People Want To Gain Our Approval After Telling Their "Am I The Jerk?" Stories

We should constantly strive to treat people with compassion, no matter the situation. Nobody wants to be known for having a terrible reputation because it could negatively change how other people perceive them. But on occasion, even when we have good intentions, we could act in a way that seems a little (or a lot) jerky to other people. These people below ask for our opinion regarding whether or not they are jerks. Read their stories and share your thoughts with us. AITJ = Am I the jerk? NTJ = Not the jerk WIBTJ = Would I be the jerk? YTJ = You're the jerk

35. AITJ For Making My Baseball Team Ride A State Prison Bus?

“I’m a high school baseball coach. I love what I do. But things have been hard over the last couple of years with inflation and other crises state school district budget cuts.

The baseball program is surviving off of fundraisers, a sponsorship from the local auto parts store, and the baseball coaches are donating a portion of their salaries.

One of the biggest things that was cut was the school buses. Those buses were free, and we relied on them to get the kids to their games, training, and tournaments.

We really can’t have a season without them, and I vented to my brother-in-law about this.

My brother-in-law chaperones for the team and works at the state prison. He said, ‘I’ll see what I can do.’ The next day he said that the Warden of the Prison offered one of the buses for us to use for the season. He even gave us a $5,000 check of his own money made out to our team.

I literally cried with this news. It was a lifeline for the season.

The parents felt a certain way of having their kids on a prison bus. But they understood the cards that we were being dealt and quickly got over it. However, we’ve gained notoriety throughout the city/county as the ‘prison bus team.’ We’ve become kind of notorious like the Bad News Bears and the kids love it.

School Administration and the School District said my behavior as a coach was ‘inappropriate’ and threatened to suspend me if I didn’t take the kids off the prison bus. But what else do we have? What later came about is the kids and the parents blasting them all over social media about the budget cuts and how the Prison is supporting the kids more than the school district.

They’ve become black sheep in our town and have basically been shunned for not supporting the kids in the community. I get it can be embarrassing but I just want to check, AITJ?”

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LizzieTX 5 months ago
NTJ, and outing the school board leaders as to what they're doing to provide buses for your team might be the answer. Nothing wilts a bully faster than being condemned in the court of public opinion, especially an administrator.
Something like contacting the local news station and saying that "if the school board had been a little more proactive about providing transportation for my team, we wouldn't HAVE to rely on a prison bus to get them to games!" works wonders.
Good luck.
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34. AITJ For Reporting My Neighbors For Installing A Camera That's Facing My Garden?

“I am a woman in my 20s and recently moved houses (I live on my own). My new next-door neighbors are a middle-aged couple who are extremely religious (I am not going to mention what religion they are but they’re on the more fundamentalistic side of their religion).

We’ve had amazing weather lately and I’ve been spending a lot of my time in my garden, chilling or working on my laptop, wearing shorts and T-shirts or summer dresses. Just normal clothes. I hadn’t even really met my neighbors until one day, the woman (Mira) rang my doorbell.

To my surprise, she asked me to start covering up, that she has a husband and growing boys and I shouldn’t be showing my body. That men can’t help but look and it’s our, women’s, responsibility to cover our bodies.

I told her that, no and that men are perfectly capable of not looking and perhaps she should teach her husband and sons that they shouldn’t be creeps and I closed the door.

While I hadn’t noticed anything earlier, now I was on high alert and whenever I was in the garden, I noticed someone in their house was often creeping on me through the window.

One day, I was coming home from shopping and saw her husband installing a camera FACING MY GARDEN.

I could see another one facing my living room. It was creepy, to say the least, and I decided to get my own camera because I wasn’t feeling safe.

Well, turns out it was a good idea because the husband was a major peeping Tom.

Turns out that whenever his wife left and at night (I often stay up late), he would come and try to sneak a peak through my windows (mostly my downstairs bathroom).

I ended up reporting him to local authorities (not the police) for the cameras because you can’t have them facing someone else’s property where I live.

They made him take them down and the woman came over shouting at me how I lied about her husband and they got in trouble and she called me various names for the oldest profession in the world. She claimed that it was a safety camera and I should’ve talked to them first and they would have sorted it out and I didn’t have to get the authorities involved. But frankly, after the last conversation we had, I didn’t feel comfortable speaking with them.

I am now considering reporting him for peeping as well but I am wondering, AITJ for reporting them for cameras without speaking to them first?”

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KayeItsMe 5 months ago
NTJ but you really should have reported the peeping tom. As for the wife/mother - she's contributing to the bad behavior of at least one pervert. The whole thing is a huge red flag to me. That's exactly the attitude that makes some men feel it's acceptable to sexually assault women. If you have other female neighbors nearby, you should probably show them the video of him peeping. Warn them so they can protect themselves.
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33. WIBTJ If I Wear A Blue Dress To My Wedding?

“I (F 25) am getting married to my fiance (M 35) pretty soon. We both aren’t huge on ‘traditional’ weddings, he’s a Satanist and I’m pagan, we’re doing a Satanist wedding, basically, vows to hold up the eleven pillars, and a knot tying from my faith, with a more traditional reception afterward.

Both of our families are very Christian, Church of Christ for him and Catholic for me, so the reception was a compromise and we had to include some Christian traditions as well, so wedding cake, walking with my dad down the aisle, etc.

My mother (F 54) and my sister (F 22) went dress shopping with me the other day.

My fiance and I believe in aura and inner magic and I want a dress that will match his aura, which happens to be a dark, cobalt blue color. I found a beautiful dress, way under my budget, and I was so excited to wear it.

My mother and sister were not pleased.

As mentioned before our families are very Christian and my mom said they had compromised with me so much on my faith and lifestyle, I live with my fiance and we have slept together before getting married, but the dress was something special.

I joked it would be my ‘something blue’ and my mom was firm on her decision. My wedding is so unchristian and far from her vision for me that she said if I brought my partner’s ‘aura’ into our wedding she would not be attending.

I just don’t know what to do there are beautiful white dresses out there and I know that all of our parents would want me to wear white, but I want my wedding day to be mine.

I also don’t want to tear a rift between my family and myself.

I love them a lot and we are really close, but I want to see my fiance’s face when he sees me in his color. I really want this blue dress. So would I be the jerk?”

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MadameZ 5 months ago
NTJ: your wedding, not theirs. Their imaginary friend is not your problem. Though they are going to keep trying to push their nonsense on you, whether you give on on the wedding dress or not, so it's better to stand firm now.
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32. AITJ For Being Offended By My Sister-In-Law's Comments About My Birthday Gift To My Niece?

“Yesterday was my (24 female) niece’s (5 female) birthday, my niece is my sister-in-law Megan’s (25 female) firstborn, and my sister-in-law is currently pregnant with her fourth child.

When I received the invitation to the party there was a note asking everyone to not forget about the mommy when shopping for birthday gifts. That my niece’s birthday was also meant to celebrate the woman who carried her for nine months.

I will be honest I’m not Megan’s biggest fan, I’ve always found her to be a large drama queen.

So when I read that I was supposed to bring her a present to her daughter’s birthday party I was annoyed and knew I would be doing no such thing.

For my niece’s birthday, I made her a large wool hand-crocheted blanket and matching teddy bear.

When it came time to open gifts it was Megan sitting on a chair in the center of the living room with my nieces sitting on the floor next to her. Megan opened every single present even the ones meant for my niece. It was only after she was done she would hand the open present to my niece.

When it came time to open my present I watched as Megan opened my gift, shuffled past the teddy bear and blanket, and proceeded to search for ‘her gift’. When Megan found no other present she looked up and asked me if there was another present from me in the pile, I responded ‘No’.

Disappointed Megan took the blanket out of the box and proceeded to ask me questions like ‘Where did you get such a cute blanket’ and ‘I hope you didn’t break the bank with such an extravagant present’. Her tone of voice came across as sincere but the way she stared at me across the room definitely gave me a different impression.

I responded to her questions by saying that I made the teddy bear and blanket myself and that it was no trouble for my little niece. Megan chuckles and asks me in front of the whole party if I had actually made the gifts, I respond absolutely.

Megan and I go back and forth in front of everyone for a minute but Megan ends the conversation by saying I didn’t actually make the gifts because I didn’t collect the wool for the blanket or make the buttons on the bear myself.

That for something to be handmade you have to use only your hands from start to finish otherwise it doesn’t count.

After, my MIL pulled me aside, she was extremely upset with me for antagonizing Megan. No one in the family likes Megan but my in-laws play nice because when they didn’t Megan and her husband moved halfway across the country, they just recently moved back to town.

After my MIL thoroughly lectured me on ‘keeping the peace’ she asked me to leave the party, go buy Megan a present, and to come back when I was ready with an apology.

Instead, I left the party and took my presents with me. All day today I have been playing telephone with friends and relatives of Megan.

All of them accused me of ruining my niece’s birthday party and telling me I was a jerk for stealing my niece’s birthday presents.

Edit: My intention for taking the present was to rewrap the gift and give it to my niece myself so she could actually open a birthday present.

After her mom opened the present she put it back in the box and back on the table, she didn’t actually give the gift to my niece.”

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LizzieTX 5 months ago
NTJ and brava for you handling of the situation.
Tell MIL that in future, you will not be attending parties for either your niece's and certainly not Megan's birthdays, if your gifts aren't given to their intended recipient, and you will not be apologizing for anything to anyone. The nerve!
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31. AITJ For Not Giving My Aunt A Refund After I Babysat Her Daughter?

“I (16) am taking the Living Environments regents this August. I was planning to use last Friday afternoon to study all afternoon as both of my siblings would be out of the house so it would be quiet.

Friday morning my aunt texts me and asks me if I can babysit her daughter from noon to 5 that afternoon. I told her I was busy but she pushed and said as long as I was there and keeping an eye on her daughter it was fine.

I did think it was weird, considering her daughter is 13 and entering 8th grade in the fall, that she needed a babysitter, and that she was insistent it be not at her house, but at mine.

When my aunt dropped her off she said she would mostly be on her phone and she went and sat down in a different room.

For most of the afternoon, she stayed away from me and didn’t interact with me at all, except when I checked on her. At 3 she came into the same room as me and sat at the table where I was, still not at all interacting with me even when I asked if she needed anything or wanted to do anything, she’d give one-word answers and just sat there on her phone, except for the multiple times she demanded I make her a snack.

