People Go Over Their Contentious "Am I The Jerk?" Stories
31. WIBTJ If I Took My Son On A Trip And Left Hubby And The Step Kids At Home?
“I (40F) have been with my husband (42M), Dave, going on 10 years. We have a son (7) and he has two kids from his first marriage (14F and 16M).
I’ll call them Sally and Dave Jr (DJ). Officially his custody order is that DJ only sees his mom every other weekend during the school year and every other week during summer break and Sally only sees Dave every other weekend during the school year and every other week during summer break.
It’s been like this since my husband divorced their mom when they were 1 and 3. I wasn’t there I don’t know the full reasoning for this but I was told DJ was a handful and his mother didn’t want to deal with him.
By the time my husband could afford another big fight in court, the kids were old enough to say whatever we like it like this.
Now ex-wife is not flexible where Sally’s custody schedule is concerned unless it benefits her and it’s a mixed bag with DJ.
In general, she doesn’t care about him. When he turned 14, he started only seeing his mom a few days a month even during the summer because he refuses to go and/or she refuses to take him.
On to the WIBTJ.
My parents’ 40th anniversary is coming up next year. They are planning a big trip to Europe and invited me, my husband and kids and my sister and her family. Nothing is set in stone but they want to do a big two-week trip which would mean that Dave would need extra custody time since there is nothing in his order that gives longer visitation time during summer break.
I told my husband and he approached his ex about it. Well, she said she’d think about it and she needs options. So we did, like kids fly back unaccompanied, husband flies back with them after a week, she gets extra visitation time, she gets Christmas break next year instead of their dad, etc. Every option was shot down and she said well DJ can go for the two weeks but not Sally.
Then a few days later she said actually she doesn’t want either going because she is not comfortable with them going at all overseas with “strangers”. Neither kid has a passport so Dave would need her to sign for them to get one so even if he just ignored her wishes we can’t even take them for just a week.
My husband said fine then are you ok with watching them for an extra week because we have no other relatives to watch them. Nope, she can’t do three weeks straight with both of them so my husband just said guess we’re not going.
I have suggested just him, myself, and our son go for the week he doesn’t have the other two but he shot that down since his ex likes to randomly drop DJ off when he gets too much for her.
I’ve thought about it the last week or so and I can’t help thinking why should my son and myself miss out on this huge trip because my husband’s ex wants to deny her kids this experience and my husband refuses to fight with her anymore or go to court.
So WIBTJ if I just took myself and my son on this trip and left my husband and stepkids at home?”
30. AITJ For Kicking My Brother's Fiancee Out After She Insulted Me As A Parent?
“I (26m) recently just moved back home after graduating from college and successfully building my career in that state. When I came back I found out I had a child with my ex that I broke things off with before leaving for college.
I’m becoming active in my son’s life for the time I missed and I told my family about the situation. Of course they were happy for me but urged me to get a paternity test just to be sure I wasn’t taking care of someone else’s kid.
This will be important for context later.
Yesterday was my 26th birthday, and I decided to have a cookout with some family members and invited my son and his mother (she and I aren’t on great terms but it’s getting a lot better).
I told my family to bring whoever they wanted, and my brother brought his fiancée. I’ve met her before when my family flew out to visit me for my birthday last year. I always got the sense that she didn’t like me for some reason but it was whatever I didn’t really care.
Everything was going well. My brother and I grilled up some good food and we played the bean bag toss game with my son and the rest of my family. When chatting with my mother, brother, and his fiancée, my mother told me how happy she was for me that I have a son.
Before I could thank her I heard my brother’s fiancée mumble “if the brat is even yours”.
I told her to speak the heck up and say it to me instead of hiding under her breath. She seemed shocked at first but then she said “I said if that brat is even yours.
How do we know his mother wasn’t hooking up with others while you were gone”. She also said my son survived long enough without me and that he doesn’t need another crappy parent. I told her to go screw herself and that she has no right to disrespect me in my home and that she’s lucky my brother even saved her from the heck house she came from in the first place.
Then I told her to get the heck out.
She turned around and started to leave then yelled for my brother to come with her. To which he said and I quote “Nah. Thanks though. See you at home.” As close as my brother and I are, I for sure thought he would’ve followed her.
My brother obviously thought she was in the wrong, but my parents and some of my other family members later told me I was wrong for bringing up her past publicly and that I owed her an apology. I don’t see what for and neither does my brother, the literal fiancé of this woman.
But maybe I’m trippin, AITJ?
Just to let everyone know, my son is absolutely my son 100%. The paternity test came back this morning and I’m not even surprised. Seriously, this kid looks exactly like I did when I was his age.
He’s an amazing kid and I’m excited to be his dad. just wish I could’ve been there from the start.”
29. AITJ For Exposing The Real Reason My Brother And I Had A Falling Out At My Wedding?
“I (M30) got married 2 weeks ago. I was married before but it ended after I found out that my older brother Thomas (M34) got involved with my first wife. It was devastating because we were close and had a great relationship.
I also helped him so much while he was struggling and seeing how he repaid me hurts to this very day.
I stopped talking to him and Mom and dad forced me to keep it a secret and because I was too weak to argue with them, I just kept my own distance.
Then I met my now wife. My family loved and embraced her as their own. Mom and dad treat her like a queen which helped repair and solidified my relationship with them. However, as the wedding was approaching they told me they expected me to invite Thomas.
I of course refused but they kept guilting me about what the relatives and other guests would think and say when they don’t see Thomas there. I fought with them about it til the day of the wedding. Turned out they’d invited him behind my back but I found out and stopped them in time.
They came to the wedding looking mad asking what we were going to tell people when they ask about Thomas. I told them I’d take care of it. And what I did was take a moment while everyone was paying attention, grabbed the mic, and flat out announced this and said “the reason I didn’t invite Thomas to my wedding is because I was worried he’d steal my now wife just like he stole the first one.” I said it playfully to not make it sound so tense but most of the guests looked shocked and started mumbling then it went awkwardly quiet for a moment.
then we moved on but I saw Mom and Dad walk out while looking at me grudgingly.
Later they started lashing out about how I just exposed Thomas and caused him to be shunned by the family in the most hideous of ways.
I told them that I already said I didn’t want him there yet they tried to push him on me repeatedly saying “what are people going to say” so I told them the reason why he wasn’t there in a playful way but they (the guests) still got the message.
Mom started yelling about how everyone will now look down on and shun Thomas, she called me pathetic and cruel for still punishing him and gradually ruining his life despite him apologizing and trying to reconcile but in my opinion?
Some things are just unforgivable.
We’ve been on horrible terms since then. AITJ? My wife said at least now they’re off my back about what people would say about not inviting him.”
28. AITJ For Talking Back To My Partner's Family's Neighbor?
“So, I’m not from the US. I moved here at 13, went to school, graduated, went to college, the works. I met my partner almost 2 years ago.
We’ve been together for just about that long. Over the past year, she introduced me to her parents and we’ve been getting to know each other better. Her dad and I are getting pretty close, he called me to rant about basketball constantly throughout the season.
So yesterday, Saturday, they’re having a BBQ in their backyard, they invite the neighbors and the whole family.
I live in a very blue part of a red state. Their parents’ neighborhood is out of central casting. All the en vogue lawn signs as far as the eye can see.
Think of all the slogans, hashtags, and organizations you can associate with an area like that, it’s all there. I don’t know if this is important, it was just my observation. We’re there for about 30 minutes, going around, introducing ourselves.
We’re standing in a circle with pretty much everyone else there, because they’re all eager to meet me, for some reason. Eventually, it comes to where I’m from. I tell them, no problem. This lady then says in an over-exaggeratedly nice way, Wow, your English is very good.
Now I hate when people say things like that, I find it incredibly condescending.
Like, even in high school, a few years into the country, I was in AP English. I got an 800 on the SATs in the writing part.
Back when they had a writing part, they eliminated it now, because no one can form a coherent sentence. Like my command of the language is better than most native speakers, I don’t need people telling me this. But the way she said it got me even more upset, so I replied: So is yours.
Your diction can use a little work, but it’ll get there. I smiled when I said it too, making it look like a compliment. This lady’s face froze, I could see her brain trying to work out what I said and what it meant.
Several people spat out their drinks. My partner’s dad and brother were shaking, trying to contain laughter. Her mom quickly changed the subject and everybody dispersed. We stayed away from each other. At the end of the evening, her mom got on me about being rude to her neighbor, when she was just trying to compliment me.
My partner defended me, the brother was all for it. Dad didn’t say anything but nodded to me behind her back. I apologized and said I’ll smooth things over the next time I see her. AITJ?”
