People Tell Their Clever Revenge Stories
45. Don't Like That I Towed Your Car? No One Cares
“In my part of Calif, if someone is in or blocking your driveway, you can directly call a tow company that offers PPI service, and many do. There are legal steps they must follow, so I always make sure to call one that advertises PPI services.
(Private Party Impound).
I once lived in a canyon area where off-street parking was valuable and rare. I was lucky enough to have two spots due to my house being on two lots. My lower spot was used as guest parking.
It was legally signed with two ‘NO PARKING! TOW AWAY’ signs placed above, facing oncoming traffic, while the other one was at eye level and impossible to miss should someone occupy the space.
Down the street was a popular steakhouse that didn’t have adequate parking, so many self-absorbed flatlanders would pull into my space with no regard for the signage.
One late afternoon I rolled up from working all day only to find a shiny black late-model Saab in my space. After checking with a neighbor, who informed me she had seen the couple walking toward the restaurant and warned them that I meant business with the towing warning, I rang up the heartless pros at Lakeside Towing.
They arrived within 15 minutes and had the car on a hook in another 10 minutes. Off it went to their impound yard some 20 miles and a 175 dollar (30 years ago) impound fee away. I’d already been warned by my neighbor that the male driver was a huge jerk, so I patiently waited for their return.
The male was livid and displayed all of the righteous indignations of a self-absorbed spoiled brat who isn’t accustomed to being denied what he wants. He proceeded to march up to my long flight of outside stairs but was met halfway by my huge red Doberman, who stood menacingly athwart the stairs, glaring at him with her pointy ears laid back.
I told him he could call Lakeside and they’d tell him what he has to do to recover his car. He said he was calling the police, and I told him that wasn’t necessary because Lakeside always calls them when they do a PPI, in case the car’s owner reports it as stolen.
Frustrated and embarrassed in front of what turned out to be a woman on her first date with him (and probably last) he called me some choice names and epithets, then stormed down the stairs where he, for some reason, decided to pound on my neighbor’s door.
I don’t know if he even noticed the red flash that ran by him, but by the time he was halfway up their outside stairs, he was once again denied access by my huge Doberman, Ruby. She was fond of the neighbors and felt the need to protect them as well.
I could hear him screaming at my neighbor: ‘How am I supposed to get to that impound yard from way out here? Walk? With my date?’ My neighbor calmly answered, ‘Well, that’s one way you could get there. You could also call a cab, but they always add a $15 surcharge to the fare due to our remote location.
I’ve got supper cooking, gotta get inside. Good luck!’
I don’t know what he ended up doing, nor do I care. All I know is big Dobermans are amazing, and he most likely never pulled a bad decision stunt like that ever again.”
44. Keep Fighting And I'll Blast Some Breakup Anthems To Really Set The Mood
“My fiancé and I just purchased a townhouse in a lovely little neighborhood. I’m a bit of a tomboy (28F), so I was incredibly excited to have my very own 2 car garage to do my woodworking in!
It was a beautiful day.
The sun was shining, the temperature was perfect, and I set out to overhaul my beloved garage for an entire day. Bay doors open, perfect weather, nice little breeze blowing in once in a while. It was the perfect day to do some outdoor chores until a couple in their late teens or early 20’s decided to have the blowout fight of a lifetime right in front of my house.
They’d scream at each other, go back into their parked cars for a few minutes, come back out, and scream at each other again. I mean damn guys, can’t you hate each other somewhere else? We have a TON of parks and hiking trails where we live, not to mention their own damn house, so they have plenty of nearby places they could scream at each other that aren’t 20 feet from my garage!
According to our other neighbors (who all seem pretty cool so far), this happens a LOT.
I quietly tolerated this for the first hour or so, then decided that I had to do SOMETHING to get rid of these jerks.
My fiancé isn’t a people person, and he has asked that I try to tolerate annoying neighbors rather than talk to them in order to avoid drama.
I can work with that!
Cue petty revenge.
So I created a playlist on my favorite streaming service FULL of breakup songs. Every time they’d get out of their cars to fight about petty nonsense, I’d BLAST break up songs while sitting in a chair and blatantly watching them.
They’d get in their cars, and I’d go back to half-volume funk music and back to organizing my tools. It took a few songs, but I think they got the picture when I blared NYSNC’s ‘Bye Bye Bye’ while doing the cheesy dance for them because they left after that! And I got to enjoy my lovely day once again.
If you hate each other that much, break up! Or at least fight in private, damn lol.”
43. Steal My Lunch? Enjoy Your Trips To The Bathroom
“Someone used to steal my lunch in grade 5, every freakin’ day. I told my mother, the ultimate revenge planner, someone who has no regard for the general safety of bad children, and in my lunchbox went the usual: a sandwich, a juice box, and some chocolate.
Only the chocolate was this magical tool that, when combined with secrecy, becomes the ultimate bomb of revenge (laxative). No toilet was safe that day. You see, my lunch was indeed stolen again, all of it, and then came lunch recess (after lunchtime).
Just before it came to its end, this girl who nearly everyone disliked for her annoying tendencies actually told me that she spent the whole lunch recess in the washroom pooping (I couldn’t believe the culprit would actually reveal themselves to me at all, was quite surprised). Evidently, she ate the chocolate and had a fit. Probably thought it was normal chocolate, she never stole my lunch again. REVENGE!”
42. Fire Me Over One Dust Bunny? I'll Get My Payback...In Pennies
“After a year of being unemployed, I finally got a job as a clerk at ACE Hardware. Now, these franchises are bought and owned by individuals, the main manager of each location is usually the actual owner of said location.
As soon as I got hired, everyone started telling me in hushed tones to just do what I’m asked and not question it, do it thoroughly and quickly, and always look like you’re busy. I took this as like, ‘Well yeah, isn’t that what you’re supposed to do anyway?’ The problem is the place was spotless since our manager was a pain.
Finding things to do, or sweeping the floor for the fifth time in an hour, really didn’t cut it as any kind of work.
Anyway, I got told to dust the shelves one day. I put on my best smile, pulled out the towels and cleaner, and got to work.
A couple of days go by, I get called in by the manager. No reason why, just asked me if I could make it in. I get there and she just hands me the termination paperwork. ‘What is this?’
‘I’m sorry, but we’re going to have to let you go.’
‘I don’t understand – what did I do?’
‘Unfortunately, it isn’t a matter of what you did, it’s a matter of what you didn’t do.
I had asked you to clean the shelves. There was still dust on them.’
I just shook my head, signed the papers (which claimed noncompliance), and thanked her for giving me the opportunity.
I asked a few associates what it was I did, and one of the lower-level managers told me it was because there was a dust bunny on one of the back shelves.
Needless to say, I was angry. Livid. But I remembered something – this manager had a policy. All cash transactions over 100$ had to be handled by the owner/manager. They had seen a lot of fake currency and bounced checks (I wonder why?) She was in every day, lording over us from her office.
She was also in dire need of money, according to the other managers. I knew what I had to do.
Taking some money I had been rationing for food, I went with cash in hand to the store. I found an electric drill set. Perfect.
So there we were. Her, myself… And one hundred dollars in pennies.
I returned the drill unopened the next day for a crisp hundred dollar bill and change.”
41. Follow Me Around The Store? I'll Snatch Up The Ugly Dress You Want
“Years ago, I was browsing through a rack of shirts in a women’s discount clothing store. I was the only customer in there when a Karen walked in. I heard Karen tell the clerk she’d come back for a size small denim dress she’d seen a couple of days ago.
It buttoned down the front and had flowers embroidered around the hem. The clerk said if there were any left, they would be in the dress section. But instead of going to the dress area, Karen made a beeline for the same rack I was looking at, standing right beside me, blocking my access to the clothes that I hadn’t yet looked at.
Now, this was a good-sized store, but she had to look at the rack I was on. Sigh. So I moved on to the jeans.
Karen decided to follow me to jeans, again standing right beside me and reaching in front of me to grab a pair to try on.
When I moved over to dress pants, she followed, and again to jewelry. ‘I hope I’m not in your way,’ I said to her sarcastically. ‘Oh, no, you’re fine,’ she said, oblivious to my tone as she reached right in front of my face and snatched a pair of earrings off the rack in front of me.
I moved to the clearance area, so naturally, Karen did, too. Finally, my shadow and I headed to dresses. Suddenly, hanging high on the far side wall behind a short black dress, I saw an inch of denim with embroidered flowers peeking out behind it.
I walked over, pulled the black dress down, and lo and behold, the holy grail, the ugly denim dress, in size small! I heard Karen gasp and saw her moving in toward me from the corner of my eye.
When she was a mere three or four feet away, reaching toward the denim dress, I reached out and snatched it up and waltzed over to the check-out counter. She followed and had the nerve to ask me, ‘Aren’t you even going to try that on? I want to buy it if you don’t want it!’ I just smiled sweetly and said I’d take my chances since I had 60 days to return it.
As I left, I could hear her whining to the clerk that she’d asked about the dress first and it wasn’t fair. ‘She didn’t even try it on!’ I returned the dress to another store location across town shortly before the return period was over.
