People Spill The Time They Were Determined To Get Revenge
40. Need Me To Come In With My Deceased Husband? If You Say So
“My revenge is against Comcast. It’s always been a love-hate relationship. They raise your rates every moment they can, you have to reboot all the time. When you ask for a reasonable reduction in your bill, they hardly will give an inch. My cable bill was in my husband’s name. Things happen in life, and you never expect it will be you. Jeffrey passed away in a work-related accident.
I needed to put the bills in my name.
Comcast said, we can’t do that, it could be fraud, and that Jeffery would have to come in with me. I explained that he was dead, no longer paying bills or writing checks. I was paying the Comcast bill. Comcast told me I would have to bring papers in to prove he was dead and I was in charge of that address.
Then they asked me to pay that month’s bill.
I had a month to decide what to do. I have a wicked streak in me that I think is humorous, but others have not found me funny. I planned my next trip to Comcast, which is about a mile away. I picked up Jeffrey’s ashes from the funeral home. He was in a box in a shopping bag with the crematory name in fancy letters.
We walked into Comcast and took a service number from the machine and we sat down and waited for our turn. When our number was called we went to the counter to talk with the Comcast clerk. I set Jeffrey’s bag on the counter and when the young lady asked how could she help me, I replied,
‘This is Jeffery, (pointing to bag) He is dead. He can’t write checks anymore.
He’s dead. I need to pay my Comcast bill, but the account isn’t in my name.’
I was watching my clerk’s face, her mouth made a perfect round O shape, she was speechless and studdering, ‘Yes mam, yes mam. I need to get the manager.’ All the color had drained out of her and she looked grayish. I watched as she waved her hands in the air while talking to a man in the back.
After a few minutes, he came out to my counter and said, ‘I’m going to get this all straightened out for you.’ He did and after typing on the computer for 5 minutes he said, ‘It’s in your name now.’
I thanked him, picked Jeffrey up off the counter, and walked out. I got to my car and was laughing so hard I couldn’t drive. We went home. I told Jeff that I finally had gotten back at Comcast.
As a side note, I switched to ATT shortly after that because my bill went up. I told my ATT installer the story. He laughed and told me he couldn’t wait to tell his boss, best customer story he ever heard.”
39. Refuse To Pay Me? I'll Quit And Leave You With A Password You Can't Crack
“This happened during one of the most struggling days in my life. I was doing my graduation in 1997 when my dad’s company closed down for some awful reasons.
So, there I was 16 years old doing college and no money for me or my family. As I had done computer courses in my school and secondary high school days, I was well versed with Word, Excel, and primitive coding languages (Basic, COBOL, C).
An accountant contacted me for freelancing work of migrating his book accounts to Excel for 500 Rs (6.66 $) per month. As I was in dire need of money I agreed and it was settled that I will work from evening 6 to 9 every day at his house.
So, I used to travel every day to his house which was about 19 – 20 KM’s via bus which itself was costing me 100 Rs per month.
I worked for him for 35 days and there was no sign of payment, when asked he used to say let’s tally this particular worksheet then we will talk (BTW tallying was not part of the deal only migrating was).
There came a point that I ran out of funds to even travel by bus. I told him the situation to which he replied that he was sorry and currently he was out of cash and will pay me tomorrow for sure.
Disappointed I left for home just thinking at the bus stop of how can I reach home, just when I saw my employer buying goods at a shop just in front of the bus stop. The tipping point of my anger was when I saw him paying the shopkeeper with a 500 Rs note and 5 mins before he said he had no money for me.
That day I kept my cool and walked about 2 ½ hours to my home hungry and dejected. The next day I borrowed some funds from my neighbor’s and visited the accountant like nothing happened. I then zipped all the work I had done so far with a 14 digit password. When asked for payment I got the same reply sorry tomorrow, to which I replied I won’t be coming in tomorrow as I had enough.
The employer said in that case you won’t get anything from me as there was no written contract, to which I said fine and left.
The next day employer realized what had happened and called me up for the password for zip files, to which I said what work and who are you? He started cursing me and told me that you think you are smart enough I will get it cracked blah blah, I said best of luck and cut him off.
After a week he again called me up and said that he realized his mistake and to please provide him the password as all his client accounts which were tallied were locked. I said kindly send me a money order for 36 days of work, once received I will provide him the password. The next day he personally came to my home to give me money and asked me what happened all of the sudden. I narrated the incident at the bus stop and his face went pale. He said sorry for what happened earlier to which I said let bygones be bygones but don’t take advantage of others’ forcedness and gain from it. I gave him the password he wanted and hoped he learned a lesson from this…”
38. Mistreat Your Assistant? Get A Pie In Your Face
“This happened to me when I was 19 years old. I got a job as the director of a youth soccer league. The job was only for 2 months. Still, I had, what I thought, some nice perks. I had an ‘office’ in the basement of the city hall. It was really a converted storage room with no door on the entrance. I even had my own ‘secretary,’ a woman named Gloria who was in her early 30s.
She was assigned to help me with typing, copying, ordering, and anything else I might need help with. She also worked full-time for the city. For the entire 2 months, I treated her more like a slave than a secretary. Several times, I could tell that she was angry with me for ordering her around. But, she kept quiet. After all, I was technically her ‘boss.’
My final day came and Gloria’s servitude to me ended at noon.
A couple of minutes before then, she came into my office holding a brown paper grocery bag. She set the bag on my desk. She told me how thankful she was to be done working with me. Gloria looked at her watch and began counting down the final seconds. When she reached zero, she reached inside the bag and removed a large chocolate mousse cream pie.
She stood over me, holding the pie in her hand for just a second. Then, Gloria smashed the cream pie right in my face!! As I sat slumped in my chair with the pie buried in my face, Gloria let out all of her pent-up anger and frustration. She told me exactly what she thought of me and didn’t hold back anything. When she was done chewing me out, she walked out of the room. I learned a valuable lesson that day about how to treat people I work with. I did apologize to her for how I had treated her. She accepted my apology, but she wasn’t sorry for what she did to me. In fact, she thoroughly enjoyed smashing a cream pie in my face! For Gloria, revenge was definitely sweet!”
37. Think I'm A Bad Drummer? Maybe You'll Change Your Mind After Hearing My Band
“As a drummer for nearly 40 years, my trouble with the neighbors was always over the noise. As I acquired some skill the friction wasn’t as severe. I tried to practice when the neighbors were at work but even then somebody would inevitably get irritated.
One time I had the practice room in the basement. A band member had helped me set up a basic home recording studio so we could make demos.
None of the local clubs would hire a band without a sample of their recording music. My bandmates and I had insulated everything so you could only hear a low rumble outside. But the neighbor liked country music and we were just a bunch of metalheads. The problem was my bandmates didn’t take any disrespect from rednecks and some of my neighbor’s friends had started calling us derogatory names.
That neighbor called the police on us multiple times. But the police couldn’t do anything. The officer would just come by and tell us the neighbors called and complained. We weren’t in violation of any laws. They usually said we sounded good. One officer said it wasn’t that loud and asked if I had some other dispute with the neighbor. There was none that I knew of other than he just didn’t like my type.
My neighbor was divorced but had 3 teenagers. One of his sons used to stare at me like he wanted to come over and check out my drums. Although it could have been that I always had a pair of drumsticks in hand and often walked around practicing twirling them. Somebody told me that you can’t just be a good musician. You have to be entertaining to watch.
My revenge was like a gift of payback from the universe. I had tried to work out a schedule with the neighbor but he just wanted to threaten me with violence. He was only trying to intimidate me and it wasn’t working.
One weekend my band was playing an outdoor charity event. It was in a vacant parking lot next to a huge flea market, which was having an art and craft fair.
There were a few bands and we got to headline because we had an incredibly good yet slightly insane guitarist. He lived alone with 5 horses. He talked a lot about alien abduction and alien control of the human population. But when you put a guitar in his he didn’t seem so out there after all. He had one of the most extensive vocabularies on his instrument that I had ever heard.
We took the stage and our set was going great. Then I happen to spot my neighbor and he didn’t look at all happy. He was there with what looked like his ex, her new significant other, and his 3 children. I’m sure they were at the art and craft fair and the kids wanted to check out the music. There he was in the crowd.
Actually hearing for the first time what he had so vehemently opposed. At the end of each song, his family applauded with others in the crowd. Imagine the feeling I had when I realized my neighbor was in absolute misery at that moment. It was easier for him to hate me when he thought I didn’t know anything about music.
After the set was the best part.
My neighbor’s son, the one that always stared at me, wanted his mom to know I was the neighbor that lived next to dad. I was the one who played the drums. So I met my neighbor’s ex and her partner without the intervention of my neighbor. I gave the young teen a free introduction to the drumset on the spot. Then I gave him the drum sticks I had just used for that particular show.
This is just something I’ve always done. Someone inspired me to play drums and so I’m just passing it along.
The neighbor stopped calling the police after that incident. And kind of stayed out of sight. I never saw his children after that.