27. AITJ For Telling My Neighbor My Opinions On Beauty Pageants?
“I’m a single mother to an 11-year-old girl, we recently got moved from the UK to America by my Company and it has been quite an adjustment but we’re settling in well enough.
She misses her friends and the family we left behind but we Zoom regularly and she has begun to make new friends, especially after I found her a new Dojang to continue her Taekwondo.
All in all, everything was going fine except for one thing.
Our next-door neighbor is a SAHM to three girls aged (12, 10, and 6). She is quite nosey and always poking around and trying to talk to us, I put this down to just curiosity plus perhaps me misreading her intentions as I’m still adjusting to how people can be here.
The issue came however three days ago when she came round and I let her in for some coffee, she tried to convince me to sign my daughter up for some kind of pre-teen beauty pageant. I won’t lie I was shocked by this I don’t know anyone who does this kind of thing and they seem disgusting to me.
I didn’t want to be rude as apparently all three of her girls do it so I didn’t share that thought and instead I told her it really wasn’t my daughter’s cup of tea as she is a total tomboy and always wearing jeans and whatever gaming t-shirt she can find.
My neighbor tutted at this and said she’d seen and commented on what a waste it was as my daughter was so pretty and I was letting her waste her “Potential” with all those boy things. She even tried to suggest it was something our girls could bond over and how she’d teach her how to walk and dress and do make-up for it and how it would be much more fun than fighting and “Getting bruises.”
I won’t lie I was getting angry at this and told her that my daughter was much too young for that kind of thing and I wouldn’t force her either as I knew she’d have no interest. She tried to say we should ask her and that I shouldn’t make this kind of choice on my own and implied that with how busy I must be at work it was normal girly things would slip by me and it’s ok.
At this point I told her to get out of my house and to mind her own business and to not dare question how I parent my daughter, bringing up I was polite enough not to say how disgusting I think it is she makes her daughters do those kind of pageants.
This led to a lot of gasping and shocked anger from her before she stormed out. I’ve had a little time to cool off since then and maybe I snapped too easily, it’s tough raising my daughter alone and I didn’t like the implication I was failing her in some way plus I know these shows are more common in America than the UK so maybe I tripped over some cultural landmine…since then every time she sees me and my daughter she gives us very dirty looks.
Did I mess up here? Should I try to mend the rift I caused? Maybe I misread what she intended to be kind as an attack. Still not letting my daughter do pageants though.”
26. AITJ For Giving My Son Privacy By Putting A Lock On His Door?
“My (30F) husband (32M) and I have a 10-year-old son who is an only child. My older sister, her husband, and three kids (who are 12M, 7F, and 5F) all live down the street so they’re round a lot. This bothers my son as he’s a quiet kid who likes his own space and they always swarm to his room to play when they come round and it’s upsetting especially as there have been a few toy breakages in the past.
After talking it over with my husband we installed a lock on our son’s door and told him he can use it to keep anyone he wants out as he’s old enough for privacy though we explained we had a copy of the key too for emergencies.
My sister and her kids came round the other day for lunch, this was the first time since the lock had been installed.
Of course the kids swarmed towards his room only to find the door was locked, at first they thought it was stuck and came to tell me and I told them that no it was locked and it was up to my son if he wanted to let them in to play or not.
This upset my 12-year-old nephew who wanted to play with my son’s ps5 so he began to try to get me to make my son share, I told him no I wasn’t going to force the issue but if he wanted to play video games after lunch then he could use my switch that was hooked up to the TV in the living room.
My sister was annoyed at me over this and told me that a 10-year-old didn’t need that kind of privacy and I was just training him to be rude and inconsiderate. Bringing up how her 12-year-old didn’t have a lock on his door so why would a 10-year-old need it?
I wasn’t going to point out in front of her kids that they were the reason he needed the lock in the first place so just said that it was something my husband and I felt was appropriate and that our son was ready for.
She then began to apply pressure to my son trying to convince him that he wanted his cousins to come play in his room as they were so bored and wouldn’t it be “fun”? My son isn’t good at confrontation as I said he’s quiet and he was clearly feeling uncomfortable so I told my sister to lay off and if her kids needed to play so much there was no reason to hang around after lunch as it wasn’t fair to make them sit there bored.
My sister did eventually leave in a huff but has been telling our parents how rude I’ve been and how I’m teaching my son to be inconsiderate too and how I’m not teaching him to “share”. When we go to theirs he always asks before touching anything of his cousins and I’ve expressed in the past how they should return that consideration but it’s always ignored. Our parents are taking my sister’s side stating that family shares things and besides having his cousins round to play will help make my son less shy and how he doesn’t need privacy that young.
My husband is on my side and has suggested my sister and her kids not come round for a while which honestly I’m leaning towards, Is it really that weird to give a 10-year-old privacy and ability to decide who comes into his room?”
I would be having a very one-sided conversation with your parents about the lock on your son's door and how it came to be there. If they're still b!tching about your treatment of sister and her spawn at the end of that conversation, inform them that they're no longer welcome in your home and that they can commiserate with sister about your insistence on rules and respect for others.
25. AITJ For Kicking My Partner Out Over His Dog Obsession?
“My partner 22m) is a dog person. I’ll call him Sam. I (21f) am a cat person, but I still love dogs, so I wasn’t expecting this trait to negatively affect our relationship. However, Sam is truly obsessed with dogs.
He hates everything that isn’t a dog or dog-related and he can’t fathom anything bad being associated with dogs. He even defends dogs when he finds out about dog attacks. Sam also romanticizes every single behavior of dogs, to the point that it’s sometimes weird.
He’s sent me multiple videos of dogs pooing on the floor because “it’s funny” and “it’s cute.”
I’ve wondered if Sam is autistic with dogs being his special interest since we met, so I try not to judge him for this just in case, but sometimes it gets out of hand (I am autistic).
For example, his hatred for any non-dog led to him to give my cat to my grandparents. Sam lied and said my cat escaped the house. I didn’t find out he was lying until my grandparents called me to tell me my cat passed away.
Anyways, Sam dealt with the same pain as I did when his dog got off its leash and passed away after getting smoked by a car. This was a few weeks ago, and since then he has bought 3 dogs and has not asked me before buying any of them.
The first one was a sweet elderly dog, which I was fine with. Not to disrespect the dead, but Sam’s previous dog was an absolute nightmare, so he was a pleasant change. Later, he bought two puppies for a whopping total of $7,500.
These puppies are pure menaces. They’re very young, so it’s not their fault for not understanding their actions, but Sam refuses to teach them right from wrong. In fact, he encourages this behavior. When they destroyed my stuffed animals, he told me it was funny and gave them one to chew on.
The specific stuffed animal he gave them to destroy was a very rare and sought-after Squishmallow. I waited for hours in line to get it, and he knew this, so I found this incredibly disrespectful. Another example of this is when the puppies wouldn’t use their pee pad and destroyed the carpets in OUR RENTAL, but Sam refused to train them better.
The bulk of the responsibility with the dogs was on me. All he did was take the dogs out for the occasional walk and make social media accounts for the two puppies.
Another issue I have with this is that Sam has started speaking in “doggo talk” to everybody, not just the dogs.
I know this is petty, but it’s so irritating that I can’t even be intimate with Sam.
However, a bigger issue recently came up. I have some funds hidden away for emergencies. I went to take some of it out to pay for Sam’s elderly dog’s vet bills, but the majority of it was gone.
I panicked and searched everywhere, but it was nowhere to be found. When I asked Sam about it, he admitted to using it to buy the puppies. I told him that he can send the puppies back and get a refund, or he can leave.
My name is on the rent.
He refused to send them back, so I made him leave and requested that my landlord change the locks.”
No great loss, sweetheart. He is a lazy, useless mooch and you're well rid of him.
Oh, and take him to small claims court to get back the money he stole from you.
24. AITJ For Snapping At My Cousin After She Brought Up My Infertility Again?
“I’m a 36-year-old female struggling with fertility for years and was never able to have children.
My husband and I tried everything, even adoption but our finances got damaged in 2020 and adoption is no longer within reach.
I’ve made peace with this loss (loss of hopes and dreams of being a mom) and have begun a new chapter where I focus on what’s ahead and keep my mental health intact.
I have a cousin “Megan” she’s 38, married with 3 kids, and always (almost every time she sees me) brings up my infertility and talks about stuff I missed out on being a mom. It stressed me out back then but it now serves as a hurtful reminder of what could’ve been.
She’d now talk about my “hypothetical children” (she even gave them names) and what they would’ve done/what grade they’d be in by now. My mom told her to stop it as it’s become too much but she said she was doing this to cheer me up and lift up my spirit.
trust me, it does the opposite.