Definitely petty. Maybe if you’d gone over and looked in the dress area instead of shadowing my every move, you would have scored the ugly denim dress, Karen.”
Another User Comments:
“I had someone a few years ago in Barnes and Nobles doing the same thing.
I normally wander absentmindedly, filtering between science fiction, then going to horror, etc. This overbearing large woman kept following me and standing way too close. So me being petty I just stopped moving. I stood still and picked up every book on that shelf and looked at them, then put them back, some I even picked up twice.
She huffed and puffed and I asked if I was in her way and she huffed out a no so I kept at it. It was a good 30 mins of standing in the one spot and almost 2 hours total before she just huffed off. I can out petty anyone.” Skarvha
40. Overcharge Me? I'll Warn Other Tourists About Your Scheme
“I moved from the US to Trinidad. My parents come down at least once a year to visit and we check out different sites, beaches, etc.
Last year we wanted to go to Pitch Lake, a national park that is very far from Port of Spain.
It’s a big lake that is made of soft ‘tar’ or pitch. They used to extract it for export. Not too many people visiting TT will go there because of how remote the location is, but it’s a very cool site.
So we pull up and this guy with one ear comes up. He’s a foolish tour guide. A quick talker and a salesman, but you can tell he knows his stuff. Said he’s been giving ‘tours’ since he was 14.
Now, if you use one of these ‘unofficial guides’ you can get into the parts of the pitch lake you can’t get to with the official guides. We just started walking and he followed up giving his tour. We were all really surprised with how knowledgeable he was on the history, etc.
His tour was very well-rehearsed.
It gets towards the end and his ‘partner’ comes into the picture. This guy was drinking and it was 10 am. It’s evident he’s just trying to get some of the action, late in the game.
We are wrapping up the tour and it comes down to payment. The guy says he usually gets about $75US per person for the tour. We are floored. I tell him no way. Then his stumbling partner says that doesn’t include HIS fee.
We eventually get the guy down to a workable but still inflated amount. His partner was pretty large and it was becoming evident it was a hustle. To avoid getting in trouble or something, we paid and left. It kind of ruined the whole experience.
I live here and know how much these guys probably make in a day WORKING, much less walking around spewing nonsense about a public property while drinking.
So, the last time they were here we were heading to a beach that just so happened to be by where the pitch lake was.
It was early, probably like 9 am. I didn’t say anything to my Mom and Dad, and as we were passing I just turned onto the road. ‘What are you doing?’
Sure enough, here is our one-eared hustler. He’s chatting up a group of about 12 tourists.
White as chalk and with fanny packs on, so I could tell they were most likely going for his sales pitch. They were all packing up water bottles into their packs for the tour. They were British and the intoxicated strong man was there as well.
I pulled over the car and popped out of the driver’s seat. Without going over to them I yelled over, ‘Hey, is that the tour guide with one ear?’ Almost like I was ONLY looking for the tour guide with one ear b/c he was so good.
The guy yelled back, ‘Yes sir it is, the one and only’ or some stuff like that.
‘Well, stay away from him! He’s a hustler. He will overcharge you for this tour! Make sure to pay him in advance! And this guy will try to strong-arm you too!’
The one-eared guy started yelling back obscenities.
The strong man started walking towards us, he was probably intoxicated and definitely angry. The British began to retreat and motion for their taxi van to leave the shade it was parked under and come collect them. Definitely lost him a huge amount in tour fees.
Now, every time I pass this place, I will pull into the Pitch Lake and try to screw up any shake this guy has going at the time.”
39. Check Your Facts Before You Accuse Me Of Time Theft
“I worked in a grocery store and I was scheduled to work on my birthday when I had friends coming out. So I spoke to my manager in the floral department (where I was working that day) and my store manager to see if I could start a half-hour early to be able to meet my friends for dinner and a movie.
No big deal to either of them so I started work early.
I went on my lunch and 25 minutes in I get a call from the Assistant Manager who accused me of taking a 25-minute coffee break (they are 15 minutes).
So she accused me of time theft. In the middle of the lunchroom, I started yelling that the next time she wanted to accuse me of theft she better have her ducks in a row before speaking to me, that she was right in front of the break schedule that would clearly show I was on lunch, and that she had now bothered me on which according to our union contract would give me the right to start my break all over again.
I told her I would be notifying the union and the store union rep as well since I don’t take kindly to being accused of theft.
I went back to work in 5 minutes because I wasn’t restarting my lunch and screwing my floral manager because we had work to do.
Went back and told my floral manager who I knew would be angry, who then marched over and tore a strip off the Assistant Manager as well for insinuating she didn’t know what was going on in her department.
Then for giggles, I reported the Assistant Manager to HR. Eventually, there were enough staff complaints about her that the next year she went into work and found she was fired and security escorted her out of the store.”
38. Eat My Husband's Dinner? I Hope You Like My Chicken Liver Concoction
“Someone at our organization cooked and ate one of my husband’s night-shift burger patties. It was in a container from home, in a branded bag, in the staff communal fridge. We brought to work a four-pack from the butcher’s for our first night shift, cooked two, and put the two (raw) remaining ones in a container for the next night.
The following night, one patty had gone. My husband, who eats burgers, was annoyed but going to let it slide. I am not so nice and got extremely annoyed at the bold brass cojones of some thieving co-worker.
Today I bought half a kilo of raw chicken liver for our cats…
and got a bit creative. I minced the liver in a processor, added cayenne pepper, microwaved it (now it’s ‘edible’), made tiny liver balls in an icecube tray, covered it in more cayenne, and chucked it in the freezer.
Tomorrow I will melt some cooking chocolate and coat my delicious balls of vomit. Then I will pop them into a container where they will look delicious and tempting… and numerous. I won’t miss one, right?
Suck on my spicy chocolate liver balls, you patty-pincher.”
37. Treat Me Like Trash After I Saved Your Salon? I'll Leave And Then Make It Smell Like Trash
“This happened about 10 yrs ago and I still feel pure glory and gold when re-living it and telling my tale of revenge.
I am a career hairstylist and worked primarily in the big city. I was in the middle of a nasty divorce and opted to move back home to cool off at my parents’ place in rural middle of nowhere farmland.
I was adamantly against doing hair in town because I wanted to keep a low profile and just heal quietly. Well, long story short an opportunity fell in my lap that looking back had red flags all over it, but I was getting restless and bored so I chose to take it.
This salon owner was about ready to pop having like her 5th kid with the 5th dude. She had no one else working in her shop. My mom’s best friend went to her and was like ‘oh I know this girl blah blah she grew up here she is good at hair and moved home from the city’ so on and so forth.
So I meet her and she asks me to run her shop and keep the doors open while she is having the baby.
So I do just that. I already know the entire town. She disappeared for almost 6 months with very little communication about when she may return.
I just do my thang and keep the lights and water on slayin hair.
So one day she shows up. Demands that every appointment in the schedule is now hers and I can pack my things and go.
I don’t budge.
I explain gently that I’m not going anywhere. I had a signed contract stating specifics and it was legally binding. And I go about my business.
It was a few months later things seemed to have a flow although she was super intense and insanely jealous of me.
What can I say? I had experience and education and lived and breathed my trade. But we did seem to coexist at least.
One day I get there and my key doesn’t work. She won’t answer the phone. I had no access to my appointment book or my tools.
She tried to have me trespassed from the property but was unsuccessful.
She left town with all my belongings locked in the shop for an entire week.
During this time I talked to the attorney my mom worked for who did employment law.
He told me to take his leash off and he would shut her down. I told him that wasn’t necessary. I just needed my tools and my appointment book, I already had another salon lined up. He did call her and freak her out though.
And I had other plans of my own.
What my friends and I ended up doing was planting spoiled meat all around her shop in the bushes. Collectively between us all for at least a month, there was a daily deposit of some kind of meat item in the landscaping.
We hooded up like total night creepers and by the light of the moon hid steaks, ground beef, roasts, chicken thighs… Anything we didn’t need or want or was already going bad or freezer burnt. It all ended up surrounding her shop hidden deep in the bushes.
It’s hot and humid and it’s summertime. Things are getting absolutely FOUL around there. People in town are talking. Walking past the odor was overwhelming.
People stopped going for a variety of reasons… I’m sure that may have contributed!!!
I felt that signified her rancid spirit and rotten personality just fine.”
36. Think You Can Beat Me In A Race? Okay, But You'll Have To Disrupt A Live Concert
“This happened more years ago than I care to count but it still pleases me. I went to a boarding school. There was another kid there who was horribly competitive and smug especially, it seemed, towards me. He was always telling me how he was better than me, how he always got better grades than me, how he was going to get into a better university than me, and would then go on about how bad I was and how academically inferior I was to him and how I would never really amount to anything.
For some reason, I just took it and didn’t really react until, one night, when I saw an opportunity…
He was a member of a club created for the school’s ‘high achieving’ pupils. Needless to say, I wasn’t. This club met in a classroom one evening each week.