My aunt was late picking her up and refused to pay me for that time, and complained about my cost, even though I was charging her less than I earn at my job.

A few hours later I got a text from her asking what I did and I told her I was studying.

She asked if I showed her daughter any ‘inappropriate’ images. I was extremely confused and told her I had not. She said that her daughter said differently. I asked my parents to handle it because I didn’t want to deal with it. She claimed that her daughter had seen (correct according to the state) diagrams of the human reproductive system, that are also shown to students her daughter’s age.

She did not of course phrase it that way, instead in a way making it seem much worse.

I told her that unless her daughter was looking at my paper I didn’t show her any images, but if she had it is possible that she may have seen a diagram because that is part of the curriculum.

She got very upset at this, complained about it on social media, and demanded a refund. I understand her concern but her daughter looked at the paper of her own free will and is going into 8th grade, at which point LE is a course option and they will be learning about reproduction.

I told her she would not be getting a refund.

She is still very upset about this and bugging me for money. I don’t think I owe her it but I don’t know, she and her husband are both extremely upset at me.

AITJ?”

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LizzieTX 5 months ago
NTJ, and tell idiot aunt that if her daughter wasn't familiar with human reproductive physiology at the age of 13, that's a parental fail of epic proportions and she should be ashamed of not introducing her child to the realities of her own body and that of the male of the species. What a moron. No refund.
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30. AITJ For Refusing To Refund A Buyer's Payment?

“I know this woman from her online shop. We’ve never met in person until today. You can tell by the way she runs her business that she’s a penny pincher and passes a lot of costs on to her customers that typically are taken care of as business expenses.

She reached out and asked if I was ever going to get rid of some of my daughter’s things to let her know.

A few weeks went by and I gathered items that I was willing to part with and sent photos of everything to her.

She chose two toys and we agreed on a price. I was very transparent. She saw photos and asked questions about their condition. I said one toy was never outside but currently in the garage only for a few days (this was shown in the photo) and the other toy (an outside water toy) was shown as being outside in the photos.

I cleaned the outside toy and mentioned that as well. I mentioned it was put together and I believe played with once but overall good condition.

A few days pass and she comes to pick them up, and I have them ready. She physically sees them as her husband loads them into their car.

A few hours later, she says she’s unhappy about their condition. She claims the water toy has mold on the bottom, but it doesn’t. She claims she never knew the inside toy was dusty from the garage, she saw the photos. Then she decides she wants to bring them back, then keep them and sell herself, then bring them back.

I agreed to refund her if she brought them back, no hard feelings, I’ll just resell them. Then she messages later saying she wants to keep them but she wants me to refund her partially because the outside toy is missing a few ‘add-ons’ I didn’t even know existed.

This was never advertised as brand new and I’m not Amazon customer service so no, you don’t get a partial refund. I was asking garage sale pricing and she knew she was buying USED good condition items. She claims she shouldn’t have to drive to bring them back to me and she listed health issues.

I have my own issues I’m dealing with as well. If she wasn’t happy with them, she could have initially refused them at my house. She took them and had buyer’s remorse. Do people offer ‘garage sale’ refunds? I thought I was being generous by offering her to bring it back.

AITJ for refusing to partially refund her and making her bring it back?”

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MadameZ 5 months ago
She's a scammer. Tell her she can either return the items for a full refund or she can get lost. Then block her and do not deal with her again.
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29. AITJ For Not Telling My Husband's Best Friend And His Wife About The Bad Energy In Their New Home?

“I (Asian, 30s F) live with my husband (Asian, 30s M) in a city where the housing market is very hot (like places go way over asking and sell in days). This market also has a lot of foreign buyers from Asia. When we were shopping around, we saw a few homes that were priced very low and had been on the market for months.

Our realtor warned us that these homes had bad feng shui because these houses sit where the road runs into them (like a T intersection). This is considered very bad luck. We aren’t superstitious but we had concerns about future resale value since the primary buyers are usually Asian.

We polled some Asian friends and everyone was split between ‘absolutely would not buy’ to ‘don’t care about ghosts but care about resale value.’ Our realtor pointed out a few more negatives that come along with homes at the T intersection that didn’t have to do with superstitions and ultimately we passed on these places because the negatives outweighed the affordable price.

We find out later that my husband’s best friend (Caucasian) and his wife (Asian) bought one of these homes. I’m not a big fan of the wife, Angela. Angela had made some Debbie Downer comments when we got engaged like, ‘Wow, that diamond is tiny!

How cute!’ or like, ‘You’re planning to hold your wedding at a restaurant? Is it because you don’t have enough money to get a real venue?’ I tend to avoid Angela now at group events and if they ask to double date, I make an excuse not to go.

My husband agrees that Angela isn’t the nicest person but he wants to keep his friendship with John.

My husband asked me if he should tell John about the potential issues with these homes. Not going to lie, it still stings that Angela was so snarky about our engagement and wedding planning and I didn’t want to help them out at all.

So I told my husband that they’re probably excited about buying their first home and now is not the time to rain on someone’s parade like Angela did to ours. I also pointed as Angela is Asian, she or her family would be aware of the feng shui and they probably considered it.

And she didn’t know, it’s their realtor’s job to help them with the pros and cons of each house, not us.

So John and Angela bought the place in the end and my husband didn’t say anything. They have their housewarming and during that, one of our mutual friends (Asian) asked, ‘So I guess the bad energy of the house didn’t bother you guys, huh?’ Which prompted John to ask what he meant and later he asked my husband if my husband knew about the bad feng shui in the house.

My husband admits he knew and John says that my husband screwed him over by not telling him.

AITJ for telling my husband not to give John and Angela the heads up about these homes?”

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anma7 5 months ago
NTJ... for gods sake tell john to grow up, hes white and wife is asian.... maybe their realtor didn't bother telling them as they figured that he wouldn't be bothered.... sounds like angela is rubbing off on john and that's not gonna help hos freodnships with anyone to be honest
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28. AITJ For Being Annoyed That My Partner Takes Over The Living Room When Sick?

“My (29F) partner (41M) has a habit of using the living room to rest whenever he is sick or just very tired. However, he then expects me to not partake in any activity that makes noise (eg: watching the television or playing a video game), which really only leaves me the option of endlessly scrolling on my phone or reading; I’d usually do the latter but sometimes I’m just not in the mood.

Today, he came home from work early as he wasn’t feeling well. I made him a hot water bottle and tea, brought him biscuits, a blanket, and his book, and gave him a cuddle. I’d been working on some work prep on my laptop so was fairly quiet for an hour or so but once I’d finished, wanted to find something to do.

Since in the past, he has expressed not wanting noise, I turned on the GameCube to play some Crash Bandicoot on mute, but he said even the controller was too noisy for him and suggested I read. I didn’t feel like reading and felt like it was unfair that when he is sick he takes over the communal area when he could easily go upstairs and rest in bed so that I was still able to use the living space.

We have had a version of this conversation multiple times but every time he just tells me I am uncaring and selfish as ‘When someone’s sick, you’re supposed to do whatever will make them feel better’.

When I’m sick, I happily isolate myself in the bedroom to watch TV on my laptop or read and fall in and out of sleep.

I don’t ask for much and just get on with things until I’m better. This is also what would happen in my family home when I was a kid: the sick person gets their rest and recovery in a quiet room and the rest of the house goes about their day as normal (whilst of course still offering the sick person any help they might need).

This isn’t to say I think sick people should be exiled from communal areas, but even if I DID use a living area whilst sick, I certainly wouldn’t think it gave me the right to decide what could and could not go on in it.

I don’t know anyone else who thinks it’s appropriate to turn a living area into some kind of silent retreat when they’re tired or sick. My partner has said in the past that because he frequently sleeps poorly, he finds it triggering to go to bed when feeling sick as it’s not a place he associates with restfulness.

I can kind of understand this but also just feel it’s a little unfair I’m made to feel so heartless for not wanting to do what I usually end up doing which is going up to the bedroom myself since I’m not allowed to make any noise in the living room!

AITJ?”

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LizzieTX 5 months ago
NTJ. Your partner is a narcissistic jerk and wants to literally be the center of attention at all times, as well as the most important person in the house. It's clear he doesn't give a rat's behind about your comfort, your wishes or your needs; those are not his concern. I think you need to dump him and find a place to live where it's all yours, where you pay the bills and make the choices, and then maybe invite some special person to share your space on your terms. What you're doing is no way to live. Good luck.
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27. AITJ For Not Giving My Chatty Mother Any More Updates About My Pregnancy?

“I’m a very private introverted person and since I got pregnant I don’t feel like my single mother has respected my wishes NOT to announce any details of our pregnancy. I have career, health, and privacy reasons for wanting to wait a while before the world knows.

But she has said things like ‘This is as much my baby as it is yours’ and ‘Like it or not we (my family) are a part of this baby’s journey too’. Often implying that I am being selfish for not letting her tell everybody.

She even wants to move in with us to be closer to the child when it’s born, we only live 20 minutes away from her. It’s at the point where we are looking at moving a few towns away for some privacy and some space from her.

So far she has accidentally let slip clues to our pregnancy which has led to at least 4 relatives knowing. This might seem harmless because it’s ‘family’, but it bothered me a lot. Every time we see her, she lectures us again on not letting her spread the news.

Because I feel my wishes are not being respected, I feel inclined to hold back updates on the pregnancy now, I just don’t enjoy talking to her about it, knowing there’s a chance she could let it slip. Today my mother asked if she could be present when I found out the baby’s gender, and I said no. I explained this was because at the time, only one person was allowed in the room and that spot obviously went to my fiancé/father of the child.

Irritated, she then said ‘Well I want to know immediately’. Because I don’t feel my privacy, wishes, or boundaries have been respected so far, I made a remark, probably in an unnecessarily harsh tone, that ‘I’m not telling you anything any more because you can’t keep things to yourself’.

She angrily yelled (and I mean screaming at the top of her lungs) ‘I’m getting sick of your attitude! If you’re not going to include us in all this then don’t expect our support when the baby is here!’

I stood up and walked to my car, saying on my way out ‘If we want the details of our pregnancy kept private we have every right to.

And if that costs your ‘support’ then so be it! I never asked for it and don’t want it! I want to move away to get away from your selfishness!’ And drove off.

She hasn’t spoken to me since, but my sister has said she was very ‘upset and hurt’ by what I said.

