People Expect Us To Respond To Their "Am I The Jerk?" Stories

Each of us acts for a different set of reasons. Every choice we make is impacted by a certain emotion. It could be motivated by the way people have treated us in the past or by the feelings they have sparked inside of us. This explains why a lot of us act rashly. Some people could view these actions as "jerkish," so to speak. Here are a few stories from people who are trying to determine their level of jerkiness. As you continue reading, let us know who you think is the real jerk. AITJ = Am I the jerk? NTJ = Not the jerk WIBTJ = Would I be the jerk? YTJ = You're the jerk

35. AITJ For Saying My Significant Other Always Finds A Way To Ruin Our Dates?

“I (F21) and my significant other (M23) of five years went to my favorite restaurant a few weeks ago. The meal was great and we both really enjoyed ourselves. It was perfect, a completely perfect dinner. I paid the $60 check and we went out to the parking lot to the car.

I live in a huge college town so that Saturday night was a senior ball so the town was busy.

We get back to the car and the cars surrounding it were parked exactly the same as they were when we went in.

There were cars to each side of his car along with a truck parallel parked behind him at least two car lengths away. In front of him was the wall of the restaurant and behind him was the roadway in the parking lot then the parallel parked truck at a distance to clarify.

He starts to back out of the space and after a few tries he says he can’t do it. I say instantly I can spot him so he can get out. He says no and that it won’t help him because the truck behind him wasn’t there when he pulled into the spot and he was scared of hitting it.

(It was there when he pulled into the spot.) He also added he doesn’t want others to see me spotting him like he can’t handle his vehicle. I say okay, I’ll go into the restaurant and find the owner of one of the cars and ask if there was any way they would move so he could get out, didn’t want to but it was the only choice.

He says no and kinda flips out (throwing his hat and sunglasses into the dash in frustration and also flooring it as if he’s going to hit the building then slamming on the break before he does so.) He calls his parents screaming about not being able to get out of the spot and even locked my door when I tried to get out of the vehicle to go get someone else to help/spot him.

Also when he is on the phone the owner of one of the neighboring cars comes outside. I try to tell him that we should talk to her but he ignored me and kept complaining to his parents that there was no way we were getting out of the spot.

The owner of the neighboring car gets in another car and leaves while my SO gets off the phone and says: ‘Guess we’re stuck.’

The screaming and me begging him to just let me spot him continues for 20 minutes and he makes a few jabs that I don’t have a license so I wouldn’t understand how he feels.

At that point, I was really upset and in tears. I had just taken him out to dinner and spent a pretty good amount for him to act like a jerk? Finally, he lets me out of the car to spot him and within 2 minutes we are out of the spot.

Later that night I told him that he ruined the night and the dinner I paid for for absolutely no reason. I also added that he always has to find a way to destroy any date or thing, in general, I want to do just because it’s not something he picks. He said that what happened was my fault because I should have not spoken to him because it made him more frustrated when he was trying to find a ‘solution to the problem.’ AITJ here?”

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CG1 6 months ago
Dump this man child jerk baby ,he Absolutely knows he ruining things on purpose
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34. AITJ For Not Wanting To Take A Step Back So My Nephew's Dad Can Step In?

“My (M25) sister (F20) had a baby with a classmate of hers five years ago, who then abandoned her after discovering this and hasn’t been in contact with her or the baby ever since (his family gives us money monthly but that’s it).

The issue is that my sister is an irresponsible parent too. She decided to have Thomas (5M) because giving him up for adoption was ‘too cruel’, yet she barely took care of him after giving birth to him. She usually gave him milk and then my mom and I took care of everything else since she was ‘too tired’ for it.

Once he stopped breastfeeding she practically did nothing for him regularly.

As some kind of tragic irony, Thomas was born a few months after my then-partner suffered a miscarriage, so I admit my anger towards my sister was fueled by the fact that I couldn’t have my son while she was neglecting hers.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not mad that I had to take care of Thomas. I prepared myself so much for my son that I was happy I could use the knowledge in some way.

Years passed and everything was great, in my opinion, I love Thomas a lot and I know he loves me too.

I spend most time with him cause my mom is too tired for it and my sister doesn’t want to.

Yesterday, my sister and my mom approached me after Thomas went to bed and told me sister has been in contact with her ex (Thomas’ biological father) and she’s hoping they come back together, so she wants me to stop hanging out with Thomas or otherwise, it’ll be more difficult IF the dude wants to spend time with Thomas in the future.

I asked her if she was joking and that this guy wasn’t a good father figure for Thomas (I know him, the dude is super rude and hangs out with jerks). She got mad at me badmouthing him and told me she’s the mother so she makes the decisions and that I was just trying to keep Thomas to myself cause I couldn’t have a son of my own.

This and the fact my mom said nothing infuriated me and I told them to shut up and then went to a friend’s apartment to spend the night.

I couldn’t sleep last night cause I’m too stressed. AITJ here or my sister is? I think she’s being selfish and isn’t looking at what’s best for Thomas, but I also feel like if I don’t apologize and go along with what she says then she’s going to make my time with Thomas non-existent.

It’s not fair, I was the one who raised Thomas since he was a baby and care for him, my sister and that other dude never did anything for him. It’s like I’m losing my son for the second time.”

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rbleah 6 months ago
Sue for custody then. See where you get with the courts
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33. AITJ For Buying Secondhand Items?

“My husband hates when I buy used clothing, sporting equipment, furniture, etc. Especially if I buy it from my neighborhood. My neighbors are all richer than us, we bought our house after my husband got an inheritance from his grandmother and we wanted to get the best school possible for our children so we live in a great area that has an elementary, middle, and high school in close proximity.

The fact we don’t have to drive them to school so we only have one car since I work from home makes up for the increased value of the house. It does mean our neighbors are far richer and have amazing stuff for a great price at every garage sale.

I really don’t shop much during the rest of the year and wait until garage sale season to buy non-food/toiletries products.

I got a $3-4k Tempur-Pedic mattress for only $200 and a beautiful bed frame for $100 that must have cost $2-3k.

They also buy smaller than they can wear clothing in January as part of their new year resolution and sell it in the fall. I love designer clothes but I can’t afford them so when they sell Gucci, Marc Jacobs, etc.

I can buy them at Zara prices. I’ve even sold them on Depop to make extra income. I bought a bike for our son that’s probably $1-2k for $100 and power tools for $50 that cost hundreds.

All the stuff is amazing and works well but my husband hates it because he thinks the neighbors look down on us for using their used stuff.

I’ve never heard anyone make comments and even if they do I don’t really care, we are getting a good deal and we wouldn’t be able to afford the high-quality stuff otherwise. I came back from buying a washer and dryer because ours were dying and my husband yelled at me I was embarrassing him and our children were going to be bullied for wearing used clothes.

Our children have never mentioned being bullied and are at the top of their class. He told me the other families are laughing behind our back and I asked him who and what did they say. He said he could see it in their eyes that they thought less of us and I told him he could stop hanging out with them if it bothered him. He stormed out and hasn’t been back in hours.”

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Bruinsgirl143 6 months ago
Ntj he can get all the way over his pretentious self ... girl keep on keeping on lie to him and make that money and get those deals
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32. AITJ For Not Telling My Coworker How I Keep My Hair So Perfect?

“I (27F) work in an office with a lot of other people. On our floor, there are about 20 of us. I’m the newest person on our floor, I was only hired 3 months ago.

I always go to work with my hair either in a bun, a ponytail, or a claw clip, or I have it held up in a messy bun with a pen.

Those are my 4 looks. I’m disabled and struggle to do my own hair, so if it’s in a claw clip or held up with a pen, I did that myself. But if it’s tied with a hair tie, my husband did it for me because I can’t tie my own hair up.

The ponytails and buns are always very neat because he does it and can help me tidy it up if it needs it.

I’ve always been really ashamed of the fact that I can’t do my own hair. I can brush it and put a claw clip in, and I can also use a pen to keep it up in a messy bun, but that’s about all I can do myself.

I’ve always felt embarrassed that I can’t do my own hair properly like other women. It’s frustrating and embarrassing.

But lately, a coworker, Beth (F46), has been asking me how I manage to get my hair so ‘perfect’ whenever it’s in a bun or ponytail, and all I say is ‘Oh, it’s just a bun’ or whatever.

In reality, my partner spends around 5-10 mins most mornings helping me get it looking good enough. I don’t know what to say, and she’s getting annoyed that I haven’t told her my ‘secret’. My husband doesn’t want credit and I’m ashamed to admit I can’t even do my own hair.

He knows it’s a sore spot for me.

Beth never comments when it’s in a clip or held up by a pen, only when it’s in a tidy bun/ponytail. She’s even made some comments about how I must be tired because my hair is messy because it’s in a claw clip/pen.

I know it’s not her fault, but I feel really embarrassed that my clip/pen hair isn’t good enough for her to comment on.

AITJ for keeping my hair a ‘secret’ from my coworker? Would I be a jerk if I didn’t tell her the truth?”

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Bruinsgirl143 6 months ago
Ntj tell her to drop it, it's none of her business and it's a HIPPA violation to ask someone about their disabilities and this regards yours. If she persists go to HR and tell them you're done being harassed about something so petty regarding a disability that you're are not required to disclose
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31. AITJ For Losing My Patience At My Sister After She Tried To Set Up Our Dad On A Blind Date?

“I (23M) have 2 younger siblings, ‘Anna’ (21F) and ‘Chloe’ (19F). We’ve always been close. Our parents split up when I was 9 and our mom became pretty much a deadbeat (I’ve seen her maybe 5 times in the last 10 years), so my dad (50M) raised us, and it’s pretty much always been us and him.