I bumped into him on his way to one of these meets and, to wind him up, told him I thought I’d go along too. He just sneered at me telling me it wasn’t appropriate for me to be there.
I told him that not only was I going along, but I was faster than him and I’d race him there. He couldn’t resist the competition so we agreed that I’d take the outside route (it was raining) and he’d go via the inside route which involved cutting across an assembly hall.
We set off as fast as we could, him sprinting towards the hall and me going the outside route. Then it struck me…there was a classical music concert going on in the assembly hall that he was approaching at high speed.
Now, I could (should) have shouted to him to warn him but instead, I could only stop and watch and laugh as he exploded through a double swing-door right in the middle of a quiet violin solo that had to stop as the performer was so shocked by his sudden entry that had made over 400 parents and pupils gasp and stare at him.
He then got hauled up in front of the teacher who was in charge of the concert and, being a jerk, he brought me in too. When he explained we were on our way to his elitist, stuck-up club meet and how I’d suggested a race, I denied all knowledge and asked, ‘What would I want to go to one of those meetings for? It’s hardly appropriate for me is it.’ The teacher totally believed me and this other kid got punished. I don’t think he ever forgave me.”
35. I Knocked The Athletic Bully Down A Few Pegs By Beating Him At His Best Game
“There was this older kid who was just a big jerk. He bullied everybody and generally made sure everyone knew he was the boss. This one day I was the target of some remark about me having glasses and being a nerd.
I reacted poorly and became an easy target for a while.
The thing was he was also successful in sports, having been picked out to play in my city’s junior soccer team and liked to boast about it. He kind of had ‘celebrity’ status at our school because of this.
Autumn comes around and the school announces a soccer tournament between all classes where each class picked out a team and played each other throughout the semester. The whole thing was pretty well organized and a huge success.
I never played soccer in a team and don’t really like sports per se but from time to time I played during lunch breaks and had become known as a reliable goalie, so of course, I get picked out in my class’s team.
We made it to the semi-finals and the game ended in a tie, so we did penalty kicks to decide the winner.
So fate put this bully in front of me. The crowd (other classes and parents) was all expecting him to score as he was the ‘celebrity’ soccer player and I was the nerdy kid who occasionally played goalie on lunch breaks.
It was not a deciding shot yet but to me it was personal. This jerk with all his success and way too big ego needed to be taken down a notch. I just had to beat him at something he was good at.
He aimed for the upper right corner, confident that I’d never be able to save it. He put all his strength into it but no. You guessed it. I saved.
It hurt so bad to catch that ball but it was so sweet.
The part of the crowd that was rooting for my team went wild. Probably as close to fame I’ll ever be too.
He got so angry that he went into the locker rooms and punched through a window.
He didn’t pick on anyone after that.”
34. Need To Deal With The Big Bad Neighbor? Pee On His Front Door
“When I was about 4 or 5, we had a neighbor in an apartment complex who was always intoxicated. One night, I was standing outside when he and his partner walked by me. He stomped his foot and roared really loud, attempting to scare me, but I just stood there staring at him.
He asked me what I was looking at, and his partner told him to leave me alone. When they came back, he walked by and said he was gonna get his pliers and take my nose off.
As soon as they went inside, I went to his front door and peed on it.
Every time they went somewhere after that, I would pee on his door. I have no clue why. But it made him, and the manager really angry. We ended up moving to a much better place a few months later.
For some reason, I can remember him clearly. He was a total jerk. His partner on the other hand was really nice, and sweet… and pretty.
They had no idea that it was me at first. He actually thought it was someone with a dog, up until the manager caught me red-handed (or yellow-handed). lol. But I was just a kid, so as to why I chose to do that, it’s a mystery. But I’ve never liked bullies, so maybe that has something to do with it.”
33. She Left Her Cruel Husband With Nothing But A Few Utensils
“My neighbor and her husband were the parents of three children. He was known in the block to be narcissistic, obsessive, and controlling. The rules to enter their home, their pool, attend their party, were overwhelming and eye-raising.
She, the wife, had had enough!
He, the husband, was scheduled to attend a conference a state away for three days.
Within minutes of him leaving, her few close friends were called to action. Furniture was loaded onto the truck, clothes were packed, dishes, utensils, towels… well… you name it and it was loaded onto the truck.
How I would have loved to be there when he arrived home.
In the dining room, he saw one tv table containing a water glass, fork, knife, and spoon.
No other furniture was left.
She had her revenge for putting up with a controlling and angry man for years.
He… well… he is still there. The house is quiet…!”
32. Leave Me With All The Payments? Too Bad Only Your Name Is On The Lease
“Living in Japan, roommate hates her job so she goes to visit her ‘sick mom’ (the excuse she gives to her boss, not true and she brags about this), actually just returning to the US.
She leaves me with the apartment and I’m going to have to pay her share, meaning about $1200 a month.
She says not to complain and to just find a new roommate. She also leaves me her iPhone and says to just pay the bills for her and I can keep it. I already have a phone. Finally, she sends me $200 and tells me to mail her all her stuff.
Naturally, the cost would have been around three times that.
However, the jerk forgot that only her name was on the lease.
So I give her a month to send me her rent payment, then just move in with my partner and find a new apartment.
I mail her the iPhone and the bills for it.
I mail the $200 worth of her stuff and put the rest in her old storage unit, telling her that I’m happy to send more once she sends more funds.
But she didn’t pay the storage unit fee so they got all her stuff.
Two months later she tries to return and work at a new school in a different part of Japan, but her entry is rejected due to a massive amount of debt.
She lost her visa, ability to enter Japan, $2000 or more on a wasted ticket, hundreds of dollars of goods from her apartment, and had quit her job in the US.”
31. Fine Me For Not Having A Ticket? I'll Never Pay For One Again
“About October last year, I was mugged twice in the same week by the same group of six people. They took my wallet, stomped my face in pretty bad, and were generally pretty heinous.
The morning after the second mugging I was on the train to the police station to give a statement about the first.
Ticket inspectors (Melbournian) happened to be there and asked to see my concession card. I explained with aid of my bruised face why I didn’t have my wallet at all and was only on the train for fairly justified reasons.
They fined me $180 regardless, saying I could explain once the fine arrived and have it cleared up.
A couple of weeks pass, I receive the fine and clear it up as they said. A couple of months, a final notice, and a court hearing later and they were still hounding me for funds I was adamant not to pay.
Since that all started I had begun not paying for trains at all when I could help it, stubborn stupidity to be sure, but you know, screw it.
Not long ago I was sitting on a packed rush-hour train from the city after uni, having again not paid, and who should walk through but the same she-devil ticket inspector from that day.
She asked why I didn’t have a ticket and I replied with ‘You.’
When asked for further explanation I went into a tirade of telling her exactly how many problems she had caused in my life, went into great detail about how rude she had been during it all and how obviously beaten I was, making sure to use the word ‘hag’ as often as possible. It got to the point where everyone around us (to the brim rush hour remember) on the train was openly laughing at her and she had to leave in embarrassment.
Somehow made it all worth it.”
30. Soak My Stuff? I'll Dump Your New Console In The Pool
“I was 11, at a large birthday/pool party when out of the blue the kid whose birthday it is, grabs an empty two-liter of soda, fills it up in the pool, and proceeds to pour it all over my shirt, towel, shoes and backpack that I left on the deck before going swimming.
All the kids are laughing. My stuff is completely soaked. This wasn’t the first time he had been a complete jerk to me either, but I made sure later that he would regret inviting me to that party.
He opens all his presents, and the last one was a Nintendo 64.
The kid goes wild and spends the rest of his bday party on that thing. Fast forward 2 months or so, I get invited to a big slumber party of 5 people and he is one of the jerks that ends up going.
He brings his n64 of course and we play that thing all night long. The next morning I’m the first one to wake up, and I execute the plan I’d been considering for a very long time by now.
I disconnect the console from all the wires, wrap it in a towel, and take it outside to the pool chucking it straight in. Kerplunk! Screw that kid. I got in trouble of course. Best of all was my Dad’s advice after the fact, ‘Next time, do the right thing and punch the bully in the face.'”
29. Think You Could Take Better Care Of Him? Then Go For It
“I used to work as a Welfare Officer in a Disable Home for residents who are mentally/physically disabled (think of it as a mini psychiatric hospice for long term patients). Most of them either have no more living relatives, family having problem taking care of them, or simply don’t want to have anything to do with them.
There’s this gentleman who is among the few who still has relatives that visit once in a blue moon. He is very friendly although very frail, it doesn’t help that he loves to step out of his wheelchair unsupervised to do his own exercise.
More often than not, he would slip during one of his workouts and bruise like a peach.
On one occasion when his niece and her husband decided to make a visit, he so happened to injure himself again. As my nurse wheeled him to the visiting area, the niece went livid the moment she saw the bruise.
Now to be fair, if you were to see your relative injured you would also question the caretaker of their competency. We don’t blame her outrage but things do get pretty ugly from time to time when they start to accuse us of not doing our due diligence and threaten to sue.
(Note: Neither she nor her family is paying a single cent for us to take care of him and on the record, he was found abandoned before the social worker took him in.)
