People Are Brutally Honest In These "Am I The Jerk?" Stories

Delve into a collection of deeply personal, thought-provoking, and at times, controversial narratives. From rejecting parental gifts and defending family members, to confronting sensitive issues and standing up for personal beliefs, these stories explore the complex realm of ethical dilemmas and moral quandaries. Get ready to question, empathize, and perhaps, even judge. Welcome to "Am I The Jerk?" - a series of real-life conundrums that will make you question everything you thought you knew about right and wrong. AITJ = Am I the jerk? NTJ = Not the jerk WIBTJ = Would I be the jerk? YTJ = You're the jerk

32. AITJ For Defending A New Mother In A Restaurant?

“I went out to eat with my (34f) partner (35m) and two other couples. For context, I am a mother to a 5yr old (not my partner’s child). So two tables away was a new parent couple & what I can only assume was the guy’s parents. I assumed this because I was that girl when I first had my child.

Out to dinner with your child’s father and his family and baby is being fussy – you’re struggling and no one is helping you. Baby’s crying for about 15 min now all while the father or no one else for that matter is offering her any help or a break so she can have at least a bite of her food that’s been sitting there cold for about 30 min.

I really just wanted to run to her, grab the baby for a bit and tell her to eat.

This is where I might have been a jerk: baby’s crying (again no one paying attention) and she goes to comfort baby and breastfeed. Well ALL of a sudden she’s the center of attention! Baby’s father says what are you doing? That’s disgusting go to a stall in the bathroom! At this point I lost it.

My partner was trying to calm me down the entire time telling me it’s none of my business but I just went ham. I got up from my table, walked over and told him if he found it so disgusting why doesn’t he go eat his sandwich on the toilet.

I said she has been struggling, hasn’t had a bite to eat all while the 3 of you sit there enjoying yourselves and letting her drown.

And then I said loud enough that the tables around could hear that anyone who is offended by a woman breastfeeding needs to get checked.

No one said anything but she also didn’t go to the bathroom and finished feeding her baby who calmed down and she was able to eat.

My partner is upset I caused a scene in front of some of his friends and everyone really at the restaurant but I just couldn’t sit back, watch, and say nothing.

So AITJ for inserting myself and yelling at strangers?”

17 points - Liked by shmi, JustMeJET, anmi and 15 more

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DAZY7477 6 months ago
Ntj! Someone needs to stand up for her since her husband wouldn't.
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31. AITJ For Calling The Cops On A Mom After Finding Her Young Son Alone At Night?


“Last night I (26F) was walking our 2 dogs (8M and 7F). I like to walk the dogs while my husband is on his way home from work, so he can pick us up on the way and we can grab dinner. It’s about 7:30 pm when I see a small boy alone in an empty lot.

Now we’re walking on the sidewalk of the busiest road in town, and there are a couple of fast food places around us so there’s also others around. He is under a street lamp, but again, it’s getting late.

I stop to ask him where his parents are and he said he’s waiting for them.

I can’t get super close to him because our male dog can be unpredictable around small kids, so we’re basically just shouting at each other from around 10ft apart next to a busy road, so it’s also hard to hear him. He has a phone and he occasionally will talk to someone on it.

I’m not getting a ton of info from this kid other than his parents’ names are “mom” and “dad” and he lives down the street. Grandma is supposed to be watching him but she doesn’t know he left because she was in her room with the door closed. His 13-year-old sister is still at home but she knows he left.

So I text my family in our discord and they think he could be bait for trafficking. Now I’m a small girl, think 5’2″ and 110lbs. I have my two large dogs, but I don’t like taking risks so I call the nonemergency line and ask for an officer to come and wait with us until his parents show.

By now, my husband has arrived because I texted him my location. I put the dogs in his car and sit with the boy. He’s on the phone with his mom so I talk to her and she said she just ran out to the store for 10 minutes and grandma should’ve been watching him.

He sneaks out all the time.

An officer shows up (10 minutes after I called) right as mom pulls in and she looks pretty annoyed that I called the cops. She’s obviously annoyed at her son. I ask the officer if I can leave and he said yes so I’m out of there.

From start to finish, I waited with the boy for almost half an hour.

Here’s where I may be the jerk. The kid said he lived down the street and the address he gave me was a 3-minute walk. I feel bad calling the cops on a mom just trying to do her best.

I would hate for CPS to get involved in a situation that just turned out to be an accident or bad timing, I have no idea what all that mom has to deal with. But also, I had no idea of knowing if this kid was escaping a bad home life, or if he was actually bait for trafficking.”

7 points - Liked by OwnedByCats, LolaB17, pamlovesbooks918 and 6 more

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DAZY7477 6 months ago
Good. It was necessary.
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30. AITJ For Retaliating Against A Guest Who Belittled My Choice To Be A Homemaker?


“I (28F) have been married to my husband “Harold” (29M) for the past 5 years. A bit of background: Harold and I have what most people would refer to as a “traditional marriage.” He’s the Breadwinner and I’m the Homemaker, so all the responsibilities in the home are my job, and all the responsibilities outside the home are his job.

Harold and I agreed to pursue this type of lifestyle, and it benefits us both equally.

Unfortunately, we’ve had our share of judgment and harsh opinions from people that simply don’t understand our marriage. We’ve had a few friends and family members tell us that Harold is forcing this life on me, I’m wasting my “best years,” etc.

I try my best to explain to people that our marriage dynamic is consensual and it’s what makes us happy. It also doesn’t make it any easier that I’m the only woman in my friend group that doesn’t work outside the home.

Yesterday, I had a girls get together with all my friends (8 of us in total).

A friend of mine asked if she could invite one of her coworkers, “Nina” (32F). My friend told me that Nina recently went through a messy divorce and that she could use some girl time. I’ve never met Nina, but I didn’t see any problem with inviting her. Nina comes over, introduces herself, and everything was going smoothly.

A couple of hours into the visit, Nina asked me what I do for work. I told her that I didn’t have a conventional job and that I’m a Homemaker.

Nina gave me a confused look, which I’m very used to at this point. She then asked, “Why would you wanna be cooped up in here all day?” I told her that my Husband and I are happy just having a more traditional marriage.

She rolled her eyes and said, “Oh…right. It’s what you and your Husband wanted.” I asked her what she meant by that, and she said, “No woman who was born after the 40s actually wants a traditional marriage. Their husbands just convince them to want it.”

I then said that her comments were a bit rude, generalizing, and belittling.

She kept giving me judgy side glances and clearly wasn’t taking me seriously. The last straw was when I overheard her tell one of my friends, “Well, at least OP doesn’t have kids, especially daughters. I just can’t imagine them living a life like this.” I was upset and said, “You’re right Nina, this isn’t a happy life to live.

When I need tips on how to become a depressed divorcee at 32, I’ll give you a call.”

Everyone heard it, the room went dead silent, Nina then started crying and left. A couple of my friends left and called me a jerk for stooping so low. A couple of my other friends stayed and said that Nina deserved it after being so rude to me first. I spoke to Harold about what happened, and he’s on the fence about the whole thing. AITJ?”

6 points - Liked by shmi, anmi, jefe and 4 more

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rbleah 6 months ago
She is just jealous cause YOU ARE HAPPY AND SHE IS NOT. She could not keep her marriage together and took it out on you. She is an IDIOT. AND a lousy guest. She should have kept her mouth shut and her thoughts to herself. YOU ARE NOT THE JERK. If YOU are happy I say SCREW people like her.
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29. AITJ For Cancelling Our Wedding After My Partner's Family Pressured Us Despite My Grief?


“Background: my partner (M46) and I (F31) have been together for 8 years, and have been engaged now for 3, we had a big wedding planned and understandably postponed it twice because of restrictions.

After the second postponement, my Father (M55) passed away suddenly and we postponed again because I was broken.

My Dad’s family fell out with us (me and sibling) when my dad died over funeral plans, inheritance issues – they basically wanted to ignore my Dad, my sibling, and my wishes and do what they want – so in terms of family, it is just me and my sibling now (mum passed in 2014).

My partner’s family started hassling us about the wedding because restrictions are pretty much gone (partner’s family is from another country). My partner and I paid for and will pay for everything, so it’s not like his family has a financial stake here. I am really struggling with the idea of getting married without my Dad or my family there.

When our Mum died, my brother and I both had severe depression, and our Dad (who just lost his wife) picked us up and carried us through (we were 22 and 24 at the time, so independent adults), I can’t stress enough how incredible a man and Father my Dad was, and how shattering losing him so young has been.

A big attraction to the wedding for me was dreams of him walking me down the aisle and making an embarrassing speech, I can’t picture a big wedding without my Dad. My partner is completely fine with waiting so it’s not an issue between us.

Future MIL and SIL were on Zoom with us and brought up the wedding again, looking for an update on when we were having it.

I shrugged and said we weren’t thinking about that just yet. SIL exploded and said it wasn’t fair for me to hold my partner to ransom because of my “daddy issues” and that they deserved a wedding. Partner gently said he isn’t being held to ransom and is fine with waiting, we’ve been together 8 years, a ring on the finger isn’t a big deal.

MIL said that if we didn’t pick a date to hold the wedding next year in the next week, then she had no intention of coming, and SIL agreed. I removed myself from the situation and heard my partner arguing with them.

My partner and I decided to cancel the wedding, and we let everyone know by sending out cards.

We lost a lot of money as most things had been paid for already. MIL and SIL are furious and not speaking to either of us. It wasn’t worth it to us to have a wedding with none of my family, and his family being completely disrespectful to us. We plan to tie the knot privately at some point, but a big wedding is now completely off the cards. His family is sticking by MIL and SIL. Are we the jerks?”

6 points - Liked by shmi, anmi, jefe and 4 more

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DAZY7477 6 months ago
Elope!! Just you and him and go on a retreat. Yall deserve it!
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28. AITJ For Wanting To Upgrade My Phone Instead Of Replacing My Husband's Broken One?

“For some context – my husband and I have mostly separate finances. I’m the primary earner and I cover 85% of our rent and expenses. This is because half his income goes to child support and I want him to still have some funds for himself.

I’m the kind of person who takes care of their electronics.