Even after he started going out with ‘Fiona’ (44F) when I was 15, our dynamic stayed mostly the same and there were pretty much no issues aside from some adjusting.

Chloe recently moved out after living at home for her first year at college, and a few months later, my dad announced that he and Fiona were engaged and going to get married.

In my opinion, everyone expected this would happen since they were together for so long, but Anna was very upset. She’s been complaining to everyone about it for weeks, but mostly me. She says it’s like he was just waiting for us all to grow up and get out of the house so that he could move in with his new woman and be a family with her instead.

She also doesn’t like that there’s an almost 7-year age gap between them, because he and our mom were high school sweethearts, and our mom was actually a few months older, so she feels like our dad is replacing her with a younger model.

Sidenote she’s never liked Fiona because she was still hoping my parents would get back together when he and Fiona started going out (Mom was less of a deadbeat then).

Anna also thinks there isn’t much passion between them, because every time she was over at our place, they barely touched and just treated each other like polite acquaintances since we were kids.

She also doesn’t see why he has to move her in before they’re even married because Fiona is financially well-off and doesn’t need stability. She wants to be able to spend this summer with just our dad and us, without anyone else moving in yet.

She told me the other day that she’s planning on trying to set him up with one of her friends’ single mom instead, who she feels is much more age-appropriate and likable than Fiona and whom she thinks he’d have more chemistry with.

She’s planning on telling him this weekend and wants me to back her up. I just lost my patience and told her to leave me out of this and that she was ruining his life by trying to set him up on some blind date as if he were a child.

She started crying and told me all she wants is what’s best for him because Fiona’s the wrong woman and he’s making a mistake, but I said I don’t see how this would help when he’s already engaged and that she’s being stupid.

She called me a jerk for being so harsh and hasn’t talked to me since then.

I admit part of me is also bummed that we won’t have as much of my dad’s time anymore and that things are about to change dramatically, so I wonder if I should have been more validating or supportive of Anna, but I just don’t think our dad did anything wrong or that talking him out of this will do any good.

AITJ?

ETA: The main reason I’m second-guessing myself is because I too would love another summer with just our dad, but I have my own place now so it’s not like I have nowhere to go if things get unbearable with Fiona here (I don’t think they will, she’s always let us kids do our own thing), so it’s not that big a deal to me.

I also do see where Anna’s coming from about him and Fiona not being very romantic in front of us (our parents were much more touchy-feely).

I don’t know if this means she’s the wrong woman or not but tbh since my dad doesn’t seem to care, I don’t either.

I don’t see her as another parent or anything but we’ve personally never had a problem with each other, and I don’t think Chloe does either. I do agree my dad deserves to do whatever he wants to be happy at this point.”

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oldmama 6 months ago
That would be horrible to the friend's single mother to set her up with an already engaged man!! WTH!!! Your dad has a partner. They are happy. Your sister needs to grow up and mind her own business!!!
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30. AITJ For Refusing To Give Back An Heirloom To My Late Partner's Family?

“I (30m) was going out with a girl (28) for about 4 years. She was the love of my life and when I finally paid off my student debt, in about 5-6 months, I was going to ask for her hand in marriage.

Then tragedy struck, she was in a multiple-car accident on a highway and suffered extensive injuries. She immediately went into emergency surgery, and doctors only gave her a 10% chance of recovery when she woke up. She gets out of surgery and is unconscious for several days, when she finally wakes up, she tells me to go into her dresser in our apartment and get the wooden box and bring it to her.

When I return shortly after with the box, which is full of keepsakes, she opens it and gives me her great grandfather’s gold necklace. She says that this is my early birthday present, as my birthday was in 2 weeks since she won’t make it till then.

I tell her to keep being positive and hug and kiss her. She hung on for a few more painful days before she passed in her sleep.

When the funeral and wake happened I wore the chain. Her mother noticed and kind of hinted that she wanted her grandfather’s chain back.

I kind of shrugged it off as this was a very emotional time for all of us. But it didn’t stop there.

Several days after the funeral, her dad, who I absolutely loved to this point, asked if he could have the chain since it belongs to his daughter.

I explained that this is what she gave me before she died as a birthday present, he seemed to understand and he would explain it to his wife. So, I thought that would be the end of it.

A couple hours later I get a message from my partner’s uncle basically threatening me for the necklace and I said that he knows where to find me so come talk face to face.

He of course never showed.

I called my partner’s mom and asked if she told her brother to do that and she said that she feels disrespected by me keeping it from her since it was her grandfather’s. I told her exactly what I told her husband and she said that it doesn’t matter, it belonged to her family.

I ended the conversation refusing to give it back, and basically severing a relationship with her mother’s side of the family. I’m a bit conflicted about my decision since it has been in their family for over 100 years, but she did gift it to me.

So, AITJ?”

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deco 6 months ago
NTJ. Her daughter’s dying wish was to give YOU this necklace. What kind of mom ignores her child’s last wishes? Mom and her side of the family are definitely jerks!
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29. AITJ For Not Letting My Parents Meet My Baby Because They Made My Pregnancy Miserable?

“I (23F) and my husband (24M) have recently had our first child. We got married last year, after we had both graduated college.

My parents were very judgmental and told me I was making a mistake since I was so young and I was losing the opportunity to go out with many people and find who was best.

This was insulting to me but also to my husband. My husband was my first relationship as well since we started going out at 16 after we met at the corner store we both worked at. I know some people judge people who get married to their first love but I couldn’t imagine being with anyone else.

I made the choice to marry him since I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him and I knew he would be an amazing dad and partner. It was a rational decision on my part that my parents couldn’t seem to understand.

I had to beg my dad to walk me down the aisle and they told me after the ceremony I made a mistake and that I should have waited longer to be married.

Despite all of this, I still loved them since they are my parents and ultimately these are my choices even if they disagree.

When I found out I was pregnant, it came as a surprise as my husband and I weren’t necessarily trying for a baby but we were thrilled because we’ve always wanted to be parents.

We did purchase our first house and it has two extra bedrooms and plenty of space for a child to grow up.

I am currently in medical school and my husband is starting out in his career, but I work nights as a waitress so we’re making a good amount of money to support ourselves and a child. To sum it up, we are prepared for a child and I may struggle in school but my husband and his parents are pushing for me to stay in school and offered to watch the baby as much as I needed.

We also got very lucky since the baby was born at the beginning of summer. Despite the fact that we are married adults with jobs, have plans for the future, and a house, my parents refuse to see past it and still see us as kids.

After I told them I was pregnant they treated me as if I was still 16 – told me they were disappointed, asked who was going to raise the baby, that I was irresponsible, etc. They cut contact for three months and then only checked in rarely, never discussing my baby.

The pregnancy was hard for me because of school and my job and also because it was my first pregnancy but my parents’ attitudes were what made it so miserable.

After my baby girl was born, my sister came by to help me and see the baby and she posted a cute video on her social media of her and my daughter.

My parents texted me that they wanted to meet the baby and angry I didn’t tell them when my baby was born. I told them they couldn’t switch up now and the only way they would be able to see her is a full apology to me and my husband and a stop to their behavior. They refuse and say they’ve done nothing wrong, only looking out for me. My other family members say I’m being stubborn and they’re my parents I should just let them see their granddaughter, but I don’t think so, AITJ?”

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paot 6 months ago
NTJ! Your life, your child, your rules. Their comments and behavior was uncalled for, it shows they didn’t trust and respect your adult decisions. Shame on them!
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28. AITJ For Being Mad At My In-Laws For Not Calling Me By My Real Name?

“I (26f) have been married to James (27m) for two years now. I have a more unusual name; Oceana and I love it. I vastly prefer that to a normal name honestly. But for a while, my in-laws have been calling me Ana and have been introducing me/referring to me as Ana to other people, and trying to discourage me from introducing myself by my full name.

My husband has told them I don’t go by Ana so they should stop calling me that. They said it’s a sign of endearment when someone gives you a nickname. He told them I go by my full name.

I was over at a family dinner recently, and my husband’s nephew mentioned how he told one of his friends about me, and his mom, my husband’s sister, corrected him and told his friend my name was Ana and not Oceana.

I waited for the kids to be out of earshot and I told them I was so tired of them disrespecting me, that my name is the one I have always gone by and they are wrong for not using it because of their tastes.

I told them they wouldn’t like it if I randomly started chopping up their names for a normal name against their wishes and they have no right to do it to me. MIL argued that their names are all normal and they’re real names, unlike mine.

She told me it’s embarrassing to talk about a person, let alone a grown woman, with some weird hippy name that nobody should have.

My husband backed me up and we left but his whole family (minus the kids) are saying I was rude to them and should be more understanding of the fact my name is abnormal and ‘plain bad’.

My husband doesn’t agree with them but I do acknowledge Ana can be taken from my name and there are worse things I could be called. I wonder if I was overly sensitive and feeling insulted by their refusal to call me by my name anymore (they used to).

AITJ?”

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Claudetteisacar 6 months ago
jerk no! Start making up names for them, see how they like it
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27. AITJ For Only Paying For My And My Grandfather's Meal?

“I (23M) recently graduated college and got a job. My family (everyone from my mom’s side) invited me out to eat at a restaurant. It was a pretty expensive place, but I agreed. We all talked and were having a pretty good time until we got the bill.

I asked for separate bills so I could pay for mine and our grandfather’s (He is an elderly man so it is fair that I pay for his meal). The family all looked at me like I was a thief. I asked what was up and my aunt replies ‘Oh you could do us the courtesy of paying for our meals’.

