People Open Up About Their Aggravating "Am I The Jerk" Stories

When someone brands us jerks and criticizes our behavior or attitude, we naturally want to defend ourselves and explain why we felt it was appropriate at the time, basically to defend our acts and explain to them why we believed our behavior to be appropriate. These are some testimonies from people who are tired of being accused unfairly and would like an opportunity to defend their past actions. As you read on their stories, tell us who you believe to be the true jerk. AITJ = Am I the jerk? NTJ = Not the jerk WIBTJ = Would I be the jerk? YTJ = You're the jerk

35. AITJ For Getting A Substitute Paraeducator Fired?

“I am a special education teacher in a high school.

I work with students of diverse abilities, needs, personalities, you name it. I take a lot of pride and have passion for my career and wouldn’t trade it for anything else. Me and my support team of dedicated paraeducators (think a classroom aid/support for students with higher needs) have worked hard this year to cultivate a safe and inclusive environment for our students.

A few weeks ago, we had a couple of team members out sick and this necessitated calling in a paraeducator substitute for a Monday through Wednesday stint. She started pressing all of our buttons on the first day, cutting in while I was delivering instruction to students, pretending she had been a part of the classroom from day 1, micromanaging students (i.e. stressing them out), telling me ‘Shhh, she’s figuring it out!’ whenever I questioned a student to check for understanding.

Most of this I can handle and just count down the days until the regular paraeducators return! The last straw, however, was when one of my students with memory retention deficiencies she was born with was trying to read a word out loud and this substitute laughed at her for her error.

That night I reached out to the office manager for the school to request that the remainder of her stint be canceled and she wasn’t welcome in our classroom because her her behavior towards students. The office manager in turn reached out to the principal and I was told the sub had been permanently removed from the substitute list. This entire series of exchanges happened in 10 minutes, and I was happy that my admin followed through so quickly.

I guess I am asking AITJ because this person lost their source of income in this district for good, and they have children in the school who will no doubt find out about it. It’s a small town, so word travels fast. I feel like my job is to teach students social skills and respect, and not grown adults.”

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anma7 4 months ago
NTJ... she behaved appalling in her place of work and i assume the kids told theor parents about what she did to them and the parents contacted the administration too.. she shouldn't be working in this field with an attitude like that
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34. AITJ For Watch A Movie Without My Partner?

“I finally purchased a movie ticket for Everything Everywhere All At Once (very excited). I’ve been asking to see it with my partner for a long time now, but she keeps telling me she doesn’t like movies or crowds.

She doesn’t like to go out, but I do. If I want to do anything that involves going out, she invites herself and rarely ever has a good time.

Regarding tomorrow, I suggested going out with her roommates. One of her roommates broke up with her partner recently and it seemed like a nice gesture.

She seemed uninterested. She didn’t want to go out tomorrow. So, I said I’d probably do something by myself then. That’s when she started asking about us making joint plans that involve something that we and her roommates can go to.

I told her I’d look.

Flash forward to today. She asked what we were doing as a group. I had completely forgotten. I told her I hadn’t made any plans and that I hadn’t found anything interesting. She said that was fine. That she just wanted to stay in and do nothing.

As an alternative, I suggested that this was a great opportunity to see the movie. Our responses up until then had been back and forth. After that text, she didn’t respond for nearly two hours. I decided to just buy the ticket, as they were selling out.

Then she replies, very unenthusiastic: I’ll go with you.

I checked the site to see if there were any more available tickets, but there were not. I told her that and she said she wasn’t upset but started being very curt with me. I said that we have spent most of the week together and we’re spending three days on a short getaway together starting Sunday.

I just wanted to see this movie and it’d just be an evening apart. Plus, she didn’t even want to go out or see the movie anyway.

She said goodbye and hung up the phone very quickly. Since then, she’s been ignoring all communication from me and letting my call go to voicemail.

Am I a complete jerk?”

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rbleah 4 months ago
You need to find a grownup to date.
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33. AITJ For Refusing To Eat Cake?

“I have a very weird chocolate allergy. I still eat chocolate things, but only in high moderation as if I eat too much chocolate my body revolts against me and I have to spend the night in the hospital. We’ve found out that I get sick more whenever I eat chocolate cake and because of that, I’ve been avoiding chocolate cakes since we found out about this weird allergy.

Now that the context is there, the story:

Today is my stepsister’s son’s birthday (my nephew). I agreed to go, although she hates me, (Context for this is that I’m technically an ‘illegitimate child born out of wedlock’, and since she wasn’t born out of wedlock, she thinks she’s better than me.) I still love my lil nephew, as her hate for me isn’t going to bleed into our relationship together.

The boy fell asleep for the first couple of minutes (he’s 2) and most of it was just her glaring at me as he fell asleep in my arms before I gave him up to his dad. The room atmosphere was tense, and while we were eating my stepdad tried to make jokes to fill it, but failed. After a while of this, I left, not wanting to make anyone uncomfortable, sitting outside until the other partygoers came, playing me sitting outside off by trying to do homework.

When the birthday boy woke up, we gathered around the cake and sang Happy Birthday to him, before Stepsis helped him cut the cake.

When she opened it, I saw that it was chocolate, and while she was handing it out to her friends and my mom, stepdad, and two sisters, I politely denied the cake, stating that it looked delicious (it was a Cocomelon cake), but I was full from earlier.

She used this to go off on a mini rant that this is why I hated her, and that I’ve always hated her because she had stable parents growing up, and all I had was my mom since my dad ran off. I got rightly offended (at least I thought so) and left to sit outside until the party was over.

I thought I was in the right since I didn’t want to waste cake (If I got a piece, it’d be going straight in the trash) and I didn’t want to struggle through the awkwardness of standing around with a piece of cake for thirty minutes before I could hand it off to someone, so I thought just declining because I was full was the right thing.

When the party was over, my stepdad went off on a rant about how I’d disrespected his daughter (am I not his daughter as well?) And how I should have been more respectful and just took and ate the cake. My mom was on my side, and we both argued that I was just protecting myself from a trip to the hospital later, but my stepdad complained the entire ride to the store and we just decided to go back to the house.

My stepsisters also called me later and talked about how I was being a jerk, and I really didn’t understand.

I don’t understand what I did wrong, straight up. Am I a jerk for not accepting the cake? Did I do something wrong?”

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anma7 4 months ago
NTJ..... ask them if they have funds for your funeral put away.. when they ask why ask them if they were actually attending previous X hospital trips and or listened an heard what the Dr told you.. then leave it mom to sort HER hubby and HIS KID
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32. AITJ For Expecting An Apology From My Partner's Former Roommate?

“Last year, my partner (25 m) was living with two other guys (23 m and 19 m), and I (25 f) spent a good amount of time there with him.

I won’t go into detail but there were many things both 23m and 19m did that I found unacceptable but the final straw was when they took my car keys, moved my car, and abandoned it at a local dam until the police were called and I got a call from my father while my partner and I were 1000miles away visiting his family.

Upon arriving home and my partner confronting them, 23m (known for fits of rage) also decided to smash both of my expensive glass smoking rigs. Needless to say, my partner moved out and we’re having a fantastic time not living with psychopaths.

About a month or two ago, 23m contacted my partner and apparently gave a long heartfelt apology to him and said that he and 19m have both changed etc, etc. Goody for them.

My partner accepted the apology and has gone off-roading with 23m a few times like they used to do. I’ve stayed home.

Tonight we decided to go on some trails and I guess he messaged 23m asking if he wanted to join and he said yes.

I’m not causing a scene but definitely not happy about this at all.

My partner’s reasoning is that since HE got a nice long apology, I should be content with that and knowing that 23m is sorry. A couple of my friends agreed that since my partner was the one living with him then his apology was fine.

My best friend and I think that since it was my car, my rigs, and my intense panic attack while I was supposed to be on vacation, and I’m a separate human being, I deserve my own apology. My mother thinks I shouldn’t be giving the guy a chance to begin with.

I’ve been standing firm but starting to wonder if this is the right hill to die on. AITJ for expecting an apology before agreeing to be totally cordial?”

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anma7 4 months ago
NTJ.. your car your rigs you deserve an apology.... i wouldn't even speak to him end of
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31. AITJ For Not Giving My Coworker A Ride Home?

“On Thursday, I was leaving work and this guy I work with, ‘Jim,’ called my name and asked if I was leaving.

I said yeah. He asked if I’d give Lisa a ride home because she was having car trouble. Lisa was standing right there so it was kinda weird, like why couldn’t she ask herself? I asked where she lived. She was going in the complete opposite direction of where I live.

So I said no and went home.

This is a retail job and was 3-4 in the afternoon so it’s not like she was standing in the parking lot in the middle of the night. The store would be open another 8 hours. I didn’t think it was a big deal.

Well at work yesterday my coworker ‘Rob’ said ‘I heard Lisa asked you to give her a ride and you said no’. I said ‘Lisa didn’t even ask me, Jim did. But yea’. He said ‘Dude that’s mean’. I said ‘She was going in the complete opposite direction I was, and she barely even talks to me besides when she’s commenting on my purchases’.

He said ‘So what? She needed help. Would you have given a friend a ride if it was out of the way?’ I said yea. He said ‘See, you just didn’t want to help Lisa because you don’t like her… that’s a jerk move’.

It’s true that I don’t like Lisa, and I would have given a friend a ride to where she was going, but that’s because they’re a friend. By that same logic, why didn’t Lisa ask a friend?

In the past, I’ve felt like Lisa talked down to me because I’m younger than her.

She’s a cashier, and usually when I go on break she’s the only cashier that’s open so I have to go to her to checkout. I bring a sandwich to work and will buy chips or something else to eat with it on my first break, then on my second, I get a candy bar or something.

Lisa constantly makes comments about it ‘Junk food again’ ‘Don’t you ever eat anything healthy?’ ‘You should have an apple’ ‘Do your parents know you eat this much junk food at work?’ (I’m 22 so that made no sense). I eat plenty of healthy food when I’m not working, but that’s none of her business she’s not my dietitian.

Then a month or so ago I bought a new TV. I was talking to someone about it on break, and Lisa was in there and butted in ‘You won’t be able to spend like that when you’re an adult and you move out, you’ll have bills to pay’.

