People Want To Gather Honest Insights Into Their "Am I The Jerk?" Stories
37. AITJ For Not Lending My Sister Money?
“My (F 29) sister (F 24) is always looking for money. I don’t know where hers goes as she works a good job and doesn’t pay rent as she lives with my parents, but she is always asking for a hundred dollars here and there so she can go out with her friends to whichever restaurant/bar is popular at the time.
I used to give her some money here and there because I thought I was being nice, but since having a baby and having all the related expenses, I don’t want to spend money on someone else’s social outing.
My sister was having dinner with my husband (M 30) and me last night and came over early so we could spend time together and chat.
At some point, she mentioned some new rooftop place she was dying to try but she had no spare funds and asked if I could lend her some. I said no, and said she should learn to be more responsible with her money. We left it at that and the conversation moved on.
Now, important to note, earlier in the day I had been cleaning and found an unpaid traffic fine on my husband’s desk.
I knew about the fine but assumed it had been paid, so while I was standing there, I quickly paid for the ticket. No big deal.
When my husband arrived home, he said hello to everyone and then told me that he had received an email saying the fine had been paid. He thanked me, and I said it wasn’t a drama.
Rather that than a late fee.
My sister immediately got on her high horse and said that I clearly was able to help ‘some people’ but I never had some spare money for her. She said I was picking and choosing who was deserving of my money, and it was clearly never her. She refused to stay for dinner and left.
I texted her afterward saying that my and my husband’s finances were a decision as a couple, and her dinners out were not something I wanted to fund. She hasn’t responded, but my dad (M 62) texted telling me I was being too hard on her and she just wanted to enjoy her young years. I told him he could fund the dinners if he wanted, and now he isn’t talking to me either.
Maybe I am being a bit rough, seeing as no one is talking to me except my husband. So, was I the jerk?”
36. AITJ For Turning Down A Guy In Front Of My Family?
“I (16) female am openly into girls, I am into guys too but mostly girls and most of my family knows but my dad tries to make it his mission to find a way to prove that I am completely into guys. I’ve told him multiple times that I like guys but I am mainly into girls and I’ve even been in a relationship with a girl for 4 months.
He won’t accept that and has tried to set me up with multiple different guys. Each time I politely rejected them in private so as to not embarrass them.
But around 3 weeks ago my dad introduced me to his friend’s son who’s a year younger than me. I don’t have a problem with that it’s just that I am not into him and I am in a relationship.
I am gonna call the guy Trey. Trey has been nonstop following me everywhere trying to convince me to give him a chance after I kept telling him no. Yesterday he crossed the line, we had a family gathering at my dad’s house with my entire family and my dad’s friend with Trey, my significant other was also there.
I tried to avoid him as best as I could but I couldn’t because I had to eat with everybody. Right before everybody started to eat Trey asked for everybody’s attention and very loudly asked me to be his SO. I looked at him angrily because my SO was sitting there looking shocked while my dad sat looking happy.
At that point, I was so annoyed I snapped and yelled at him ‘I DON’T LIKE YOU AND NEVER WILL IF YOU CAN’T TELL I AM IN A RELATIONSHIP AND LOVE HER SO LEAVE ME ALONE, YOU CREEP’.
After that, everybody went silent and he left the gathering. My dad was mad at me and told me to go home and don’t come back until I was ready to apologize to Trey.
In my defense, I told him multiple times that I wasn’t interested but he couldn’t take the hint, my SO told me that I did the right thing but half the family is calling me a jerk. So am I in the wrong here?”
35. AITJ For Telling My Daughter The Reality About Being A Parent?
“My (52M) daughter Amanda (27F) and her husband Chris (25M) married a few months ago. Amanda has lived on her own since college but still is in the general area. Currently, Amanda and Chris aren’t that focused on their future, mostly on having fun and doing things ‘while they’re still young.’ There’s nothing wrong with that, in my opinion, and I think that young people should have that kind of period in their lives, especially after the global crisis.
I got a call from Amanda. She and Chris told me how they have taken several tests and confirmed that Amanda is pregnant! They would be hosting an announcement dinner but wanted immediate family to know right away. They could barely wait as they had been trying since they were married. (Note that this was an intended pregnancy) I told them I was thrilled to be a grandpa.
The dinner party happened last week and the announcement was met with only happiness and excitement. Chris and Amanda were talking to a friend and Chris made a comment along the lines of ‘Good thing that Bobby (me) will while we’re at work!’ I was confused and asked what they were talking about.
Amanda revealed that she and Chris were expecting me to always watch the baby while they were working and so they could have ‘fun time’ while not working.
Now I love my children and will never regret being their dad. But I didn’t sign up for a new baby. I am done with all that.
I want to enjoy my retirement and be free without any underage children. I explained this to Amanda and Chris, and also that there are many great daycare options in the area.
Amanda began to cause a scene because ‘You told me you were thrilled to be a grandpa!’ I responded that exactly, I was thrilled to be a ‘grandpa’, not a parent to this baby.
She said that I should help out since I don’t have to worry about working (I receive a pension) and that she’s young and these are supposed to be the best years of her life, and she thinks it’s unfair that she and Chris’s life should ‘be all about a baby.’
I was very frank and responded ‘Amanda, of course, you and Chris’s life is going to ‘be all about a baby.’ That’s what it means to be a parent. You should not have gotten pregnant if you just expected someone else to raise YOUR child.’ Amanda yelled at me ‘Don’t be surprised when I put you in a trashy nursing home’.
My son, Michael, says that I was harsh in my delivery but not my message. My son, Nathan, agreed that Amanda and Chris are expecting too much and it was irresponsible to purposely get pregnant when they believe they don’t have time to raise a baby. My sister, Sandra, however, told me my comment was ‘callous and misogynistic’ and I haven’t raised a newborn in twenty years and don’t realize how much harder being a parent has gotten.
And I can agree to start providing at least four days of childcare per week then go from there. Multiple family members agree with Sandra, so I am looking for some unbiased perspectives here. AITJ?”
34. AITJ For Blaming My Sister For How Our Relationship Turned Out?
“Since my sister turned 13, and I was 12, she has been in and out of mental health hospitals, because she wanted to be in them (her words, not mine). The first couple of times, I was there through everything, even when she said terrible things to me.
In my younger years, I asked her why she kept going back to these institution-type places and she said it was to get away from me, so I finally understood that I was not wanted.
I told my mom I was done visiting her and she accepted my decision.
Fast forward to a few years later, (not now), my sister regularly keeps in contact with my grandma, and from what I hear, she calls from random phone numbers, but my number and my mom’s number have been the same for years, meaning she can call us whenever she wants.
She and my grandma talk all the time. She doesn’t talk to us (my mom and me) at all. I have no problems with that, when I turned 15, I accepted that. Now, she called a couple of days ago and we talked. I didn’t even bring up anything from the past, and I am going to be honest, it felt nice talking to her.
Then she ghosts me again, and I am texting her, but she leaves me on read, and I ask my grandma if she’s heard from ‘Trina’ at all and she says ‘Yes. I thought this time would be different y’know.’
Today she called and I answered, this was how the conversation went:
Trina: What’s wrong?
You seem sad.
Me: I am fine.
Trina: Why aren’t we close anymore?
Me: I don’t know
Trina: Surely you must know.
Me: Maybe it’s because of you.
Trina: What?
Me: It’s your fault we don’t talk, to be honest. I tried to keep communication going, but you ignored me.
Trina: I am going to hang up.
Then an hour or so goes by and my grandma calls me fuming. She says Trina called her crying and saying that I called her a terrible sister (which I didn’t) and that it’s her fault we don’t talk.
I admit, it was wrong to snap at my grandma since she is my elder, but I am so tired of her always taking Trina’s side.
I told her ‘It’s true, if Trina wanted to talk to me so bad, she would actually answer my calls and texts, that I, as the younger sister shouldn’t have to always be the one chasing after her.’
My grandma called me a jerk then hung up. My mom says that what I did was right and that I have the right to express my feelings, but I just wanted to make sure.
AITJ?”
33. AITJ For Canceling My Best Friend's Gender Reveal Party?
“My childhood best friend (20F) is pregnant with her first baby (due in September) and was very excited to involve me (20F) in her life as a new mom. As her long-term best friend, I was very happy for her and excited to welcome this baby into the world. Very early on in the pregnancy, she told me she wanted me to throw her a gender reveal party.
I agreed and figured I could find a new job to fund this party because I am a student in college and do not have the budget to throw parties the way her family very often does. Aside from that, I come from a small family that has never been able to do things like this since it’s not a necessity and my mom has always stressed how we should watch our spending because our necessities are our priority.
So, when I told my mom I’d be finding a new job for this, she told me I had no reason to throw another responsibility on myself just because my friend wanted something from me. I brushed it off, but after a few weeks, I mentioned to my friend that the party would have to wait until June.