So after an onslaught by the niece, my nurse came crying into my office and told me and my colleague about the whole ordeal.
Apparently, the niece started to scrutinize my nurse’s daily routine for her uncle, claiming to be a nurse herself from a (semi) famous hospital and could bar my nurse working in my country (she can’t). Both my colleague and I were fuming at this point, so while my colleague is consoling my nurse, I decided to have a chat with the niece.
Me: Hi! How’s everyone doing tonight?
Resident: I’m fine! So glad to have my niece visit today even though she came at a bad time. Please tell the nurse not to take it too hard. (He obviously saw my nurse crying, the niece is now pouting.)
Niece: Hey you better tell your nurse to take care of my uncle or I’ll make sure she won’t be able to work in this country again! I’m a nurse too so don’t try to bluff me!
(At this point her husband is giving me the very apologetic look, I signal him that: I got this.)
Me: I’m truly sorry about this.
It will never happen again. Speaking of which, if you don’t mind, I’d like to find out more about (Resident’s name) here and his family situation. Like (for example) why is (Resident) here?
Niece: What’s there to find out? How can you not know? Don’t you have his case file? I thought you’re the officer here? Where is his case manager? Go find out from him! (Getting more aggressive)
Me: Yes I am and I do have his file, and it’s also part of my job to find out more about his background so that not only can I update his profile but to take better care of him.
It’s been a while since your last visit so I’d like to find out if there’s any update.
Niece: (Much taken back by what I’ve said and tone down her voice.) Oh err, he umm has his issues and my mother doesn’t want him to be around the house.
You should know about his issue.
(Resident is schizophrenic, tenancy for audio hallucination.)
Me: Ah I see, such a pity. Because over here no matter what, we will always try to encourage family members to take back the resident if they can afford to.
I mean, you said so you’re a nurse right? I’m sure you can provide much better care for him than us at his own home where he would be more comfortable. (Smile)
At this point the niece is all lost for words, jaw wide open but not a peep.
My resident is nodding his head profusely and even her husband gave an Oooh snap! look.
Niece: I… I… I’ll come back again.
Me: I’ll look forward to your next visit, I’m sure (Resident) here will too.
Back in the office after I told my colleague, he gave me a huge high-five while my nurse thanked me for standing up for her.
The niece did come back a few weeks later and brought a (relatively small) box of chocolate to thank all the staff for their hard work.
None of us took any.”
28. Steal And Get Away With It? Not This Time
“I once worked in retail. We had an assistant manager who was brought in after the old one moved to another store. He was a young go-getter who had successfully managed large shops before us and was touted by the store, regional, and area managers as being the person who could turn our ailing store’s numbers around…
or so everybody thought…
I was a department manager and after a few months of him being in the store, we had a few issues with inventories being off, after some investigations these discrepancies were dismissed as being handling errors.
A few months later and things were more serious, I was weekly unable to find thousands of dollars worth of stock I had personally accounted for weeks before and the entire wrath of the company’s loss prevention teams came down on all the staff in the store.
I and a number of other staff had to regularly answer questions about our movements in and out of the store, how we handled stock, what customers were given in bags (on average I handled 60+ transactions and 120+ customers in a 9-hour shift, the questions were brutal).
The dock supervisor, who had been with the company for many years and was near retirement age soon drew the ire of the inspectors and he was questioned by police and had his life turned upside down by the company’s loss prevention department.
He started investigating the matter himself, started snooping around the other staff, and quickly stumbled upon some interesting information on the assistant manager. A person with the same first name who looked nearly identical was prosecuted for embezzlement several years earlier in a different state.
He started asking around amongst staff he trusted about the assistant manager, myself included. Things quickly started to unravel, we had a few odd stories of happenings involving the assistant manager, but nothing that said concretely that he was suspicious.
Then, when one of the staff bumped into a former team member (who had mysteriously just stopped turning up for work) she immediately stopped talking when mention of the missing stock and the assistant manager was raised.
Eventually, after prompting from the dock manager the loss prevention team interviewed the former employee, who it turns out had been threatened out of her job after she found out the assistant manager was trying to sell some of the missing stock to one of her friends.
It was discovered he had a fraudulent identity and had stolen stock from the store over months and months of working there, but when it came to trial he never received a prison sentence because beyond what they had direct evidence of him stealing, they couldn’t prove his involvement in stealing the other missing stock (even though everybody knew it was him and it stopped when he was discovered).
He was fined by the courts quite severely, he did not pay the fines and quickly disappeared, assuming another name.
Unfortunately, the dock manager resigned in anger at the companies treatment of him and his family. The company did not apologize to him, nor any of the other employees who were berated by loss prevention for weeks.
Several staff members ended up having to take medical leave because of stress-related problems during the investigations and afterward we all felt as though we had been betrayed by a person we had trusted for months, and he had got out of any form of punishment other than losing his job.
A few months later I received a frantic call in the middle of a shift from another department manager who had the day off, she was at a toy store across town and had spotted the former assistant manager.
After a few phone calls within our company, the Loss Prevention Manager of our entire company (one of the largest retail chains in Australia) personally called the Loss Prevention Manager of the toy store company and told the whole story.
He was promptly fired, investigated, and then prosecuted for the same offenses as he had committed with our company there, and I’m told received a jail sentence for it. The next time I saw the former dock manager I informed him what had happened, I think he must have grinned for the rest of the day.”
27. Make Fun Of My Uniform? Enjoy Your Butter With A Side Of Popcorn
“I worked at a movie theater when I was 16. Part of our uniform involved one of the ugliest vests I’ve ever seen in my life. We would all take abuse from various patrons pretty much every night for how bad these things were.
I was working the popcorn station and was approached by a guy and what I imagined was his partner. He comes up and right off the bat starts giving me problems about my vest. I could tell he was trying to impress his partner by being funny but he was really just being a jerk.
I ask if he wants butter and he says something along the lines of ‘oh yeah bro don’t be shy with that stuff.’ I proceed to just unload the butter thing into his popcorn while he moves down the line to get a soda.
Now I know some of you are saying ‘oooh that would be awesome! I loveee butter!’ You don’t love this amount of butter. His popcorn was most definitely a bag of buttery mush and I would imagine his lap probably was as well. With a friendly grin, I did remind them to grab some napkins when I passed the popcorn to him. I felt like an evil genius the rest of the night.”
26. Won't Fix Your Drinking Problem? Eat The Pizza The Dog Licked
“My father’s partner is the worst. The whole family hates her for too many reasons to get into, though one of them I’ll touch on.
One night my father was on a business trip. She came home intoxicated, hours after she said she’d be back.
Now we’re talking motherless here. Couldn’t even get her car into the garage herself.
In any case, she brought pizzas back for me and my brother who were staying over at the time, as well as one for herself. They were all the same kind.
Now, because she was intoxicated, she dropped a pizza on the floor by the garage. One of our dogs licked it up pretty good too. My brother put it back in its box (for whatever reason) and warned me about it.
So, because she’d been spewing nonsense to my father about getting over her drinking habits, and about not driving under the influence anymore, I figured I’d fix the pizza up in its box and put it in the fridge. I was hoping she was too intoxicated to remember the next day.
25. Make My Job Harder? I'll Take As Long As I Want To Clean Up Your Mess
“So this happened about a week ago on a pretty dead Saturday at the store I work at. Generally, if it’s dead I’ll be doing general maintenance and pushing the cart around with the mop bucket and all that fun stuff on it.
I was pushing along down the dairy aisle when there were two carts next to each other, meaning I can’t get through. Our store aisles are one-way, so I couldn’t turn back around.
So anyway, I asked a lady in a purple shirt if I could move her carriage to get by and she kindly allowed me to, so I did, and when I was passed, I moved it to its original location.
Everything was fine right? Nope. The other woman, who had a neon green shirt and a safari-esque hat on, saw what had happened and decided she needed to push her cart sideways across the aisle and block me completely.
I started to ask her if I could move her carriage, and she interrupted with a loud ‘No!’ I can wait, I thought to myself, so I did. After a solid 10 minutes of fiddling around with my cart, cleaning it off a bit, and mopping a few marks on the floor, she finally started moving.
So, naturally, I had to follow her to proceed on my route. She did not like this at all.
It could’ve just been that she was having a bad day, or that she was an insufferable jerk to minimum wage employees.
One of these possibilities gets suddenly more probable later on.
I ended up following her into the next aisle with no ill intent whatsoever. She stepped aside to grab some Starbucks Cold Brew, and once again slung her carriage sideways across the aisle.
At this point I wanted to get past her or else all 20 aisles of the store would take my entire 7-hour shift. So, I moved her carriage, but then faithfully returned the carriage to its original spot. She whispered under her breath, and I speak this verbatim, ‘Jesus christ sorry for being in your damn way.’ It wasn’t the first time I had been berated by a customer (and this wasn’t even close to the worst, god forbid I accidentally ring someone’s gala apples as macintosh again), but this one was special because I figured I can drive her wild while just doing my job.
