People Look Forward To Getting Their "Am I The Jerk?" Stories Judged
36. AITJ For Not Letting An Innocent Guy Get Rejected And Embarrassed?
“So basically my sister was informed by a guy that he likes her best friend and was told to keep a secret. She immediately told her and a few other friends in the room.
(Keep in mind that this guy is already not great mentally and has been to a therapy resort)
So the best friend confirms that she does not share the same feelings for the guy.
And my sister told him to sing a song in front of her and a bunch of other people at a party. I already felt second-hand depression and embarrassment because we know that he was going to get rejected. But my sister insisted that this person has a chance with the best friend and is hyping him up. She said that she was doing this to ‘have fun’ and get a kick out of the situation.
The next day I was overhearing a conversation with the dude and my sister on speaker phone and the best friend was next to her pretending to not be there. I couldn’t stand by witnessing knowing how messed up the situation is and having witnessed my own brother pass away in front of me in the hospital for excessive drinking because his wife left him.
So I feel a lot of empathy for this guy even tho I don’t know him at all.
So what I did was I logged into T-Mobile, got the dude’s phone number from my sister’s call usage line, and texted him from a fake number warning him. He didn’t believe me at first and ended up notifying my sister and then she notified the best friend. And my sister pretty much figured out it was me cause she knows that I can be clever like this. She also said that I’m apparently ruining all of her fun. Am I the jerk for doing that even tho it was none of my business to do so?”
35. AITJ For Telling My Husband What My Brother-In-Law Said?
“There has been tension between my husband and his brother-in-law since they met. My in-laws weren’t happy about my sister-in-law marrying him but for her sake, they’ve mostly kept their mouths shut.
My brother-in-law has a failing business. My husband and his dad want to help him but he’s been refusing to accept any type of help even though his wife has been trying to convince him to.
The last time we had dinner as a family it kept being brought up. Both my husband and brother-in-law were getting increasingly annoyed so my mother-in-law ended up changing the subject before things got worse.
At one point, it was just me and my brother-in-law. He made a comment about how my in-laws try to buy people and he wouldn’t be bought.
I told him they weren’t trying to buy him, they were trying to help him because they wanted their sister/daughter to have a good life. He told me that was nonsense and they were trying to buy him so they could control him and that he would make it on his own without their help. I told him accepting help from family wasn’t something to be ashamed of which seemed to upset him.
He asked me how much I had sold myself to my husband for then and said how it was easier to pay with your body than your pride.
I was really angry and when my husband saw me he asked me what my brother-in-law said to me. I knew it would cause an issue but I was so upset that I didn’t think before I told him.
My husband and his brother-in-law ended up having a huge fight. I’ve never seen my husband that angry before and he told his sister to get her husband out of his face.
My sister-in-law contacted me after and was really angry at me. She apologized for what her husband said but told me I shouldn’t have told my husband because we both knew he was going to react exactly how he reacted. She said I had already made his difficult relationship with her husband even worse.
34. AITJ For Having A Fight With My Fiancé Over His Spending A Lot For His Brother?
“My fiancé’s brother ‘Chris’ moved to Mississippi from our hometown 2 years ago to be with some girl he met on the internet. Chris has always been the type to make terrible life choices and my fiancé is ALWAYS the one who bails him out (with the exception of my FMIL). My fiancé does this because he has survivor’s guilt. They lived with their father growing up and their father hated Chris with a burning passion for whatever reason but loved my fiancé ‘Heath’; so Heath saw A LOT.
Yes, they both got out physically but mentally, Chris was ruined. Refuses therapy, gets into trouble constantly, etc. He is 33 and my fiancé is 28.
So when Chris left to go to Mississippi, I was working at the hospital 70 hours a week while Heath stayed home with the kids. He had no income but he was a stay-at-home dad and this worked for us.
However, I started noticing money going missing quite often and when I checked the bank statements (Heath handled them because he was an accountant for a couple of years and better at budgeting) I noticed a ton of Amazon purchases and fund transfers. When I confronted him he told me his brother and the chick didn’t work out so he was helping him with like hotel stays, food, essentials, etc.
It’s important to note that during this time, I was mad because of how much was being spent and limited him on what he could send his brother a month because it was not my responsibility. So I didn’t make him stop but limited him.
Well budget cuts went through my hospital 2 months ago and I was cut, along with 340 other employees.
4 wings were closed down, mine being one of them. So I am currently unemployed. Heath works constantly now. I also just got my taxes back. We have 3 kids. I got back a big chunk of change. Last night Chris calls and Heath shuts the bedroom door (I assumed cause the kids were being loud) but I walked in roughly 10 minutes later and see Heath has my debit card in hand, typing in the info on Amazon to buy his brother over $400 worth of stuff (books, board games, playing cards, etc – nothing he ‘needed’).
I rip the debit card out of his hand and ask him what he is doing and he just looks at me like I am a jerk and asks why I had the nerve to do that. I told him I am not fishing out $400 worth of stuff to his brother, and he goes ‘My brother has nothing to do and this is the only way I can help.’ And said since I got back a ton of money, I should be willing to help, especially considering he gets his paycheck Friday and can make up for it. I still said no. He is now saying I am a controlling jerk.”