I don’t live at home and again, 22.

I just didn’t want to have to drive 15 minutes in the opposite direction for someone who never even talked to me besides talking to me like a 12-year-old.

AITJ?”

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anma7 4 months ago
NTJ... maybe shut her down when she comments the next time.. she obviously thinks your a live at home kid who's parents pay the hills.. your personal situation is n9ne of her business and why would you offer her a lift when she is so openly hostile on a regular basis
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30. AITJ For Not Wanting To Spend $500 For Accessories For My Cousin's Wedding?

“I eloped with my late husband (10/10 would recommend) because neither one of us wanted to be bothered with a big wedding.

I’ve only ever been to 2 weddings. One was my brother’s, I was 12. I just had to show up in my dress. The other was my best friend who picked a color and gave us bridesmaids a choice of like 6 dresses. Whatever one we wanted to buy, she was OK with.

So it’s been easy.

Now tho, my cousin is getting married to a great guy. She and I have always been close. So I was thrilled when she asked me to be her maid of honor in her ‘very low-key, simple wedding’,

I was there when she bought her very beautiful but simple wedding gown.

She picked very basic maid of honor and bridesmaid gowns. Everything is cost-efficient but very nice. She and her fiance are both just starting their respective careers and are paying for 90% of the wedding themselves. Everyone has gotten along and no complaints. Until this past weekend

She had originally said she didn’t care too much about shoes and jewelry as long as they didn’t clash with our dresses obviously and didn’t want us in black shoes. But on Saturday night she sent out a group text saying that she changed her mind and we all needed to buy a specific matching necklace and jewelry set and a pair of shoes she saw and loved. I’m thinking

Sure, no problem. Until she sent the links.

The shoes are Louboutin are $795. Don’t get me wrong, they’re cute but I 100% will never wear them again. Her colors are pastel and it’s not my thing. The jewelry is a tennis bracelet and necklace from Swarovski and are over $500 together.

I didn’t say anything because I was processing but another cousin asked if this was a joke and the bride’s sisters both said ‘You can’t be serious’. But the bride is serious. Very serious.

The other 2 bridesmaids flat-out said they couldn’t afford it. I was asked about my feelings and I said it was a lot of money for things I would most likely never wear again.

Now the bride isn’t speaking to any of us because she feels since she was so easygoing originally we should give in to her for this.

I don’t know how I feel. Can I afford it? Yes. Do I want to? No. If it was something I could use after the wedding, I might be more inclined to but I’m not a jewelry person, and like I said pastel isn’t my thing.

I know for a fact that at least 2 of the bridesmaids absolutely cannot afford it. I think the bride is being a tad demanding sort of last minute. The wedding is in July. Not a lot of time to save if others even wanted to.

One of the bride’s sisters said she sees me as the voice of reason and they want me to try to talk her out of this or a few of them are going to drop out. I’m going to try but I want opinions. Is she being unreasonable or are all of us jerks for not wanting to do it?”

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rbleah 4 months ago
Somebody needs to tell the BRIDEZILLA that unless she gets her head out of her behind she WILL LOSE HER ENTIRE SIDE OF THE WEDDING PARTY. And even if you CAN afford to buy this crap HELLLOOOO THAT BRAND OF SHOE IS BEYOND WHAT IS NEEDED. As for the jewelry NO, JUST NO. Throw this back at her that if she DEMANDS these things then SHE MUST PAY FOR THEM.
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29. AITJ For Calling My Teacher An Idiot?

“I’m a 16-year-old female-to-male guy with a temper, and I’ve had a lot of bad experiences in life. I’ve been mistreated, betrayed, gaslit by family, and mainly, (this happened when I was 10-11) homeless for 2-3 weeks because of ‘rent complications’.

I am not saying know what it’s fully like to be on the streets because I do not, my time was brief, but I was living in a car with my sister, brother, mom, her partner, and 3 dogs. It was not fun. The sleeping situation was not fun.

Everyone hated it and Mom couldn’t find a job. at all. Thankfully a family member let us crash at their place for a couple of months. The point is, that brief experience made me realize how bad it must be for everyone else homeless in the world right now and it opened my eyes to this super big issue.

I wouldn’t want my worst enemy to be homeless on the street. Anyways, onto the story.

It was the end of my English class and somehow the topic got to homelessness. My teacher (white, 40 f) said ‘Homeless people are choosing to be that way because of their mental illnesses.’ I blew up and got super upset because it brought up painful memories of that time we were without a home, because OBVIOUSLY I, as a 10-year-old, didn’t choose to be homeless.

Especially because of my mental illness. I called her out on it and called her an idiot for saying that. I also said it sounded like white privilege. It seriously bothered me that she said something so idiotically stupid because I would love to meet a homeless person who ‘chose’ to be homeless.

I know there are exceptions but this was ridiculous.

I went down to my guidance counselor and we talked for a while. He said was justified in my anger and reaction, just not the language I used. I agreed with that, called my foster dad and he said the same thing, saying it was really ignorant of my teacher to say that.

When I hung up and asked to use the bathroom to write this story, ran into the teacher’s assistant who was in the same room. I told her I was sorry for saying the bad language, but not for my message and she said I shouldn’t have said anything.

I told her about my brief experience with homelessness and she still said should have just been quiet because it wasn’t an okay thing to say. But the thing is, I think I was justified in telling my teacher she was wrong for that.

I understand and recognize shouldn’t have used the language I did, and I can’t speak for everyone who’s homeless because my experience was so short.

But I know homelessness is not a choice, it was HORRIBLE for 10-year-old me, and the fact that she said something so ignorant and disrespectful to so many people in America and the world made me super duper mad, I couldn’t stand it at all!

So I’m turning to the internet for advice. AITJ?”

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anma7 4 months ago
NTJ.. get foster dad in on this with you please younare right the teacher is a privileged idiot
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28. AITJ For Not Helping Out My Brother's Sick Wife?

“My cousin James (37 m) has a wife Sarah (35 m) who is sick with cancer and she recently suffered a stroke too.

James’s mom, AKA my aunt Joannah (65 f), is bedridden. Joannah is my mom’s SIL as she was married to my mom’s brother. My mom’s brother has passed away for over 15 years.

Due to some past conflict caused by Joannah and her son James, my entire family has cast Joannah and James aside because they did and said horrible things about our family, including minor kids, and caused many issues both personal and financial.

Later on, when James met his wife, my aunt Joannah made Sarah’s life miserable and James had no contact with her. We kept some typical contact with Joannah and James but nothing too serious. None of us are truly close to James, his wife, or my aunt.

But ever since my aunt had a stroke and has been bedridden since last year my mom and James have made an agreement about how my mom will at least try to cook and provide meals for my aunt as long as James takes care of everything else since it’s his mom after all and not completely our obligation.

At first, that arrangement worked well but then James tried to take advantage of my mom and my family financially and tried to get us to provide for Joannah more financially even though we were unable to, and to be honest, we weren’t obligated. My mom put him in his place multiple times about how he shouldn’t take our help for granted.

A couple of months ago Sarah’s cancer took a toll and has spread throughout her entire body and has only a few months to live. My wedding is in one month and James dropped the bomb that he refuses to financially provide for his mom anymore and all responsibility is on us and if we don’t help out he’ll blast us about how we care more over my fancy princess wedding over helping out our family in need and how it’s absurd how instead of canceling all the fancy venues and all to save money and help him pay for his wife’s treatments and my aunt’s finances, we prioritize my wedding.

Once again I say, I’m not close to any of these people. My mom only agreed to help out Joannah as long as James helped too. Now James blames us for not 100% helping out his mom and for not financing him and his wife on top of all that and trashed my wedding planning as he did trash my fiancé and my in-laws who haven’t even met him.

I told him I’m sorry about what he and his family are going through but I’m under no obligation to put my life on pause to be Joannah’s caretaker and Sarah’s financial provider and neither is my mom or dad. He called me a stoned heart jerk for it and said I’m a materialistic jerk because I don’t make sacrifices for family.

AITJ?”

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anma7 4 months ago
NTJ.. you need to get hold of a lawyer and send him a cease an desist and then call adult services and have them take over care of his mother.. thencutthe lot of them off permanently this time
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27. WIBTJ If I Cut Our Internet?

“I (21 F) live with one roommate (21 M) and 4 cats. We live in the basement of a house with rent being $1700 a month. When we first moved, my roommate was not able to go 50/50 on rent and our agreement was he would do most of the housework and I would cover groceries and more of the rent ($650-$1050).

I also pay for the internet (~$50 a month). He wouldn’t pick up around the house and left everything for me when he was working max 15 hours a week.

Four months later, he has a full-time position (30-40h/week) and I’m in school again (full-time uni) while still working part-time (~20h).

I have asked him a couple of times now to switch to 50/50 on rent now that he is getting more money than me, as well as to help with groceries. To me, it only seems fair since I paid for groceries through the summer. It wouldn’t be permanent, just until I can get my savings back up and be able to afford it.

Now, not only is he refusing to pay more rent to make it 50/50, but he is buying groceries for himself and refusing to share. He stocks the freezer will all his stuff, leaving no room for me. I still have to do all the housework (dishes, collecting garbage, cleaning the kitchen, living room, bathroom, etc) without any help.

I have tried countless times asking him for help, and just get yelled at and backlash. I’ve tried talking to him, reminding him on pay days, and leaving him notes and texts, but nothing works. Even suggesting a closer yet smaller to even split like $750-$950 or $800-$900.

People in my life are suggesting cutting him off from the internet in hopes that I can get some sort of response. Even if to make an agreement with the rent in exchange for the internet. I am tempted to but also worried about the backlash he would give me for doing so.

Would I be the jerk for cutting the internet access?”

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anma7 4 months ago
NTJ... cut him offnthe off the internet.. is the lease in both names ? Maybe go see the landlord explain the issues and arrange to pay YOUR HALF only directly to them and ask THEM to deal with roommate.. while your doing that lokk for somewhere else to love cos he's mooching and you know it
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26. AITJ For Being Angry At My Stepdad For Taking Out His Anger On Me And My Mom?