She exploded on me about how I don’t understand her as a new mom and how important this gender reveal party is to her, and that just rubbed me the wrong way.
I canceled the party on her since she didn’t want to accommodate to my schedule due to class finals and being busy with school until June, and she just wasn’t having it.
She told me my mom could just throw the party and when I explained that she couldn’t throw the party because it was not her responsibility, she said I was probably using my mom’s money for it anyway and that I didn’t have to be there if I didn’t want to be a supportive friend.
Within the hour she called my mom asking to speak to her in private and when my mom told her I was in the car with her, she texted me asking to have a ‘temporary break’ from our friendship and had her entire family block me on all social media.
Out of the heat of the moment, I told her I wanted it to be a permanent break and for her to never consider contacting me again because I felt her and the family’s actions were unjustified and absolutely selfish.
Yes, some time has passed since all of this happened but recently I haven’t been able to shake the feeling that I am the jerk because, at the end of the day, she was pregnant and going through hormone changes which I’d assume can change someone’s thought processes a fair amount and a good handful of people never forget to remind me of this any time her name comes up in conversation.
So, am I the jerk?”
32. AITJ For Expecting To Get Paid For The Project My Mom Asked Me To Do?
“We are a pretty privileged family, around upper middle class, so we have never really struggled to pay for things and have always been able to go on fun vacations, shopping trips, etc.
Today I, (minor, f) was talking to my Mom, who I’ll just call M. She tells me that she signed up for, and is in charge of creating our town’s spirit shirt this year for football season and that she was super nervous about it. I sat with her for a good ten minutes discussing possible slogans or designs and we ended up choosing 4, all of which were stuff like ‘The harder the fight the sweeter the victory’.
She had asked me to use my artistic ability and my Photoshop app to create some possible t-shirts based on the designs we had picked out. I said okay, thinking this would be a simple thing and maybe I would get paid a couple of bucks when the thing was done. I ended up spending a good hour and a half on a cohesive layout of the designs, with every design shown on each of 3 different colored t-shirts.
It was tricky especially because I had to cut out words in cursive, create new ideas based on old ones, and build a football DNA drawing.
After I was done I sent M the results and she responded pretty promptly. The text was just asking for things to be changed, boxes cut out, different colors, and all that.
I said okay and this was the point I asked about the pay. I wasn’t, pushy just a simple ‘What will I be getting paid for this’. She told me that this was an honor to girls and that there would be no pay. I was very confused and asked her if she knew how long it took to do this and how much work I was putting in for her.
She said fine don’t do it and that she wasn’t asking much, so I didn’t. I went along with my day and put it out of my mind.
Well, she asks me how I am doing in the project. I told her I wasn’t doing it currently because I was told there would be no pay and I knew I wasn’t going to be credited publicly.
She was very upset. She said I can forget about fun trips and hot meals because I couldn’t do anything for her. I talked a little more with her and let her know that it didn’t need to be a large sum, it didn’t even need to be a sum, just that I needed credit or to be acknowledged for my work.
She claimed I was raised a Christian and shouldn’t care about that stuff and only helping others. I think that I deserve something for my work, she wouldn’t treat an employee like this. I wasn’t the one who signed up for this job. I do feel bad though. Am I just being greedy?
Am I the jerk?”
31. AITJ For Not Wanting To Go On Our Family Vacation?
“So for the past three years, my family has been coming to this one city in the mountains my dad really likes.
There is literally nothing to do here except hike, fish, and go for an arctic plunge in a lake. I don’t really like fishing and I have some issues with my knee and back so I can’t walk more than a few blocks without pain, which is something that I’ve been asking to go to the doctor for but they think I am faking it.
Last year there was a traumatic incident here and so I really didn’t want to return, but my parents didn’t care so they forced me to come for the full week. I’ve struggled with depression for about 6 years now and I was finally getting it under control at home. I am also attempting to recover from a binge eating disorder and ARFID, another eating disorder (yay!).
I had finally gotten into a rhythm at home that was helping a lot, and I begged not to go on this trip. I am fairly independent and my aunt is close by, but I am still a minor so they said no.
Now that I am here they’re expecting me to be all chipper and happy, and they seem to be under the impression I will be going for hikes and going fishing all of next week.
I finally broke and yelled at them that making me come along when I was struggling already was a selfish move and I was begging to leave before we even got here. My mother’s response was that I was being selfish because my dad works so much he deserves a break. He works about 8 hours a day from home, and he doesn’t even need to do it for that long.
I rarely get to spend time with him because if I talk to him I get yelled at and berated. I pointed out that he doesn’t exactly do anything for me even though I am his kid and I need help, AITJ?”
30. AITJ For Telling My Cousin's Friends About His Dad's Passing?
“My uncle ‘John’ (57M) unexpectedly passed away a week ago. His son ‘John Jr’ (23M) hasn’t taken a moment to grieve his father whom he was very close. The two were inseparable, John jr often referred to his dad as his best friend and was basically a carbon copy of him. So I was expecting John to be devastated at the loss of his dad but it’s actually the opposite.
John Jr. went to work two days after his dad died. My uncle died early on a Sunday morning. John Jr. works with my partner and he went to work on Tuesday morning. At the wake and funeral (Thursday+ Friday) he treated it like a family reunion chatting up everyone and anyone. But the final straw was at the funeral he was talking to me and reaffirmed his commitment to go meet his college friends down the shore for the 4th.
Every year he and his friends from school throw a big party on the beach. I thought he would skip this year given that his dad died but apparently not.
Obviously, my cousin’s lack of a grieving process was disturbing so I texted his best friend to essentially say ‘Are you sure it’s a good idea for John to still go to the beach party’.
It turns out he didn’t even tell his friends about his dad’s passing. I found it weird that none of them came to the funeral to support him but chalked it up to his friends largely living out of state but nope he didn’t even bother to tell them.
He sent me a long rant about how I violated his privacy by texting his friends and that they are now making him feel uncomfortable about going to the shore.
He concluded by thanking me for ruining his 4th of July. AITJ for being alarmed that my cousin hasn’t grieved his dad?”
29. AITJ For Having A "High Standard" Of Cleanliness?
“I (28F) and my partner of 2 years (44M) moved in together 1 year ago, and we had an argument about it some days ago. He tried to make me understand his point of view, but I am not sure I can accept it.
When I was living alone, I would do the daily chores such as cleaning dishes and doing my laundry, plus the chores of a room by week (first week of the month, bathroom, second week, living room, and so on). It’s a way for me to have a clean house without doing too much at one time, and when guests come, I don’t have to clean absolutely all in a rush.
I tried to keep this way of doing things little by little when we moved in together but it has been hard since then. If I don’t start cleaning he will not start either, and he will not do the chores until it’s critical. For example, he will only do laundry if he doesn’t have any clean undergarments, but never more, even if bed sheets need to be washed too, that’s apparently up to me.
This example applies to dishes, laundry, doing the dust, vacuuming, taking out the trash, and every daily chore.
I made lists, giving him one whole week to do the room chores he ‘has to’ do, reminding him, and I don’t even put as many chores as I do for myself for the same room, but he just won’t do it.
I talked to him about this, as it’s becoming an issue, and he explained to me this: as I have higher cleaning standards than him, it’s hard for him to meet my standards. As he tolerates more dirt than me, he needs to meet my standards (I lowered it for him but even so) so it adds more mental load to him than if he was living alone, so he has a hard time following my planning.
The thing is, we are two human beings together, and I can’t do it alone. As I listened to his point of view, I had a hard time accepting it as a right excuse not to do at least 3/4 of what I do. Am I the jerk for not being more tolerant and accepting his point of view?”
28. AITJ For Being Mad At My Mom For Inviting Us To Her "Life Celebration" Dinner?
“I (28m) am happily married to my wife Sara (31). We have been together for over 6 years and married for 3 years. My mother Laura (45) had me pretty early on. She always wanted a big family and has been with my dad since they were 14. After she had me, she decided to be a stay-at-home mother and in a space of the next 10 years had a total of 7 kids, so I have loads of siblings.
She has recently announced that I am to become a brother again.
Sara and I have been struggling to conceive for the past three years. We really would like to have a kid together and considered surrogacy, but my family kinda talked us out of it, saying we shouldn’t trust our child to some unknown woman.
I have suggested my mother or my sister become our surrogate if they are that worried, but both of them declined saying that they can’t have any more children and won’t be able to carry (my sister has 5 kids). And just to note I love Sara regardless if we have a child or not and am willing to adopt, but she really wants us to have our own.
Sara and I have tried a lot of options and recently unfortunately she had another miscarriage and this was really upsetting and depressing for both of us. I have shown my support and my mother, who knew about all of our struggles and recent miscarriage, invited us out for dinner at her house yesterday, which Sara wanted to attend as she has a very good relationship with my mother.