33. AITJ For Refusing To Give Up My Seat For A Woman With A Baby?
“My wife and I were traveling on a 10-hour flight from Europe to Asia last week. We booked our tickets well in advance and also managed to book the specific seats we wanted – two seats in the first row in the middle column of seats – it was a Boeing 787 with the seat configuration being 3 columns with 3 seats each.
We paid for these seats as it was going to be a long journey and wanted the extra leg space.
When we boarded, there was a woman holding a baby seated in the middle seat. We had booked the 2 aisles on the off chance that the middle seat may be empty but with the full intention for me to switch to the middle seat if the passenger wished to sit in one of the aisles and not between us.
This woman, before I even had a chance to put my bag in the overhead compartment, asked me ‘Can I be really cheeky and ask you to switch seats with my husband?’
She then pointed towards her husband sitting in the second row on the left side column of the aircraft (only the first row has extra leg space and requires additional payment to book the seat).
She then told me that her husband needs to be next to her to help with the baby.
My wife stayed quiet while I politely but firmly told her that unfortunately as his seat is in a second row, I wouldn’t be moving there as I had specifically paid for the seat with extra legroom. She then claimed that she and her husband had paid as well but they placed him in the second row, which seemed very suspect.
Either way, I stayed firm. Then the steward came and requested me to switch with the husband on her behest and I had to tell him the same thing, making things quite awkward. She then threw daggers at me for some time. The baby started crying after a while as well. Thankfully the steward came back and told me that there were 2 vacant seats in one of the other first rows and offered to move us.
We ended up moving there but could hear this lady animatedly make comments about us to her husband from behind for some time after that.
When I recounted this incident to my in-laws they said that I should have just moved as she had a baby with her and that turned into a different conversation about baby expectations! My wife agrees with me that her poor planning is not our problem and that we should have stayed out if there were no other first-row seats.
Quite coincidentally read an article about a similar incident that happened with mixed opinions in the comments section. So AITJ?
EDIT for additional info: Just clarifying a couple of things – The first row of seats in the middle column on this aircraft is adjacent to the second rows of seats on either side (and not the first rows). Her husband had the aisle seat in this second row (but no legroom), across the aisle from where I was sitting.
So if she had moved to the aisle seat that I offered her initially, both she and her husband would be in aisle seats next to each other (with an aisle in between of course).
Both my wife and I are tall people who prefer aisle seats with leg space. Like I already mentioned, that was with a plan for me to move into the middle seat if the passenger who got it wanted to exchange, so I’m not sure what difference it would have made if we just booked an aisle and the middle – this couple couldn’t be seated together regardless.”
32. AITJ For Telling My Aunt To Delete My Baby's Photos From Her Social Media?
“So recently I (25f) and my partner (27m) have welcomed a beautiful baby into the world and we couldn’t be happier about it.
We agreed pretty quickly that we didn’t want any photos of our baby on the internet until they were older and could knowingly consent to it, so we made it clear to the family (before the baby even got here) that NO ONE is allowed to post photos of our baby.
Pretty much everyone understood and accepted it except my aunt.
My aunt kinda lives with an ‘I don’t actually have to follow rules’ mindset and was ‘joking’ about posting tons of photos of my baby once she gets to meet them. Naturally, we weren’t keen on it and held off letting her see the baby. Until she reached out to us begging to meet them and promised she wouldn’t post any photos of the baby though she may take some for her photo album (which we are fine with).
We take baby over to meet her and she does take a few photos but again promises she won’t post them. My partner and I left fairly happy with the visit however when we got home I opened social media to find my aunt had posted multiple photos of my baby and was even bragging in the comments that she’s ‘the only one allowed to’ obviously we had family members contacting us afterward complaining that they couldn’t post photos when my aunt could.
We kindly explained to everyone that we didn’t give aunt permission to post those photos and they thankfully understood.
However when I called my aunt to tell her to delete the photos she told me no and that ‘I’m being paranoid and no harm will come to my baby if the photos stay up’. I then told her that she either takes down the photos or she will never see my baby again and hung up.
I later got a call from my grandmother and cousins telling me I was being unreasonable and that my aunt had been crying because I was keeping my baby hostage from her. They’re saying that I’m being horrible getting upset over such a small thing and my reaction isn’t justified. I think it is.
So am I being the jerk?”
31. AITJ For Getting The Cops Involved And Risking My Mother-In-Law Facing Jail Time?
“My (F20) MIL (F63) can be very overdramatic when I’m involved in certain things. She’s a bit of a control freak about everything regarding my partner (M21). My partner is a bit naive when it comes to the real world as she has sheltered him from most of it. He moved out last year for school and she has been trying to ruin his life over the phone.
But he has asked chiefly for advice from me since she doesn’t offer the best advice.
Last year, he lost his grandmother to Alzheimer’s. She left behind a cat that we took in and affectionately named Noodle. We have had her for almost a year now.
Now for the actual story.