My revenge had always been to keep playing and striving to make better quality music regardless of my neighbor’s efforts to silence me. As it turned out, fate gave me the opportunity to rub my neighbor’s nose in the fact that my band was actually entertaining to watch and listen to. And even his only family supported the right for our music to be heard.”
36. Babysitter Eats My Cookie? I Put A Frog On Her Shoulder
“When I was about seven, I had a teenage babysitter that hated me. My little brother was about 2 and she told me that he was a better child than me and that nobody liked me. To a seven-year-old, this was a very big deal.
One time my mom told me and the babysitter that as long as I ate all of my healthy lunch, I could have 3 chocolate chip cookies afterward.
This was a big deal b/c my parents were super strict about sweets. So I ate all of my lunch and when I finished I asked if I could have my cookies now. The babysitter goes to the pantry, takes out two cookies, hands one to my little brother, and eats the other one herself. She then tells me I don’t get a cookie because I am not a good little girl.
This would not stand.
So being the little tomboy I was, I went to the backyard and found a frog. I knew the babysitter hated/feared frogs. (Who doesn’t like frogs?) I found Babysitter watching tv (like she did all the time) with my little brother playing with his toys on the ground. I snuck up behind her and placed the frog on her shoulder w/o letting it go.
She looked over and started screaming. I chased her out of the house with it and locked the door behind her. Then I sat in front of the picture window and ate the cookies in front of her (I did share a few with my lil brother, so I’m not a total monster).
My mom was angry when she got home when she saw that the babysitter was sitting outside. It took a while to get a new babysitter…….”
35. Not Satisfied With Your Pizza? Tastes Fine To Me
“Back in the 80s, I used to manage a pizza joint.
This couple came in and ordered a supreme mini pizza. They are a 6” pizza good for one person who is not super hungry. I made the pizza myself and made it perfectly. It is hard to screw up a weight-based pizza in an air-cooked oven. They come out perfect.
After the couple ate 1/2 the pizza they called me over and said they would like another pizza because the one they just ate did not taste right.
I asked them what was wrong with it because I made it myself and was generally curious about what could have gone wrong. The lady immediately told me that the customer was always right, and I needed to make her another pizza. I was quite angry because I knew they were just trying to game the system and get another pizza for free.
I picked up a piece of the pizza and took a bite. It tasted great and I told her so. There was not anything wrong with the pizza. She grabbed the other piece and threw it at the wall and stormed out.
The owner always backed me up when dealing with awful people.”
34. Provide Bad Service? We'll Give You A Bad Tip
“I’m not one to actively seek revenge on anyone, I just don’t work that way but on one occasion a group of friends and I went out for the evening and were going to get some appetizers and have drinks for the evening. It was at a local resort that we used to frequent, and it was a common practice for people (not just us) to do so.
People would get a table, and just hang out at the tiki bar for hours, munching away on apps.
We had a server who was obviously out of sorts, was irritated that we had come and sat down because she had been enjoying sitting around doing nothing and now she had to wait on people, (her words). There was a DJ who was our close friend, and we would often go as a group over to where she was working and spend the evening hanging out, drinking, eating, talking, you get the picture.
Over the next several hours we only saw the server at the beginning and then she disappeared. She was still there but avoided any attempt we made to order anything else. She brought us maybe one pitcher and a couple of appetizers and that was it. There was a larger group of us (seven or eight of us), and so we were going through apps, mixed drinks, and booze at a decent clip, but she just about never came to check on us and we would have to go and order our own stuff directly from the bar and go and get it.
At the end of the night, we had our bill come and it was several hundred dollars and THEN she showed up. We paid the bill and tipped on the service she actually gave, which amounted to something like two appetizers and the initial pitcher. She turned red and purple and stormed off to ‘tell the bar manager’, but we weren’t going to pay her for service she never gave.
The bar manager agreed with us that the service given is service tipped, and he made her apologize to us. We weren’t looking for that and weren’t even going to talk with a manager because hey, we still got the stuff we wanted to order, but she took it to that level. But the point is, we didn’t get revenge, we gave her what was fair for the items she had actually brought, which was almost nothing.”
33. Take Away My Job Opportunity? I'll Take Away Yours
“I had a terrible boss years ago. This guy was not just a jerk but took pleasure in being one. He would smile as he humiliated and insulted people, and often acted in cruel ways for no other reason than to be cruel.
At one point, a position opened up in another state, and I threw my hat in for it because I wanted to move there.
I was given the transfer and told to be out there in a month to start.
I broke my lease, and my spouse left their job. We went out there and found an apartment. Literally two days before we were set to leave, this guy called up and said he changed his mind, and I wasn’t getting the transfer.
To say I was angry was an understatement. I quit on the spot and luckily found another job in that state less than two weeks later, so everything worked out for me.
A few years after this, I heard from some people still at the company that he was fired over some dumb jerk move where he was in talks for a job at the competition, using his company email to negotiate it. This was schadenfreude enough, but it got even better.
He didn’t get the other job and apparently couldn’t pick up ANY job. A year went by.
Then two. Then, his wife took off with the kids and left him alone. Then, he lost his house. Apparently, he ended up moving in with his mother, at 57 years old. And even then, he didn’t get another job. 4 years had passed.
Meanwhile, I climbed up in my career and eventually ended up in a position to hire someone. Guess whose resume ended up on my desk?
I immediately scheduled an interview.
I had no intention of hiring him. I just wanted to see him sitting on the other side of the desk squirming and pathetic, dependent on my mercy to lift him out of the toilet his life had become. I wanted to give him false hope and dash it on the rocks, just as he had done to me years before. It was glorious. He reeked of desperation and even had the gall to pretend like we were old buddies back in the day.
It was a great pleasure to let him get two interviews deep into the process and then dash his hopes.
It may seem cruel but trust me, this guy deserved it. There is truth to the saying ‘be careful who you step on on the way up because you will see them again on the way down.’ Last I heard of him, he was busted for something and charged criminally.”
32. Fire Me? I'll Sell All Your Info To Your Competitor
“Several years ago, I was hired as a Business Development Manager by this tech company (we’ll call them Company X) who headhunted me out from a competitor (Company Y). They were several leagues above company Y, and being young and ambitious – I jumped at the opportunity. I then discovered that they had a high turnover rate, but it didn’t really bother me at the time because I was pretty naive and cocky and got along great with most people there.
Company X had somewhat of a small workforce, around 40 people. The CEO, CTO, and General Manager ran a pretty tight ship and were very involved with everyone, micro-managing almost all aspects of the business.
Several months down the road, I had already closed several new accounts and brought in new revenue streams to the company. Then one day, they announced that they were going to shift the company strategy.
It’s been a while, and I can’t fully remember all the details, but the plan was pretty risky, and had everyone on edge, simply because it involved putting everyone under financial strain for almost a couple of years until the strategy matured and Company X would blast off exponentially. This meant no salary increment, no bonuses, no inflation adjustments, and so forth. For the next potentially couple of years, we’d all be working on a stiff.
They promised everyone compensation for their patience and loyalty, but at the end of the day, this was a decision made on their end and we didn’t have any say in it.
A week after the announcement, my General Manager tells me I need to head up to meet a panel of companies who were vendors to one of our biggest clients. The deal was that these companies were required by our client to use our tech if they wanted to keep their contracts, as part of their standardization protocol.
These companies had already installed some of our tech, and my job was to head over and provide training on using our tech, as well as upsell on more of our stuff.
It was primed as a troublesome job. The panel companies were already unhappy about being forced by our client to engage our tech because it meant additional work and cost on their end. And I had to sort out 14 companies across three states over a period of five days.
It seemed like a nice challenge and I was gung ho about it. I went off to meet with the panel and it turned out a success. Frankly, I was very proud of myself. I built a pretty good rapport with each of them and had even upsold on our packages and units.
I came down with a fever on Monday after returning to work, most probably brought on by exhaustion.
I came back to work on Wednesday, submitted my clinic-issued medical cert to HR, and continued with my job. After lunch, I was called in by HR and was advised that I have been terminated due to faking a medical cert. It was absurd! Even the HR lady looked sad about it. I asked what was going on and she could only reply it wasn’t her call, but my CEO’s.
I confronted my CEO demanding an explanation, and he said that he KNEW that I wasn’t sick and that I had lied to the company. I told him that was ridiculous and flat-out wrong. And even IF I had faked it, surely my contributions to the company and my most recent success would have made up for it. But he wasn’t hearing it and gave me two days to pack my stuff and sort out my affairs.
Devastated, crushed, and totally embarrassed, I went outside for a smoke. The HR lady and another manager joined me shortly after. It was then that I found out that the bosses, as part of their shift in strategy, wanted to let go of employees to reduce the overheads but did not want to offer exit packages. The trip to the panel companies was meant for me to fail and used as grounds for termination.
But me succeeding merely meant more revenue streams for them and they just had to fire me over whatever trivial grounds they could find.
I was furious! I spent the next couple of days continuously being furious over the matter. I spent another day or so at home wallowing in self-pity over my stupidity, ignorance, and sheer naivety. I wanted to sue for wrongful termination, hostile work environments, and so forth, but I decided that it would take too much time and effort because the labor laws here are awful, and I needed to focus on rebuilding my career.