So I waited for my chance, and my chance came in 30 or so seconds with a voice over the intercom. ‘TheOnlySkinnyface, aisle 2, glass breakage.’
Wait a minute, that’s the aisle I’m already in, is it not? I looped around back through aisle 1 and came across the issue.
The lady had dropped a candle. Not a large cleanup, but very meticulous as glass on the floor is a big no, especially today seeing as our supervisor was there. I rang my manager and asked if I could just close that section of the aisle considering we had very few customers and worst case scenario I could grab something for them.
I ended up closing down this half of the aisle but seeing as it was one way, the lady was stuck. Due to the positioning of her cart, it would be quite difficult to turn it around and not hit another candle, so she straightened out towards me and waited.
Her: ‘Are you almost done?’
Me: ‘Not yet ma’am, this could be a minute. Our supervisor doesn’t take well to glass on the floor.’
Her: ‘Can I go through?’
I took my time, skipping out on using a broom and dustpan in favor of my gloved hands, individually picking out the glass.
The lady got more and more impatient, to the point where she started pushing her cart into the closed-off part of the aisle.
Me: ‘Ma’am I really cannot let you through, I apologize.’
Her: ‘Where’s your manager?’
Me: ‘He’s upfront near the checkout, but he was the one who authorized me to close this aisle anyway.
With all due respect, when I talk I don’t get work done, so please let me finish this up and you can get going.’
My manager suddenly appeared behind the lady, into the one-way aisle. Immediately the lady jumped on him.
Her: ‘Why is this aisle closed?’
Manager: ‘You dropped a candle and there’s glass everywhere. Due to safety concerns and the fact that ‘Supervisor’s name’ is here, we can’t risk letting you through.’
My manager then stepped over the glass and continued on his way, which made the lady furious.
Her: ‘So HE can go over but not ME?’
Me: ‘Yes ma’am. He works here and everything is covered had he gotten hurt.’
She went on a bit of a rant which truthfully I don’t remember well, but I do remember her threatening to sue me for wasting her time, which is quite funny to me considering she broke this candle in the first place.
Speaking of, I got the last of the glass off the ground, swept it up just to be safe, and opened up the aisle… kind of.
You see, when the candle broke, some wax of course got on the ground too, which now needed to be mopped (this confused me at the time.
How was the wax wet if the candle wasn’t lit? I still don’t have an answer.) So the aisle was open and the lady tried to push through, but I informed her that since the mop was already on the ground, it would be a liability to allow her through, so she would have to wait.
She whispered under her breath again.
Her: ‘What an idiot.’
Me: ‘I’m sorry I couldn’t hear you, what was that?’
Her: ‘Oh, nothing.’
I dried up the mopped area and she continued. I followed behind and passed her again in aisle 4, which is the chip aisle.
Here, one of the guys in the grocery had accidentally sliced too far through a box and ripped through a bag of chips and some crumbs had spilled. No bother, I just swept them up and went. While I was sweeping, apparently the lady came over, saw me, and backed up and waited.
I finished sweeping and, without moving my cart, I emptied the dustpan into the trash, which I guess took too long for the lady. She pushed my cart with her cart, knocking the mop bucket off and spilling it everywhere.
I just told her to please step back as it’s a liability and, instead of mopping it, I just used paper towels. Not the good ones though. I grabbed the roll I was gonna stock in the bathroom (The brown sandpaper ones) and just very slowly went to town on it.
It took forever, and the grocery guy just kept his pallet in the remaining space, once again leaving the lady trapped.
I kid you not, this cleanup took 20 minutes, but the lady never left. I don’t know if she just didn’t want to or wanted to obey the rules, but had she turned around and left, I probably wouldn’t have stopped her.
Instead, she started going on about how ‘minimum wage employees are so difficult, untrained, and rude to loyal, paying customers.’ We finally cleaned and dried the spill and I headed to the back to refill the bucket and change the mop-head.
I came back and ran my aisles, only to find her again in aisle 13, which is bread.
I’m not sure how many people have seen this, but there is a picture of a lady kneeling on bread. That’s exactly what this lady was doing.
I told her she can’t be on the bread, and if it’s damaged she would need to buy it (No really it was damaged, and no she didn’t really need to buy it, but I wasn’t in the mood to walk all the way to damaged and drop it there).
She refused, no surprise, so I put the bread on my cart and walked to damaged.
I came back, and she was gone… or so I thought. I was spot-mopping the ice section when she came over and asked where the produce section was.
Like literally the entire section. I told her it was one and two aisles over, and there were 8 sub-aisles to look through. She thanked me, but at the end of the aisle, tragedy struck. My broom accidentally maybe hit a bag of 20 lb ice, causing it to spill over the aisle.
Due to liability, I couldn’t let her through and I made sure she knew that. I started picking up the ice by hand, but the ice is slippery, which caused it to take quite a while. I finished and told her to wait one moment as I needed to dry it.
She. Completely. Lost it.
Screaming, yelling, like a 40-year-old lady having a fit over spilled milk (well, ice.) saying she would ‘never be coming back’ and we just ‘lost a loyal customer’ and how ‘minimum wage employees are the bane of stores.’ At this moment, the intercom.
‘TheOnlySkinnyface Dial /// or come to checkout’ I dialed the number and an assistant manager picks up. ‘Hey, someone shattered spaghetti sauce right outside the exit, we need you to clean it up.’ So, unfortunately, I couldn’t witness the entire meltdown, and she went out the other exit so I couldn’t delay her with the pasta sauce, unfortunately.
The moral of the story? We may be minimum wage workers, and we definitely act like it, trust me.”
24. Blame Me For Tanking Our Grade? I'll Leave A Fishy Surprise At Your Doorstep
“I took a debate class for gen ed. For our final, a topic was given to us and we had to debate with another pair about why our side is right. We got to argue that eating animal products is ethical, and veganism is not.
My partner I got paired up with…is vegan…like die-hard protestor PETA pride vegan…just my luck. So I told them that this is just for grade blah blah. They refused to do any of the work. So I gave them a script for their part as I just wanted to get my grade and be done with this jerk’s drama.
When the time for the debate came, I said my part and when her time came on she said like the first half of the sentence of the script I gave her and then started crying saying she’s sorry and she’s gonna fail cause I apparently refused to let her participate because she’s vegan blah blah.
She just hard threw me under the bus, when it was the other way around. I ended up getting a D on the final. I contacted the professor, she didn’t care. So I contacted the dean and showed him the text conversations and he made sure my grade got changed and hers stayed a D.
But I wasn’t done. I went fishing and got a tub of catfish that I caught (I’m not gonna give her the good fish) and made sure the hooks were still there, cut it up a little bit for added effects, and left it at her doorstep.
Not only that but I hid some eggs around the house so she will be focused on the fish, and the smell will come before it’s too late. I legit tolerated her so much and even did her part for her, and she really tried to screw me over. She messed with the wrong person.”
23. Refuse To Translate For Me? I'll Become A Better English Speaker Than You
“I learned English in less than a month.
I was 14 when we moved to Canada from Iran. I started going to school in Canada but whoops there was a problem. I DIDN’T KNOW ENGLISH! I knew 4 other languages but English.
Let me tell you, that year was my worst year in life.
Well, I went to school and the guidance counselor gave me gym class. I was like cool it would be the only class that I don’t really need to know English in order to get a good mark.
I was happy until I stepped into that class for the first time.
So what happened was that the teacher started explaining something but I didn’t know what was going on. The Iranian school system and Canadian one were soooooo different from each other.
I nearly wanted to cry because I didn’t have any friends and our teacher talked for one hour and I didn’t even understand one word.
When the teacher was done talking I heard a girl speaking Persian (a language that I know).
I got so so so happy and I went up to her. I asked her, ‘can you please tell me what is going on in here? This is my first day at school and I don’t know English.’
She responded to me with a really mad tone, ‘DO YOU WANT ME TO SPEND ONE HOUR TELLING YOU WHAT HE SAID?’
She really did break my heart BAD.
I was like ok it’s ok. You know, I was the coolest kid back in Iran and no one had ever been rude to me and it was my first time in life that I got a really rude and ugly answer from someone.
But I was confident and I didn’t care. I just moved on.
The problem started when every one of my classmates found out that I didn’t know English. Very surprisingly, the people who started bullying me by calling me bad names weren’t even native English speakers, they were the Persians who knew English.
Well, it became a habit for me to hear insults from my classmates. I tried not to care, but they made me lose my confidence and I didn’t even want to learn English anymore.
That same nasty girl from gym class bullied me every time she came up to me.
She said that I was an uneducated girl who cannot even learn English. BRUH this made me go bananas. I wanted to hit her so hard but in Canada, I could get in trouble if I did that.
I became so determined to learn English at that moment.
I started watching youtube 24/7. I was learning so fast and I was enjoying it. Two days later I met the love of my life – a Russian but Canadian-born guy. He asked to hang out with me every day for hours.
He was so nice and lovely but the problem was I couldn’t communicate with him. (Btw he is so good looking and we are still together lol). He got so sad that I couldn’t speak English and what he did was so sweet.