The bill was somewhere in the thousands. I am the only member of my mom’s side of the family who went and graduated from college. So the family was using the excuse ‘We threw you a surprise party so the least you could do is pay’.

Grandfather confused told them no. I am fine with paying for a bill that’s in my budget range. I would have paid for everyone otherwise, but the bill was in the thousands. The family did not even look through the prices before ordering.

Grandfather tried explaining that it was their problem. We argued back and forth.

They kept suggesting I pay for their meals and they would pay me back. I told them about all the money they owe me. After about 2 minutes the argument went nowhere.

I was called selfish because they are family and I was turning against them.

I called the waiter, paid for my and my grandfather’s meal, and left with him. But I left them $200 to help cover. Instead of using it towards the bill aunt pocketed it and spent it on booze after leaving. Most of them brought their own money so they could pay. I was getting angry calls and visits saying I should have just been a man and paid.

AITJ?”

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CG1 6 months ago
Oh jerk no and you can tell everyone Your Aunt stole the 200 $ !! Cut them All Off and go no contact .they have Hella nerve.. I would of given the 200 to the waiter to apply to the bill
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26. AITJ For Telling My Brother He Needs To Get A Loan If He Wants To Buy My Car?

“I (27F) have one brother Fred (29m), he has done things in his life to put himself in the position he is in life but he has also benefited from it. Fred works full-time at a trade job making decent money while his wife (31f) does not work at all.

I am also married and just had a baby a few months ago, my husband (28m) and I decided I could be a stay-at-home mom but I found a job I can work from home a few hours a day to make my own income and still help out financially.

My husband’s job gives him a work car that he brings home. We had a conversation and decided it doesn’t make sense to have two car payments and own two cars when one barely gets used and is too small for us and the baby.

So we agreed to sell. Right now it’s a great time to sell it as I can sell it for more than I paid for a brand-new one.

Fred and his wife only have one car between them and it broke down last week.

My mother has been going overboard driving him to work picking him up… paying for Ubers and paying to try and fix his car. I keep telling her Fred can catch public transport to and from work and I’m being ignored.

My mom just told him I’m selling my car and to ask me for it.

The problem with that is Fred expected me to roll over and let him give me money for the monthly payment rather than getting the car loan in his name.

I told him he needs to get a loan if he wants to buy my car at market price. My mom is now annoyed with me and telling me I’m a jerk.

Fred has never ever paid me back for anything over the years.

He has the expectation that his family needs to do everything for him. Once my husband and I moved out and bought our home no one has given us a cent to help us out. I have my own family I need to make the best financial decision for.

So I am the jerk for not catering to my brother?”

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CG1 6 months ago
No, your Brother has proved unreliable in the Past ,do not make a stupid decision and just let him pay the Monthly Loan ,you know you will get Screwed Over .tell your Mothet to Butt Out
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25. AITJ For Punishing My Son For Taking And Crashing His Sister's Bike?

“I am a single dad with two kids, Anna (16F), and Jason (19M). I’ve been riding dirtbikes since I was a kid and wanted my kids to ride, so I offered to teach them both when they were young. Both were very happy about it and said yes.

Anna was much easier to teach than Jason. It just clicked for her, I never needed to work with her. She’d just get on the bike and go. Jason on the other hand had a very hard time learning to ride, he crashed pretty much every time he got on the bike.

Now years later they are both riding the same bike, a CRF 150. Both are older bikes, but reliable.

Anna has always enjoyed it more than Jason, I always invited him to go with us and he’d just shrug and either blow me off completely or come and just stay in the truck and ride for maybe 20 mins.

I understood and never tried to push him into riding.

This summer, I felt Anna was ready for a bigger bike. The next step was a CRF 250, which is quite a pricey bike. I want to get Jason one, but I feel he isn’t ready for it and isn’t interested enough for me to spend 10k for a bike he’ll barely ride.

So, while Jason was with his friends, I took Anna to the dealer and got her a brand-new CRF 250.

Jason came home, saw her new bike, and immediately got mad asking why I didn’t get him one. I explained that it was because they are very expensive bikes and he hardly even rides his, so I didn’t want to spend another 10k.

He was still angry and when Anna came outside he demanded she let him ride it.

Anna looked at me to ask if it was okay and I told her it was HER bike and it was up to her. I didn’t like how Jason was talking to her and neither did she, so she said no.

He got angry and shouted at us both before storming off into his room.

However, later that week while I was at work and Anna was at a friend’s Jason took her bike. And crashed it. Hard. I don’t know what he did but he twisted her handlebars, scuffed up her plastics, broke her clutch, and screwed up her suspensions pretty badly.

Luckily he was okay, but I was furious and Anna was heartbroken. She hadn’t even gotten to take it out yet.

I yelled at him and told him off, and then took his car. He argued back that it was his car and I couldn’t take it.

It’s not his car technically, it’s my old car that I’ve just been letting him use. He yelled and screamed at me, and I told him I was half tempted to make him pay to fix his sister’s bike but I don’t want to take all of his savings.

He’s been yelling at me that I’m a jerk for three days now and saying it’s my fault he can’t get to work, get to school, or see his friends. His insults are beginning to get to me. Was I really in the wrong here?”

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rbleah 6 months ago
NOT WRONG and that BOY needs to learn HOW TO BE A THE ADULT HE WILL SOON BE. Tell him he needs to NOT BE A BRAT and you are DONE SPOILING HIM. Tell him he needs to pull up his big boy jerk and realize YOU DON'T OWE HIM ANYTHING. After what he did he DOES NOT DESERVE IT.
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24. AITJ For Not Wanting To Invite My Partner's Friend And His Wife To Our Dinner Party?

“I (24F) have been with my partner Adam (24M) for 3 years. We live together. He has a friend, Ed (early 30s M), who just married his fiancee of a couple of years. Adam and Ed met each other a few months after Adam and I began going out.

They nearly began a company together in 2020 but it didn’t pan out. Adam has planned a few get-togethers between us and Ed/his fiancee. We’ve always had a fine time, no bad blood, but I personally didn’t vibe with them since I felt like they were a lot older, more established, and in a different place in life than me.

Personally, I didn’t feel like I had much in common with them as a couple and didn’t really see myself being friends with them outside of Ed and Adam’s connection with each other.

Last fall Ed let Adam know that their postponed wedding would finally take place in spring 2022.

In February we finally heard that they had set a date for March. Adam gets a wedding evite to his email and forwards it to me. I save the date in our calendars. Ed and Adam are talking sometime at the beginning of March to catch up when it slips out that I’m not invited to the wedding and they only invited Adam.

Apparently, it was an awkward conversation. Adam tells me when I get home from work and I’m sort of surprised… it seems rude? I wasn’t dying to go, so it’s no big deal I will do something else that day.

The wedding rolled around last month, Adam goes by himself and realizes it was a huge event, hundreds of people, no expense spared.

Lots of people have plus ones. Our assumption had been it was because of limited resources or constraints on the budget… but I guess that was not the case. I have honestly never heard of not inviting a friend’s SO when they have been together as long as you have known them, and the couple lives together.

Cut to this weekend – I am planning a modest dinner party at our apartment with friends. Adam and I are both creating the guest list and mostly have the same friends so it’s very easy. Adam asks me about inviting Ed/his wife.

I say I don’t really care to invite them, if I’m picking out 12-18 people they would be nowhere near making the list. If I’m being honest, I’m not even sure they would make the list if it were a 40-person event.

Am I being petty? It feels weird to me to pretend like nothing is off and invite these people to have dinner I’m making. Am I supposed to bring up the wedding I wasn’t invited to? Please advise!”

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Claudetteisacar 6 months ago
Their wedding, their rules, your dinner party so your rules. They have shown you no courtesy or respect so they don't deserve any from you
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23. AITJ For Being Upset That My Parents Seem More Excited About My Cousin's Pregnancy Than Mine?

“I (27F) am an only child. I left the UK for work 5 years ago and in that time my dad’s sister’s daughter has gotten close to my parents. I have no relationship with her.

I FaceTimed my parents yesterday to tell them that I am pregnant (12 weeks) after being given the all-clear by my doctor.

I expected them to have an emotional reaction as they have been loudly expressing the fact they want a grandchild for years and they are in general pretty emotional people.

They did seem pleased but they both started grinning at each other and then turned and told me that my cousin H (21F) is also pregnant! I admit my face dropped because they didn’t even say congratulations before mentioning someone else’s pregnancy!

I tried to be positive and say how nice that was and then both mum and dad started talking about how many weeks she is (6) and how she was having nausea and how excited she is for a baby and how they can’t wait to meet her baby.

They did say it would be nice that our kids would be the same age but it felt tagged on and insincere.

My dad rang back in the evening, ostensibly to thank me for the flowers I had delivered to them, except he started getting angry with me and saying that both my parents had seen my face fall when they shared H’s news and that I was raised better than to be self-centered.

He said that just as I was sharing good news of my baby they wanted to share the good news of H’s baby.

The thing is they didn’t even ask how I’m feeling or how long ago I found out or indeed anything except the due date – to compare it to H’s.

I didn’t think I was a jerk as I’m very close to my parents and I thought this was a big deal but after my dad read me the riot act I’m no longer so sure. AITJ?”

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rbleah 6 months ago
Just ask them WHY they did not even ask you about ANYTHING connected to YOUR PREGNANCY? Tell them it is NOT jealousy it is the fact that it sounds more like they care more about the cousins pregnancy than YOURS. Put them in time out for a bit.
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22. AITJ For Leaving With My Partner's Best Friend's Wife?

