People Impart Their Worst Moments In These 'Am I The Jerk?' Stories

"For context, I (26f) and my mother (53f) were at odds with each other, and I was forced to move away right in the middle of 2020.

It's been nearly 4 years since I moved into the new place, and my mother called me wishing that I could move again due to issues I'm having with my landlord (a different post will be made about him at a later date).

My grandmother, who is nearly 70 years old, lives about 6 states away from me and would require uprooting everything I've worked for over the last four years for me to effectively become her emotional support human.

From the sounds of what my mother wishes for me, I would essentially be getting free housing, guaranteed time with family, and a safety net in case something horrific happens. All that I need to do is assist my grandmother with occasional things, IE taking her to a hospital when needed, and being her chauffeur when needed as well as helping to haul things for her business.

The highly unfortunate thing is that I highly despise my grandmother. She has always commented on my weight, and my appearance, and has the same argumentative habit that my mother had when I moved away in 2020.

I also don't wish to contact my grandmother again.

I dread being around her because I know that she will comment on my appearance, that she'll talk over me, and that she'll disregard everything that I have to say as she did originally when I was a young child. She's the reason why I have image issues and confidence issues that I'm still dealing with to this day in my young adulthood.

However, my mother thinks that it's horrible that I don't want to be around my grandmother for her last years. If my grandmother is anything like my great-grandmother, she's going to live for another decade, and I don't feel like spending a good chunk of my life with her.

My mother also claims that she has been trying to change as a person and that I should give her a chance. A part of me wishes that were the case, but I also don't want to make the effort to see her again and it turns out that she has not bettered herself as a person.

I also want to reiterate that I don't want to uproot everything again so soon. I moved across the country to get away from my mother, and I don't want to move again for my grandmother, especially since it's just been four years, and I'm coming close to keeping a job for a year out here as well.

I have too many nice things going for me, and I don't want to be guilt-tripped into living with my grandmother for the rest of her life while I'm forced to live in the Southern United States."

Another User Comments:

"NTJ, even if your grandma was the nicest lady on the planet, your mom would still have **no right** to guilt-trip you into uprooting your life and moving to an entirely new state." AnakinSkywalkerisfav

Another User Comments:

"NTJ Your grandmother has shown you who she is. It's ok to believe her. There's no need to feel any guilt for that. It's also not ok for your mother to ask you to uproot the life you've built for yourself. If she's so concerned let her go look after grandmother." Apart-Ad-6518

Another User Comments:

"NTJ the fact that you even ask says that you are not in a good headspace to be able to withstand the garbage you anticipate will come your way. Don't sell your soul to them so cheaply. Please. Stay where you are and look after yourself and know that it's the best choice for you and that's the choice you should make." corgihuntress