He tried to talk to me and when I didn’t understand a word he either explained the meaning of the word to me by showing me related physical actions or he opened a Persian dictionary so I could translate and learn.
He loved me and that was the reason why he tried sooooo hard for me to learn English. It may seem impossible, but it took me less than a month to start speaking English fluently. Nobody believed that I was the same person once I started showing off my language skills.
Well, I found the right time to find that ugly-faced girl. I found her and told her I speak five languages, what about you? You made fun of me for not knowing English, well here I am knowing English better than you do.
I also said some rude things in other languages to her and told her to learn those languages so she might be just good enough to hear some insults from me. Oh, that moment was nice.
Btw guys the same girl nearly failed math and asked for my help because I was a top student in mathematics.
Well, I reminded her of the day I asked her for help in gym class and she ignored me. I said the same thing to her that she had told me the day she ignored me. I told her, ‘DO YOU WANT ME TO SPEND ONE HOUR TELLING YOU WHAT HE SAID?'”
22. Mess With My Grades? I'll Mess With Your Paper Clips
“Junior year of high school, in trig class, I had this teacher who would always put our test scores on a sheet of paper at the back of the class and she would give us a few minutes to go look at them.
I never got up because I knew I did well and whether I got an A or A- wasn’t a big deal to me.
One day though I got a progress report, which we only got at my school if we were doing poorly in a class, and it said my trig grade dropped from the last test.
I knew I did well, so I went to talk to her about it. It turns out it was a typo in the system (one that was obviously intentional, she entered a 98 as a 9.8 and decimals were not necessary for that program) and she said, ‘Maybe that’s why you should check your grade when I put them up.’ Whoa.
So, every test day she leaves a basket of paper clips right next to where we were to turn the test in so we can attach any extra credit slips we may have gotten to said test. Every test day she says, ‘One paper clip per customer!’ I started taking whole handfuls of paper clips and stuffing them in my pockets.
I was good at this and nobody knew it was me. We had tests pretty often and she had to keep buying paper clips and kept threatening the class, offering rewards to whoever tattled, promising not to be angry if they’d confess.
She was getting annoyed and I could tell it was driving her wild. So I saved these paper clips for the rest of the year and I cut them into tiny pieces with wire cutters and I put them in a box and left them on her desk while she was gone on the last day of school. I won.”
21. My Goodbye Gift To The Jerk Was A Pair Of My Smelliest Socks
“I was a non-traditional student at BYU in Provo, Utah, and was different from the rest of the kids on campus because I was not Mormon. Some of the kids played pranks on me, like plugging in a vacuum cleaner in front of my dorm room and running away, or knocking loudly on my door and escaping.
I felt like I was being picked on because I was non-Mormon and 10 years older than everybody else. It was pretty rough on me.
One guy, I think his name was Vinnie or Vince or something like that…he was the instigator.
He would go to the bathroom and sing very loudly at 11 pm at night. My dorm room was next to the bathroom, and since I picked the school for academic reasons, it was annoying. Vince got several others to go along with his pranks.
I followed proper procedures to report his behavior and the director of our dorm did not believe me. She said, ‘Oh, no. It couldn’t be Vinnie; he’s such a sweet kid.’ I was shocked how much of a two-faced guy he was, that people didn’t see his true colors.
I had some sweaty socks stored in a plastic bag in the trunk of my car for months. I had forgotten they were there and when I discovered them, I opened the bag and took a whiff, and WHEW, they were the stinkiest, most nasty, and foul-smelling thing I had ever experienced! I stored it in my closet, too scared to even clean them.
During the last day of the semester, I see Vinnie and his family helping him move his stuff out from his dorm room, into the hallway, and downstairs to his car. During one of the trips, I saw he had a stack of items sitting in the hallway, including a sleeping bag.
When the coast was clear, I took the nasty rotting socks, put in my winter gloves, and stuffed the plastic bag into his sleeping bag, and removed the plastic bag the socks were in. My hope is that the socks would ferment longer and that one day, months from that date, he would go camping and find himself sleeping in a stinky sleeping bag.”
20. Let Your Party Guests Use My Driveway? I'll Make Sure They Feel Right At Home
“I had a neighbor that threw weekend parties with a dozen or so guests, but only had a 1-car driveway (the garage had been turned into another bedroom) and room for 2 cars in front of their house, if they parallel parked (legally), or about 4 if they illegally perpendicular parked (partially blocking the street, which they did often with no consequences).
I had a 2 car wide, 3 car deep driveway, and over 120 feet of street frontage, set back significantly more than my neighbors so I could park perpendicular without blocking the street. I would come out and find cars parked either entirely in or halfway in my driveway, but rarely along the street in front of the house.
No amount of asking would get them to stop, and since the cars were not on the street if they blocked my driveway I would have to pay for a tow company to come out as it was a civil matter.
Well, one day the offending driver left their SUV in my driveway with the sunroof and windows open.
So I proceeded to wash my cars in a very wet manner. Even though they were partying right next door, no one came out to close the windows or say anything.
I got bored and I guess they just had to deal with wet buns when they left.
Did that get the point across? Nope. Next party, same thing. A different car blocked half my driveway. They parked right next to my hedge that separated the 2 yards… so I proceeded to do some long-overdue hedge trimming.
Their car was quite camouflaged in laurel branches when I was done, as I just left them where they fell. That time I ended up with laurel branches all over my driveway, but again, no one said anything.
Next party I had gone somewhere and came home to a driveway half full of cars that weren’t mine.
I’d taken my full-size chevy truck and 20′ flatbed trailer, which had left a rather large opening in my driveway that the party attendants proceeded to fill. A chevy with a 20′ trailer is much, much longer than my driveway was wide so I just parked it across my own driveway, blocking 3 of them in.
That ended up with the Sheriff’s department knocking on my door, asking me to move my truck so they could leave. No one got any citations, since again… civil matter due to it being private property (trespass would only count if there was criminal intent).
But they did stop parking in my driveway.
Even with all that, they were still better neighbors than their predecessors.
In any case, I moved not too long after that. Now I’m separated from my closest neighbor by a horse pasture. Much better.”
19. Ruin Our Pool Day? We'll Force You To Leave The Area
“When my twin sister and I were much younger than we are now, our mom used to take us to the town pool. This place was huge and had a huge sand area. My sister and I are minding our own business when, all of a sudden, these really loud kids start making lots of noise and throwing sand everywhere.
So my twin and I lock eyes and silently agree to do something about this. I grab our bucket and get some water, pouring it on the sand and forming hard sand balls. Soon we have a whole bucket full of said sand balls.
And we immediately try to peddle these sandballs, offering one free trial. The loud kids are the first to get some, and one throws it at the other. Immediately the kid bursts into tears, and a frantic mother runs out onto the sand, screaming and yelling at the kid who threw the sandball.
Said Sandball thrower looks around for us, but we’ve left our bucket and ran off to where our own mother was sitting, eating our lunches. The mother and two kids pack up and leave, and we have a nice day at the pool.”
18. Won't Pay Us? I'll Leave You With More Problems Than Just My "Bad Attitude"
“I use to work for a franchise cell phone repair store. This store was kinda trashy, and the training was next to none, so you kinda had to learn as you go.
Every Monday morning, we’d have a meeting before the store opened, and it was over zoom.
And it would include every franchise that was located in my state.
If you weren’t scheduled to work on Monday, you were still required to go.
On one Monday, when I was scheduled off, I woke up early to attend the meeting and I clocked in, attended the meeting, then clocked out.
Simple enough, until I got an email from HR asking why I had a time punch from Monday. I responded with ‘well we had a mandatory meeting, and by law, if you’re requiring us to attend a meeting, then you are required to compensate us for that time.’ HR didn’t like that because ‘it’s only 15 minutes, and it’s not much time.’
I stayed firm with my response, and I normally worked Monday’s so it wasn’t brought up for a while.
Until we had a surprise meeting at 10:30 am, I wasn’t scheduled till 11, and it took me 30 minutes to get to work.
When I arrived, I was informed I missed the meeting. I responded with ‘I apologize, I was driving and wasn’t on the clock.’ Again, they didn’t like my willingness to be at a required meeting while not clocked in.
At this point, I had a feeling that they didn’t want me there and began to cut my hours. And I could tell they didn’t want me there because I saw my position advertised on indeed. So come Monday, I was terminated due to ‘attitude’ and that I was not in line with the company’s policy.
Rather than report them to the department of labor, I waited an additional four months to make sure that they built up the number of unpaid labor times by all the employees. And then report it, and while I didn’t hear back from the department of labor, I did hear that they owed a significant amount to current and former employees.”
Another User Comments:
“Good on you! I did something similar.
The employer got mad when I didn’t want to work the summer sessions for far less pay as it wasn’t in my contract so they let me go. They also fought my unemployment and won (the state said they offered a position and it didn’t matter if it was out of contract or far less pay).