My partner and I went on vacation for spring break and, since none of our friends could look after her, we left Noodle by herself for a few days.
She had bird videos, more than enough food, and more than enough water. She has been left alone for a lot longer by my partner’s parents and aunt, who she had lived with before. So, the day that we were supposed to come home from our trip, we had our car broken into and they stole my partner’s camera and my house and car keys as well as my ID.
We then spent the day trying to find our belongings and the entire time, his mom (my MIL) was calling us and complaining about us leaving the cat. When we told her about the break-in and theft, neither of his parents seemed to care that we felt as violated as we did. All they cared about was us going back to our cat.
Finally, as we were giving up our search, we got another call from his mom.
She was angry and started calling us cruel to leave Noodle for 3 days. We got mad and asked her why she cared more about a cat who doesn’t even really care that we are gone than her kid who had his property stolen and their DIL who had her HOUSE AND CAR KEYS STOLEN.
She hung up on us after saying she was gonna come to get the cat. I texted her and said that if I got back home and my cat was gone, I’d call the cops. I didn’t get a reply.
Well, we got home, and lo and behold, our cat is gone as well as her food bowl and all the things we bought her.
I called my MIL and asked if she had Noodle. I didn’t even need an answer from her as I could hear my cat yowling. I told her if she didn’t bring her back, I would call the cops. She hung up on me. Well, I called the cops, and they went to her house and got my cat back, as well as charged her with theft.
I’m getting messages from his family saying I took it too far and that I should have just gone and gotten the cat, but I know this woman. She would have called the cops on me if I had gone to her house. But the reason I may be the jerk is that she may face jail time if I press charges, and she suffers from mental illness.”
30. AITJ For Not Wanting To Cross Paths With My Mean Stepdaughter?
“I (29f) have been with my husband (32) for 3 years. He has a 15-year-old daughter, ‘Ashley,’ from a previous marriage.
Ashley had never liked me. Understandable, as I also had a hard time when I was younger when my dad got remarried. I have tried to be as patient and understanding with her as I can, but she really tests my limits.
She makes remarks about my weight and appearance, and will purposely do and say things to upset me. She will make nasty remarks to me like ‘This is why my dad had an affair’ when I do something she doesn’t like. It’s true he did have an affair at the beginning of our marriage but Ashley constantly uses it against me no matter how many times I ask her not to.
A more extreme example of her expressing her dislike for me would be when she stole my deceased sister’s antique necklace from me and told me she had destroyed it and then LAUGHED when I broke down crying. She didn’t really destroy it and gave it back to me saying ‘It’s just a prank’. I’ve caught her stealing my things before (like makeup and shirts) and putting them in her bag to take back to her mom’s.
I’m constantly having things go missing but I hate to be the evil stepmother so I turn a blind eye and try to be patient.
It really hurts because I always wanted a daughter and I really wanted us to get along. I’ve brought this up to my husband so many times when she’s not in the house (so we don’t argue in front of her) and often he’s been there when she acts like this towards me but the most she ever gets as punishment is her phone taken away or he’ll tell her mom (who does nothing abt it).
It’s caused many arguments between us and put a huge strain on our marriage. He always says that she’s just a kid and is having a hard time but I always tell him that it’s not fair he won’t stick up for me and she’s old enough to tell wrong from right.
Recently we got into an argument about it when she stole an expensive eyeshadow pallet of mine and tried to make acrylic paint out of it because she saw someone do it on TikTok.
I told him that if he won’t stick up for me then when she comes over, or set any boundaries I’ll simply just leave to eliminate any conflict. He called me childish and stupid but I upheld my promise and the next time she came over I packed a bag and left to stay with some friends. They and my mom agree with me but I’m not sure if they’re biased just because we’re friends.
At first, I tried to get her to like me and often took her on shopping sprees and restaurants etc. but I’m at a point where I can’t continue to feel like a doormat in my own home. AITJ?
Edit: the reason I am so tolerant is that #1: I don’t want to be that person that resents their own stepkids and #2: I’m infertile and have always wanted children so I kept holding out hope that we could have that bond.
Maybe I should add it’s not all my husband’s fault. A large part of why Ashley doesn’t like me is probably because her mom doesn’t like me. She’s rude to me whenever I see her and I have no doubt she tells her bad things about me.”
29. AITJ For Being Honest With My Brother's Significant Other?
“My (27f) brother (22m) is going out with a girl (18f) who at first seemed okay until she started I think to impress me (not sure why as she’s not with me). I started to feel unsure about her. She was saying all the right things and seemed perfect. Almost too perfect, promising that after I moved she’d help my parents since they were moving in rent-free.
But now I absolutely can’t stand her and try to avoid her if she’s around. She has asked before saying she has a need for everyone to like her, I told her that I didn’t really know her, and didn’t really have a problem. At the time it was true, I thought she was trying too hard.
But a few days ago she confronted me saying she knows I don’t like her and wanted to know why.
