People Defend Their Reputation By Telling Their "Am I The Jerk?" Stories

"For my 24th birthday, my dad got me a grey metal KitchenAid stand mixer for my apartment.

It was about $700 I think. However, I did NOT ask for this and honestly, I freaking hate the color as it does not match anything in my place and it's also too big. I gave it to my friend who liked it and was moving to a different state. My partner then got me a cute black stand mixer that fits into my apartment a lot better so that's what I have.

My dad was over last night and he noticed that the grey stand mixer was gone and replaced by the black one.

He asked where it was and I told him the truth (namely, that I thought the grey was ugly so I gave it to my friend and my partner got me the black one instead).

My dad was shocked and said the grey stand mixer had cost a lot and that he thought I would have liked it so that's why he gave it to me as a present.

Maybe here's where I am the jerk: I said if he would have been more observant, he would have known that I absolutely hate the color grey (it's my least favorite color) and everyone in my life who knows me knows that.

I honestly wasn't trying to be rude, I was just stating a fact.

But my mom called me today and told me I really hurt my dad and need to apologize for 'throwing away' a thoughtful birthday gift my dad had put a lot of money and thought into.

I don't think that's necessary, I think after my dad gave me the stand mixer, it became mine and I could do anything with it.

And I didn't 'throw it away', I gave it to a friend.

So AITJ?"

Another User Comments:

"YTJ. He got you a very thoughtful and expensive gift and you just gave it away because it doesn’t match your stuff. Okay. Could have maybe told him up front you wouldn’t use it so he could get his money back.

I can understand if you didn’t want to hurt his feelings by doing that so let’s just skip past that part. Down the line when he asks about it you lash out at him and make him feel like he doesn’t know you or care enough to learn what you actually like and basically ANYONE else would have known that you would HATE that gift. After he got you such a generous gift? Really? What a spoiled brat." IWouldLikeAVacation

Another User Comments:

"YTJ

You may not like the color, but you were ungrateful for the gift. You should have told him as soon as you received the gift that the color wasn't one you would be able to live with, and you should have exchanged it for a color you liked, or for a model that was smaller if that was also an issue.

You handled the situation rudely.

'I honestly wasn't trying to be rude, I was just stating a fact.'

Just because you were being factual, it doesn't mean you weren't being rude.

'I said if he would have been more observant, he would have known that I absolutely hate the color grey (it's my least favorite color) and everyone in my life who knows me knows that.'

That hurt him.

The world does not revolve around you. Even though some people in your life may know you don't like the color, not everyone is hanging off every peep that comes out of your mouth and storing your comments for future reference.

Somehow your dad missed the detail that you don't like grey.

Your mom is right. Apologize to your dad." Ghitit

Another User Comments:

"Ok, so, while it is true that you can do whatever you want with a gift after it is given, that doesn't mean that you are free from the consequences of that action.

You admit that this was not an insignificant gift. You do in fact want a stand mixer since you have a different one now. This gift came from someone who was going to notice if it disappeared, and who you expect to have a relationship with moving forward.

The best approach to this would be to talk to your dad and let him know that you a) couldn't fit this large of a stand mixer in your apartment b) strongly disliked the color and c) asked if you and he could return this one and get one better suited to your needs.

And thank him for the thought. Then your dad's not out the money, your partner is not out the money for the second mixer, and no one's feelings are hurt.

Instead, you decided to pitch a fit, not communicate, hurt your dad's feelings and damage your relationship with both your parents.

Congratulations, YTJ. Use your words next time." Cryptographer_Alone