My entire family was there and the dinner was going well, Sara congratulated my mother on her pregnancy and I thought that would be it. Then my sister announced that she was pregnant again and basically, she and my mother ended up having the ‘baby talk’ really loudly where my sister was excited to have another brother and my mother having another grandchild.
That was too much for Sara, so she got up and left in tears and I followed her shortly after. She had to cut off her family because they kept telling her she was not a woman for not being able to have children and was too old and this got to her too much.
After we got home my mother called me and said Sara behaved very rudely and she was expecting an apology as it ‘has ruined the dinner to celebrate life’. I got angry and told her that she was completely out of line and inconsiderate for having the baby talk with my sister when she knew Sara had another miscarriage and her ‘life celebration’ dinner made things a lot worse for both Sara and me.
I have also said that if she told us what the dinner was we would not have come. In the end, I was called a jerk for ‘not appreciating another life being born’.
AITJ?
Edit: My mother has told me and Sara that the dinner was to support her after the miscarriage. In no way or form did she mention this being about a ‘celebration of life’, pregnancy announcement, fertility lottery, and babies.
If it was the case and we were aware of it we wouldn’t have come.”
27. AITJ For Snapping At My Friend For Always Trying To Set Me Up With Her Friends?
“I (19F) don’t like men. I don’t like women either. I have never been romantically interested in anyone in my whole life. Never wanted to go out with someone. Never ever ever. The same goes for intimacy. Never been attracted to anyone, never wanted to sleep around. You can think of intimacy and relationships as going to the mall for me.
I technically can take part in them but simply prefer not to.
I have been friends with a girl all throughout high school and uni, let’s call her Emma. Emma is a very pretty girl and has always been interested in handsome men and going on dates and hookups rather than her studies. Good for her, because she has been living her best life.
What has always disturbed me, however, is that she always tried to get ME involved in relationships and hookups. She told me that I can never be sure which gender I like and don’t like if I don’t try being with them. So I tried, and, as expected, I hated it.
Anyways, Emma always tried to arrange me with her guy friends, but she was specifically obsessed with one of them.
Let’s call him Dean. Dean has liked me for a VERY long time, and by very I mean years. He sent me love poems, chocolates, flowers, all that stuff. I just didn’t want to go out with him and constantly told him that. The dude just never took no for an answer and continued to send me his love letters and occasionally try to ask me out, to which I said no every time.
However, although Emma knew my whole thought process about attraction and relationships, she constantly has been trying to arrange me with Dean. For years. She always tried to set up secret dates with him, asking him out on my behalf without my knowledge and sending him false information about ‘how I find him so handsome’ and ‘we would be a great couple together.’
The last straw was a couple of days ago. Emma called me while I was preparing for my Electromagnetism exam (the hardest course of the year) two days before the test, saying that it was a medical emergency and I had to come to an address as soon as possible. So I did. There was no medical emergency.
This was just a petty attempt to arrange me on a date with Dean, who was there and smirking right at me. That’s when I snapped and told Emma ‘Is letting me live my life THAT hard?’ and called her insensitive for trying to set me up with random dudes all the time knowing that I don’t want to go out with any of them.
I yelled at her for a solid 10 minutes then turned to Dean. I didn’t yell at him but calmly said ‘Your interest in me is turning into harassment. If you’re that obsessed with me, I suggest you see a therapist,’ and left.
Since then, our mutual friends from high school have been talking trash about me saying that I insulted my friend of years and a guy who very innocently loves me, and now I kinda feel guilty because I snapped at them.
AITJ in this situation?”
26. AITJ For How I Reacted After My Daughter's Best Friend And Her Dad Picked Her Up Without Telling Me?
“My teenage daughter is going through various phases at the moment. She told us she was gay last year and her father and I both told her we support her and we just want her to be happy.
Fast forward to this summer: she has spent every day having her father and I drive her back and forth to see her friends. With the price of gas lately ( and well everything in general) we asked her to maybe scale it back to every other day. I am not sure if this is what triggered the drama that ensued…
But, she told a big lie to her friend that my husband and I ‘threw her out for being gay’.
My daughter snuck out at 1 AM and her friend’s father came and picked her up and brought my child to their house. I woke up the next morning in a sheer panic believing my daughter was kidnapped or worse.
I called her friend’s parents and they confirmed she was indeed there. AITJ for being absolutely livid that these people did not call me?
I just feel this is so wrong. My daughter admitted that she lied. Yet, they still did not call me. I am trying to listen and find out why she felt the need to do this without judgment.
I know it is hard being a teen. I am torn as to where to go from here. I don’t want to keep my daughter from seeing her friend but I simply don’t trust her parents anymore. So I don’t want my child at their house anymore. Her friend was screaming at us, calling us horrible names and implying we were bigots, which is simply untrue.
So her friend coming here would be awkward, to say the least.
Through it all, I am not mad at my daughter at all. Kids do weird things and I see it as a cry for attention or help and that I am not listening enough. I just can’t get over the fact that a grown man who knows my child has a good home with loving parents, would pick up my child in the middle of the night without calling me.
AITJ? Am I overreacting?”
25. AITJ For Refusing To Give My Daughter's College Fund To My Stepson?
“My husband and I have been together for seven years, married for five. He has a son and a daughter from his previous marriage (18 and 13) and we have a four-year-old daughter together. Although we have some shared expenses, for the most part, we keep our finances separate. Custody is shared 50/50 between my husband and his ex regarding the older kids.
Long story short, my oldest stepson graduated a couple of weeks ago. He’s only ever wanted to go to one school which happens to be a very specialized and hence very expensive university out of state.
He applied, was accepted, and got a decent but not phenomenal scholarship from the school itself. Meanwhile, my husband has been encouraging him to look into additional scholarships and potentially ROTC or Air National Guard to help with the remainder of the expenses.
My husband’s company went under a couple of years ago and he is just beginning to recover financially so paying out of pocket for his son’s tuition is simply not an option.
Unfortunately for Stepson, his focus here lately has been on his new partner and not his academics and scholarships, and unfortunately he’s decided his dad is an idiot when it comes to scholarships and military service and that he’ll figure it out on his own.
All fine and good except for the fact that he hasn’t figured it out on his own, and sometime here in the next several months the University he wants to attend is asking for roughly $25,000 in tuition money.
After dodging financial conversations and scholarship conversations with my husband for the past six or seven months, he finally came out and asked his dad how he was going to be paying for the tuition because the school was starting to ask for deposits, etc. My husband ‘broke it’ to him that there is no college fund set aside (apparently BioMom has been telling him there was.
I have no idea where she got that idea.)
Now the whole family is up in arms that my stepson may not be able to go to the school of his choice.
Now it’s come up that our four-year-old has a college fund and investment account because on my computer there is literally a folder on the desktop that has the investment links and logins and paperwork organized. Right now it has about $8000 in it, all of it from me personally depositing funds and all of the little monetary gifts my daughter receives for Christmas and birthdays, etc.
Because of how badly this whole tuition and university situation has exploded, my husband now thinks we should pay for my stepson’s stuff with my daughter’s fund and he will pay me back. The problem is, I’ve already given my husband a pile of money for other things and I’ve never gotten it back so I said no.
Am I the jerk for ruining my stepson’s university opportunity? Everyone else seems to think so but I seem to think this should have been talked about and dealt with a long time ago.”
24. AITJ For Being Annoyed About Taking Care Of My Partner's Cat?
“My (29M) partner (32F) and I have been together for many years. When we first moved in together, I had an elderly dog, and she had a younger cat.
She worked from home while I went into the office. As my dog got older, he developed a few different illnesses that required very finicky rules surrounding his food and activities and such. Since I went into the office, most of this largely fell on my partner to handle. This included a couple of very scary experiences of her having to rush him to the emergency vet.
To my partner’s credit, I never once heard a sound of complaint about having to do any of this. Eventually, my dog had to be put down.
Now, the cat has reached old age, and we are in almost the exact opposite situation, I work from home and she doesn’t. The cat has some very finicky rules with his food.
Like he has to be fed a certain amount, a certain number of times a day to make sure that he gets all of his nutrients. His wet food has to be split into portions because if he’s fed it all at once, he won’t eat it and it just sits there and gets crusty and gross.
So we have to split the portions up throughout the day so that he will eat it all.
The annoying part is that if he’s not fed EXACTLY at the right time, he starts screaming. It’s so annoying. And since I work from home, it’s my responsibility to make sure that he is fed throughout the day.
I try setting phone alarms and stuff, but sometimes I am in meetings and can’t get up immediately. I guess I do a poor job of hiding my annoyance about this because my partner has noticed and it’s causing some resentment because she keeps pointing out how she took care of my dog without any complaints.
AITJ for being annoyed about this?”
