soho
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Yes she should respect your rules as a parent but can't say you didn't see this coming so you really put yourself in this situation. And what if next time those cookie crumbles are choking hazard. I'd say it's at least time to get a part-time babysitter if not full time that's not your mama. Again you're not the jerk but you put yourself in this situation
And this is why I recorded calls and conversations with people like your mil. CYOA cover your own ass
I would get out of that relationship. If him and her are sitting there discussing you like that and sharing things that really isn't her business and they're both trying to make you feel like the bad guy at some point she's going to get pissed and she's going to convince him to dump you and he'll let it happen. It's fine to be friends with your ex it's fine to be close friends but you don't send nudes you don't let some other girl compare your new girlfriend to them. You're being gullible if anything but not a jerk
Your husband is 50 in financially stable you got two babies and one more on the way let him spend as much time as he wants with his kids he may not be there for their entire life. At the same token look at your dad's age he comes from a different time when men didn't do things like that even though I don't agree with what he's saying it's a generational thing sadly but you're not the jerk
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