I can keep a phone for 2-4 years with very little issue. Towards the end it might be scratched up a bit and have a wonky charge port, but in general still fully functional. Every single phone I’ve ever had, save 1, has been replaced only when I felt ready for an upgrade – not because the previous one broke.

My husband, on the other hand, somehow manages to ruin all of his phones within 1-2 years of purchase (closer to 1 than 2). In the last 5 years I’ve bought him 3 phones. Not high-end – Moto G series mostly because I use the same ones and they work well and IME hold up well.

Every time he gets a new phone I make sure he has screen protectors and a case and all that good stuff. But he’ll take the case off for some reason or it’ll break (the last one had these tabs that clipped a hard shell over a rubber shell and the tabs snapped off) and he won’t replace it.

Then he drops it and the screen protector cracks and is compromised, but he doesn’t replace the screen protector either. So from there he ends up cracking the screen and over the course of a couple of months the screen gets worse and worse until it’s unusable.

His current phone is facing imminent death.

The screen is half destroyed, parts of it won’t light, the charge port is barely working. It’s a mess.

I’ve been thinking about replacing my phone for a while now, but I was on the fence about it because my phone still works okay. There’s a hairline crack in one corner and the charge port needs to be supported when it’s plugged in, but neither is really affecting its function.

I have the extra funds right now for one phone. So I decided I’m going to buy myself a new phone as an upgrade and give him my old one until he can save up and research and buy himself a new one. To be honest, I’m tired of replacing things he’s ruined only for him to ruin them again a year later.

At least this way he has a working phone in the interim.

I was talking to a friend about this plan and they said I was being unfair and selfish, that if my phone works I should be replacing his first instead of worrying about replacing mine. Now I’m second-guessing myself. AITJ?”

6 points - Liked by ruha, jefe, pamlovesbooks918 and 3 more

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rbleah 6 months ago
Quit buying his phones for a bit and UPGRADE FOR YOURSELF. WHEN he throws a fit tell him to take better care of the phones you buy for him. Tell him he needs to pull up his big boy jerk and deal with it.
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27. AITJ For Demanding My Son's Stepparent Reinstall His Room Lock?

“I divorced my wife shortly after our 11-year-old daughter passed away suddenly. My marriage fell apart and we couldn’t stay and keep hurting ourselves the way we did. I’m not bitter about life nor am I scared of death anymore. In fact, I’m a survivor, I survived my worst nightmare and that is losing a child.

I do my best to be the best dad for my son; he’s 15 and I share custody of him with his mom and her husband James.

I do have personal issues with James because of his unreasonable expectations for my son. He explicitly made it clear that as long as my son lives under his roof then he needs to follow the rules which is fine but the problem is James claims my son is being rebellious and disrespecting rules and evading punishments.

His latest rant was that my son was hiding stuff in his room and being “shady”. Who on earth talks like that about their stepkid? As a stepparent myself, I treat my stepkids as my own.

I found out days ago that James removed the lock my son bought after his stepbrothers kept taking his stuff (they broke his drone camera) and eliminating any privacy.

When I went to speak to James he said my son is hiding stuff though my son said he wants privacy and for his stepbrothers to stop taking his stuff. James argued that transparency is important in his house and closed doors mean problems besides that I’m teaching my son to be anti-social instead of encouraging him to bond with his stepbrothers through sharing.

Also said my son’s being a bad influence on his stepbrother since now they want locks too. I got mad and in the heat of the moment called him paranoid for removing the lock. He asked me to leave but I told him he had a set of time to reinstall the lock or I’m going to get my son another lock and put it there myself.

He laughed saying he’d love to see me try and do that in his own darn house. He threatened to call the cops for trespassing but I reminded him that’s my son’s house as well. He asked if I thought my minor son legally owns the house then told me to leave again.

The issue hasn’t been resolved yet and my ex-wife told me off for threatening her husband and trying to dictate what goes on in his house. I had a fight with her and called her a terrible mother for letting him treat her blood and flesh this way. She said I don’t get to talk to her like that because she never agreed on removing the lock but can’t do anything about it basically saying she won’t upset her husband which is typical but this issue involves me as well and I refuse to see my son treated like that by his stepfamily.”

6 points - Liked by jefe, pamlovesbooks918, leja2 and 3 more

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LilVicky 6 months ago
Can your son move in with you? He’s 15 so in most states if you’re in the US let a child of that age chose where he wants to live. Being at his mother’s isn’t good for him
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26. AITJ For Submitting Our Group Project Early Without Everyone's Parts?


“So in my university psych class we have these group essay projects where we basically split the topic into parts and each write a part. We had two weeks to do our parts, it’s about a paragraph each and we had already known what parts we’re doing, shared the document and everything.

It’s really not that much work, my part took about 20 minutes (literally).

So we’re all in a group chat and after the initial topic selection, no one but one person had said anything or done their part (just me and this other girl, Jess). So the day it’s due comes around (due at 11:59 pm) and that night was also the football game that my partner and I bought tickets for and were excited to go to for months prior.

It didn’t start until 8 pm so it was very likely that I wouldn’t be able to be the one to finish anyone who didn’t finish’s part and turn it in (only one person needs to turn it in).

So I send a message to the group that morning asking if someone else can be responsible for turning it in since I couldn’t that night.

Only Jess said anything, saying she can’t because she’s an online student in another country so the time zone would make it so she can’t, totally understandable. I wait a bit and ask again, no response from anyone and they still haven’t started their parts. A couple of hours from the game and I’m starting to stress because I don’t want to have to skip the game we spent $100+ on but I couldn’t be the one to finish their parts and turn it in if I didn’t do it beforehand.

So I talk to the TA and she says to one more time tell everyone that they need their part done by the time I leave (8 pm) or I’m going to turn it in without their parts.

After this, one more person does their part but the rest still don’t, so I do their parts and turn it in right before I leave at 8 pm, and made note of who didn’t do their part (as the TA told me to), and turned it in.

While I was at the game the rest of them I guess finally saw the messages and blew up the chat cussing me out and saying they’re going to get a 0 now and that I turned it in before the due date time so it was unfair. When I saw this I said that’s what the TA told me to do, and that they had two weeks to write one paragraph, and that I had been asking for 12 hours prior if anyone else can just be the one to turn it in and no one said anything.

If someone just offered to turn it in I wouldn’t have had to turn it in early at all. They said they’re going to “talk to the TA” and that I’m a “tryhard jerk”. The TA is on my side so I’m not going to get in trouble but AITJ?

EDIT: The professor has also been contacted and he agreed with the TA’s judgment. Also, from the beginning they had the option to turn in their part after I turned in ours at 8 pm, but didn’t. They had the entire deadline (11:59 pm) to get full credit for their part.”

5 points - Liked by OwnedByCats, LolaB17, pamlovesbooks918 and 2 more

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LilVicky 6 months ago
NTJ I hate group projects
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25. AITJ For Withdrawing As Bridesmaid After Sister-in-law Preferred My Fiancé's Ex Friend?


“So last weekend it was my sister-in-law’s wedding. My sister-in-law is my fiancé’s sister to clarify.

I’ve been with my fiancé for 5 years and we’ve been engaged for two. Before I got with my fiancé, his family was trying to get him to be with another female friend of his who he no longer talks to because she’s said some pretty horrible things about him and some of his friends.

Plus she was always trying to put me in my place since I started being with my fiancé, claiming she’ll always come first in his life. Long story short, stuff happened and they no longer talk.

I have a pretty close relationship with his family, especially his two siblings, his sister (the bride), and his brother.

One day before the wedding we were having a family lunch with the bride’s family and during lunch she started mentioning that female ex-friend of my fiancé. She started saying what a gorgeous girl she is and how pretty she is. My fiancé and I felt uncomfortable and my fiancé was pretty upset because that ex-friend has caused a lot of damage in my fiancé’s life in the past so it was hurtful for him to hear his sister praising her like that but he stayed silent since he didn’t want to cause drama during the wedding period.

The nail in the coffin was when my SIL said that it’s a shame my fiancé never got to be with (female ex-friend) since I came along and took her place because she’d love to have her as a bridesmaid but because of me she can’t and she can’t even call her a sister because of me.

My MIL told her to apologize and tried to do damage control claiming my SIL was joking but SIL said she’s not joking, she really feels that way, then proceeded to say she loves me as her new SIL she’d just prefer (female ex-friend). I kindly got up and excused myself, saying I’ll head home.

While I was gathering my stuff to leave I also said I’d withdraw as a bridesmaid since I’m not really the one she wanted there and that she should contact (ex-friend) while she still has time and I’ll give her my dress since we are the same size. Fiancé left with me and while leaving he said something along the lines of “you never know when to shut your mouth” to his sister.

MIL justified me walking out, so did my BIL and FIL. They say bride’s words were ridiculous, they tried to convince me to stay as a bridesmaid but respected my wish to walk out. My family on the other hand said I’m the jerk for not sucking it up for one more day and walking away from the role while making the bride stressed. So AITJ??

PS: I still attended the wedding as a guest, bride did not talk to me at all, the groom did and he said I’m right to be upset but he thinks I shouldn’t step down last minute over a joke.”

4 points - Liked by jefe, pamlovesbooks918, leja2 and 2 more

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Justme71 6 months ago
Ntj.. it wasn't a joke at all
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24. AITJ For Defending My Half-Brother Over My Wife's Demands In His Own House?


“I (27M) am the eldest of 5 siblings and married with twin boys. I moved out of my crowded parent’s house after my siblings complained about having to live with kids and moved in with my half-brother, Jack (15), three years ago. Jack lost his father at 11 and has been staying at his childhood home with a paid caretaker.

He was more than happy to let us move in, claiming that the house would be less quiet with us there. My wife and children love living there as the house is fully equipped with the latest technology and there is enough space for our children to run around.

It’s a million-dollar house after all. Jack refuses to accept any kind of payment from me, even for groceries, and insisted that I use the money to save up for a house. I am determined to move out as soon as possible because the thought of me mooching off my younger sibling just doesn’t sit well with me.