I tried to avoid it by saying that my opinion didn’t really matter as she was going out with my brother, not me. She persisted so I told her that what I have seen from her is a lazy, entitled brat. That I hated the way she treated my brother and parents, and I was beginning to question if she loved my brother for the person he is or for his wallet.
She is very controlling of my brother, she skips class to sit in the parking lot of his work all day, my parents ask her to do some things around the house and she promises to do them then usually calls me because she has to go out with friends. And if I say no she has the biggest tantrum. And that she makes promises and fails to follow through.
She got really upset and left crying my brother is saying I’m the jerk as I shouldn’t have been so blunt. And worded it better, she is moving out of my parents’ house because she won’t tolerate the verbal abuse from me. And wants me to apologize. My parents are 50/50 and mainly want me to apologize to keep the peace.
But I don’t think I owe her an apology, she pushed and got feedback that she didn’t like.
I want to be perfectly clear, I do not want my brother to end his relationship because of me. I see some red flags and have told him my concerns. But this is something he has to learn on his own, I love my brother dearly and assured him that I’ll be there if he needs support.”
28. AITJ For Not Wanting To Go To My Sister's And Ex's Wedding?
“I (M27) have a twin sister (F27). For as long as I can remember, my sister and I have always been close and had each other’s backs. When she came out as gay, I was the first one she told. I supported her wholeheartedly. 3 years ago, I was engaged to my then-partner, Julie. We had met in college and became fast friends, eventually becoming a couple.
I proposed to Julie and she said yes. Everything seemed fine until I noticed that Julie had started to be a little more distant from me. Not giving me a cold shoulder or anything, but off. I asked her if she was ok. She said she was fine but would like some space for a while. I was worried, but I respected her wishes and gave her space.
A few weeks later, she broke up with me. I was devastated and didn’t know what happened. I reached out to my sister for support and she was there for me. She and Julie had gotten along really well, so I asked her if she knew what happened. She was hesitant but said yes. I asked to explain and she said it’s not her place to tell me.
I kept pushing, but my sister stood her ground and said that she can’t say why and that Julie will tell me when and if she was ready.
Well, she did. Turns out Julie was bi but thought it was just passing feelings. She’d never been with a girl before. She spoke to my sister about it, and my sister helped her realize her true sexuality and feelings.
Her words. Julie told me that it wouldn’t be fair to either of us if she didn’t embrace her true self and the fact that she no longer had the same feelings for me she had before. I was stunned, but eventually accepted it. We parted on good terms, even if it was awkward. I was heartbroken but eventually moved on (didn’t start seeing other women or want to tho for a while).
Then, one day, I found out Julie had started going out with another girl: my sister. I was shocked and, admittedly, a bit angry at both of them. I had an argument with my sister. My sister swore they didn’t do anything while she was with me, but Julie had admitted she had a crush on my sister. My sister liked her back but didn’t do anything because of me.
She swore she didn’t make Julie dump me to be with her. The sad part was, I could tell she was telling the truth.
After that, my relationship with my sister wasn’t as great as it used to be. I stopped talking to her as much or visiting.
Fast forward to a few weeks ago, and my sister comes over alone and tells me that she and Julie are engaged, and she was here to invite me to the wedding.
The rest of the conversation was a blur, but after she left, I drank. A lot. And after thinking about it for a few days, I told my sister I wouldn’t be attending her wedding. She was heartbroken and begged me to come because she wanted me there. Even my mom called me, asking me to come. I told her no. Regardless, I refuse to go. I just can’t stand having to be there in the crowd and see my sister marry the woman I had planned to marry.
I don’t know, maybe I’m just holding a grudge. AITJ?”
27. AITJ For Saying My Stepsister And I Are More Strangers Than Siblings?
“My parents are divorced. I split time between my mom and my dad still but now that I’m 16f I spend more time at my dad’s because he has the most stability and I really need that ever since my anxiety diagnosis in February 2020. My mom’s husband has a big extended family who are always staying for a period of time, or sending people they know to stay, so the household is often filled with people who are complete strangers.
My mom’s husband has a daughter who is graduating high school in a week. She lives in another state with her mom. I have spent very little time with her overall. My mom and her dad got married 8 years ago but she stays with her dad very infrequently and often he will see her at his parents’ house when she does come, and I wouldn’t be there because my mom never wanted to drive me back and forth between her in-laws and my dad’s.
I do not consider his daughter part of my family. Nor do I see her graduation as an event worth attending. Legally, the graduation falls on my dad’s parenting time but my mom and her husband wanted me to take two days to travel with them for it anyway. I said I wasn’t going to. They were annoyed. They told me she was my only sibling.
I told them I didn’t have a sibling. That we’re more strangers than siblings. They said we share parents. I pointed out my mom is hardly in her life, and definitely not parenting her, and that mom’s husband isn’t my dad either. I told them they should of course go but her graduation is not important to me in any way.
Mom told me I’m making a huge deal out of nothing and I should be more supportive of family, and my sister. Her husband told me I’m being a selfish brat.