“My stepdad has this thing that twice a year around the start of fall and spring he will get really irritated about everything.

You don’t open the door in time because you’re trying to manage a hyper Saint Bernard, some type of German schnauzer, and a tiny chihuahua with no sense of personal space, he gets mad and lectures you.

Send a quick one-word text about your day because you have stuff to do. He gets mad and berates you for not saying more. Stupid stuff like that.

I unfortunately got used to walking on eggshells around him during this time but it all came to a head last night.

I had just gotten home from a 12-hour shift at the hospital’s kitchen. I was hot, sweaty, felt like crap because I barely slept the night before. Plus my mom’s dog was sick so I had to check on her as soon as I got home, then take care of the other dogs.

What I didn’t know is that in my tiredness I completely missed a fan standing up drying one of the carpets that our Saint Bernard peed on.

I took care of the dogs, showered, got dressed for bed, ate something, and had a beer (I’m 21).

What I didn’t know is the dogs had gotten the zoomies while I was getting dressed and knocked over the fan I didn’t notice it because my room is soundproof and on the far far side of the house. I stayed in my room the rest of the time watching my mom’s dog our Saint Bernard.

So when they got home guess what my stepdad noticed, yep the knocked-over fan. He was mad. He called me out to the living room asking me if we ever had the fan facing down.

Now one thing about me, I cry very easily. Sad movie tears come out, happy tears are dropping, angry then I’m mad with tears barely hanging on.

I hate it but for some reason, my eyes just start getting misty and I can’t stop it.

So he got madder because he thought tears were weak. He never lets himself cry so why should his stepdaughter cry? My mom tried to stop him but he decided to make this a sit-down family conversation, in other words, he wanted to make me feel worse so he could prove a point.

Finally, I was just done with it. I told him flatly, still crying but just emotionally done with him.

‘You do realize we are not some emotional outlets for you to take your anger out. You do this every year twice a year. We’ve tried everything from therapy to medicine and nothing is working for you.

I had to listen to my mom cry after you’re done taking your emotions out on her. We are NOT emotional dolls for you. Figured out what’s wrong with you by yourself because I’m tired of feeling like I’m in a house of eggshells every time you’re upset.’

He understandably got upset but I still stand by what I said but my mom said that though I was right my tone and words were too harsh. AITJ?

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anma7 4 months ago
NTJ.... mom needs to realise that this isn't normal and she deserves better
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25. AITJ For Demanding My Partner's Sister's Significant Other To Pay For My Car?

“I (27 m) gave my partner’s sister’s on-and-off significant other, whom I personally barely know, my old car.

The car could’ve sold for about 1.4k and had some issues some minor and some potentially major. It runs and drives fine and everything works with great gas mileage.

My partner’s sister’s SO whom she has a kid with really needed a vehicle because he (my partner’s sister’s SO) had a motorcycle and she needed an actual car to transport their kid.

Since I just got a new car I decided to do him and them a favor and said I’d sell him the car at a reduced cost. I wanted it out of the way and out of my name. He had 150 cash for it and the rest of the money was used for getting it on the road legally.

His SO (my partner’s sister) vouched for him and said he’d have the money soon and would definitely pay me and it would really help her, and him as well.

I decided to sell it for ONLY 500 cause I wanted it gone with no hassle (yeah right) and that was a great price for my car honestly.

So I gave it to him with a verbal deal that he and his SO and my partner witnessed that he would pay me the remainder.

No payment after a month so I called him. We ended up arguing and he said ‘That’s your fault you didn’t sign an agreement’ like a thieving punk.

Now I KNOW it was dumb of me to not have a signed agreement, but that just seems like he was planning on taking the car when he said something like that.

So fast forward to now and I see him driving it and parking it at their house and I’m mad.

I told my partner I’m gunna take him to small claims and I have texts and witnesses as proof. She said that’s petty over such a small amount and that will make ME ‘look like a jerk’.

So aside from stupidly giving it to him without an agreement, AITJ in any of this or for wanting to sue?

EDIT- In the end, he gave me 150 at the DMV and said he’d pay me back the rest verbally. (later he admitted in texts that he still owes me)”

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anma7 4 months ago
ESH.. you for not getting it written down and signed him for being an jerk your partner for siding with him in effect.. maybe write this off as down to experience and if they need help again SAY NO n mean it
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24. AITJ For Calling My Significant Other Entitled?

“Growing up my (22 F) significant other (23) was the only child of his wealthy parents and first grandchild/nephew of his very wealthy family, this is relevant to the story because his entire life everything has been handed to him without him barely even lifting a finger.

He is a sweet and loving guy, but sometimes does not know how the world truly works and his entitlement starts to peak. Since he was 14 years old, his parents have brought/given him a new car every 2 years or so. His recent car was a 2020 Toyota Corolla, again he had his parents switch it from his 2018/2019 car just because he wanted to.

However, two days ago we were in a car accident (nothing serious, no one was injured, the car was just severely damaged). The shop told us it would take a couple of days to fix the damages, and this is where things started to go south, he basically demanded that his car be done the same day and it was completely embarrassing and I felt so bad for the mechanic that I apologized on my SO’s behalf.

When it finally settled with him that there was no way that car was going to be fixed the same day, he went asking his parents for a ‘replacement car’ (I had offered to have us get around in my car, but according to him, my 2015 Chevy Malibu is too old).

Because his parents do not live in the same city as us, the best they could do was ask a good friend of theirs to allow my SO to borrow one of their cars.

When my SO saw that the car was a 2005 Honda Civic, he immediately became the most childish person I have ever met.

He threw a tantrum about the car, and it was just outright ridiculous. At this point I was over him being like that, so I said, ‘You are 23, a grown man, I really think it’s time for you to grow out of your entitlement and appreciate what has been given to you’.

Admittedly the way that I said it was very harsh, and I apologized almost immediately after realizing the tone that was taken. I grew up the eldest daughter of 5 from two immigrant parents. I know what it’s like to not have anything and have to work yourself up to having everything you’ve dreamed of, and the fact that he was throwing a tantrum over him not getting the ‘replacement car he wanted’ was just insane to me.

He got upset with me and told me that there was no reason for me to say those things to him and currently I am getting the cold shoulder. Was I the jerk for saying that he is entitled?”

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rbleah 4 months ago
SAVE YOURSELF AND GET OUT NOW. He will not grow up any time soon and being with a man/child will drive you nuts.
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23. AITJ For Being Embarrassed Of My Mom?

“I (26 M) finally introduced my mother (52 F) to the rest of my fiance’s family yesterday. I had anxiety because while mom is a social butterfly, she has had limited interaction with lots of people in person since her job went remote.

And made it clear she didn’t want to be there long.

During the event, she did 3 things that bothered me. First, she tried to serve me my own food when I kept saying I could serve myself. Second unrelated (but was a big issue to my fiance and me): when the family tried to get her to sit in a chair with them she came off extremely rude by saying ‘That man is sitting there!’ despite telling us it was okay and refusing for us to get a chair from a kitchen.

We peer pressured her. She later told me she didn’t know his name but felt like the manner was rude. Third, when I was dancing with my fiance’s mom, my mother kept saying, ‘You’re doing great baby’ at least 2 times.

The constant pampering has been bothering me most of my adult life, but now that I’m engaged and have someone else I can rely on, it has led to my breaking point.

I told her privately in the car on the way home that I would like her to stop showing public affection the way she does and she said ‘Don’t worry you’ll never get affection from me ever again.’ And in the process says she was taught as a woman that it’s a woman’s job to take care of her man, and when my fiance doesn’t she (my mom) wants to step in and help.

I feel bad that I hurt her feelings, but I felt like it needed to be done. And don’t agree with her views on a woman having to always take care of her man. And I’m mad with how she embarrassed herself by calling my future father-in-law ‘That man,’ but I’ll let it pass and not bring it up.

She’ll probably never meet them again until the wedding.

But I’m sharing this because after talking to a close friend, they said what she was doing wasn’t that bad, and that it’s probably because I’m her only son. So now I want to know if I’m in the wrong.

So AITJ?

Edit on the chair seat: So basically, my future father-in-law was sitting in a recliner before he got up to go help with family babies. They were telling her to take his seat, and she repeatedly kept saying, ‘That man is sitting there’ until we tried to get a foldable chair.

To which she refused to at first until we peer pressured her.”

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Ishouldntbehere2 4 months ago
NJH. She came, she tried, she didn't do anything malicious or evil or even that embarrassing. She is just a social anxious person who cares about her son, with a few old fashioned views that hopefully will go away the more time she spends with your new family. You had no reason to have a go at her, but you have every right to calmly and graciously explain that some of the things she does bother you. It'll get better, but try to see things from he point of view in the meantime. Her only son is getting married and starting a new family! She works from home, doesn't sound like she has a partner or any other support networks living with her. She is trying her best, but she is isolated and socially anxious. Now you've told her she's not allowed to dote on you anymore and she feels like the one thing she knew how to do right is being taken away from her. Maybe slight YTJ, but mostly NJH
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22. AITJ For Not Giving My Phone To My Flatmate?

“So I’m (20, nb) at uni and this year I’m living with a couple of friends, one of whom (m, 21) I’ve known for a year now and am good friends with, let’s call him Matt.

Matt suggested we watch Daredevil as I’ve never seen it and it’s one of his favourite shows so he was excited to rewatch.

The first time we started watching it, he took my phone and put it on the other side of the room to make sure I was paying attention to the program, I thought this was a little weird but figured I should properly focus on the show as it was only the first episode so there are lots of new characters to learn.

Usually, when I watch shows I also go on my phone as I find it hard to concentrate on only one thing at once. I do this with pretty much everything I watch and I never miss any dialogue or plot points. I’m usually just playing a repetitive game like solitaire to keep my fingers moving.

Today we sat down to carry on with the show and he once again confiscated my phone, this time taking it out of my hands. I didn’t say anything but it did annoy me.

Halfway through an episode, his mum called so he left and I paused the show and grabbed my phone.

When he got back 10 minutes later he immediately put his hand out like a parent, asking for my phone. I said no, I can concentrate on the show and the phone at the same time. He said he wouldn’t put the show back on if I didn’t give it to him and I reminded him I’m a grown adult who can choose what to do with my own phone.