“I (25F) have been with my partner (30M) for over a year, he has a best friend who is always around, this guy is from another country and has no friends, he does have a wife and a kid tho.

For the past month, he has spent every weekend with this guy, he invites me but I am so tired of him that I don’t come, the guy is also a jerk.

He constantly makes jokes and talks about my body. It’s very misogynist so I don’t like to be around him. I still do sometimes for my partner who told him SEVERAL times I hate those jokes and I have done it too.

Now the problem is we had a few days off and decided to go to my partner’s parents’ house in the mountains. They are visiting his sister in a different state so we decided to come and some of his family members are coming too.

I know a couple of them but people from all places are coming too and it’s my first time meeting them. His friend is at a place about an hour away from here with his wife and kid. He said he wanted to come over and his wife got mad and said no.

He was planning on leaving them alone at the beach and coming here. I told my partner I didn’t want it either and I wanted for once to be free of his stupid friend and just be us.

Well, he still said he was coming, but his wife got extremely mad and decided to go back to the city, my partner’s family isn’t here yet so I told his wife that I would leave with her when she comes to drop him off since I came in my partner’s car.

My partner got extremely mad that I left with her and couldn’t stay to meet his family. I said that I was tired of him and his friend and that I would reconsider the relationship because if we get married he might bring his friend over to our honeymoon, the delivery room, etc.

He has been blowing my phone with messages calling me immature and selfish and his family was excited to meet me. I am ignoring him but I am questioning if maybe I was wrong, AITJ for leaving, should I go back?”

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rbleah 6 months ago
He is showing you that YOU are second to his friend. Please get out of this TOXIC relationship. He will NEVER change because he does not want to.
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21. AITJ For Telling My In-Laws To Leave My Son's Birthday Party?

“I don’t have the best relationship with my in-laws. My husband is their middle child and neither parent’s favorite, and my MIL and FIL play favorites.

We recently had a get-together for my son’s second birthday. MIL and FIL were both there with their new spouses, as well as BIL and his fiance, and my family.

I scolded MIL for trying to force affection on my son. This is a common issue and my kids don’t see her much, so they don’t want to be hugged, kissed, and posed with for her social media pictures. I explained to her for the umpteenth time why consent is so important.

The men went outside to have a beer and I heard this conversation

Step-FIL: I don’t know why Abby talks to these people. Like Jesus Christ, she can’t hog her own grandkid.

FIL: Those kids are going to be so soft. I would not want to be their future boss in 20 years.

BIL: ok, so it is weird right, cause Olivia (his fiance) and I talk about how weird it is.

SFIL: yes it is weird. Consent for people you don’t like, strangers, acquaintances, 100%, but come on. I feel like half of my interactions with Abby are her just shrieking and being like no (he is talking about roughhousing just to be clear)

BIL: yeah those kids are going to be screwed.

Like when you actually like someone you are supposed to let them go. How are they going to have friends?

FIL: yeah, if OP saw what I did to Lucy (his wife) when she was napping this morning, I would love to hear what she would say.

Those kids aren’t going to have any friends.

At this point, I stepped out and asked them all to leave. BIL snapped at me for spying and said I was creepy. I pointed out they were trash-talking me in my own house. MIL, Lucy, and Olivia were welcome to stay. SFIL told my husband he treats his mom like trash. Now I’m getting some crap because they are ‘entitled to their opinion’ and we are ‘just different people.'”

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LilVicky 6 months ago
NTJ. I would have asked them to leave too
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20. AITJ For Buying My Neighbor's Overweight Son Workout Clothes?

“My neighbor’s kid (14m) is incredibly overweight. He is being bullied, has social anxiety, and the whole works. He is one of those that comes home and sits on his Xbox all day, every day.

He lives with his mom and his older sister who are both also overweight but they all have friends and are doing okay for themselves.

I don’t want to disrespect their lifestyle but they both ignore the son and like to invite drama into their lives.

A month ago I drove past the son crying alone on his walk home from school. I picked him up, took him to get a milkshake and we had a nice long chat about life.

Long story short, I invited him over to the gym I go to. There is a beginner’s boxing class I take him to and I help assist the coach while I’m there. He is struggling his butt off but he hasn’t missed a single lesson yet, I have also taken him in on other days for general practice as well, he has already clearly lost a lot of weight and has made a couple of friends at the gym.

As he is sticking to it so well I have invited him over on the weekend to go get him some better trainers and a few gym shirts/shorts. His family is broke and he has only been wearing his school kit so far.

He was a great kid and I thought this was all fine and dandy.

My mom disagrees. She thinks I have been overstepping boundaries by doing all of this and now buying him clothes is going well beyond this. I am being disrespectful to his mother’s parenting and now buying him nice things they can’t afford is rubbing salt in the wound.

I do see where she is coming from but I also don’t think it should matter. I’m not doing it maliciously, I just want to help him out. His mom/sister have also been off with me lately, glaring at me and not saying anything but just being rude.

AITJ here? (or at least in the wrong?)”

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deco 6 months ago
Might want to speak with his mom, tell her he’s doing good and making friends. NTJ
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19. AITJ For Talking My Partner's Daughter Through Her Period?

“My (21F) partner Jason (29M) has a daughter, Lily (11F). She is a bright, chattery little thing and I love her to absolute death.

My partner and I have been together for a year and a half now and I’ve become a substantial part of their lives.

I don’t live with them yet, but I’m over at their place a frequent amount.

I don’t parent Lily. I talk and play and laugh with her, and I’ll answer questions and give advice if asked, but her mother Anna (28F) is in her life and has shared custody (weekends) and I leave the parenting to her.

Discipline and important decisions obviously go to the mother and father.

If I was asked, then yes, I would 1000% accept the role of a parent to her. And maybe that day will come if/when I marry my partner.

Anna, Jason, and I have all sat down and discussed our respective roles in Lily’s life and I will respect whatever boundaries are placed.

I am more of a cool aunt to Lily and that is okay.

However, a couple of days ago we saw a dilemma. I was staying the night at my partner’s place and Lily came into our room, bawling her eyes out.

She apparently had just gotten her first period and was terrified. I let my partner go to her first and, to our horror, Lily told us nobody had told her this would happen. Not even Anna, her mother. So my partner asked me if I could help her.

I went into the bathroom with her, showed her how to scrub her clothes with cold water to get most of the blood out, and gave her a pad to put on. I explained how it works and left her to put it on.

She came out of the bathroom, still crying, and asked me why this happened.

I sat down with her and explained puberty, periods, and growing up. Mostly at a base level; I would leave the rest of it to her mother. She gave me a hug and we sent her back to bed.

Jason thinks I did the right thing and I did, too.

That is until Anna blew up my phone this morning, claiming that I was trying to take her role and I was overstepping the boundaries that were set. Anna and I have never seen eye-to-eye.

We are civil but try not to talk more than we need to.

So, AITJ for talking her through her period when it might’ve been her mother’s role? My partner thinks I did the right thing, but when I called my sister and asked her this afternoon, she says I should’ve just given her the pad and left it alone.”

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rbleah 6 months ago
Just give her the pad and leave her alone? NO NO JUST NO. She NEEDED TO UNDERSTAND and your SO ASKED YOU TO. He needs to tell the EX to beep back the EFF up. Though eleven is a bit young it is not unheard of to start having periods. Glad my Mom made sure I KNEW what it was so I didn't panic and think I was DYING. GEEZ that girls mother is MESSED UP. YOU ARE NOT THE JERK.
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18. AITJ For Allowing My Son To Go On A Trip With His Friends Despite His Dad's Disapproval?

“So my (40F) son (16M) recently snuck out and got wasted with friends. Obviously, I’m not happy about it, but he got an Uber home and admitted to his dad and me what he did.

Here’s the thing, when you’re raising a teen, a lot of them go through rebellious stages when they’re in high school or in their early twenties.

It’s part of growing up. He’s never gotten wasted enough where he had to take an Uber home before so this is a first-time thing. And honestly, I’m glad that even with peer pressure and fear of getting in trouble he still decided to do the responsible thing.

He had driven his car to a friend’s house where they got wasted and didn’t trust himself or anyone else to get home safely. So he called an Uber.

The next morning before I even noticed his car was missing in the driveway he confessed to everything and apologized for sneaking out.

Now his dad (46M) and I are divorced and when he told his father his dad was understandably upset. And said as punishment we should not allow him on a trip with his friends that they’ve all been saving up for since August.

Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t agree with his actions but he’s been looking forward and putting work into this trip for a really long time. In my opinion, seeing as how this is the first time he’s done this, and he made responsible decisions I don’t think his punishment should be that harsh.

Every child needs discipline but sometimes you have to give your children room to make mistakes without harping on them. Too strict parents just make sneakier kids.

I talked to him about what happened and told him I’m expecting him to call me and not sneak out the next time he wants to hang out with his friends.

And I’m trusting him to do that. And a lot of times with teens you have to give them a reason to trust you before they give you a reason to trust them. Obviously, if this happens again I will deal with the situation more seriously but even though he made immature actions I’m more focused on the mature actions he took later that night regardless of being wasted.

When I told his dad that I was still going to let him go on the trip he blew up at me and said that I was enabling this behavior and he was just going to do it again. And to be honest, my son might, but I feel like as a parent sometimes you have to give your kids second chances. Otherwise they feel closed in and trapped, and that just makes them act out even more. His dad has been speaking to family members and now everyone has their opinions about it. AITJ?”

