People Request Thorough Evaluation Of Their "Am I The Jerk" Stories
35. AITJ For Deciding To Cut Off My Dad And Stepmom From My Son's Life?
“My biological mom and dad divorced when I was 2 and for my whole childhood, one parent has tried to make me choose one or the other (I never did).
Back in the beginning of 2020, my wife (my partner at that time) and I found out she was pregnant. At that time I was living with my dad so of course I had to tell him as soon as possible so he didn’t hear it from people around town.
So I called him the day after we found out and his response was ‘Are you stupid, do you know what a contraceptive is? Gosh, son, how stupid are you?!’ I hung up the phone crushed because I was excited to become a dad.
The rest of my dad’s family had similar remakes and even made nastier ones about my wife and me as young parents. Three months later I rented a place for me and my wife to live in. Those last 3 months my dad, stepmom and I barely talked, they helped me move out then didn’t come to visit us for 3 or 4 months and we barely had any contact.
They never asked how my wife was doing or how the pregnancy was going. They didn’t even come to the gender reveal.
Well, time went by and my son was born. And all of a sudden they were so happy and proud of my wife and me.
And things seemed good for a couple of months.
Well, Easter came around and I proposed to my wife who was then my partner. My mother was going to be there (my dad refused to be in the same house as my mom) so that morning I went to visit him and told him I was proposing.
That night they texted me saying how upset they were they didn’t get invited. I can’t stress this enough, my dad and stepmom refused to be anywhere near my mom.
Not too long after that, we bought a house and had a housewarming party/engagement party.
We invited my dad and informed him my mom would be there despite his request for her not to be. Needless to say, they never showed up.
Not too long after, hurricane Ida hit and did some damage to the parish I live in. My house was damaged pretty badly, my dad’s house not so much.
Regardless I went to see them and help him put up a tarp on his roof and make sure he and my family were okay.
They never came to check on me, his grandson, or his daughter-in-law. I was very upset. Not too long after that, my son turned 1.
And they never called, texted, or even posted on social media happy birthday to my son (his only grandchild). He also never came to his party that weekend
So fed up, I told him I was done with his side of my family and that they would never see my son again.
Shortly after my wife and I got married and I made sure he was not invited. Am I the jerk?”
34. AITJ For Being Annoyed When I Did Not Get Promoted?
“I’ve been working at Staples now for about 2 years now. Last year both our Tech and Sales Supervisor got transferred to a new Staples. Since then we got a new Sales Supervisor but no Tech. At the time I was the only Tech Services Associate and I was given the ‘Unofficial’ role of Tech Supervisor.
Our last Tech Supervisor was a jerk and never did his work. So when I was given this position I tried to fix what the last guy screwed up and after a couple of months, I was successful and even helped in increasing sales numbers for the tech side of the store.
Both the General Manager and the District Manager saw this and the DM asked my manager to make me a full-time supervisor for tech.
At first, I didn’t know about this, and I kept doing my job. This didn’t come to light until I found out that he is promoting another person, who just started, to be the Tech Supervisor and not me.
My manager pulls me aside and we talk in his office about this. He told me that both he and the DM want me a Tech Supervisor, but HE chose not to because I don’t have a ‘flexible’ schedule. Which I know is nonsense because our Inventory Supervisor goes to college and only works 5 days a week and only in the mornings, while I work 6 days a week and at any time.
I told my manager about this and explained how this new guy, who’s getting the new role, only works 3 times a week. He just ignored me on what I said and said to me that he wants ME to teach the new Tech Supervisor how to do his job… What?
I had an argument with him on how that makes no sense. Why hire a new guy to be a supervisor (who has no knowledge about technology) and have the associate teach him? That’s like having someone who has a desk job teach the CEO how to run the company.
We went back and forward arguing about this until I got mad and said to him ‘You will see how hard he messes up everything’ and I just left.
Since then after the new guy got promoted to tech supervisor, he basically has gone on a whole month of vacation just to come back, work a little bit, and started to cause sales numbers to drop badly to the point that the District Manager got angry at my manager on how bad sales are.
When he came back from his vacation, on the first week he got 2 customer complaints on how he was rude and not helpful he is.
I got yelled at several times. I got blamed for bad sales numbers, why I’m not teaching him, and then was asked to fix his own mistakes.
I got very mad and said to my manager ‘I have. The problem is that you can’t teach lazy and ignorant people. I told you how bad he was going to screw up, and now you come back to me asking to fix his mistakes?
No, figure it out yourself.’ (by the way, I said this in front of the district manager) This for me was the last straw and I said in front of both the General and District Manager ‘I quit.’ I gave in my things and just packed up and left.”
33. AITJ For Not Sharing My Food With My Friend?
“I’m (16 f) a junior in high school. I don’t know how most schools are but at my school you/your parents can put money on your school ID for you to use for lunch or use cash.
It’s not just like one standard hot lunch either, there are options, or you can just get one thing if you want.
I spend my own money on lunch, so I usually bring a sandwich and then get fries or chips at school if I’m still hungry.
It saves money and time because, by the time I get my chips or fries, there’s less of a line.
3/5 days I have lunch with my friend Sasha sometimes in a group sometimes just us. I’m someone who if I have something I share, so I used to say ‘Hey if you want some help yourself’.
Most people have one or 2 and that’s it. Then I noticed Sasha was REALLY helping herself. Like eating as much as me if not more. It doesn’t work both ways either because when she gets something shareable it’s always some sort of cheese chip, like Doritos Nacho or Cheetos.
I have a dairy allergy.
Sasha’s parents put money on her ID whenever she needs it and they both have good jobs so I doubt it’s that they’re struggling or anything. She’ll always get her own lunch, like pasta or a sub or something so it’s not like she didn’t have anything.
This started annoying me more and more. It’s like if you want a whole thing of fries go buy some, don’t hog mine. So I stopped offering them when I had lunch with her. She’d still help herself ‘Mm I’m stealing fries’ or she’d turn my bag of chips towards herself and take some ‘Hehe I’m taking some chips’.
I said ‘Dude go buy your own’. She said, ‘Well I don’t want a whole bag’.
This wouldn’t be a big deal if it was just once in a while, but it’s basically every day, it adds up.
Mutual friends even noticed and said she was being really selfish and I should tell her to buy her own.
I’m confrontation-avoidant so I’d just sit at the other end of the table, or not get them if it was just her and I for lunch.
Sasha would get up and walk to where I was sitting and help herself.
Friday it was just her and I.
I was still hungry so I got some chips. She kept helping herself, then I finally said ‘Dude go buy your own seriously’. She said, ‘I just want a couple, friends share, and you always offer anyway’. I said ‘It’s always just a couple but you end up eating half if not more and I didn’t offer’.
She said ‘Fine’ and sat there silently for the rest of lunch.
A mutual friend saw me at the end of the day and said Sasha kept complaining about it and claiming I yelled at her. I might change my lunch period (we can do that) and eat with other friends because I shouldn’t have to guard my food.
AITJ for telling her to knock it off though?”
32. AITJ For Not Allowing My Partner To Pick His Sister Up?
“My partner (22 M) and I (23 NB) haven’t spent time until recently because he is very busy with his culinary school. So, with the time he had, he came by to my town to go out with me and went to get ramen.
He also made an apple pie and a few quiches to take home for me.
His sister (27 F) recently moved back into his house and has been very bossy and controlling since. Lots of demands with no P’s and Q’s, especially when it came to rides and cooking.
I don’t usually favor this type of behavior, but I try my best to avoid involving myself in family problems that aren’t mine.
So when I was at the restaurant with my partner, midway through ordering food, he got a text from his sister with demands such as ‘We’re on the train coming back home by x time, come pick us up.’ She tends to say ‘Um’ when it comes to demanding something, so she also demanded to have the apple pie and the quiches.
My partner got visibly frustrated because of this, and I wanted him to enjoy his night without any interruptions.
So what did I do? I just told him ‘No, you’re not going. Just tell her you’re in X town with your partner and don’t say anymore.’ He texted exactly this, and his sister tried to call him.
I sensed that a second person (myself) witnessing this made him muster up the courage to ignore the calls and enjoy the night.
Fast forward, we headed towards my place to drop me off and I insisted on taking a few slices of pie and leaving the rest for his sister, including a few quiches.
My partner saw that his sister was angrily texting him in a group chat with his mom, spewing profanities and calling him selfish and neglectful for not stopping hanging out with me to go pick up his sister from the train station, and how she had to spend money on an Uber (the ride is 15 mins away from home).
She also texted how I was ‘influencing him’ to become like this, which made me question if I was the jerk. I don’t know if I am, because I really don’t want to cause problems with his family.
AITJ?
Note: he also decided to leave the pie and the quiches here in my house, and my family and I loved it.
They even personally thanked him for the pastries (he’s a really good chef!).”