23. AITJ For Not Going To My Partner's Daughter's Birthday Party?
“So my (35F) partner’s daughter, Izzy (12F), adores me and she calls me a lot when she is at her mom’s. Every time she comes back over she always asks if she can help cook since she wants to be a cook like me. When Izzy’s birthday was coming up she talked about it to me nonstop and said she couldn’t wait for me to meet all of her friends.
I got a call from Karen (her mom) saying I am not allowed to come to her daughter’s birthday party since she nor her other daughters like me. I told her that was ridiculous since it was Izzy’s birthday, not theirs and Izzy wanted me to go. Penny (Izzy’s sister, 16F) said that I wasn’t welcome as nobody who would be there likes me.
Jay (my partner and their father) said I can go as Izzy wants me there and because he is paying for the whole thing so I am more than welcome to go. But I decided not to go since I wanted to avoid drama on Izzy’s day. I told Izzy I wouldn’t be able to go since something came up and she said okay but I think she knew exactly why I wasn’t attending.
Apparently, Izzy spent her whole birthday crying and people were trying to cheer her up but she wasn’t having any of it. She was ignoring her mom and sisters. She ate none of her cake and didn’t want to open up any of her presents. She basically did nothing for her birthday but sob and ignore her mom and sisters.
At the end of her party which wasn’t longer than 3 hours, she started yelling at her mom and sisters for ruining her birthday. She said this was her birthday and that she wanted me there but I didn’t go because of them. I got a call later from them saying this was all my fault and that I needed to stop manipulating Izzy.
Now their whole family is saying this was all my fault and is begging Jay to break up with me.
So AITJ for making my partner’s daughter angry at her mom and sisters?”
22. AITJ For Being Upset About How My Stepdaughter Treats Me?
“My husband has a 17-year-old daughter with his ex-wife. She does not have a regular visitation schedule and at her age and in our state, no court is going to force it past 14 at best. My husband wants me to do more for Nikki than I do now. He wants me to send her random gifts and messages telling her that I love and miss her.
Nikki could not care less to receive anything from me or hear from me.
In the past when I’ve done stuff for Nikki or gotten her gifts, unless my husband forced her to, she never said thank you or showed any appreciation. She’s gone as far as throwing my gifts in the trash in front of me, complaining she already had something better at her mom’s house.
I’ve set aside my personal time and made reservations to take Nikki and a few friends or her cousins to do activities, which always backfired because she’d either cancel last minute, want to leave within 15 minutes of getting there, or complain the whole time how much she hated it. These were all things Nikki expressly said she wanted to do.
I’ve tried talking to her but the convos always consisted of how much better her mom is for her dad than I am and how her mom is still carrying a torch for her dad. Nikki is also rude and disrespectful, criticizing my style, cooking, home, car, etc… My husband sees it as Nikki is only 17, she’s just a child, and it’s not on her to make an effort, I need to put forth all the effort and more, I need to persist until I find a way to make Nikki happy.
If Nikki was willing to meet anywhere in the middle and treat me like a person, I would want to do more for her, but she’s not. Nikki is my husband’s world and he and her mom have always put her at the center of everything and catered to her. I can’t cater to someone who makes it a point to blatantly disrespect me.
My husband sees how she acts but he says she’s a kid, she doesn’t realize what she’s doing, and when she’s 25 or 30 she’ll realize how good I was trying to be to her and she’ll come to her senses and realize how poorly she treated me. I told my husband that it’s unfair to expect me to be treated like trash until then and until Nikki is ready and willing to put in an effort, I no longer am because it’s affecting my mental health.
If/when Nikki wishes to positively engage with me, I am here and I am receptive, but until then I am stepping back and focusing the energy I spent on her on myself. AITJ?
(I was not the other woman, my husband was divorced 2 years before we met. Hubby and I have been together 3.5 years, married for 1, for those who were going to ask.)”
21. AITJ For Not Taking My Grandma's Ring?
“Earlier this month, my (45M) grandmother (98F) passed away without a will. The family has never had a lot of money, so there’s not really anything to fight over, except my grandmother’s ring.
The ring is special, made from rings and other jewelry my grandparents and great-grandparents were able to sneak out of the Soviet Union on the eve of the German invasion. It has some material value, being gold and diamond, but its real value is in what it means to the family.
I was speaking to my mom (72F) about it when my wife (44F) overheard me telling my mom that I didn’t think that it would be right for me to take the ring.
My wife and I don’t have kids together, and physically can’t have biological children, so I thought it wasn’t right for me to take the ring; it should go to one of my sisters or cousins who do have kids and can keep the ring in the family.
My wife went ballistic. She has a son, my stepson, who is 17.
His father died when he was a year old. I’ve been his stepfather now for the last five years. I call him my son and treat him as such. My wife is upset because I told her the reason that I refused the ring is that I could never pass it to our son. I told her that he isn’t a blood relative of my grandparents and it wouldn’t be right, considering there are a dozen others who have a better claim.
My wife said that I am a jerk because my words make it clear that I have never considered him my son and will never accept him as my child. My perspective is that he never really knew my grandmother (she’s had dementia for the last several years and he only ever met her once) and that he is not part of the history that the ring represents.
So, AITJ?”
20. AITJ For Not Allowing My Daughter To Use Her New Phone At My House?
“I have two daughters, Tania (17F) and Ames (16F).
Tania is my biological daughter from a relationship I had a while ago. We didn’t get married because he said he didn’t believe in ”that stuff’. However, he’s truly responsible and has taken care of our child. He comes from a pretty wealthy background and I’ve never struggled with visitation or child-support payments. I do believe Tania is quite spoiled because she’s his only child.
She would never have to worry about anything, cars, trust fund, houses, college, she has all of those secured.
Ames is my stepdaughter. Her mom died giving birth to her and I’ve been in her life since she was 4. I married her dad and I thought we were happy, but he left us 6 years ago and luckily, didn’t take Ames with him.
As my ex, he said that marriage and fatherhood weren’t for him. I’ve tried my best to give my children everything I can (Though, if I am honest, Tania needs less of me than Ames) and I only want them to be polite, kind, and truthful. Tania is not the bragging type and she did share a lot of the things she had until Ames accidentally shattered her Hello Kitty mirror.
Ames paid the mirror back and Tania stopped sharing her stuff with her sister. I think it’s not fair since Ames took full responsibility but I get that those are her things.
My ex kept buying Tania stuff and taking her out. Ames began to resent her because now not only does she have her dad, but also has nice things that she, her grandparents, or I can’t afford.
One night she broke down crying and my heart hurt for my child. I decided to ask my ex and Tania to just… tone things down or do them more privately, she said that I keep putting Ames’s feelings over hers but I don’t think so.
Things have been tense for a while now, and yesterday, Tania came to me all happy, giggly, and jumping.
I thought something good had happened because she hadn’t acted like this for a while, and she showed me a new phone. It’s one of those flip phones in purple and she said her dad gave it to her for only getting A’s. My heart sank because that’s the phone Ames has been saying she wants to get.
I congratulated her and commented on what a good student she was, but that sadly, she wasn’t allowed to use that phone here and had to be kept at her dad’s.
She flipped and called me the biggest jerk in the world for only caring about Ames. A few hours later, her dad came to pick her up and I haven’t heard from her since.
I called and texted, but she didn’t answer. I thought I was protecting my kid’s feelings while also respecting my other kid’s belongings but I don’t know. AITJ?”
19. WIBTJ If I Let My Cousin Propose To His Partner On My Wedding Day?
“I (37M) am getting married in October of this year. I met my fiancee (Leslie, 35f) through my best friend/cousin (Tyler, 37M) and his partner (Mary, 33f), Leslie’s younger sister. Leslie and I have only been together for over a year but I really love her and want to share my future with her.
So I proposed to her last Valentine’s Day. Leslie and Mary’s family are in the Philippines right now and we applied for their visit visas so they can attend our wedding.
Last weekend Tyler asked me if it would be alright to propose to Mary on my wedding day. They had been together for almost 3 years.
He said he would pop the question at the end of the reception. I said it’s a great idea since everyone who’s important to us will be there. I said I would ask Leslie if she was okay with it. I was excited to tell Leslie, I was sure she’d be happy for her sister and Tyler.
But when I told her about it, her reaction was exactly the opposite. Her exact words are ‘Are you joking right now? Please don’t tell me you said yes already.’ I told her I didn’t say yes but I think it’s a wonderful idea. She told me there was no way she would let any proposal happen on her wedding day as it was supposed to be her day.
I said Tyler and Mary are the reason we met and I am grateful to them and they will not steal her thunder as Tyler will propose by the end of the reception party. She still said no. I asked if it was okay to do it the night before the wedding, during family dinner but she still said no. She told me if I insist then she will be forced to uninvite both Tyler and Mary.
I tried to reason with her but she won’t budge.