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rbleah 6 months ago
Sixteen year olds can do stupid things. But as you said even wasted he chose the safe route home/UBER. I think your way will work better with him than dad's way. Make his punishment something else and make sure you tell him WHY there still must be a punishment. And since you are talking WITH HIM he will understand and cooperate with YOU NOT DAD. He will come to resent dad sooner rather than later. He is almost....ALMOST an adult but still a minor and is still growing into who and what he will become. Keep talking to him and he will KNOW HE CAN TRUST YOU.
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17. AITJ For Holding A Grudge Over A Jar Of Pickles?

“So I have these pickles that I love. I have only been able to find them in one store locally which isn’t in a convenient location and I rarely buy anything else from there. They aren’t cheap either, $12 a jar.

I usually buy 4 jars at a time and I keep them on hand for when I run out. I usually like to limit myself to only having them as a treat, a jar usually lasts me 2-4 weeks (though, I have been known to get a little wasted and polish off a whole jar in one sitting).

Everyone in my family knows these are my pickles. To be clear, I don’t monopolize the pickles, if someone wants them, I’m more than happy to share… I’m not THAT big of a jerk.

So yesterday my son (12) had a friend over (also 12).

The friend sees my pickle collection and asked if he could try them, ‘Sure, of course’. He has 1 from 2 different jars and gets to my favorite jar, he tries one and loves it (he has good taste I guess).

He then asks for another and I tell him, ‘No, one’s enough, they are hard to get and they are expensive’. When I say that my son says, ‘Don’t listen to him, you can have as many as you want’ at the same time I catch my wife side-eyeing me like, ‘Don’t be a jerk’.

So whatever, I walk away.

Come back into the room a few minutes later to find my son’s friend still in the kitchen, now with a fork in the jar and eating the last pickle… the jar was about 3/4 full when he started.

The jerk ate almost a month’s worth of pickles in 5 minutes! I didn’t say a word to him (again, not THAT big of a jerk)…. but I was mad.

I sat on it and let it ferment for a while (see what I did there?) and at dinner time I had to let it out.

Told my wife and son that it was a pretty big jerk move of them to just let him sit there and eat my whole jar of pickles. My wife laughed but saw the look on my face and realized I was serious and pretty much just said, ‘You better not start a fight over a jar of pickles’.

So I just zipped it, tucked it away, and tried to forget about it.

But the next day… I’m still mad about it. That wasn’t right… eating another man’s jar of pickles like that and laughing it off when I tried to defend them.

So let me have it, AITJ?”

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Catherine 6 months ago
Wow, your son is one h*ll of a brat. Telling someone that they did not need to listen to you regarding YOUR property. And your wife. Just Freakng WOW!!!!!!
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16. WIBTJ If I Kick My Brother And His Pregnant Significant Other Out?

“I (29F) have been housing my brother (23M) and his significant other (21F) for eight months now. For context about how they moved into my house: my parents didn’t approve of their relationship and they were both unemployed and were initially residing with my parents till they kicked him and his SO out.

My brother graduated with his bachelor’s already but with a poor GPA and his SO dropped out. Since then, they have not even done as much as to find a part-time job. I honestly feel like they are thriving off each other’s instability.

Me being me decided to be kind and let them in when they asked, because after all, he is my brother. In my mind, I thought he would only be seeking temporary refuge till he and she both found a job or had enough to rent a place together.

Guess what, they did none of those things. Now I have to work, cook and clean for both of them. I have been nudging them both to search for jobs or asking his SO to go back to uni but it has been futile.

Both of them either go out and recklessly spend the daily allowance I have given them for IMPORTANT or EMERGENCY expenses or sleep day in and out. Their whole rooms are always unclean and messy and we are talking about grown twenty-year-olds who can’t even put their dirty laundry away.

The money I give them to purchase their own food they spend on random unimportant things or outings and end up eating the food I bought or cooked for myself.

On top of that, although I had my doubts at first which his SO denied, they finally dropped the bomb that she is 4-ish months along.

They want me to be ‘godmother’ which means they not only want me to provide for them but also their growing child. This has caused me to confront them both which escalated into them calling me cruel for not being happy for them and instead planning on kicking them out.

I am at the end of my wits. I think it would be extremely neglectful to bring a child when they don’t have any jobs themselves and are also entitled to expect me to provide. I also don’t want any children myself so to provide for a whole child who is not even my responsibility is not something I am looking forward to.

I am already struggling with the expenses of looking after two other dependents add a child to the mix and I would be finished.

If I kick them out, they also won’t have anywhere to go which I think is the part that would make me the jerk.

I know the girl is preggo and I am not that ruthless, I don’t mind housing her until she gives birth but I’m thinking of kicking out my brother in hopes he would finally find a job to provide for himself and his child so it won’t fall on me to do everything. WIBTJ for doing that though?”

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Claudetteisacar 6 months ago
Stop giving them "allowance", give them 3 months notice to move out, be Godparent if you want to, but you are not this child's parent and you are not their parents. They are adults. Time for them to grow up
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15. AITJ For Giving My Little Brother A Nickname?

“My parents never gave me a nickname while growing up, never gave me an endearment way of saying my name, and neither called me ‘Son”. I was always ‘Sebastian’ (my name), they also never called each other ‘love/darling’ or anything. Only by name.

When I was 6 they told me I had to stop calling them ‘mommy/daddy’ and I had to call them ‘mom/dad’ or by their names.

My (19M) parents had a surprise baby 6 years ago, my little brother Pietro. I don’t have the words to explain how much I love that child, I find him the prettiest baby in the world and I try to show him love in ways I know our parents never will.

Since he was still a small child, they let me call him whatever I want but said that I had to stop once he turns 6. Well since his name is ‘Pietro’ I call him ‘Pea’, this started as ‘sweet pea’, first it was ‘Pi(etro) sweet pea’, then ‘Pietro Pea’, ‘Sweet Peatro’ until it landed on just ‘Pea’.

He actually loves it, and even says his name is ‘Pea Pietro’ when introducing himself, I guess because it’s the only real nickname in our family, once he turned 6, my dad said no more, but I said screw it since I don’t live at their place and continued to call my brother Pea, I only use his real name when I need him to get serious.

Well, my dad called me a few days ago and said that Pea is refusing to come when they call him because he wants to be called ‘Pea’ at home too, he says he likes it, and he doesn’t understand why our parents refuse to call him something he loves.

I talked to him because it was never my intention to get Pea to act out, he kinda got it, but he’s a kid and got sad.

Our mom ended up agreeing and calls him Pea now, I guess she’s tired of that crap too.

But not my dad. He completely refuses and blames me for ‘causing this mess’. He said that if I had stopped when they asked me to, Pea wouldn’t be like this, but man, it’s just a kid, chill out. My mom says that for her the matter is settled but I should talk to Pea again and explain to him how names are a big deal to our dad and he should at least listen to him when he calls him Pietro. To my dad I’m a complete and total jerk so I had to ask.”

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rbleah 6 months ago
NOT THE JERK BUT your parents SUCK. At least your mom is TRYING TO BE A PARENT. Sit the parents down and tell them about how you felt being raised by them and how UNLOVED you felt. Ask them DO YOU WANT TO DO THE SAME THING TO PEA? Then let them figure it out.
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14. AITJ For Telling My Partner I Am Losing Trust In Her Because Of Her Unhealthy Spending Habits?

“So my partner (25F) and I (28M) moved in together a month ago. It’s been rocky…

She earns about double what I get, so we decided to try and share expenses as far as we can. My salary alone is barely enough for one person.

This month’s been extra tough, because my partner’s car broke and we had to get that fixed, cutting her salary in half.

So every time we go out to buy groceries or something, we’ll agree on a certain amount that we can spend.

But then most of the time my partner will put me on the spot and pressure me into buying something way over budget. I’m not talking a couple of dollars, more like 100 dollars at a time.

One time we went to a local pet shop with our friends.

We agreed that we’re only going for company, and not to buy anything. But after talking to the owner, my partner tried forcing me into buying a 100-dollar spider.

Yesterday morning, we had to buy groceries and we agreed on how much we are going to spend.

But I found my partner walking around with a microwave. She said ours was old and she doesn’t like it. But it’s in working condition and I keep it clean.

I sat her down and aired my concerns. She admitted that she was upset at me for telling her no and that she was not used to people getting upset at her.

I tried telling her that we’re supposed to be a team, that if she spends this much money now then we’ll have to go into debt to afford food. She agreed and I thought that was the end of it.

I went to bed but she woke me up at 11 pm and said we need to talk.

She verbatim said ‘I know we had talked earlier, but I really think we need a new carpet. I’m very unhappy with the state of your apartment, and I think having nice stuff will have me feel more at home.’

I was shocked.

First off, yes my apartment looks like an abandoned hospital. But that’s because I was living paycheck to paycheck before she moved in, and it was either my 5-year-old carpet or food…

Secondly, we spoke about this after her car broke down and we BOTH agreed that we’ll refurnish our apartment as soon as we get paid at the end of the month.

I reached my limit and told her that I’m losing trust in her if she can’t stick to her word. That continuing this flaky behavior will become a real issue in our relationship, and I don’t want to be put on the spot like this.

She called me mean for calling her flaky and went into our room and slammed the door. She won’t return my calls and is ignoring me. I received a call from her mom scolding me telling me that I should be supportive because this was a huge move for her and a scary change.

So… AITJ?”

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rbleah 6 months ago
So she needs to go back home to MOMMY and GROW UP. She does NOT want to be told NO. Tell her to pull up her big girl jerk and deal with it or go.
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13. AITJ For Refusing To Pay $5000?