31. AITJ For Not Allowing My Cousin To Play With My Dollhouse?
“I (16 M) have a dollhouse that I used to play with as a kid. My late grandmother bought it for me when I was 6 and it was very expensive. It has three floors, handmade in wood and I was always told to be careful with it as the price was around 100€.
My grandmother was the person I spent most time with, she grew me up and showed me what unconditional love is because my parents always put too many expectations on me so she was the only example of that type of love I had. Even tho she was old, she never said no to taking me for most of my childhood.
Unfortunately, she passed away when I was 12.
To this day, I treat that dollhouse like a jewel although I don’t play with it anymore.
Recently my cousin, Ellise (10 F), and her sister (2 F) have been staying at my house.
Ellise is a very destructive and spoiled kid, she destroys every toy she has in her hand.
That’s why, when I was asked if she could play with my dollhouse, I was a bit hesitant but said yes, I thought there was nothing she could break and to share with her what that house meant to me (she didn’t bring any toy from her house, only two dolls she plays with most of her time, she loves creating stories.
She also brought a little board she can draw on). Sometimes I play with her but when I can’t I let her play alone.
I was okay with her playing alone until she came to me and handed me the lamp of the dollhouse, broken in two pieces.
I didn’t say anything to her and told her to play with her dolls. I went to talk about it with my mother and told her what happened. We agreed she would only play under our supervision.
So I went to school yesterday and came back to most of my dollhouse wasted. There were many pieces of furniture broken into multiple pieces.
I scolded her and told her to get out of my room.
After lunch, I silently cried gluing the pieces back together. I kept getting flashbacks of my grandmother patting my head, caressing my face, and telling me to be a big boy and protect the house at my best. My parents told me to ‘suck it up’, ‘get a hold of myself since I am almost a man and I shouldn’t be sad over such a girly thing’ and to ‘stop being a crybaby, it was just a toy.’
Before dinner, I saw Ellise was in my room again and she was putting all her physical strength into trying to break one of the objects. I told her to immediately stop and get out. I locked the room afterward.
My parents blew up at me shortly after because she is just a child and today I kept getting messages from my relatives telling me I am a jerk, some tried sweet talking in me ‘She is just a little child, isn’t she so cute?
I’d let her do everything’ and now I am confused. So, AITJ?”
Also, I admit I have some sympathy for Ellise because her parents are actually harming her by encouraging her to be selfish, destructive and spiteful. She will have few friends and is likely to suffer much harsher consequences for her behaviour if it continues. You could point that out to them if you like - that other people whose stuff she destroys may decide to give her a beating, or, once she hits adulthood, press charges.
30. AITJ For Cutting My Hair?
“I (15 F) have very thick and dark curly hair, my mother has always adored my hair she always wanted to style it when I was younger and such. (She is a hairdresser) I also have 3 other siblings who don’t have curly or thick hair but 1 brother has curly blonde.
Lately, I haven’t been taking the best care of my long hair (it was just past my back) and it has gotten to be a chore. My mother and other siblings also always nagged at me for leaving hair all over the place since I was a baby.
A few weeks ago I started to ask my mother for a haircut at first she thought a couple of inches but when I told her I wanted it past my shoulders for easier care she would laugh and shrug me off. Every time the topic came up she would ignore me or try to make me feel bad for wanting shorter hair, telling me I would look hideous and like a boy.
I stopped bringing it up for a while until I told my older sister and she wouldn’t stop bothering me about it, telling me It would be so cute and it would look so good on me.
After a few more conversations with my mother I got really fed up with her telling me I would look ugly or wouldn’t look the same as I am right then, I told her I would cut it myself if she wouldn’t, and she again brushed me off acting like I was joking.
I honestly didn’t want her to be mad at me when I had done it as I had told her many many times that I would do it myself if it had to come to that.
So that’s what I did I cut all my hair past my chin and I’d like to think I did an okay job for what I was working with.
Although I knew my older sisters would be okay with this change it was my younger sister who ratted me out after looking at me for a second. I knew my mother would have to see it sometime but the look on her face at the time was of pure horror, she yelled at me for hours after that and I told her I would do it, she didn’t believe me until now.
A few days have passed since then and she hasn’t looked at me since, she says that she won’t forgive me for what I did to my hair, but I don’t think I was completely in the wrong for it. She hasn’t been speaking to me for a while now, and almost all my other family members agree with her that I went too far for doing it myself.
So, am I the jerk for doing it?”
29. AITJ For Bonding With My Brother-In-Law?
“I (20 f) have a sister (24 f) who’s married to my brother-in-law (22 m). My BIL (let’s call him Jake) and I get along really well.
We’ve gotten close over the years and we have some inside jokes and like to play volleyball and stuff together when no one else wants to. It really is like having a brother from another mother. We like to annoy each other and often make fun of each other in a friendly way.
Anyway, this summer we were at my parents’ house for a weekend. Saturday morning I was taking care of Jake and my sister’s (we’ll call her Liza) baby so they could sleep in. No one else was up when my dad came into the living room where the baby had just fallen asleep again in my lap.
He told me that he and my mother thought it was weird that Jake and I were spending time alone, just the two of us, and apparently, I had been sitting WAY too close to Jake at the dinner table last night.
I was shocked, obviously, since I hadn’t thought anything about it.
Like I said before, me and Jake are like siblings and I have never ever thought about him in any other way. Anyway, I started crying ’cause my dad made it sound like I was trying to ‘steal’ my sister’s husband and like I was doing something wrong by being close with my BIL.
I couldn’t get out of the situation because the baby was sleeping in my arms and he would’ve woken up if I had gotten up to leave. So I told my dad to just finish his breakfast and leave me alone.
Later that day, I, Liza, and Jake went to pick up my other sister from a bus station.
On our way there I told them what my dad had said and they were shocked as well. Liza was furious and said she would talk to our dad about it. I told them I had no other than brotherly feelings towards my BIL and to tell me if anything I did ever made them uncomfortable.
When we got back my sister talked to my dad and he said ‘If you say there’s nothing weird going on, I take your word for it.’ However, he never apologized to me for making it seem like I was trying to seduce my BIL.
Also, what makes you think playing volleyball and just acting like siblings is somehow inappropriate? Thanks, Dad for making the relationship between me and my sister and her husband difficult, now every time I spend time with them I have to think about how I do things so that no one thinks there’s something going on.
Later when I had had a good night’s sleep over it I called my dad out for making things weird and never apologizing to me and he said ‘I didn’t think you were acting any different than before, and since Liza said not to talk to Jake about it, I thought I didn’t have to talk to you either’.
(I HAD BEEN GIVING DAD ONE-WORDED ANSWERS TO WHATEVER HE ASKED ME THE REST OF THE WEEKEND AND HADN’T SMILED AND JOKED WITH HIM LIKE WE USUALLY DO BUT OK.) We talked over the phone and he kinda made it seem like I shouldn’t have brought it up again and that I should pity him cause him not knowing how to say things often gets him in trouble.”
28. AITJ For Being Mad At My Dad For Ruining My Plans?
“I (18 F) and I will be leaving for college next month, but I still live with my parents.
My parents are very firm believers that as long as I am living in this house (which I have no choice at the moment) I basically owe my entire existence to them. This means being on call when they need me even if it means I have to drop what I’m doing.
This has happened twice already within 24 hours, but it also happens all the time.
My younger brother started school recently, and he plays a sport after school. My mom told me the night before (this past Sunday) that my brother would have to figure out a routine in order to stay at school since his practice starts less than an hour of him getting out of school.
On Monday, I had guests at my house due to their AC going out, and I got a call from my brother asking when I was going to be picking him up. Confused, I called both of my parents who both hung up on me.
I had to leave my guests (which is extremely rude) to pick up my brother so he could get his gear. After this, I had to drive all the way back to leave him BEFORE coming back home again. I was extremely mad because I was never told I had to pick him up, and normally, I would have been giving a vocal lesson at that time anyway.
No one checked with me even though they knew I had people over.
When I told my dad he got upset saying that family always came first, and I told him I completely agreed, but I was upset that he never asked me, yet told my brother to NOT take his gear with him because I would be picking him up.
No one ever asked me, and when I mentioned he never even told me, his response was ‘Well I’m telling you now’. Since then, it has now been MY responsibility to figure out who is picking up my brother on what days and when he will stay.
He is not my child.
This happened AGAIN this morning. My significant other (who I will not see when I leave for college in a month) wanted to go to the gym this morning with me. I asked my parents for permission, and they BOTH said yes.
5 minutes before I had to leave, I got a call from my grandma telling me I was going to be babysitting my sister while she went to an appointment. She told me my dad told her that 1) I would be home, which he knew I wouldn’t, and 2) that HE would call me with time to let me know, which he did not.
Let me make something clear, I DO NOT have any issue helping my family, I love them. I do have an issue with my parents throwing things at me last minute simply because I haven’t started school yet. I still have a small business, lessons to give, and errands to run.
It may not be important to them, but a lot of things are important to me because very soon I will no longer be living here. AITJ for getting upset over this?”