I was invited to a BBQ by my family and Megan was there with her husband. Mom, dad, aunt, and other cousins were there. We were eating while the kids were playing with the ball.
Megan sighed and then turned to me and said that if I had children they’d be here with us and doing this and that that very day. I stopped eating and looked at her in disbelief. Her husband smirked and said, “yeah, Little Timmy would be running with the ball from all the other kids right now”.
I was so hurt and upset I snapped. I looked at Megan and her husband and said “why do you keep talking about my “hypothetical” children? Are you tired of talking about yours?” Megan looked shocked, her husband said “hey, that was totally uncalled for!” We had an argument and mom and aunt got involved. Megan pitched a fit saying I was being deliberately disrespectful and offended her and her family with what I said.
My mom told me to apologize because it was clearly a misunderstanding, I pointed out how Megan has been doing this for some God-awful reason knowing how I felt about it yet still kept doing it. She started crying and I went home.
I told my husband and he cried. Mom called me saying making a scene at the family BBQ was over the line and said that Megan and her husband AND aunt are upset because they think I snapped at them for no reason.
She said I had to apologize and let it go but I refused.”
You owe no one an apology, and you should cut contact with anyone who thinks you do. Megan has been terrorizing you for decades and it's YOUR fault?
Nope. Don't even try to defend yourself. Just cut them all out of your life and be happy.
23. AITJ For Telling My Sister That If She Were Better Educated She Would've Been Matched With A Better Husband?
“My sister and I are twins (33F). We come from a culture where arranged marriages are an option (not India). Mostly they are blind dates set by a matchmaker.
And if you are compatible you marry.
When we both graduated high school, my sister (who was valedictorian BTW) chose not to attend college. She asked for an arranged marriage since all she wanted to be was a wife and mother (nothing wrong with that).
My parents (who are a love match) tried to convince her to at least get her bachelor’s. She refused. I on the other hand started attending an engineering college (computer engineering).
A year later she married a man that she met through the matchmaker.
He is a very nice man, a teacher, and treats my sister like a queen. The thing is he was just a freshly hired teacher. My sister went from living in a double-income house with parents being both high earners (a doctor and a lawyer) to a single-income house on a teacher’s salary.
I graduated at 23 and started working as a cyber security personnel for a big bank. After 2 years, I too asked for an arranged marriage.
My husband is a business owner (real estate developer) and he makes a lot more than I do.
He also comes from money.
My sister didn’t like him from the get-go, she even threw a tantrum (thankfully in private) at my wedding. Apparently, the bride gifts he bought were tacky (more like very expensive, more than what her husband could get her).
The problem is that my first child is now at the age where she will be starting preschool, we signed her up for a private school. The monthly tuition is more than what her husband makes.
When she heard this she just exploded. She was ranting about how it’s not fair that our kids will not have equal opportunities, how the only reason I could live like I do was that my parents chose a better husband for me.
I became angry, for how she treats me, how unfair she was to her husband and my parents, so I laid the truth on her. I told her I got matched with a better husband because I am a college-educated woman with a respectable job, and that wealthy men using matchmakers don’t want 19-year-old high school graduates, their standards are higher.
I told her that her husband is a wonderful man who loves her, but if all she wanted was a wealthy man she should have gone to college.
Now she is NC with me, she says that I am an elitist jerk.
So AITJ?”
22. AITJ For Refusing To Help My Sister Reach Her Dreams Of Becoming A Mother?
“My oldest sister is 40. She always wanted to be a mom but some complications meant she was never able to be a biological mom.
In her 20s she met a widower with young kids and married him, admitting her intention was to become a mom through them. Her stepkids were never okay with her like that and for the last 16 years, she has struggled to come to terms with the fact not one of them considers her their mom or embraces her like she would like.
This is something she always complains about when she’s around our family, especially me and our sisters.
Three years ago one of my sisters was expecting her third child and she was going through a lot and struggling with her pregnancy.
She wasn’t sure they could handle a third child and worried about financials because her husband had a new job that paid less than his old one (the old one folded a few months before that) and they had already made adjustments to factor in the new household budget.
My oldest sister harassed her for months about letting her adopt the baby, going as far as going to our BIL about it and telling him she wanted the baby and that he should talk our sister around. It never happened but it did harm her relationship with the rest of the family.
I gave birth to my second child in November and had a procedure to make sure I had no more kids. Both my pregnancies have been awful on my body, and I didn’t want to risk putting myself through that again.
My sister brought this up last week. She said I was selfish to sterilize myself before offering to be a surrogate for her and that I could have given her my youngest to adopt at the very least. I told her I wanted my kids so I would never ever give one of them up like that.
She said her dreams of motherhood were important. I told her nobody owed her motherhood though and the way she was carrying on was wrong and concerning, and she had brushed aside our concerns before, but she needed to get some help because she can’t keep demanding others give her kids.
She flipped out and started screaming that as her family we should want to help her reach her dream of motherhood and we should be more understanding because she gets crapped on by her stepchildren and doesn’t get any of the joy the rest of us have.
We have been sensitive for years. We encouraged her to speak to someone countless times. But she keeps going on like this and it is concerning. Her marriage has felt the strain of it all. But I know I might have been harsh saying we didn’t owe her motherhood which is why I’m here.
AITJ?”
21. AITJ For Not Wanting To Take In My Wife's Troubled Niece?
“Background: my wife has an older half-sister. ~10 years older than her. The half-sister has had substance abuse problems, gone to jail and rehab multiple times. She isn’t involved much in any of her 4 children’s lives.
We only see one of her children, I’ll call her Betty (13F).
Her dad is good enough to bring her to family engagements and such, so we get to see her a few times a year. A few years ago he got diagnosed as diabetic. He didn’t take care of it and continues to ignore it, so he’s now on state disability and losing his foot/leg.
He’s not engaged at all in Betty’s upbringing it seems. She’s on social media all day, doesn’t play sports or any activities, has no interests, and is failing school. Betty’s dad also lives with his mom, so her grandma is always around but doesn’t seem to do anything for her either.
My wife and I have built a great life together. We have a home, a dog, nice cars, and a toddler. We both work full-time but are happy with what we have built.
Betty came to visit us over the holiday weekend.
I now dread her visits but acknowledge she is part of my wife’s family and thus a part of mine. I dread the visits because she is: rude to everyone, doesn’t clean up after herself at all (even when asked/coached to do so), refuses to eat anything but junk food, and is generally disrespectful.
She’s also stolen funds from my in-laws in the past and her dad didn’t care or reprimand her, so I’m always worried that she will steal from us.
A couple of days ago Betty’s dad called and said his prosthetic leg rehab is going to take months and asked if we would take Betty for freshman year of high school.
(We live several states away.) My wife’s family is over the moon. She and my in-laws can’t stop talking about how great it will be for her and how much more engaged we will be in her life.
They think that “with some structure, she will learn to work hard and get good grades.”
I am not wanting to do it. I feel like Betty’s dad and grandma are seeing her attitude and just want to take the state-provided funds for her, give us a small % and live their own lives.
I absolutely feel this would be great for Betty, but I don’t like the idea. Our relationship has been stressful since our toddler and I feel like our marriage will be even more stressed bringing Betty into it full time.
I fear for our child seeing someone like her around full-time and starting to imitate her behavior.
My wife and her family are making me feel like a jerk because Betty is family but I see nothing but a risk to our lives and feel taken advantage of by her family just bc we have the capability to do it.”
The only concession I would make us to send a small monthly stipend to Betty's family to help out, but under no circumstances should she be in your home. At all. And your wife's family all know this, because they don't want her either.
This is a hill to die on. You and your wife have jobs, a toddler and a nice life. Don't chance anything that will change that.
20. AITJ For Calling Out My MIL On Her Fake Allergies?
“For as long as I’ve been with my husband MIL has been claiming she is deathly allergic to eggs, ginger and she can’t have a lot of salt in her meals. So I’ve been actively avoiding these ingredients in meals I cook.
She has even had “allergic reactions to food she suspects has those ingredients.”
About a week ago I hosted a dinner for SIL’s birthday and made SIL her favourite salted caramel mousse. It’s easily one of the best things I make, this recipe has taken me years to make perfect and I keep it a huge secret but it has a lot of egg and a lot of salt in it.
So keeping in line with MIL’s dietary requirements I make her a simple choc caramel mousse with no eggs or salt in it.
Dessert rocks around and I bring out a tray of the salted caramel mousse, put it on the table, and tell MIL “I’ll be back with your mousse in a second.
Don’t eat this one, it’s salted caramel.”
I go to the kitchen, come back and MIL has already taken a salted caramel mousse (Which was meant for me) and is shoveling it into her face as quickly as possible. I yell “NO MIL!!!