He then sat down and reiterated he wouldn’t put the show back on.

I didn’t mind too much and went on Twitter whilst he sat and stared at the wall.

10 minutes later he said he was going to bed and sounded quite annoyed. I understand him wanting to share a show with me but I don’t want to be treated like a child by someone who’s only a year older than me, I wouldn’t have minded so much if he’d just asked nicely that I don’t go on my phone.”

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anma7 4 months ago
NTJ.. you need to start standing your ground more... he's treating you like a child for gods sake i assume you both pay rent etc.. tell him he's not your parent an if he's going to be so annoying then you won't be watching anything aoth him again
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21. AITJ For Demanding My Grandma And My Fiancée To Apologize To My Mom?

“My grandmother is a pretty awful person. She was a trashy mom to my mother growing up, she is competitive with every woman in her life (including my mom and my fiancée), and she likes to play dumb and act like she didn’t mean to stir the pot.

My fiancée is great, but we are currently planning a wedding and she is definitely on edge. She also has issues with my mom. My mom doesn’t approve of her, and as a result, I’ve gone into low contact with my mom, but there is still tension and resentment from how she acted towards my fiancée.

Recently my grandmother asked my fiancée to help her do something on her phone. She said she didn’t know how to send pictures, so she opened up her pictures on her phone and just happened to open a picture of my mom in a floor-length white gown.

Based on their bad history, my fiancée jumped to assumptions.

She called my mom up and ripped her a new one. She admits she said some nasty stuff. When she was done my mom told her that was her wedding dress from her wedding the previous weekend, and she had no intention of wearing it to our wedding.

We checked with a few people and her story holds. She did have a wedding last weekend, and she did ask people not to mention it to me. My fiancée told me she was humiliated. My grandmother swore it was all a big misunderstanding.

I said that I didn’t believe my grandmother, and while it was a misunderstanding on my fiancée’s part, she still owes my mom an apology. They both began to explain their side. My grandmother said she is bad with her phone. My fiancée said that it is a common thing MILs do and wedding planning is stressful.

I said I really didn’t want to hear excuses and I think they both owe my mom an apology.

Needless to say, they are both unhappy with me. My grandmother accused me of being paranoid, and my fiancée said there was no way she was apologizing to my mom, and it was my mom’s fault that she even thought that.

My mom is now refusing to come to our wedding.”

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rbleah 4 months ago
WHY ARE YOU MARRYING THIS WITCH? And why are you still in contact with miserable grandma? You need to have a come to Jesus talk with your fiance and resolve some issues. And cut grandma out. Or at least go LOW CONTACT.
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20. AITJ For Commenting On My Friend's Husband's Photo On Social Media?

“I (26 f) met this girl Ashley online a few months ago and she said she was looking for friends. We hung out a few times and got along really well. She told me she was married and bi and I told her I’m bi as well.

I honestly thought we were pretty good friends and I really liked her. Last weekend she invited me over to meet her husband and hang out and I did. The vibes were super off and he kept saying how pretty I am. When I asked her privately about this because it was super weird to me she confided that he thinks it’s hot she’s bi and she told him I am too and they thought maybe if we met ‘something could happen’ I was so grossed out that I left immediately.

I blocked her number, but yesterday she reached out to me on Messenger to apologize and said she never wanted me to feel pressured and it wasn’t her intention she just wondered if the vibes were right or would make him happy. I never use social media, so she had to actually search me up to find me because we weren’t friends.

I admit I’m petty but I went on her profile, found his profile, and commented under his photo ‘ugly’. Because he is both inside and out. She ended up blocking me after sending me nasty messages.

I admit it’s petty, but I also didn’t think it was ‘end of the world’ petty.

My friends however think I’m overreacting and what I did was unnecessary and I should’ve handled it like an adult and not lost a friendship out of it.

Am I really that much of a jerk here? Or was it just a little moment of justified pettiness because of the situation they put me in?”

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rbleah 4 months ago
Why would YOU be the jerk when she was SETTING YOU UP to satisfy HER SICKO HUBS?
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19. AITJ For Calling Out My Husband's Sister-In-Law For Wearing A Silver Dress To My Sister's Wedding?

“Megan is my sister’s husband’s sister-in-law. She seems like she always wants to compete with my sister (but that gets into a whole other topic).

So before my sister’s wedding we were talking and having fun when one of the girls said, ‘Watch Megan try to show up in a white dress to the wedding.

If she did I would kick her out right away’ and we all just laughed it off thinking that she would never do that.

Well, come the day of the wedding, the bride and bridesmaids are outside taking pictures when I see Megan walk out of the reception hall with this SILVER gown.

All the bridesmaids were so mad about it including my sister, but my sister is the kind of girl who doesn’t want to cause conflict. No bridesmaid or the maid of honor said anything to Megan about her dress.

So at the end of the night, so I didn’t cause a scene, she was leaving and I gave her a hug and smile and said in A CALM VOICE ‘Hey I’m a little irritated that you wore a silver dress to my sister’s wedding.

You don’t want to try to outshine the bride or anything by wearing white or silver or even gold. It’s kind of a very loud-spoken rule.’ And I don’t like confrontation so I just walked away and didn’t let her respond. And as I walked away she gave me a dirty face behind my back and then tattled on me to her husband and said ‘Did you just hear how (my name) blew up on me?’

Megan started telling everyone how I ‘blew up’ on her when I normally don’t talk loud anyway, much less blow up on someone for a dress. Everyone told me that it just creates drama and I shouldn’t have said anything at all cuz I just divided the family.

But AITJ for telling her that it was wrong to wear that dress?”

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LizzieTX 3 months ago
Not the jerk at all. You didn't cause drama - you told Megan that you didn't miss her slight to your sister, and neither did anyone else. That's not "blowing up"; that's giving a warning that she'd better not pull this crap again or the next time, it WILL be a blow up. You handled the situation perfectly.
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18. AITJ For Not Wanting My Brother And His Partner To Live With Me Anymore?

“My 26-year-old brother was arrested and as part of his bail conditions, he was told he could not return home, to our parents’ address where he lives.

I have a one-bedroom flat and live alone, I was asked if he could come and stay with me, I believe, for a couple of days. The situation was not properly explained to me, so I wasn’t really aware of what I was signing up for.

All I agreed to, is having my brother so he wasn’t detained.

All of a sudden, it’s becoming clear that actually, it’s a month minimum, and I’m not just expected to put him up, but also his partner who I don’t even know.

They stay up all night (burning up my electricity bill) and sleep in my living room until around lunchtime every day, meaning I can’t really get in there to do anything. Neither of them works. They’ve taken over my home, I don’t even get to watch my own TV anymore & I’m basically confined to my bedroom 24/7.

I never agreed to put up his partner with him either, I have depression & anxiety and I don’t even know this woman living in my house. I feel uncomfortable when it comes to disagreements etc. I’ve expressed all of these things and yet nothing has changed. My opinion appears to not matter in my own home anymore.

My tenancy actually also states I can only have a maximum of two people ‘living’ here, so technically I can’t have her anyway, but I’m just not being listened to.

I agreed to let him stay to prevent him being detained, that was what I agreed to.

I’m in a new relationship & because it’s so new, obviously it’s not appropriate to introduce family, etc yet, so I can’t even have my own partner here, yet I’m forced into having my brother’s partner stay here, which feels unfair.

We’re trying to work it out so he also stays elsewhere a few days a week. But I told him I only wanted his partner to stay two days a week, which just isn’t being respected.

I’m struggling to go from a one-person to a three-person household overnight.

Especially with the rise in bills etc at the moment & it’s just mentally draining as well.

Now we’ve been told his bail will be extended. Meaning another month, I can’t do it. I physically can’t take the stress off them anymore, I want them to find alternative arrangements for the following month, keeping in mind, that his solicitor has advised that this could be ongoing for up to a year, just being extended one month at a time.

AITJ for expecting him to find somewhere else for him and his partner to stay now this is looking more long-term? My family is making me feel I am.”

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rbleah 4 months ago
NOT THE JERK. I think they LIED TO YOU just to get in the door. You expected JUST YOUR BROTHER, NOT his horizontal tango partner. Tell them GET OUT, YOU HAVE TWO WEEKS TO USE/ABUSE somebody else. THEN STICK WITH IT. GET YOUR PLACE BACK CAUSE THEY WON'T STOP.
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17. AITJ For Taking My Dog To The Vet?

“My dog is a 12-year-old Pit mix (not sure what he’s mixed with as the shelter was unable to figure it out).

I am currently living in a house with a few roommates, away from home (moving back soon as I’m moving across the country to transfer schools for a better scholarship).

But said dog is co-owned between my dad and I, and I go home every weekend for the past 3 years to be with our dog.

Recently it’s come to our attention that he was having a harder time than usual holding his bladder and walking.

When my dad told me, I offered to take him to the vet (all on my dime of course, I don’t expect my dad to pay for it if he’s not the one taking him, as like I said we co-own our dog).

However, he said no. He doesn’t think my dog needs to go at all and that it’ll just go away.

My mom agrees with him, but only because she ‘doesn’t want to deal with him complaining about the bill’. When I told him I would pay for it, he still refused to let me get him checked out.

So, since he is also my dog on ALL of the vet papers and his chip, I went by my parents’ house, picked him up, and took him.

Now, I am by no means well-off. I’ve been saving for a PS5 and a tattoo, so I just took that money to pay for his vet bill instead. I was glad I did as they said it was, luckily, an easy fix (just needed to switch his diet to a different brand and some antibiotics for the slightly inflamed bladder).

When I got him back home, my dad blew up at me and said what I did was wrong and now he’d have to pay for it. (I pay for our dog’s food, sending my dad the money when I couldn’t grab it myself and I’m paying for his antibiotics as well.) when I told him what was wrong, he said it didn’t matter because he was old anyway so just let him die.

I’m currently bringing my dog to my house (all after making sure with my roommates of course, I will be cleaning any mess he makes and am able to care for him and get his food) and will make sure he gets his antibiotics until he’s doing better.