Should I apologize? Am I the jerk? Was I being too harsh?”

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LizzieTX 5 months ago
You are NOT the jerk, your mother is a heinous harpy who has no respect for either your wishes or your boundaries. I would be behaving exactly as you are, in your shoes. That baby belongs to you and your husband and is NOT her child, no matter what she wants to believe. I'm so sorry you have a self centered b!tch like yours for a mother. Believe me, I know exactly how that feels. Good luck.
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26. AITJ For Quitting On The Spot?

“I’ve worked as a cook for a small restaurant for the last few years and despite a brief sabbatical, I rejoined the staff and have been working there again. Last week the front-of-house manager announced he was leaving and would be replaced by a new guy, ‘Don.’ Owners assure us that Don is not looking to turn the entire operation upside down and that no one should worry about their jobs.

Don is NOT the back-of-house manager, that remains ‘Johnny.’ (A nice, competent guy, and a friend of mine.)

Don is pretty sketchy. He constantly talks about disgusting stuff and tries to sell illegal substances to some of us in the kitchen. I’m disappointed in the change, but I figure Don isn’t my boss, I can ignore him.

Last night Don texted me to ask if I could cover a shift today because ‘There have been some changes at (RESTAURANT).’ I’m wary because Don shouldn’t be handling BoH staffing but say sure, and ask what he means by changes. He tells me that Johnny and another employee have been fired for ‘bad attitudes,’ ‘being unsanitary,’ and ‘lowering morale.’ (These are the only two nonwhite employees which is setting off alarm bells in my head.)

I am legit confused at this point because we literally JUST had a meeting where we were told that no staff restructuring was imminent, and what’s more, Johnny has been isolated at home for being sick for several days so I can’t see how he could have even done something to get fired. I ask who the new BoH manager is and Don says it’s him.

I tell Don my normal availability and end the conversation.

I immediately call Johnny to tell him that I’m sorry he was fired and to see how he’s doing. I said ‘I just heard what happened, I’m really sorry man.’ and he said ‘What are you talking about?

That I am sick?’ Don hasn’t told Johnny he’s fired yet. I freak out. I send Johnny screenshots of Don’s texts, and text Don to demand an explanation of why he would tell me that someone was fired before he told them. Don didn’t respond for an hour, and only to say ‘No worries, I thought owners had already told him.

Weird that they didn’t.’ No apology, no effort to take responsibility.

I called the owners to tell them that I find Don’s behavior wildly unprofessional and that between his crude comments, dealing of illegal substances, indiscretion, and disregard for how his unprofessionalism impacts his workers I don’t see how I can work with him.

I also told them that the decision to fire the only two nonwhite employees for very nebulous reasons is one that I can’t support and do not agree with. They say that I’m being rash and that if I leave they won’t have enough staff to cover all the shifts.

They say they’ll talk to Don about his unprofessionalism but that the firings stand and Don will be taking over as BoH manager. If I leave, they really will be too short-handed to stay open every shift all week, and therefore the bartenders and other employees whom I don’t have a problem with will miss out on pay, AITJ for deciding to quit on the spot?”

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LizzieTX 5 months ago
Not your problem, not your circus, not your monkeys. Owners made their choices, Don delivered said choices, and now that those choices have resulted in the restaurant being short staffed, they're wanting YOU to compromise? Ummm, NO.
Actions have consequences. Owners approved Don's actions, you don't, you quit, they're in a world of hurt. Sucks to be them.
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25. AITJ For Not Telling My Brother About Our Stepmother's Passing?

“So my brother is a jerk for a lot of reasons which I can’t explain as it is just too long and spans about 15 years of crap. But it is important to know that for the story.

So my stepmum came into my life before I was 2, my brother was 4, and married my dad when I was 3.

In the early days, she was the mother figure, my mum married an abusive heavy drinker. So while we lived with our mum mostly she wasn’t available to us, well me especially. But our stepmum was, she was amazing. My mum left her husband when I was 13 after I ran away and moved in with my dad and stepmum.

I was not a great teen, dealing with depression, etc. My brother stayed with our bio mum but still visited Dad’s house, but it became infrequent. Then he only came around on special occasions, then about 4.5 years ago he cut that side of the family off completely.

1.8 years ago my stepmum got cancer, terminal. I called to tell him, video-called. He shrugged, said ok, then hung up. Since then my stepmum and dad have both made it very very clear that he wasn’t to know when she passed and under no circumstances was he to be at the funeral. On the 26th of Jan, she was admitted to the hospital, and she passed 5 days later.

I wanted to call my brother but decided not to, it was talked about in the hospital and she and Dad were still very sure he was not to be called or told anything. I respected their wishes and didn’t call him.

I have since received messages from his wife basically calling me a jerk and being told by other people that I’ve hurt my brother, what I did was unforgivable, etc.

So AITJ?”

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LizzieTX 5 months ago
Actions have consequences. Your brother's actions caused your father and your stepmom to decree that he was not to be told of your stepmom's passing. End of story. You complied with your father and stepmom's wishes. How is it your fault that @$$hole brother wasn't informed?
Nope, brother needs to own his actions and suck it up. You did nothing wrong.
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24. AITJ For Not Getting A Second Gown For My Cousin's Wedding?

“I am a 29-year-old woman and am one out of 26 grandchildren, more than half of which are female. One of my cousins (26f) is getting married next month. It is a black tie affair and everyone has been asked to wear floor-length gowns.

Anyway, I am in law school, and we have an event coming up called the Barrister’s Ball. It is essentially a law school prom. The BB is a HUGE deal and everyone gets glammed up over the top. The BB is the weekend before the wedding, so I bought a floor-length gold satin gown.

I figured I’d wear it to the BB, get it dry-cleaned, and wear it to the wedding the next week. It was a splurge for me to buy the gown as I am a student right now, but I figured it was worth it since I’d be wearing it two weeks in a row for two separate events.

It is low cut and backless, but still classy. Kind of an old Hollywood feel.

I was out at brunch yesterday with two of my cousins, my brother’s partner, and my grandma. My grandma asked to see a picture of the gown. She and one of my cousins expressed concern that I would ‘upstage the bride’ and that I should buy a second gown for the wedding.

Everyone else showed their gowns and they were black, but nothing different formality-wise than what I was wearing. My other cousin has a low-cut gown with a side leg slit which was equally provocative as mine. My grandma said it’s because I’m already beautiful and I don’t need ‘that much.’ But the BB is a huge event—most of these girls’ parents are rich and are buying them designer gowns.

I love my gown and I want to stick out for the Ball. It’s not white, it’s floor length, and to be honest I feel that if I were considered ‘attractive’ I wouldn’t be getting crap about it. I don’t have the budget to buy a second dress and I want to wear this gown to the Ball.

AITJ?”

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LizzieTX 5 months ago
NTJ. You are wearing, as requested, a floor length gown. If someone else wants input as to what style and color that floor length gown should be, they can bloody well pay for it. My gods, ENOUGH!
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23. AITJ For Wanting My Husband To Tell Me What Time He'll Be Home?

“My (28f) husband (41m) is really bad with time management. I have known this for a long time and can cope well most of the time, but recently it’s making me sick.

I’m a student teacher at a high school. This means that I teach my own classes (about half the lessons that a normal teacher has to do), have all the other duties a teacher has, and have to attend a class one day a week.

It’s pretty time-consuming, I have 5 exams coming up and have to submit 30 pages of lesson plans every other week. As many of you know, teaching is a tough job (although not as bad as in the US). You see, I’m pretty tired sometimes.

My husband works part-time. Even as a student teacher, I’m the main provider, since his job is low-paying. Right now I’m on school holidays. That means I have to prepare lessons, study for an upcoming exam, and clean the apartment (since I’m too busy during school times), all while caring for my 7-year-old (not his child, but he has agreed to do his part as a step parent, my boys are usually great with each other).

To the issue: my husband promised that he would have Wednesday and Thursday free this week, where he would go to the playground with my son so that I could study without distraction. On Wednesday, his colleague called that he was sick, so my husband had to cover his shifts.

He promised that he would only work until 2 p.m. on Thursday to give me time to study. 2 p.m. arrived and went, no husband in sight. I was getting nervous, I needed all the time I could get for studying. He wouldn’t answer his phone.

Long story short, he let us wait for 6 hours. No message, no call, nothing.

When he came home, I was MAD. Not because he was late, but because he didn’t even consider it necessary to give me a short call. If I had known that he would come so late I would have made other arrangements.

I screamed (not proud of it) and told him to sleep on the couch because I didn’t want to share a bed with him that night.

Did I overreact, considering that he wasn’t at a bar or anything but stuck at work? I’m feeling mixed, I’m still mad because I’m now behind on studying, but I also feel bad.”

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LizzieTX 5 months ago
Your husband doesn't sound responsible enough to be married. I'd be rethinking my relationship with him, in your shoes.
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22. AITJ For Telling My Coworker I Don't Work For Her?

“So I work for a company that has a small surplus of our products on-site to sell when customers forget to add something to their large order, I previously helped the former coworkers in charge of this because one was elderly, the other was pregnant, they have since left and the new replacement has been heavily relying on my team to help move warehouse items.

This only became an issue recently because I was just given a promotion at my job, I essentially told my boss I wanted a senior title and a pay raise for the amount of work I’m doing and we discussed my future at the company.

We basically agreed that I would stay for a while, hire new staff, and build out my department as I see fit, and so long as we have a visible increase in revenue that I can prove is directly related to my department, I can basically do whatever I want.

All this set up to the incident. We have a new product we have been trying to roll out for about 5 years at this point but have only really made progress in the past 4 months. My boss has been adamant that since I’ve decided to take this initiative to ask for a senior position I should head the project.

I have a team of 2 under me and if I’m honest I’m struggling because there is a lot to do and not a lot of time.

Well, my team had to have a photoshoot for content and we had to do this during a truck day.

So the whole time we are in our studio we have Jessica coming in and out of our studio, ruining the lighting of some of our photos, not a huge problem because it’s easy enough to reshoot but frustrating. Jessica keeps coming in and asking me or one of my team to help her pull products.

After this happened for like the 5th time I tried to politely tell her ‘Jessica I understand you need a bit of help but I need them here right now, you’ll have to do this alone for a bit, we have to finish this’. She responded with some comment that my boss won’t be happy if we lose sales because we are ‘messing around’ in the studio.

