People Want Us To Weigh Their "Am I The Jerk" Stories Honestly

"I (F) have been with my husband Todd for 3 years.

He has a son (9) from his late wife. Todd is pretty close to his sister Monica. Their mom's deceased and Monica has basically taken over. She's nice to me and all but she seems to be a bit controlling especially when it comes to Todd. But that wasn't a real issue until after I got pregnant. After we found the gender of the baby (boy) she insisted on the name 'Tommy' but I refused because I already had a name in mind. Todd loves it but he chooses to stay out of the fight saying maybe we should just let Monica call him Tommy. I refused and asked her to please respect me and the fact that I'm the mom, not her and she said okay.

Like always, she's hosting Christmas for the family this year and invited me and Todd to Christmas dinner. I was intending on coming that is until I discovered that she hung stockings with her kids', nephews', and nieces' names and hung a 'Tommy' stocking saying that it was for my son.

I was livid. I lost it on her and there was a huge fight. I told her I wouldn't be coming to her Christmas dinner if she didn't remove the stocking or put the real name and then I left.

Todd started yelling at me when we got home saying that I was attempting to ruin an important family tradition by refusing to come and said that I was overreacting and could not be telling his sister what she should or shouldn't do in her own home.

He tried to convince me to come but I said no. Not until she removes that stocking and it doesn't look like she's going to do it cause he spoke with her and he's now mad at me for 'making a huge deal out of it'. Her husband Philip who's usually nice to me called yesterday saying that he spoke with Todd and he'd be devastated if I cause 'the family' to miss the event at Monica's house and ruin it not only for the adults but for the kids as well since my stepson loves spending the holidays with his cousins.

Todd has been quiet and the only way we communicate is through Philip. I feel ashamed. Maybe I overreacted. AITJ?"

Another User Comments:

"NTJ. But your husband and SIL are. SIL decided to name your child. What kind of entitlement is that? She has no saying what you name your child, and your husband is not backing you but her.

Tell her that she can only see your son Tommy and since you don't have a son named Tommy she's never going to see your child. If you go and she decides to give you the stocking throw it out because she said I don't have anyone named Tommy.

And your husband is a spineless jerk. He's staying out of it. It's his child, it's his sister.

Step up and tell her to stop this stupid crap. Don't go. Keep your boundaries and tell your sister-in-law that Tommy ruined the party and not you or anyone else.

If family really matters to her then she'll call your child the proper name. And if she continues to do that, look Street in the face. Call her Blanche constantly until she realizes I decided to give you a different name because it's what I want to call you" antique_add

Another User Comments:

"This is one of those situations where you say 'I’m simply not participating in her alternate reality. There is no way you can justify her behavior. If you choose not to deal with her bad behavior, that doesn’t mean I will accept it.' Your husband just gave away the right for the two of you to name your own child.

He knows that you disagree. He just doesn’t care. My heart is breaking for you.

If he won’t endure his sister’s anger to give you the right to name your son, why is he even in a relationship? You are NTJ. Don’t doubt yourself.

Your SIL is the one holding the family Christmas tradition hostage. After the holiday, it’s time for couples’ counseling. Maybe you could tell your husband you’ll go to the family Christmas celebration if he’ll go to couples’ counseling." Literally_Taken