Since I’m moving back home in a few months, he’ll be coming back with me then.

AITJ for taking my dog to the vet after my parents said it wasn’t necessary?”

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rbleah 4 months ago
Tell dad just because he DOES NOT GIVE AN EFF ABOUT THE DOG that YOU DO care for the dog. And he is not old and dying, just needed meds to deal with an issue. Fixed with meds and diet.
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16. AITJ For Not Letting My Husband Spend Anything Out Of Out Budget?

“I (29 F) have been with my husband (33 M) for 8 years now. He is a wonderful husband and father to our 2 kids.

I have always budgeted/paid each bill for us since he can never remember the bills or due dates and never even asks. I swear if I die he’s lost on everything. So, I am always the one doing the budgeting each week, since my husband is paid weekly and different bills come out each week.

My husband works very hard for us and I used to work too, however, due to a car accident while pregnant with our son last year I now have a serious back injury leaving me to be unable to work. He always travels for work and gets $50 PD for each day he spends out of town.

So every month he makes roughly $1,200 extra cash because he always saves his PD since he packs his food so he doesn’t have to spend the money while he’s away. I have NEVER asked for his PD for myself or even thought to ask him for it.

That money is his to have/spend and should be so. He does bodybuilding and spends his PD on that.

With that being said, my husband gets super frustrated and angry when he can’t spend money how he wants to from our account money NOT the PD money he keeps in his pocket.

I have ordered things for myself that I have needed since having a new baby. Like pump, pumping parts, baby clothes, nursing clothes, etc, etc. Our daughter has also needed new things due to a growth spurt so I have gotten things for her as well.

I am able to do these things IF I budget appropriately. A lot of times I will Sezzle or Klarna stuff to budget it out better. But my husband on numerous occasions will want to spend money from the account which will wreck the budget.

For example, I do all the grocery shopping and I buy everything he says he needs for his trips out of town and I budget specifically for that amount. So everything that’s needed is bought and should be packed up. However, every time he leaves he always says he needs more stuff.

So he wants to use the account to buy more things.

I get very frustrated with this and explain to him each time how I already budgeted for the week and it will hurt the budget if he does more. He then proceeds to get angry and tell me he can never buy anything for himself but I can always order things for myself and the kids.

(Side note: I haven’t bought myself new clothes or shoes etc since last year I never feel I deserve things so I don’t buy myself things). I told him again that it’s because I already did the budget but he still gets angry at me.

I finally told him why don’t you use your PD then because that only seems fair since I’ve already done budgeting. But this only made him more angry. I hate that I upset him and I’m extremely grateful for all he does for our family but I feel he should respect that I budget everything out.

AITJ?”

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anma7 4 months ago
NTj.. maybe pri t it all out in black and white for him... then show him how much more money HE HAS TO HIMSELF from his PD that you don't utilise FOR THE FAMILY
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15. AITJ For Expressing My Concerns About My Partner's Relationship With His Mom?

“I’ve been with my partner for almost a year now. I started going out with him because he’s kind of brooding and dark and I was attracted to that, but soon I found out that he was actually very (physically) affectionate, which was also great!

He cares deeply about people and overall is a great guy, we rarely fight at all. There is one single thing that bothers me, and that is his relationship with his mother.

Due to the state of the world and the fact that we live fairly far away from his parents (we don’t live together, just in the same city), I’ve never met them in person.

He talks about them a lot, and it’s always good things. He is really close with them despite a few roadblocks a while back and calls them basically weekly to check up on them and catch them up on his life. We recently had some time off school, so we went to stay at his parents’ house for a few days.

We get there, and he immediately hugs both of his parents and kisses his mother on the forehead, pretty normal, but in context later, it stood out to me. We all eat dinner together and he and his family talk a lot, he seems happy to be home and all is well.

We go to sleep in his childhood bedroom in the basement, and when I wake up, a little later than usual, he’s not there.

I go upstairs and he and his mom are on the couch together, he’s lying with his head in her lap as she strokes his hair and they watch TV together.

It felt weirdly intimate but I didn’t say anything, just greeted them both, and he acted like nothing was weird about it.

Then later, we went to a museum with his parents. He kept hugging his mother and basically alternating between holding her hand and mine.

And when I say kept hugging her I mean like, at random intervals, he would just go up to her and hug her and say that he’s missed her… it’s only been like 6 months since he’s seen her last. I have a fairly good relationship with my parents too but this was starting to get really weird.

He’s a grown man and he’s doing all of this with his mother.

After that trip, I pulled him aside and voiced some of my concerns. I don’t remember exactly what I said but I mentioned him cuddling with her and said that I thought it was kind of inappropriate since he’s 20 years old.

And that holding her hand in public and being affectionate towards her like that might give people the wrong idea and honestly just made me uncomfortable. I was expecting him to argue with me or something but instead, he just got all teary-eyed and asked me if I really thought it was that weird, and then apologized to me.

He said he didn’t think he could stop being affectionate with his mother because she is one of the most important people in his life (which, honestly feels like another red flag) and that ‘you never know when you might lose someone’… and then he started full on crying.

I know for an absolute fact that he has never lost someone close to him, so I don’t know why he said that here. I reiterated my position and asked him to just dial it back.

I’m like 90% sure I was in the right to express my discomfort with his relationship with his mother, but the fact that he cried makes me feel like a huge jerk.

So, I leave it to you all, AITJ?”

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anma7 4 months ago
NTJ... this is definitely not normal behaviour and you know it... its as if he's in a relationship with his mother for gods sake... your not the jerk and his reaction to your request is bizarre to say the least
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14. AITJ For Asking My Brother Not To Wear A Dress To My Wedding?

“He (37 M) has been hinting at it for months but we all thought it was a joke and that he would back off – or at least directly ask ‘Are you comfortable if I wear a dress at your wedding’ if he was really serious.

I (35 F) am the youngest, and only girl, and well… our family has a lot of issues.

My brother is poly, and to my knowledge identifies as he/him. He is in the arts and has plenty of opportunity to wear a dress out in the world, if he so chose, and express himself: but we have never seen him in one, outside of a dance performance.

He wears pants and cleans up nicely in a collared shirt.

He has apparently worn dresses before but claims to wear pants as default, for utility, and doesn’t buy clothes often.

To me (and my fiancée), it seems like he is trying to rock the boat and pull attention to himself.

He definitely relishes being non-conforming and pushing boundaries, but it’s not like wearing a dress is part of his ‘normal’ routine. When our families first met over Zoom, after our engagement, he bared himself (still PG13) behind my Dad and tried to make it a ‘performance’… and then complained that dad didn’t ‘appreciate his creativity’.

My brothers just don’t seem to understand that this is OUR day.

We fully support whatever he wants to be out in the world, but this seems like too much of a coincidence with timing.

If Bro was the kind of guy who wore dresses around, fine… but this almost seems like he’s intentionally trying to steal the show… or make some kind of statement or announcement about himself.

Sure, there will be women who will wear pants, and we are sensitive to not discriminating or being the folks who force gender stereotypes on kids… but seriously?

I told him we had no issue with him wearing a dress at the rehearsal dinner. Am I the jerk for insisting that he not wear a dress?”

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anma7 4 months ago
NTJ... he's doing it for attention ON YOUR DAY.... tell him if he's in a dress HE WILL NOT GET IN PERIOD... having him escorted out will give him the attention he wants whereas having him stopped from entering to start with takes away the attention
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13. AITJ For Refusing To Drive My Sister Home From The Restaurant?

“My sister (21 f) (we’ll call her T) and I (17 f) go out to lunch to keep in touch since she’s in college. Ever since she’s turned 21 she’s been telling me not to bother driving to the restaurant, and instead drive to her house and she’ll take us to lunch.

The problem is, every time without fail she orders some form of drink and I’m forced to drive her home.

On top of it, sometimes she demands gas money when I’m driving half the time.

Usually, I wouldn’t mind but this has happened every time we go, and sometimes she drinks a little TOO much and I’m forced to babysit her when we get back to her house.

It’s seriously beginning to get on my nerves. Last week I told T I was going to drive myself to the restaurant. T got upset and tried to get me to change my mind but I refused saying I had to go somewhere after (which was a lie).

She eventually dropped it and I thought that was that.

But I got there on time and she was already there. And drinking.

I reminded her we had driven separately and T said she forgot, saying she’d already ordered it and asked if I could drive her ‘just this once’.

I said I had something to do after (still a lie) and she said I could drive her home quickly. I told her I wasn’t leaving my car in the parking lot.

She apologized like she always does, and said she couldn’t drive now because she was already on her second drink.

I wanted to yell at her so badly at that moment. There was no way she had ‘forgotten’ that she’d driven herself. And she’s never shown up anywhere on time in her life. She clearly showed up early so she could begin drinking and I wouldn’t be able to stop her.

But I kept my calm and asked her to give me her keys. She happily hands them over. So I said I was going to the bathroom but instead, I went to the host and gave her my sister’s keys saying she was wasted and could not drive.

I pointed my sister out to her and told the host not to give the keys to her if she was alone (just in case my sister tried driving herself).

I knew she had her phone and had a bunch of friends in the area she could call.

So I leave.

It’s about 10 minutes before I get a call from her asking what’s wrong. I don’t answer but I text that I left.

Already knowing what’s about to happen, I turn my phone off.

And sure enough, she gets our parents involved and they’re FURIOUS with me for leaving my sister intoxicated at a restaurant.

They also found out I had lied about needing to go somewhere after and now they’re threatening to take my phone and my PC.

It’s been a couple of hours and I’m beginning to feel guilty. My sister clearly has a problem and I’m not sure I handled it well.

I just wanted to make a point but I’m worried I made it worse.

AITJ?

Edit: She had seen me and my sister basically every week for the past 6 months and she seemed pretty nice. Which, probably wasn’t the best reasoning but at least she wasn’t a complete stranger.

And I had planned to call T’s partner and BFF to go pick her up (one to drive her and the other to drive her car) I just didn’t make it home before she called me (could’ve called beforehand in hindsight). I couldn’t take the keys with me if I wanted her partner to pick her up but I couldn’t leave them with her and be sure she wouldn’t try to drive herself home.