I told her ‘We won’t be losing sales, you’ll be dealing with it.’ Well, she slammed the door to the studio and left, we finished up the shoot about 2 hours later and as we were packing up and going back to my office I came to talk to her to see if I could smooth things over.

She ended up telling me that we need to listen to her when she tells us to do something.

And this is where I might be the jerk: I told her ‘I don’t work for you and neither does my team, my workers report to me and I only answer to (CEO) and (CFO) and if you need help it is by our kindness that we come to help you and I’m certain that (CEO) is much more concerned that we get this new product to market than worrying about a 30$ jug of (product)’.

She hasn’t spoken to me since and did talk to my boss (CEO) about it and when he talked to me he told me that I didn’t say anything incorrect so I’m not in trouble but that we should be trying to play nice with everyone here.

I don’t disagree however I also feel like I wasn’t in the wrong here, but maybe I was?”

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LizzieTX 5 months ago
NTJ. She has her job, you have yours. You do not work for her, neither does your team. If she needs extra help doing HER job, she needs to apply to her superior and get it, not requisition your group to pick up HER slack. You are not in the wrong here.
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21. AITJ For No Longer Helping My Little Brother With His Will?

“I (22) have a little brother (19). He had to repeat several years of high school due to the global crisis and generally not being a ‘good’ student.

I on the other hand have a scholarship and just finished my master’s thesis. I just caved into my mother’s pressure to succeed academically and skipped out on all the fun stuff that you’re supposed to do in your teens/twenties. My brother and I have the same potential.

Throughout our life, I’ve always had to help my little brother, write or proofread his e-mails, proofread his flashcards, create e-mail accounts for him, study with him, and even draw his art projects (that counted towards his final grade) for him, etc.

My brother was supposed to write his will 6 months ago (the reasons are complicated to explain but valid).

It’s just two lines and his signature. He’s been putting it off though and my grandparents are understandably upset with him that he hasn’t done it. They tried to get my mother to make him do it, but she hasn’t said anything.

I no longer live at home, am self-sufficient, and see my brother about once a month. My grandparents just called me to ask me to get my brother & mother to finally do that stuff.

I called my mother to let her know that my grandparents were upset and that they should just google the two lines and make my brother copy them.

She told me that she wasn’t going to do it, rather I should help my brother and do it together with him. I said no, I rarely see him and that it’s not my responsibility, plus he’s 19, he should be able to do it himself.

She then called me aggressive and said that she didn’t want to see me in the near future. I just got a call from her that ‘this is not how things are going to work around here’ and that she wants to talk about my behavior.

I called my brother (because he honestly doesn’t care about drama) and asked him what that was about. He told me that my mother was upset that I disobeyed her and was overly aggressive towards her.

I think this stems from me being a shy student and never once disobeying her as a teen, but now I fear that I have made a mistake and I should have just done what she asked me to do and sucked it up.

AITJ for no longer wanting to help him?”

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anma7 5 months ago
NTJ... come on your 22, don't live with her and if brother is too lazy to copy the 2 lines needed then that's on him.. be honest woth grandparents and tell them that you tried to speak to mother but she claims you were aggressive when you told her that he could copy the 2 lines needed on google and copy them but she is demanding YOU go over amd doit for him...
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20. AITJ For Calling My Cousins Jerks For Standing Our Grandma Up?

“I (22F) have just gotten into a very intense argument with my three cousins (24F, 25F, 26F). For context, my entire family hasn’t heard from or talked to them since I was 11. They ghosted everyone including my grandparents.

But this was after my grandparents practically raised them because my aunt (their mom) is a raging drinking addict. One cousin even went as far as not inviting them to their wedding.

My grandmother suffers from early Alzheimer’s. My grandfather was sent to the hospital at the beginning of February, they never visited or even asked about him.

Me, my sister and other cousin + our parents have been taking care of our grandmother since he went in.

Unfortunately last Tuesday my grandfather passed away, we had the funeral this past Saturday. They all show up to pay their respects but this isn’t the problem.

The issue happened after the funeral when my cousins all promised her and swore up and down they would go visit her on Sunday and spend time with her because they all felt bad for not keeping in touch.

Sunday rolled around, my grandmother canceled all plans in preparation for when the cousins showed up.

They never did and never even bothered calling her. She was heartbroken and her exact words were ‘I really fell for it and believed they were going to come.’ I got upset because my grandmother was very vulnerable at this time and I believed what my cousins did was wrong.

So sent them all a long text basically telling them how they are jerks for standing our grandmother up in a time like this where she needed you guys and ghosted her by not saying anything. (But more cursing and caps lock on).

My one cousin was going back and forth with me for a while calling me childish for coming at them the way I did and sent a screenshot of my initial message and sent it to my parents asking them to address it.

Now my parents don’t agree with everything I said but agree that what they did was wrong and they think I should apologize. I don’t want to apologize because I was truthfully just looking out for my grandmother who just lost her husband.

AITJ?”

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anma7 5 months ago
NTJ... so what youndo is send a text saying....
I am sorry that I text you about the horrific way you stood grandma up on Sunday causing her to cancel her plans in anticipation of your visit..... I am also sorry that I texted you all as ADULTS when i now realise what i should have done is text your parents instead to deal with you they way you did mine

Then block them all.... and tell parents you have apologised to them for trying to address them as the adults they are meant to be
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19. AITJ For How I Told My Father-In-Law About My Wife's Pregnancy?

“I’ve been married to my wife for 4 years. She has had a kinda troubled family life regarding her father.

He ran out on her and her mother for another woman shortly after she was born and they were estranged until just before our wedding. I am very close with her mother and she loves me but her father hates my guts. I’ve never had anyone in my life hate me as much as he does.

He’s one of those old-school macho guys and one of the things he questions about me is my masculinity. When he first met me he told me my job (software engineering) was a ‘Nancy job’ and a real man worked with his hands and I wouldn’t be able to provide for his daughter (ironic and LOL).

I’m also not really a traditionally masculine man. The most masculine thing I do is lift weights. I paint my nails, style my hair, care about fashion, and do other traditionally feminine things. He constantly mocks me for it and accuses me of being gay.

My wife wants me to just put up with it, and I want her to have a relationship with her father so I just do, but I’ve been dealing with this for almost 5 years and it’s exhausting and embarrassing.

2 months ago we found out she is pregnant and we are both very excited. We already told her mother and stepdad who took the news great.

Last weekend we met with her father to tell him, I of course was dreading this, and there was no way for this to go well.

So prior to dinner, something was up with the TV and he asked me to fix it. I tried but couldn’t figure it out.

He then went on about how a real man fixes things and ‘What am I going to do when things break around the house?’ and told me I’m not man enough for his daughter.

At this point, I had enough. I snapped. I told him that I was ‘man enough to put a baby in your daughter, and unlike you, I’m not going to leave them.’ He exploded and cursed me out telling me how awful I was, how my wife needed to leave me, and how she made a mistake marrying me.

There was a huge argument that my wife had to break up and we left shortly after.

She was very upset with me. She told me I ruined the night and now she can never have this moment back again because I shot out of my mouth.

She said it was juvenile of me to respond in the way I did, and that I made her tenuous relationship with her dad even worse now and it’s all my fault and I need to apologize.

I honestly feel like this isn’t my fault at all and it’s all on him.

I wanted an apology.

AITJ?”

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LizzieTX 5 months ago
NTJ. Your wife's sperm donor obviously is jealous as he!! of you and will never approve of you no matter what you do or say. She needs to realize this, and she needs to pick whose side she's on; yours and your child's, or her father's, because she can't have both. I wish you good luck.
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18. AITJ For Pointing Out To My Brother-In-Law That He's Living With Us For Free?

“My (35m) wife’s (38f) brother ‘Ian’ (44m) lost his job about 6 months ago. When his lease was up in February he asked if he could stay with us ‘temporarily’. My wife and I agreed he could until he found a job.

Things were fine at first, but then he just started giving his opinion on EVERYTHING. He asked if we could be quieter at night after 10 since we wake him up when we go to bed. It seemed like he was telling us when to go to bed.

He makes requests for dinner daily like we’re his personal chef. I told him to make himself at home and he’s more than welcome to use the kitchen. He said he doesn’t know how to cook.

He asked us to get a different detergent because ‘ours makes him itchy’.

I told my wife he could buy his own detergent, he must have some money because he goes out with his buddies on Friday night. I could go on and on about his opinions.

Things got worse and Ian acts like this is his house/he’s in charge.

I was watching TV the other day and he came in the living room and said he wanted to watch the baseball game. I said, ‘Doesn’t the TV in the guest room work?’ He said, ‘Yeah but I like this one better.’ I kept my show on and he stood there for a few minutes like he expected me to turn my show off, then went back in his room.

I have my daughter (12) this weekend (not my wife’s daughter). Yesterday my daughter asked us if her friend could come over today and my wife and I said yes. Her friend was dropped off at like 11. They’re basically watching TV/playing video games, not being loud or obnoxious or anything.

Well, Ian walked into the living room and asked her friend who she was, and her friend said her name. Ian looked at me and asked to ‘speak in private’. We went into my office and he said ‘It’d be nice if you cleared it with me before letting some random kids come over’.

I said ‘First of all she’s my daughter’s friend, second of all I don’t need your permission, it’s our house.’ He said ‘Well I live here too and I don’t want kids I don’t know running around’. I said ‘You live here for FREE.

You can have an opinion when you start paying bills’.

He went and talked to my wife after our conversation and then left. My wife said she knows his ‘outspoken nature’ gets on my nerves but it was rude to throw not working/being unable to pay bills in his face like that and now he feels unwelcome.

Honestly good he should feel unwelcome maybe then he’ll get a job. Every time I tell him about a place hiring he says ‘That’s beneath me’ or ‘I’m too smart to work there’. A job is a job.

AITJ?”

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KayeItsMe 5 months ago
NTJ Your wife needs to realize that her brother is an entitled freeloader. You are doing him a huge favor, but he's demanding things and trying to set rules. That's not how it works. Start keeping lists - what he costs you, times he interferes, and the jobs he could get if his inflated ego didn't get in the way. Show your wife periodically so she knows what he does. He may be giving her a different view of everything.
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17. AITJ For Returning The Shoes I Bought For My Husband?

“My (29) husband (36) is the breadwinner of the family.