So, after three years of saving up, I managed to save enough money for a house down payment. I mentioned this to my wife but she quickly shot down my idea. She suggested that we stayed for a few more years, at least until the kids are old enough because she doesn’t want our kids to experience hardship.

She also added that it’s not like having us stay even longer would create a dent in Jack’s finances and he wouldn’t mind. I began arguing with her and she told me that I am being selfish by wanting to move out of a perfectly good life and drag our child into a life of hardship and poverty.

Yesterday, Jack told me that some of his friends are coming for a sleepover. When the friends came, my wife got angry and shouted at him that he should have asked for her permission first since she is having her family over. I defended my brother and we got into an argument.

It ends with her bursting into tears and screaming at me for being a terrible husband because I choose my brother over her and our children. My in-laws started getting involved and Jack ended up leaving the house with his friends, clearly upset. I demanded my wife to apologize and her reply is what made me snap.

She told me that this is none of her fault and Jack wouldn’t be this rude if he was raised by good people.

Now I am contemplating my marriage with her and honestly I just couldn’t imagine raising my kids with her anymore. But it might just be my emotion talking so I now turn over to strangers for guidance.

AITJ for defending my little brother?

Edit: My mother signed off all her rights on Jack in order to save her marriage and even if she didn’t, she is unfit to raise him. His aunt lives overseas so she hired a live-in caretaker to take care of him. Regarding his financial situation, I will clear up that Jack’s family consists of businessmen and real-estate maniacs. I don’t know much about other stuff but I know that he has inherited a lot as the only living biological grandchild. His family lawyer and his aunt are the ones who manage his inheritance.”

3 points - Liked by shmi, CeeLee and pamlovesbooks918

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rbleah 6 months ago
She is gonna pull this crap IN HIS HOUSE? NO, JUST NO. Your wife has lost ALL OF HER MARBLES if she thinks she can DEMAND ANYTHING IN HIS HOUSE. Maybe you are seeing THE REAL HER. And maybe it is time to reevaluate your relationship. If you divorce then wait until divorced and THEN buy your house. Fight for the kids. Document EVERYTHING so when you go to court the judge can see what she has pulled with your brother AND you.
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23. AITJ For Not Allowing My Friend's Service Dog In My House To Protect My Traumatized Cat?

“I (28F) have a friend (27F) who has a service dog. I’ve always avoided having her over and we go out when we get together or to her place. I love dogs and her service dog is very well-behaved and I have no issues with him. But, I do not want him in my house.

I have a cat that is terrified of dogs. She was rescued from a situation that involved dogs that were very vicious towards her (all the animals were removed from the home and had been severely abused). I was the vet that was involved in removing the animals for welfare issues and treated her for various issues.

She had to be kept in a ward on her own as she was so stressed by other cats and would lose it if she even glimpsed at a dog. I ended up adopting her as my old cat had just passed. She’s gotten better and can now see a dog through windows and hear them barking.

But, being near them still results in aggressive behavior out of fear, and then she’ll hide on top of my fridge for days refusing to come down.

My fiancé and I have tried introducing my cat to his dog before. We couldn’t get past the smell through a door stage and my cat was too scared to then be in the small space the dog was in for weeks.

My fiancé’s dog is very old and we’ve decided not to get married or move in together until his dog passes because neither of us wants to lose our animals or put one through severe stress (which also triggers her asthma).

My friend knows about my cat. Well, I had an accident at work which has left me housebound basically.

My fiancé and a couple of friends have been helping me out. My friend wanted to drop by and talk about something very personal that she’s been dealing with and I’ve been her listening ear. I told her that was fine, but that her dog couldn’t come into the house.

He could go in my fenced backyard but I can’t have him in the house. She got angry and said she needs the dog with her. Of course I understand that, but I can’t leave so either she comes without her dog or we’ll have to wait a few more weeks to talk.

I explained that this was entirely because of my cat. She said I should just lock her up, I said that doesn’t work for my cat. I’ve tried. She said I’m prioritizing the needs of an animal over those of a person and it’s discrimination since it’s a service dog.

I am prioritizing my cat over her, but this is my cat’s home and she deserves to be comfortable here. If I wasn’t laid up in bed I’d talk to her in my yard, but I can’t stand or sit right now for long so I’m stuck in bed or my couch. I feel horrible for not being able to accommodate her, but I also feel responsible for my cat’s well-being and I know having a dog in the house will cause her a lot of distress.”

3 points - Liked by OwnedByCats, pamlovesbooks918 and leja2

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RandomStranger12345 6 months ago
Service animal laws don't allow you to take the animal into a private home where it isn't welcome!

Why can't this needy friend do a video chat, if they really can't be without the dog for that time?
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22. AITJ For Not Taking Care Of Our Daughter Because I Was Burnt Out?

“I (26F) and my husband (27M) have been married 6 years and have a toddler. Since we had her Dec 2019 I have more or less been the sole caretaker, a stay-at-home mom, while he works. After discussing it with him, we can no longer afford to have this set up so I am going back to work.

Granted it is a work-from-home position.

I made it clear to him, that he will have to start helping me (be it around the house with chores or even cooking dinner sometimes which I have been doing all of this alone for almost two years) since it is a full-time job and I will still be somewhat watching our daughter.

Tonight was like the straw that broke the camel’s back. I had cooked dinner and asked him to give our kid a bath so I could relax, finish eating, and have a moment alone. He started the bath and a few moments later sent me a text (so he wasn’t leaving her in the tub alone) if I could come finish her bath, meaning scrub her, rinse, dry, and dress her.

I ultimately give in and go finish her bath.

When I finally got my turn in the shower, I was told to hurry so that I could put her to bed. (He doesn’t put her to bed claiming that she likes me better.)

So I hurry up, get her in bed, and I am exhausted.

She had been sick for the past week and I have a small cold myself. So I’m trying to go to bed and he came stumbling in the room with our two dogs. When I ask who will take them out in the morning because I didn’t want to clean dog pee out of the carpet he said “you’ll be cleaning pee out the carpet either way.” I asked him what did he mean by that and he stormed out of the room to sleep on the couch.

I at that point hit the bottom of my well and can no longer sleep. I get up and fix my daughter a cup of milk I know she will need later in the night. In doing so I pass him in the living room and he asks me if I am okay.

I tell him no, I was mentally done and burnt out. Unable to sleep, I start cleaning. While I’m cleaning the toddler wakes up and is whining and demanding I hold her and put her back down. But when I have a meltdown I can’t stand to be touched.

(Not her fault I know!) So I try. I try and put her back down but I mentally can’t. So she stays up crying. I try to console her but I just mentally am checked out.

Her crying wakes up husband and he gets upset because it is now midnight and he tells me that I’m a jerk and an idiot because I can’t take care of her and he has to be awake for work at 430. He tells me not to even bother coming to bed before slamming the door.

So AITJ for not taking care of my daughter when husband had to be at work early?”

3 points - Liked by shmi, pamlovesbooks918 and leja2

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rbleah 6 months ago
Tell him if he can't be a father to HIS OWN CHILD and is not much of a husband to you what good is he. He might as well head on down the road. You will be doing everything yourself but that sounds like it is nothing new for you.
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21. AITJ For Being Upset My Sister Bought Her Wedding Dress From My Competitor Instead Of Me?


“I have had a difficult relationship with my older sister for years, she is my half-sister, and due to a strained relationship with our mum, I have struggled with our relationship for years. At times we have come together to support each other when our mum has been unreasonable, and at times we have clashed because I have seen how she has hurt our mum.

My mum has done a lot over the years to help us both, and a number of years ago, my mum bought her a house, but they ended up arguing a lot about it, and the family has been largely no contact with her, but since 2020 I had been talking to her more and getting closer to her, which had caused arguments with our mum.

During the health crisis, I lost my job, moved house, and decided to open a Bridal Store in our city. My sister has also become engaged to her long-term partner, which we were all really excited about and happy about, who doesn’t love a wedding?

We had previously discussed wedding dresses, and she had tried one on before she got engaged, and once she got engaged, I told her there was no rush as she isn’t getting married until 2023 and we would wait for the new season gowns to arrive before looking.

She found a dress that she loved, and told me she was booking an appointment to try it on, this was a gown that I could order for her from one of my designers, I didn’t think much of it. (I had offered her any dress at cost price, and she had not tried any gowns on with me since she got engaged.)

A few weeks ago, I got a phone call from her where she told me she really didn’t like the dress she went to try, but she tried on other gowns and eventually spent over £2,000 on a wedding dress.

I told her on the phone I couldn’t talk as I was busy. The store she bought from is one of my biggest competitors.

I was really upset, and felt really disappointed; this is a brand new business and my own sister doesn’t want to buy from me. The more I thought about it, the more I realized I was disappointed that she hadn’t even given me the respect to come to me, and she went to the other store and bought her dress on a whim.

There is no time pressure or any particular reason. I was, and well over a month later I get really upset when I think about it. I don’t want to go to her wedding or have any involvement in her wedding now.

As time has gone on, I have thought that it could be because she wouldn’t want my mum to be involved as she is still no contact and I don’t really see that changing.

I respect and understand her decision, but I have personally decided life is better with mum and dealing with her sometimes challenging behavior.

Our family has varied opinions as to whether I am right to want nothing to do with the wedding and whether I am overreacting. I honestly don’t think I am, but maybe I am the jerk for getting so upset over a wedding dress.”

3 points - Liked by pamlovesbooks918, leja2, CJ777 and 2 more

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LilVicky 6 months ago
NTJ that was kind of trashy of your sister
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20. AITJ For Refusing To Attend My Sister's Wedding At A Homophobic Church?


“So, to start, I (15nby) am refusing to go to my sister’s (26f) wedding.

This is going to be hard to write. I love my sister, I think she’s great, and I feel kind of bad for doing this, but I just can’t put up with what is going on.

Basically, the other day, my sister invited me and my family to go to her wedding. It’s been in the works for a while now, however the location of the wedding has been, let’s just say, a big problem for their planning. They had a lot of trouble finding a place to have their wedding, be it due to restrictions, the place canceling on her, etc., etc.