But they still needed to feel my vengeance! So I decided to be petty instead. I was their Business Development Manager for heaven’s sake! I had my own copy of their data, inner workings, client list, and so much more. I contacted my ex-colleague over at Company Y with whom I still had good relations, and told him what had happened, and what I wanted to do.
I was going to sell them the full set of information, which I had valued close to USD175,000 (amount converted) of potential revenue, for only USD5,000. Charging this low meant that Company Y could afford what I was offering, all in cash, so there would not be any digital traces, it could be done within a day, and ultimately, it would be an insult to company X.
And that’s exactly what happened. I dropped whispers to Company X that it was me, but there was no way they could prove it, and by then I was already well beyond their radar. I don’t regret it the least, and quite honestly, I had fun doing it. It felt so dangerous, so undercover.
The last I heard of them was they were forced to file for bankruptcy because they were swindled out of a deal by one of their Senior Managers. It’s Karma jerk.”
31. Customer Comes To The Rescue Of Mistreated Employee
“Both my district manager & store manager were being rude all day. They constantly complained and treated everyone horribly in the store who worked there. They constantly made rude comments about me to my coworkers and bad things about my coworkers to me. One day a customer came in and saw that they were being rather rude to me when I was working the till. I had only recently just started and was learning each day but having difficulty doing certain things I hadn’t learned yet.
One of them made a comment about me being too stupid to do it. This customer overheard and went off at the district manager about how the purell dispenser was empty (it was a pet store). He then went on to lecture the managers on how dangerous it was and that he was going to call the health board and complain. The managers then went on and tried to fix the purell dispenser, and he came back to the till and told me that he hated jerks like that and couldn’t stand them treating me like that.”
30. Steal My Snacks? Enjoy This Bitter Smoothie
“I like to snack when I study, so I was just munching Lays and studying. I had my sister, and her 5-year-old daughter Dawn visiting me. She came in and asked.
D: I want it. Whatever you’re eating.
Me: There’s another packet in the kitchen. Take that.
D: No, I want this one.
Me: No. It’s mine. (I DON’T SHARE FOOD)
She started crying real bad.
D: Badi mummyyyyyyyyyy. Didi hit me!!
Mom: (came in running) Why is she crying?
D: I asked for chips, but she didn’t give me.
Instead, she hit me.
Mom shot me a look, snatched the packet from my hand, and gave it to her. Consoled her. They left.
While leaving she smirked at me.
It took me some time to recover from her evil trap.
I was ready for revenge. (Evil laugh)
The next day I made a creamy, frothy, delicious, and tempting smoothie and kept it in the fridge.
Me: Mom, that’s my smoothie. I’ll drink it in the evening.
I went back to my room. Sat down peacefully to study.
Being the devil she is, Dawn opened the fridge and tried to sneak in a taste of MY smoothie.
She took a sip and…..
And now for the people interested in the recipe of the smoothie.
It’s easy peasy.
Water, ice, garlic paste, coffee powder (max), filtered aloe juice, and a pinch of cardamom powder to ruin its taste, in any proportion. For the froth add whipped cream. To make it more tempting top it off with oreo. Make sure there should be no milk or sugar added.
Revenge is a dish best served bitter.”
29. Don't Want Me To Smudge Your Sunglasses? Have Fun Chasing After Them
“So I have just returned from my son’s school swimming carnival. Personally, I hate these things. Sitting in the stands in the heat watching kids doing things most of them have no interest in at all.
In addition, we have a good storm blowing up in the east and huge gusts of hot wind were hitting us fully in the face. One step down from me was another bored father of a student from a different school.
My son’s school is small enough that all the parents know each other. This guy looked about as excited to be there as I was.
Anyway, one particularly strong gust of wind blew his sunnies off his head. I managed to catch them before they went through the steps. Obviously, I did not have the time to pick them up neatly and so the lenses were against the palm of my hand.
But did I get a thanks when I handed them back? No. Instead, he growled, ‘Watch it mate, you smudged the lenses jerkhead.’
Ok then mate, if that’s how you want it. I sat back and hoped things would be over soon.
Karma struck almost immediately though when another blast of wind hit us and once again Jerkoff’s glasses went flying. He tried to grab them and missed, then watched as they skittered right past me within easy reach and shot through the stairs onto the concrete below.
Jerkoff: ‘Oh for heaven’s sake, you didn’t even try to grab them!’
Jerkoff: ‘Why did you just sit there jerk?’
Me: ‘Well I didn’t want to smudge the lenses did I?….. Jerkhead!’
Jerkoff stood there looking like he wanted to start something but decided the better of it. I am a big guy with no cares left to give.
Jerkoff went to look for his glasses. Smart move Jerkoff, smart move.”
28. Think You Could Steal Our Candy? Ha, Not A Chance
“One of the last times I ever went trick-or-treating (age 14 maybe), my best friend and I were walking through the neighborhood and saw a couple of kids coming our way. One of them yelled out to us to stop. We did, and they came closer. It was still very dark (no street lights in our burb), and the other one announced that they wanted our candy, and they’d kick our butts if we didn’t give it to them. They came a bit closer still, and I think we all realized at the same moment that my friend and I (both about average size for 14 yo) were wayyyy bigger than these two little jerk punks. So we took their candy. And apparently, they had been at this game for a while, because there was a lot.”
27. I Won Their Dream Scholarship Right In Front Of Them
“This happened to me about 3 months after I graduated from high school. So, there are these two girls that have always been bullying me since junior high. They would spread fake stories around, made me quit from being one of the school’s club leaders, and basically just being The Plastics spreading hate so people wouldn’t hang out with me. But I never did anything about them because of many reasons.
Anyway, these two girls LOVE everything related to Japan and both of them have always been dreaming of moving to Japan so they could eat thousands of Pocky and marry their dream Japanese man. But these two are too lazy to do something with their dreams. On the other hand, I too was fascinated with Japan as a whole country and had been dreaming of studying there so I worked my butt off so maybe I could get the chance to win a scholarship.
And I did. Right in front of one of the girls. I was visiting my classmate’s house with her and other friends to do something, and then while we got bored and decided to order something to eat, my dad called to tell me that the Japanese government had been trying to call me but apparently they couldn’t contact my number, so I have to call them back. And after I called, I found out that I won the 3 years scholarship program to Japan.
The look on her face was unforgettable. I could taste the sweetness of revenge I almost got diabetes.”
26. Show Up At My Job With Your New Man? I'll Treat Your Car Just Like You Treated Me
“This wasn’t me but an old co-worker of mine. When I was just out of high school I got a job installing radios and alarms into cars.
There were about 5–6 guys in total working in the install bay to where the sales guys (from the air-conditioned sales floor inside the building) would bring us the products to install, along with the cars’ keys after having sold something.
It was no secret that John, a sales guy in the store had a jerk partner and he was always in a bad mood and taking antidepressants due to the way she treated him.
One day John was really upset and told us his partner broke up with him because he didn’t have a ‘real’ job and didn’t earn enough to support her I.e. he wasn’t a ‘real man’..
I guess the breakup was pretty nasty and just to prove a point, about 3 weeks later she made sure he was working and drove to the store in a new Lexus which her new ‘rich’ partner bought for her. They both went in and asked for ‘John,’ her ex, to sell them the most expensive amplifier, for which the new guy paid in cash.
The girl had an enormous, smug smirk on her face the whole time and then said loud enough for everyone to hear ‘let’s go eat a nice lunch while the help makes my new car loud’… and then they left for about 2 hours.
John had told them that the amp must go under the passenger seat due to the car being a convertible and not much space in the back. They agreed.
We were pretty amazed at the Pokerface John kept the whole time but then he came back to the install bay with the amp (known amongst us it tends to really heat up and it was summertime).. he puts it on our bench and says ‘you guys mind if I install this myself?’
‘Sure’ we all said while grinning.
There was an apartment complex next to the store where all the people with dogs would take them and have them poop/pee on the grassy patch between parking spots behind the store. Of course, not everyone picked up their dog’s poo.
John went out there, picked a nice, fresh but smaller turd from the grass, came back.
He took the seat out, wired everything into the amp’s place but before mounting the amplifier, he carefully placed the dog turd in the middle of the carpet and then carefully placed the amp on top, then screwed it down…
I didn’t find out what happened afterward, only saw her come back, grab the keys and drive away with her new man, blasting the radio. I’m sure the smell caught up eventually every time the amp would heat up..”
25. Don't Mess With The Person Who's A Master At Messing With Doors
“I have two stories. First, a gentleman who over the course of two months successfully and intentionally blocked me in my own room. No idea why, we were only hall mates and never really hung out or were even enemies. But damned if he didn’t tell me after the third time that he was so proud that I wasn’t getting any. So this guy is in a single room.
I eventually tabbed his door (hiding something in the door lock so that the door never quite locks). Inside the room, there’s an office chair with post support for the back, so I carefully remove parts needed to get to the interior of the post. Add tuna fish, carefully replace all parts, and walk away whistling. As near as I could ascertain the smell remained for the rest of the school year (4 months).