27. WIBTJ If I Report My Neighbors To The Leasing Manager?
“I (21 F) and my husband (27 M) live in an apartment complex.
Each building has eight apartments. There is a main outside entrance which leads to an enclosed hallway and staircase leading to the eight apartments.
I don’t know much about my neighbors, except for the fact that we have had constant issues with them. Mostly about their child.
I don’t imagine their child is any older than two or maybe three, but they don’t care to watch them at all. There have been numerous times that I’ve called the police because their child was walking around unattended outside. No parents in sight. This child has also hit my and my husband’s vehicles on numerous occasions, with one time leading to chipped paint on my car.
The car itself isn’t worth much, so I’m not going to be getting it fixed. I’m more upset about the principal than anything.
Ever since they moved in nearly a year ago, their child has screamed through the hallways non-stop. And when their child is screaming, they specifically stand out in the hallway until the child stops.
This lasts 15 to 30 minutes on average but has lasted more than an hour.
We’ve tried to politely speak to them about keeping an eye on the child and not disturbing their neighbors, but they pretend they cannot speak English. We know this is a lie because they like to also walk up and down the hall while having very loud phone calls.
They put their phone on speaker, so we know that they speak English extremely fluently.
Since they refuse to listen to us or talk to us, my plan is to start calling the leasing manager every time we have an issue with them. Every time we hear their child screaming during business hours, we will call the office.
And if it’s outside of regular business hours, we will call the police.
A few friends that have children said that I would be a jerk for doing this, as I don’t know the struggle of having children.”
26. AITJ For Being Mad About My Mom's Partner's Birthday Gift To Me?
“I (21 m) currently live with my mother and her partner since rent is cheaper from them than it would be otherwise and I’m chronically ill so I don’t have much money.
(My mom wants me to live here, I pay my way (rent, utilities, etc.), I clean my stuff, I do everything for myself.)
When I was a kid I was in a pretty traumatic car accident, my father had an epileptic episode while he was driving and he smashed the car driving off the road.
It looked like he was dying, I was terrified. I didn’t know what was happening. That day I decided I would never ever drive a car, and I never want to be the cause of an accident. It gives me panic attacks even just trying to practice.
My father’s epilepsy started later in life, and it could to me too. Since I can’t drive I take the bus or walk everywhere, I don’t mind that. Sometimes my mother drives me to doctor’s appointments when I have to take medication before them which causes me to be very woozy or I can struggle to walk afterward because of the shots I take so I prefer not to be on a bus then, but I will do so if she doesn’t have time/doesn’t want to.
She also just drives me sometimes places but I never make her, and it’s not even once a month, if even that. Sometimes I tag along with her places too if she asks.
I’ve mentioned to her partner that I don’t drive because of an accident I was in before.
My birthday was today, I don’t usually celebrate because I don’t like my birthday, but he apparently invited his family over. My mother is working all day, I came home from the store to them all in our living room. I was confused and they all said Happy Birthday.
It made me uncomfortable, he knows I don’t celebrate my birthday. I don’t even know his family.
Soon he comes over and hands me a gift box saying it’s from him, I say thank you and open it. Inside there is a note detailing driving lessons.
I am even more uncomfortable. He asks me why I’m giving that look, and I tell him that I’m thankful but I don’t understand why he would buy me this, I don’t want to drive, I probably should have waited till afterward, but the thought of driving makes me physically ill from anxiety.
He looked offended and told me he was helping me and that I should get it together and grow up. I told him I am grown up, I just don’t drive. He says my mom does too much for me and I told him that my mom would say if she felt bothered by it, she would.
His family is giving me dirty looks. I return the gift box and go to my bedroom because I am very clearly not very welcome anymore.
AITJ for my reaction?
He and I are not close at all, he’s been with my mom for two years and he knows some of my situation and I always say I’m happy to use the bus.
My mom doesn’t come home till the morning so I don’t know if she’ll be mad at me. I sometimes struggle with people so it’s difficult for me to know. I just cannot take these driving lessons.”
25. AITJ For Not Wanting To Come To My Nephew's Wedding Because He Didn't Allow Me To Bring A Plus-One?
“My (33 m) nephew (21 m) is getting married in a few weeks. When he first started talking about the wedding and plus ones he never directly answered the question about me in particular.
Other family members and friends who have partners they have been with for a much shorter time or no partner at all were given plus ones.
He is religious and I am gay. When I got married five years ago he didn’t attend.
I currently have a partner I’ve been with for nearly a year. My ex is still part of my family, we just didn’t work out as a couple.
He wasn’t invited directly but would have been my plus one.
When my nephew was born I helped significantly with childcare because the biological father wanted nothing to do with him at the time. Eventually, my sister (nephew’s mom) became religious and found a husband.
Throughout his teens, my nephew also lived with me for various periods of time because of circumstances. If he didn’t live with me he would have ended up in foster care.
He is currently living with our family. I have been subsidizing the costs for that family member to afford their rent for a while now.
The issue is not available spots. He has been trying to figure out who else to invite to fill in the minimum spots available because he hadn’t gotten enough yes responses to RSVP.
I was going to attend the wedding but a few days ago it got brought up about my invitation coming in my maiden name and not my current last name.
I did a full legal name change after getting married because I don’t have a connection to my maiden name. I had reminded him about the name change before invitations went out. The topic then became about being singled out by not having a plus one.
I asked why I wasn’t given a plus one and others who weren’t as close were. He wouldn’t directly answer why because he ‘didn’t want to hurt my feelings’ but he did say that it was his wedding and I shouldn’t make it about myself and just support him.
I brought up that he didn’t do that when I previously got married (this was out of hurt and probably shouldn’t have been said). He then responded that I was ‘lucky’ to have a relationship with him even though he could have disowned me for being gay like other family members.
We basically went silent after that and I’m questioning if I should go still.
WIBTJ if I didn’t go to his wedding?”
24. AITJ For Not Letting My Dad Walk Me Down The Aisle?
“I (21 F) recently got married to my now spouse (21 NB) a couple of months ago. They identify as non-binary, which I don’t have any problem with. I support them in any way I can regarding their identity, and I’m happy that they found a label they feel comfortable with.
I love them, and I will always do whatever I can to make sure they know that.
We got together sophomore year of high school (before they transitioned) and my parents were very supportive of our relationship, we went out for a couple more years before my partner came out to me as non-binary.
It didn’t surprise me at all, to be honest, they dress very androgynous and didn’t really like feminine things. So I sorta saw it coming.
It took a while but eventually, they got the courage to tell my parents too, they just let both of them know that they preferred if they used they/them instead of she/her when referring to them.
Both of my parents seemed accepting, and I thought it went well. But I guess I was wrong.
A few days went by and I went to visit my parents again, without my partner. While we were talking my dad brought them up in conversation, he used ‘she’ and I politely corrected him to which he rolled his eyes and continued. This was a common occurrence with him even a full year after.
He’d also refer to them as my significant other, and he hated the way they dressed. They dress the same as they did before transitioning so I don’t know why he didn’t have a problem then but he’d make rude comments such as ‘You’d look better in a dress.’ ‘You look like a man’ which made them feel awful.
He was mad when he found out the news about our engagement. He straight up told me ‘I tolerated the thought of you marrying a girl, but how am I supposed to sit here and watch you marry a (t slur)?’
I will never forgive him for saying that, no matter how many times my mom tells me it was just the way he was raised or he says he was shocked, I don’t care.
I’ve had enough. If he was so mad about me marrying my partner, then he just wouldn’t be invited to the wedding.
I never shared the wedding date with my parents, I never sent them an invite, and I made sure they wouldn’t be there.
I got my best friend to walk me down the aisle instead, and we got married. It was the happiest day of my life, my parents found out we were married after seeing pictures online a week or so later, and I got a very angry voicemail from the two of them.
My dad was upset he didn’t get to walk me down the aisle, and my mom screamed at me through the speaker for not letting him.
I sent one back explaining how Dad’s comments about the wedding made me think he didn’t wanna come, especially since I was getting married to someone who didn’t fit in his perfect little box.
I told them we could talk once they treated my spouse with every ounce of respect they’d treat anyone else with and left it at that. Over time, I have gotten messages from other families telling me how rude it was that I excluded my father from my wedding regardless of what he said to me.
Am I in the wrong?”
23. AITJ For Not Wanting To Talk To My Sister About Work?
“I (30 F) and my sister (34 F) grew up in a toxic environment where we were constantly pitted against each other. As young adults, we agreed to avoid situations in which we would be forced to compete because by then we knew neither of us could handle that emotionally.
We went on to pursue different degrees: she wanted to be a literary editor and I wanted to translate books. All was well.
After completing her BA my sister decided to switch to the same major as me. She asked me if I was okay with that and I said yes because she wanted to go into teaching, which would still be a completely different career.