I stay home with the kids who are preschool-age. He pays for the mortgage, bills, household needs, food, kids’ needs… etc. He has set a monthly budget for each category and handles getting everything done. Recently, he has become overwhelmed and told me to handle grocery shopping but before he let me, he asked me to write a list of all the stuff we need so he could calculate the total and also so he’d have an idea of how much I’ll be spending when I take his credit card.

I didn’t have an issue with that because this way we’d watch our spending habits. However, he said I’m never allowed to get something that isn’t on the list unless I’m paying for it some other way.

On Friday I was doing some grocery shopping as usual and saw that the store had some nice shoes on sale.

The price was insanely low for this brand so I decided to grab a pair for my husband thinking he’d be happy with them since he needed new sneakers anyway. I bought them and when I showed them to him he flipped out on me saying I made a huge mistake to buy something that was not on the list. I agreed with him but I thought that since the shoes were for him then it’d be different, he said I screwed up and shouldn’t have bought those sneakers without even telling him.

But in my defense, I said that the price was low so it’s not like I spent $100 on shoes, and also I saw this as a great deal and wanted him to have those nice sneakers. He plainly said that what I did is considered ‘stealing’ since he never consented to have those sneakers purchased and said that I’m being irresponsible with finances which is why I no longer have an income and my spending habits need a ‘grip’.

I felt hurt by what he said. We argued about it for hours and he avoided speaking to me the rest of the day.

The next day I went and returned the sneakers and took the money back. He got home in the evening and lost it when he found out I returned them.

He said he couldn’t believe how petty and childish I was to actually do this. I explained I was just correcting my ‘mistake’. He tried to contact the store and was told the sneakers were already sold. He got even angrier with me but I told him that he accused me of stealing from him when I was just trying to make a nice gesture for him.

He yelled that I had a lot of nerve calling what I did a ‘nice gesture’ while using his money to do it. I told him he had no right to yell at me after I corrected my ‘mistake’ and gave back the funds he accused me of stealing.

He threw a fit then went out with his friends and came home late at night still not talking to me.

Did I mess up? Maybe I shouldn’t have purchased them knowing they weren’t on the list but I just wanted him to have those sneakers and thought I was doing a nice gesture.”

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MadameZ 5 months ago
Get some legal advice about what would happen if you divorced this man. He is controlling and financially abusive. He thinks you are his servant, not his partner. I just *know* that it was more his decision than yours that you become a full-time parent, so you have to be grateful and obedient. You don't necessarily have to leave him, but it's good to know what your legal position would be if you did... because abusive, controlling men very often lie about how you will be homeless and starving if you don't submit.
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16. WIBTJ If I Prioritize My Brother Over My Parents?

“My brother (now 29M) is gay and when he came out to our parents at 17 they treated him badly and a few months later he was kicked out of home.

He never came out to me (now 25M) and I was told by our parents he just ran away. For years I was treated as the golden child and my brother was treated badly, I recognize it now it stems from that and him being rebellious and me just being more studious and doing well.

A few years ago, he and I got back in touch through my cousin who actually never stopped having contact with him. Then he told me his side of the story: he had tried to contact me but our parents stopped that and told him I didn’t want to see him (a lie).

They told me when he was kicked out that he never wanted to see me again either. Anyway, we got back in touch and realized how our parents were manipulative to both of us, and I realized how differently they treated me and him. He has no contact with my parents and over the years I’ve gone a bit low contact with them.

Now, I’m going to get married in a few months to my fiancée (24F). I had invited both my parents and my brother to my wedding. My parents know I got in contact with him and at first they made a bit of a fuss but I told them I was an adult and it’s my life.

Then when I told my brother was going to be at my wedding they made an even bigger fuss but they said I’d made a wise decision about it. Now, last weekend we were talking with my parents about how the wedding organization was going, and then it came to light to them that 1) my brother is going to be my best man and 2) his partner is going to be there too as a plus one.

They got mad at me and said it would ruin the family’s reputation. Apparently, they thought I’d place my brother very far away from me or something, and ‘Of course I wouldn’t invite the last guy he sleeps with’. They started insisting on me to uninvite him, so I just walked out and my fiancée and I left.

I have been thinking about it and I prioritize my brother over my parents. So I told my parents that, unless they were okay with my brother being my best man and being there, they were uninvited to my wedding. Another screaming match ensues, telling me I am very selfish for being willing to deprive them of one of the best moments of their child’s life for ‘someone like him’.

Now, my fiancée, her family, and my brother support my decision, but I have been receiving a lot of messages and calls from my family (parents and uncles and such, except that cousin who kept in contact with my brother) saying I’m ungrateful and selfish and so on.

I am a bit torn because even some of my closest friends who I’ve told about the situation say I shouldn’t uninvite my parents because my parents have been supporting me through university and they’re helping with the wedding too (they’ve already told me if I uninvite them they’ll cut that money off) so I owe them that.

WIBTJ if I uninvite them?”

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LizzieTX 5 months ago
"Ungrateful" for what, exactly?
Your parents are homophobic @$$holes who are willing to discard their own child to keep their "reputation" from being sullied. Why on earth would you want to have people like that in attendance at the happiest event of your life?
Keep your brother as your best man, tell your awful parents that they are free to attend or not, but your brother and his plus 1 will be in attendance whether they like it or not. So they can either suck it up and enjoy a memorable day with both their sons, or they can stay home and suck rocks. Their choice. Gods bless you for having your brother with you on your special day.
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15. AITJ For Suing My Contractor?

“Just bought my first home and it was large enough that I could build a workshop as part of my home business and my full-time job. After searching around I found someone able to complete the job in time for us to move into the house.

The contractor shows up, checks out the existing space (had an old building in it that was middle of demolition where the new shop is going), says he can start it right away and I told him I’m aware of building codes needing to be followed due to the size of it.

The permit was in the process of being completed and he said no worries I know the codes. I thought great that makes things less worrisome for me (between packing, moving, and 1-hour commutes to and from work I didn’t have a lot of time free).

So it got done and things were winding down on time. I had to start getting a structure put up to protect and store some of the equipment I couldn’t bring into the house. I got the inspector in and he failed it due to it not meeting the code.

I’m given a list of the reasons and share it with the contractor who decides to blame me for not providing him the building code specs to which I responded by reminding him he never asked me for them. He then wanted to extort me for more funds to fix his mistake as he felt bad.

Only wanted to charge for the materials, not labor. I told him he messed up so I owe him nothing but he owes me instead. Walks off and never returns phone calls or emails to fix the situation.

Had enough and decided to take him to court for the max I’m allowed in court (35k) as I’ve lost funds and equipment from his mistake on top of having to pay someone else to come in and make a whole new foundation and then get a crane in to move the building as it was too far assembled for breaking down.

Court day comes and he doesn’t show up so the courts give him a month’s extension due to his excuse of his wife giving birth the night before. He sent a random friend in his place to settle out of court for it which was just a refund of what I paid him.

He has tried to make this offer multiple times since the first day of court directly to me instead of my lawyer which is a big no-no.

It’s coming up to 3 years now waiting for the new court date as the global crisis shut down the world before the second date.

The contractor is licensed and insured but according to my lawyer, his insurance provider laughed at him when he tried to make a claim. Up to last weekend, I’ve also seen him drive a shiny new truck and trailer around town as he lives down the street from me.

Hard not to miss his company logo plastered on the thing.”

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LizzieTX 5 months ago
NTJ, and nail his @$$ to the wall. Sick to the back teeth of contractors who think they can get away with doing a $h!tty job and skate on the consequences. MAKE. HIM. PAY. And none of this "I'll fix it if you let me in to do it". Umm, NO. You had your chance to do the job correctly and you botched it. Now I get to make you pay to get the job done correctly, so I don't have to. Sucks to be you.
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14. WIBTJ If I Don't Allow My Kid To Sleep Over At Their Grandparents' House Anymore?

“My husband Larry (38M) and I (34F) have 2 children together, Megan (8F) and Jessica (2F). Megan has level 3 Autism as well as ADHD and Oppositional Defiant Disorder and therefore has multiple behaviors that are a struggle for herself and others around her.

She struggles with lying and being manipulative as her intelligence is more like a 10-year-old while her social skills are more around that of a 4-5-year-old, so while she knows she is lying she doesn’t see why it should matter as long as she gets what she wants.

My parents Randall (68M) and Victoria (65F) have been very involved Grandparents from the very start of my pregnancy with Megan. They are very loving in most ways and I believe they only want the best for the girls.

Now here’s the issue:

1. Megan regresses in maturity and expects Randall and Victoria to treat her like she is 3-4 years old.

By this I mean, Megan acts like she can’t do ANYTHING for herself. This means cleaning up toys and messes, taking care of hygiene, eating vegetables, sleeping in her bed by herself, etc. Victoria enables this 100% while Randal gives some pushback consistently.

2. Megan struggles with personal space, boundaries, and acting like an animal. Victoria is a small woman and Megan regularly throws her full body weight against her, pulls on her arms, tries to sit in her lap or hold her hand, always hanging on her or nuzzling her like a dog.

Randall likes to aggressively pester and tries to wrestle around with Megan. Randall likes to request bites of her meals/drinks/snacks and makes her feel guilty if she says No.

3. They will invite Megan over about 2 times a month to spend the night for 1-2 nights.

They take her to do things like camping, hiking, etc. When Megan gets home her behavior is out of control and it can take her days to settle. Jessica gets the worst of it as Megan comes home physically aggressive and has hurt Jessica on multiple occasions.

Jessica does not spend the night.

4. We have done many rounds of ABA etc, for Megan and she is homeschooled with a semi-strict daily schedule. This schedule was made with therapists and has been the most help we have had so far in helping her control her more disruptive behaviors.

Randall and Victoria disapprove of our decision and think it would be better for Megan for her to go back to the public school system because ‘public school is what kids need, how will she ever learn to socialize’ and ‘They are diagnosing everyone with Autism now’.

They have refused to participate in any of the therapies or skills.

With all this said we have gotten tired of playing catchup constantly from these overnights and are wondering, WIBTJ if Larry and I stopped overnights completely and only allowed short and supervised day visits if Grandparents refuse to stop enabling these behaviors?

We feel obligated to allow them access since they have given us immense financial and general help and they really are attentive and loving grandparents otherwise.”