26. AITJ For Kicking My Friend Out For Bringing A Stray Cat Into My Home?
“I’m a 29-year-old woman who inherited a house after my great-uncle passed, I was close to him and he’d never had any kids so he left it to me. I’m very aware that I’m lucky to be a homeowner at my age so I decided to help a friend out when she was looking for a place, I told her she could take one of the spare rooms in the house and only had to pay half the utility bills and split other miscellaneous costs such as groceries, etc.
My one rule however was that she couldn’t have a cat, I’m allergic to them and it’s not fun for me all in all.
She has lived with me for six months and everything was great all in all, she helped with the bills and gave me a heads up if she had company round and helped clean up, for the past two months however I’ve been having allergic reactions and I couldn’t for the life of me figure out why.
There was no cat around so why was this happening? I even asked her if she’d been around any cats thinking maybe the hair came in on her clothes and she denied it. I ended up going to my doctor worried I was developing some new allergies and even getting tested for additional allergies but I didn’t have any new ones.
I got suspicious last week when I found a couple of pieces of grey fur on the rug when hovering. I realized if a cat was coming into the house it had to be when I was at work, she and I work different schedules so it’s the only time unaccounted for. So a few days later I acted like I was going to work as usual and instead went to grab a coffee and waited, after about an hour and a half I went back and found her with a grey stray cat feeding them and petting them.
I demanded to know what was going on and why she was letting a cat in. She defended herself saying it was a stray and it wasn’t ‘living’ here really so it shouldn’t be that bad. I admit I kinda saw red at this as I’d been worried over if I was getting a new allergy also she’d made me think she wasn’t going near cats.
I told her she could have set up a bowl in the garden if she’d wanted to feed a local stray and how she had no right to bring it into my home when she knew I was allergic. I then told her she had 30 days to find a new place to live as I was done and couldn’t trust her.
I’ve had a little time to cool off and I do feel a bit guilty over this, as except this she’d been all in all a good roommate but I just don’t feel like I can trust her now and I never needed her, to begin with, I was just doing her a favor. Should I have given her a warning instead?”
25. AITJ For Calling The Bride Out On Her Inconsiderate Decisions?
“My brother (27m) is getting married to his fiancée (27f) in September. I (35f) was asked to host and plan the bachelorette party with the bride’s other future sister-in-law, Becky (38f). The party will be a four-day event in August. Becky and I were asked to take over planning when one of the bridesmaids dropped the ball. I was also asked to host the party at my house – which is out of state for everyone.
My house and my vehicles will be used. There will be a total of six of us at the party.
Becky and I have been planning this 4-day event for the past three months. We have bought party favors and gifts, collected funds from all attendees, made reservations for fun activities, put together an itinerary, etc. We have spent a lot of time, energy, and funds prepping.
There have been a few times I’ve turned down plans or friends visiting the weekend of the party because this is on the calendar.
The bride calls me and Becky yesterday and says her grandmother’s beach house in her home state has become available that weekend and wants the party to be there instead. She says it’s closer for the guests (four of the six of us) and is where she wanted it originally.
She said her cousin (who originally dropped the ball) will take over the planning. The bride says she’s been thinking about this for the past month and didn’t want to loop us in until she officially decided.
When she shared this, I was a bit frustrated, and I told her canceling something like this for a different location was basically pulling the rug out from our feet and being inconsiderate to the fact that Becky and I a) were asked to take over planning, b) already had everything lined up, c) have spend time and energy coordinating with all guests, etc.
Am I the jerk for calling the bride out on this and calling her decision inconsiderate? The bride said her decision should be hers to make and that she shouldn’t be made to feel guilty. To this, I feel as though she should feel guilty. I do see her side, but her decision to completely change things that have already been in the works for a few months to make a very special 4-day trip… seems crappy. Thoughts?”
24. AITJ For Telling The Truth About A Bully And Ruining Her Birthday Party?
“My daughter (f10) has a bully in her class, Sophia (f10). Sophia is constantly bothering Mary (f10) who is my daughter’s best friend. There is some serious offensive bullying going on. Sophia bothers Mary because she’s Jewish. She does things like pulling down her pants in front of other kids, locking her in a closet, throwing food at her, etc. None of this is against my daughter, but it’s her best friend so it affects her and she’s constantly saying she’s worried about Mary.
Mary’s mom has tried reaching out to Sophia’s parents but they always dismiss her. The school says they are aware of the situation but nothing changes so I assume they are not doing much. (We are moving away in case you ask about this but kids need to finish the school year here because there aren’t other schools around).
Sophia was having a birthday party the other weekend and the whole class was invited, plus kids from other classes too.
It was supposed to be a huge deal, but of course, my daughter and Mary said they were not going.
I don’t have much contact with other parents but the other day during pick-up, a mom I had seen before said hello and we started talking. The birthday party topic came up and I said of course my daughter is not going because of the situation with Sophia.
She had no idea about anything so I told her all the things Sophia has done to Mary and how Sophia’s mom and the school are not doing anything to change the situation. After that, I assume she went on telling a bunch of other parents in the class which apparently was the reason why only a couple of kids attended the party.
