kien
Metaspoon User

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Ntj, my mother controlled what I wore until I moved out, and let me tell you it was humiliating to be a legal adult and basically still a toddler when it came to knowing my own taste. Add to that having developed ideas that being loved was synonymous with being controlled, and forced to do things I didn't want, or even hated, because my needs "ruin" things for loved ones, and I doubt I need to elaborate too much on how being set up for failure on those fronts has effected my long term relationship with both parents having presented a united front to that end.
Ntj, wanting to share a special event with a friend means understanding you have a whole life going on of your own to think about. Demanding you be there for her regardless the inconvenience is not friendship, and neither is blocking you for even daring to have a boundary.
Lol, your headline had me braced for some kind of "expert fan" no holds barred steamrolling that left the poor kid wishing he'd worn a different shirt, but it sounded like you two had a blast with your mutual enjoyment of a favorite thing. Ntj, maybe your wife felt a little left out though.
I already thought it was classic that the people who created a hostile work environment that you did not even feel comfortable mentioning your happy day in, turn around and call you hostile for not feeding them cake over it. But that turned out to be nothing compared to all the commentators saying you should rub their faces in it by giving them what they wanted in a way that only would make you an even bigger target of the prejudice you wanted to avoid.
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