It has egg and salt in it!!” She keeps eating and says “I know.. but everyone always says it’s so nice and I wanted to try it. A little bit won’t hurt.” She devours the entire mousse (which wasn’t a small portion) and asks if there is any more because it was so yummy.
I tell her no, there isn’t anymore but what’s going on? I thought she was allergic to those ingredients..
She tells me well, she’s technically not allergic but she doesn’t like the taste of egg, it makes her sick so she just tells people she is allergic, and that way people don’t make her food with those ingredients.
She still eats cakes, pies, etc.. where she can’t taste the ingredients. She just doesn’t like to eat them if she can taste them.
I tell her she shouldn’t say she is allergic if she isn’t. There is a big difference between not liking something and being allergic to something.
I’ve always gone out of my way to avoid those ingredients in her food and even purchased separate bowls and spoons to cook her food with to avoid cross-contamination. I’ve been substituting ingredients for years to ensure that I’m not feeding her something she is allergic to.
She LAUGHS and says it’s not a big deal. Lots of people do it. She also told me I’m being a drama queen.
I told her it IS a big deal. She could have just TOLD me she didn’t like it.
It would have saved me a fortune in substituting ingredients or making separate meals.
Everyone at the table agreed that claiming to have an allergy when you’re not allergic is a crappy thing to do.
She sent me a message yesterday saying that I shouldn’t have called her out in front of everyone, now no one will take her seriously when she says she is allergic.
I replied with “well, you’re not allergic to them.. so it doesn’t really matter does it?”
She texted my husband that she’s not coming over unless I apologize to her for calling her out in front of everyone because I made her feel bad.
AITJ?”
My advice to you is to enjoy the heck out of this respite from monster in law's company, and to extend it as long as you can by going no contact with her until she apologizes, which will be never. Because she'll never admit she did anything wrong.
19. AITJ For Refusing To Name My Baby After My Husband's Late Wife And Daughter?
“My husband John 32m and I 30f got married 2 years ago. I’m John’s second wife, his first wife Isabel died 9 years ago in a car accident driving to an appointment. At the time, she was 7 months pregnant with a baby girl who they planned to name Rose.
Rose also passed in the accident. John wasn’t in the accident, but he blamed himself for their deaths since he was working and couldn’t get time off to drive Isabel. Obviously, this was very traumatic and he had to go to therapy for a long time to recover.
He still talks about Isabel sometimes and has pictures of her in the house.
5 months ago, I found out I was pregnant. It wasn’t planned but John and I were still extremely happy. A few days ago, I went to the ultrasound appointment and it was revealed we’re having a girl.
For the past few days, we’ve been throwing baby name suggestions around. However, he came to me this morning and said he finally knew what our daughter’s name would be—Isabel as a first name and Rose as a middle name.
I was taken aback for obvious reasons and asked him why. He looked at me weirdly and said that it was to honor his late wife and daughter.
This was surprising to me since we’ve talked about having kids before and he’s never mentioned wanting to name our kids after Isabel or Rose.
I told him I wasn’t comfortable naming our child Isabel Rose since it would feel like we were trying to replace them. He kept trying to convince me and said that it would be like his late family could live again through our daughter, but I just want our daughter to be her own person and not feel like she’s growing up in the shadow of 2 deceased people.
John got mad and accused me of trying to force him to act like Isabel and Rose never existed. I said that wasn’t true and that we would still talk about them and remember them with our daughter, but he said the best way to remember them would be to name our daughter after them.
He also called me a hypocrite because I suggested my sister’s name (my sister is alive) as a middle name. I said that was different because our child would still have her own unique first name and I only suggested it because my sister is planning on being a loving aunt.
Finally, he called me disrespectful of the dead and that he wasn’t going to change his mind. He went to our room and hasn’t come out.
I consulted my family and friends and while most of them agree I’m not the jerk, a couple of them are saying John is grieving and I should just let him name this kid and I can name the next one.
One friend who’s a therapist even said that this is John’s attempt to ease his guilty conscience and that refusing the name could make him spiral into self-loathing. I’ve also started to get messages from people I’m assuming are Isabel’s family (John most likely told them about the situation) begging me to name my daughter after Isabel because they want another way to memorialize her.
I hate to disappoint her family since they’re grieving too, but I still don’t want to. Am I being selfish?”
18. AITJ For Showering At Another Guy's House?
“I (24F) was hanging out at a friend’s on Saturday, we were relaxing in the garden and having a Barbeque with some of our other friends to celebrate one of them turning 25, just a chill day and it was honestly great.
Until a seagull crapped on me, that is. It was in my hair and on my clothes and I was of course freaking out and cursing up a storm.
My friends laughed at this and the friend whose house it was told me to go use his shower and borrow some of his clothes (as no way in heck was I going to sit about with dirty hair or put on dirty clothes).
I went into the house and showered, borrowed one of his t-shirts and some shorts, and rejoined the party not going to let this get me down. I put my clothes in a carrier bag to take home to wash.
Both were a little big on me but he’s pretty small for a guy so it was a passable fit.
When I went home my partner (27M) wasn’t happy to see me with my messy hair as it had air-dried and in what was clearly a guy’s clothes.
He asked what happened and I explained figuring he’d see the humor in it but he didn’t he focused on the fact I’d showered at another guy’s home and then put on said guy’s clothes. I told him it was my friend and I didn’t exactly shower with the peanut gallery watching and what was I supposed to do?
Drive home with dirty hair and clothes? He seemed to think this was the only reasonable answer. It takes half an hour to get there so by the time I’d gotten home it would have been dried into my hair and I’d have run the risk of getting my car dirty.
I even showed him my dirty clothes to prove my point.
He has told me that no guy would stand for this and how is he to know nothing else went down, I told him because a) he should trust me, b) it was a party with multiple people not exactly a one-on-one thing.
He keeps insisting I was in the wrong here and can I not see how this would upset him?
He is not letting this drop and the more he goes on the more I’m doubting myself…am I really in the wrong here?
I didn’t consider that this could be the wrong move as it just seemed logical to me. He is my first serious relationship I’ve never lived with anyone else so maybe I’m messing this up?
Some of you will likely ask, no there were no partners at this just our friend circle.
The only couple was two friends who are together. He didn’t mind that when I went and indeed had no interest in going anyway.”
17. AITJ For Thinking The Amount Of Chores I Give My Kids Is Fair?
“I (F40) have five kids – 21, 20, 18 as a young mom and later in life had two more – 2, 6.
My 18-year-old recently graduated and has begun her first summer as an adult. She got a part-time summer job and no longer has a curfew and is enjoying her freedom.
She is living at home until she starts college. She does not pay any bills. We recently got into an argument when I asked her to come home instead of staying out, as she had been out many nights in a row and her dog had been hard to take care of.
An argument ensued where she blew up on me and ultimately said I treat her like a third adult in the home and always had, that she had way too many responsibilities in helping with her siblings and around the house, and was finally putting her foot down with me.
In conversation the next day with her siblings 21 and 20, my 21-year-old said I had “parentified” them and they all agree.
I want to be a good mother and open to growth and criticism but I think they’re being spoiled and dramatic.
My expectation when they lived here was they all did a chore daily – aiming for 20 minutes. This would be a chore like sweeping and mopping the living room/kitchen, washing dishes, or feeding the animals (dogs and horse). During the summer or after school they often watched their younger sibling(s).
This would generally be for 20 minutes up to perhaps two hours, typically while my husband (their stepdad) did some kind of work outdoors. These would also be household contributions – say taking our garbage or yard work, and I’m sure sometimes puttering.
They rarely if ever babysat while we left the house, it would be while a parent was still home. They never missed or skipped a social event, school, homework, or anything. The 18 yo did not work senior year and I paid her to do some extra cleaning and babysitting.
Her school got out before our first graders and I would have her pick him up on her way home. I paid for all her gas. She was pretty whiny about it and never did more than an hour a day, but looking back at transfers I gave her about $200 a week.
Today, I still pay all their cell phone bills. I help if something comes up, pay two of their car insurances. I suggested we make expectations clear with the 18 yo to avoid more conflict. I suggested she contribute 20 minutes a day to chores, let me know when she’ll be home or if she’s staying out when she goes, and for her to take care of her dog as much as possible.
She thought that was “ridiculous.” A big complaint of hers is that she ends up cleaning messes she didn’t make and that she doesn’t have 20 minutes every day between work and having fun.
When I was growing up older kids babysat siblings alone at home for full work days every day and kept the house clean.
I am torn between feeling like a horrible person and indignation. AITJ? I truly cannot tell.”
16. AITJ For Laughing At My Ex's Wife After She Ranted About Her Problems To Me?
“My ex two-timed me with his current wife. That was 5 years ago. Ex and I share three sons who are 11, 10, and 8. Ex’s wife has a daughter and a son with her ex, who she also two-timed with my ex.