It worked out for a bit and we both had successes in our chosen careers. Then a few years ago my sister suddenly started taking up small translating jobs. When I expressed my discomfort with that she convinced me it was okay because she was only interested in translating medical workshops, while I specialized in mental health and psychotherapy books, so our fields were still far enough apart for us not to be each other’s competition.
Yet things escalated from there.
She went on to work as an exclusive translator for someone blending physical therapy with psychotherapy, which she told me was still okay because it wasn’t strictly psychotherapy, so again not my field. Then this year she ended up translating workshops that were actually, literally, EXACTLY in my field (analytical psychology and dream interpretation).
I really needed some money at that time and was upset that she took the job instead of recommending me, but when I asked her why she did that despite our agreement, she said something along the lines of ‘You wouldn’t have taken it anyway, aren’t books your thing?
I’d never want to do books, they’re so much work for so little money.’ Next thing I know… she has a contract for a book translation!
I think it’s understandable that I’m a bit bitter. Just a tad. A smidgen. I mean if she at least told me she wanted to get into the same field as me in advance I’d work under a pseudonym.
But now I feel lied to and chased into a corner. I can’t even take a break because I feel like if I stop working for even a little while, my sister will step into my place on the market. I have literal nightmares about people comparing our work.
I swear to God if I ever hear ‘You must be XY’s sister!’ in a professional context, I’ll have a nervous breakdown. It’s really messing me up.
So I told my sister I don’t want to talk to her about work until I can sort through all this with some therapy (once I can afford it).
I can’t be happy for her achievements right now and I don’t want to unload on her so I just want to avoid the subject. But both she and my family say I’m being an envious, oversensitive jerk and making everything about myself. I can’t tell what’s what anymore – AITJ?”
22. AITJ For Giving A Restaurant A Bad Rating?
“I (15 F) ordered delivery from a Japanese restaurant Friday. When I ordered it it was 6:30 PM, since it’s a Friday I figured it would take like two hours or so for it to get ready because they would obviously be a lot more occupied than other days.
I ordered it on one of these delivery apps so I can track the order. At 7:40 approximately I checked the app and it said that the order was still processing, they weren’t making it yet I didn’t think much of it because again Friday they were busy so I just let it be.
When it was 8:30 PM I decided to look again and it still said the order wasn’t even getting prepared, I decided to send a text to the restaurant to ask if it was just a glitch or something or if they were like really busy and because of that they weren’t able to prepare yet.
The woman who was working there said it was not a glitch and the order was in preparation but it should be prepared soon. There were like one or two orders up in front of it. I said thanks and decided to wait some more time.
At that point, I was checking the website every 10 minutes or so after one hour passed at 9:30 PM I decided to send another text, because it didn’t make sense why would it take one hour for two orders. She said that they were very busy that it was a Friday night and there was nothing she could do about it.
I agreed there was nothing she could do about it but I asked her to ask the chefs to do my order. I continued asking her if she could check out my order. As one hour passed, at 10:30, they finally started doing my order. I only got it at 11:30 PM which is absurd since I only live 10 minutes from the restaurant and I didn’t order a lot of things.
In this app, we have the option to tip the restaurant and the delivery guy. I obviously tipped the delivery guy but didn’t tip the restaurant and gave it a one-star rating. I told my friend but she said I was a jerk for it.
I got kind of worried and I’m thinking about it. So am I?”
21. AITJ For Wanting To Get Paid More For Babysitting My Sister's Daughter?
“So about a week ago, my (f 18) sister asked me (f 15) to babysit her (f 9 months) baby. I agreed thinking she would just fall asleep, while my sister was at work. Well about an hour in I call my sister crying. Her baby is just ear-piercing screaming, and I am on my period with very bad cramps.
I have given this baby everything. Fed, burped, changed, laid down, paid attention to, and even put on Cocomelon. Come to find out my sister was cleaning her room. She says she can pick her up in 15-30 minutes.
Fast forward to 3:30 am. I put her down with her aunt and she fell asleep with my aunt (who I live with).
And my sister texted me saying she would be there soon (5 1/2 hours after she said 15-30 minutes and 1 1/2 hours late) and she paid me $27 cash.
Yesterday I asked her for the $17 she owed me. She got mad yelling at me saying she only owes me $8.
Calling me names and saying I get 8 or nothing. I posted on my story saying that people are broke and calling her selfish and rude without saying it was her. Come to find out she was not cleaning her room asleep or at work. She was hanging out with her friends.
Fast forward to today 5 am. I got messages from my (46) mom calling me selfish and saying I should do it for free because I am family, and day centers only do 3 per hour per child. I say I was doing 3.75 per hour. She said ‘Well aunt does it for free.’ I replied with ‘I am not aunt.’ She said ‘You sound greedy!’ And I said ‘You sound like a Karen and Sister sounds immature and broke, I won’t let her use me just because we are family’.
My mom has a long history of trying to manipulate people and spoiling my sister.
My sister wants to pay 5 for the 1 1/2 hours late instead of the 10 per hour like she agreed to.
So AITJ for wanting her to pay me the extra she owes for being 1 1/2 late?
Edit: my sister often goes out with friends and practically neglects her kids. That’s why I agreed to babysit in the first place. He has gone to the extent where the baby’s more attached to my aunt than my sister. The only reason people agreed to babysit the baby for free is cuz they don’t want her to get harmed cuz of the extent of neglect.
I have 11 siblings so I’m very used to babysitting kids. All of my family agreed that she is a particularly fussy baby.”
20. AITJ For Not Wanting To Babysit My Sister's Kids Anymore?
“My sister (A) and her husband (B) have lived with us a couple of years or so after his mom kicked them out of her house.
During this time, his mom had custody of his 4 nephews (ages ranging from 4-10). Turns out their home life was not well at all, and in February of this year, my sister gained partial custody then full custody of all 4, and they moved into our house while her husband is in jail (honestly a stupid reason, only reason he got prosecuted was because he injured himself and they labeled it as child endangerment since the kids were in the house when it happened).
I’m fine with them, I’m quite happy that A has taken up that role, but I and many of the family believe it’s happened so fast, as well as she’s the type to occasionally feel entitled (if you don’t help she’ll get upset, try to throw things in your face), and I’m underage about to go into my senior year of high school, I was meant to get this summer off but instead it’s been spent watching either one or all of them during the week as my sister works, my mom works, and my dad is on summer break as well and tries to help.
It’s frustrating, and mentally exhausting to be stuck to watching kids when I want to enjoy my summer break myself. But nobody else wants to watch them (and I don’t blame them). It took over a month of my mom pestering my sister to pay me and she finally did.
So, she’s moving out soon. In the process. Her husband is coming out of jail and I’m thinking if they ask, saying I’ve done enough, Maybe occasionally say sure but make it known that it’s mentally exhausting and I’m not built to watch kids yet.
That’s where I think I’m the jerk, as she may need the help. Still does, and I’m aware and I feel selfish in my thinking but it’s honest thoughts. Im tired. I want to be able to play my PlayStation, chill out in my room, and do my own things but instead, I’m stuck watching a kid 24/7.
WIBTJ?”
19. AITJ For Blaming My Partner For My Bad Haircut?
“My (21 F) partner (26 M) and I live together. I had really, really long hair. I’m a trans woman so I never used to get to have long hair, which is why I always wanted it, but it did get to the point where it was probably annoyingly long for my partner.
His ideal hair length on a woman is shoulder length, mine went past my chest, and he was always telling me it looked like I just escaped from a religious cult. I found that kind of mean because I grew up in a hyper-religious family, but I can see why he said so, especially because he found it annoying that my hair would get everywhere.
I’d always clean it up when I saw it, but sometimes I wouldn’t see it and that was pretty gross for him.
I told him I was going to get it cut, but my hairdresser got sick so I had to postpone. I didn’t think this was a big deal because we could wait a few weeks, and he told me he agreed. Until he suggested we go out for ‘ice cream’ at a new place and he actually just drove me to the hair salon.
I told him he was treating me like a child. He said he wouldn’t have to treat me like a child if I wasn’t acting like one, but my hairdresser actually did get sick. The place he took me to is known for being cheap and mostly does children’s hair, I showed the hairdresser my photo and he ended up giving me the ugliest bob with the ugliest bangs known to man.
I was really happy with my appearance before the haircut and now I feel hideous again. My partner says it doesn’t look that bad and I can’t blame him because even if he brought me there, I ultimately made the decision to get it cut.
I didn’t actually want to get my hair cut but he was humiliating me and I have really bad social anxiety so after he said I wanted a haircut, I could not use my words to get out of it. I didn’t want to make a scene and it would have felt like making a scene, but the least I could do was just walk out wordlessly, but I didn’t.
I don’t know why I didn’t. And now I’m upset at him for a decision I ultimately made, and like a child, I feel like he made me make it. I don’t want to blame him but I just feel really hurt. It’s been a day and I still can’t get over it, I can’t stop crying and it’s just making him mad, which is why I’m asking here.