I am actually very confused right now. I think Leslie’s reaction shows that she is a little self-centered. I mean, Mary is her sister. I don’t understand as I am not a bride but this is my wedding too and I paid for everything including her parents’ visa application and plane tickets.
Tell me am I in the wrong here? AITJ?”
18. AITJ For Including My Brother In The Division Of Our Mom's Inheritance?
“My mom was THE most generous person I’ve ever known. She volunteered and gave whenever she could. She raised us to have the same mindset. I’ve got 2 sisters and 1 brother. My brother, being the only male, was always my mom’s favorite.
Unfortunately, she had a falling out years ago with my brother’s wife, and he stopped speaking to her. None of us know all the details, but my sister-in-law is very controlling, so we’re all pretty sure that’s where the issue was.
I asked my brother last year if he didn’t feel ashamed that he didn’t even call his mom on Mother’s Day, and he said he had to pick his wife’s side, as she’s the mother of his kids.
My sisters and I strongly disagreed with that, but that was his choice. My mom did reach out to him numerous times, to no avail. Forward to my mom getting a bit older, putting her affairs in order. My mom had an insurance policy that she left in my name. She told me and my sisters that we should split the money equally, after funeral expenses, but if my brother dared ask about money, to give him exactly $1.
Then she burst into tears, so we didn’t talk about it again. She didn’t bother with a will, as there wasn’t much money, and she trusted me to be honorable with my sisters. Then she died, very unexpectedly, of a heart attack.
We were all so distraught, but my brother took it the worst. To say my brother was devastated is an understatement.
He kept crying and saying he thought he’d ‘have time to fix things.’ Now he knows, there’s no promise that we’ll have any time, so love your people while you can.
Anyway, after the funeral, I was left with $10k. I talked to my sisters and decided to divide it equally, $2500 to each of us, not withholding anything from my brother, nor telling him of my mom’s decision to only give him $1.
One sister is in complete agreement, but my other sister and my husband both say I am completely wrong, and dishonoring my mother’s memory, by not abiding by her wishes. My husband and I argue about this quite a bit. It really bothers us both. I argue that if there’s ever any doubt, my mom would have chosen to be generous, and not hurt him.
She was hurt by his actions, but not vengeful. My brother also had a heart scare very shortly after she died, and I am also worried about his health. I know my mom. Her heart was always forgiving. He just didn’t ask for forgiveness while she was alive. Is it my place to offer it after she’s dead?”
17. AITJ For Wanting To Limit My Daughter's Therapy Sessions?
“So in the summer before her 9th-grade year, my daughter took therapy to resolve past trauma.
At the end of the summer, while she does have lingering feelings to this day, she felt better at handling it satisfied with the service of her therapy, and decided to stop for now. I told her that we have insurance and money put aside if she ever felt like she needed it again.
She’s now in grade 11.
She’s falling behind in her classes. She recently went through burnout. She decided to see a therapist from the same service again to work on it. I supported her decision. So far, she’s had 3 sessions and she’s been seeing her therapist on a weekly basis. The problem is that these sessions are expensive. Plus it feels like she isn’t getting anything out of it.
Also, the therapist wanted to talk about my daughter’s trauma, which I feel is not a big priority now since my daughter overcame most of it.
I called my daughter and asked her why she feels the sessions help if she isn’t making progress. I said I didn’t mind but she’d have to convince me that it is important.
She said that it’s like breaking a bone, the bone doesn’t heal right away. It’s gonna take her time until she can be fully motivated to do her school again. I brought my wife over and told my daughter that she needed to limit it since we didn’t have a lot of money. She pointed out that over 2 years ago, we were perfectly fine with it and assured her that we have insurance and money covered. I said that was true but insurance is limited. I told her that I don’t think her problem is burnout but it’s more her lack of time management skills.
She told me that even if it is, it’s still a mental thing and it can’t be fixed in a snap of a finger; she needs help.
My wife told her that she hasn’t improved, and my daughter said that it takes time. I told her to limit her sessions to save funds and I don’t think it’s important.
My daughter said that I don’t get to decide how frequent and urgent it is. I said I do since I am the one paying. She said that she was the one attending. I told her she could use all the insurance but she needs to decide how frequently her sessions should be. We argued and negotiated and we finally agreed that she’d do biweekly sessions instead.
While I do think I was in the right here, I feel like I could’ve approached this better now that I think about it.”
16. AITJ For Not Giving My Roommate A Share Of My Sold Bedroom Set's Sales?
“Two weeks ago I decided to sell my 3-year-old bedroom set (dresser, night tables, and small desk) because it’s too big for the room I moved into 4 months ago.
My roommate was admiring it as I took photos to post for sale, and I said, ‘Listen, if you want it, you can have it’ thinking it would be easier to just give it to her, rather than spend time fielding inquiries and dealing with potential buyers. Basically, I just needed to get it out of my room so I could buy something that would work better.
She said no, she had no room either, and I should just sell it.
The bedroom set sold for $700 after about 11 days and all the hassle one deals with when selling stuff—folks who don’t show up or call, offers that are then rescinded, people haggling for you to sell it for $50, that kind of thing.
Yesterday after the buyers picked up the furniture and gave me the payment, my roommate made some weird hrumph sound and walked out of the room. I gave it no mind until she sent me a text a couple of hours later asking if I wanted to pay her through Venmo or PayPal. I called her on the phone because I was completely perplexed. It turns out she felt because I offered her the furniture for free that I intended to make a gift of it to her, and when she told me to ‘just sell it’ it was with her understanding that I was selling it on behalf of her.
I am no lawyer, but in law, there is a stipulation that the parties have to come to a ‘meeting of minds’ when it comes to contracts (which is what she suggests this is) and that I breached the contract and therefore owe her the money.
AITJ?”
15. AITJ For Not Letting The Guy I'm Seeing Use Some Of My Blankets?
“I’ve (27F) gone on a couple of dates with this guy (36M) and this past weekend he texted me to ask if he could come over in 20 mins because he just got some great ‘special’ candy from the dispensary in our city (we live in a legal state).
I said sure, but that 20 minutes wouldn’t give me enough time to get my apartment just right for his first time coming over, so hopefully he wouldn’t mind. He said no problem.
I did a speed clean of the living room, just standard tidying stuff. One thing about the living room that I didn’t even think of was the two blankets I have on top of the couch I always sit on.
I have one long couch and one loveseat, and the loveseat is kind of where I post every day. The two blankets I have on this couch are a crochet blanket from my grandmother I’ve had since I was a teenager, and a blanket from my undergrad school I bought after a traumatic event 8 years ago that I used to basically swaddle myself in when I was having trouble sleeping because of nightmares.
Both blankets are super important to me and basically adult security blankets (I know this might sound pathetic, but whatever). I don’t let anyone else use them, which usually isn’t an issue since I live alone.
I sat on this couch and was working on my own crochet blanket when he came over. After a few minutes, I folded up my WIP blanket and put it down next to me.
He stood up and said ‘I am cold, so I am taking your blanket,’ picking up my WIP and accidentally unraveling some stitches when the hook fell out. I said ‘Actually, please don’t, it’s not finished and you’ll rip out stitches. I’ll get you another blanket.’ He then said it wasn’t a big deal, he’d take one from the couch.
I said I’d really prefer to get him one from my guest room, and that I don’t let anyone use those two. He said he’d prefer to just use those and that I was being ridiculous. I said it wasn’t an option and went to grab one from the other room. I came back and he had wrapped himself in both blankets and was giggling while looking at me, with his fingers even sticking through some of the stitches in my grandma’s blanket.
Trying to stay as calm as possible, I told him he had 5 seconds to give the blankets back and take the other one, or I’d be asking him to leave my apartment. He took the blankets off and stayed for another hour watching TV but was quiet and sulky the whole time. The next morning he texted me a very long text saying that me ‘micromanaging’ blankets was extremely unattractive to him and he no longer wished to see me.
I am torn because I feel like I was asking him a very simple thing and just setting a boundary, but I also know that to someone else it might come across as being too controlling and a jerk move. I feel like he was being immature, but I also know it was sort of my fault for leaving them out and that I might seem like a jerk.
ETA: I should clarify that when I told him he couldn’t use them because I didn’t let others use them, I did say that they had an important meaning to me. He was also sitting on the longer couch and I was on the loveseat.”
14. AITJ For Lying To My Husband About My Financial Situation?
“My husband and I make essentially the same annual salary. We have one shared account which we both contribute monthly (about 1k each per month), then the remaining money is for us to use at our discretion.
The reason we planned it this way is because I don’t always agree with his spending habits.
Last month, we had a baby, so obviously our family expense was much higher than usual. I told him last month, that we both need to contribute essentially triple what we normally contribute into our account (in anticipation of the medical bills, future nanny, etc.).
For the last 2 months and the next 2 months (possibly longer), I’ll be out of work on FMLA and disability (pregnancy complications). Also means, I don’t have a real income during these 4 months. But because I have much better financial management, I can still contribute half. He started to tell me how he may not have enough money to cover his half.