Well, when we opened our invitation, the location the marriage is going to take place is actually at a church. A church me and my family used to be a part of. This is where the problem arises. This church was incredibly homophobic to me when I came out as gay (and subsequently when I came out as boyflux), and we left on horrible terms.

My parents didn’t see any problem with this, however, I did.

So, I promptly texted my sister and told her that I would not be coming due to where the wedding was being held. She told me that nobody from the church would be at the church, which I doubted, but even if that was the case, I don’t feel comfortable being in that building.

Funnily enough, my sister was actually understanding and told me that if I wanted, I could join her, my parents, and the rest of our immediate family at Olive Garden, if I wanted, for the reception (The wedding is going to be small anyways, so it makes sense she wants the reception to just be our immediate family).

I agreed to this, and said I would love to go with them to the reception, I just wouldn’t be there for the actual wedding portion. My parents happened to walk in on me as I was typing this, and THEY were the ones to go off on me.

They said “You’re too selfish to be at your sister’s wedding?” and “All because some people there were nasty to you?” (Mind you, they were nasty to my parents, as well). I lost it. I told them that they were horrible people, I packed my stuff, and I stayed at my friend’s house for the night.

Now, I am back at my house, writing this, and they are still mad at me, trying to say I have to go, etc… So, Am I the Jerk?”

3 points - Liked by pamlovesbooks918, leja2, ahpu and 1 more

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rbleah 6 months ago
NOT THE JERK. This is between you and your sister.
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19. AITJ For Moving Out After Being Treated Poorly Despite Supporting My Family?

“My (20F) mom (41F) was going through a rough patch this last year. My fiancé (20M) and I decided to move in with her to help pay rent. The house was offered to her at $200 a month by my great uncle but she was only working part time and my fiancé and I and our two dogs needed a place to stay.

She moved my younger brother (16M) in, who is and has been a total jerk. He’s lazy, never cleans up after himself, and treats my mother terribly. Soon after, she moves my younger sister (15F) in, both without asking or talking to me because it’s ‘her house’ when I pay most of the bills.

Sister is always yelling and asking for stuff.

Anyways, the house needed a lot of work. My mom got into a bad wreck and was in the hospital for a month. During this time, I stayed there and had the house rewired, fixed the shower, sink, stove, washer dryer, put a wood stove in, bought firewood, built her a ramp, and cleaned the house spotless.

I paid for it all. My siblings stayed there and I cared for them and they treated me like garbage. Blasting music all day (I’m night shift), making noise, not cleaning up after themselves, etc. Right before the wreck I was about to move out and get my first home and try for a baby, but I wanted to help my mom.

When mom finally comes back from the hospital the only thing she says is that the house stinks. No thank you, nothing. Situation keeps getting worse. I’m the only one with a car, so I get food and whatever. I pay everything still but my fiancé and I are getting fed up.

One day, I messaged my brother’s partner to let her know that the girl he was unfaithful with is still at my house a lot. She tells him and he goes off on me while my mom sits and watches. Saying they don’t need me and all I do is complain, I never did anything for them, they would be so much better if I was gone, blah blah blah.

I turn to my mom and ask if that is what she thinks and she shrugs at me.

We move out two days later, but I can’t help but feel guilty. My mom is still in a wheelchair and I don’t trust my siblings to look after her but she just let them treat me like garbage.

She always talked about it being her house and they can say what they want but if I did the same to them, I’d be out of a home. I just really love my mom and it breaks my heart to think about her being stuck there with no help in her wheelchair but I couldn’t take it anymore. So, am I the jerk?”

3 points - Liked by shmi, pamlovesbooks918 and leja2

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rbleah 6 months ago
YOU ARE NOT THE JERK. Take your SO and get out of there. If mom needs help then she can apply for aid and inhome care as well. IT IS NOT YOUR JOB to take care of people that DON'T GIVE A jerk ABOUT YOU.
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18. AITJ For Demanding Payment From My Absentee Dad For Taking Care Of His Dog?


“My (17m) dad (36M) is a single dad, when I was 10 he basically ditched me at my grandparents, took me again at 11, and ditched me again at 13, this time with his dog, Dogllar (I call her Lar) who’s a husky. He swore he’d come back for us but he never did.

Lar’s a great dog I’m not gonna lie, but a husky is a lot of work, and plus that I don’t really like dogs, they take too much time, they’re all over you, and if a normal dog is already a lot of work a husky is 10000x worse.

She was too attached when he left us both so I decided to keep her, I feed her, clean after her, play with her and let her sleep in my room, comb her dog hair and walk her, the only things I don’t do are vet visits and bathe her but my uncle (29M) helps me with that because; 1.

No money for vet visits, 2. Not enough patience to give a hairy husky a bath.

Two years ago my grandma gifted me a kitten I named Milo, Lar and him get along pretty well and I take pride in saying that while I’m young and don’t really like dogs, I take good care of my pets, but a year after that someone hit Milo with their car and injured him really bad.

He was at risk of not being able to walk anymore, my uncle didn’t have the money for the surgery and nor did my grandpa. I was so scared and didn’t know what to do, so I called my dad crying just because I wanted to feel him there with me, and to my surprise, he gave me the $500 for the surgery.

I shouldn’t have let him give it to me. To this day, he holds that money over my head and I can’t pay him. I just can’t, even with my job I’m not able to do it. He came yesterday yelling at me and said to give him his money back, that I was a jerk for calling him crying, and that he needed the money.

I was so fed up that I said ”Okay, I’ll give you the $500 but before you have to pay me for taking care of your dog these last three years.” He said ”Okay! How much I owe you boy?” and doing the math (The average salary for a dog caretaker is $12/h) he owes me 13K because I took care of her 24/7/365.

He left the house enraged after I said ”take your money off of that and keep the rest” and my grandma told me that I shouldn’t have done that because I was mocking my dad and that because at the end of the day I kept Lar and I said that I was 13 and I wasn’t gonna abandon a dog in the street.”

3 points - Liked by shmi, pamlovesbooks918 and leja2

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rbleah 6 months ago
Please don't listen to grandma this time. Your SPERM DONOR has NO HONOR. I think what you did was GREAT. Good for you for standing up for yourself since NOONE will do it for you looks like.
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17. AITJ For Kicking My Dad And His Wife Out Of My House After They Named Their Twins After My Deceased Siblings?

“My (27f) younger brother, sister, and mom passed away in an accident 8 years ago. My father (52m) and I used to be very close before this but we’ve drifted apart since then. I think some of it has to do with the fact I look a lot like my younger sister.

She was always close to my dad and we would often joke she would take care of him when he got older. My father also isn’t really a “believer” in therapy and refuses to go. When I started going to therapy a few months after the accident, he said that I should be stronger and quote “stop giving people the satisfaction of seeing you weak”.

He remarried two years ago, his new wife and I don’t get along. Some things she’s done include telling my father not to invite me to the wedding, telling him I was bullying her children because I refused to let them have an unsupervised party at my beach house and I also told them they can get out if they continued to treat the staff disrespectfully.

Her kids were 18F and 17M at the time. When she married my dad she was also under the impression that the money he spent on her and the house he lived in was his (he never said it was, she just assumed). My mom left me a nice amount in her will and I used it to invest and also work in the tech field so I’m well off.

However, considering my age I don’t think she was expecting this and I don’t think she was very pleased either.

Onto the issue:

At their gender reveal party (they are expecting a boy and a girl) my dad announced they will be naming the kids after my deceased siblings. I’m shocked and I interrupt to tell him that naming the twins after my siblings is weird.

His wife tells me to stop being jealous. At this point I’m upset I ignore her and tell my dad that he would always stick up for me in the past yet lets his wife belittle me now, how hurt I was he didn’t invite me to his wedding, how he never once said he was proud of me or even a thank you or I love you after I bought this house for him.

And basically said that if my siblings were here they’d be disappointed in him and ashamed to call him dad since he’s been a pretty poor one so far.

My father told me to get out of his house and as I am about to leave his wife comes up to me and I kid you not says “don’t let the door hit your backside on the way out”.

So I walk back in tell my dad that he and his wife had a month to leave my house. Well wife started crying, dad said I was pathetic and her family has been messaging me telling me to apologize. But my friends, and family on both my mom’s and dad’s side agree with me although they think I should let my dad stay and kick wife out however I want both out. I get that I acted a bit emotionally and I am starting to feel bad for stressing a pregnant woman. So AITJ?”

3 points - Liked by pamlovesbooks918, leja2, ahpu and 1 more

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DAZY7477 6 months ago
Nope. Your dad abandoned you and treated you like dirt after what you had done for him. Kick them out!
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16. AITJ For Defending My Daughter's Diet Against My Mom's Accusations?

“I (37M) am a stay-at-home Dad, caring for my daughter (1) full time while my wife (38) works.

This morning, to clear some leftovers, I made my wife and I breakfast tacos, with corn tortillas, eggs, and a tiny bit of mango salsa. I then prepared one for my daughter, which was just mostly a single taco tortilla, eggs, and cheese.

She enjoyed about 2/3 of it, which had maybe a teaspoon of shredded cheese before she was done with it and we fed her some grapes and apple chunks.

Sent a picture of her eating it to my parents, and immediately I get a message of “that’s too much sodium for a child” from my mom.

I reply back with a “?” because that seemed odd, and my mom types back this amazingly long diatribe about how bad it is for a child to have sodium and too much processed food (which, yes, I agree with) and that that I grew up with only pure foods or foods she made for me herself, and that’s what my daughter should have as well.

I call her and ask her where this is coming from, as I checked the labels of what I used to make the taco for my daughter and it literally comes out to less sodium than she gets from an 8oz bottle of formula (total of about 100mg) and she tells me she knows I am feeding her wrong because I have sent pictures of her having a bit of frozen pizza and delivered food, and that she knows I have too much canned food in the house.

I point out to her that since we moved into this apartment, we have only ordered in once, and bought a frozen pizza 2 times in nearly 6 months, and the only pre-made food she gets regularly is from a baby food jar of some vegetable/fruit mix, and of the canned food she was present with that I purchased, nearly 80% of it is still in my cupboards.

My freezer right now has 8 bags of frozen vegetables, frozen chicken, some Impossible Meat Sausage, and that’s it.