It was just a bad situation.”

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anma7 4 months ago
NTJ.. tell parents EXACTLY what's been going on and from now on DO NOT meet her for lunch period.. that way when she goes out gets jerk and drives etc you are NOT involved in any way...tell parents you are worried about her that itsneverytime and if they don't believe you go ask the restaurant seeing how you always go the same place n they know her
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12. AITJ For Wanting To Get A Cut From The Sales Of My Home?

“Four years ago, my grandmother died and left me a little chunk of change. Her specific directions said to spend it on an asset to better my quality of life.

I agreed to buy a house with my dad out of state basically in the middle of the woods.

90 min to the nearest Walmart. (Huge shock considering I’m from San Diego.)

I paid $7000 for the down payment and $2000 for the moving truck. My dad is a real estate agent and his lender insisted that I write it off as a ‘gift.’ (I never in a million years anticipated that my dad would do me like this.)

We bought the house for $179,000. The mortgage was $1100 per month. My partner and I paid $550, Dad and his wife paid the other half (ish).

At the two-year mark, my partner and I got into an argument. I took my son on a vacation down to San Diego for about a month.

When I was getting ready to return, my dad told me I was not welcome back. His wife was diagnosed with cancer and they did not need any stress. A few months later my partner eventually moved back to San Diego to be with his son and me.

Dad and wife are paying the full $1100 mortgage for the next two years. Wife does not encourage Dad to have a relationship with his children so we don’t hear from him much.

Dad’s wife passes away. He immediately sells the house (doesn’t tell me it sold!) I found out through Zillow it sold for $400k…

As it stands now, I am an unemployed stay-at-home mom who goes to Cosmetology school at night (an hour away and gas is killing me.) My ex moved out last month and was still helping with rent. A few days ago he was laid off from work and can’t contribute towards the rent anymore.

We might have to go to a shelter. All things considered, even if I wasn’t in a crappy position I think I still deserve at least 25% of the equity. He won’t even give me $20 for gas. My entire family has ganged up on me calling me a selfish jerk.

I feel like I’m in the twilight zone. So, AITJ?”

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anma7 4 months ago
NTJ.. however you need a lawyer and fast and as for thr family calling you tell them all to pound sand cos it wasn't them he screwed out of money.... get a lawyer and see where you stand considering tney got you to 'gift' the money
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11. AITJ For Rejecting Help From My Sister For Our Mother's Medical Costs?

“4 years ago mom was diagnosed with a brain tumor. She couldn’t get it removed because of its location so she started a treatment called gamma life which has been working great but expensive. For the past 4 years my mom has been managing the cost of it every time she went But this time she was broke and needed our help with the cost

This is where it starts.

About a month ago my sis and bro sat my mom down to make plans, said she could give 2k, my bro would give 2k, and we’d add that up to my mom’s check (2k) and get the rest from my dad and me.

Assuring her they’d help and give 4k, gave her hope, etc (lil sidenote: I wanna say she didn’t ASK me to help, she ORDERED which I was already going to but her tone was harsh and bugged me. Quoting what she said, ‘Ok listen this month you won’t eat, drink, or spend money on anything & give EVERYTHING you get directly to mom.

You BETTER give at least 1k – understood?’)

Then nothing.

Said nothing did nothing & went all silent about it. Mom started to worry but they said they would help and her own kids wouldn’t let her down right? So she decided to message my sis to ask.

She keeps avoiding the question. After a while, it’s clear that she’s not going to help as promised. So mom tries to find other solutions and ended up taking debt from an aunt and I work my butt off to give not 1 but a whole 5k – more than what my sis and bro would give combined

So yesterday afternoon she called to check in (mom’s bus for the doc is at 3 am, arriving at 8). She asked when she was going, playing oblivious, saying she didn’t know she was going tonight. Then asked ‘So how did you even come up with the money’.

Mom replied ‘Like I told you, I was either going to cancel the appointment or get a loan’. She snapped & said ‘I said we had it covered. I told you NOT to cancel or get a loan’ which is complete nonsense because we have the messages between them both & never did she say anything like that.

Then out of anger at her, I joined the call and said ‘Don’t talk like you care’. Mother added ‘You left me hanging about everything you have no right to get angry now’.

So she said ‘I don’t deserve ANY of this. I’m not talking to either of you again’.

I replied ‘Fine. Go screw yourself’ and hung up. Mom got angry at me for saying it and said I shouldn’t have & sure I was not going to say anything until she said she didn’t deserve what was said then I got angry and said it.

Now I apparently caused problems to escalate further.

PS. My sister is very stubborn and shortsighted. She even said & admitted herself a few times you can’t explain anything to her because whatever she thinks is the truth to her and nothing anyone else says matters so no we couldn’t just explain it to her.

Trust me, we tried.

AITJ?”

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anma7 4 months ago
NTJ.. i think she somehow realised you raised more than she could and therefore backed out of her contribution, that's wrong and her DEMANDING you give all your money in the first place wasn't good either.... i get it you are all worried about mom and worryingy about the costs etc... however i think you all need a proper conversation about all of this now... i get noone wants to face the fact they are terminal but dying and leaving you all in lots 9f debt isn't the way to go
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10. AITJ For Not Holding Onto My Dog's Leash More Mindfully?

“I have two dogs – Stout (F 5, lab mix) and Scotch (M 5, Aussie cattle dog mix) – that I love with all my heart, and I try to give them the best life I can. Once a week, I take them to this daycare place they absolutely love, and they’ve been clients there for years.

Scotch is a bit of a handful, as most cattle dogs can be, so they’ve made accommodations for him to have alone playtime instead of with the group. This has worked out well for all of us – they both get to run around and play, I get to work, and we all sleep better at night.

This week I ended up in the hospital for chest pains and found that I had essentially a stress-caused ulcer, so I’ve had to be on medication and significantly change my diet. This is important because I’ve found that my focus has been diminished somewhat as I adjust to these changes.

I’m dealing with a LOT right now, and this diagnosis has not helped.

Knowing that I would be out of the house a lot today, I scheduled an appointment to take Scotch and Stout to daycare. When you arrive, there is an intake room, which is understood as ‘one client is allowed at a time’ to prevent incidents.

Someone arrived right before me, so I waited a minute, then brought my dogs to wait at the door before seeing it was safe to go in. When I let my pups in, Stout’s leash got caught on the door, so I let Scotch’s leash go and I tended to Stout.

One of the workers (we’ll call him Kevin) came in to do the intake, which involved me taking off their leashes and having them escorted out.

As this was occurring, another woman brought in her dog and stood in the corner. Scotch, who was already hyped because he was at his happy place, went over to sniff the dog.

I called out to him, as I was trying to take off Stout’s leash, and realized one second too late that this could be bad, and ran to grab Scotch as he started to bark and lunge at the other dog. I apologized to the woman as I grabbed Scotch’s leash, and continued to help get Scotch ready for intake.

After Kevin took my dogs, I told the front desk what happened, and they checked to make sure everyone was alright.

As I was getting ready to leave, Kevin apparently ran in from the back, rushed in to find me, and started lecturing me about how I need to have better control of my dog.

I tried to explain that usually it’s one client at a time and I was caught off guard, and I apologized again. He continued to berate me, and I didn’t realize I was shaking from the exchange until I got in my car.

I called the daycare again when I got home, knowing I sounded shaky, apologized again, and mentioned that I was reprimanded by Kevin, which they weren’t aware of and seemed concerned.

I understand the safety concerns, and I’ll take my lumps if I’m the jerk, but I’m still rattled by Kevin loudly lecturing me rather than trying to help me.

AITJ?”

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anma7 4 months ago
NTJ entirely however i hope they reprimanded the woman who obviously thinks the rules don't apply to her.. yes you should have had better control however if she had NOT ENTERED the room until you left the room sans dogs it wouldn't have happened
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9. AITJ For Feeling Like My Wife And I Were Being Mistreated?

“In November 2020 my wife & I got a call from her uncle, aunt & father. They immediately started to explain that someone needed to take care of my wife’s grandmother. The aunt by marriage says that if they send her to a home it will cost between $4000-$6000 a month, so the family needs my wife (grandma’s favorite) & me to take grandma in.

Grandma was 92 and diagnosed with dementia & living poorly on her own in a double-wide in the middle of nowhere in northern Arizona. My wife’s uncle had power of attorney & paid a few folks to stop by his mother’s. It wasn’t enough & someone called the authorities to say she wasn’t being properly cared for.

At the time my wife, our two large dogs & I lived in a small 2 bedroom, so there was no way we could take grandma, her 4 dogs, & cat in.

My wife moved up to Grandma’s trailer almost immediately. I was able to visit her at grandma’s trailer over Christmas & she came down one other weekend in February.

We were thinking that when our apartment lease was up I would move up with our dogs. As it got colder my wife noticed mice and as winter progressed she came to the realization that the trailer was infested.

It was causing my wife to lose sleep & cause severe mental anguish.

It was determined that my wife would bring grandma & her 2 dogs (after painfully re-homing two dogs & the cat) down closer to the rest of the family & the three of us would rent a house. Because of the timing of our lease & the mice situation in the trailer, my wife & grandma could not stay & moved into my wife’s father’s house for 4 long weeks.

For several months after leaving that trailer, my wife would still twitch and turn her head as if she saw a mouse from of the corner of her eye.

At the time her family said that they would help & we would be taken care of.

Grandma’s trailer was sold.

We moved into that house last April. Since then my wife has stayed at home to be her grandma’s primary caregiver, I would assist & family would come by to give us breaks. The help from family was in actuality sparse.

My wife was paid a modest amount well below the market rate for a caregiver, to make Grandma’s money last as long as possible.

Caring for Grandma was extremely hard on my wife. It was emotionally taxing having someone you love & are trying to care for call you a stupid jerk while you’re trying to help them.

There really is too much to go into here.

My wife went without medical insurance & we sacrificed & went without, even struggling to care for our two old dogs.

Grandma passed away this past Friday evening. That night my wife received a call from her father’s wife, who had taken over the financial stuff, that we wouldn’t have to worry about rent for a bit, we would get moving costs covered, about $10,000.