After this, I told him, he needed to contribute more than me every month because I also didn’t have money from being out of a job and that I’d be going to take care of the baby part-time. This isn’t completely true, but I know his spending habits improve if our family needs the money more.
Plus, the money I don’t put into our shared account goes into savings/investments (which I am happy to use for the family if the need arises). I lied about my financial situation/plan so that he would put more of his play funds into our account after realizing how bad his financial management is and how he doesn’t have an emergency fund.
(Basically forcing him to contribute more so I can save up more emergency funds for the two of us).
Am I the jerk for lying to him about my financial situation to make my husband contribute more to our shared account?”
13. AITJ For Not Cooking For My Neighbor?
“I (25f) live alone in an apartment and mostly work from home. I LOVE cooking/baking as a hobby and frequently experiment with new cooking styles or different ethnic cuisines.
Sometimes the food I make can be particularly strong (not in a bad way), and the smell will go into the hallways. I’ve never had any complaints about this, and I occasionally bring food over to friends/family/a few neighbors that I’ve gotten friendly with. But I mostly just cook for myself (and for Insta-likes lol).
A few weeks ago, one of my neighbors (whom I have never spoken to; let’s call him Mike) asked me if I lived in an apartment that constantly had food smells coming from it. I told him I cooked a lot and apologized if the smell was getting to him. He said it wasn’t a problem and asked if I could cook meals for him occasionally, as he wasn’t a great cook and didn’t want to live off frozen pizzas forever.
He asked in a kind of joking way, but also in a kind of serious way. I kind of nervously laughed it off and tried to leave, but he was like ‘Actually though, I’d love it if you would make some food for me.’ I just nervously said ‘Maybe’ and left.
I thought that was the end of it, but two weeks ago, when I made curry, I had excess and dropped some off with a neighbor (an older woman I had gotten friendly with, and who had also left me food in the past).
Mike noticed and ‘jokingly’ asked where his curry was, but it was clear he also kind of expected me to make some for him. I got a little annoyed, even if it was just a joke, and said I don’t know, maybe you should order some.
He got a little more aggressive, asking why I made food for everyone else, but not for him.
I said I didn’t know him, and I made food for neighbors who had taken time to make conversations or help me out in the past, and he was making me really uncomfortable. He started ranting that he’s a nice guy, and I am being extremely rude and thoughtless for leaving people out and going off about how hard he works and that he has no time to just sit around and cook all day and that I must be so lucky to be able to spend all my time cooking (I have a full-time job) and that life was easy for me.
Now I feel kind of uncomfortable just passing by his unit and started taking a longer route to leave the apartment so I don’t pass by him. But the other day, it snowed, and he knocked on my door and offered to scrape ice off my car or do other chores for me in exchange for a meal. This felt really creepy (and also, like, I don’t understand at this point why he won’t just order food from somewhere?), and I said no, please leave.
He got all huffy and said I was being rude for not even giving him a chance to get to know each other and exchange favors. I am still a little uncomfortable with this, but AITJ?”
12. AITJ For Wearing My Late Dad's Jacket At Work?
“I (25m) unfortunately lost my father around 4 years ago. It’s been extremely hard not having his guidance anymore, and frankly, I just miss spending time with him. I miss his unique laugh, his unquestionable kindness, and most of all his smart mouth lol.
Recently when going through some of his stuff I found an old jacket of his that he used to wear CONSTANTLY.
I had almost forgotten about it, but after seeing it again, all the memories of road trips in the winter came flooding back, and I decided to start wearing it.
A little info on the jacket: It’s an old bland-looking grey jacket that is pretty big on me, and it definitely has worn places, but it’s also soooo comfortable (probably because it’s so big and broken in lol).
Here’s where the problem is. I recently went to work (I am a pharmacy tech) and my coworker Katie (42f), who I already don’t have a good working relationship with, saw my jacket and commented on how big and worn out it looked. I told her that it used to be my late dad’s and that I recently found it in some of his things expecting her to understand.
She looked at me somewhat shocked and said ‘That’s kinda weird ya know. That thing is way too big on you to look appropriate, and frankly, it’s disrespectful to your dad. It makes him seem like he was poor or something.’ I was pretty taken aback at this and didn’t know what to say.
I tried to get her to explain what was so disrespectful about it, but she just kept saying things about how he wouldn’t appreciate it, and how I am just making myself look poor???
I kinda lost it at that point and said ‘Oh because you knew him SOOO well, yeah? It’s not any of your business, so please just drop it.’ She got all red and stormed off, I put my jacket and bag in my locker and started my shift.
After 2-ish hours I noticed Katie wasn’t at her station, so I asked the pharmacist where she was. He said that she told him that she wasn’t feeling well, and decided to go home. After work, I turned my phone back on in the car, and all I saw were messages from Katie calling me a disrespectful jerk, and how she ‘was just trying to look out for me’.
Part of me knows that’s nonsense, but part of me also strongly believes that I may have been a jerk. I don’t know. I probably shouldn’t have cursed, but I couldn’t stand her pretending to act like she knew what my dad would and wouldn’t approve of.
Also, it’s not like I would’ve worn the jacket on my shift, as I have to have the uniform.
I wore it because it’s winter, and it’s freaking cold outside, but I really mainly wear it because it helps me feel closer to my dad. Please help me out here. AITJ?”
11. AITJ For Insisting My Sister To Sell Her Part Of Our Family Business To Our Brother?
“I have a brother and a sister. Our grandfather started a business and my dad took it over.
My sister worked there but my brother and I never did. He sold her a part of the business and when he retired he sold more of it to my brother and me. When he passed away the 10% he owned went to our mom and each of the 3 of us had 30% ownership.
My brother married an American.
He sold his share of the business to my sister shortly before the wedding. My mom and I didn’t want him to sell it and we tried to discourage it. My sister and my brother’s wife didn’t get along. She didn’t go to the wedding and I think that was part of why they moved to America after the wedding.
Why this issue is coming up now is because my brother is going through a divorce. He isn’t leaving America because he doesn’t want to be away from my nephews and he couldn’t return here permanently since he gave up his citizenship and became an American. He has asked to buy into the business. He’s willing to pay a fair price.
My sister refuses to sell any of her part. She says if my mom or I want to we can. She is keeping hers. Currently, she owns 60%, my mom has 10%, and I have 30%. My brother originally owned 30% before he sold and given his situation he could use the revenue from part ownership. We even proposed a compromise where my sister maintains decision-making power but she turned it down.
We all acknowledge she runs the business well and we don’t want her to give up management or lots of money. But it would be nice to have my brother back in the fold.
AITJ? We’ve been fighting a lot since the idea of bringing my brother back in came up and we don’t see eye to eye.”
10. AITJ For Refusing To Reach Out To My Son's Mom?
“I have a 17-year-old son (Dorian) with my ex. We divorced when he was 8 and it was not friendly. I was always open to being friendly with her but she wasn’t so I stopped trying.
Our communication has ceased to exist. I literally have not physically seen her in a year, spoken to her in 8 months, or exchanged an email in four months. That’s fine because we have a system in place for our son that doesn’t require us to communicate directly with each other.
My son bounces between my place and hers.
Lately, my son has been acting between a twerp to downright dark when he comes over. He seemed very very burned out. His fingernails are bloody from biting them and he’s drinking tons of ginger ale for his stomach. It started to rub off on my other boy. I finally asked him what was going on between him and his mom.
He said she’s not doing well. He thinks she is really sick. Like she’s probably dropped to 90 pounds in the last few months (she was like 110). She sleeps all day. He asked her if she was sick and she denied it. He said he’s really stressed because he’s worried he’s going to find her dead and panics when she doesn’t pick up her phone.
According to him, he doesn’t even bother emailing or texting because he knows she won’t respond which is odd. She’s not seeing a doctor or on meds to his knowledge.
He asked me to talk to her. I asked about what. He said to find out the truth. I explained if she’s not responding to your texts or emails then she’s not going to respond to mine.
I cannot just barge into her home either. If I call and by some chance she picks up, I don’t think she will tell me anything.
Do I think she’d tell anyone that she’s sick? No, I don’t. Even if she was terminally ill. Her lack of transparency is the reason why I didn’t want to remain married to her.
My son said that I just don’t care and it will be my fault if something happens because I can do something. I appreciate that my son still thinks (sometimes) that I am Superman but I am not.”
9. AITJ For Wanting My In-Laws To Professionally Clean Their Homes Before We Visit?
“My husband and I have an 8-month-old son. For months he has struggled with congestion and breathing issues that we have been to the doctor multiple times, including a couple of trips to urgent care and the ER.
Up until about a month ago, we had not gotten a solid diagnosis from anyone and it’s been incredibly frustrating. Then we finally went to see an allergy specialist and they did some tests and it turns out our son has pet allergies.