I filed NLRB and the state labor board regarding not getting breaks and lunches (verifiable as we had to clock in and out electronically). I got about a $6000 check and most other employees got checks. I named my washer and dryer after that employer.” illgetyouatoe
17. Pee On Our Tent? I'll Send It Back Over To You
“At my first year at scout camp, we all slept in tents. I was quite happy to be with my best friend in his brand new tent. One morning I was waking up when I heard a very particular noise.
It was the sound of another guy in my troop taking a leak. Normally it wouldn’t be so loud, but Jeff was peeing right on our tent.
He was less than 50′ away from a latrine and less than 15′ away from any tree.
Even peeing straight down onto the ground would have been a fine option.
I recall saying something like, ‘Hey man, what the heck?’ and just getting a grunted reply. As if I was causing him a great inconvenience. To return the favor, I flicked the inside of the tent very hard, sending back his own pee. He was completely incredulous. He kicked the tent and stomped off covered in a fine mist of his own shame.”
16. Put Me On Hold When I Can Clearly See You're Not Busy? I'll Annoy The Life Out Of You
“Sitting at the local fast food joint across from an auto parts store waiting for my food. Had called the AP store a few moments before arriving at FFJ to inquire about an alternator for my vehicle. Was put on hold and remained that way.
Sure, no problem.
However, I soon put two and two together and realized that dude had put me on hold literally just to hang out with a few friends of his that had stopped by. I could see him clear as day yucking it up with his buddies out front of the store.
I also noticed him smoking and immediately light up another one…while I was still on hold! Cue petty revenge.
So while watching to see what he would do, I hung up and literally called back five times. I could see into the AP store very well from where I was sitting, so I deliberately timed it so just as he got to the phone to answer, I would hang up.
Could see him getting angrier and angrier when he literally had to walk all the way across the store to answer the phone. I stopped calling back when he sent another worker I didn’t know was there to deal with the phone while he sat outside. But for just a few moments, my petty little revenge felt SO good!”
15. Mess Around With Another Woman? I'll Mess With Your Precious Motorcycle
“After being married for 24 years, my mom found out her husband (my dad) was messing around with another woman. She was hurt and just downright angry.
My dad had a silver wing motorcycle. They had only made like three years of this particular kind.
He had it all chromed out. It looked nice. Until, my mom got ahold of it, anyway! She cut all the wires. Antifreeze leaked everywhere. The motorcycle was ruined.
He had ‘had’ an older speed boat. She spray-painted the sides.
Ran his truck into the garage door. Tore shingles off his yard barn. And threw his clothes on the back lawn.
It was a wild time to still live at home. I was a freshman in Highschool. Needless to say, life was pretty wild at that time. But, when all was said and done- we all managed to live through it.”
14. If Your Boss Ever Doubts You, Prove Them Wrong
“I had a boss many years ago and when I asked him a question once, he laughed at me remarking that a person with my experience shouldn’t have to ask that sort of question.
Years later he came for an interview and I was asked if I knew him.
I said he was not a nice person. He didn’t get the job.
Another boss said that he thought of me as an archaeologist, he said that ‘my career was in ruins.’
He invited me to a meeting as an observer.
When we all were seated, he turned to me and said that since I had called the meeting, that he was handing things over to me. Without comment, I successfully ran the meeting and was commended by the visitors for a very profitable meeting.
My boss didn’t say a thing and I left without saying a thing to him. But inwardly, I was furious.”
13. Stink As Neighbors? I'll Leave A Stinky Scent On Your Property
“My wife and I had this lesbian couple who were our next-door neighbors. From the moment they moved in they were just plain nasty as neighbors. They did not get along with any of the neighbors on our court.
Even the lesbian couple on the other side, with who we were good friends, didn’t get along with them.
After one particularly bad encounter with them, I sought revenge. I went on the internet looking for something bad smelling that I could put over the fence into their yard.
I found skunk essence. It is used by hunters to mask their scent. I bought a vial of it on eBay. So my way of getting even was whenever we would be gone for a day or more, I’d put a few drops over the fence. It would dissipate before we came home but would have a lovely skunk smell for hours.
As they say, don’t get mad, get even.”
12. Too Afraid To Break The Jerk's Heart? Leave It To Me
“This one guy I was in the same class as in grade 6 called me fat, told his friends I was fat, and always laughed at me really loudly whenever I would walk into the room.
Three years later in grade 9, turns out he’s been head over heels for one of my friends since they were 5.
He finally plucks up the courage to ask her out. Of course, she comes to me and asks for advice on how to turn him down nicely and after some talk, she decides to ask me to turn him down for her.
I walk up to him in front of all his friends and promptly tell him that she said no. Being in front of his friends, he takes it calmly (or appeared to), which upsets me. So I proceed to tell him that she thought he was a really uneducated loser and didn’t even know why he thought she would even like him as a friend. He cried.
Funnily enough, graduating year, I apologize to him in front of the entire grade.”
11. Make Me Join The Water Fight? Fine, But I'm Going To Add Ice
“When I was a wee lad, my dad was shipped out to Iraq. I was over a few days ago and he started telling me stories from his time over there.
One day out in the desert, the sun was beating down and his platoon decided to have a water fight to cool off.
My dad decided to not participate and stood off to the side and didn’t even try to touch any of the buckets. All of a sudden, Private Duncan (also known as ‘uneducated kid’ to his platoon) came out of nowhere and just drenched my dad.
‘What heck man!’ My dad yelled to which Duncan responded, ‘oh I thought you were playing?’
‘Does it look like I was playing? I’ve been standing over here the whole time!’ Dad responded, and then once the kid walked away my dad started to fill up a bucket to get even with him.
Then the sergeant came out and yelled for everyone to cut it out and stop wasting water, so my dad decided to wait to deal his revenge.
In the dead of night, my dad forced himself awake, and filled up a bucket with ice water, went over to Duncan’s cot, and poured the water all over him. Soaking his clothes and his bed. ‘What the heck man!’ Duncan yelled as he awoke.
‘Oh, I thought you were playing?’ My dad responded and then walked away.”
10. Don't Like The Packaging? Fine, Then Pay The Return Shipping Fee
“I run a business selling Fire and EMS supplies. Because this crosses over into some Civilian education (CPR training) we have quite a few civilian customers.
One of them has only placed 2 orders with us for 2 years. The order is for CPR training valves.
These are plastic pieces that go on the Face mask for Mouth to Mask training. They are cheap alternatives to using the actual one-way valves that come with the mask.
They used to come 10 to a box and just sat loose in the box.
The manufacturer changed the packaging to be more hygienic. They come in a sealed ziplock-style bag and are individually wrapped.
This customer places a 2 order with us a full year and a half after her first. A good year into the packaging change over.
She orders 1600 of these valves.
We don’t keep that many in stock so we have them drop-shipped from the manufacturer.
2 weeks after they are delivered we get a phone call from the buyer. We sent her a completely different item and this is not what she wanted.
She wanted a full refund and for us to pay for return shipping.
I ask her what is wrong with the product.
She states they come in bags and she wants them in a box. I explain they don’t come in a box anymore.
This woman doubles down and insists I am screwing with her.
I ask why she insists on having them in a box.
She says this way she can just put them on the table and have people pick one out as they grab the other training material.
(UGH talk about unhygienic).
I explain to her that she can just take them out of the bags and put them in a shoebox or any box and still accomplish the same thing.
Nope, she wants them in a box and if I can’t send them in a box then she wants her money back.
I again explain that no manufacturer offers them in a box anymore, they all went to the more hygienic packaging.
This woman is being a complete jerk so I do something I never do. In writing, we state our return policy is they pay a 20% restocking fee for all returns.
Again I have in 15 years (at the time) never enforced this policy. I have also never encountered such a raging jerk.
Since the item is not defective I told her I would not refund shipping either, and she could pay for return shipping.
This foolish woman said fine they were useless anyway.
This foolish woman lost $350 in shipping had to pay another $350 to ship it to me and had over a $400 restocking fee.
In the end, it cost her almost $1200 and she had nothing to show for it.
Some Petty revenge. I then just sold off the inventory now with a little extra inventory on each.”
Another User Comments:
“I used to work at McDonald’s and one time this lady came inside asking for a refund because our happy meals were in bags instead of boxes due to not having any.
They were still bags specifically meant for happy meals but she wanted the box. I was at the table making sandwiches and when I was told the situation I loudly said, ‘wow, she really wants a refund just because we don’t have the boxes?’ I had assumed she was in the drive-thru, but I was very wrong.
She heard me obviously and yelled at me saying ‘YES I WANT A REFUND BECAUSE YOU DON’T HAVE THE DAMN BOX.’ My manager fixing it hit my arm and told me to keep my mouth shut and I was like oh damn I shouldn’t have said that. Lol, people are wild.” Alice_wanders17
9. Think You Can Keep My Netflix Account After The Way You Treated Me? Not A Chance
“I was head-over-heels in love with my partner of eight months, I was willing to do almost anything for him and he knew it. I ended up getting taken advantage of pretty badly.
I was doing everything for this guy from job hunting, to applying for scholarships, to spotting him rent, to being his legal aid when he almost got evicted.