We figure that there is at least $75,000 in Grandma’s estate.

We figured at a minimum we saved the estate about $36,000.

Are we the jerks for feeling like we are being slighted & not taken care of?”

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anma7 4 months ago
NTJ.. you have been used and owned tnry have no idea for you both what you have to do is get the money and move past this... the next time,e they need something tell them NO and stand your ground
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8. AITJ For Making My Sister Move Out Of My Home?

“I (24 f) own a home with my husband Andrew (25 m) that we’ve been slowly renovating for the past two years.

We decided to forego spending money on a wedding or a honeymoon and instead got a cute (but very old lol) house.

My sister Jenna (30 f) and her husband separated a few months back, and she’s been staying with us until she can get back on her feet.

Things were mostly fine in the beginning, I’ve never had issues with my sister before, and she’s always liked Andrew so I never thought there would be any problems. Andrew and I have always been a snuggly couple. It’s nothing over the top, just forehead kisses, hand-holding, and arm hugging mostly.

I will admit that now that I’m pregnant (due in late Dec), Andrew has been way more snuggly.

If he’s not fixing something in the house, sitting at his computer working, or running an errand, then he’s probably either touching my belly or thinking about doing it lol.

He’s excited about being a dad and I think it’s really sweet so I don’t mind.

Jenna has been passive-aggressive about it since he started doing it. She’ll roll her eyes in annoyance or make a bit of a dramatic show of leaving the room.

It’s honestly been annoying but Andrew and I have mostly just ignored it.

Last night when I was curled up on the couch not feeling well, Andrew brought me a drink, kissed my forehead, and then touched my belly while jokingly scolding our baby for making me sick.

Jenna kind of huffed, but she waited until Andrew went back to putting some furniture together in the other room before she told me that I needed to stop being such an insensitive jerk by ‘flaunting’ my happy marriage in her face.

I told her I was sorry that she’s going through a tough time in her own marriage, but I’m flaunting anything and it’s not like Andrew and I were doing it to antagonize her.

She said we were being inconsiderate and that as long as she’s staying at the house we need to keep our affections confined to our bedroom.

Finally, I said that it was OUR home, so I wouldn’t be asking my husband to only act affectionate towards me behind closed doors, and that if it really was that difficult for her to see us together then maybe she’d be better off staying somewhere else.

Well, that upset her because she packed some of her stuff up and left shortly afterward. Today I’ve been getting all kinds of messages from our mom saying how cruel it was of me to toss Jenna out, and I got a message from Jenna saying she still can’t believe how insensitive I’m being about this.

Andrew has assured me that I wasn’t being cruel or insensitive about any of it, but I still feel unsure so I wanted to get some opinions from people who are removed from the situation.

ETA: Jenna was staying with my husband and me instead of our mom because we have more space at our house than our mom does in hers.

It’s also a shorter commute to Jenna’s job from here, so it was for convenience but I do want to make a point of saying that I love my sister and I wanted to be there for her while she was going through her separation.

She was also made aware that I was pregnant almost a month before she started staying with us. I found out really early on and she was the second person I told.

I’m also not a huge fan of excessive displays of affection in front of others, and so I didn’t really think that Andrew and I had crossed a line or been ‘overly’ affectionate in her presence.”

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anma7 4 months ago
NTJ.. you need to .set mom straight asap an tell her you didn't toss her out at all she CHOSE to leave AFTER demanding that you alter the behaviour in your OWN home..that if sis can't deal with seeing you and hubby how's she's going to be around the. Baby and that's your prome focus now not her feelings
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7. AITJ For Not Wanting To Invite My Uncle To Our Family Gathering?

“I (20 f) have a 7-year-old sister (Jane) who is autistic and has ADHD. She’s not a bad kid at all but can be a little much at times. She also doesn’t understand social cues and doesn’t like playing with other kids as they often wind her up as a ‘joke’ so she stays at our mum’s side – but she’s usually very well-behaved and will play quietly or color in her books, etc.

My uncle (John – 30s) is childfree and pretty much all the kids/young adults have a story where he’s said or done something to deliberately make us upset. He told my cousin that Santa, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy aren’t real. He once found a horse skull in the woods and told my other older sister (who was 8 at the time) that it was a unicorn skull and it died because she was being annoying and talked too much.

There are many more examples, but those are (in my opinion) the worst.

Well, he hates Jane, particularly, the neurodivergent aspects of her – like her sensory food issues or getting over-stimulated. He says it’s just her looking for attention when it’s clearly not.

I recently overheard him complaining to his new partner (Lucy) about Jane at a smaller family dinner. I didn’t hear the whole thing but Lucy said something about making out on the pier and John said ‘No. Jane will be stuck to my sister’s side like always.

Should probably dump her in the lake or something.’

Now, I don’t actually truly believe he would do that, but I did believe he would go out of his way to do something to Jane so I told my family after everyone left. My mum agrees and has said she’s never gotten along with her brother and doesn’t know why everyone puts up with him.

She told some other family members the next day who didn’t think excluding my uncle was a good idea. It got back to John that this was being discussed and he flipped out and said I was trying to embarrass him in front of his new partner.

Some family members think it’s disrespectful to even suggest John not attend because he’s family (ironically, all the family members sticking up for John are also childfree).

AITJ?”

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rbleah 4 months ago
Somebody needs to remind him of what Thumper's Daddy said..If you can't say something nice DON'T SAY NOTHING AT ALL. Uncle is an AZZ and need to be put back in his own lane. As far as I can see HE IS TRASH and so are the ones backing him up.
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6. AITJ For Being Angry At My Best Friend For Telling His Wife Whatever I Tell Him?

“Charlie (27 M) and I (27 M) have been best friends since the 5, went to the same college and moved to the same city.

We are basically brothers. In 2020 he met Sam (27 F) and we would all hang out. Me and Sam weren’t best friends but she made an effort and that’s all that mattered to me. They got married in 2022 and I was the best man.

I am currently single and just enjoying that lifestyle. I started noticing Sam making comments after the wedding, basically asking if I thought I’d start wanting to settle down. She also never used to care if we went out by ourselves but now she was always with us.

And if we were by ourselves she’d call the whole night kinda ruining the time.

Last week she kept saying she wanted to set me up with her friend Bethany. I didn’t know Bethany but Sam seemed excited so I went in blind other than I knew she was a nurse practitioner which I found impressive so I decided to go.

I went out with Bethany who was beautiful and funny. We had a good time but she mentioned she had a kid. Which is not the baggage I like to deal with. Afterwards she brought up a second date I said that she was the whole package but her kid would be a dealbreaker for me.

But if she ever wanted something casual or to grab a drink again I’d be down.

The next day I stopped over at Charlie’s place and Sam went off on me. Didn’t even give me a chance to walk on the door before she started calling me a bunch of stuff out of the blue.

Charlie looked as shocked as I did. I defended myself and said I was a gentleman about it and I had no idea why she was so mad. I didn’t treat her friend poorly at all. Charlie stayed out of it but then Sam said some things that I never told her about my preferences in women.

Something that I only told Charlie. I asked Charlie why he told her things that were between us. And he said that Sam is his wife and he has to tell her things.

This enraged me and I basically went off on both of them.

I told Sam that she’s an insecure little girl. That she’s super clingy now and just trying to set me up with her friends because she doesn’t trust her husband. And she needs to get help for that and leave me out of it.

I told Charlie that he and I aren’t gonna be boys like we were until he learns to get his balls back. I told him I couldn’t trust him anymore because he’d just run to his wife and spill my stories to her.

And how obviously my life was a topic of discussion for them and I’m not cool with that. And that I was staying away until Sam was gone. More things were said but eventually, I left.

Charlie and I play in a golf league together and I canceled today.

He’s reached out a few times and I’ve not responded. I’ve blocked Sam on all social media and she’s tried requesting again. I talked to Charlie’s sister and she said that her brother is really upset but I’m being a jerk about it.

She also said my comments about Sam were not wrong. AITJ?”

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anma7 4 months ago
NTJ.. however stop telling him anything at all.... EVER and when he asks why tell him that youncant trust him not to go tell the woman he is married to and that he broke your trust for a woman he's been with for 5mins over your lifetime friendship
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5. WIBTJ If I Tell My Hals-Sister's New Family About Her True Identity?

“I (F 25) have a half-sister (F 24) named ‘Hannah’. I suppose from our ages the circumstances of her birth are very obvious, and because of this and the subsequent drama, she was never in my life growing up. I would say I’ve met her less than 10 times in my life.

When she was 16 she started consistently reaching out to me via social media but I was never interested. This stopped when we were about 20.

Since then, I mostly forgot about her existence until she reached out to me again at the start of this year, saying she’d got engaged. She wanted me to come to her engagement party and help her get in contact with the rest of my dad’s side of the family.

I told her I wasn’t interested but I did ask the rest of the family (granddad, aunts, cousins) if they wanted me to put them in touch with her and they said no, so I told her that, too.

About a week later I got a message on social media from her fiancé, digging me out for how I treated her.

He told me he understood that it was tough being the product of an affair and he understood that I would be jealous of her since I was shunned by the family, but that she felt terrible about it and had always wanted a relationship with me.

I was as confused as I was angry because he had the entire story backward.

I forwarded the messages to Hannah with a question mark and she admitted that her fiancé and his whole family don’t know that she is an affair baby, that they think she stayed in contact with Dad’s family, that she went to the schools and university and basically lived the life I did.

I didn’t blast her for the lies, I just told her that if I ever heard from any of the people in her life again, I would tell them the truth.

The months went by. A few days ago, I received more messages, from the fiancé and the fiancé’s sister, calling me a heartless jerk for refusing Hannah’s attempts at contact.

The sister said I needed to get over my jealousy of Hannah. The fiancé called me a spiteful witch for ‘emotionally blackmailing’ Hannah’s dad into not going to the wedding. It took everything in me not to reply and read the lot of them to filth.

So, now I’m contemplating whether I would be the jerk for messaging them back with the truth. It can’t go on like this, I told Hannah to handle her business and she didn’t. Also, her lies are pretty creepy. She’s marrying a guy who has no idea who she is.