Sophia’s mom called me saying I ruined her daughter’s party by telling people an ‘exaggerated version of some minor issues she has had with another girl’ (quote). She said Sophia is devastated and cannot stop crying. Also that they spent so much and had to throw away a bunch of food because most people canceled last minute or simply didn’t show up.
The way she dismissed the bullying and said ‘minor issues’ like it was nothing, totally triggered me. I know it was not my best moment and in hindsight, I should have kept my cool but in the moment I simply couldn’t. I didn’t apologize, I said that even though this didn’t happen intentionally, I was glad it happened because her daughter deserved that. She said I am a jerk for wishing this for a 10-year-old.
I mentioned this to some friends and some agreed with me but others say I was a jerk and I should have just apologized and not started a fight with her. So, AITJ?”
23. AITJ For Returning My Roommate's Cat To The Rescue Center?
“I (24F) moved in with a friend (25F) about two months ago. She asked me if I’d be okay with her getting a cat and I said heck yeah, I love cats. She adopted an adorable orange tabby. The cat was about two years old and very sweet.
My roommate is from Europe. Apparently, outdoor cats are really common there. I was shocked when she opened the door to our apartment and just let the cat go out! I told her she shouldn’t do that because outdoor cats pose a serious risk to wildlife in our area and we live in a populated suburb and have a lot of busy roads, people, and even predators like coyotes nearby.
She got defensive and said outdoors cats are ‘the norm’ where she’s from and that cats can ‘never truly be happy indoors.’ She believes cats NEED to free roam in order to live happy, fulfilling lives. I told her that was nonsense and that she was putting the cat and local wildlife in danger. We argued about it back and forth but she wouldn’t budge.
She ultimately said it’s her cat and she decides what to do with him.
I let it go until the cat came home one night with an injured leg. I told my roommate she seriously needs to stop letting him outside but she waved me off and said ‘It’s just a scratch, he’ll be fine.’ I was shocked at how nonchalant she was! It wasn’t a life-threatening injury, but it was bad enough that he needed to be put on a course of strong antibiotics.
I was fed up and worried for the cat at this point, so I looked into the rescue’s adoption contract and policies and found out that they have a clause stating that any cats adopted from them need to be kept strictly indoors. I ended up recording proof that the cat was being kept mainly outdoors and sending it to the rescue.
They immediately responded that they wanted the cat back because their contract had been broken and they felt he wasn’t in a safe home, so when my roommate was at work, I returned the cat to them.
My roommate initially thought he ran away or got killed and was really distraught. I quickly corrected her and told her that he was alive and well, but she violated the contract and he wasn’t safe under her care so I returned him.
She screamed at me and broke my laptop in response to that. She also tried to contact the rescue to get the cat returned to her but they refused and blacklisted her from adopting more cats from them.
She has been crying nonstop and called me a monster and she’s also refusing to pay to repair or replace my laptop. Our mutual friends are torn, some think I did the right thing and others think what I did was horrible.
I feel guilty because she really does seem heartbroken and I know that she loved the cat, but I feel if I hadn’t intervened we’d find him dead on the side of the road sometime soon. Plus she’s the one who broke the rescue’s adoption contract.
EDIT: Some info that might be important: I was the one who had to take the cat to the vet after he came home with the leg injury.
My roommate was very nonchalant and thought he was fine, even though the wound began to get infected. I also got stuck doing a lot of the ‘cat chores’ because she had a very ‘hands-off’ and ‘he can fend for himself’ mindset. She even teased me about being ‘overprotective’ when all I was doing was giving him his antibiotics and making sure he got fed twice a day. She is of the belief that cats ‘are not needy pets’ and ‘don’t need to be coddled.'”
22. AITJ For Only Paying For Mine And My Significant Other's Meal?
“I’ve been planning on taking my significant other to this restaurant that just opened up near her. So I planned our date to be today.
Early that day. My SO F suddenly came up to me and said that she invited 3 of her female friends. I’m not sure why she did that without telling me before. I did not make a big deal out of it so I was like okay.
Can’t wait to meet them I guess.
So at about 4:00 pm, we started to get ready to go to the restaurant and my SO says that we have to pick up her friends because they don’t have a car apparently. So now I’m even more annoyed but I just kept calm and went with it.
We get inside, we got a seat for 5 people.
So while we were all sitting. Her friends finally acknowledged me and started to talk to me.
They were saying that my SO’s ex was 6’2 and that I’m only 5’7 and were laughing that I was balding. I started to laugh with them to hide the fact that I was very uncomfortable and angry. What was really disappointing was that my SO never told them to stop, she laughed with them.
So our food finally came and the girls were drinking. So now they were even more obnoxious and were talking loudly. I was getting stares and I even had a waiter come to our table and kindly let us know that we are being a little too loud. So at this point, I was very embarrassed.
So I was ready to leave at this point so I got a waiter to bring me 2 checks.
I was only paying for myself and my SO.
Under normal circumstances, I would’ve paid for all of them. However, I have been disrespected all evening so I did not feel obligated to.
The friends did not like that very much including my SO. When I said I was only paying for my SO and myself, they basically just started to emasculate me.