“A friend ‘lent’ me funds when I was in need, and they were nice enough to send me a few thousand to my bank account. Note that I only ever asked to borrow a few hundred, and for some reason, they sent me like…

5000. I didn’t even know how I would pay back 5000 and I didn’t want to cause I never asked for it. I figured I would just transfer back the amount I didn’t need.

I never actually received the 5000. My bank told me it rejected the bank transfer for whatever reason.

I quickly sent a text to my friend saying what happened and that it was fine, and that I’ll find another way to get the money. However, my friend freaked out and told me to send her back the 5000. I told her I couldn’t send her something I never received, but she claimed that the 5000 was taken from her bank account anyways.

I felt bad that she lost funds but there was nothing I could do about it. I never received the funds, and even if I wanted to, I didn’t have 5000 to send her. I told her this, but she insisted I pay her back or give her proof I never received it.

I sent her a screenshot of my bank account (not the personal details but the deposits and withdrawals). It showed my bank balance at like $150 and the last deposit was two months ago. It wasn’t like you could delete a deposit from the bank app.

My friend refused to believe me and claimed that I photoshopped the screenshot and accused me of tricking her because she knows I’m experienced with Photoshop as an art student. I didn’t know what else I could do for her at that point.

She then said the only way to make sure that I wasn’t lying was if I gave her my bank login so she can see for herself that I wasn’t editing stuff. I refused and said that what she was asking me sounded like she was trying to scam me.

That got her angry and she brought some of our other friends into the mix who took her side. They said I needed to pay her back since she sent me the funds, even though I didn’t receive it because the funds still left her account and it was intended for me.

I refused. One, because I never asked for 5000. And two, because I don’t have 5000 to give back. They literally told me it was my job to find a way to pay her back, even if it meant asking my estranged parents for help.

My friend did show proof that $5000 left her account, but there was no proof that $5000 went to my account specifically. I told her that could’ve been a random withdrawal. My friend felt hurt that I was accusing her of taking $5000 out of her account in order to fake a transfer and scam me.

She and my other friends kept pestering me about this so I left the group chat and blocked them. I just felt like it was too much and that I was being made a villain for no reason.”

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Kirkleen 6 months ago
Go to your banks. Invite her to go with you to your bank. Call the bank and make an appointment even. Let them walk through with her. Then she needs to go to her own bank and have them figure out what happened. This is one of those times she might want to call in a parent to go with her.
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12. AITJ For Being Annoyed At Having To Spend Time With My Friends' Partners?

“I (25F) have a tight group of friends, we all met during freshman week of university and have been through so much together. Our group included Alex (25M), who’s also my husband, Bob (25M), Carl (26M), and Dylan (27M). Yes, I’m the only female here but our discipline is mostly male, there were only 6 of us in a class of ~150.

And before anyone stereotypes me, I have other female friends, just that my closest friends are the guys. I’ve been with my husband for 6 years now, Carl has been going out with Cathy (26F) for ~3 years. And Bob and Dylan never really had long-term relationships.

We’d get together every other week, and recently there’s been some changes in our dynamic. Previously, Cathy would come occasionally and we’d all hang out as a group. Last year Dylan started going out with Daisy and she and Cathy got off very well.

So every time we’d meet up, Daisy and Cathy would go and do their thing. Then a bit after that, Bob started going out with Betty and now the three of them would hang out at our get-togethers. Betty however keeps trying to get me to hang out with them.

Usually, I’ll go and just stay for a bit since we don’t have much in common. They call themselves the girls and it’s become somewhat of a gag. ‘OP come sit with us girls’ ‘OP, tell the girls dinner’s ready’ ‘The girls want to do this, OP go join them’ ‘OP see what the girls are doing’ ‘OP tell the girls we’re leaving’.

The other day, we were talking about planning a short road trip and Bob was saying I should come up with something I can do with the girls. I asked why, and he said that it’ll be fun if I can figure out something the girls would enjoy.

I got a bit annoyed and said why do I always have to be to one to babysit your significant others. Betty overheard and a full-on one-sided shouting match followed.

After everything calmed down, Daisy said she felt the same way echoing that it’s weird I never want to hang out with them and that I should stop ‘trying to be one of the guys’.

Bob thinks I’m in the wrong because I compared them to children. Cathy says she’s fine with me not joining them all the time and Carl and Dylan don’t see a problem with what I said. My husband is biased so he doesn’t get a say. But I mean, I want to hang out with my friends, not my friend’s SOs!

So, we’re 3-3 here, what’s the verdict?”

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paot 6 months ago
NTJ! You are old enough to pick your own friends. They sound like clickish mean girls to me
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11. AITJ For Refusing To Stop Eating Meat In Front Of My Coworker?

“I work weekends in a factory environment. I’ve only been here 6 months and the other 3 ladies have been here for over 5 years. We got along really well up until yesterday.

Maybe this would have happened sooner, but for most of my meals I was ‘eating’ Huel which is just a protein drink and very easy to prepare, or I eat in the quiet lunchroom and avoid talking for 30 precious minutes.

Yesterday I ran out of time and just grabbed some leftover spaghetti my roommate made and heated that up. I was sitting in the break room, watching stupid videos on my phone, one earbud in completely in my own world when I realized one of the girls was talking in my direction.

I pulled my earbud out and asked what’s up. She casually asked me what I was eating, and I told her.

She got a strange look on her face and asked if there was meat in it cause the smell was making her sick.

I said yes, there’s beef in it, but we made it yesterday, not sure why it would smell off, it’s so delicious.

She got mad and said, ‘The smell of suffering animals was a problem for her.’ I was like ‘… ok? So move over, I was the first one in the lunch room, you don’t need to sit so close.’

She went OFF on how inconsiderate I was to eat meat around her when I knew the smell made her sick, which A.

No I didn’t. And B. I can’t possibly be the only one here who eats meat.

She said the other girls were so much more considerate than me and a few other things about eating meat and being a monster.

I told her this was my lunch, and if I didn’t have that then I would be hungry all day.

She came back with ‘Better to starve than eat another living creature.’

I replied ‘You have 2 choices: leave or buy me lunch. I’m not going hungry, sorry.’ I put my earbud back in and turned in the other direction so I didn’t have to see her face anymore. I think she left after that but I was over it.

Today none of the other girls will talk to me and one says I was mean to her. Am I the jerk here?”

1 points - Liked by IDontKnow
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rbleah 6 months ago
Take this to HR. She is making the workplace HOSTILE FOR YOU. If they don't help you start looking for a new job. Also if HR does not help you let them know that you are considering going to the labor board. Only use this threat if they try to come down on you about this. It is a last resort. Either way, start job hunting.
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10. AITJ For Taking My Niece In And Keeping Her From Her Parents?

“My niece is 17 and lives with her parents. A little while ago my niece calls me and comes out to me as a lesbian, to which I was as supportive as possible. She hadn’t told the rest of the family.

It is also worth noting that the family didn’t know she came out to me.

Eventually, she came out to the rest of the family, which didn’t go well, as I later heard from her that her parents, my sister, and her husband, reacted very poorly, which included the father yelling at her, telling her that he doesn’t want a gay child, and being generally aggressive towards the situation.

On the other hand, her mother chose the route of ‘It’s just a phase’, ‘You’ll grow out of it’, ‘Maybe if you try going out with a boy for a while you’ll change your mind’.

The next day, she called me after school and asked me to pick her up, which at the time I found odd since my sister hadn’t asked me to pick her up, but I just thought something else was happening.

The moment she got into my car she started crying and told me what happened. I invited her to stay at my house for the night, just to see if things calmed down. She had softball practice and a volunteer thing after school, so her parents wouldn’t know she was with me for a few hours.

Remember how I said that my sister and her husband didn’t know that she already came out to me? Well while we were at my house, my sister and her husband started posting things on social media about her coming out, how ashamed they were, and if anyone had any ideas on how to ‘fix their daughter’.

While this made me concerned, what my brother-in-law was posting made it even more terrifying. He started posting things about conversion therapy, about punishing my niece, and about how he could ‘beat the gay out’. I assumed they didn’t know she was with me, but this scared me.

I eventually decided that my niece should stay at my house for an extended period of time, at least until I was sure she would be safe. My niece agreed to this too.

The part I’m having an issue with is that her parents somehow found out that she was with me.

I don’t know if they were tracking her phone, or got info from someone who saw her with me, but they started calling me and telling me to bring her back. They were calling me ‘manipulative’ and ‘predatory’ for keeping their daughter from them and even got my parents to start trying to convince me to bring her to them.

It eventually got to the point where they said they would call the police and get ‘a manipulative child stealer’ like me locked up, and started telling me how I betrayed their trust.

I love my family, and I love my sister, but I also want my niece to be safe, but I don’t know, should I have let her try working it out with her parents by herself? I feel bad for ripping apart their family, and I don’t really know If I did the right thing. Am I really a jerk for having her at my house or did I do the right thing?”

1 points - Liked by IDontKnow and lise1
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rbleah 6 months ago
Call the police yourself and SHOW THEM what the family has been saying. Make sure you copy EVERYTHING they said and give a copy to the police after telling them you are concerned for your nieces safety after those THREATS.
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9. AITJ For Not Sending Any More Of My Daughter's Photos To My Mother-In-Law?

“I (30F) had my daughter 3 months ago. My husband and I decided before she was born that we weren’t going to post pictures of her on our social media and we asked our extended family to abide by this as well.