Then again, it’s not like she sent these people after me, so maybe I would be the jerk for tearing apart her whole life over something that isn’t technically her fault.”

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rbleah 4 months ago
Tell them the truth and let Hannah's lies speak for themselves. THEN BLOCK EVERYBODY FROM HER LIFE that is trying to come at you. Send them a copy of you telling Hannah to tell them the truth or you would. Let her stew in HER OWN LIES.
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4. AIJT For Not Wanting To Leave My Wife Alone At Home While I Go To My Sister's Wedding?

“My wife ‘Alex’ (29 F) and I (30 F) have been together four years total, and we’ve been married for two years. Alex has an anxiety disorder and depression, in addition, she is also a recovering drinking addict and has been sober for five years.

Even with everything she’s an amazing person and I love her with all my heart.

Alex has been really stressed this last month as she had to take on the workload of a coworker who went on maternity leave. She had been in the office 8+ hours every day, and even when she was home, she often used that time to catch up on work.

The overworking caught up to Alex mentally and she had a nervous breakdown so bad that we considered hospitalization… But even after we got through the worst of it, Alex was still not doing great. This wasn’t a problem until Alex told me that she probably wasn’t going to be up to ‘Jamie’, my sister’s wedding over the weekend.

In all, my sister’s wedding would have been a three-day trip for us, as I was supposed to be one of the maids of honor (she planned to have two) so we would have spent an additional day in her city to help with preparations the day before.

That, along with the fact that there would be an open bar at the reception of her wedding meant that it really wouldn’t have been a great situation for Alex to be in, so I was supportive of Alex making the decision to not attend.

However, after thinking about it, I came to the conclusion on my own that I didn’t feel comfortable going to Jamie’s wedding if it meant leaving Alex at home alone knowing what she was going through (to be clear, Alex was not doing well). I called Jamie on Thursday (two days before) to tell her what was going on, apologized, and explained Alex and I were not going to be able to attend her wedding this weekend.

She instantly started crying and yelling at me, saying ‘You’re supposed to show up for family’ and accused Alex of manipulating me and told me that Alex should be able to take care of herself. She said that I was being unbelievably selfish and ended the call telling me not to expect her to forgive me anytime soon.

I haven’t spoken with my sister in 5 days now and her wedding already passed. I’m glad I didn’t go to her wedding because I felt better knowing that I chose to support Alex, and she’s doing a lot better now. While I stand by my decision to be there for Alex when she needed me over Jamie, I can’t help but wonder if I did the ‘right’ thing here.

AITJ?”

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anma7 4 months ago
ESH... sister for not understanding, you for not giving her the heads up SOONER than a couple of days before and for not realising that your wife has been sober 5YEARS!! Not months years and you can't stay away from every function that has booze cos she's sober... that's not helping g she needs to learn how to function around these things
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3. AITJ For Being Upset That My Husband's Parents Shared Our Pregnancy News To Others?

“My husband (29 m) and I (28 f) have been trying to conceive for 1 year. We are the oldest in both families.

At the end of July, I found out that I was pregnant. We called our immediate families IMMEDIATELY to tell them and then told a few close friends who know we’ve been struggling this year.

The agreement was that we would wait until the first prenatal appointment to start telling extended family members because I’ve had a loss in the past.

The weekend following us telling everyone, we visit my husband’s parents. Besides the news of our pregnancy, it was a pretty typical visit.

Until his grandma called.

While we were all sitting and having lunch, his maternal grandmother called my MIL to check in on her since she’d been on a heart monitor for the past few weeks. On a whim, I turn around to whisper to my FIL, ‘Did y’all tell Grandma?’ FIL smiled sheepishly, and said ‘Well I told my mom, I just couldn’t hold it in’.

This was a little irritating but, I know that my FIL is EXTREMELY close to his mom and I just left it at that.

Eventually, my MIL got off the phone with her mom and I asked the same question ‘Did you tell Grandma that we’re pregnant?’ MIL balled up her face, motioned toward FIL, and said, ‘I only told mine because he told his…’

Fast forward once again to a few days ago, I was sitting with my husband and I expressed to him that my feelings were really hurt that his parents took it upon themselves to share our news with the family without giving us any heads up.

I told him I was not angry, but I felt disregarded, and I didn’t want to start a precedent where his parents can say/do anything they want when it comes to this pregnancy/baby. He smiled and said he understood, and that I should tell his parents if that’s how I feel.

So we called both of his parents on FaceTime. I explained to his parents that I was hurt and a little irritated that they didn’t ask or inform us that they had told the family. I explained that he and I wanted to wait to tell the extended family but they had ruined that plan.

I explained that I wasn’t mad or angry, I just wished they hadn’t done it. FIL smiled and apologized saying he was just excited, but going forward he won’t share any updates without talking to us first. MIL once again balled up her face and said ‘Well you should have made that clear in the beginning.

We are just excited about our first grandchild. Make it clear next time.’ and then went back to whatever she was doing. No apology. We said I love you and goodbye as usual.

When I talked to my husband after we hung up, I said ‘They didn’t take me seriously’.

To which he responded saying that his dad did, but his mom felt attacked and her petty kicked in. He said to let it go for now, she’ll figure it out.

But I can’t let it go. Am I justified for wanting to control the flow of information about our baby?

Or am I just being a hormonal overprotective mom?”

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anma7 4 months ago
NTJ.. but you learned a very valuable lesson.. if you don't want extended to know until YOU announce it you can't tell the parents either simple
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2. WIBTJ If I Make My Son Quit From A TV Show Role?

“My son (12 m) landed his first role in a TV show a few months back. The show isn’t very big but obviously, he’s ecstatic about it as are myself (40 m) and my partner (45 f).

When he received the offer and accepted it my partner and I sat him down and gave him some ground rules about how we expected him to behave in the future.

We all know how people can act obnoxiously once they receive a little bit of fame and my partner and I really don’t want my son to end up being one of those people. We especially didn’t want him thinking that because his acting career has kicked off but he can let his schooling fall behind because ‘he’s famous now’.

So we sat him down and gave him some basic ground rules. This was just stuff like focusing on school the exact same as you would before (obviously with some considerations given his new job) and not acting like he’s above anyone else. Very simple stuff.

Well, the problem is that even though he’s agreed to this he’s already gone against it. Obviously, once the news broke he became quite popular at school (even though they haven’t started filming yet), and from what we can tell he’s already ditched his old friends and has been adopted by the ‘popular kids’.

That isn’t too bad on its own but apparently, he’s also been lording it over other kids and his grades have immediately started slipping. The final straw that brought this to our attention was his refusing to do work in class and attempting to ridicule his teacher by saying that he makes more money than she does.

So given this even though I know it’ll hurt my son’s career before it’s actually started I’m thinking of pulling him out. We expressly told him not to do this but he’s done this anyway and I feel like if I back down now things will only get worse.

That said my partner agrees that this is bad but things that me pulling him will crush him and is a jerk thing to do. She thinks that we should sit him down and talk to him and give him some time to adjust to the change in his life.

We argued about this quite a bit and she’s confided in her sister about this and now they’re both telling me that it would be a jerk move.”

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MadameZ 4 months ago
YWBTJ. It's understandable at his age that it's gone to his head; keep reminding him that this success may not last forever and that, also, being able to treat other people with courtesy is essential whatever he does with his life.
However, wrecking his potential career by being a controlling parent is something he will never forgive you for.
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1. AITJ For Wanting To Share A Hotel Room With My Friend?

“I (25 m) am with Kassy (24 f). I love her a lot obviously. And the other person in this story is my female friend Laura (25 f). Laura and I have known each other since we were 3 years old. We went to the same kindergarten, schools, and also uni.

In Uni I met my now -partner Kassy. She became part of our friend group and later we started going out. She has always been aware that Laura and I were very close and that only platonicly. And also that Laura was a lesbian and had a female significant other with whom she also started going out in Uni.

Well since we started going out, the only times I hung out with Laura was when both of our partners were there with us or with our old friend group.

Last week Laura asked if I wanted to go to a concert. She won 2 tickets and her SO doesn’t like the music they play there so Laura asked me because she knows that it’s one of my favorite bands.

I also know that Kassy doesn’t like the music but I asked her anyway if she wanted to come along and we would buy her another ticket so she could come with us. She said she didn’t want to come along so I agreed to go with Laura alone.

It was great because we could hang out too.

Well, today Laura and her SO came over for lunch and we talked. We got to the topic of the concert and Kassy asked if we were going to come home right afterward. We said that we would stay in a hotel for a night because the drive home would be too long during the late night and after the concert.

Laura’s SO suggested a hotel near the concert hall where she stayed when she went to a concert there. She showed it to us on her phone and it was an amazing location and pretty cheap.

Laura and I decided to book a double room with separate beds.

When we discussed only booking one room Kassy gave us a disapproving look. I asked her what was wrong and she said that she didn’t want us to have a room together. She said that it seemed like this trip was just for us two to go off and f0ol around.

Laura said that she’s a lesbian. Not bi or pansexual. She is only attracted to girls. Kassy said that everyone can just say that but she knows the truth.

I know Kassy never liked me hanging out with another girl alone and I understand it for the most part.

But Laura is a lesbian, has a partner and we’re only friends.

Kassy now doesn’t want me to go to the concert at all because she said she can’t trust me. I offered to get separate rooms so that she would know we were both alone but she refused. I also offered that she could come along and go shopping during the concert and when we got back to the hotel we would share a room.

She said that she couldn’t know if we were actually going to the concert or somewhere else to hook up. She said that she can’t trust me with Laura so I’m not allowed to be alone with her. She’s really upset and doesn’t wanna talk to me unless it’s about me not going to the concert.

So AITJ for wanting to share a room with my female friend?”

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LizzieTX 4 months ago
YTJ. It doesn't matter if Laura is a lesbian. Your SO is going to be jealous of her because of your long friendship, and sharing a room is an invitation for disaster. And you'd be surprised how often things "just happen" between "old friends" who have some privacy and a convenient bed, sexual preference notwithstanding.
Do yourself and Kassy a favor and get your own room. It's not that much more expensive, and will save your relationship with your SO, if you're so inclined.
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