The second one was my happy thought. Had multiple classes with a jerk over the course of two consecutive semesters. by the end I had no patience for him. I was hanging out in a group at the end of the year when I heard him loudly telling everyone he’s going to bed cause he has an early final the next day and then he gets to leave on summer vacation.
The next day, being the last day of the semester, not even the finals week. Needless to say, he got the response he hoped for of jealousy from everyone.
I don’t think so jerk.
About 3 or 4 am I sneak down to his room, apply 5-minute epoxy to the entire door jam in the little sliver of space between the door and the door jam. Took three containers I think.
Then I coated a small piece of plastic in epoxy and slid that plastic into the door lock and snapped it off. Lastly, I pennied the door. For those that don’t know that one, if the door is slightly loose in the jam you can slide a small stack of pennies or the like between the door and the jam, effectively putting so much tension on the system you can’t pull it open.
I think I put in 4 stacks. Oddly enough I never saw him on campus again.”
Another User Comments:
“What kind of stuff did the jerk do that merited making him miss a final exam? It would have to be pretty bad or else you’re the bad guy here.” muddyalcapones
“Well let’s see, remember this was 18 years ago and happened over the course of a whole year, and 5.5 classes but some of what I remember.
There was the shouting down of other opinions in the middle of class. Including the prof.
There was the talking over everyone in the middle of conversations.
There was the temper tantrum in the middle of an exam that resulted in everyone having to retake the damn test a week later. It was supposed to be a ‘last class’ final instead of a final during exam week.
There was the running monologue of how great he was doing on any given exam while trash-talking everyone else.
There was the saxophone playing at 5 am at least once a week.
There was the raging misogyny to female classmates
You know when the prof leaves the box of returned exams outside his door? He would swipe the box and have you come to him so he could trash talk you to your face over the exam.
Oooh yeah, and my personal favorite reason for hating on him is when he intentionally pulled a PCU move on a computer lab.
As he finished a paper in a computer lab he yanked the surge protectors from the wall on his way out the door shutting off half the computers that people were working on.
Yes looking back on it, I recognize the symptoms of mental illness. Now I would have the experience to handle him much much better. At the time I just wanted to cause him grievous bodily injury and choose this method as the better option.” cnhn
24. You're Not Going To Get Away With Conning The IRS
“I got laid off. I was the most recent hire, and the numbers were down. There was talk of layoffs. I expected the ax. I had been there just long enough to realize the owners were jerks, and that it wasn’t really an industry I wanted to work in, so it was a good learning experience and no great loss.
My boss, the guy who hired me, was great.
He knew the owners were jerks but wanted to learn that industry, so he put up with the owners for the time being. The view was also great. Top floor, full view of the bay bridge from my desk. Nice!
I was so new I hadn’t yet been introduced to the owners, who had been out of town on business. One of them was in one day, so my boss introduced us.
We chatted briefly, then the owner turned to my boss and cheerfully told him to take me to lunch. My boss’s face went white.
The owner went to his office and closed the door, leaving me and my boss standing there. My boss was visibly shaken, so I asked him what was wrong. He told me the owners only buy someone lunch if they’re about to be fired.
I told him I knew the numbers were down and I expected to be laid off, so it was OK.
I told him that if I’m going to be fired anyway, we might as well make it a really good lunch, and asked if he knew anywhere really nice nearby. No sandwiches this time! The office was in the middle of a downtown area with lots of trendy restaurants.
He picked a Spanish tapas place. He had the baby octopus, and I had mussels for the first time ever. It was delicious!
That company kept on giving even after I left. They said they had fired me for a cause to try to avoid having to pay unemployment insurance. I told the unemployment office they had laid me off along with several other people due to a reorganization.
They had no documentation to prove cause for firing (I hadn’t been reprimanded or suspended or anything), so I got the insurance funds I was due.
Then I got another surprise when I filed my taxes. The IRS sent me an audit letter. Apparently, the company had reported to the IRS that they had paid me $60,000. This was back in 1980-something, so $60,000 a year was a decent income. $60,000 for the 2 weeks I had worked for that company would have been fabulous if they had paid me. However, they had paid me only a small fraction of that amount, which I proved to the IRS by providing my W-2 and a copy of my final paycheck.
Looks like the owners of that company were crooks as well as jerks.”
23. Instead Of Apologizing For His Mistake, He Ran Into A Door
“Had a guy storm into my work yelling and complaining about his bill (I work for a cell phone company). He shows us the bill (after complaining and insulting us) and turns out it’s from another carrier. So instead of eating crow and apologizing he turns around and storms towards the door. What he didn’t realize is that while he was yelling at us, another employee locked the door because it was closing time. I’m jogging behind him and I say ‘sir that door is locked!’ but he’s going too fast and runs into the door face first, bounces off, and stumbles back. The whole store erupted in laughter and he had no choice but to leave with his tail tucked between his legs.”
22. I Didn't Know You Were Such A Scaredy-Cat
“So my then college partner and I were having a late-night conversation about spiritual thingies. I was rehashing some of my favorite stories about my experiences with UFOs and ghosts and out-of-body encounters and other ‘cosmic’ things that had happened to me throughout my life, and John (his real name) was listening bemusedly. I finally told him, ‘You don’t believe me.’ Not a question.
He said, ‘It’s not that I don’t believe you, I just don’t believe those things really happened.’
‘So then I’m lying.’
‘Noooo….(hesitation)…I don’t think you’re lying, I just…I can’t believe some of the stuff you tell me because nothing like that has ever happened to me.’
I told him that these kinds of things could happen to him if he was open to them, and not so close-minded.
So then he got arrogant. He threw his arms wide to the heavens and looked upwards and declared, ‘Ok, Universe, I want a sign, and I want it to be a BIG one, something I can’t question!’
I warned, ‘Oh John, be careful what you wish for cuz you’ll get it! Be careful! Don’t mess with this stuff!’
He was still cocky. ‘I don’t care. I wanna see something, and I want it to be BIG!!!’
I just sighed and shook my head.
‘Ok, John. I’m sure the Universe is listening, but I’m not sure you’re gonna wanna hear the answer. But whatever, more power to you! It might take months, years, and it’ll probably come when you least expect it and scare the life out of you, but if that’s what you want, you’ll get it!’
He was insistent that that was what he wanted, so I didn’t argue any further.
It was late, so I went to bed on my futon in my walk-in closet, while John stayed up studying, sprawled out on my couch in the small space that was my living room, in the tiny clapboard shack that I called home.
A couple of hours later or so I awoke, needing to pee. I got up and shambled into the living room. John was still up, still on the couch, but he was sitting bolt upright, stiff as a board, wide-eyed with terror.
I asked, ‘John, are you ok?’
He said, ‘Something just happened…’ His voice was shaking.
I asked, ‘What? What happened??’ He was beside himself with fear, I knew it had to be something earth-shattering. ‘WHAT IS IT???’
‘Well…’ he began, ‘sometime after you went to bed, Pepsi came in through the window.’ Pepsi (his real name) was my neighbor’s cat, who I had befriended, not having any cats of my own at that time.
Pepsi was a frequent visitor to my home, and since John was too, they knew each other well.
John continued. ‘So he got up on the couch and lay by my feet. I was studying and he was sleeping, and all of a sudden, he got up and kind of hunched over, and started making this horrible noise!’
John mimicked the sound: ‘Heeeeyurk…..heeeeyurk…..HEEEYURKKK!!!’
John’s eyes were huge as he was telling his story, but I was already starting to smirk.
‘And then….I’m not kidding….I swear I’m not lying….this….this…this LOG came out of his mouth!!! Right on to the blanket!!!’
John’s panic was real, but I was losing it in a fit of giggles. Despite my obvious amusement, John poured out the rest. ‘It was like the EXORCIST!!! Sweetie…’ he said most earnestly, ‘I think the Universe is trying to tell me something! and…and…and WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING???’
I was doubled over in a hysterical fit, tears squirting out of my eyes.
I was laughing so hard, it was several moments before I could speak. When I finally did, it was in hitching gasps: ‘John….have you…have you…ever…heard…of a hairball??’
The terrified expression didn’t leave his face. He had no idea what I was talking about, having never had a cat as a pet before. I had to explain to him what a hairball was, through my bouts of spastic laughter.
He was not amused. ‘It’s NOT FUNNY!’ he exclaimed, but oh, oh it was.
Still giggling, I went back to bed with these parting words:
‘The Universe works in mysterious ways, John.’
And it does. He got his sign. It was something completely natural for me, but to him, it was absolutely supernatural. Both the Universe and I had a good cosmic chuckle that night!
He and I later broke up. I got some sweet revenge during the break-up, but that’s another story. But I think the hairball story is the better revenge story, even though it’s more ‘universal comeuppance’ rather than ‘personal revenge,’ just because it was such an immediate life lesson, and gosh…it was damn funny.”