Despite that he constantly made me feel like I wasn’t doing enough for him and when I would say ‘no’ to lending him more he’d keep asking until I said yes.
The final straw for me was when my aunt died over Christmas, and my bursary money for university got cut so I could no longer pay for my textbooks and I had to make up some of my tuition.
That very same week he asked me to pay for his rent again; I finally pulled my head out of my butt and broke up with him.
I noticed weeks after the breakup that he was still logged in and using my Netflix!! I never even gave him the password so for weeks he had probably just kept the tab open on his desktop.
When I vented to my friend about it she told me about the feature in settings where you can log out of all the devices that are connected to Netflix. Minutes after she told me I frantically clicked into my Netflix settings, begrudgingly logging out every single device the Netflix was on.
A few days later when I went to go and get my stuff from his place, he called me out for logging him out of Netflix. He said: ‘I wish you wouldn’t have treated me like a freeloading jerk, I was going to log out myself.’
It takes one to know one honey.
You might have been able to get away with freeloading off me for eight months but no one is allowed to steal my Netflix.”
Another User Comments:
“Good for you! I did this to my terrible narcissistic ex too. I worked for a cable company and had all the premium channels for free, so I logged into the apps on his smart TV and let him use them.
Also logged in with prime. Well surprise, one day he started his regular nonsense of picking a fight over nothing and refusing to talk to me. Guess who remotely logged out of every single account and never logged back in.
It feels good, doesn’t it.” femmefatalx
Another User Comments:
“Not only did I change the password on our Netflix…. I set all his viewing preferences to G-rated movies only and he needs an additional password to even get into his profile.
You’re not going to bring your partner home and not expect your wife to react.” Bobo_LilyBell
Another User Comments:
“Here’s my petty revenge Netflix-related story: I had access to my ex’s Netflix account while we were seeing each other but he forgot to kick me off the account after we broke up.
On the part where his name was, I changed it to ‘LYING TWO-TIMING LOSER’. He’s completely computer illiterate so he didn’t know how to change it and was stuck with the name. I would love to have seen the faces of all the women he brought home to Netflix & chill with after they saw his new screen name.” Revolutionary-Fox486
8. Want To Take A Power Nap During Work? Not On My Watch
“I was working on my monthly manpower report. In the report, I forgot to add one contract employee as he was not a part of our employee database.
After sharing the employee database with my boss, I realized that I had made a mistake.
But he shouted at me very badly. It was my mistake so I just couldn’t say anything.
But I felt that he exaggerated the issue so I wanted to take some revenge.
My boss had a habit of taking power naps from 3:00 PM to 3:30 PM.
Many seniors used to make fun of him for this habit of his and he was very scared that someday, his boss would get to know about his napping habit. So he used to sleep with a lot of fear in his mind.
Out of fear, he decided to hold a newspaper in his hand and go to sleep, so that if anyone enters his room he can act like he’s reading a newspaper.
After getting heat from my boss in the morning, I was sad.
The devil in me woke up while my boss was taking his power nap in his partially seen glass cabinet.
I walked to the pantry, lifted a steel plate, and dropped it on the floor, outside his cabinet. The sudden sound made him scared and he lost his sleep.
He cannot shout at me for this.
This is the pettiest revenge I have taken and this gave me peace.”
7. Take My Office? I'll Control Your Computer's CD Tray
“A couple of years into the first real job I ever had, I hired a jerk. He was good, so I hired him. Being a jerk, he sucked up to the owner, and within a week he’d taken my job and my office.
I installed some ‘prank’ software on his computer that, among other things, allowed me to remotely open his cd tray. I did this several times a day for the remaining six months I was at the job. He kept telling people about how weird it was (I could hear him from my new office) that his cd tray never opened when anyone else was around. Muahahahahahah.”
6. Keep Feeding The Pigeons And I'll Cover Your Lawn In Dog Poop
“My neighbor fed the pigeons, so we had a LOT of pigeons pooping all over my house and yard. Such nuisances! What kind of birds lay eggs on pitched roofs?!
Anyway, a month or two before we left that house, I saved up my dogs’ poop, and the night before we left, I threw it all over her yard.
I also posted flyers on the mailboxes explaining if anyone had pigeon issues to call her. Had to repost them when she tore them down.
I didn’t get caught in any manner. I fully intended for her to know who did it.”
5. Take Advantage Of Our Relationship? I'm Going To Finally Move On
“I had a friend in college who routinely stepped out on her partner. Not only that, but she told me that she got busted by him every time.
He was remarkably patient with her, but finally, they had had enough of each other, and he moved out.
Shortly after they split up, she came over to his house with a bottle of booze and found him in bed with another woman.
She was so mad, she broke the bottle on his car windshield as she left.
This was after they broke up. After months of her two-timing him.
I imagine he thought it was well worth the broken windshield to get her karma back at her.”
4. Use My Parking Space? I'll Cover Your Door Handles In Honey
“I lived in an apartment complex for 8 years. I am partially disabled and have handicap plates on my vehicle. Upon request, the apartment complex painted and marked off an extra handicap space for me. There was already another handicap space in the same area, so they had 2 in the same area, after creating one for me.
The tenant who used the original spot decided they preferred the new spot and began parking there. No big deal, but they later began parking over the line so I could use neither space. Requests from the complex yielded no improvement in the situation.
So, in the evenings, I’d put on a disposable glove, and pour a handful of honey. I adorned all the door handles with sticky grossness, then squirreled petroleum jelly on the windshield. The parking issue ceased to be an issue.
Mysteriously, shortly that tenant moved away.
A month or so later, someone without handicap tags began to park a land yacht straddling the line. I treated this visitor to the same car accents. But the apartment complex didn’t recognize the tag number.
It was likely a guest. They’d leave that tank parked badly for up to a week. I was looking to buy a house but determined to get even. I bought myself a full-sized SUV and used my car, and SUV to occupy both spots. Problem solved! The complex removed both handicap spots when I moved out.”
3. Wild Car Battle Turns Messy
“I worked at Starbucks near Washington DC. I was in the fast lane and a guy in a BMW comes into my lane. When I honk, he keeps coming and then gives me the finger. I am not normally aggressive and wasn’t back then, but I did not have any way to let him in, I had not done anything to him.
Stick shift, pass and get in front of him. It felt better. Guy gets next to me and starts laughing at me and saying stuff to me. By this time I tell him he was in the wrong, all while going 70 mph.
He then zooms in front of me and hits the brakes. Now I am emotionally hijacked. It turns into a battle for the others’ insurance. Slamming on brakes. parking brakes. Wild. I am so angry but so scared and then I slow down in the slow lane.
He is in front of me and slows too.
I am now going 30 miles an hour. The highway is going 70-80. The guy is getting next to me and trying to get in front of me continuously. Smiling the entire time.
Laughing and saying nonsense to me. I see my chance. I roll my window down. Yell, ‘Hey’ and chuck one of those 1990’s-sit-on-the-dash wide-mouthed Starbuck’s commuter mugs right at the car. It slams into the right quarter panel, I slam on the brakes, exit off the highway, and get lost for 30 minutes trying to find my way back home and work out the nerves from the ordeal.
The thing I remember most. His face. It was out of a movie. Slow-mo ‘ohh, damn.’ I see the dent barely as I brake and get off the exit before the big orange barrier. His face goes from mockery to absolute horror. It was because of me. Petty, yes. Satisfying, still get goosebumps thinking about it as I write.”
2. Ignore Me? Here's A Special Perfume So You Never Forget Me
“When my best friend was around 15, she and the love of her life had been talking via MySpace for quite a while. He visited Florida (he lived in Texas) with his family and they all stayed at her house.
Now during the entire visit, he did not talk to her, not once. This confused and angered her, and broke her heart. So she decided to get revenge. She had one of her friends pee in a cup, then dunked his toothbrush in the cup.
She put the rest of the urine in an empty spray bottle and sprayed urine on the clothes that were in his suitcase.
He knows now. He was her first partner. They’ve been married for almost 6 years now.”
1. I Scared My Ex-Friend Into Thinking He Has A Stalker
“I have a friend (ex-friend) that lived close to me, he is an ex-friend because he decided to sleep with my (now) ex-partner while we were seeing each other. A while ago (before the stuff happened) this friend decided to buy an iPhone and have me help him set it up.
Well, part of that entailed me knowing his ‘iCloud/Find My iPhone’ password. This of course means that I can easily locate him at any time I want to, any time of day. So, here is where the fun comes in.
I have moved since and live about 1000 miles away, and never speak to said individual, but…
I will locate him on some random day of the week, a few times a day. After the workday comes to a close I will spend a few bucks and order a pizza for him.
I call his ‘local pizza place’ and agree to pay a few extra bucks to have the guys write a few words on the inside of the pizza box. (It’s a small town so I still know most of these people from high school.) I ask them to write a few locations he has been throughout the day, followed by ‘I LIKE WATCHING YOU’ at the end. Even though we are not friends, we still exist as ‘friends’ on social media… I love watching his random status’ on those days that I decide to mess with him from 1000 miles away.
… SWEET BLISS!”