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KayeItsMe 5 months ago
How could you possibly be a jerk when you are doing what is best for your child? The grandparents think your daughter's
schedule is nonsense , they doubt the diagnosis, they behave in ways that exacerbate your daughter's condition, and life becomes harder for you and your daughter. If they can't treat her as she needs to be treated, do not leave your daughter with them. NTJ
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13. AITJ For Not Paying For Food I Didn't Order?

“I (30M) came home from work about a week ago to a small gathering of my roommates’s (33M) friends.

He was having some kind of get-together. There were around 5 maybe six people in my living room including my roommate. I came home to a relatively minor mess and a bunch of guys milling around and playing video games and drinking beer.

They asked me to join but I had just gotten off a long shift and retreated to my room where my lovely noise-canceling headphones await.

Around 40-50 minutes later my roommate lets himself into my room to inform me that the pizzas & wings are here. I asked him what he was talking about and he told me he ordered out and that I needed to go pay the delivery guy.

I asked him why I had to pay it and he told me that none of them had any cash on them. The dude was waiting on me.

I told him no, I had already eaten at work and I wasn’t going to pay for food for all his friends.

I asked him why would he order food and not have the money to pay for it.

He got offended and told me the order was in my name, so I had to pay for it.

I got heated back at him and asked him why he would order in my name.

He said because he expected I’d pay for it.

I refused.

He yelled at me, slammed my door, stomped his way to the pizza guy, and started arguing with him.

Now because it’s my home, I felt the need to mediate. It’s my home, my roommate moved in when I advertised a room for rent.

I saw the large stack of food in the guy’s hands and asked him what the damage was.

The order was close to $100.00!

He had ordered 3 XL pizzas, 40P wings, and breadsticks.

I asked my roommate if he was nuts, and told him I didn’t order this.

It’s not my problem. He can fix it.

Long story short, the delivery guy took the order back and my house got put on the no-delivery list for that particular pizza place.

His friends called us both jerks and quickly left when the food wasn’t brought inside.

His friends are now mad at him and won’t come back over any time soon.

He’s mad at me for being a cheapskate and I quote ‘a little jerk’.

For the past week, the majority of the people around me have called me a jerk for not paying for it.

Even though they know I wasn’t the one to order it or even ask for it to be ordered.

So, AITJ for not dropping close to $100.00 on food I didn’t order?”

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MadameZ 5 months ago
NTJ and think about getting rid of that roommate. What is your actual rental agreement - do you pool food costs in general? If not, then someone who feels entitled enough to make you pay for his food and that of your friends is likely to come up with all sorts of justification for not paying you rent or his share of bills, either.
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12. AITJ For Not Attending My Stepsister's Graduation Party?

“I (18m) just graduated grade 12 this year. My younger stepsister (12f) just graduated grade 7.

My dad and stepmom came to my grad commencement but they left almost immediately after it was done. I hardly got to see them after, it was just a quick hi and they left. Today my dad phoned and asked me if I wanted to come to my stepsister’s graduation party (it’s tomorrow) and it felt like a slap in the face.

Like I get that graduating grade 7 is a big accomplishment but they did nothing for me. I wasn’t even expecting anything big, at least a ‘good job’ or something but they left so quickly after my commencement that it felt like they didn’t want to be there in the first place.

I guess I felt like I was treated unfairly because my stepsister graduated grade 7 and they threw a party for her and I graduated grade 12 and they barely interacted with me about it.

They’ve always put her before me and I get it for the most part.

She’s 12 and I’m 18 so, of course, they’re going to spend more time with her but they don’t spend any of their time on me. They never have. When I was younger and I’d go over to their place, they’d sit in their room and watch TV and make me look after my stepsister.

And to be completely honest my stepsister and I don’t have the greatest relationship. She’s the type of kid who throws tantrums when she doesn’t get her way and has to get presents at another kid’s birthday party.

I know that sounds harsh but it always happened on my birthdays.

And the one time it didn’t I had to give her 3 of my presents. I know that if I go I’m going to be in a bad mood and that’s probably going to ruin the party and I don’t want to ruin it for her so I declined to go.

Around 30 minutes ago my stepmom blew up my phone with texts, calling me a selfish jerk for not going and now I’m thinking I should just suck it up and go. I asked my mom and stepdad for a second opinion but they said they want to stay out of it.

So AITJ for not going to her party?

Editing to add: Her graduating grade 7 is a big deal because, where I live, it’s the end of elementary school, and now she’s going to high school. There’s no middle school where I live.”

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LizzieTX 5 months ago (Edited)
NTJ, and I think you are giving your parents the treatment they deserve, after they've clearly favored your sister all of her life.
I"m so sorry, but I think it's time you realize that your sister will always be "the golden child" and that she will be favored over you, and there's nothing you can do to change that. The best thing you can do is save up, move out and stop expecting any kind of love or good treatment from your family. It sucks, but it's best to be realistic in these situations rather than reactive.
Best of luck, and congratulations on your graduation.
Oh, and a 7th grade graduation means d!ck; your high school graduation is a much bigger deal and it sucks that your parents don't recognize that.
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11. AITJ For Not Hiring My Best Friend's Partner?

“I (24f) have my own small business (a store) after saving for years, making sure my credit was good, using the inheritance my childless uncle left me, and getting a business loan.

My best friend (25f) (we’ll call her Jen) and I have been friends since high school but our friendship has dwindled a little since she started going out with her partner, Charlotte. I don’t believe their relationship is a very healthy one as they never do anything without the other present.

They don’t spend time with anyone without the other one there, and Jen’s social life has taken a massive hit as they spend all day at Jen’s parents’ house (where they live) smoking together and not doing anything else (they are both unemployed).

Even though my store is small, I can’t run it all by myself and I had been thinking of hiring one or two people to help. I approached Jen because I know she’s unemployed and has expressed wanting to find a job. I told her I couldn’t pay her much in the beginning while the business was still finding its feet, but I would negotiate something with her the second I had the money.

I also asked if she did accept the job, that she wouldn’t come to work on substances. She agreed.

At first, it was great, it finally felt like I was getting my best friend back and we’re at the point where I can pay Jen a good wage.

However, in the past couple of weeks, Charlotte has started showing up at the store and staying for hours to talk to Jen. I tried to ignore it, but her presence has started distracting Jen and I’ve seen her ignore customers waiting to be served because she’s talking to Charlotte.

I finally got Jen alone and asked her if she could speak to Charlotte about not coming to the store as much as I got a complaint from a customer about Jen’s customer service. Jen laughed me off as if I wasn’t serious and then told me ‘Hey, you should hire Charlotte maybe.’ I had expressed wanting to hire another person in the future when I could afford to, but after what I’ve seen there’s no way I’d ever hire Charlotte.

I told Jen I didn’t think that was a good idea and Jen got all defensive, demanding to know why. So I told her ‘Because I’d be paying you guys just to stand around and talk to each other all day.’ Jen got really mad at me and called me a few names (including ‘a trashy friend’) before storming out of the store before her shift had ended and she hasn’t come in for work since.

Yesterday I messaged her asking if she still wanted the job because she hasn’t shown up for a shift in 5 days and I’m very swamped with work. If she had quit, then I need to know so I can hire somebody else to replace her.

She and Charlotte then immediately blew up my phone accusing me of firing Jen, that I was an awful person for not doing Jen a favor by hiring Charlotte, and that Charlotte really needed a job because they were saving up for a place together.

I haven’t answered either of them and, to be honest, I feel awful about the situation and if I’ve really made the right call here. AITJ?”

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MadameZ 5 months ago
NTJ. If you are paying people to work for you, they are there to work, not hang out with their partners. When you have a small, new business you need staff you can trust, not lazy moochers. Hiring friends is often not the best idea and this is why.
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10. AITJ For Refusing To Get Another Lunch For My Stepdaughter?

“I have a 16-year-old son ‘Brennan’ who works at a pretty high-end summer camp during the summer and he was able to get a discount for my stepdaughter ‘Anna’ (9) to go there.

Usually, the program costs on the ups of $10k but with discounts from my son’s employment it was around $6k. I covered $3k of it and my stepdaughter’s maternal grandmother covered the rest. My son is the leader of my stepdaughter’s group (per her request because she was shy and wanted to know someone).

She gets home around 12:30 pm every day, right around lunchtime BUT the camp feeds the kids prior to them coming home and it’s not just sandwiches. It’s full meals. Like on Friday they had a whole Thanksgiving feast and today corn on the cob, hamburgers, hot dogs, pulled pork, pasta salad, and coleslaw.

It’s buffet style and the kids are able to eat their fill and aren’t just limited to one thing or another.

I left the house around 12:15 to go get myself lunch and got back around 12:40ish. When I got home Anna saw that I had a steak and cheese and asked where hers was.

I asked her if she had eaten at camp and she said ‘Yes, but I didn’t like it’. My son at this point said ‘She devoured 3 hamburgers, a pulled pork sandwich, and had two bowls of pasta salad.’ My stepdaughter then says ‘Yeah but I didn’t like it’.

Please keep in mind that their lunch time is right before camp lets out for the day so she had just eaten and it hadn’t even fully settled.

Long story short, I told my husband (on the phone) that Anna is claiming to still be hungry and told him what my son said she ate (they have to mark off exactly what the kids eat during the day in case anyone gets sick, etc) and he’s like ‘Well you could go get her a steak and cheese.’ I said no. I wasn’t going back out to get her food, especially after the portion she ate at camp, and said she was going to get sick from overeating.

He picks a fight, saying she must be going through a growth spurt and he was in the middle of something at the moment with work. I told Anna she was welcome to make herself PBJ but made it clear I wasn’t going back out.

She stomps off to her room and slams the door.

Anyways, my husband thinks I’m a jerk, saying I’m being ignorant over food and treating the situation like I think his daughter is a ‘pig.'”

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LizzieTX 5 months ago
NTJ and if she's "hungry" after eating everything you know she did, I'd wager she's in the beginning stages of an eating disorder and is bingeing and purging. Or take her to a doctor and see if there's a physiological problem that she is eating far more than normal for a nine year old. But get to the bottom of it quickly, and make your husband go to the appointment with you and his daughter, so a doctor can tell him what's going on.
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9. AITJ For Making My Sister Pay For The Funko Pops Her Kids Destroyed?

“Recently my sister (38) needed an emergency stay at my place with her and her 4 kids (12f, 9f, 6m, 4m) (also a cat). My partner (26) and I (27), along with a small dog and two cats, rent a spacious house.