The vast majority of my daughter’s diet comes from frozen vegetables and fruit we have in the house, with veggies like carrots, onions, potatoes, and broccoli often cooked with chicken/rice dishes I make myself.

When I do make something different for the parents, I let my daughter have a bit so she gets used to the flavors/textures of it, but something like breakfast tacos happens super rarely; it’s just I will send pictures of her eating a “new” food rather than “here is her eating mashed potatoes and corn again”.

I asked her what my daughter ate all this week and then my mom started blustering as she realized she had no idea, and I told her if she was going to accuse me of not feeding my child properly she better very well know what I’m feeding her every meal, then told her the discussion was over and hung up.

My mom then tried to play “bite at me because I care, I see you just think I’m stupid and don’t know what I’m talking about” which is her go-to “pity me” when she knows she has lost an argument. I’ve refused to talk to her all day and my dad said I was too harsh on her.


3 points - Liked by shmi, pamlovesbooks918, leja2 and 1 more

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rbleah 6 months ago
QUIT JUSTIFYING YOUR SELF TO THE BUSY BODY. Just tell her that you are raising your child and SHE IS NOT. Then tell her she needs to back off and MIND HER OWN BUSINESS. And that you and your wife are doing what YOU THINK BEST for YOUR DAUGHTER. Anytime she starts to say something just say NO and walk away/hang up on her. MAYBE she will get the message. If she won't stop tell her until she can learn SHE IS NOT IN CONTROL you will distance yourselves from her until she learns this lesson. I realize SHE THINKS she is helping BUT SHE IS NOT. All she is doing is causing stress for you. NOW AS FOR YOU? GROW UP AND PUT YOUR FOOT DOWN AS AN ADULT.
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15. AITJ For Refusing To Financially Help My Sister After She Mismanaged Her Inheritance?

“I, a 30-year-old female, and my sister, a 34-year-old female, inherited my mother’s house upon her passing. We sold it and split the proceeds in half.

In my opinion, my sister spent her share unwisely. She put her perfectly capable kids in private schools, even though public school was a free option and she could’ve saved money.

She also contributed a significant sum to her friend’s wedding, which was not necessary. Additionally, she bought expensive gifts for her friends when she could’ve saved money for her husband, who’s dealing with a chronic disease that’s recently worsened.

I kept my inheritance so my husband and I could start the business we’ve always dreamed of owning – a diner.

However, my sister started complaining about not having enough funds to afford her husband’s upcoming surgery. She can’t take out loans due to existing debts she needs to pay. She tried asking for the money I have, but I said I was sorry but can’t help.

She resorted to sending me pictures and videos of my brother-in-law in the hospital to show me how real their struggle is, which caught me off guard.

For the past two months, she’s been sending pics/videos of him either sleeping in the hospital or complaining of pain. They were hard to see and it affected my mental health. I don’t even know whether he’s consenting to these pics and videos or not.

Days ago, my sister sent a video of him being sick from a distance, and she was pleading in the background, urging me to help her out.

I lost my appetite for lunch after what I saw, and my husband said I should just block her now because this counts as harassment. But when I brought this up with my relatives, they asked me to be more sympathetic to what my sister’s going through with her sick husband.

They vented about how she’s been dealt a bad hand in life, completely ignoring the emotional distress I’m feeling after she kept sending me those pics and videos, making me feel incredibly guilty. They kept asking me to understand her frustration and suggested that I should help her pay for the upcoming procedure since I have the means.

But I had an argument with them about how she basically put herself in this situation by not being careful with money. I said that those pics/videos are the result of her own irresponsibility, but I got berated since that made my sister break down. It also made me seem like a cruel person who refuses to help family out, and I might be shunned by my family.

It’s all super stressful. Thus, I lashed out. Yes, I do have money and I feel guilty, but my husband said my sister’s problems aren’t ours to figure out, which seemed kind of biased of him since he wants us to open up the diner so badly.”

3 points - Liked by OwnedByCats, shmi and pamlovesbooks918

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rbleah 6 months ago
Tell her NO. Then tell all the relatives that are trying to hammer YOU that if they are so concerned about her THEN THEY CAN PONY UP THE FUNDS. Then BLOCK THEM. This money IS YOURS to do with WHAT YOU WANT TO DO. She squandered hers and now she wants to squander YOURS TOO? NO NO JUST NO. You have your own family to worry about. DO NOT GIVE IN TO HER. PERIOD.
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14. AITJ For Letting My Daughter Move In With Me After She Learned Her Mom Trapped Me Into Parenthood?

“Context: My ex-wife Stacy and I (37M) met at a party in college and hit it off. We were in a relationship for 3 years during College. During the relationship, I made it clear I didn’t want kids. Right after we graduated, Stacy got pregnant (She said it was caused by birth control failure, this is important for later).

I didn’t want the child and tried to convince her to terminate the pregnancy or give the baby up for adoption. She wanted to raise the kid. I really wanted to leave but felt guilty. I married her out of guilt.

After our daughter Madison was born, I started getting depressed.

I became dependent on booze. I tried really hard to be a good dad to her, I really tried my best. When she was 5, I realized how much I hated my life. I filed for divorce and left. I made sure to always pay child support. I still loved Madison, I just couldn’t be a good parent to her at the time.

I stayed in Chicago for a bit but eventually moved to Canada for a job. Still, I felt like I had no purpose, I was still depressed and I was still drinking. I was in a pretty dark place, I lived in my car for 3 months. Then, I met my current wife Amanda (33F) and we started seeing each other.

She cared about me, and I started getting my life back on track. I left my toxic job, found a good apartment, started going to AA meetings, and started seeing a therapist. During this time I contacted Stacy and asked to see Madison, I begged and showed her that I was sober but she wouldn’t let me.

I tried several times, but Stacy wouldn’t let me.

I started a business 6 years ago, and it’s done incredibly well in the last 3 years. It pulled in 3M in profit last year. Amanda and I got married. I was finally able to hire a good attorney and after a complicated legal battle, I was given holidays and summers with Madison.

Madison was a little difficult at first, but I explained everything to her, and she was really understanding. Madison (15F) and I have a really good relationship.

I have tried to co-parent respectfully with Stacy, but she has been really difficult to communicate with (She doesn’t tell me about certain matters, she sends threatening voicemails, etc).

I also know that Stacy told some pretty bad stuff about me to Madison. Stacy told Madison I loved booze more than her, that I never sent them any money, despite the fact I never missed a payment.

Two days ago, Madison called me and told me that she and her mother had a fight, and her mother admitted that she stopped taking BC intentionally to trap me.

Madison said that this was the last straw with her mom and that she wants to move in with me. Madison said her mom was always mad at her for mentioning me, and that she forced her to share the stuff I got her with her stepsiblings and begged me to let her move in. I obviously agreed. Legally since she is 15, she can choose who to live with.

My ex, her husband, and her family have been blowing up my phone telling me that I alienated Madison against her.


3 points - Liked by shmi, pamlovesbooks918, leja2 and 1 more

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rbleah 6 months ago
NOPE, EX SHOULD NOT HAVE LIED TO YOUR DAUGHTER. END OF DISCUSSION. Hopefully you and your wife and daughter can have a good relationship now.
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13. AITJ For Refusing To Give Up My Pre-Purchased Movie Seats To A Rude Lady And Her Kids?


“I took my kid to the movie today to see SING. We pre-purchased our tickets online as required, & scored some good seats where we like in the middle of the theater.

We arrive just as the previews are starting only to find people sitting in our seats. Mind you, it’s a jampacked theatre and we’re already standing on people’s toes, so I politely ask the lady in my seats, “Excuse me.

I think you’re in our seats.”

The woman points at the people in the seats next to ours and says, “We’re all together.” I politely told her, “Ok, but you’re in our seats.” I felt bad because we’re blocking the row & she and her 2 kids are comfortably seated.

I’m half wondering if someone is in the wrong theater because it’s so jam-packed.

Now she’s acting all annoyed like I’m disturbing her. She points to the front of the theatre, insinuating I go sit there. If these were ANYTHING BUT the worst seats in the house I would have done so just because I’m nice like that, but it was literally the 3 seats on the very end of the front row.

“Sorry. But we’d like our seats.” She’s basically ignoring me, periodically looking up annoyed like, “Why are you still here?” So I’M getting upset and say, “No, Ma’am. I purchased THESE seats. THIS is where I want to sit.” Now her friend starts chiming in, “The kids want to sit together.

Can’t you switch?”

“No. If I wanted to sit in the front row I would have bought those.”

Finally they get up all mad & her kid is crying & I’m thinking to myself, “What am I apologizing for? I didn’t do anything wrong?” As she busts past me she says, “Maybe you should apologize to my kids.”

I was flabbergasted.

But they FINALLY moved & we sat down in OUR seats so I thought that was the end of it. A few mins later she’s back kneeled down in front of me attempting to guilt me again.

“Hey, I’m sorry the kids just really want to sit together. They’ve been looking forward to this bla bla bla.”

Because I’m a compassionate person I almost felt bad, but at the same time I’m thinking, “No! These are the seats I picked out too.

Why should my kids suffer for this rude lady to accommodate her kids?”

I told her, “Sorry. If your seats were anywhere BUT the front row I’d gladly trade, but not today.”

She proceeds to sit there crouched down in front of me with this dumb expression as if she expects me to suddenly realize I’m the jerk and change my mind.

I repeated firmly, “NO WE WILL NOT BE MOVING SEATS.” Then she says, “Wow. Just wow,” throws her hands up in this indignant shrug, and says to her friend, “Unbelievable!”

It was awkward so I’m avoiding eye contact. Then in a final harrumph this lady gets in my face and says, “Karma is real! Happy New Year Jerk!” and stomps off.

If I wasn’t literally sitting next to my kids I would have lit this lady up, but instead I just kind of laughed and reassured my kids that everything was OK and to enjoy the movie. They did, but I couldn’t enjoy myself because she made such a big deal I was left second-guessing — AITJ?”

