mawi2
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You are in revovery, high on pain meds, and sending mixed signals.
You aren't tj, but neither are your friends. The paranoia of your roommate "stealing your life" could be the narcotics talking. I've had friends on pain meds for extended periods of time who swore up and down that they heard two friends that were plotting against them in the next room; those friends weren't even in town (or in the same state!). You couldn't reason with my friend until she weened off the pills months later. Luckily everyone understood that she wasn't herself and all was forgiven.
Right now your body and mind are running a gambit. Take care not to overeact or overthink until you are back to your normal self and can look at it all with a clear head. Maybe even seek therapy while you are going through this physical healing process.
Ytj.
Listen to how entitled you are. Mom feels guilty so "helps out financially" but CLEARLY isn't great coping with small kids. After it didnt work the first time, you expected her to do it a second time? A lot of times, we think we can handle things that we cant. She had a panic attack which she can't control. Lucky SD was there to step in.
Put yourself in the mans shoes. He didnt take it out on the kiddo. He was dealing with a woman in full blown panic attack, a small child, AND work (how much of moms "financial help" being offered is coming from HIS hard work?) so you could "have a date night and your other babysitters werent available". Meaning you guys go out often enough, if you have regular sitters.
If you can afford concerts and date nights, why tf are you living with mom?
I'll repeat, yta. You and your husband owe both his mom and SD a deep, humble apology.
It really depends... Is your wife not involved in your marital finances?
Like if you legit couldn't afford to replace it and she can see that, you are not tj. When you see your spouse hiding something, who wouldnt be curious? But, if you could afford to replace and chose not to, just to be petty, ytj.
She also should have called you when it happened like "oh honey, my curiosity got the best of me and I think not only did I spoil my birthday gift, but I broke it. Im so sorry." She tried to hide it, so she is also tj.
Like... you weren't going to realize the gift wasnt there, even if you hadn't stepped on glass? We have a rule around birthdays; dont look in *my hiding spot*. Neither me nor my spouse like to spoil surprises so the month leading to my birthday, I make sure not to go near his hiding spot and vice versa.
You've been together long enough to have better communication than this...
ESH.
Your partner felt belittled by SD so in return, he belittled your SD. A literal veteran who fought for his country. Both of the men in your life need to grow up.
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