Saying I’m not a real man. They also called me broke. They said other worse things as well.
So one of the friends actually paid for the 2 others and herself, I was very tempted to leave the 3 girls at the restaurant by themselves but I did not think it would be right of me to leave 3 women by themselves alone, so I let them get into the car with me.
I was taking all of the girls and my SO back to her apartment because it was closer.
So when we got back to her place.
My SO then took me into her bedroom and closed the door. She basically said that I embarrassed her because I did not pay for her friends. I then said that the girls were making fun of me comparing me to your EX and emasculating me.
She then said I was being sensitive and that I was acting like a jerk. My SO has also been drinking so I wasn’t really taking anything she said to me personally. However I did give money to her friends, the amount I would’ve paid at the restaurant to them just to please her so she would stop talking to me about it, and then I made sure everything was alright with them and I left.
Was I the jerk in this situation? I don’t think I was obligated to pay anything but maybe I was just being sensitive, I don’t know.”
21. AITJ For Demanding My Husband To Get Our Daughter New Tools To Make A New Necklace?
“My husband and I have disagreements from time to time. Nothing major just normal stuff.
He has a habit of throwing out something of mine as a way to ‘teach me a lesson’ whenever he’s upset with me after an argument. This time he threw out the handmade necklace my daughter (13) made for me herself on Mother’s Day. The argument was about him wanting to hang out with his buddies on the day of my mom’s surgery (I wanted him to stay home and be with our daughter but he refused).
Yesterday I found out he threw out the necklace and after he admitted to what he did, I went off on him and also told him that this necklace was special to me and that my daughter spent so much time and effort to make it. She comforted me and then told me she’d make an identical one for me if I buy her the tools, I went to my husband and told him I was expecting H.I.M.
to cough up the money to pay for the tools so my daughter could make me a similar necklace. He laughed and said that I was delusional to expect him to pay when I haven’t even apologized for my ‘part’ of the argument but I felt like I had nothing to apologize for and that yes, he should stay home for a family emergency.
He said ‘Why don’t you have one of your friends come to stay with Chloe? Oh yes, you don’t have any!’ This made me mad but he said he wouldn’t pay. I told him that our daughter knew what he did which set him off saying I was trying to turn our daughter against him and brainwash her into thinking he’s the bad guy in this scenario.
I told him I’m still expecting him to pay but now he’s saying that I’m ganging up on him with our daughter.”
20. AITJ For Going Straight To HR After I Got No Response From My Managers?
“I (20F) work as a server and sometimes a cook in a chain restaurant. I worked there for about 3 months when a new employee (26M) Adam began working as a cook and I trained him. He and I got along very well and I considered us friends. About a month later he confessed his feelings for me and I let him know that I was flattered but uninterested as I already am in a relationship.
He understood and was very respectful. We remained friends even though he was still flirty with me.
Around 6 months into this job another new guy James began working there. He was an older guy about 60 and didn’t realize some things were inappropriate to say so he was constantly offending people.
A rumor started going around about Adam and I being together which we quickly shut down but James being James didn’t get that it was untrue.
One day Adam was about to leave his shift when I was starting so I took over his station. He had marked an order as done and didn’t tell me nor complete the order so about half an hour later they were asking for the order and I realized what had happened and I made some comment about how that must have been Adam since I wasn’t even here when that order was sent through.
James then said Adam does whatever he wants because we’re hooking up and after I told him to stop he repeated it several times. I got upset and reported it to the manager since that was technically harassment. The manager (we’ll call him Ron) said that was inappropriate and would discuss it with him. They talked a little bit later and walked out of the office practically arm in arm laughing together so this immediately irritated me.
I brushed it off but for the rest of the shift James was staring at me making comments under his breath and he kept kind of following me around. I told James to stop. He didn’t. I told my manager again and he just let me go home early because I was upset.
Every shift I worked with James after that he would act the same.
Kind of threatening leering and being uncomfortably close. I talked to my store manager Sam and let him know the situation and he informed me no write-up was given and nor was any sort of manager’s report written and he didn’t even know about the situation before that. I felt good after talking with Sam because he made me feel like James would have consequences but still nothing was done.
After this, I reported it to HR because I felt unsafe and dissatisfied with the situation. Both managers were required to undergo safety training and James was moved to dish. Which he didn’t like. And ended up quitting shortly after. My other coworkers think I was wrong for going to HR and I feel I might have been after James quit. I’m not sure.
Am I the jerk here?
Edit: James was having issues with other coworkers when he first started so was moved to the kitchen as punishment. Being put on dish was the only other position they could move him to. They didn’t want to fire him bc his daughter worked at the same location for the last two years.”
19. AITJ For Not Wanting My Partner's Family To Visit While I'm Pregnant?
“So I’m about to pop 39 weeks + 4 days and in weeks prior I’ve been mentioning that I do NOT want any visitors at our home.
I have difficulties walking (pelvic girdle pain), exhausted, overwhelmed, and quite anxious about the impending birth. We suffered a miscarriage last year so my mind is going haywire. I’m trying to relax as much as possible and calm myself down.