21. Fire Me For Having A Big Salary? Good Luck Managing Without Me
“I worked for this company for 10 years. Always on time. Always a hard worker. Covered shifts. Worked graveyard when needed. Team player. ALWAYS got the maximum raise every year with stellar reviews.
For 10 years in IT, I was the guy who located and contacted vendors to repair many of our custom or obsolete items. I had contacts for VERY hard-to-find parts for the obsolete items.
I kept the ‘Rolodex’ file of all the contacts, phone numbers, etc. and they were on the corporate network ‘someplace.’
They got a new IT Director and I was let go under less than respectful circumstances. I had no time to do anything. I was escorted out and they said my things would be on the loading dock the next day. (Found out later they let go all the old-timers who were making more than they wanted to pay.
I was among the first.)
A week later, they called me asking for my contact list file. Guess what they did NOT get. I’m sure it took them years to re-locate them all.”
Another User Comments:
“Well, I bet they didn’t see that coming! That’s happening a lot now and it’s really sad. They tried to do that at my husband’s job but looks like he may stay till 65 and that’s in 3 yrs and believe me, he’s counting down the days.
They hire in cheaper help, less experienced, and poor work ethics and wonder why it turns into a train wreck.” Celeste Ybarra
“I heard from a former co-worker they were advertising my old job at $20k less a year less than I was making. We ‘old-timers’ helped to build the company through two expansions in 10 years and in those 10 years, they reduced our benefits and reduced the salaries of those coming in. I’d heard that during the next expansion, the accounting folks forgot to take into account raises for the next year so they had to find money someplace. Voila! Get rid of the highest-paid workers (who weren’t executives of course).” Gregor Michels
20. Sometimes You Have To Fake It Until You Make It
“When I was first out of school, I was basically aimless and adrift, more interested in drinking than I was about a career. Living on the cheap, hanging out, not a whole lot of motivation to find a ‘real’ job and a general disdain for the house, picket fence, two and a half kids, and a dog route I did a lot of temp work to get by.
I knew someday I’d land I just wasn’t quite ready. At one point I ended up going to a career placement agency for professionals to give it a whirl. The manager was a pompous windbag and basically told me that I’m just shy of unemployable. Not sure if he was trying to motivate me but the clash of wills began.
He’d send me to half-baked opportunities that had little to do with anything remotely close to what I could do and I’d give half-baked interviews.
Game on! This went on for a while as I figured it wasn’t costing me anything (until I get hired at which point they’d get a percentage) and I was gaining interview experience.
Finally bored, or annoyed, to get rid of him I told what at first appeared to have been a lie. I had interviewed for a sales position – an interview I had gotten on my own – and told him that I got the position and told him the salary and the benefits without actually having received either.
I could see that smug look on his face contort as I delivered the news. At that moment, it was not reality. Yet not only did I get the job but I made the amount I told him (and then some) and that job catapulted me, minus some parallel paths, to an amazing work history.”
19. Need To Deal With A Bully? Fart In Their Face
“I got one that happened over 4 years ago that I love telling people if the subject comes up. I was in a movie-making camp in July 2014 with a theatre company that I had attended classes at throughout the school year as well. There was this jerk who we’ll call J who was a jerk to me since the day we met. He hated me for literally no reason.
Well, I had dealt with his nonsense for months and I, unfortunately, didn’t get good revenge on him (I did though but it wasn’t nearly as good as the revenge I got on another guy). However, there’s this guy who we’ll call A who was there as well one particular day. A was usually nice to me and we were friends usually. Not that day. He joined J in being a jerk to me.
Bullying me, calling me names, bugging me, etc.
Well, we were outside in a park at one point in the day and he was just constantly being a jerk to me. I maybe didn’t get good revenge on J but I got amazing revenge on A and it just happened. I didn’t even plan it and it was absolutely hilarious. I still laugh at the thought to this day.
I had all this on video but I got a new phone since then so I don’t have the video anymore, unfortunately.
I decided to start filming a video and start by saying ‘uh what’s up guys? This is your favorite host awesomejuggler20. The best host in the world.’
A comes up and says ‘this person sucks.’
I told him to get out of my face. I go to say something and he comes back and says something stupid and I absolutely lose it and yell at him to shut up and push him away from me.
A: ‘excuse me’ as in ‘did you just dare touch me?’
He then says he wants to see the video of me being wedgied. I never got wedgied that day. Don’t know what made him think I did either. I tell him he’s not gonna see it. I then proceeded to ask him if he wanted a wedgie.
A: ‘no but you might.’
Me: ‘right here.’
Then I start a sentence saying ‘you were,’ I don’t even finish saying my sentence and immediately tell him to give me a wedgie.
By that time, I really needed to fart and it was ready to be released.
A: ‘I got it.’
I swear his hand was probably about 2 inches from my butt. I let it rip right on his hand. I swear he probably felt the air coming out of my butt on his hand. It was loud and long. He was annoying me the entire day that day but he never annoyed me after that day.
That was the one and only time in my life where I farted on someone and I will gladly do it again if someone is annoying me and I get the timing just right. I cried from laughing so hard for weeks afterward and I still laugh to this day if I’m telling the story. Absolutely hilarious and he never picked on me again after that. We’re actually friends still and we get along to this day. J and I don’t and we still hate each other but whatever.”
18. Blame Me For The Mess? I'll Cut Your Hair
“Kindergarten, during recess or whatever, I wanted to play with some fellow classmates in the play kitchen area. This girl, we’ll call her Jamie because that’s her name, was an evil little jerk and she got everyone to vote me out of the game. If that wasn’t bad enough, when we went back to our seats, the teacher asked who made a mess in the kitchen and didn’t clean it up.
Sure enough, Jamie raises her hand and blames it all on me. The teacher didn’t hesitate to order me to go clean up the area.
As I was finishing picking up the very toys I was denied access to, I found a pair of scissors and walked back to my desk. On my way, I made it a point to pass behind Jamie and in one clean, smooth motion, I took some of Jamie’s beautiful long dark hair and cut it, walking back to my seat as if nothing had happened.
Yes, she felt it, and yes I got in trouble…but the damage was already done and so the revenge felt too sweet!!!”
17. Steal My Tape Deck Adapter? No Club Entry For You
“In 2008 I was working in a warehouse as temp staff, and for one week I worked with a scruffy guy about the same age as me. Let’s call him Jason. I was 20, my car was an old Ford that had a tape deck.
Just as any thrifty young man would do in 2008, I bought a 3.5mm-cassette adapter so I could enjoy music from my iPod as I cruised the streets in my automotive antiquity.
I got talking with Jason as we worked, and learned he traveled 100km by train each day for this job. It made total sense to me to offer him a ride to find something for lunch better than the cafeteria located on the site where we worked. That was the window of time when my tape deck adapter disappeared from the car.
Working far from home myself, I didn’t have much of a social life during the week and had no other passengers for that entire time.
Nobody else besides Jason. Why did he feel the need to steal that adapter? Where was the car he imagined using the adapter in? Ok, I admit that when I said ‘scruffy guy’, I really mean he was one of those people who are exactly as dumb as they look. And Jason looked pretty dumb.
Previous to temp work in warehouses, I spent some time working in nightclub security.
In the winter of 2009, I was catching up with some old friends at a nightclub where they were doormen. It was a cold Melbourne night, so I said my goodbyes and headed to the car park to make my way home.
As I unlock my car, a hatchback blaring techno music screams into the car park. The passengers pour out, and who else but Jason is there with them, looking just as dumb as I remembered.
There was no way that car was playing music through a tape deck adapter. Why, then, did you need to take my adapter, Jason?
I locked my car door and strolled back to the nightclub doors.
‘There’s a group of people about to join the line, that stupid-looking one stole something from my car when we worked together last year.’
A moment of confusion ensued, as my former colleague asserted the entire group looked intellectually deficient.
I glanced over my shoulder.
‘Oh, right… the stupid one with that stupid goatee.’
I stood facing away from the queue awaiting entry, and overheard Jason’s group literally being told, ‘I don’t like the looks of ya. You’re not coming in here tonight.’
Thanking my friend, I returned to the car. I was ecstatic. I listened to Jason and his friends lament how far from home they had traveled, and how unlikely it was that there was anywhere else they could ‘party’ – this nightclub was a raver-friendly place where people went as much for the substances as the music.
I don’t recommend seeking revenge. As the saying goes, first dig two graves. But if someone else digs one grave, and your antagonist happens upon it, you don’t have to stop them from falling in.”
16. A Battle Of The Band Members
“When I was about 25 I was playing in a band with two high school classmates. All three of us were/are professional musicians. We brought in a guy who was about 5 years younger to complete the lineup. It took years for me to realize what a degenerate he was, and what a negative influence he had on the band. Over the years he used our rehearsal space as a party spot, he and his friends vandalized the building and allegedly stole stuff.
He was immature and always intoxicated. Beyond that, he was moody and difficult to work with. From here on we’ll just call him the jerk.
With me being the de facto leader, and way more particular than the other two, it wasn’t long before I was the jerk’s enemy #1 and the BAND narrative was that ‘he and I didn’t get along’ or worse, that MY controlling nature was actually the problem.