The two of them have said it all. From it was meant to be, to how great it is because the kids all have a bigger and happier family, blah blah blah.
I am over it in some ways. There is very much a sting that the affair partner in my marriage gets to call herself my kids’ stepmom.
But I’m not at all sorry that my ex is gone. The man slept with her behind my back for 18 months before her husband and I found out. I am civil when the kids are around, I ignore them when the kids aren’t around.
This whole thing happened over ex’s parents. They were disgusted with him for the affair. MIL told him that he destroyed his kids’ foundation. That leaving a spouse is never easy and divorce is hard for kids anyway but when you add conflict in the way of an affair, you take something from a child that they can rarely ever get back, and that’s parents who can still care about each other and want the best for each other despite not being together.
They stayed very close to me and haven’t welcomed ex’s wife at all. Nor have they been involved with ex’s life since really, or his stepkids. It bothers her a lot.
My youngest son won an award in school a couple of weeks ago.
Ex and his wife were there. So was I. Ex’s wife ended up coming up to complain to me because both my and ex’s parents showed up briefly, spoke to my son, then to me, and left. She was saying how unfair it is.
How her kids don’t understand why ex’s family has nothing to do with them and why they never see them but they know my kids have a relationship. She said ex’s family loves me, it hurts her feelings to feel not good enough.
I’ll be honest. I rolled my eyes at first but then I laughed because she seemed to expect sympathy or help from me. Laughing at her ticked her off. I have heard from her and my ex since that I was rude, I should care about the kids at least, and I am not thinking of my kids when I keep bad blood between us and laugh at her suffering.
One part of me doesn’t care and believes I’m fine once my kids couldn’t see it. Another part of me wonders if I was a jerk to laugh at her.
AITJ?”
15. AITJ For Taking Possession Of The House My Mom Lives In And Locking Her And Her Family Out?
“When I (23M) was 15 my dad died. My mom (45) didn’t wait too long to “start over” and moved her new partner in just 2 months later.
My dad left everything to me and not even a dime to her (they were not married). My dad’s will was so structured that she couldn’t challenge it, and she attempted and even asked me to pass over one of my properties to her to show my “new” dad that he was welcomed, I couldn’t even if I wanted to because my dad’s will was specified that I must be 21 to have access to everything he left me.
This dude had kids (18M, 19F their ages now) and my mom prioritized them to keep him happy, I mean she wasn’t like neglectful but she tended to favor them. They went on trips, and even if she didn’t tell me not to go she’d say something between the lines of: “Wouldn’t you like to go to your grandparents’ (My dad’s) better?” I mean I’m not stupid and I know she didn’t want me there.
When I turned 17 she asked me to leave (My own house) because I kept fighting with her dude and I also reminded him of whose house it was, when he wanted to play the man of the house, I also called him John Conroy.
My Grandparents told me to avoid confrontation so I went to live with them, my mom would visit me often and tell me how much she loved me but she needed to “keep peace at home.”
After college, I decided to check my properties and also the one that my mom is living at, I wanted to renovate it to rent it since it’s a good one and can help me to afford my master’s.
I went there to inform my mom but no one was there (Later I found out they went on vacation). I called her but she didn’t answer so I proceeded to change the locks (mainly to officially take possession). They arrived yesterday and couldn’t get in, of course, they called me but I wasn’t in town.
I went today because some renovation work will start in a few weeks, I was in the back yard and my mom came in furious yelling at me saying how I dare to do that. So we talked and I let them know they have two weeks to leave, her husband (an unemployed oh sorry, self-employed) was furious, my mom and her stepdaughter started crying because the girl is pregnant (I’m sorry) but I made up my mind.
My mom’s family is shaming me but I’d like to know if you think I’m the jerk?”
14. AITJ For Flaunting My New Family In Front Of My Ex And Making Him Feel Left Out?
“My ex and I divorced almost 12 years ago. We have both remarried. My ex to a woman who has a son the same age as our oldest daughter, and me to a man who has no kids, but nephews (his brother’s children) the exact same age as my daughters.
My ex hasn’t seen our kids in 7 years, he may call/text them once or twice a year. His wife was emotionally and mentally abusive, culminating in a judge revoking his visitation, and advising him, when he came to our city, he could visit the girls in a neutral environment.
He had moved 6 hours away and while he frequently comes to our city to visit other friends/family, he doesn’t try to see our girls.
My daughters are extremely close to my husband, so close that the family joke is “Daddy’s babies, Mommy’s maybe”, whenever they refer to their relationship with him.
Most people don’t even realize my husband is not their bio dad.
My oldest daughter and nephew recently graduated from high school, and my youngest daughter and nephew turned 16. The kids wanted a joint graduation/birthday party. The day before, my ex called me and asked if he could come to the party with his wife, stepson, and 2 new sons (my ex never told them he had more kids).
He wanted to introduce the kids and allow his wife to apologize. I told him he could come to the party, but it wasn’t the place for intros and apologies. He came with his stepson and his mother.
During the party, there was a video montage, which included pictures of the girls with my husband, his family, my family, and close friends, none of my ex or his family.
There were people at the party who didn’t realize my ex was their father and would ask him how he knew the graduates. Towards the end of the party, all the parents/grandparents were invited to speak on the graduates/birthday kids.
My husband invited my ex and his mom to the front to give speeches, but they refused. During the speeches, my SIL’s parents spoke about how my daughters completed the family, giving them granddaughters to spoil, and my sister said something similar about my nephews, b/c she always wanted me to have boys.
All of the kids got engraved pocket watches which is a tradition in my husband’s family. I happened to look at my ex, and he didn’t look happy. He and his family left the party shortly after.
The next day I got a long message in our Talking Parent app, basically stating I was a jerk, and that his family should have been included more.
He stated I embarrassed him as it seems as if he was basically erased from our kids’ lives. His family also bashed me on social media stating I was a bitter jerk trying to replace his family with my husband’s.
I never kept them from my ex or his family, but I am starting to wonder, AITJ?”
13. AITJ For Thinking My Daughters Have Enough Female Figures In Their Life?
“I (30M) am a father of 3 girls.
My wife passed 8 years ago when my youngest was 10 months old. My girls are 12, 11, and 9.
I love them dearly and they’re my whole world. It was a tough balancing act at first because I really struggled to not replace healthy adult interactions with them and make my entire identity “dad”.
My mother, my wife’s mother as well as my two younger sisters have always been there to provide strong female role models for my girls. I don’t imagine growing up without their mother has been easy but the women that they have in their lives to provide guidance are all fantastic and I’m truly blessed to have their help.
My cousin Emma (34F) moved back to our hometown, and her best friend from high school Amy (36F) and she have been around a lot. Emma’s a vet and a brilliant, hardworking woman. I’m really worried about screwing something up with my daughters because there are things that no matter how hard I try I’m not going to get right the first time because I’m a man with a man’s lived experiences and I don’t want my oldest to be a guinea pig for my first crack at parenting through things with her.
We were close as kids as well so having another friend around is good for me as she and I share a few interests I don’t share with other friends like hiking and rock climbing.
Amy started coming around and three things became apparent: 1) she’s got some issues regarding her own mother’s passing when she was young to work on.
2) she wants to be a “mother figure” the way my girls’ aunts and grandmothers are. 3) She’s a spoiled brat that’s always gotten what she wants.
I’m quite religious. I believe my wife is waiting for me in heaven and when my time comes I’ll be with her again.
I have no interest in romance with anyone other than her. This came to a head when Amy told me (not asked, told me) that I was taking her to a movie because she’d been dropping hints and I wasn’t picking them up.
I told her that I was flattered but not looking to see anyone and that I was busy with the girls that night even if I was. She seemed to take it well but an hour or so after she left with Emma she started texting me about how I’m a terrible father and that my daughters deserve to have a mother in their lives and that she knows from personal experience.
I told her not to come around anymore and blocked her. I told Emma as well who was horrified and apologized profusely for “bringing that evil” into my home.
I’m not going to go trawling for a mother for my girls but Emma suggested having one of my sisters live in the garden suite (this sister lives at home with our folks) and if she doesn’t want to, Emma would consider it in order to give the girls a “mom-figure on tap” as she put it.
I’m not too keen on this idea as the girls have never had difficulty getting support from their aunts or grandmothers but they’re also getting older and to be honest I’m wearing really thin. AITJ/WIBTJ for not trying harder to have a “mom” around for them?”
12. AITJ For Being Angry At My Family For Getting My Wife Cruel Gifts?
“My wife has severe OCD. It takes a toll on her and her self-esteem so much. She only goes to my family’s house when she has to. She and they aren’t very close.