Because our daughter is so young neither mine nor my husband’s family have gotten to meet our daughter in person. There have been Facetime calls with them, and pretty soon they should be able to meet her in person, but for now, it’s just pictures.

Because we have so many family members who wanted photos I made a private album on social media to allow them to see the pictures whenever they want, but I reminded everyone that again we didn’t want photos posted online. Everyone seemed to respect that until one day I found my MIL had posted the pics from the album on her timeline.

I messaged her and asked her to take them down, but she said no because she wanted to be able to share the pictures with her friends and it was ‘insane’ of me to completely restrict sharing any photos online.

I told her I would be happy to get the photos physically made for her, but that it’s very important to us to maintain our daughter’s privacy.

I understand people post pics of their kids all the time, but personally, people aren’t entitled to photos of my child just like they aren’t entitled to know anything else about my life. I choose what to share and I also want to respect my daughter’s right to a private life.

When she is older she will be free to make her own choice on the subject, and of course, we are still going to take plenty of photos of her, but they will remain private for us and our family.

Because my MIL refused to take down the photos I have since taken down the album entirely because even though I restricted her access she was still getting photos from other family members who had access and continuing to post them.

My husband has been in contact with his parents telling them to stop, but they still feel they have a right to do it, and other family members on his side have said we are blowing this way out of proportion. I have stopped sending photos to my MIL and FIL even when requested privately now because I don’t trust them not to post them. I just don’t understand what is so hard about respecting our wants as her parents.”

1 points - Liked by IDontKnow
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MzPen 6 months ago
NTJ. Who does that, repeatedly ignoring a request like that? LC!
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8. AITJ For Not Rescheduling My Surgery So I Can Attend My Partner's Little Sister's Birthday?

“I (31M) lost my uncle to pancreatic cancer in January. The only good that came out of it was that I finally got off my bum and went for a long overdue doctor’s visit. MD sent me to a dermatologist to look at a questionable lesion on my scalp.

Finally saw the dermatologist at the end of February and had a biopsy done.

The biopsy came back positive for squamous cell carcinoma, so I’m understandably stressed and very upset, so when I scheduled my procedure, I wasn’t thinking straight when I accepted the first available date and time.

The date falls on my partner’s (28F) little sister’s (LS, 20F) 21st birthday. The thing is, even if I had been thinking, my partner is in very low contact with her parents/sister because her sister is the spoiled golden child, her parents are her enablers, and it’s a mess.

My partner only calls on birthdays and we suffer one day between Christmas and New Year.

My partner flipped out on me because since 21 is a milestone birthday (USA), we HAVE to go to LS’s birthday. I asked if she was expecting me to reschedule surgery, and my partner said that yes, of course, that’s what she expected because there was no way she was going alone.

I kind of laughed in disbelief and reiterated she was asking me to reschedule surgery to remove CANCER. I told her she didn’t have to go alone if I had surgery, she could tell her family she had to stay home and take care of me after surgery, even if she sat around in PJs and ate ice cream on the couch instead.

She screamed at me for being stupid and thinking it was okay to do or say anything that would make me seem more important than LS’s birthday and she said if I didn’t reschedule, I could sleep on the couch.

I refused to reschedule or sleep on the couch and said if she didn’t want to share the bed with me, by all means, she could sleep on the couch, which she ended up doing, and now she and I aren’t speaking because she tells me to get lost every time I try.

Since my partner was mad at me, I went to my mom for some comfort about the diagnosis ONLY. I didn’t say a word about how my partner reacted, and if my mom had asked, I would have said my partner was upset, but not about what.

She asked if my partner was going to look after me, or if I needed anything, and I said, ‘I don’t know, the surgery is on LS’s birthday, so I might be on my own.’

What I wasn’t expecting was for my mom to tell me it was really inconsiderate of me to schedule on someone’s birthday.

She didn’t tell me to reschedule, but I was pretty shocked that she said that, especially since my mom’s brother is the one who just died, and she is a ten-year survivor of non-Hodgkins.

Squamous cell is pretty slow growing and doesn’t usually spread, so I could have scheduled it for later. But at the same time, I don’t want it on me any longer than it absolutely has to be. Am I really the jerk here?”

1 points - Liked by IDontKnow
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Claudetteisacar 6 months ago
NTA! Your health is far more important. Why is your other half so willing to please a family she doesn't talk to?
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7. AITJ For Not Letting My Wife's Friend Disturb Her Breastfeeding?

“My wife gave birth recently. She’s been trying to breastfeed but she has a hard time because she isn’t producing enough milk.

My mom who was a midwife said it was because of stress and that my wife was too stressed out to make enough breastmilk.

The doctor and the lactation consultant confirmed that stress does impact the flow of milk. My wife’s work has been pinging us even though she has six months of maternity leave.

My mom moved in with us to help with the baby.

My wife’s family lives too far to be anything but moral support. She’s been making my wife food (stuff that helps with milk production), making my wife rest, and making sure she gets enough sleep.

My mom suggests my wife lie in a quiet, dim room, and I or my mom would rub her feet or her shoulders or would stroke her hair (both these things soothe my wife) and just let her feel relaxed.

This has actually worked the best. The important part is to start the process before the baby is hungry.

My wife has an incredibly irritating childhood friend, Becky. Becky is the worst type of soul-sucking person. She makes a crappy problem and runs to my wife to fix it.

My wife is reluctant to stand up to Becky because Becky was the only girl who didn’t make fun of her in their childhood. That’s because she treats my wife like her personal servant.

On Sunday, Becky came over because the man she was hooking up with dumped her, and plus she spent all her money on booze and couldn’t afford rent for the month which she was already late on.

She expected me to call my wife down so that she could fix her problems. I said no and told her to leave because my wife was breastfeeding. She insisted and tried to sneak past me and enter our house. I told her that my wife was breastfeeding and that she could not be disturbed, as per my mom’s suggestions.

I told her that she would stress out my wife with her problems and if she wanted to come in she couldn’t talk about them at all

She called me controlling and a momma’s boy and friends of my wife later texted me calling me a jerk. My wife says she doesn’t care that I told her to leave but said I could be gentler about her problems.”

1 points - Liked by IDontKnow
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rbleah 6 months ago
NO you COULD NOT have been gentler. That cretin would have PUSHED HARDER. Tell her to get lost and is no longer welcome in/at your home. YOUR WIFE AND CHILD are MORE IMPORTANT than this TOXIC FEMALE.
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6. AITJ For Telling My Husband To Limit His Friends' Usage Of The Pool?

“I’m a working (sole income earner for the time being) mom of 2. My husband has been struggling to find a job for 16 months (I don’t know what’s up with that) and so I’ve been solely paying for everything.

As you know it’s summertime, and the kids want to go to the beach every weekend but I’m busy working often times and my husband won’t bother to take them unless he uses my car which is a no for me because I need it for work.

Anyway, so I put some funds towards renovating (and upgrading) our old pool so the kids could use it. The thing is once the pool was ready my husband started inviting his friends to come over and use it for hours.

They’d basically taken over preventing the kids from enjoying it. They complained about being denied the pool several times which caused them to get upset.

So what I did was talk to my husband about it and tell him to limit his friends’ usage of the pool.

He flipped out at me saying it’s his house/water too and I can’t control what he does/who he brings. I got mad and in return told him that tomorrow the kids get the pool or else I will ban his friends from it completely.

He side-eyed me and said ‘FINE! THEY CAN HAVE THE POOL TOMORROW!’

Well next day, my daughter calls me crying saying dad brought his friends over and refused to let her and her brother play in the pool. I was L.I.V.I.D I literally left work right then and went home.

I saw him and his friends in the pool messing around I just screamed my head off on them telling them to get out. My husband tried to get involved but I told him off and had all of his friends leave.

He blew up at me for acting like a lunatic and said that I was being controlling and shameless. I said I already told him to let the kids play in the pool yet he ignored my request. He yelled at me saying just because I paid to fix the pool doesn’t mean I own it.

He then went back inside and started calling his friends one by one to apologize ‘on my behalf’ since he said I was too shameless to do it myself. He then left the house and hasn’t been back yet.

Edit:

  • I paid for the pool to get renovated/upgraded.
  • He and his friends are always ALWAYS there using it giving me and the kids 0 chance to spend some time in it.
  • He and his friends trash the pool every single time (dropping food and drinks) and I end up having to clean it up myself.”
1 points - Liked by IDontKnow
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CG1 6 months ago
He doesn't want to work and I would Seriously Divorce Him ,you are already paying for Everything anyway. Throw Him Out !!
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5. AITJ For Not Returning The Bag?

“I (19F) work at a thrift store 3 days a week. It’s quite a big one, and a lot of people in my area come and shop there. Every product is labeled in accordance with a color-coded system, and the color changes every week.

Furthermore, there is a section in the store that sells the more expensive donations (mostly brands). These products are usually sold at a higher price.

I’m a very low-level employee and my job is to place the products on the shelves and on the poles.

Because of that, I see what is about to be sold in advance. However, I can’t buy anything that is labeled with the color of the week. So, for example, if this week’s color is red, I have to wait until the next week to buy anything with the label in red.

Now, I usually work on weekends + a random day of the week. Two weeks ago, it fell on a Tuesday. That meant that we had just started a new color, yellow. As I was putting bags on a shelf, I realized that one of them was from a VERY expensive fashion brand.

At first glance, you wouldn’t be able to recognize it, but because I spend too much time on Pinterest, I immediately started panicking. This bag, which usually retails for a few THOUSAND was in a sale at a thrift store for 12.99.