This was incredibly frustrating. The guy caused me SO much grief and stress I can’t do it justice here. There were rumors later that he said he’d spit in my drink at gigs/rehearsal and other childish behavior.
So, one day the jerk showed up to rehearsal with a STUNNINGLY beautiful friend. I had an instant crush. The problem was that I had a partner at the time.
By the time I was single again the hot girl was, inexplicably, seeing the jerk. Oh well, musicians get girls. I watched her from afar.
We then spent months in the studio making a record. By the time tracking was almost done things with the jerk had come to a head. The other two guys saw that I’d made efforts to get along better with him and, much to my surprise given their passive natures, they both agreed that it wasn’t sustainable and that we needed to kick him out.
The look on his face when he realized that we all agreed HE was the problem and needed to go, was sweet enough.
We finished the record. I handled everything totally professionally and by the book, in terms of crediting him for any writing he did, etc. And was even incredibly gracious by listing him in a way that would save face for him and make it sound like he may have opted to just not gig with us anymore, but was a major contributor to the record (I listed him as an ‘also’ member of the band.) He still told people that I ‘stole his songs.’
A while after we booted him, I heard through the grapevine that the hot girl dumped him.
I called her and asked her out. Somewhat ironically, she later told me that when she was with him, his obsession with how much he hated me only intrigued her and made her think about me. She also told me that when he heard I’d asked her out he called her and was completely distraught over it as he’d always thought they’d get back together.
Anyway, she and I got serious.
At one point we were having a holiday dinner at her parent’s house and a relative asked how we met. Her dad chuckled and said ‘Well, Dave was playing in a band with her ex-partner and he kicked him out and stole her,’ lol – Not exactly accurate but close enough.
On another occasion, the jerk walked into a bar, and she and I were there together.
To be honest, I kind of felt bad for him. I’d clearly won but I’m not a bad guy. I don’t revel in another’s misfortune.
Ultimately, the hot girl and I didn’t marry or anything. In fact, she broke my heart too. But it was an AMAZING ride. One you never forget. And I certainly got my revenge on the jerk.
15 years later and I have a thriving music business, a high-end recording studio in my home, and I’m married to an even more gorgeous gal who’s a doctor. I heard that the jerk narrowly avoided prison time and ultimately landed in Colorado, but is doing alright.
Sometimes good guys finish first.”
15. Mess Up My Cubical? I'll Make You A Hot Dog Cake
“In the mid-80s to mid-90s, I worked at a large church in Atlanta. We had a great staff, who enjoyed each other’s company and working together. Of course, there were a few pranksters in the group.
One Monday morning, I came to work only to find my cubical in ‘organized disarray.’ Everything was where it should be, only it was upside down, or wrong side out, or just plain wrong somehow.
ALL of my paper clips were hooked together (probably the worse offense of all). It took forever to get them disconnected and get my office back to rights. On a small whiteboard next to my desk was written: ‘Ha, the cat did it.’ All day I tried to figure out who had done this. I was not angry or upset, just puzzled. When a co-worker stopped by to see if I had a clue as to who it could have been, I read the message from the board.
The minute the words were out of my mouth, I knew who it was. So, I called Darryl (who worked sound and lights on Sundays) and congratulated him on his brilliant work. He just fell out laughing – validating my suspicions. I warned him not to start his car after work – no telling what might happen! We all had a good laugh about it.
A couple of weeks later, it was Darryl’s birthday, and being such a great friend, I baked him a cake to take to his office.
Buying the cheapest mix I could find (Jiffy cake mix) I mixed it all up and added some cheap (really cheap) chopped hot dogs to the mix. Oh horrors, the smell of it baking (gag). Having recently completed level 2 of the Wilton Cake decorating class, it was probably one of the most beautiful cakes I had completed. Thankfully the smell did not last outside the oven.
Took it to the church on Sunday and gave it to one of Darryl’s co-workers to have for break the next day. About 11 am, the phone call came. Oh, he was laughing so hard – great job! But the folks in the office were disappointed not to have cake for break (I made them a real cake – but they were skeptical – for good reason).
But I was not content to keep such a grand revenge story to myself. The next Sunday, I was up to present the Children’s Message to the little kids during the morning service. My message was brilliant. How the Bible, a book, teaches us. We have history books to teach us about life before we were born, math books to teach us how to do math problems, and cookbooks to teach us how to cook.
For example, what does a cookbook tell us about making a cake? It is ok to put eggs in a cake? YES! Is it ok to put chocolate in a cake? How about hot dogs, would you put hot dogs in a cake? NOOOOOO!!! the kids yelled. I glanced up at the sound booth and I think Darryl turned blue from trying not to scream. The message went on to stress that we have to read a cookbook to know how to properly bake a cake. And so that we live as God has directed, we must also read the Bible.
My co-workers who were in on the Hot Dog Cake scheme just hollered – everyone else thought it was a great illustration for the lesson I was trying to get across to the children (and anyone wanting to trick me.)”
14. Don't Get An Uber Pool If You're Going To Act Entitled
“A few weeks back, I was out running errands. It was around 15:00 hours and I started experiencing a severe headache. The scorching heat had made it unbearable for me to carry on with my work. Since I was halfway around the city, I decided to book a cab and rush home.
The UBER-Pool arrived and 2 girls were already seated at the back. I requested them to make some place for me at the back, as sitting in the front seat while facing the sun would make my pain even more intense.
They blatantly refused and carried on. Extremely angry, I sat down next to the driver and tried calming myself down. Meanwhile, they continued blabbering about nonsensical topics in garish tones. I tried asking them to take it down a notch but they didn’t listen to me and continued.
Another rider was matched with our ride and the driver changed the route to pick him up. They kept cribbing about how these days everyone takes cabs due to the sharing concept, and how it was so inconvenient for them to accommodate some loser who would be ‘privileged’ to sit with them.
The rider was a kind old man who was polite enough to wait at the location before we arrived. They said demeaning things about the man and I was about to give them a piece of my mind when one of them nudged my shoulder and commanded, ‘Come at the back, We don’t want to sit with this weird man.’
I smiled and said, ‘Thank you, but I don’t really want to.’
The flabbergasted look on their faces was totally worth it.
Pin drop silence during the rest of the journey.”
13. Scam Us? We'll Make Sure You Can't Get Into Your Car
“A few friends of mine went in on about $1,800 worth of substances. The deal was sorted through a mutual friend, the dealer was unknown to me and the others involved but we trusted our contact.
Deal went just fine; We met him at his house and purchased the product and exchanged some small talk. He seemed about as trustworthy as any dealer is and no one had second thoughts about it.
We get home and test the product. Sure enough, it’s bunk. We call the dealer and express our disappointment and demand a refund. His response, ‘It’s already gone. Sometimes people get screwed, welcome to the game…’ ((CLICK)).
Now of course our first reaction was to visit his house with baseball bats, but after our tempers cooled we realized we weren’t brave enough for such a violent confrontation, and that this guy most likely owned several guns.
We had to be more creative, in all honesty, we wanted financial retribution. It was decided that we would do approx $1,800 worth of damage to his personal property.
The plan came together quite well. I and another friend had recently taken a welding class at the local community college. My friend liked the craft so well he purchased a used arc-welder on eBay and had been doing some artwork/freelance welding around town.
The plan was to weld the doors and trunk of the dealer’s BMW 3 series. The problem was gaining access to his car which was always parked behind his house for enough time to do the deed. He worked at a local electronics store for most of the day, so we knew if we disabled his car he would have to leave it there during work.
So we snuck into his backyard at about 4 am, popped the hood of his car, and disconnected the spark plugs. Sure enough, he came out for work that morning and unsuccessfully tried to drive to work. Not sure how he got to work but when we came back to his place at around 10 no one was there, but the car was still in the back.
We quickly set up everything. All in all, it took about 25 minutes to weld every opening of the car. It wasn’t pretty but there was no way anyone was opening those doors.
The only sad part is we never got to see his reaction. But he did have to smash out the driver’s side window in order to get into the car to drive it, which as far as I know he still owns and still isn’t able to access in the intended manner.”
12. Be A Jerk Cause You Didn't Get The Top Locker? You'll Learn Not To Mess With Me
“I was in 6th grade and in the first few weeks of middle school, I had to get used to using a locker to store all my things since backpacks weren’t allowed. Being fairly tall, probably getting close to 6 foot (I’m 6’2 or 6’3 ish as an adult), I was fortunate enough to get a top locker. You see the lockers are stacked in twos.
A girl named Alyssa got the locker below mine and she was ANGRY that she didn’t have a top locker. She decided to rage at me for some reason. I’ve been a nice guy for my whole life but this is the only time I’ve ever had to physically respond to a girl (or guy for that matter).
While I politely hovered and tried to get my books one morning without getting in her space, she yelled insults at me and other derogatory things.