My family has been over to my house multiple times and my wife is always cleaning, she will clean things 4,5,6 times sometimes more.
She will open and close the cabinets and fridge door or she will tuck in her hands to her sleeves like sweater paws whenever she opens a door. She will randomly get up from the table and do different things like fix the shoe rack, put out the dog’s leashes and collars in order, etc. It does not bother me, just something she can’t control.
Yesterday was her birthday. My family was adamant about coming over. My mom, brother, aunt, uncle, and younger sister. When we got to the present part, my wife opened them. And they explained what each was for.
1. Gloves, she needs to wear them all the time since she acts like she can’t open a door without them
2. Hand soap, since she washes her hands all the time and acts like she could die without it
3. Lotion because she washes her hands so much that they look disgusting
4. Cleaning supplies (three bags of it) since she’s always cleaning so much we got you some to clean our house.
We need a good cleaner.
My wife was holding back tears and I stopped them before they would give another crappy gift. My wife got up and went to the bathroom.
I told my mom that it’s ridiculous of her to do this when her own husband has OCD and she’s mocking it like a teenager.
I said as calmly as I could’ve said to get out. Mom pleaded saying it was just some fun. But I responded by saying no one is laughing but you jerks who can’t tell your behind from your elbow but have the nerve to mock a disorder so you can apologize and get the heck out of my house.
My aunt said that it wasn’t that big of a deal and nothing they said was wrong. I told her to stop talking to justify her actions and told them to get out which they did.
My wife was crying in the bedroom after this and it took a bit to get calm.
I got a few apologies but the majority of them said that it was a funny joke and that I was overreacting and that “insulting their intelligence” was also rude so we should be apologizing to each other.
My mother has been blowing up my phone saying that I shouldn’t have said that about her and that it wasn’t that serious.
I told my mom until my wife accepts her apology she’s not coming over and told my aunt, uncle and brother that they can get lost until I feel like dealing with 6th graders again.
My older sister has said that I was being rude and I should apologize to them because they didn’t mean any harm and clearly think it was just a joke.
The only people who are on my side are some of my cousins.”
11. AITJ For Not Waiting For Someone To Cover My Shift?
“I (19f) work the AM shift at a restaurant. At the end of my shift today, I got into it a little bit with one of the shift leads because I left my station to clock out without having a “cover.”
Let me explain a couple of things, first of all, I am always scheduled until 5 pm and the person who takes over my station is ALWAYS scheduled to be in by 4:00-4:30. This is fine, I stay in my station until 5 while they are usually in the back wandering around.
When it hits 5 I usually leave, because my shift is over and my ride is there. However, every single time it hits 5 I tell the person who is supposed to take over and they almost always ignore me or just say yeah and keep messing around or wandering.
I do not think this is my problem, I warn them that I’m leaving and it is their responsibility to take over after that.
I would also like to say that I never leave if there is a rush at that moment, I will stay and cook the extra 5-10 minutes until the rush is over.
Anyway, today the person that takes over came in at 4:25, I saw her and continued my job. At 4:50 I took the dishes from my dish bin back and saw her kissing the dish guy. It’s whatever, not my business but they stopped kissing when I walked in and I told her that I leave in 10 minutes, she said okay and I left. When it hit 5 there was a rush so I continued making the food while waiting for her to come take over my position, 10 minutes later she was still nowhere to be seen.
My ride was outside, I needed to leave so I asked one of my coworkers to tell her to take over the station. When my coworker came back he said that she just ignored him and kept talking. I was super mad, and I really needed to leave so I put everything down and told one of my managers who was doing nothing but standing around that I am leaving and my cover is sitting in the back talking.
This is where it got bad, he got mad and said that it is my responsibility to be there until my cover takes over and that I risk losing my job. I told him that I am leaving and that it is absolutely not my responsibility to wait if my cover is doing nothing but kissing and talking in the back.
I told him that I can’t and won’t force her. He got super mad and said that I’m letting my team down and 2 other shift leads agreed and said that it’s wrong of me to leave during rush, “no matter what”.
I was very very angry, and I told them that from now on I will not stay a single minute past 5. I will now only leave at my scheduled times. This caused a couple of people to get really upset at me and they said that I was a jerk for that and one of the shift leads said that he’s going to talk to the store manager about my “actions” today.”
10. WIBTJ If I Told My Brother That I Don't Like His Partner?
“I (22F) live at home with my parents and brother (19M).
For context; my brother is a difficult person to deal with. My parents have a few simple rules, and my brother tends to break these rules a lot and quite often thinks he is the man in the house, which causes conflict with my parents, but obviously, they love him very much.
Recently, he got into a relationship with S (17f). The conflicts he would have with my parents happened a lot more since he has been with her.
He told me some things about their relationship and made me promise not to tell our parents.
I kept my word for a while, but the things he told me shocked me.
S (and my brother) have a location app on their phone, so S can track him all the time. One night, he told her he didn’t have plans for the evening.
Later, his friend called him and invited him over. He went over, and after 30 minutes, he checked his phone and had 30 missed calls and 48 messages from S, calling him a liar and a two-timer because he went out without telling her.
Now he always has to let her know where he is.
She told him he can’t hang out with his 2 best girl friends because S should be the only girl in his life.
There is also the issue with my parents.
S told him that my parents’ number 1 priority is me because they love me more than him.
When she came over to our house the first time, my parents had been nothing but kind and welcoming to her. I asked my brother if she had a nice time the day after, and he told me that S said my mom had given her angry glances all day and that she had the feeling my parents did not like her.
The next time she came over, my parents, again, were nothing but kind and welcoming. After, my brother told me that S said my mother was overly nice and my father was a grump.
Now she also has an issue with me, apparently.
I have a cat, Lewis. Lewis was on my brother’s bed and S started petting him. My brother jokingly told S not to let me see, as I would be “jealous”. S replied, “why would I care what your freaking sister thinks?”
The final straw for me was when my brother told me that he wasn’t allowed to go to a bar with his friends, because there was a girl there that has a crush on him. S told him that if she found out he went there, she would castrate him.
I told my parents, and they were as shocked as I was. This girl is 17 years old and already controlling my brother’s life.
My brother is completely head over heels for her, and she has him wrapped around her little finger.
And me, knowing my brother deserves nothing but the best, can’t even stand looking at her, knowing that this is how she treats my brother.
He is so in love and blind to her toxic behavior.
WIBTJ if I confront my brother about his girl?”
9. AITJ For Being Annoyed With My Sister's Crying Baby And How She Sleep Trains?
“My sister and I have very different parenting techniques, but it’s never bothered me prior. We have different lives; we both do what works. This isn’t me crapping on sleep training before anyone accuses me of it.
My sister, her infant, and toddler are staying with us for a couple of weeks.
My BIL’s dad died and they’re staying in town for the grieving process. He’s staying with his mom, but her place isn’t big enough for all of them.
Before they arrived my sister told me the baby was still sleep training, and she apologized for any noise at night.
I told her I didn’t want him excessively crying and that if that’ll be an issue she should make alternative arrangements. She said he’d be fine.
They arrived, all was well, until she started his night routine. He fussed, as babies do, and started immediately crying.
She proceeded to check on him every ten minutes or so.
She’s using the Ferber method, so she checks on him every ten minutes to soothe, and then picks him up at the hour mark before redoing it all.
I was uncomfortable the whole time, and myself nor my kids slept very well.
Even after he’d fallen asleep he’d wake up a few times a night and cry, which in turn woke us up too.
The next day I told her I didn’t want to deal with that again. She apologized and said he’s usually down to an hour, which I then repeated I didn’t want to deal with.
That night she started up again and forty minutes in I told her she either hold her baby and calm him down or I will. She left him for another ten minutes, so I went in and soothed him. She was upset because I was disrupting their progress.
He went down pretty easy after that but still woke up for a cry a few times. The third night I said from the start that I wouldn’t be listening to him cry. If she let him cry and didn’t tend to him within ten minutes I’d tend to him.
I ended up soothing him most of that night, and yesterday I told her she either had to soothe him herself or they’d have to stay somewhere else because she wasn’t welcome to sleep train in my home.
She got upset, asked where they were going to go, I said I didn’t know.
Talk to my BIL’s family. Or she could simply soothe her baby through the night like I do.
She was notably really upset, but did soothe him last night. And no crying!
Still, things are incredibly tense, and our other sister (out of state) has told me I’m being inconsiderate.
She’s just lost her FIL and is obviously struggling.
I feel bad, but perhaps not as much as I should. I mostly feel bad for my nephew, despite knowing this is fine, and I’m definitely messing up their sleep training journey thus far.
AITJ?”
