AITJ?”

2 points - Liked by lebe and LilVicky
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bejo 6 months ago
GPA is a common question to ask people you just met? I don't think so! Grandma was out of line, but the mom seemed to be defending OP and trying to smooth it over. Quite frankly, my answer to Grandma would have been, "Why do you ask?" My undergraduate GPA was 3.75 and I'm proud of it, but would still think it intrusive if someone I just met asked.
That said, I think OP let her parents' criticism affect her. Since the mom defended her, I'd contact her and apologize and explain why I was triggered by the question.
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2. AITJ For Not Fully Participating in My Partner's Expensive Haunted Attraction Festival?

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“My partner put on this haunted attraction for a festival. This festival was states away and while the pay wasn’t even remotely worth it, he still wanted to do it for “fun”. I agreed to go help.

The structure was heavy plywood boards and posts that were nailed into square frames.

While I can load and unload boards, it’s extremely difficult for me. I could only get it about 3 inches off the ground, shuffle forward a few feet, drop it, rest, and readjust. In addition to the structure, we also had to bring props which I was of more help with since they’re not as heavy.

I helped as much as I could before heading to the festival but when it came to putting it together he had about 5-6 guys (volunteers). He even specifically told the girls that were also volunteering not to come for set up (they were going to be actors in the haunt) because it was hard work yet he still expected me out there.

I asked why he told the other girls not to come because of how hard it was yet expected me to do it and he tried to change his reasoning and said “Well, they won’t know what to do and they’ll just be in the way” which made no sense because I didn’t know how to put it together either.

In the end, I didn’t help setting up the structure because I thought he had plenty of help and the couple of times I went out there, I was of no use.

Very quickly into this trip though, I was fed up. He didn’t tell me that he had no money before we left so I had to pay for almost a weeks worth of hotel rooms, gas, food that he promised volunteers, and last minute supplies.

I was struggling and FURIOUS. I was almost 2k in the hole. Because of this, I backed off on helping and let volunteers do most the work. I did help some, but not as much as I could have when it came to decorating. Volunteers didn’t help load back up though when it was over because everyone was mad at him by the end of it so I had no choice but to load back up.

It was rough. I was so stressed and it was so hot I even threw up a couple of times.

Months later he brings up in an argument that I was lazy during the trip and didn’t help much. I said at one point “you have to understand, this is your dream, your thing, and it’s not like I was getting paid or anything so of course I’m not working as hard as you” and this set him off.

He accused me of using him for money even though I have never asked him for money. I only said it to get the point across that of course I’m not busting my butt for this festival, it benefits me in no way and he had strong men out there to help.

I didn’t want to get paid, I just wanted the help that I did give to be enough but now I’m thinking that comment did make me a jerk because I am kinda saying “I’m not busting my butt for you because there’s nothing in it for me”.

AITJ for this kind of attitude/comment?”

1 points - Liked by leja2
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rbleah 6 months ago
Tell him that all you got out of this is verbal and emotional abuse. AND YOU HAD TO FORK OVER MONEY FOR HIM to pay to be there and because he lied about feeding everyone and YOU PICKED UP HIS SLACK ABOUT THIS TOO. Tell him that not only did you not make anything off HIS daydream but YOU had to pay for it putting YOU IN DEBT. Please get rid of this man/child who has dreams that HE CAN'T EVEN PAY FOR. HE USED/ABUSED YOU.
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1. AITJ For Pranking My Partner With My Twin Brother?

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“So basically, me (M24) and my twin brother (I’ll call him Kieron, M24) have always done that switcheroo prank because we are identical on people before, swapping our outfits and pretending to be each other for a bit, that sort of thing.

I haven’t seen Kieron in about 6 months as me and my partner (I’ll call him Gary, M31) have moved to another state for a promotion Gary got in his job.

Me and Kieron are extremely close so it felt like a big loss to me, to not see him for such a long time. Luckily for me, Kieron’s wife’s family live in the same state and Kieron was visiting to see his wife’s family for his wife’s birthday, which is today.

So yesterday me and Kieron went to a bar because Kieron took some time away from his wife to have a night out with me. We were having a huge laugh, dancing away and just having an amazing night. It was getting pretty late and we both ended up getting intoxicated and decided to do the switcheroo prank on my partner when we got home, just as a sorta funny callback.

We both have a similar build and similar haircut as well as being identical so it’s hard to tell us apart. We switched clothes in the bathroom and went back to my house. When we got back home, which at this point was about 1AM, we knocked on the door and waited for Gary to come get us.

Me and Gary have awful sleep routines (lol) so we knew he’d be awake still.

My partner saw Kieron and he immediately kissed him on the lips and greeted us. Kieron laughed but just played it off. We continued being stupid and playing the prank to it’s course, acting like each other, Gary even wrapped his arm around Kieron and thats when we revealed that we swapped, but Gary wasn’t laughing.

He pushed Kieron away from him and his face was like thunder.

He immediately started shouting at us, saying how disgusted he was with me and that I was being “paranoid.” I asked why he thought that, and he said that I was testing his faithfulness by seeing how he would be with my brother, I was trying to reassure him that it was just a stupid joke we were doing but he wasn’t listening.

He said that even if it was a prank it was extremely cruel. Kieron tried to defuse the situation by apologizing, but Gary wouldn’t take it. He said my twin Kieron was being like a “homophobic frat boy” by pranking him, a gay man.

That got to Kieron because he’s my biggest supporter and a very big ally.

He said that he was being ridiculous, and it just turned into a shouting match between Kieron and Gary. I was trying to calm them down, but they just kept at it. At some point Gary threatened Kieron that he would tell his wife that he had been kissing him.

Kieron stormed out at that point. After Kieron left, Gary refused to talk to me and just went to sleep on the couch. I offered him to sleep in bed with me, and that I was sorry. He refused to and I went to bed reluctantly.

So, AITJ?”

-3 points (3 vote(s))
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lico1 6 months ago
You and your brother need to grow up. Pranks are childish and idiotic and what you did to your partner is an absolute betrayal of his trust. I hope he dumps you.
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Navigating the complex social intricacies of life can often lead to a crossroads of moral dilemmas. From confronting romantic partners, to standing up for personal boundaries, to dealing with family issues, we all find ourselves questioning, "Am I The Jerk?" We hope these stories have provided you with some food for thought. Continue exploring our other articles below to discover more fascinating stories and insights. (Note: Some stories have been shortened and modified for our audiences)