3 points - Liked by shmi, pamlovesbooks918, leja2 and 1 more

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rbleah 6 months ago
Just like airplane seats, YOU PAID FOR THOSE SEATS and they can go pound sand. They should have bought all the seats together if they wanted to sit together. Too bad for her. You PAID FOR THE SEATS YOU WANTED.
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12. AITJ For Exposing My Sister-in-Law's Secret Pregnancy Test Found In My Bathroom?

“I (F32) was accused by my SiL (F34) (technically my brother’s fifteen year long on and off again partner) of “breaking girl code” because I didn’t claim ownership of her pregnancy test.

Last Saturday, I hosted a family get-together. At the end of the night, I went to use my personal bathroom, which is through my bedroom and has previously been off limits since there are two other bathrooms for guests to use and found a positive pregnancy test sitting on top of my tampon box.

I might have kept quiet about it honestly if my previously diagnosed with depression, anxiety, and acute paranoia husband wasn’t in the process of switching medications and hadn’t gotten a vasectomy two years ago. I showed him it, and after a good bit of conversation, he was convinced I had no clue what was going on.

He is nowhere near where he was when he got diagnosed, but this could have sent him spiraling if he had found it before me.

So, I was mad and got on the family chat with a picture and asked if someone was attempting to be funny. My mom hopped on immediately and stated it wasn’t hers (hysterectomy almost 25 years ago, haha mom) which started the rest of the women chiming in with how it can’t be theirs.

All except this particular SiL. Who texted later and suggested it was maybe one of my older niece’s test. The group chat got quiet after that that night.

Wednesday, my BiL sent a text to the chat asking if we got the mystery solved, which started a whole conversation about how those with old enough girls determined it didn’t belong to their daughter.

During that, this SiL texted me directly and explained how she didn’t want my brother finding out about the baby until she had decided to keep the pregnancy and how to announce it to him if she did, so she took the test and hid it in my house.

I told her she knew our situation with my husband’s vasectomy and his medicine shift, this was a terrible thing to do to us right now and not to mention my nieces have all appeared to have been talked to because of her, why not just do it real quick in a gas station bathroom or something.

Before she answered me, I sent a text to the group and said mystery solved. She then private messaged me asking that I pretend it was a test left over from my pregnancy (not believable btw, my tests are in a shadow box in my living room along with all the other pregnancy items) but by that point everyone in the group chat had figured out the only person left it could be.

She then sent a long message to the group asking if we felt good “ruining her plans” and a private message to me saying I broke “girl code” and should have just ditched the test somewhere my husband couldn’t find (which she also could have done?) And she just wasted $100 on her surprise for my brother. She hasn’t answered any of us yet, my brother said she’s still cussing all of us but he’s just embarrassed with how everything went down.”

2 points - Liked by shmi, pamlovesbooks918 and leja2

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rbleah 6 months ago
First WTH was she doing in YOUR PERSONAL BATHROOM? Second she is MORE than willing to let YOUR HUSBAND have an medical episode that will hurt him? And you? THERE IS NO GIRL CODE that allows her to possibly DAMAGE someone else. Tell her if she comes back to your house she MUST STAY OUT OF YOUR PERSONAL SPACE and you don't trust her anymore. Then tell her WHY she is such a witch with NO EMPATHY FOR ANYBODY ELSE. It is ALL FOR HER that she is worried about. As for you, maybe step back a bit from her. And she better APOLOGIZE BIG TIME to not only YOU but YOUR HUSBAND as well.
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11. AITJ For Refusing To Cook For My Neighbours After They Criticized My Cooking?


“My neighbors are distant relatives of our family, so we have a good relationship with them. They are a family of three, an aunt, an uncle, and a little girl (let’s call her S) who’s practically like a little sister to me. I love to cook and I always cook or bake something every day.

My parents came to my house to visit, so my aunt and uncle asked if I can cook so that we can have lunch together at my home. I said okay and spent half a day cooking and everyone came to my house but my uncle brought his own plate to eat.

I was weirded out and asked my aunt why. She said he only eats from his plate so he takes it everywhere. While eating, my aunt said the rice was undercooked and my uncle said it was overcooked (yes, they contradicted each other) and tried to make S say something bad about the food but she was so embarrassed (I think) and yelled at them that the food is good and then my uncle refused to eat the chicken because I would’ve added butter to it.

I know he doesn’t like dairy products so I specifically made this with oil and didn’t use anything related to dairy (he’s not allergic or vegan he just doesn’t like dairy products) so my mum convinced him that she was there while I was cooking and I didn’t add anything other than oil.

After 10 minutes of this he skeptically decided to eat. I was really annoyed at this incident and my mum convinced me not to say anything at that time. So I let it slide (mostly because of S).

After two weeks of this incident, I was going out grocery shopping when my aunt and uncle saw me and asked if I could make chicken and we could have dinner together.

I just politely said that they didn’t like my cooking last time so I’m not doing it. They said no, we didn’t like the fried chicken so this time you can make gravy or something because S liked my chicken better. I firmly said no I’m not cooking for them today and went on my way.

They had called my parents and said I was disrespectful and a selfish jerk to them because they offered to buy the ingredients (they did offer) and all I had to do was to cook because S liked it. Here’s where I was maybe the jerk, I was really angry and went straight to them and told them I won’t cook anything for them anymore even if it’s for S. So now I don’t talk to them and this has affected S very much since she used to hang out with me every single day. So AITJ for refusing to cook?”

2 points - Liked by pamlovesbooks918, leja2 and LilVicky

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rbleah 6 months ago
They don't get to talk crap about your cooking and THEN want you to feed them again? NO NO JUST NO NOT THE JERK
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10. AITJ For Not Wanting To Plan My Estranged Husband's Funeral?


“My husband and I married in 2018 after being together for almost 2 years. Shortly after getting married my mother got sick so we moved out of state so that I could care for her. He was not too happy about this but he moved with me. He didn’t like the new state we were in and he quickly stopped working and providing for our household.

It got to the point where I was working 2 jobs and still caring for my mother and I was fed up. I told him that I couldn’t carry on like this. He told me that he never wanted to move in the first place and that he would be on the first flight back home.

He told me he would leave the one car we had as a “parting gift” when in reality I was the one paying the car note and insurance. He left the state and I filed for a legal separation.

The state I was in required that you are separated for a year before you could officially file.

I waited my time and tried to get the papers sent to his mother’s house, the place I knew he was because I have family that told me that’s where he was. He claims he never received them. My mother got better and I decided to stay because I had found a really great job that turned into an actual career.

I tried on 4 different occasions to have him served papers but he always dodged me. I got so discouraged that I gave up.

I’ve completely moved on and I want to start anew with someone else but this is just looming over me. I was in the process of getting a lawyer when I got a call from his aunt saying that he has passed away and basically it’s up to me to plan the funeral arrangements.

I feel like this is nonsense this man left me and even had a child with another woman and I’m expected to foot the bill because I’m legally married to him even though I tried multiple times to end it. Am I the jerk for not wanting to be a part of any of it? His family wants a burial and if this is something I have to do I will cremate him and have his family do what they want with the ashes. I don’t care if they want a burial they don’t wanna pay for it. Thanks in advance for the advice.”

2 points - Liked by pamlovesbooks918 and leja2

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rbleah 6 months ago
File papers with the court that he left you xx time ago and tried to file for divorce and he hid every time you tried to have him served. See what the court makes you do. IF they tell you it is on you then CREMATE HIM AND HAVE THE CREMATORY SEND THE ASHES TO THEM. End of story. Go the CHEAPEST you can go.
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9. AITJ For Having My Dad's Neighbor's Car Towed From His Driveway?


“Three years ago my (30M) sister (36F) and I had the opportunity to get our dad (62M) a house that was close to us after our mom passed away. Before her passing he used to be this funny, friendly and happy guy who was always making jokes and was the sunshine of our lives, but with all due reasons after my mom died he became sad and lonely.

He cried almost every day and it hurt our hearts to see him like that. We lived in the next city for work and we begged him to please come with us. He refused at first because leaving the family home hurt him more than living in it, but after a while he agreed.

He chose a small house just for him and his pets. We didn’t rent him an apartment because he’s just… not that kind of guy. He has a 2016 Aveo that doesn’t drive that much right now but from time to time he likes to go back to our hometown and just spend the day in the places he and my mom used to go.

Problem with this is that he can last a month or so without moving the car (he uses it more during Oct-Dec because it was my mom’s favorite time of the year) and thus his neighbors (a 25-ish?? married couple) uses his driveway because the dude owns 4 cars and doesn’t have the space.

My dad doesn’t have that much of a problem since he leaves his car in the garage and told me that whenever he needs to get it out he just calls the girl and she moves the other one, until a few months ago when apparently the girl is nowhere to be found and the guy is home all day.

He had asked him a few times to please move the car and the dude just says ”yeah, sure” and takes an hour or two to do so and my dad can’t drive it because it’s already too dark for him to see.

Yesterday I went to visit him and he wanted to take me to see some sports cars (idk, he’s like a child) that he found next to a park, like those public car showups?? I’m not sure, he wanted to drive his car but the neighbor had his in my dad’s driveway and so he went to ask him to please move it.

He said yes but after 30 min of not seeing him my dad explained to me the above and I said ”no problem” and called someone to get it towed.

The dude obviously freaked out when he saw what was happening and asked what was I doing, apparently the dude doesn’t have the right documentation for the car and can’t get it back because he doesn’t have the funds, he’s calling me a jerk and while my dad doesn’t agree with him he doesn’t agree with me too. But man, my dad was doing him a favor and he acted like an entitled jerk. However, if I was wrong in my acting I’m willing to say sorry and get him his stuff back.”

2 points - Liked by pamlovesbooks918 and leja2

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rbleah 6 months ago
He was abusing your dad by denying your dad being able to come and go as dad pleases. That guy is the jerk NOT YOU. Tell him from now on NO MORE OF HIS CARS ON DAD'S PROPERTY since he has NO MANNERS.
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8. AITJ For Uncovering A Family Secret With An AncestryDNA Test?

“I (32F) decided I wanted to know more about my genealogy, so I signed up for Ancestry and an AncestryDNA test.