This berating and constant disrespect had been a regular thing for a few weeks and it didn’t help that they didn’t let students into the school till a few minutes before class started meaning there was always a scramble to get to the lockers and then to class without being late (stupid system I know). Eventually, she straight up started throwing my books out of my locker onto the floor.
Having had enough, I grabbed my last book and noticed her hand was holding onto the ridge where my locker closes. Thinking quick, I slammed my locker door as hard as I can hitting her hand. She screams out in pain and I slam the door again after she moves her hand. I grab my stuff again and walk to class. She never messed with me again.
I STILL don’t regret doing this either, she totally had it coming.”
11. Make Too Many Apartment Rules? I'll Get You A Parking Ticket
“I had a horrible roommate when I was subletting a room for the summer for my internship in college. She was passive-aggressive, got her panties all in a twist about stupid things like painting my nails at the kitchen table, would refuse to buy toilet paper even after I bought it multiple times in a row, and then found out she was hiding it in her room and taking it in with her each time.
She was just an all-around miserable person who made life in that apartment hard to enjoy.
A friend of mine and I let the air out of her tires – all 4 – after she called a ‘roommate meeting’, insisted I cut my weekend plans short because it was super important I was home and then failed to show up. I came into the apartment and feigned surprise, ‘Natasha, your tires are all flat on your car! Did you hit something?’ She freaked out and ran outside, she couldn’t move her car from the driveway which got her a parking ticket because she wasn’t really supposed to park there and had to have it towed. The day I moved out I peed in her NyQuil. I never spoke to her again.”
10. Won't Send Me My Family Pictures? You Won't Get The Password
“My job was like coaching football, win the profit quest or find another team. I found myself opening new truck stops for corporations that were moving into the business. I enjoyed putting the location in order and setting up all of the business arrangements to do business. Various methods of payments and fragmented supply chains made it a challenge to accomplish without experience in the business.
Once the business was open and active, the process to streamline and create better profits became the priority. This was not my forte.
In my last job, it was a huge ethanol business wanting to enter the business to expand profits on their product in a retail setting. Not a good location and an area where the local traffic would make all the difference. A restaurant had been promised and was needed badly in the area.
Bottom line, the lack of a restaurant stifled traffic and created resentment. All of these things pointed toward about a two-year engagement. I had opened about 10 new truck stops by then and went through the processes. The funds they wasted to create the type of organization they were used to was amazing. I had to take a 6 day trip for a one-day meeting every quarter until I convinced them to let me attend on phone.
This cost about 11 thousand dollars for your basic dog and pony show.
In any event, I finally convinced the person in charge of me to fire me after I had made arrangements and marked my calendar. She brought the big dog to help her and called as I was leaving town after working nine 12 hour days at the minimum, letting my help enjoy a holiday.
I met, we talked, and I gave them my keys, phone, and computer. Nothing hostile, but I wanted a file of some of my kids’ photos off of the computer sent to me, she promised, we parted ways. I set off for the knee and hip replacement I had scheduled over the previous 2 months.
The next day, a manager I had trained called me to get a password for the safe that they had forgotten to get from me.
I wouldn’t release it to him and told him to have the boss lady call. Later that day, another manager called, same conversation. The next day, she called. Angry. But she couldn’t argue with the logic that I couldn’t release the code to $10,000 or more in cashier drops and change funds. Settled down, but when she asked nice, I had to ask, ‘Did you get my kids’ photos sent to me?’ She hadn’t.
I said call me back when you do and hung up. I knew that when she got back to corporate, the first thing she probably did was drop off the computer to have it wiped and reassigned. They had special programming and had few extras. She did. No call. I assumed at some point, her IT got to the manufacturer and worked it out. I think they had probably run the change dispenser out the second day and had to innovate to get by until they freed the safe.
People need to understand a person’s job before they fire them.
The next day the manager called to see if I would give her the password for the diesel point of sale so they could change the fuel price. Up. I did. A half-hour later, she needed to change the price on the corner. I told her I had forgotten something and needed her to have the corporate woman call me first.
No call. It was late in the day, so there was a good chance it took hours or a day to figure that one out. There were another half a dozen or so passwords and processes that had to be gone through in about the same process, the most notable, documenting fuel inventories. When the state inspector came to check that, he could and should have shut them down for not being current, that process is critical for keeping drinking water safe. I enjoyed the fact that the individual that stymied the restaurant and everything else that was important to building a good local business ended up in the motel across the street from the truck stop for a number of months.”
9. We Convinced Him He Was Thirsty
“In high school, there was a phase of my group of friends pulling minor pranks on each other that culminated in a grand form of gaslighting.
For those unaware, gaslighting is basically, through subtle conspiracy and/or manipulation, getting the victim to think they’re foolish by continuously contradicting their perceptions.
My best friend, call him Doug, was an interesting and dynamic combination of boisterous and insecure. He could yell something ridiculous in public with no problem, but if someone said something about him that was ambiguous, he could easily take it the wrong way.
When prompted for my idea for a prank I paused, then came up with this:
Me: ‘Let’s tell Doug he’s thirsty.’
Other Friend: ‘What do you mean?’
Me: ‘Tomorrow at school, in passing, ask if he wants some water, that he looks thirsty. I’ll ask him at some point. Tell the others. We’ll just mention that he looks parched every once in a while and see what happens. He’ll go wild.’
Sure enough, even after the first day, Doug started to lose it; getting to class late staring into the mirror wondering why? did he look pale? I think 20 people wound up involved in the conspiracy. After day three I heard he wasn’t getting sleep, so I told him. Never thought it had gone that far. His expression when he found out it was a prank was priceless.
So, to anyone thinking of formulating a good prank: you don’t need tools, a big mess, or any real investment, just a good concept, and words. Human psychology can do the rest.”
8. Vengeance For Goldy
“This didn’t actually happen to me, but it happened to one of my mother’s friends. The story made me laugh so much though that I still remember it.
When my mother’s friend was in college she had a roommate who had a pet goldfish. Apparently, she used to talk to the goldfish as if it were a person; she would have full-blown conversations with this goldfish. One day my mother’s friend decided it would be a fun prank to replace her roommate’s goldfish with a dead one.
(The live goldfish was kept safe somewhere else). Needless to say, the roommate was horrified to come back to the dorm and find ‘Goldy’ floating belly up, it was only after several minutes of tears and panicking that my mother’s friend revealed that ‘Goldy’ was still in fact alive.
Several years go by and my mother’s friend and her roommate continue to live together; finals week rolls around and my mother’s friend has a very large exam coming up during the week.
After spending most of the evenings leading up to the exam day studying, the night before the exam my mother’s friend decides to go out and have some fun. After a night of enjoyment my mother’s friend returns to her dorm room only to find that her roommate had emptied the entire half of the room of furniture and personal belongings, the only thing that remained in the room was a large fabric sign that read ‘vengeance for Goldy.'”
7. We Hid A Metronome In The Jerk Frat Guy's Room
“There was a jerk in the fraternity and being one of the people ‘in charge,’ I had to deal with his nonsense. All the time complaining, and asking to do things to the pledges that were not just against school policy, but were illegal and dangerous. I know, I’m a party pooper, but I didn’t want to go to jail because someone wanted to tape a funnel to a kid’s mouth and force booze on him every time he flinched over the course of 6 hours, or when they decided each pledge had to hit every other pledge with a bat whenever a brother said to.
Revenge was simple. Finals time, we found a metronome that clicks back and forth. Set it on the lowest setting and hid it in the room. You could barely hear it and only if you knew it was there. After 2 days, he started going nuts. Said he couldn’t sleep, couldn’t concentrate, there was a ‘buzzing’ but nobody else heard it. He was freaking out, looked terrible, was failing his tests. After 4 days he started sleeping in the living room. Eventually, we took it out because his anxiety was angering everyone else. I had no idea it would torment him so well.”
6. Won't Quit Smoking? Maybe The State Of Your Car Will Change Your Mind
“Once upon a time, a much younger version of me lived with her first-ever partner. You know, the kind of bonehead partner that you are with a couple of years past high school, the kind that two-times, cannot hold a job, lies, and fights with people when he can’t solve problems.
Well, we were very tight on money. It was so bad that his mother had to give us food sometimes or we wouldn’t have any.
I was the only one of us with a job for a long time, and I could barely keep the electricity on at our apartment. Spending extra was out of the question.
My partner, the bonehead, decided he wanted to start smoking. I’m not sure why. I was very much against this. Some time passed, and he told me he would quit or stop smoking. It’s not like I could not smell the Camels on him, but he kept lying about it.
Right around the same time, I found out that he was also lying about not hooking up with his female coworker. I got fed up and lost my cool.
By this time, he finally found a job, and he would carpool to work from a certain spot every day. I went to go find the smokes. I knew he was keeping them in the car. So I took the spare key to his 1965 Mustang and found several packs of Camels in the console.
To make my point ultra-clear with him, I took a pair of scissors and cut up the smokes, all of them, and tossed them like confetti all over the car interior. I may or may not have left a Post-it note with a smiley face on the steering wheel.
Then, I went back home to our apartment to wait for the torrent of fury to be unleashed on me. When he got home, we had a big argument and broke up.”