Now, all of my in-laws have pets. Some have cats, some have dogs, but literally all of them have pets.
And when we thought back to all the times our son’s symptoms were at their worst, it lined up with either visiting my in-laws or them coming to see us.
So, my husband and I talked with our in-laws and told them that if they want to come visit us then they need to make sure they wear clean clothes or bring a change of clothes with them so that there is little to no dander or hair on them, and to clean their cars before they visit because they all take their pets in their cars.
We also asked that if we come to visit them, they thoroughly clean their homes, preferably professionally.
Since then, none of them have invited us over. We used to see them about every 2 weeks, but now it’s silence. Last week my MIL shared pictures of my BIL and his family over at their house with their kids and their dog.
I told my husband how it made me feel left out and how it feels like they are picking their pets and a little convenience over us. He said he would talk to them about it.
He talked with his brother and mom and told them how it made us feel left out and they were receptive to it.
He also invited them over for dinner this past weekend which they agreed to.
But when I sent a text out to them last week reminding them of the rules regarding extra clothes and cleaning their cars, both MIL and BIL suddenly changed their tune and both of them said they wouldn’t be able to make it.
I called BIL’s wife, who I am close with, to talk to her about it. She told me that they are both really busy and they just don’t have the time to do all the things I want them to do in order to visit. I told her it didn’t take that long to throw some extra clothes together and to clean their car.
She said they don’t want to be the cause of another allergic reaction in our son and it’s just easier if they don’t try to risk it.
Which to me felt like a total cop-out. Like, you don’t have 30 minutes to make sure your car is clean? I told my husband about it and he called his brother again.
I guess BIL took offense and told my husband that we are the ones who put the rules in place and we should be happy with them respectfully declining an invitation instead of breaking those rules and risking my son’s health.
My husband told him that they are picking convenience over family and BIL just told him, ‘Welcome to becoming a parent.
No one is going to want to protect your kid as much as you do, get used to it.'”
8. AITJ For Refusing To Pitch In For My Sister's Baby Shower Catering?
“At the start of this new year, I decided that I was going change my spending habits and start budgeting to spend less and save up.
I decided that my family and I were no longer going to spend a lot on eating out and focus on home-cooked meals only. I have a son and we have been a one-income family for the last four years because of childcare but now my partner has a steady income. We were living paycheck to paycheck and weren’t able to save as much as we wanted to as a one-income family but now that my partner works, we can start focusing on our financial goals.
We need to save for a car, a downpayment for a house, braces for myself and my son, pay off student loans, and definitely set up an emergency fund.
This year, I really wanted to be smart and start saving up for the future. OK so now am I the jerk?
My sister is having her first child and asked me if I would like to contribute 140 dollars to her taco catering for her baby shower and that I could pay her 35 dollars a month if that were easier for me.
I let her know that I felt that 140 was a little extreme for tacos and I didn’t want to pay that much for food. She proceeds to tell me my older sister is giving her 140 as well for the taco catering and her friends are contributing more as well. She also told me 140 is not even a lot of money.
I told her that 140 was a huge amount to me that I didn’t have that kind of amount to spend on her taco catering and that there are cheaper food alternatives for her baby shower that weren’t so expensive. She then told me her friends don’t have a budget like that either and they have mortgages and car payments but they are more than happy to contribute.
My sister makes twice as much money as me and she lives comfortably and does not worry about money. I didn’t even have a baby shower when I was pregnant with my first because I couldn’t afford one.
Long story short, she’s upset that I won’t give 140 for the catering. Personally, I would rather spend the 140 on baby gear.
Spending 140 on tacos does not even include the cost of gifts I plan to buy as well. Am I the jerk for not wanting to pay 140 for tacos because I feel it’s out of my budget or should I just make the monthly payments?”
7. WIBTJ If I Don't Agree With My Partner's Apartment Choice?
“My partner (M 22) and I (f 22) are moving in together. We have been apartment hunting this week and found a couple of suitable options.
There is one apartment I really like (APT 1), that is around 110m2 and the rent would be around 1400. This apartment is located in a nice neighborhood, around 10 blocks from my parents’ house.
I like this apartment because the price is good for the size and location and it’s also quite pretty.
My partner, however, prefers another apartment (APT 2) that is around 140m2 and rents around 1600. The apartment is in the dead center of the city we live in and literally next door to his parents’ house. As in, if we sit on the balcony and look to the right we can see and talk to his parents on their own balcony.
My issue with APT 2 is that it’s not very nice looking on the inside, it’s an older building so the tiles in the kitchen and bathrooms are very outdated and worn. It comes with some furniture even my grandma would have gotten rid of already, the kitchen is all mismatched as if it was fixed by someone who took apart another kitchen and reused the parts.
It’s overall not a nice-looking apartment, and for me to be happy in it, I would need to change pretty much everything, I am an interior designer, and the look of my own apartment is important to me. But that would also be quite expensive to do, and there are certain things we wouldn’t be able to change because it’s a rental and the owner would not allow it.
But my partner still really wants it because it’s the very center of the city, close to where he does language classes and a big supermarket he likes to shop at. And APT 1 would be around 1 or 2 km away from these things. He uses his mom’s car, but she said he can’t take it if he moves out even if she does not drive.
APT 1 is not available for visitation yet and APT 2 needs to be rented today or tomorrow. I need an answer soon and I am afraid I am being unreasonable if I say no.”
I think you need to sit with partner and have an honest conversation with him.. the finances for 1, why pay more for an older apartment that needs work that you know the landlord won't allow just for the sake of making mommy happy.. also she said he can't take the car if he moves out so living next door is still moved out so he still won't have use of her car... tell him that you are meant to be stating this chapter of your life together AWAY from your parents so if you are moving away from your parents it's only right your away from his too... i wouldn't rush into taking the apartment next to his parents though i think you would regret it instantly
6. AITJ For Snapping At My Attention-Seeking Sister?
“I (17F) recently graduated high school in May of this year.
For some context, my sister (15F) likes having all the attention on her, even when the moment or day doesn’t revolve around her.
As part of the graduation day, we had a mass prior to the ceremony for the graduates and their families. Our school allowed for two family members to attend the mass so I chose my father and my sister. Unfortunately, my father was the only one there due to the fact that my sister woke up extremely late.
Fast forward to the ceremony where afterward, my sister threw a huge tantrum over how she felt ‘left out’, even when the day wasn’t about her; it was MY high school graduation. Since my parents had made dinner reservations for after the ceremony, we went to eat with my parents, sister, brother, aunt, cousin, and grandma.
My sister didn’t eat her food and sulked when our family congratulated me on this huge achievement. I was really frustrated with her but I chose to stay silent and enjoy the evening.
Fast forward to around a month after grad, my physical diploma was mailed out and while my mom and sister were driving, I was talking about how hard I had worked (13 years) to achieve the diploma and my sister went silent for the rest of the car ride home.
I thought nothing of it until my mom asked what was wrong. My sister, crying, said that she would never graduate because she was ‘stupid’.
After a long work shift, I was tired and got angry at her making the moment once again about herself so I snapped. I called her selfish and said that she had made MY graduation day about herself and always wanted the attention on her when the moment wasn’t about her.
I also said that I felt as though I couldn’t be genuinely happy about graduation because she would always get upset whenever our family would congratulate me. She started crying even harder, swearing at me while I just sat there with an emotionless expression. She called me all the names in the book. My parents are divided as to whether or not she deserved my harsh response.
My mom agreed with me 100% but my dad wanted me to apologize because I hurt her feelings. AITJ?”
5. AITJ For Giving An Honest Opinion About My Friend's Bikini?
“My best friend was visiting me this week and since it’s summer we decided we wanted to go to the pool.
She has been on antidepressants for the past two years which has made her gain a ton of weight.
She used to be very slim and skinny like me but the meds have completely changed her body composition.
She brought a few bathing suits and was asking for my opinion on them. She had a one-piece and a bikini she was deciding between. She kept saying she looked too fat in the bikini and might wear the one-piece, I actually thought the one-piece looked better but I didn’t say anything because it was up to her.
She modeled both for me and asked for my opinion. All I said was ‘I like the one-piece better!’
She asked me if I thought she looked fat in the bikini, and I said no I just like the other one better. She started to act super triggered and kept accusing me of thinking she was fat and I told her to get lost and wear whatever she wanted.
She put on the one piece and kept making snarky comments about how I think she’s fat and I would ignore her but she kept taunting me with comments so I just snapped and said ‘Yeah you shouldn’t wear a bikini cause it doesn’t look good on you, happy now? Is that what you wanted me to say so badly?’
She just started packing her bags and went somewhere, I haven’t heard from her since. I heard from our mutual friend Allie that she’s safe she just went to a hotel and rebooked her flight. But Allie told me that apparently my friend told her that I called her fat and Allie says I could’ve handled the situation better even when I told her the real story.