8. AITJ For Arguing With My Brother's Wife Over Paying Rent?
“I (18M) am the younger brother to “Will” (30M), my mother died of a heart issue when I was 5, and my father wasn’t the best person to me (maybe because of my mother dying, but that wasn’t an excuse for the things he was doing to me).
When I was 9 my brother went through a lot of court and custody trials to get a hold of me, and won in the end, partially due to the fact I was open about not wanting to stay with my dad.
When Will was 24, he got married to my current sister-in-law “Cara” (31F). Cara doesn’t really like me, not in an aggressive way, but she’s always treated me more like I was a guest, or visitor who had overstayed their welcome, even trying to move me to the couch after they had their NEWBORN son because ‘why should we get a new house when this one already has 2 rooms?’
Will was very adamant about the fact that we moved to have more room, so we did. He’s always treated me similarly to how he treats his son, with a bit more jokes/nonserious insults in the mix. He’s the only family I really have, and he’s good family too (my nephew of course is considered family too, and I do love him, but not in quite the same way I care about Will).
When I turned 16, I got a job because I didn’t want to be leeching off of the two of them, I work as a merchandise assistant, nothing amazing, but it pays. Cara has always had something to say about what I buy, about how I should’ve been saving, or that what I was buying was unimportant stuff (I do have a savings account, and I put some of every paycheck in there).
Now that I’ve turned 18, Cara is trying to make me pay rent, and it’s causing constant arguments between her and Will. Yesterday I got sick of it and told her that “I live here, I’ve lived here longer than you even, so why should I pay rent?
Not to add on to the fact that what I do with my money isn’t your business.”
It did stop the argument in all fairness, but Will also told me later I should’ve kept out of it, and now Cara keeps sending me dirty looks and sly comments every time she sees me, to the point I’ve just started eating out or in a different room so that the tension doesn’t boil over.
Idk, maybe I am the jerk and should just compromise with her to keep the peace, but it doesn’t feel fair. So, AITJ?
I only finished high school about a month ago, considering different universities right now. I turned 18 in February.”
7. AITJ For Wanting My Partner To Help Me Out With Lunch?
“My (26F) partner (26M) is from the US and lives with his family in another country (not mine but very close and culturally similar to mine).
I was visiting them during the summer for the first time. We all had dinner together but breakfast and lunches started to be a problem because he would fetch food for himself and not offer or tell me what was available for eating.
The moment I was not with him, reading or talking to his family, he would come out of the kitchen having already eaten. After a couple of times, I told him he could just let me know and we could make something for lunch together (I don’t expect him to cook for me) and he told me that in America people know how to ‘fend for themselves’ and I shouldn’t expect other people catering to my needs.
Here’s the problem, opening another person’s fridge and cupboards is considered rude in my culture unless you are super close, and I didn’t feel entitled to it because it was my first time meeting his parents. Still, since I had permission and I was hungry, I went to the fridge and found a wall of Tupperware that I didn’t know if I could take or not.
It could be leftovers, but also something ready for dinner or uncooked ingredients, and I felt uncomfortable scavenging around like a hungry raccoon, so I explained that to him, and that I’d rather have him tell me what I could eat or not, and we could eat together.
I ended up taking some fruit.
The next day, I tell him we could have some lunch since it was way past noon, and he tells me he had already eaten. I was livid, said nothing, checked the fridge, saw nothing that could become a sandwich, grabbed a pear, and went upstairs to cool down while eating like a hangry squirrel.
He came up with a plate of watermelon and said his dad was sending it because they realized I hadn’t eaten (I was so thankful). My partner’s mad at me because I ‘made a scene’ by ‘storming out’ and his parents noticed we were having an issue, and insists that I’m acting entitled and I was the jerk for storming out of the kitchen and being angry over something petty.
I talked about it with a couple of close friends and my brother and they fully agree with me because they know how awkward it would be in our culture to rummage around other family’s fridge. There are no stores nearby.
We are also very (I mean very) into feeding our guests, so when he was visiting me I wouldn’t do a whole “Be our guest” banquet every time, but I did make sure he never skipped a meal.
I realize this doesn’t give me the right to expect the same, but he knew where I was coming from.
I’m very thankful to his parents for cooking dinner and trying to participate as much as they’ll let me, but I feel lunch was his ‘task’ since we’re more than old enough.
We are much divided on this, and I feel maybe he’s right and I didn’t ‘fend for myself’ nor adapt my expectations to his culture.
AITJ for not getting food for myself and storming out?”
6. AITJ For Refusing To Have My Brother At My Wedding Because Our Relationship Is Damaged?
“My Fiancé (23M) and I (23F) made the mutual decision that my brother (19M) is not invited to our wedding.
Long story short, one of my brothers is a raging narcissist with severe youngest-child syndrome. He doesn’t have a job, doesn’t go to school, gets everything handed to him, and just sits around rent-free playing video games all day.
(Yes, my parents are huge enablers). He tends to be the center of family drama, especially when it comes to anyone giving him constructive criticism on how to get his life together. He has zero control of his temper, lashes out often, and throws extremely harsh and hurtful words around, causing emotional damage to others.
And you guessed it, he NEVER takes responsibility for his actions.
Last September he had a major blow-up towards everyone in the family, but has since repaired relationships with everyone except for my fiancé and me. For more context, we are closest in age to him and have even let him live with us in the past for months at a time.
My brother also had a strong bond with my fiancé prior to this blow-up. They would regularly hang out and he often turned to him for advice/support. We’ve always just wanted the best for him but somehow we’re the villains in his story.
The last time we spoke was on Christmas when our family tried to get us to work things out, but it just ended in more arguing and lots of tears. This is also when he told me that he essentially doesn’t want a relationship with me and “is fine with only having to see me at family events.” To which I responded that I will respect his wishes, but just know that means he will not be invited to my wedding.
Cut to today, 6 months later, and we still have not spoken or resolved things. We are 87 days out from the wedding and my dad is extremely adamant that my brother and his partner need to be invited. The rest of my family has come to terms with my and my fiancé’s decision, but I knew my dad would be difficult.
He claims that it’s my responsibility to fix this because it’s my wedding, I’m the older sibling, and all family needs to be present. I disagree.
I have made it very clear that if my brother wants to be at my wedding, then he needs to make the effort of initiating a conversation.
We have a lot we need to work through first before I would be comfortable having him there. My dad and I have had many arguments about my brother over the years, and I know this will only get worse the closer we get to wedding day.
I know I’m a stubborn person and can be quick to cut people out.. but with how our relationship is right now I don’t even want him at my wedding. What’s the point in having someone there that you don’t even speak to?
So, AITJ for not inviting him even though he’s family? Is it my responsibility to fix this?”
5. AITJ For Being Disappointed In My Friend For Turning Down An Offer I Got For Her?
“I (28M) have been best friends with Jane (28F) since we were single-digit kids. We attended the same school K-12, took each other to prom, went to the same University, and lived together.
We genuinely treat each other as family and support each other as such. Our lives post-university have taken two different paths. I moved back home and have invested in my career, and am the Snr Mgr of Engineering for the largest tech employer in our region.
She has had trouble settling down geographically and also with a career.
Jane is being faced with the reality of having to be a working single mother to a 1-year-old. She is coping and has decided on learning programming. She has done well and is making progress.
3 weeks ago I asked if she would be interested in a position at my company on one of my teams. I could make a junior role for her with an advancement path. 80K base + 20k var starting. Fully remote. She was ecstatic and expressed interest.
I got to work creating the role and selling her as the preferential applicant. One of my senior devs agreed to mentor her, and I even applied for a comp adjustment since they’re taking on a training role. I cleared the job with Jane as the applicant with HR, CTO, and CEO.
Honestly, she isn’t qualified for this.
I spoke to Jane last night to relay the good news! As long as she can finish her 3-month course by Jan, the job is hers. Surprise for me was that Jane is now turning her back on the offer.
She won’t commit to finishing her course in the next 6 months and was stressing how difficult it is to study and take care of her son. She thinks she will be beaten out by other applicants. This is where I made my ‘mega man-slip’.
I told her the only applicant we have is an already full-time hire in another dept who is also self-studying. She can beat him if she commits to the time, and “arguably you have more hours in a day than him”.
This set her off where she educated me on the struggles of a single mother and she firmly denied the offer. I listened. I didn’t interrupt. I didn’t argue. When she finished I told her this was a good opportunity she was passing up, she shouldn’t let it slip, sleep on it for a bit and come back to me later with her decision.
She said she was always tired (which I interpreted as her saying sleeping on the issue won’t change her mind) so I responded that I’m being serious and her response towards the offer was disappointing to hear.