I took the DNA test, and after I got my results, a man, Henry, reached out to me saying that we were a high DNA match on my dad’s side – he was either my dad’s cousin or his brother (my uncle) – and that he had been adopted as a baby and was trying to learn about his birth family.

Based on info he had, it seemed likely that he was the child of either my grandma or one of her sisters.

I asked my family if anyone knew whose son Henry is. I asked my grandma, her sisters, my dad’s sisters, nobody would admit to knowing. I understand that it’s a delicate situation, but I expressed that there was no judgment for whoever had put him up for adoption and that Henry has a great life, and wasn’t looking for anything other than knowledge of his family & their medical history.

In an effort to help this guy, since nobody would talk, I asked my dad to take the DNA test, so we’d know if Henry was his brother or his cousin. When it came back, the DNA match was very high, my dad and Henry are half-brothers.

While we were finding all this out, my grandma had gotten really sick.

We were looking at a matter of weeks left with her. So when my dad got the DNA results, he decided NOT to bring them up to her. He didn’t want to cause stress during the last part of her life, so he told Henry he’d tell him whatever he wanted to know about the family, but that he’d be leaving his mom out of it.

Henry understood.

BUT, my dad was torn about whether or not to tell his sisters that they have a half-brother. They had a good relationship, and he figured they deserved to know, so he called both his sisters and told them what we’d found out. His older sister, Lisa, took the news slightly better, seemed pretty calm about it, thanked my dad for letting her know and said she wasn’t sure if she wanted to meet Henry, now or ever.

But his younger sister, Kara, FREAKED out. Told my dad that he had “ruined the image she had of her mother,” hung up on him and hasn’t spoken to him since. He told both sisters please to not mention it to their mom, he didn’t want to be stirring up ancient history while she was on her deathbed.

They both agreed.

Lisa turned around and IMMEDIATELY told my grandma that they all knew about their half-brother. My grandma called my dad a selfish jerk for bringing this up when she was dying, telling him that he was a horrible person for changing how Kara and Lisa see her.

This is the last conversation she had with my dad before passing. My dad is BROKEN, and his sisters are not speaking to him. They blame him, even though it was Lisa who brought the news up to Grandma. They are also angry with me for starting the drama in the first place, by taking the DNA test and trying to help Henry find out who his birth mom is.

So, AITJ?”

2 points - Liked by pamlovesbooks918, leja2 and ahpu

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rbleah 6 months ago
So your dad is a jerk because he let loose a secret that your grandma LIED ABOUT THEIR ENTIRE LIVES? She and her daughters are being witches. Why would you NOT share what you found out? My fam is sharing EVERYTHING.
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7. AITJ For Refusing To Move Back Home After My Parents Kicked Me Out?

“I (20F) am living with my parents and trying to move out for the past year but have never found a good time to tell them. They were too busy or not happy that day. I’m the 2nd oldest of 7, I work 50hrs, take care of kids and the home, and try to have friends.

I argue with them when I want to go out, don’t want to do something with family, or want to be alone.

One week was exhausting for me and I needed a break. They wanted me to work out with them, something we like to do as a family. I was sore already and was going to work all weekend so I said no.

They said I had no choice and I said: no I do have a choice I’m not doing it. My mom took my phone, which I own completely, and said I was disrespectful, disobedient, and have to do what they say because they’re my parents. When they finished working out they talked to me.

I said the same thing. They still weren’t happy and said I was disrespectful and I have to listen to them. I just kept saying the same thing. When my older brother (27) got there I told him what happened and when the argument started back up, he jumped in and called them out for not respecting what I asked, and just stood up for me.

That made them more mad. They said he had no place saying anything and told him to leave and not come back. My dad turned to me, asked me why he would do that and I said he repeated everything I already told you and you guys weren’t listening to me, he stood up for me.

My dad grabbed my keys, threw them at me and said you don’t have a job, I work for them, and don’t come home then he left. My mom wouldn’t let me leave and took my keys from me, I own this vehicle completely. I called my brother from a work phone and asked him to pick me up and I left.

We went to his place and were there for a few hours when my mom showed up and begged me to come back home. At first, I said no, I was kicked out. But she kept begging, so I said I’ll only come to get my phone and my keys but I’m not staying because dad kicked me out and we argued more but finally she agreed.

I got my things and went to leave. But my mom stopped me and asked for five more minutes to talk and I said no that’s not what we had agreed on and she kept begging so I agreed. We talked but went back to the same argument and I spent an hour trying to leave.

I had tried to walk out but she blocked me. Then my dad came out and told me I can’t leave. I said yes I can you kicked me out. He then apologized and said I didn’t mean it, I was mad at your brother. I said that’s not ok I really don’t wanna stay here anymore I’m gonna go I’ll come back to talk in a couple of days.

I need to think and figure out exactly what I want. Finally, my dad let me go.

But then the next day was my little brother’s baseball game and I went to watch. Both my parents talked to me. My dad said I understand if you don’t want to work for me anymore I don’t blame you but please think about it. My mom begged me to come back home and I said I don’t think that’s gonna happen I really need space.

AITJ for not wanting to go back at all?

ADD ON: I have been staying with my brother and am actively applying to apartments.”

2 points - Liked by pamlovesbooks918 and leja2

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rbleah 6 months ago
You might want to look into getting a job somewhere else as well as an apartment of your own. Good luck and DON'T LET THEM SUCK YOU BACK IN. Don't go into their house again. BUT if you do and they WON'T let you leave just remind them that holding someone captive is ILLEGAL and they can be ARRESTED AND CHARGED FOR IT. Tell them that you are an adult and will be making your own choices from now on and THEY HAVE NO CONTROL OVER YOU.
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6. AITJ For Feeling Hurt After My Best Friend Didn't Invite Me To Her Birthday Party?


“I (20F) have a best friend named Chelsey (21F). We’ve been best friends since we were 12. We’re very different people in terms that I’m an extrovert and she’s an introvert. Making friends is not the easiest for her because of this, but I’ve always made it a priority for her to know I’m always there for her.

She obviously has other friends, but in new settings she’s shy.

Throughout the years on either of our birthdays, we’ve made it a priority to have each other there, no matter if the celebration was small/big. Even during the health crisis, when I had my birthday, I invited close friends to my house and she was obviously one of the people I wanted there the most.

Because we’re both in college and I have health issues, we haven’t spoken a lot, but that’s never been an issue because we each are busy and we’ve never let that hurt the friendship.

A few weeks ago was her birthday, and the weekend prior to it I saw on her IG story a get-together with some people but I didn’t think anything of it, she seemed happy and I was glad for her, it was nice seeing her making new friendships.

On her birthday I texted her a whole paragraph and she answered very like “meh”. On IG I saw that people posted the pictures of the past weekend at the get-together, but now there were videos of them singing her happy birthday with a cake, hugging, etc.

I asked her if everything was alright because whenever I feel something’s off I prefer to talk it out.

She said that everything was fine and that if it wasn’t she would tell me. Then I sent her a text saying that I just wanted to make sure since I noticed everything I just mentioned and we had always made having each other present for our birthdays a priority.

She said that it was just a small plan, she invited 6 people and 3 more just swung by to say hi, that she didn’t want to make her birthday a problem, that I should chill, and that she could see me some other day.

I was shocked because it felt like she shut me down.

I apologized, told her that it was never my intention to make her birthday a problem and I wasn’t mad, just sad since I had a birthday present for her, that I prefer to talk things out, and that I never meant for it to seem like I was angry at her, just felt pushed aside for something we always included each other in.

She answered that sorry she made me feel this way and that it wasn’t her intention. I asked my partner if I was out of line at any point in the conversation, and he said I wasn’t and that he knows Chelsey and her response seemed very odd. A friend of mine said she responded to me as if I was an acquaintance asking to go to a party, instead of an almost 9 y/o sister-like friendship. I’m feeling sad that she didn’t even consider telling me to swing by to see her on her birthday.

So AITJ in this situation?”

2 points - Liked by pamlovesbooks918 and leja2

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rbleah 6 months ago
Sad to say but she may no longer be your friend. Now that she has other friends she may no longer need you. Just go about your life and DON'T contact her. Let her come to you if she wants to continue this relationship. Take the time to come to terms with this one way or the other.
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5. AITJ For Refusing To Pay For My Husband's Burnt Steak?

“My husband 30 and I 32 keep our finances separate and we do not share anything until and unless there’s an agreement. He wants it this way and I’m OK with that although he can be strict with what’s his and what’s mine.

Anyways, 2 days ago he brought home a raw steak cut and asked me to take time off work (I work from home) to cook it for him and I said OK since he was a bit sick and exhausted.

I prepared the steak and added all ingredients together then put it inside the oven then stopped by the bedroom where he was lying in bed playing on his phone and told him I had to go back to work and the steak was in the oven and he needed to turn it off in exactly 10 minutes so it wouldn’t get overcooked since he hates it overcooked.

40 minutes go by and my husband rushes in freaking out telling me he just checked on the steak and it was completely burnt. I asked why he didn’t turn off the oven 10 minutes after I notified him and he says to me that he was busy harvesting the strawberries in the game he was playing.

I just shrugged and told him this is on him then for being on his phone distracted and letting the meat burn but he says to me “well, no kidding it’s your fault because when you start something, you finish it and you were supposed to finish cooking the steak!”

I meanly remind him I agreed to take valuable time off work to cook for him when I didn’t have to and when he was playing on his phone so he should be grateful but gets more upset and says that I need to pay $$ for the steak since he bought it from the butchers so it’s high quality unlike the supermarket.

I said no this is not my responsibility but he then tells me that yes, yes it is and that I should think of it as if I took $$ from his salary and burned it not to mention that he gets no dinner therefore I owe him. I lash out at him telling him no and to get out of my office so I could finish my work since my time is valuable as well as his precious steak and he was wasting it.

He keeps insisting I pay for the price of steak and even said I was wrong for refusing to take responsibility and correct my mistake and just pay because he wants to buy another cut of steak but DOES NOT plan on using his money again because why should he? He wasn’t the one who cooked and let the steak burn. AITJ?”

2 points - Liked by shmi and pamlovesbooks918

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rbleah 6 months ago
Time to get out of the mad house. He sounds too much like a man/child
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4. AITJ For Rejecting My Parents' Nose Job Gift?