I need another perspective on this because it’s just back and forth between me and him, which I don’t want it to be! I love him and I’d like this to be over. AITJ?”
18. AITJ For Clapping Back At My Mom's Friend's Son?
“I (18 F) live with my mom (40s F) while I finish college soon. Yesterday she asked me to come with her to a birthday party for a friend’s daughter who was turning 9. I decided to go because I had nothing else to do.
When we got there my mom and her friend (Emma, fake name) greeted each other. She looked at me and immediately introduced me to her son Noah (19 M)
My mom told me to go talk to Noah since he was one of the only people who was my age so I thought why not?
Me and Noah went to the living room and talked, well, he did most of the talking since he kept interrupting me but I brushed it off because I was too shy to say anything at that moment.
He would tell me how lonely he was and wanted a significant other but every girl kept rejecting him, and he didn’t know why.
I comforted him a bit, telling him he just hadn’t met the right one.
I should point out that I was wearing a crop top and ripped jeans so when I raise my arms, you can see my armpits. I stretched and he looked at my armpits and said ‘Why didn’t you shave?’ He said it kinda loudly so people around us were kinda staring and I started to get nervous.
I told him that I don’t shave as often and he told me how ‘women shouldn’t have hair anywhere. It makes them look like a man’. I said to him that everyone grows hair but he kept making some sexist comments. How a woman shouldn’t talk back to a man and that I should learn my place, etc.
I rolled my eyes and got impatient, telling him ‘This is why you don’t have a girl’. I didn’t say it that loud but it was loud enough for people around us to hear.
I went to my mom and asked her if we could leave, but she declined saying we just got here.
So I told her I was gonna call my brother to take me home, leaving the house and calling my brother to pick me up.
I got home and went into my room, too upset to do anything.
My mom got home like 20-30 minutes later and started to go off on me, asking me why I insulted Emma’s son like that.
I told her about what he said to me but she said that Noah was right and I should’ve just let it go.
Now I’m expected to apologize to Noah or else my mom will stop paying for my college or do something worse, and I don’t know what that ‘worse’ can mean.
So AITJ? I’m overthinking it right now and I’ve never had this sort of stuff happen to me before.”
17. AITJ For Taking My Friends' Concert Tickets?
“So my friends and I bought tickets to a concert a couple of years ago, and I was the one to pay for all of them.
They were pretty expensive (>$1000), but it was easiest for one person to buy all of them together. They promised to pay me back, and we worked out a rough payment plan.
Immediately, my friends didn’t stick to the plan, but we were pretty excited about planning the trip and they promised they would give the money when they had it.
I was pretty chill about the whole thing, but as time passed, I noticed that they were spending their money on trivial things and treating themselves without putting that money towards paying me. It was over a YEAR and some change, and I hadn’t seen a dime besides about a quarter of the costs they gave me upfront.
I think they were waiting to see what happened with the global crisis, but they left me to eat the expense.
It got to the point that I was so frustrated and hurt that I didn’t even want to go with them anymore, especially because I would probably be the one to book the hotels, etc. I also saw that ticket prices were about 3x what I originally bought them for, so I told my friends that they weren’t going to get the tickets and I was going to sell them.
I refunded their initial payments and they threw a FIT. I told them I was going to sell the tickets, but I wound up keeping them and going with other people because those were technically MY tickets.
My friends tried to throw a tantrum demanding I give them the equity, too, but I gave them what they gave me.
I think that I sat on that expense for long enough that the money is mine even if I had sold them.
I never told my (now ex) friends I wound up going, but I think that I don’t owe them anything. I felt like in their eyes I had put down some sort of deposit – which isn’t how this works when buying tickets!
Am I the jerk for taking the tickets?”
16. AITJ For Being Annoyed At My Neighbor Who Always Complains About Her Tenants?
“I am a retiree and part of a neighborhood where many people have known each other for decades. We are quite close.
There is one neighbor, Sarah, who compared to the rest of us, who recently moved in. She owns one house and lives in another house next to it.
Both houses are crammed with as many families as possible.
Want to have guests over? Too bad, all her tenants have taken up all the street parking. Literally.
Try to have a conversation with her? Half the stuff out of her mouth dehumanizes tenants.
I’ve met her tenants over the years.
Very nice people, some immigrants trying to survive the brutal housing market.
Yes, she has confirmed none are late on rent. In fact, nothing out of her mouth has substantiated bad tenants. No damage to property, no late rent. But the fact they rent from her is good enough.
‘Something must be wrong with them or their past’. SO many stupid remarks like that.
Also, dog poop on my lawn? ‘Must be the tenants, you know how renters are. No respect’.
No sweetie, the fact I’m asking you specifically about it is because I saw YOUR dog pooping on my lawn.
3 TIMES.
This has gone on for a couple of years and I (and other people in the neighborhood have told her off). She must be tone-deaf because she doesn’t get offended, says nothing, and it continues later on again. We are tired of her disrespecting her nice tenants.
Yesterday we had our annual neighborhood BBQ fest inside my backyard. Everyone gets invited. Sarah comes along and yes, everything has to be about her ‘jerk’ tenants.
Someone talks about the speculation of an increased level of criminal activity in area? ‘Oh haha, they’re probably my tenants.
I can’t imagine why else they can’t have their own home, I’m assuming they have a criminal past’.
Someone talks about their kid (mine) having to live with them because rent is so high? ‘Uh, at least you don’t have to deal with my tenants.
They keep complaining when the hot water is out. Such nuisance.’
I’m sorry, as a landlord pretty sure that’s your job to deal with?
At some point, I hated her. In sorry, I just hate this terrible, mean, pathetic human being who dehumanizes people.
Especially AFTER being told previously, multiple times, to be more respectful. Done trying to be polite.
So, I had enough. And was done being nice to her. I’ll be mean too. After years of dehumanizing people and not learning your lesson, I’ll be mean. Screw it.
I don’t care.
At some point, she was standing next to me and we had a trivial side conversation. And she told me ‘You should try renting, it’s such easy income (after complaining about how hard it was 10 minutes ago)’.
So I looked at her and said ‘I have skills for a job to pay my mortgage and don’t need to rely on other people to subsidize my property.
No thanks. But say hi to your tenants for me (some did not attend), and walked away. Anyone who knows about this is in support of me. Sarah has put a letter in my mailbox threatening to sue for ‘cruel mistreatment’. Really?
AITJ?”
15. AITJ For How I Reacted After Finding Out My Cousins Played With My Pokémon Cards?
“I (19 M) have been collecting Pokemon cards since I was 7 with my dad. My dad had a holographic Charizard card from when he was young and it was in VERY mint condition.
My dad passed away a few years ago due to cancer and he gave me the card before he died. I’ve collected a lot of cards with my dad but this is one card that I will always cherish. I displayed it on a shelf next to a photo of him.
My aunt came over one day with my cousins (10 m and 13 m) for a visit. My mom asked me to go out and order some pizza. Before I left, my cousins asked me if they could play in my room. (I have a PS4 and I always let them play when they come over) I told them to wait until I got back.
They seemed a bit upset but agreed to wait and I left. When I came back, I noticed my cousins weren’t in the living room. I saw my mom in the backyard having a smoke with my aunt and assumed they were playing outside.
I went up to my room and I was in utter shock. My cousins were there and I saw them playing with my Pokemon cards. I noticed my cousin (10 m) holding my dad’s card and told him to give it back. He said no because he was playing with it.
Instead of saying anything else, I went up to him and took it out of his hand. I looked at the card and wanted to cry. The card was bent almost in half and there were creases. My cousin tried to take it back from me but I shouted at them to get out of my room.
They both got up and left crying.
A few minutes later my mom came up to my room and asked me what was wrong. I told her what happened and that’s when my aunt came up and called me a jerk for getting mad over some cards.
To be honest I didn’t really care if they were playing with the other cards, the Charizard card is the one I never wanted anyone to touch. I told my aunt they weren’t allowed in my room anymore unless they apologized. My aunt said they weren’t going to apologize for being kids and that I should grow up.
My mom kicked her out of the house and told her that she wasn’t allowed back here anymore unless she and her kids apologized. AITJ? I love my cousins and I enjoy spending time with them but I can’t help but feel hurt that the one thing my dad left with me is ruined.”
14. AITJ For Not Being Supportive Of My Best Friend?
“Serena (31 F) and I (30 F) have been best friends since our sophomore year of college. We were always very close and were even each other’s maid of honor. She and I truly were like sisters and I’m devastated that this is happening.
A little background: Hubby and I have been trying to have a baby for 4 years and no dice.
Serena knows this.
4 months after Serena’s wedding, we were at a get-together and when I asked her what she wanted to drink she chuckled and said she was good with water, to which I jokingly replied ‘Ha, right, what are you pregnant?’ Everyone went silent, she continued laughing and said yes she was.