We are childfree and have expensive hobbies (violins, piano, guitars, painting) along with my collection of items specifically Funko Pops.

Since the visit was so sudden and I haven’t watched children in a long while I was ill-prepared. I caught the 3 younger ones in our hobby room as I heard the strum of guitars.

Luckily I can lock that room.

After two weeks they left. My partner and I took a day to just rest from the exhaustion of watching 4 kids along with keeping our animals’ stress levels down.

I noticed the next day cleaning the room the kids were staying in they had hidden open boxes of pops in the corner behind blankets along with food.

As I was looking under furniture they managed to snag a bottle of ink I had from the hobby room (luckily they couldn’t open it. It would have been a disaster). One of the Pops they destroyed was sadly a limited edition one (Black Lady from Sailor Moon) and the cheapest I could find was $140…

I called my sister and sent her pictures and she was livid. She said she would reimburse me for the Pops and I did let her know some were pricey. So far the cost to replace just the pops is about $355, there was other damage which now brings it up to $500.

My other siblings sympathize with me but think it might be messed up to have her pay since she isn’t well off.

She’s going through a divorce and money is tight for her… I on the other have a well-paying job. Even with replacements I still feel betrayed and violated.

So AITJ for making my sister pay for the damage her kids caused staying at my place?”

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LizzieTX 5 months ago
NTJ. If she was so foolish as to allow her spawn to roam in your house unsupervised, she absolutely needs to replace the items spawn stole/ruined. Not your fault spawn chose a couple of the expensive editions to ruin - mom still needs to pay. I think an installment plan is a good idea, but make sure you don't let it go after a couple of payments. Wow. Entitled much? I'd not be nearly as nice as you are.
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8. AITJ For Kicking My Ex Out Of My House?

“I’d gone out with this girl for about 4.5 years when she decided that she wanted to take a break for an indefinite amount of time. We met online via an app and we weren’t looking for a long-term relationship.

Well, that turned into being actual friends and in time we decided we wanted to go exclusive.

About 1.5 (end of 2019) years in I had saved up enough funds for a down payment on a house and decided to make a leap and buy a house as renting fiscally made no sense.

Thinking at the time there was no end in sight to our relationship I asked her if she wanted to put her name on the house so we could do it together. She outright said no she didn’t want to, then cited her credit, the interest rate, etc. Okay well, I purchased a house on my credit with a loan solely in my name.

We kinda ended up on opposite schedules most of the time. I would be in the weeks she was required to be on. So be it we cherished the weekends together when we got them.

Over the second year of the global crisis, there was definitely a breakdown in communication between us, we would still do things together.

I was blind to it at the time because I was just happy to be with her but her heart wasn’t in it.

End of 2021 I have to travel to support equipment during Christmas, it’s a job I can’t get around. While away we talked constantly as our schedules would permit, when I got home the first week in January a buddy sent me a link to an online profile that had her age, location, and photos exactly.

I ask her about it when I get home as calmly as anyone in that position can and she denies it saying they stole her Insta account which did actually happen, I love this girl I just let it go.

Jump 3 months, (not much changes in our relationship), so April time frame, I get blindsided that she wants to take a break to work on ourselves, ‘During this time consider it a free pass.

Do whatever/whoever you want while we figure out if we were happy’. In hindsight, well, I was just blindly in love.

I tell her okay well the market for renting is crappy right now, just get a separate bed and set up in the 2nd bedroom to stay in and we could figure a fair share on rent/utilities, (note I’ve never asked her to pay rent or bills in a house she wasn’t invested in because she wouldn’t see a return on it), she refused and said she’d rather stay in the living room.

We set boundaries about bringing anybody back to the house for both of our own mental health, well she ended up breaking that 2 weeks in. I came back from a trip to her and someone else at the house well yeah.

So at that point, I gave her a date 90+ days in the future, which she has a surgical procedure on and physically couldn’t move out after, it’s now a week before that date and she still has not packed or started moving saying she has nowhere to go.

I get she has nowhere to go, I care for this girl a lot but I also know she uses this to manipulate me, AITJ for insisting she still has to be moved out?”

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KayeItsMe 5 months ago
NTJ Get her out of your home! She's just going to continue using you.
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7. AITJ For Wanting My Uncle And His Wife To Move Out?

“I (32F) am extremely fortunate to have been able to afford a house at 26, with help from my mom (66F) with a deposit. The house is solely in my name. I am an only child and since I was born it’s me, my mom, and gran (90F) living together.

In 2021 my partner (31M) moved in and has helped a ton in the house, he has fixed what needs to be fixed.

For about 2 years now my uncle (64M) has been working for a company that is not paying him a salary. The entire family is aware of the situation but we were all told it’s fine, the backpay will be paid by ‘next week’ and supposedly it’s millions and millions, like I said this has been going on for just under 2 years now.

Their house went on auction 3 times this year but luckily it’s not been sold. The 4th time they weren’t as lucky, their house was sold at auction due to them not paying the bond. My mom found out just as they were being evacuated and offered they could come stay with us until they got their millions.

I found this out while I was at work.

The next day they were in with ALL their belongings, 2 dogs and 2 cats. My mom offered them her room and my gran was moved to one of my aunts. My aunt works in an office, my uncle works from home and my mom is retired.

They have been in my house for over 3 weeks now. I have never seen someone consume so much coffee and food and not clean up after themselves, my partner and I have to clean the kitchen in the morning before we leave for work, come back after work, cook, and still clean up after everyone has eaten.

We will be in our room, where we are confined now, and everyone will walk in to come see what the ‘kids’ are up to. I am extremely frustrated, I am not allowed to say anything, or else my mom and aunt are in tears.

My uncle is breaking and changing stuff in my house without asking my permission to change it and if I get upset I get told I am being ungrateful. We were told every day since they moved in that the money would be in the next day, but so far nothing has changed. I have 7 rescue dogs of my own, all toy breeds and we make special food for them which includes veggies and brown rice.

They have started to give their dogs our dogs’ food as well now. Nothing is asked, everything is just taken. There’s been no contributions towards the house and I am being made out to be the biggest jerk in the family now but no one wants to step in and help.

My mom is my responsibility and I accept that, I feel looking after people in the family is my plight in life. My cousin also moved in for a year in 2019. My gran had 7 kids and no one wanted to help her, so she became my problem as well.

AITJ for reacting the way I am currently and just wanting my own space back?”

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Deb77 5 months ago
Serve Aunt and Uncle with eviction papers and tell mom and granny they can be included in that if they continue to treat your home as their personal property. It is solely your house and they need to recognize that fact.
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6. AITJ For Not Wanting To Be My Sister's Maid Of Honor Anymore?

“My sister is getting married soon to Nino. As part of the pre-wedding celebrations, our family is visiting Nino’s family in Italy.

My dad is very good friends with Nino’s dad and uncle as they all grew up together, so this isn’t our first time meeting most of them.

Nino has a cousin, Luca, who I made an enemy out of when I was 9 because I told our dads that he pushed me into the water when I actually slipped and he got into a load of trouble.

I hadn’t seen him since we were children so I thought he would be over it by now but he very clearly wasn’t and seemed to hate my guts judging by how he looked at me.

He’s going to be Nino’s best man and since I was supposed to be the maid of honor, I thought it would be good for us to put the past behind us so I tried to apologize to him multiple times in English but he acted like he couldn’t understand and he only ever spoke Italian around me.

I asked Nino to translate my apology for me but he told me it would mean more if I said it to him myself in Italian to show that I was genuinely sorry. He taught me how to say what I wanted to say but Luca was never alone so I was finding it hard to find a chance to apologise.

One day he was sitting with a group outside and Nino told me to just say it in front of everybody since Luca was avoiding me. I said it, and everybody who spoke Italian found it hilarious. I had no idea what was so funny until Luca asked me in English to repeat what I said.

I tried to apologize in English but he told me to say it in Italian again. After I said it, he stood up and told me to come inside with him and he would show me a good time (wink wink). I was angry and embarrassed so I told him to stop being disgusting and he told me that was what I just said to him.

Nino found it hilarious, as did everybody else. I yelled at him and so did my sister. I ended up telling them I wouldn’t be the maid of honor anymore because the groom was a jerk. My sister is begging me not to drop out of her wedding and has told Nino to apologize multiple times but I still don’t want to do it or be around Luca and Nino more than necessary.

AITJ?”

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KayeItsMe 5 months ago
That is disgusting. If your sister really wants you in her wedding, maybe she needs to find a different groom. One who is mature and doesn't hurt people.
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5. AITJ For Refusing To Give Up My Childhood Bedroom For My Nieces And Nephews?

“I’m a woman in my 20s and I have a few siblings, and lots of nieces and nephews but no kids myself. We were all going to stay at our parents’ house and I was pretty excited. I got there and everything was good until I was informed by my mother that I was going to sleep on the couch.

Now, I grew up in that house and although I do not live there anymore I have my own bedroom that I sleep in whenever I stay there, so I was confused as to why I’d have to sleep on the couch. She told me that two of the kids were sleeping in my room.

Now maybe it’s my fault for not thinking through all the possibilities of where everyone could be sleeping, but this was kinda strange to me. Couldn’t they have moved mattresses onto the floor of their parents’ room and slept with them? I brought this up and was told by my brother and sister-in-law that they assumed they were gonna get the night to themselves.

If they really wanted the night to themselves, couldn’t they have slept on the couch (there’s certainly enough space for two)? I brought this up and was told I was being very rude and inconsiderate.

I wouldn’t have cared that much, but it’s quite cold in the living room and the couch in my parents’ house isn’t very comfortable, like it’s actually pretty hard.

Look, if I had to sleep on there I would. But I didn’t have to, I could’ve slept in my room, there was no reason for the kids to sleep in my room. I’m also a very light sleeper and I know that some people in my family wake up very, very early and I wouldn’t have appreciated being woken up at 5 am to someone making breakfast (the living room is right next to the kitchen).

So yeah, it was all a recipe for a crappy few nights for me. And I was mad. I told my mom, brother, and sister-in-law that they were the rude ones and that they were making something that could’ve been dealt with easily into a big deal. My brother said that he didn’t understand how sleeping on the couch was a big deal.

Long story short I ended up staying at a nearby hotel (with my own money) and am still pretty annoyed but my family insists that I was in the wrong.

EDIT: My family still considers this ‘my’ room, that’s what my parents and siblings all say when they refer to the room.