“My 18th birthday was 2 days ago and my dad and stepmom’s joint gift to me was going to be paying for a nose job for me. They had already booked a consult for me with one of the top cosmetic surgeons in our state. The problem is they never even asked if I still wanted a nose job, and the last time I remember mentioning wanting one was years ago.

For context, I have been self-conscious about my nose ever since I started getting bullied for it in elementary school. My stepmom always tried to reassure me that when I was older I could get cosmetic surgery. At the time that made me feel better and I was completely sure I wanted a nose job, but I’ve been on the fence about it for the last couple of years.

I guess I’ve been hoping I could develop some self-esteem and try and start liking the way I look, especially now I’m out of high school, and then later I would decide if I still wanted one. I stopped talking about hating my nose because the response was always that I could just get surgery later and that just made me feel more ugly in the moment.

So when they announced that my 18th birthday gift was going to be a nose job, I was really uncomfortable and kind of annoyed because I felt they should have asked me instead of assuming I still felt the same way as I did when I was a middle schooler.

I thanked them and said I appreciated the thought but I’m not even sure I still want a nose job anymore and I’d prefer if they could give me the cash so I can think about it some more before going ahead with it, and if I decide I don’t want a nose job I can put it towards something else like college or a car or an apartment.

They were pretty annoyed with me for not accepting the gift. They said it was rude to just ask for the cash. They also think that if I changed my mind in the last few years I should have told them to avoid issues like this, but I honestly had no inkling they would give me a nose job as a gift, especially without asking first.

I’m a little mad that they’ve decided I get no gift at all just because I wouldn’t accept the nose job, and they say I’m being ungrateful and rude.


Just a quick edit for clarification – at no point did they say “we’ll get you a nose job” or anything like that, it was always “you can get a nose job”, and I always assumed I’d be the one paying for it. I genuinely never thought they might want to gift me one so I never thought to let them know I wasn’t sure anymore when I started reconsidering around the start of high school, I simply stopped mentioning it.”

1 points - Liked by pamlovesbooks918 and leja2

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lipr 6 months ago
sounds like THEY think that you should be wanting a nose job. they left no space for your maturing in the interval. they are the jerks, not you, and they are being unreasonable about the entire thing.
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3. AITJ For Helping A Female Friend Feel Safe At Night While Visiting My Long-Distance Partner?


“I (22M) am on vacation visiting my long-distance partner in her home state. We met online right after I graduated from college in May.

She lives a decently far distance from me, so I had to make about a 7-hour drive to get to her city. I tend to reach out to friends whenever I have free time to sustain my relationships and just play catch-up since a lot of us are in different cities.

I’d like to think of myself as a reliable friend who is there for them when they need it, but this is of course subjective.

Enough of the prelude, let’s get into the story.

After day 1 of my trip, I had a female friend (my best friend’s partner – he’s away and isn’t reachable by phone) text me at 1:30 AM to see if I was awake and could call her while she walked home, she lives in NYC and I’ve dealt with my fair share of people to realize how tough and unsafe it can feel for a woman to be alone at night, albeit at 2 AM.

So I gave her a call and made sure I stayed on the line until she got home safe. All was well and I was glad to help a friend.

The next morning, my partner came over to my hotel and looked through my phone and asked me who my female friend was.

I obviously had nothing to hide so I even let her read our message thread of her thanking me for giving her a call. She even said things like “how are you and your girl doing? I hope you two are having fun.” I thought nothing of it.

Fast forward to today, I’m making the 7-hour trek back to my city and she calls me and tells me that “I talked to my friends and they all agree that your interaction with that girl is suspicious” and “I need to establish boundaries in my relationships with people of the opposite gender.

I’m sure she has other female friends to call.” This all obviously hit me by surprise. I told her that it’s unfair to judge my relationships with my friends just because her friends don’t do these things for each other and she found it very offensive. She became very accusatory and I am just so confused.

She tried bringing up the point that the last time I visited, she went through my phone and saw that I was texting a girl (one of my college best friends) about my trip to visit this girl. The big red flag was when my friend texted me “get home safe, text me when you’re home” and she got really upset and said “she should only say that to her partner, not mine. I don’t like the way she interacts with you.”


1 points - Liked by pamlovesbooks918

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rbleah 6 months ago
DROP THIS INSECURE WITCH. You have been open with her but she wants you to ONLY HAVE HER and NO OTHER FEMALES. Does not matter that you have been just FRIENDS with those ladies for years. This girl needs to grow up and get some counseling cause she is gonna be confused about WHY IS HE DUMPING MEEEEE. OMG step away from the DRAMA LLAMA please.
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2. AITJ For Not Helping My Financially Struggling Sister After She Saw My Bank Account Balance?

“A bit of context, I (18) am a cleaner in a hospital, it’s a good-paying job but the work is physically exhausting. As a result, I have a nice bank balance. This is because I have been working 10+ hour days for 12 days straight. As I said, physically exhausting.

But I don’t mind, I adore my work and I get along well with most of my coworkers and the HCAs.

This began last week. I was checking my bank balance on my phone to ensure that (1) my wages had gone into my account and (2) that I had enough funds to get my glasses and contact lenses.

Without my knowledge, my sister was looking at my bank account over my shoulder while I was checking my balance. I didn’t notice because I just finished a long and emotionally draining shift, that is a story all of its own.

Come this Monday, I ask my sister if she would mind bringing me to my optician’s appointment because I can’t drive and the next train wasn’t until after my appointment.

She agreed to take me so all is good. That is until I do a bit of Christmas shopping after my appointment and my sister is doing the same. I know my sister is struggling financially so I advise her to add up what she is buying as she is going along, I know I know I shouldn’t have given her advice she didn’t ask for.

She groans at me but didn’t say anything.

I find out after we finish our shopping and are going home that my sister had to put a few things back because she couldn’t afford them. I didn’t say “I told you so”, frankly I didn’t get the chance to because she said “I saw your bank account, you could have bought these for me and then we would be even and you would owe me nothing.”

Another bit of context, I raised my nephew for 6 months while my sister was supposedly working.

I looked after him from 8 am to 9 pm, I quit my job and everything to look after him. I gave him breakfast when he arrived, lunch, and dinner before he went home and he wouldn’t be fed until I was looking after him the next day. I did all this for €15 a day, which didn’t cover even half of my nephew’s food bill.

But I never complained, I stopped because I wanted to do more with my life and got a job.

Now back to the story, I stopped everything I was doing and looked at my sister. I told her that I owed her nothing, if anything she owes me six months of my life back.

When she asked why, I told her that raising her child for 6 months was no easy feat considering I was a child myself and that if it weren’t for me her child would be extremely sick or dead.

She was upset at me and kicked me out of the car.

I feel like an idiot because my sister was struggling financially and she couldn’t afford to pay me more. As well as she is pregnant again and I upset her really bad when I said what I did.

I am really conflicted on this, am I the jerk?”

1 points - Liked by pamlovesbooks918, leja2 and CJ777

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rbleah 6 months ago
YOU ARE NOT THE JERK. And you owe her nothing. DON'T LET HER GUILT YOU INTO BELIEVING HER CRAP. she can't afford what she has and now is preggers again? Now you know why she is whining and guilt tripping you. SHE CAN'T AFFORD WHAT SHE HAS NOW. Remember that YOU did not put her into this position, she did it to herself. IT IS NOT YOUR JOB TO KEEP BAILING HER OUT OF HER OWN PROBLEMS.
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1. AITJ For Confronting My Absent Wife About Raising Our Unplanned Daughter?


“I never loved my daughter. Not really. I always hated the idea of children so me and my wife (but mostly me) were super careful. One way or the other though, she got pregnant. I know it happens sometimes, but my wife didn’t want to get rid of the baby.

We talked about it for a bit but eventually, we agreed to keep the baby because I didn’t want to make her feel like she had to do something she didn’t want to, especially with her child.

So boom, baby. Except after she had the baby, it didn’t seem like she was taking care of her as much as she should have.

Sometimes I would come home from work and the baby would be alone with my wife nowhere to be seen. I didn’t want the baby to live a life of being neglected and have us never give her a chance for a good childhood, so I tried to take care of the baby when I could.

Admittedly, I was very bad at it. I didn’t know how to take care of a baby, which is something I should have begun researching when it was confirmed we were having the baby. I was also never really mentally prepared to care for a baby, as I had never wanted one and, truth be told, really despised children and taking care of them.

But regardless, I still tried to take care of her when my wife wasn’t around, which was a lot of the time.

Fast forward 15 years, my daughter is now 15 years old. I have taken care of this child, put her into school, spent money that I worked for on this kid that I never even wanted, for 15 years now.

And my wife still seems to be absent for the child. One evening, we were eating dinner and my wife was talking about “how good of a baby she raised”. I snapped at her and told her that she had never raised this baby and that she was selfish for pushing her choice on me.

Everything got quiet after that and we just sort of all left. I know that she was never present for our daughter and I guess everything from the past years just boiled over. But mostly, I feel bad about saying it in front of my daughter. I don’t want her to feel like she’s responsible or blame herself for me and my wife’s relationship. I want her to live a good life and I don’t want our conflict to ruin that for her.

So, AITJ?”

-1 points (1 vote(s))

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sctravelgma 6 months ago
Your primary responsibility is your daughter.
1 - get her into therapy as a single and do yourself a huge favor and get a therapist for yourself. Later after discussing it with both therapists, seek their professional recommendations regarding the two of you having some therapy sessions together.
2 - divorce that witch and demand 100% custody and child support. Any visitation should be supervised by a third party. It seems a bit strange that knowing you did not want any children that your partner suddenly became pregnant. I just read another story about a college couple in the same situation. Later on mother, in a fit of anger against the child, admitted she quit BC hoping to get pregnant in order to trap the guy. Just remember it is a possibility. She definitely has no interest in being a parent, and while you originally didn't want a child, you stepped up to the plate and became a father to this child. Do not let her continue her toxic behavior around your daughter as your daughter is actually the only innocent party in this mess. Good Luck.
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