I was going to faint. Unfortunately for me, because it was labeled in yellow, I couldn’t have it. Because it’s not the first time this sort of thing happens, I calmed down, put the bag back in its place, and continued my job.

As I was going on with my day, I kept going back to the same section, praying that no one had taken it. At the end of my shift, I saw that it was still there and I decided that, if no one had bought it, I would.

Four days later, I come back to start my day and I see that the bag is still there, but it was now further back on the shelf, behind some other ones. I don’t touch anything, I kept doing my job.

Did the same on Sunday.

Last Monday, I woke up and went there to shop. As soon as I entered the store, I went to the bag section and took the bag, beelined to checkout, and bought it. I was so excited.

I guess some of my excitement was showing because my coworker asked me why I was smiling. I and this coworker usually get on well and I explained to her the situation. She smiled and told me she was happy for me.

Last Saturday, while on my shift, my boss called me into his office to talk. He was with one of my managers and they went on to tell me that I had acted inappropriately by not notifying them of the price of the bag.

They asked that I return it so that they would put it back on sale, this time at a much higher price. I told them no because I followed the policy. They weren’t happy, but they couldn’t force me.

Yesterday, when I got to work, my coworkers kept on making remarks and my managers had this unhappy look on their faces. I explained the story to my friend and she said that even if it was my bag, it was not fair that I kept the information for myself.

So, am I the jerk?”

1 points - Liked by IDontKnow
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CG1 6 months ago
Too bad for the managers ,not your job to tell them .But next time Control your Excitement And DON'T TELL ANYONE !
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4. AITJ For Telling My Late Brother's Partner That He Was Planning To Break Up With Her?

“My (M17) older brother (M26) passed away 3 weeks ago in an auto accident. It was devastating for the entire family though he was in low contact with them for minor disagreements. His partner was the one devastated the most. She didn’t eat or take a shower for an entire week.

My parents took her in last week because she could no longer afford rent for the apartment she shared with my brother.

Here’s the situation, before my brother passed away, I think this took place a month ago. He confided in me his problems with his partner and said he was planning on breaking up with her next month (Jan).

I thought that was too much for his partner since she’d always been the one to try to work things out but my brother had issues.

Seeing his partner depressed to the point of losing weight and hearing her break down crying multiple times a day, I decided to sit down and tell her what my brother was planning on doing.

I didn’t just dish it out on her, I just told her what he told me but she reacted in a very negative way. She had a break down crying and screaming at me.

My parents came rushing asking what was happening and I told them after my brother’s partner rushed upstairs.

My parents berated me saying I should never have said this to her seeing how bereaved and struggling she was. I explained that I felt bad for her and didn’t think it was fair for me to hide this important truth from her.

They told me I had no right and this was not good timing… also said that I just made it worse and tainted my brother’s memory for her and confused her even more. I got punished harshly but my friends agreed I did the right thing since my brother’s partner’s situation is just tragic and she needed this piece of info and I was right and considerate to give it to her.

I really think I just let her know this because I felt guilty for hiding the truth from her but I might be the jerk for what I did.”

-1 points - Liked by LadyTauriel
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MzPen 6 months ago
Exactly why did you think she needed this information? Do you hate her that much? I can't think of any other reason. You weren't "hiding the truth." Even if your brother was serious about breaking up, it was never your place to tell her, even if she deserved to be dumped. You're absolutely a jerk!
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3. AITJ For Blaming My Giant Poop On The Host's Cooking?

“I’m 19M, and my family is close friends with a neighbor’s family, have been since at least when my mother was around my age. I got invited to a wedding halfway across the country for some cousin of theirs that I had never met, and we drove over to Nebraska in a convoy to attend.

Some of my folks booked hotel rooms, but I wound up staying at this large farmhouse and sleeping in a guest room.

The night before the wedding, I was eating dinner with them in the farmhouse, and there were a lot of corn dishes.

The food didn’t entirely agree with me, but I ate dinner politely, hung around in the evening, and took to my room. Around 4 in the morning, I wake up, with stabbing pains in my bowels. I make my way over to a restroom and begin a difficult struggle to pass this thing.

I’m not normally prone to constipation, but hoo boy, this was bad.

Eventually, I pass this brick of crap, as thick as my wrist. After checking to make sure I hadn’t ruptured anything, I tried to flush it, but it was too thick to go down the narrow opening.

I got on some work gloves and broke it up manually, before trying to flush it again. The toilet wouldn’t flush. I got a plunger and tried to unclog things, but no dice.

Long story short, a plumber had to be called and the house’s owner, my buddy’s great-uncle, started asking me why I wanted to destroy his toilet.

Looking back, I think I might have been joking, but I was in pain and embarrassed and at the time it certainly felt like he was getting on my case. I told him that it was because of his lousy cooking that I had this giant crap, and if anything it was his fault really.

It made the wedding awkward, and I’ve gotten a few comments from members of their family that I’m more personally close with that I should apologize to the great-uncle. Have I been the jerk?”

-1 points (1 vote(s))
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IDontKnow 4 months ago
Yeah YTJ. I understand you were sensitive because your were embarrassed, but still. Also, does corn make you constipated? Isn't it basically all fiber and therefore would be more likely to cause diarrhea?
Next time, don't eat foods that aren't agreeing with you.
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2. AITJ For Telling My Husband The Truth About His Health?

“I (28f) and my husband (30m) K have been married for 2 years together for 5.

It was made very clear at the beginning of our relationship that I care a lot about physical fitness. K and I have always been very fit people who regularly attend the gym and eat well so that has never been a problem.

5 months ago, my husband decided to go off of his anxiety meds. I know people typically gain weight while on certain medications but he (thankfully) never had that problem. However, since going off of his meds I’ve noticed he has been to the gym less and has been eating some junk food.

Because of this, he has gained a significant amount of weight. I tried to urge him to go to the gym more and cut out the junk food but he didn’t take it well and would just kind of go silent and nod when I suggested it.

Recently, one of my BILs (33m) D came over. He noticed my husband has gained a lot of weight since his last visit a few months ago.

A couple of nights ago after dinner, K was getting (an unhealthy) snack. D noticed K eating a lot of snacks and told K that he needed to ‘chill’ and cut down on the carbs.

My husband got offended and said it was none of his brother’s business what he ate and that gaining ’10-15 pounds isn’t a big deal’. I tried to stay out of it but then K asked why I wasn’t defending him.

I finally broke. I gently said that honestly, I agreed with D. And that my husband’s weight gain was a problem. Gaining 10 pounds in 5 months was pretty extreme and if I had known this would happen I never would have encouraged K to go off of his meds.

K got really upset and went off to our room and ended up staying there the rest of the night (which I felt was kind of dramatic but anyways). Later, when I went to bed, K asked why I said all of those rude things.

I didn’t think I was rude so I got kind of offended to be honest that he was suddenly accusing me. I ended up losing my cool and saying I couldn’t believe he didn’t see the problem. His weight gain was causing me stress and making me not attracted to him anymore.

He used to look amazing but now I can barely see his abs (which I know isn’t a big deal to some people but to me it is). K started crying and told me to get out and I ended up sleeping in the guest room. He still won’t talk to me.

AITJ for finally telling my husband the truth about his health?”

-2 points (2 vote(s))
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MzPen 6 months ago
YTJ - you didn't tell him the truth about his "health" - you're more concerned about his physical appearance than his mental well-being. Wanting to be fit and healthy is fine, but you need to explore why you're so shallow.
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1. AITJ For Showing My Wife's Private Room To Our Guests?

“My wife (28F) and I (29M) recently got our first house together after finally saving up enough after grad school. My wife is autistic and often gets very overstimulated by others being around her and needs to be alone or in a comforting environment.

For this purpose, we have set up a room in the new house for her which is pretty much just a small comfort room decorated with her special interests, collections, and other comforting things for her.

The agreement is that if the door to that room is closed, she wants to be left alone and I won’t bother her.

The door isn’t locked so I can still access her in case of emergency or anything, and it’s not like she uses this room in any kind of toxic way, which is what anyone who’s heard about the room kind of implies.

Anyways, the part where I might be the jerk is that this week I had guests over while my wife was at work and they asked for a tour of the house since it’s new and they hadn’t been over before.

During the tour, I kind of subconsciously skipped my wife’s room, but since the door is always ajar when she’s not in the room, it caught the guests’ attention. The guests had brought their daughter (8F) who immediately wanted to go inside because she saw ‘toys’ and ‘dolls’ (which are my wife’s collectibles).

I thought it would be awkward to try and skip this specific room in the tour, especially since they could already see inside that it wasn’t anything super private, so I took them in and briefly showed them around. They weren’t judgmental or anything and thought my wife’s things were really cool.

When my wife got home from work that day she was feeling overwhelmed and went to her room right away to calm down, but then almost immediately came out asking who had touched her stuff. Apparently, the 8-year-old must have switched the order of one of the items or something and it really bugged my wife, who is now accusing me of violating her privacy and risking her mental health.

I don’t deny I should’ve kept a closer eye on the kid in the room, but I think my wife is unfair to accuse me of violating her privacy or intentionally trying to embarrass her. Nothing was damaged or removed and she was able to return everything to the right place. I also had no idea she would react this way and will be sure not to do it again, but she is not acknowledging it was an honest mistake not intended to hurt her. AITJ?”

-4 points (4 vote(s))
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rbleah 6 months ago
You KNEW it is HER ROOM. YOU ARE THE JERK. You now must GROVEL at her feet so to speak and PROMISE to NEVER TO DO THAT AGAIN.
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