It has a lot of my stuff in it, old decorations, etc. I do not live in that house and am therefore not entitled to stay in the room, hence why I ended up staying in a hotel, but it is an expectation in my family that we all stay in our own rooms which was why I initially thought that was going to be the case.”

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anma7 5 months ago
ESH.. bro and sil for assuming that they wouldn't have to deal with their kids while at mom and dad's, mom for assuming and telling you not asking when tney ALL still call it your room that you would,t mind either sharing but then why should you not your kids or giving you a heads up that you might have to sleep on the couch...next time you all go home either bookmark hotel or tell them before hand that YOU would like to sleep in YOUR room
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4. AITJ For Walking Out Of An Event After My Wife Threw Away My Son's Mac And Cheese?

“Our son (10M) is a very picky eater. There are a few foods that he loves to eat such as pizza, chicken, steak, and pasta.

He is working with someone who is helping him try new foods. My wife (41F) wishes that he wasn’t picky, but I (42M) don’t see any problems. There have been concerns in the past from family members that our son was underweight. My son is at a good weight according to his doctor.

We went to my in-law’s house for a St. Patrick’s party. I brought a small dish of Mac and Cheese for my son to have for dinner as he didn’t want to have the corned beef. I noticed my wife and her mother looking at my son and having a private conversation.

When it was time for dinner, I put my son’s meal on his plate and my wife grabbed the plate. She threw the food into the trash and put some corned beef and cabbage on the plate. Son starts to get upset and pushes the plate away.

I looked at my wife and said ‘Are you serious? He didn’t want any of the corned beef, that is why I brought the mac and cheese.’

She looks back at me with a smile and says ‘Well, he needs to try new things and he might like the corned beef.’ My son whispered to me that he felt sick and wanted to go home.

I told my wife that we were leaving and would see her at home. Her sister dropped her off at the house and she came storming inside, screaming at me that I was the one at fault for not wanting my son to try new foods.

We aren’t speaking to one another right now and I have been receiving unpleasant texts from her family.

AITJ for leaving without my wife after she tried making my son eat food he didn’t want?”

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KayeItsMe 5 months ago
NTJ Voice of experience, here. If you want kids to try new foods, the best way is to ask that they have two bites of whatever it is. That second bite is important because kids tend to just gulp down the first bite without really tasting it. This technique works! My grandsons were becoming picky eaters about 10 years ago. We tried this and talked about what they did or didn't like. I suggested foods that fit their preferences. (For one, it was a matter of texture. I have the same problem.) I'm happy to report that both boys are extremely adventurous with food now. If your son is healthy, his diet seems acceptable. If it seems lacking in nutrients, add a multivitamin.

P. S. Sounds like your wife is being influenced by her mother. And who the heck tries to firce a kid to eat more foods by serving them strong tastes like corned beef and cabbage?!
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3. AITJ For Inviting My Ex-Wife To My Wedding?

“My (32M) ex-wife, let’s call her Cindy, and I got married when we were nineteen due to the fact that she was pregnant and we both came from highly religious families.

Obviously, the marriage did not work out, and we got a divorce as soon as it was financially reasonable, both in the sense of affording lawyers and such and being able to afford our lives without our families’ support, nine years ago, we weren’t really actually together for maybe a full year before that.

Although we are not IN love, I do love Cindy and we have remained close friends. Some of it was for the sake of our child, but honestly, we don’t just tolerate each other for the sake of the kid (teenager now, insane), we’re genuinely close friends and have been for as long as I’ve known my now fiancée (30F), which is a bit over four years now.

Cindy and my fiancée aren’t close friends, but I thought they were friendly. We always see Cindy when there’s anything to do involving our kid, and she’s generally invited to anything that has to do with my high school friend group. She’s never complained about Cindy being there.

So, it felt only natural to invite Cindy to our wedding. She’s my friend and the mother of my child. My fiancée, however, doesn’t seem to agree. She didn’t say anything when I added her to the guest list initially but made a lot of comments over the past week or so about how it was a bit weird to invite my ex-wife, wasn’t it?

And I told her to stop thinking of it like that and think of it as me inviting my close strictly platonic friend to a very important day to me. I also told her that it was kind of hard to uninvite her at this point given that the invites have already been sent.

I thought that was that, but she told her mother that I was being unreasonable so now my soon-to-be mother-in-law has sent me a very lengthy message on how rude it is to invite a past love to such an event and to please let her know the invite was revoked. Because mostly all of my friends know and like Cindy, I think they’re biased when they side with me on this so I’m coming to what’s hopefully a more unbiased audience to ask if I’m the jerk here.”

0 points - Liked by IDontKnow
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LizzieTX 5 months ago
ESH, but you most of all. Are you really so obtuse that you don't understand that a bride doesn't want husband's ex anything at her wedding? What is wrong with you? Of COURSE your bride is going to think things are going on between you two, whether they are or not, and of COURSE she's going to take issue with it. And I don't think either bride or her mom are completely in the wrong here, because the way you describe your ex smacks of missing her in more than a platonic way.
I would look very, very hard at your behaviour and rethink marriage to your bride to be, because I don't think you're over your ex at all. And that's probably what both she and mama are seeing now.
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2. AITJ For Telling My Parents To Stop Pretending That We're Still A Family?

“I (25M) love my parents (45F, 44M) very much, like really, they were the best and I hope that we could have the relationship we used to but I know that’s impossible. When I was 15 my parents split. I don’t know why and to be honest, I don’t care.

It was a hard time for me so I decided to live with my grandmother (my choice). They seemed sad but respected my wishes. They were present in my life and I enjoyed spending time with them alone but not with their new families because they married family friends, and had kids.

They were always trying to get me to go to their houses but I declined, they were always like: ‘Come darling, come meet my husband/wife’ and it was so stressful and so uncomfortable to see how they had their perfect families.

When I went to college, I kept my distance.

They would often call me and Facetime but that was all. I didn’t invite them to my graduation because they wanted to bring their families and that was a NO-NO because I didn’t simply feel part of any of those households.

It’s been three years and we’ve gone low contact (because of my job and new responsibilities).

I threw a party to celebrate my engagement at my house, and my fiancé obligated me to invite them (something I didn’t want). So they arrived (alone as I requested) and started acting like a married couple (well not like kissing or anything but so cheerful, they used to fight a lot).

So my FIL said: ‘Are you sure they are divorced?’ I took them to the kitchen and asked what they were doing and they said they were doing it for me, so I could feel supported by my parents as a family, then I told them that we stopped being a family ten years ago, and they can’t say ‘They are doing this for me’ because if they wanted to do it for me, they could’ve done it ten years ago when I suffered for not having my parents together when my halfsiblings could have them full time.

Then I told them to get back to their real families and never try to play the perfect family with me again because we can’t get time back, then my mom said that ‘those’ are also my family so I told her no. I sincerely don’t feel part of them.

They had to stay the night because I live in another city. My parents stayed for two other days and seemed so ashamed and sad because of what happened. They left yesterday but we barely spoke in those two days. It was awkward.

They left yesterday and only sent me a message to let me know they arrived safe and sound.

I told my fiance what I did and he called me a jerk since they tried hard to be part of my life. So that’s all. Do you guys think it was a jerk move? To be honest, it sucked to see my parents sad but that’s what I was feeling at that moment.”

-1 points (1 vote(s))
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IDontKnow 3 months ago
It seems they're trying. Trying to a part of your life. And you're just unable to receive them. Maybe they weren't fighting because it's been 10 years and they've become better people.
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1. AITJ For Having An Argument With My Stepdaughter?

“My husband has 2 kids (stepson 22 and stepdaughter 15) and I’m currently pregnant.

I met my husband (Clint) at work. He was a client and l was immediately attracted to him. It’s wrong but we began a relationship even though he was married, it went on for a year before she found out.

Obviously she was furious but Clint and I had fallen for each other so they divorced and then we got married. We’ve been married 5 years and when we got married my stepdaughter didn’t want to go, Clint forced her to come but she made it very clear she was miserable.

Our current custody agreement is we get SD every other week and to say she was a handful is an understatement, she’s cold and doesn’t listen and has made my pregnancy stressful. I’ve argued with her about being a jerk but she doesn’t care. Clint has had talks with her and taken privileges away but nothing has worked. My stepson takes her out on the weekends (thank god) now that he’s graduated college but he doesn’t get involved in trying to discipline her even when we beg him.

My husband got in a car accident and needed surgery so me and SD stayed with him until he went in then me and SD went home because it was gonna be a while and we’d been there for hours. So my SD and I get home and I ask her if she wants anything to eat, she says no so I make myself and ask her if she wants to watch a movie with me (my thought process was she would get her mind off her dad and maybe have some fun and bonding).

She looked me in the eye and said ‘I don’t wanna do anything with you EVER’ and ran off to her room.

I was angry. I mean my husband was in the hospital undergoing surgery so I ran after her and told her off. We got into an argument.

After I said my piece I left. The next thing I knew my SS came to pick up his sister and told me that he’d be talking to his mother and father and if needed, the courts. When my husband got out of surgery they weren’t there but my SS messaged him making my husband furious at me.

He said this wasn’t what he needed right now and told the nurses to kick me out of the room.

I think my SD is being overdramatic. I mean it’s not like I told her to get lost or said something hurtful but my husband usually agrees that she was hard to deal with but now he’s siding with her which makes me think I might be wrong.

AITJ?”

-2 points (2 vote(s))
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anma7 5 months ago
YTJ.... its not OUR custody agreement its HIS... of course his daughter hates you you ruined her family you silly cow, she's never going to like you, the fact you didn't let her go home to her mum while dad was in hospital speaks volumes... oh i notice you didn't put in here what was said in the argument either.. it was obviously bad enough you thought putting it on here would definitely be seen as jerk behaviour to a CHILD at any time but to 1 whose dad is in surgery too.... as for the SS won't help discipline her... cos it ain't his job you moron he's not the parent his DAD and MUM are.. you are just the person who ripped theor family apart cos you couldn't keep your claws off their dad.. oh and now you are pregnant too!!! How's that for a kick in the head for them both.... I notice younsay he said he fell out of love woth his wife... THEY ALL SAY THAT.. oh and now you got promoted to wife means his side piece slot is open again.. let's see how you feel when another woman who slept woth your hubby is screaming at your kid when HE has custody eh
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