AITJ?”
4. AITJ For Thinking My Wife's Request For My Nephew To Change His Clothes Is Unreasonable?
“My wife (26f) and I (28m) got married last Wednesday and the ceremony was amazing.
My wife was very strict on the fact that no guest is allowed to wear white, which is understandable because for females that’s considered rude or bad luck at weddings, I think.
The reception was going well too, until I noticed my wife walking over to the bathroom with her face held in her hands.
Obviously, I could tell my wife was upset as we’ve been together for three years now and I can tell when she’s upset.
I rushed across the room telling guests ‘One minute’ as I hurried by them. Once I got to the bathroom I knocked on the door and informed my wife that it was me at the door.
After a few minutes, I heard the door unlock and open. When I got in I saw my wife sitting on the floor with mascara running down her cheeks.
I asked what was wrong and she told me that one of our nephews was wearing white jeans and a white bow tie. I immediately thought to myself how she was completely overreacting because he’s a six-year-old child and had no idea that you can’t wear white to a wedding.
I told her she was overreacting but in a much nicer way and I said that she should go enjoy the reception and forget about the whole thing. She eventually texted her sister to come to the bathroom and fix her makeup so she could go back out and have a good night.
After a while, I saw her talking to my sister, the mom of our nephew, and I thought she was just making conversation.
About an hour later my sister pulled me aside and berated me for my wife’s behaviour. She said my wife had asked her and her son to leave unless she had a change of clothes for him.
This was far from okay to me so I asked my wife to talk and explained everything my sister told me, my wife said she was completely in the right for what she asked and I told her that if she kicked my family out then I would happily leave too.
My wife started crying again and saying that this was her day and she didn’t want it to be ruined by our nephew. This angered me because I had enough of her ruining our day over something silly. I then said she was not only selfish but that she was insanely insecure if she was worried about a six-year-old looking better than her.
My wife’s been staying with her mother since the wedding and we haven’t spoken once. Her mom reached out to me this morning and said that I need to apologize right away for being ‘out of line’.
I really don’t believe I am in the wrong here so what do you think?
AITJ?”
3. AITJ For Not Giving My Siblings An Equal Share Of Mom's Fabric?
“I (m 39) am the youngest of six children. I was a surprise kid late in my parents’ lives, and I was a young teen when my mom started to get antsy and wanted to get out of the house more.
She started taking hobby classes. I got dragged along to each and every one. Because of this, I have a wide array of very weird crafting knowledge.
Crochet, knitting, basket weaving, quilting, cake decoration, oil painting. While I am not a master of any of them, I am fairly competent. After my mother died, I started using her old crafting supplies to make gifts for my siblings out of her things. Everyone got an afghan, scarf, egg basket, etc. It was my way of making sure Mom was still there every year.
The quilts are where things get a little hinky. I made three quilt tops before I ran out of fabric. There wasn’t enough to make them all, and I didn’t realize it until I was too deep into the project. I ran out and grabbed some fabric. I did my best to get a really broad variety of scraps to keep it from being obvious.
I made a few adjustments, split two of the existing quilt tops, and added on more using the new scraps. I wanted everyone to have at least some of Mom’s fabric in their quilt.
When I wrapped them, I didn’t bother to put names on them. Everyone just grabbed a package and was delighted to have a nice quilt.
It was the last of my mother-son crafting projects, and I was glad to be finished with them all.
I ended up mentioning to my sister over dinner last week that only one of the quilts was entirely mom’s fabric because I had run out of fabric. She immediately asked me which one, and I said that I wasn’t sure who had gotten it (I didn’t, at the time) and explained again that there just wasn’t enough fabric to go around.
She starts to get annoyed, wanting to know why I didn’t make sure to give the one that was ENTIRELY mom’s fabric to her, since she was the oldest.
You can see where this is going.
This snowballed. My sister called my other siblings to solve the ‘mystery,’ and now, siblings are all texting and posting pictures of their quilts, trying to figure out who’s got the ‘real’ one and whose were ‘fakes.’ (I now know, thanks to all the pictures, exactly which one is made entirely of her fabric, but I am playing stupid.
You can’t have that much fabric lying in your lap for months without recognizing it.) I’ve gotten more than a few nasty messages about it from the peanut gallery, and all my siblings’ friends seem to think that it’s insanely rude that I would pull a ‘trick’ like this.
I realize now that I probably should have just broken down all three of the quilt tops to spread things around.
But god, it was so miserable rushing for months to get them done, only to have to split two of them just to expand them back out again.
So: AITJ for not giving my siblings an equal ‘share’ of mom’s fabric in their Christmas quilts? At this point, I feel like I should have just made three quilts and explained the problem and let them fight about it.”
2. AITJ For Wanting My Cousin To Pay For The Birthday Cake Her Son Destroyed?
“We recently threw my 5-year-old a birthday party. He hasn’t had a real birthday party since he was 2 years old due to the global crisis, so this was the first one he’d actually remember.
We wanted to make it special so we invited all our closest friends, family members, and their kids.
One of my cousins, a single mom, has a very unruly 6-year-old. He is loud, disobedient, and a nightmare in public. When it came time to blow out the candles and cut the birthday cake, he came and stood directly next to my son.
I anticipated what was going to happen next and asked my husband to stand behind this kid in case he tried to pull anything.
After we sang, this kid kept trying to blow out the candles. My husband kept blocking him and pulling him back and we could tell the kid was getting frustrated. Eventually, my son blew out the candles and the kid absolutely lost it.
He threw a tantrum and slammed his entire arm into the cake, knocking it onto the table. It was so awkward, that everyone gasped and got quiet. My son looked up at us and I could tell he was about to start crying. In an effort to not cause a bigger scene, my husband picked him up and whispered to him that we had another special cake just for him (we didn’t) and he seemed to calm down.
Meanwhile, his cousin was still standing there screaming and crying, his arm covered in cake. His mom was nowhere to be seen. I walked him over to the sink, washed him off, and quietly told him that he shouldn’t have done that to the cake and that he should apologize to his cousin for what he did.
He screamed ‘NO!’ in my face and then ran away.
My husband ended up running out to buy a sheet cake that we cut and served to everyone. I spoke to my cousin after the party about what happened since she wasn’t in the room, and she brushed it off saying ‘Kids will be kids’.
I completely disagree. I’ve been to plenty of birthday parties where the other kids let the birthday boy/girl have their moment. I suggested she pay for the ruined cake and she looked at me like I was crazy.
I told her how important it was to us that this birthday be special to my son since it would be the first one he remembered, and now all he would remember was that his cousin ruined his special moment.
She got extremely defensive and refused to pay for anything. She then accused me of acting like ‘the perfect mom’ and began to list the ways in which I was in fact NOT perfect. It was a hurtful conversation and we haven’t spoken since.
I sent her the bill for the ruined cake and she has not paid us.
I actually feel she should pay for both cakes since her kid is the reason we had to get a new one, but I didn’t go that far. My husband thinks she’ll never pay us and that I should drop the issue at this point. He says that since she’s a single mom it’s probably hard on her and we should cut them both some slack.
I understand that, but I feel like that’s just letting her and her son off the hook and this will lead to even bigger problems in the future if we don’t hold them accountable.
AITJ here?”
1. AITJ For Not Forcing My Son To Eat Something He Doesn't Like?
“We went to a dinner with my family and my aunt was there. I have two children and I swear my 3-year-old had to be poisoned in his last life or something. He’s literally suspicious of all foods. We sneak in veggies when we can but after talking to a pediatrician and a behavioral therapist it was decided he was just picky and hopefully, he’ll grow out of it.
He eats bread and rolls, sometimes raw fruit and veggies if he’s in the mood. Hot dogs if they are cut up. He drinks his supplements okay because he thinks it’s chocolate milk.
Soft food like mac and cheese, mashed potatoes, or oatmeal he hates. Like seriously suspicious of things. It’s not even worth the hassle to get him to try them.
My aunt insisted he eat some mac and cheese at the dinner because what kid doesn’t like it? She tries feeding him and it ends up with him screaming. I gave him a roll and he ate that.
My aunt said I am spoiling him and this is why so many kids get diagnosed with autism in soft parenting.
I explained to her we had already seen a specialist and the kid just hates mushy foods. There’s nothing else wrong.
My aunt said it was bad parenting and I should try to force him to eat some other foods. I said forcing food on a kid does sound like child abuse to me and I doubt mac and cheese has many essential nutrients in it so my kid can pass on it.
She goes and talks to my mom and my mom has been on the other side of mushy peas in the face so she’s just like let the kid eat a roll.
My aunt told me I am ‘the worst father ever’ for raising a picky eater. I told her I am 100% sure there are worse fathers out there but my aunt says I am a jerk.”
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