Although my heart sank a little I was ready to gush and tell her how happy I was for her but she talked over me saying that it was super easy for her to get pregnant, that her husband didn’t want a baby but screw it, that her life was perfect because she got pregnant on her honeymoon, that she had been told she wasn’t going to be able to conceive but here she was ‘a walking miracle,’ and on and on just bragging.
I felt so small and left the party without saying a word.
A few days later I found out that everyone at that get-together knew about her pregnancy for a month. I was mad but decided to leave it – I wasn’t about to get into a fight with my pregnant best friend.
I let it ride and the following week we went to dinner. She continued bragging about how easy everything was for her. What was interesting about this was that she then followed the bragging by saying that she didn’t know how she was gonna tell me the news because she was sure I wouldn’t be happy for her since I was struggling so much.
Again, I played nice and told her that of course I was happy for her and left it at that.
I kinda ghosted her after that but blamed it on work and some other nonsense. I never texted her to ask how she was doing or offered any help with anything.
I then found out on Instagram she had a gender reveal and told me nothing. I confronted her nicely and she apologized but then again I ghosted her and made it obvious that I wanted nothing to do with her or her pregnancy.
Her cousin called me a couple of months later to invite me to the baby shower and I RSVPd yes.
On the day of the shower, I had an emergency with my family and couldn’t go but I sent my gift. I tried to explain it to her but it fell on deaf ears and I didn’t even get a thank you for the gifts.
She hasn’t spoken to me after that and gave birth a couple of weeks ago. I sent her a congrats text but got no answer and I feel like a total jerk for not being present in this huge moment of my best friend’s life.
I’m feeling guilty that I didn’t just let it slide and be there for her.
AITJ for being petty and ghosting her pretty much messing up our friendship?”
13. AITJ For Not Letting My Friend Stay At My House?
“I (25 f) have a friend (25 f) who I met through my friend’s partner.
We’ve hung out maybe 7 times, but never spent a weekend together or anything, she’s stayed at my parents’ house when I lived there, years ago. I got a house and I have not seen her in years because she moved to NC. She planned a trip to visit AL (where I live).
I told her we could totally hang out while she was here, I was glad to get to see her. She booked a flight months ago. She’s set to arrive on Saturday, right? So, I tell her we can go out and have a drink at the bar or so and since she leaves Wednesday morning, I would try and get some friends to get together on Tuesday so we can all see her off.
It’s Thursday right now and she asks what my number is because we usually communicate through Snapchat. Well, the first text she sent me once I gave it to her was ‘Hey, it’s me, question; do you have any room if I needed a place to stay.’ I’m confused now, feeling bad but I work from home in my living room and my partner works upstairs from home.
On top of all that, my partner just started a new job. We don’t have a spare bedroom, unfortunately, no mattress, so she could stay on my couch in my living room but again I work from home… and honestly, I just don’t love the idea.
If she didn’t even have my phone number, it felt very odd for her to ask to stay with me, right? And Sunday is Mother’s Day so I wouldn’t want her in my house alone… I don’t know what to do.
Am I the jerk if I tell her no?
I haven’t even told my partner, I’m sure they would not like it either. I do trust this person but it’s tough for me to not have time to prepare as I have 3 cats. She just texted me ‘Call me when you can’ because I didn’t answer and she did text me an hour ago.
She may have nowhere else to go. Thoughts?!”
12. AITJ For Telling My Dad To Stop Being Hard On My Kid?
“I am visiting from abroad for the first time in 2 years with my 4-year-old daughter (DD).
Today, we went to our town playground (my mom, dad, and DD ). My father by playing with my DD accidentally made her fall. She scratched her knee and my DD cried (of course) telling him ‘It’s not nice what you did, Grandpa’.
He walked away angry but not far. My mom and I calmed DD. On our way home, my father was joking that he would tape her leg and she might not be able to walk for days. DD was half laughing, half scared, and saying that he was talking silly.
We were all laughing.
At home, my DD did not want him to take care of her scratch because she was a bit scared. Me and my mom reassured her that he would take good care of her. I was there the all time. DD cried when he put désinfectant, normal, it itched. Then, my parents didn’t have regular Band-Aid but rather gauze and tape or fabric bandages, he asked her what she wanted, but she couldn’t decide, was hesitant, and started crying loudly.
My father started to yell ‘That’s enough and that he didn’t like whiners.’ I stepped in, put her a bit of tape, said to my father that it was good, and took my daughter outside.
DD was still crying loudly because she didn’t want the tape I put on.
My father followed and yelled ‘Stop being whiny’ and wanted to take the tape angrily off her knees. As I was holding DD, I stepped back, sat, and said she would be fine in a minute and just to let her space. During all of this, my mother just was trying to distract and amuse her and undermined her feelings sort of.
My father wanted to argue more, AITJ for telling my father ‘that she was being a kid and he should cool off inside if he wanted to scream’?
My mom thinks so.”
11. AITJ For Reporting Our Neighbors' Dog To Animal Control Several Times?
“So about a year ago my neighbors (they live one street over and I can see their backyard from my front) got a beagle.
I am a smoker (please don’t judge too harshly) and am out on our front porch many times a day to smoke. It was spring and I would see the beagle out of the yard, he would drive by looking for him and I usually would point him to where he ran off.
Quick side note: I and my partner are dog dads, and we have health insurance on them. Walk and play with them daily, etc.
Well by the time summer hit, he was a good 20+ lbs overweight. One day during a heat advisory, we saw him out and about and no owner looking.
So by this point, we knew his name called him over gave him water, and brought him inside. We drove over to their house with him and no one was home. Left a note with our names, address, and phone numbers saying we have Toby… Seven hours later they came and got him.
This happened again the next day. After the third time, we stopped leaving notes as he would never call and just drive up. We eventually made a sign after the 20th time and hung it on our door… ‘Toby is Here’.
The guy would show up each time, never with shoes on, usually questionable if he was wasted, and make some excuse about this being the neighbors’ fault as they have a crappy fence that he can get through.
He doesn’t work we found out.
We bought them 50 ft of rabbit fencing and many metal fence posts so they could patch it.
It continued to happen almost daily, sometimes multiple times a day. Often now it would be hours before they came to look for him.
After literally six months of this, I eventually snapped as I work from home and it began to consume way too much of my time. I told him flat out take care of your animal or we will start calling animal control.
He fixed his fence and no more issue… That is until January.
Snow on the ground, 11 pm on a Friday night and we hear him at our front door. We let him in. Flash forward to Monday morning, and they haven’t looked for him or called us so we called animal control. They picked him up, and two hours later he was back at our door.
Since January we have called animal control 13 times and had him picked up. I no longer have to give my address, they know who I am when I say ‘We have Toby again’. After the third time, the county charges them $515 per pickup. Animal control has stated they hope he doesn’t pay it so they can find him a good home.
I feel bad as I am a dog person for reporting him so many times. My goal originally was maybe they would… I don’t know, watch their dog or take care of the issue so he isn’t wandering the neighborhood constantly. Now I am just hoping he doesn’t get claimed and finds a good home.
So am I the jerk?”
10. AITJ For Choosing To Stay At My Aunt's On School Breaks?
“I (F 19) stayed with my dad and stepmom for a year when my mom left to live in another country with my stepdad. I haven’t lived with him since I was 5 and only saw him/slept over on weekends but that also ended in 2020.
When I first moved, in my dad told me my stepmom was extremely generous for letting me stay with them and that I should be grateful towards her. She’s a very nice lady but I just thought it was odd that they both made it seem like I was a burden to be staying with them.
During that year, I never got comfortable with my stepmom or even my dad cause they always treated me like a guest. They complained that I showered too late (10 pm) and that I always stayed in my room. I understand that it’s their home but it was just a very uncomfortable experience for me.
My dad was never home as he worked and went out with his friends most nights and my stepmom was always home cause she’s a stay-at-home wife and doesn’t leave the house. Ever.
One night my stepmom had something to do so I went to pick up my dad cause he was wasted. He told me in the car that I should try and show less affection to him when my stepmom was around cause she would get jealous.
I could kind of tell cause whenever I would hug him or greet him whenever he got home from work, she would also ask him to hug her and give her attention.
When I heard this, I completely gave up on trying to build a connection with both my stepmom and my dad because what?
I understand that she’s 11 years younger than him and isn’t used to another presence in the house but this weirded me out. I distanced myself from them and would leave in the mornings and come home late at night.
When I went away from college, my stepmom took my house key and sent me a long text message about how I didn’t take everything out of my room in the house and how she had to take everything out.
I thought I could leave some stuff in my room because I would come back for breaks and wouldn’t have to pack as much but I think she thought I wasn’t going to come back. I wish I could talk to my dad about everything but I don’t have a close relationship with him at all, especially because it feels like he would always take my stepmom’s side and he would neglect me emotionally.
I decided to stay with my aunts during my summer break because I just can’t go back to that house but I don’t know how to tell him. What should I do?”
9. AITJ For Trying To Get Closer To My Dad Because He's Successful Now?
“So my dad was present for my birth, but I (25 F) had basically no memories of him because I never saw him for my entire childhood.