I think this poked a nerve since she turned it into an argument claiming that I can’t judge her as a disappointment (I didn’t), and that she doesn’t want to work in an environment that doesn’t understand the challenges women face.
She was scared that her friend knows her situation but is “being super capitalist” about it.
She says I’m the jerk for not apologizing and being unrealistic over her situation. Bid me good night and said I made our relationship weird now.
I have not rescinded the offer since I want to help her, but I feel like I should.
To clarify my friend has been unemployed for 3 years. She is living off her parents and her son’s father’s support.”
Friendships grow and change. Looks like Jane has changed into someone whose goals aren't what you thought they were. Just go low contact with her for a while and let her cool off.
4. AITJ For Uninviting My Bad Friends From My Family's Beach House And Forcing Them To Waste Their Vacation?
“I (23F) had a group of friends of 6 who have known each other since high school. Despite college, we’ve always kept in touch and have a group chat for us. And every mid-year vacation, we would spend a week at my family’s beach house and it has always been a tradition for 7 years.
Currently, most live in the same city or live in a nearby city.
I had been away from the group for a few months because of personal problems (depression and anxiety). But after I got better, I started to speak normally again, but I felt that things were weird in the group (very quiet and it was never like that).
The only person who stayed very close to me and never changed the treatment was my best friend Fer (F).
2 weeks ago, there was a fight between Fer and the rest of the group, I didn’t understand the reason at first, but she told me that she found out that the others had created another group and gone out together without calling me, they ended up excluding her because I was too close to her.
Last week was our trip, I sent a message to everyone (13 days before) in this group saying that I don’t feel comfortable opening my family’s beach house to them and that everyone was uninvited.
This generated a mess, some said they asked for a week of vacation in the service for this weekend and it was way too late to schedule something, others tried to justify by saying that I was too dense to deal with and that they made this group for me not to feel bad.
They also said that they had already given me the money for the purchases (I sent it as soon as they said each part). And that it was a mean thing to do for something so small.
I held on and I went to my family’s house with Fer and my parents decided to accompany us.
It was really nice.
Since I came back, they have been telling me that I was very petty to cancel our trip and some said that they spent their vacation for nothing because of me and dared to say that I should pay for this period that they gave up because they could not take it off those days later.
And they said that I should understand because I was very difficult to understand, to deal with (as if depression/anxiety was a choice). But it’s unanimous that everyone was calling me a jerk.
I’m a little unsure, so I’d like an outside opinion.
AITJ?”
3. AITJ For My Feud With My Sister's Bio Sisters?
“My sister is adopted. Her mom knew my parents when she was young and pregnant, she knew they were looking to become parents and went through legal channels for my parents to adopt my sister. She wrote my sister a letter explaining her reasoning and told her she will always be there if she wants contact, but if not she wanted the most beautiful life for her.
I was born 2.5 years after the adoption. My sister and I have always been the best of friends, the closest of sisters, and we adore each other. She really struggled with the decision to make contact with her birth mother.
She never wanted anyone to think our parents weren’t good enough or weren’t her “real parents”. I encouraged her to talk to them and they reassured her. They said anyone who looked at it like that could screw off. So she made contact and found out she had two half-sisters that her mom later had.
It’s been more than two years since the first contact was made, but there was a while where they didn’t meet. She did FaceTime and stuff. So did me and my parents. Her birth mom seems really amazing and has been really cool about everything.
But the half-sisters, who are 13 and 15, have been difficult, to say the least. They are very clearly jealous of my relationship with my sister. They have brought up how they’re her “real sisters” and stuff along that line. Their mom freaked out when she heard them say it and my sister was quick to step in and say I was her sister.
It never really got better. They were placed in therapy and their mom kept apologizing.
For my sister’s birthday a little while ago she invited them over to our parents’ for a low-key dinner. The girls started saying that crap to me again, and some other stuff about how they would make their sister forget all about me.
I ignored them. I didn’t react. Didn’t even acknowledge they were beside me, saying anything. It was like they weren’t in the room. And they did not like that. So they yelled about how I was not her sister and would never be her sister and I wasn’t wanted so I should just leave.
Their mom went off. Then my sister told her birth mom to leave and take the girls with her. She told them she was not going to talk to them anymore because she doesn’t feel like it’s working and that if they ever want to know her, they have to accept I am her sister.
They were devastated and I think they were really caught off guard. They said it was all my fault.
Logically, I know it’s not. Part of me does feel bad and wonders if ignoring them instead of just walking away or telling them to stop maybe drove it to a point of no return.
AITJ?”
2. AITJ For Letting My Brother Refer To Himself As My Baby's Grandfather?
“I (23M) just had my first child with my Fiancée, it’s a healthy 2-weeks-old boy, we are over the moon and my brother (38M) referred to himself as my child’s “grandpa”.
Some context: I have a twin sister, our parents split when we were 2 months old because dad had an affair.
My mom (58) is a doctor so she barely had time for us, and our dad (57) acted more like a distant relative to us and was randomly in the picture. My sister and I love our brother because despite his young age he was the real parental figure we had, he played with us, he took us to school, he made lunch for us, he would say I love you to us, he was at every school activity, he took us to the park, he would stand next to our bed when we were sick, he’d calm us down when we were scared. I mean he didn’t provide financially (my dad and mom were responsible for that department) he provided with love and care.
Even today, he calls me constantly to know how I’m doing like he always takes this protective and fatherly role on us, I’ve told him to relax and rest since we are no longer kids but he still acts like a dad.
I called him papa up until I was 9 and I understood that he was just my brother and we were “equals”.
My son was born two weeks ago and he came to see him, he took a picture of my son and posted it on his social media (my fiancée and I agreed to let him), and the caption read: A proud “grandpa” of his “grandson-phew”.
I mean he quoted the words, it’s not like he was trying to mislead people.
My dad was furious (He and my dad have a rocky relationship since he never forgave him for the affair) and demanded that I correct him since that title belongs to him and my brother was just trying to steal that experience from him (My brother didn’t let him meet his children).
So I said no, he earned the title and he wasn’t even trying to mislead people.
My brother’s husband believes that it’d be better to delete the picture or edit the caption to avoid confrontation but my brother refuses and I’m on his side.
My dad came to meet his grandchild but didn’t say a word to me, my sister says I’m the jerk because my dad provided financially and paid for my, my sister’s, and my brother’s education which proves that he “cared” about us.
So tell me AITJ?”
1. AITJ For Hating Living With My Best Friend?
“My BFF and I have been planning to get an apartment since December of 2021. We paid the application fee and the deposit to hold the apartment, but problems started to arise right before we moved into our apartment.
She did her taxes, blew her loan of $500 on the tax card, and didn’t have enough for the deposit and rent.
She told me to ask my partner to move in so I did. Long story short, she still didn’t have enough so my partner and I had to pay the rest. $3030 in total and she only paid $704. Ridiculous. She even had to call people to borrow funds, because she spent so much.
Before we moved in I had taken us to IKEA to buy things and guess who ended up paying for most of the necessities? My partner and me! Almost $600 worth of stuff for the kitchen, bathrooms, and bedrooms. The same thing can be said about the cleaning supplies and groceries which is insane.
To this day, my partner and I still pay for a majority of the groceries.
I had gotten into a car accident last month, gotten 5 stitches in my chin, a swollen wrist, and unfortunately lost my unborn baby as a result.
Oh boy was she glad to hear that, because she had been so negative ever since I told her that my partner and I were trying to conceive. All she said was “I’m so sorry, maybe now you can get on birth control”.
Words can’t express how infuriated I was. She was more upset when I said I was 2 months along, saying I quote “You guys will struggle without me, have no money, and no life.” She also said her dreams of having her own place are crushed. I think she was more concerned about not being able to borrow from us since our finances would be going to our baby… Cruel and Selfish?
I know.
I decided it would be nice to adopt a cat or two to distract myself but she instantly claimed ownership before I even adopted one. “I’m by myself and lonely in my room, you have your partner so you’re okay but I’m not… Blah blah blah.” Who paid for that?
My partner and me. Insurance and adoption fees. I’m sick and tired of putting forth so much and she just takes advantage of everything.
She constantly asks my partner for funds (I told him to say no because she already owes him and she owes me too), blowing her money on $200 wigs.
She complains about her romantic life to the both of us while she shuffles different men in the house every other week, and blasts her music in the morning at 6:00 while we’re still sleeping since she’s an “early bird”.
My last straw was her complaining about us not taking out the trash on her “time” the other day. The trash was half full and we were trying to use up everything we can because we keep getting financially strained because of her.
I will have a conversation with her about it once she comes home. I don’t really feel like dealing with the gaslighting, guilt-tripping, or anger from her right now, but it needs to be done.”
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