5. Frame Me For Your Crime? I'll Make A Profit Off Your Lies
“So, I used to have these crazy parties in my parents’ pool house, and one time this chick goes over to the purse table and acts like she’s texting or something and then steals stuff out of every girl’s purse. Total she took about $300. But I had cameras in the pool house! So, the next day I call her and make her fess up, although she swears up and down to me and all of her friends that she only took $50.
Jerk was trying to get away with $250!! And make me and my friends who were the victims look like liars!!
Well, at this point I had told her the amount taken was $300, but not anyone else. So when they asked, I referred them to a mutual friend who had actually had about $60 taken out of her purse alone and showed them the tape of her reaching into all the purses.
I told all her friends she stole $500 total (one girl there was a dealer so it wasn’t outrageous to think there could have been that much money total).
So she calls me crying when she hears the new number and says she’ll pay the $300, and I told her only if she admitted to her friends that that’s how much she took. Well, she wouldn’t. Instead, she tells all her friends that she only took the $50 and I was trying to blackmail her with calling the cops.
The next day, I’m at a mutual friend’s house (who is like one of the girl’s best friends) and the stealing jerk calls this friend and tries to complain to her about me, not realizing I’m there. I grabbed the phone from my friend and delivered the most epic speech of my life. Something about ‘Don’t call my friends liars. If they say they lost that much then I believe them.
You’re the one who denied to everyone that you even stole anything until I showed them the tape…’ blah blah something about getting the cops involved. So now at this point, everyone believes me and her friends threatened to tell her parents if she didn’t pay me back. So, she had to and I made $200. I spent it on more parties where I invited like every person that girl knew except her. It was glorious.”
4. Dump Dog Gravy Into Our Room? You Picked The Wrong Time Of The Month To Mess With Us
“Not me, but my sister. She was an RA at her university, and that particular ‘co-ed residence hall’ was actually a Howard Johnson’s just off-campus. Further, all the students assigned there were the ‘no hope’ freshmen. Although stories included guys parkouring over the balconies to throw all of the girls’ clothes into the covered pool to soak in the slime, this back-and-forth tops it all:
The bathrooms at this HoJo had little windows near the top that opened to the outside and usually WERE open, to let steam out from showers and such.
Some girls had embarrassed a guy at a party by giving away some of his…genetic frailties, shall we say…at a party. To get revenge, he bought several 50-pound bags of Gravy Train dog food. This is the type that you would serve your dog, and pour a cup of water on to make a bowl of chunky gravy. He dumped the bags through the windows into her room, then fed a hose from the maintenance line in and made the gravy.
That was evil.
You don’t bring evil on women.
The girls in the building had, at this stage, all of their monthly cycles more-or-less in sync. So, over a two-week period, they saved all of their feminine products. All of them. All the girls. Then, at night, they dumped them ALL into his bathroom. And made the gravy.
Like all splendid little wars, this one ended in abject surrender. And suspensions.”
3. She Ruined Our Friendship Over A Guy But I Got The Last Laugh
“My very best friend, I mean, in the world, of 28 YEARS, betrayed me, in a very abrupt, very, unexpected manner. She and I met in middle school, (I was 14) and we stayed close through our respective adulthood lives. When I was 22, she’d had a little girl, named her after me, that’s how family we were. She was like my sister. By the time I hit my early 30s, I’d fallen, just, COMPLETELY head over heels for a guy, and she was actually there, used to tell the story to people, about how we fell in love from the moment he and I met, love at first sight kind of thing.
Well, he and I were together for four years, and I got pregnant. She decided to tell him that I was unfaithful, (I wasn’t), that the baby was someone else’s, (she wasn’t) and he fell for it. All of this without warning, now, and for, seemingly, no reason, boom.
It was…bad. If you would have told me, that you’d thought she’d do something like that to me? I’d have called you foolish, and I thought she’d have laid down her life for me, as I would have for her, of course.
We played a back and forth, bulls game, the whole, narc triangulation thing, and, I told her, one day, she’d come home, and find me hooking up with him on her kitchen table. She wants to crawl under me like she did, she needed to look out, bc, she’d roll over one morning, and there I would be.
Of course, it was only talk. I had to get shed of the situation, or it was going to be worse, for us all, really, and I was pregnant, so I left town, but before I did, I said this to her:
‘You know, I feel sorry for you, he’s not in love with you, and you know that.
And there’s going to come a time when this all is going to be so worth all this, and when that time comes I’m going to be there, and I’m going to remind you of this conversation, and you’re going to get what you deserve, watch.’
Cut to two years later, he’s been calling me, for two years, from private numbers, and I wouldn’t ever answer, but, I picked it up, one day, really not expecting it to be him, but it was.
She’d gone to jail, the night before, and he needed me to get him to their car at the impound, all his work tools are in the car, will I please help. So, I left the state I had been living in and drove to him. Of course, the whole story was just to get me to this nice double wide, he wants to show me, his ability to have a place, wants, actually to move me right in.
I demurrage, but agree to use him for some fun, until she gets released.
Yeah, right. He begged, and begging wasn’t necessary, but I let him. And I loved him still, (hindsight eh?) So I eventually gave in. She wasn’t released for a while, but he’s told her over the phone, and when she came home, he’d insisted I stay, while she picked up her belongings.
I didn’t think it was a good idea, but, I was wrong.
She came in, immediately starts touching his arm, and I’m in the back, so I just freaked, ‘oh no, y’all have talked enough, take your hands off, blah blah,’ you get it.
She’s pointing her finger at me, and so mad!! But so was I, and I said to him, ‘if you don’t want me to leave, I’m telling you, you better get this done with her, bc I’m leaving, if she’s gotta be here.’
LET ME TELL YOU! HE TURNED HER AROUND, BY THE SHOULDERS, AND YELLED, ‘YOU GOTTA GO!’ pushing the girl, all the way to, and out the front door, of what was her home! I laughed, so hard!!
And I said, ‘Jessica!! This is that moment I was telling you about!! It’s here! This is it, baby, RIGHT now!!!’ She was humiliated, and, thrown out on her fat butt !! So funny. I love that story! Life did that to her, for me. All I had to do was wait.”
2. You Don't Really Feel It Anymore? Me Neither
“I had a partner who got me under false pretenses, she said that ‘some days are worse than others,’ but eventually found out that her problems were far more severe than that. But I stayed with her, I supported her, I visited her at the hospital every day when she ended up there. I was damn near perfect for several months only to have it end with ‘I don’t really feel it anymore.’
Well, my conscience was clear, I didn’t want to break up with her because that would be a low blow to an already damaged person.
So I got out, after a month she regrets her decision, she tried to see someone else who wasn’t understanding at all.
This is where the revenge comes in. I led her on and when she asked if we were back together, I said yes. The following day I phoned and said: ‘I don’t really feel it anymore.’ She pleaded that I would stay but I won’t allow someone to dump me, try something else, and then get me back. Now I was the one to end it and I felt that the balance of the universe was restored.”
1. I May Be A Thief, But Stealing From Friends Crosses The Line
“When I was 15 I was a thief. I used to steal all kinds of things. I and this ‘friend’ of mine went out one night to a place where he knew the people wouldn’t be home. We stole all kinds of things from there. One of the things I ended up taking home was a stereo receiver. I had hopes that I would use it to build an awesome stereo system.
Over time, a different friend (friend A) of mine came to see me one day. He told me this pity story about his Playstation. He said that his PlayStation had broken and that my other ‘friend’ (whom I had robbed the place with, will be referred to as ‘friend’ from here on) had offered to fix it. Then, when my friend A went to my ‘friend’ to get his PS back, my ‘friend’ told him that it was still broken and that he would talk to him again in a few weeks.
My friend who had his PS stolen wanted me to go and threaten my ‘friend’, and maybe beat his butt if he wouldn’t give the PS back. I was much bigger than either friend, so I could have.
I decided to go to my ‘friend’, and ask him for the PlayStation, or to give the PlayStation back to my friend. He flat-out refused. He claimed that since my friend had been dumb enough to give it to him, it was his own damned fault if he wanted to sell it, or throw it away, or whatever.
I thought about beating his butt, but that’s not my style. I told my other friend that I had tried to talk to my ‘friend’ to get the PS back but was unsuccessful.
3 years later, I was sitting at home one night. I was drinking and relaxing. It was about 2 am. I suddenly decided that I had waited long enough for revenge.
I changed into all black clothes.
I drove into town, found a construction site, and stole a 2X4 and a medium-sized cement block. I drove to his house. I parked at least 2 blocks away to avoid my car being seen by him. I then walked to his house, carrying the cinder block and the 2X4.
I decided to start with the 2X4. I bashed his front windshield, I bashed his side windshield, then his other side windshield and the 2X4 broke in half.
Then I picked up the cinder block and threw it against his side window. I threw it against his other side window. I threw it against his side mirror, then the other side mirror, then the hood, then the back window, and the cinder block flew straight through the window.
I walked away, didn’t tell anyone about it, and he still doesn’t know I did it.”