I saw him for one day at a wedding when I was 6, and the next time I saw him was at my high school graduation. We’re friends on social media, but neither of us uses social media at all. His birthday is the day after mine, and since I friended him on social media at my graduation, I message him happy birthday every year.
On Father’s Day, when I can afford it, I try to send him a small present, like a $5 Starbucks e-gift card or something. Sometimes he responds, sometimes he doesn’t. He’s never initiated contact with me, and I was okay with this. It was just a fact of life, and I don’t think I would have liked him much anyway.
I found out from his sister’s social media posts that not only did he start practicing law, but he’s become the mayor of his city, and is doing really well. I saw that he’d remarried, and was building a really nice townhome for his wife and stepdaughters.
My interest was piqued, especially since I’m trying to get a related job in the same area. (I can’t give specifics, but his position would be extremely beneficial to me.) I wanted to ask him questions and pick his brain to see what he knew, so I messaged him.
To my surprise, he actually responded AND called me back. But then he asked me why I had called, and I told him I just wanted to say hi and congratulate him. He told me ‘Oh, I thought you were trying to ask me for some money.
I’m glad you’re not.’ That made me feel super weird, and I decided to back off.
I don’t want to be an opportunist and show up out of nowhere to mooch off his success, but at the same time he would be extremely helpful to me and it’s hard to ignore that.
AITJ for trying to get closer to him because he’s successful now?”
8. AITJ For Clapping Back At My Aunt's Offensive Comments?
“I (F 21) finally lost it after my aunt made yet another unprompted unsolicited comment about my appearance over dinner.
She decided to stay the weekend in our family home, she’s been here since Friday, out of the blue, and my mom happily let her.
Ever since her arrival, she has been making one comment after another about my looks and only mine. They were never directed at my brothers and up until today, I managed to brush most of it off because I’m busy and I tune her out whenever I’m in her general vicinity.
The last straw was during dinner, while I was talking to my grandma about soup, she interrupted me and made a comment out of nowhere about the state of my skin. My skin, to me, has been at its best for the last 2 years or so, and I’ve put a lot of effort into trying to be less preoccupied about it in general. I replied to her with a simple ‘So?’ hoping my tone would make her drop it.
Instead, she continued and went on about how water is the solution, etc. I made a comment in English about how incredibly rude she was and that I can’t magically make a pimple disappear just because she pointed it out.
She didn’t understand (she doesn’t speak English) and still went on.
My mother who was sitting next to me and understood, got affronted on her behalf and told me to respect my elders. I told her how my aunt has been making these comments since her arrival to which my mom replied ‘I make comments about your appearance all the time.
It’s fine.’
I wanted to yell. I didn’t but I was close. I told her it’s not okay when she does it either and walked away fuming.
I come from an Asian household and I’m known to be confrontational ever since I grew a backbone at 18.
Before then, I’d take a lot of backhanded comments on how I look, dress, and act from several relatives without a fight. I had comments ranging from ‘You should marry a foreigner so your babies would have a chance to look beautiful’ to the classic ‘You’ve gained weight no wonder you’re single!’
I have an eating disorder and I’m about 100 pounds max (I’m leaning towards underweight for my height and this is the best weight I’ve had in years). I have gone days on end where I’d only consume 500 calories max and to this day my relationship with food is still under repair.
I understand it looks petty when it’s isolated to just the dinner and nothing more so that might’ve been why, at least from my mother’s POV, it looks like I’m being snippy out of nowhere. They’ve always conveniently done that instead of looking at the build-up because then they can actually be held accountable for what they’ve been doing.
I do feel like I should apologize but I don’t want to, at least not at the moment.
AITJ?”
7. AITJ For Calling Out A Woman For Stealing Credit For My Work?
“I work in education and film. Several years ago I was given a really kind and amazing offer to film an interview with a world famous film director, and I gave the opportunity to some of my students to join me as crew.
I arranged to pay for all their travel and accommodation during the trip we would have to make.
I’ve since discovered one of the students, having graduated and gone on to her own career, has an agent, and on their bio on the agent’s website it claims that THEY conducted the interview with the film director AND that it was for the BBC.
I can easily prove this to be untrue. I should add that this particular interview was very special and holds a great deal of pride for me as a career highlight. For someone else to claim they did it, especially after the opportunity I gave them, is quite upsetting.
I wrote an email to the agent asking politely if they wouldn’t mind making a correction to the bio on this one point, as I felt credit was being taken for work I had done. I didn’t go into any other details or make accusations – just simply stated that it was I who had done the interview and that it wasn’t for the BBC, but for my research.
The agent replied accusing me of attempting to ‘(go) after a young woman’s career for egotistical purposes’, and going ‘out of (my) way to try and affect a young woman’s career… with such a petty request’; while refusing to make the change I requested. This was followed with ‘Happy International Women’s Day’ as if I was also a jerk because I called out a woman for stealing credit for my work on this particular day.
No concern at all about their client acting dishonestly in the slightest, or acknowledgement of any wrongdoing or error. My asking for this one change would have no impact on this person’s career, but I felt it was wrong – ethically and morally. There were further insults in the email which I won’t go into, but all along the same lines of how pathetic I am.
AITJ for not wanting someone to take credit for my hard work and achievement, and for finding the response I received to be unprofessional?”
6. AITJ For Accepting The Inheritance Money My Uncle Got From My Grandma?
“I (24 f) am going to outline my paternal family. My grandmother passed about a year ago. She had four kids, ‘Adam’ (60s m), ‘John’ (50s m), my dad (50s m), and ‘Anna’ (who is estranged and irrelevant to the story).
Adam has 3 kids, John has none, and I am an only child.
When my grandmother passed, as written in her will, her wealth was divided equally between four of her kids.
The problem came up when a few months ago John offered me his share of the inheritance.
He has his own wealth, has retired, and doesn’t feel like he needs any more money. I accepted. Since then there have been two problems that make me think I may be a jerk.
1: My grandmother was mean, cruel, and hateful. As the only queer and least white-passing grandchild, I was more aware of this than anyone else.
Since she passed, I’ve only heard more heinous things she had said about me and my family that I don’t care to repeat. I haven’t cried over her death and have no problem slandering the dead.
My friends have said that I’m a jerk either because I’m accepting money from a racist homophobe, or because I’m taking her money while not caring for her and knowing she wouldn’t want me to have her money.
2: There is a class difference between my family and my uncles. As a result, I have finished grad school debt-free while my cousins haven’t had similar privileges. One of them has a baby on the way, one makes a teacher’s salary, and the other just graduated from university with so much debt.
Recently we were all on a family dinner Zoom and I was talking about my gap year plans. I mentioned travel and pursuing academic research in my field. My cousins asked how I could afford to do all that, and as much as I tried to dodge the question, the story came out.
The mood shifted immediately, and in half-joking tones, they were asking why they didn’t get anything. John just said that it’s not his money anymore and it’s none of his business what I do with it.
Since then I’ve been getting nonstop texts from my cousins and their parents asking me to share, or asking to borrow some money for now since I have cash.
They’ve brought up that I don’t need the money as much as them, that they were her grandchildren too, that I wasn’t in the will so it should just be redistributed between the kids, etc.
I really feel like a jerk, especially because of my pregnant cousin.
Her state has terrible maternity leave and childcare laws and they really can’t afford to become single-income. But also that money can mean a down payment for me, it can mean starting a retirement fund. I think they only see the bit of it I’m using to have a nice gap year and think I’m a brat using it to party.
It really feels like everyone in my life is pointing out good reasons as to why I’m the jerk but I really need an objective perspective on all this mess.”
5. AITJ For Refusing To Get Rid Of My Mug Collection?
“My (26) cousin, V (24), moved in with me in July. We share a SMALL 2-bedroom apartment, it’s cramped. I moved in back in April on my own and originally used the second bedroom for storage and a work-from-home office.
V wanted to move to this city and asked if she could join me and take my second bedroom. I sent her tons of pictures, offered to let her come stay for a weekend to get a feel for the place (since she was coming from out of state, she declined), and was super clear that it was a small apartment and I had a lot of stuff, since I had chosen an apartment based on my space needs alone.
She had promised me this was fine, she was coming from living with her grandparents and didn’t have much. I got rid of a TON of stuff and did my best to accommodate her, this has never been an issue before, excluding some side comments about me keeping the big bedroom (which I pay an extra $150 a month for) We both agreed early on to move somewhere bigger as soon as the lease is up.
At this point, that’s in just 2 months.
Cut to today, she stopped me in the kitchen and suggested that I throw away a bunch of my mugs. In her defense, they do take up a full shelf in one cabinet, and our apartment has super limited cabinet space.
In my defense, they were here first and she knew before she came, and we are moving to a bigger place super soon anyway.
She currently also has like 3-4 of her own in there (she still almost exclusively uses mine, which has NEVER been an issue).
I agreed to get rid of 4-6 that I don’t really care for, plus some other old cups/glasses that we don’t use. She got mad and asked why not more, and I explained that most of them were gifts or I just really liked them and wasn’t willing to part with them.
I did agree to store some too when we move, if space is still an issue. I have already agreed to donate/get rid of almost all of my dishes and stuff like that so we can replace them with ones she likes better when we move too.
I am usually a pushover, but I refused to budge on this. She argued that I wasn’t willing to compromise and that it wasn’t fair that she didn’t have room to add her own mugs. I told her I think I am compromising quite a bit, but that demanding I get rid of my belongings was rude enough, but expecting to be able to set the parameters on what/how much was really unreasonable.
She is now not speaking to me.”
4. AITJ For Refusing To Get Into A Weight Loss Program With My Friend?
“I have a friend M (27 f) who got pretty fat in 2020 and developed some pretty intense mental health problems as a result (Depression, Anxiety, Body Dysmorphia, and Binge Eating) she’s on a waitlist to speak with a professional but is on some antidepressants in the meantime.
M is incredibly sensitive about her weight and seems to flip like a switch about whether she wants to lose the weight or that no one should even notice it. It kinda gives you whiplash but I figured that’s probably because her head is in a mess right now.
M asked me and A (22 f) to join Slimming World with her because she’s convinced she’s going to cry at every weigh-in and needs friends with her so we can all get weighed in together. I’m skinny, fit, and healthy but haven’t always had a good relationship with food due to toxic ballet culture as a kid and A is currently ten weeks pregnant, not a doctor but that hardly sounds safe for a pregnant person to be.
A apologised, declined on the grounds of her pregnancy but promised to reconsider after the baby is born and a few months old if that’s what S really wanted. I flat-out told her no and that I didn’t need to lose weight and didn’t think it was good for me to be in a program that forces me to restrict my eating.
S burst into tears and accused me saying she needed to lose weight. I said it was her choice to sign up but that’s kinda the point. Slimming World wants you to lose weight and doesn’t care how. I also told S that if she knows she’s going to cry every meeting it sounds like she probably shouldn’t sign up and go back to the leisure center instead.
M cried even harder and accused me of wanting her to stay fat and ruin her life. A had to jump in and try to calm her down but it didn’t get resolved.
Last night during a DnD game, we were all sitting around, M was being normal and I thought it was over.
M looked at me snacking on some chocolate and told me this was why I should join Slimming World with her. Everyone looked at us and I told her I wouldn’t be going and to ask a different friend. M asked around the table but no one really wanted to go, out of no time or being happy with their weight.
M let the building in tears.
M has sent me numerous messages during the day to join Slimming World. I replied that the whole thing was stupid and that she needed to shut up because she was getting on my nerves. M kept pestering me so I just blocked her.
A mutual friend told me M is blaming me for her eating several tubs of ice cream.
I think I’ve lost a friend over this. I don’t know what to do but she’s in a bad place now. Should I have just done this dumb Slimming World thing?
I’m already skinny it’s not like anyone would seriously expect me to lose weight right?”
3. AITJ For Kicking My Cousin Out Of My Apartment?
“My (27 F) cousin (34 M) has been staying with me in my apartment for about three months now since he’s been struggling financially. I was under the impression that it would be pretty short-term.
I struggle with a few mental illnesses and one of them is schizophrenia.
I’m perfectly capable of taking care of myself as well as have a job and go to school (the stereotypes are ridiculous). But I do have voices in my head and when I’m at home I don’t restrain myself from mumbling under my breath in response to them, if that makes sense.
In his time staying with me, my cousin has made countless remarks about how ‘weird’ and ‘abnormal’ it is for me to do this and that I need to get help. I ignore it despite how irritating it is.
He’s also made comments about my eating disorder (I am in therapy for and improving on) which I rather not say because they really hurt me.
But my tipping point was yesterday. I came home from work and the place was a complete mess. Beer bottles everywhere, food sitting directly on furniture and not plates, stains on the carpet (I don’t even know what from), blankets everywhere, etc.
I asked him what happened as calmly as I could and he rolled his eyes and mockingly said he’s had a ‘bad mental day’.
That was my last straw and I told him he’s got 3 days to find a new place or he’s out. I didn’t give him a chance to reply and went to my room.
I called my sister and told her what happened and she said that he was a jerk for trashing the apartment but I should’ve just made him clean it up instead of forcing him to find a place in such a short time frame or kicking him out.
But I don’t think I’m really wrong since he’s already overstayed his welcome. So do you guys think I’m the jerk?”
2. AITJ For Giving My Sister A Handmade Bracelet On Her Birthday?
“I (M 14) have a sister who is 20 months younger than me and we have had a pretty rocky relationship. A lot of times it would just be little stuff like at 10:00 coming into my room while I was asleep, turning the lights on which would wake me, and then taking my cat (M 0.5) who was sleeping with me to her room where she would lock him in there for the rest of the night (His constant yowling to get out would keep me up) and whenever I locked the door she would yell at me in the middle of the night that we ‘weren’t allowed to lock doors’.
However, when I addressed my parents about it they just brushed it off saying it was ‘what siblings do’ (They are both single children so I don’t know how they know what siblings do).
I was kind of okay with it until things started to escalate with situations where she was flat out doing crimes like taking my laptop which I need for school before I wake up, hiding it in her room, and going through it deleting stuff on my computer like documents, save files to games that I had 10+ hours in, even whole applications but when I put a password on it she flipped out and yelled at me to tell her what the password is.
I asked why she was on my computer she started yelling even more. I got in trouble and had to get rid of the computer (I started to just leave it in my locker at school with a power brick that I would charge at home that way it wouldn’t die).
Well about a week ago my sister had a birthday get-together with our family (cousins, grandparents, etc) and I had gotten her a bracelet I had made out of paracord with a compass, whistle, firestarter, etc. But when she got it she got mad and said that ‘It wasn’t good enough’.
I pointed out that she hadn’t gotten me anything for my birthday last year and she acted all surprised and said that she helped pitch into the gift my parents bought me which was a Nintendo Switch that was plugged into the TV in my sister’s bedroom and because (A) My parents said again that siblings should share and (B) I am not allowed to enter my sister’s bedroom it is solely hers.
However, when I told her this she got even more defensive and started crying and saying that it wasn’t her fault and ran up to her bedroom. My parents got mad at me along with my grandparents but my oldest cousin (M 19) and my second oldest cousin (M 16) were on my side (the other cousins were too young to know what was going on) but I still feel kind of bad for embarrassing my sister and parents on her day.”
1. AITJ For Being Upset At My Dad For Getting Back With His Awful Ex?
“My (17 x) dad (43 m) has been with his awful partner (48 f) on and off for about a decade. I’ll call her Georgia. She also has a horribly entitled son (13 m) who I will call Leroy. My dad has broken up with Georgia a few times, but always gets back together.
A few months ago, I had a therapy session with my dad, my older sister (19 f), and Georgia. Leroy wasn’t there, but he was still relevant to the conversation. My dad required that my older sister and I each type a document detailing the mistreatment we’ve endured from Georgia and Leroy over the years.
I had repressed a lot of memories, so I had to purposefully trigger myself to regain those memories so I could type them up. Even with my best efforts, I couldn’t remember everything, but I don’t think I would have been able to handle remembering much more anyway.
It was extremely mentally and emotionally draining. I was beyond distressed.
The time came for us to have the therapy session, and at one point I had to leave the room to cry, which they are aware of. I was shaking excessively throughout the therapy session and felt somewhat nauseous.
I was noticeably fidgety. My sister and I made it clear that at this point our dad was making a choice: Georgia or us.
At the end of the therapy session, my dad decided we were more important than Georgia. Georgia begged my dad to stay so he could financially support her (not surprising) but he refused. My sister and I were finally hopeful.
I thought it was finally over. The therapist told my dad that we were counting on him and that he couldn’t keep breaking up with her only to return to her afterward. It’s not fair to us.
I guess I shouldn’t have gotten my hopes up, because I recently discovered that he’s with her again.
I wish I could say I’m surprised, but I’m really not. I feel hurt and betrayed. My dad knows of some of the things that Georgia and Leroy have done to me, yet still chose them. I did not relive years of trauma and panic and crying just so he could say ‘She’s changed’ for the millionth time.
My dad has been coming to my mom’s house on the weekends to visit my sister and me for the past few months. I just can’t face him. I don’t have the words to describe how upset I am. I want a good relationship with my dad, but I just can’t do it.
I’m just so done with him.
My mom says that she understands that I feel betrayed by him, but I shouldn’t just ignore him. He’s my dad, and as long as Georgia isn’t present, I should be willing to spend time with him. Even my paternal grandparents, who were never supportive of his relationship with Georgia, think they should be given another chance because they’re going to church now (I’m not religious, so this doesn’t matter to me).
My sister also feels betrayed by him, but even she thinks it’s excessive and immature to ignore Dad over this.
WIBTJ?”
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