My social anxiety is also heightened at this point.
My partner told me that his parents and brother are coming over on Sunday (he told me Saturday). And I said I guess I can make some brownies for tomorrow. The next day I really wasn’t feeling so good mentally or physically and I tried to inform him that I do not want visitors.
He told me I can just be in the bedroom and they can visit for half an hour or something.
I said I was uncomfortable with this since I do not want to seem weird by just hiding in the bedroom, it’s my house as well as his and I felt bad that I asked him to meet them elsewhere. I also felt really bad that my partner was insistent on them coming over because it put me in a spot where I have to be the bad guy and say no even though I’ve been saying that I do not want visitors.
He said: you don’t want visitors but I do.
Another thing is I don’t have a comfortable relationship with his dad, not really close to the stepmom either. They’re quite strange people I just feel like I have to tolerate – except for this particular Sunday. The last time we met his dad made a disparaging comment about me gaining weight if I continue to eat Nutella on bread which has been my craving throughout pregnancy and I’ve only ever gained the minimum amount.
Plus he suddenly touched my growing belly to feel the baby and I felt violated but was too shocked to say so. Needless to say, I really didn’t feel like having anyone over so my partner just met them somewhere else.
18. AITJ For Saying I Was More Concerned With My Cat's Safety Than My Sister's Kid?
“My sister (36f) has a 3-year-old that I (22f) absolutely adore. I’ve babysat many times unpaid just because I love to hang out with that kid.
My sister and I have had several problems in the past due largely to conflicting personalities. Just as an example a couple of months ago, she said in complete seriousness ‘I know that as the oldest I’ve set a pretty high bar for you and that must be difficult’.
Anyways the problems with my sister really came to a boiling point when we both went down to visit my parents who live a couple hours away from us both. My partner, my cat, and I arrived a couple of days before my sister. When my sister arrived with my niece, her husband, and her two dogs I had been wrapping a present I had gotten for my niece so I ran to the back room when I heard their cars so I could finish wrapping the present.
When they came in they let their dogs run into the house which scared my cat off. When I came out and I didn’t see my cat I asked if anyone had seen him and everyone said they didn’t know where he was.
Since my parents live in the mountains I worried that my indoor cat had run outside at some point when the door had been open.
I started looking and I couldn’t find him anywhere in the house, I started to get more worried. At this point, nobody except my partner is helping me look. Finally, my mom makes an obligatory pass around the house but still, none of us could find my cat.
My parents told me that I should stop looking because he’d probably show up and that I was ruining everyone’s night by walking around so much.
I told them that I really loved my cat and was worried.
My parents started getting angry and raising their voices a bit. At this point, my sister says that I need to stop looking for the cat because she has a toddler and she doesn’t want her around ‘this type of energy’. I told her that at the moment it wasn’t about her and that I didn’t want my cat to get hurt.
She said I was being selfish and that I should do what she said because she’s a mom who has a 3-year-old. I told her I didn’t care since I was more concerned with my pet’s safety.
She hasn’t let me see my niece since and my mom thinks I was in the wrong here and should apologize.
I found kitty under the springboard later so no worries he’s okay!”
17. AITJ For Wanting To Work Out By Myself?
“I (23F) frequent the gym quite regularly, I work out about 4x a week, doing weight lifting and cardio for about 2-3 hours usually. I’ve been doing this since high school when I was a soccer player and have just kept it up since. I also eat a protein-focused diet to maintain my muscles and stuff, I’m not really ‘buff’ just more than toned I guess.
The thing is, I love going to the gym by myself, I don’t really partake in group workouts like yoga or cycling because it makes me extremely uncomfortable. I get really self-conscious about my body to the point I hate looking at myself in the mirror or I hate the way I feel.
When I was in elementary/middle school I was fat, like the whole fat Hispanic girl with braces and acne and stuff.
Growing up I got picked on by both my family and school bullies which is why I got so into soccer and working out. I’m still overcoming some body dysmorphia and eating disorders but my therapist says I’m getting better. My mom and sisters still make comments about my body but I’ve basically gone no contact with them.
A few days ago I get a text from my friend Lynn (25F) and she messages me about wanting to work out together.
She told me she wants to lose some baby weight from her daughter since she saw at the doctor’s office from an appointment that she weighs 185 lbs. She said she appreciates it and would take it very seriously and thanked me ahead of time. I responded exactly like this ‘Hey Lynn, I’m sorry but I prefer working out by myself and I’m not a trainer so I don’t feel comfortable showing someone the ropes of weight lifting, but I’m happy to hear about your fitness journey and would love to introduce you to a personal trainer I know/have gone to at an all girls gym I go to, just let me know’.
Well, the next day after I woke up she did not respond but I had other messages from our mutual friends saying how horrible I was for fat-shaming Lynn, that I was a fake jerk, and that I was being selfish and ‘gatekeeping’ my fitness secrets. I was obviously flabbergasted and told them what actually happened with the screenshots. They told me that Lynn said I called her fat and that I wasn’t going to train her because I don’t want people to know my fitness routine because ‘I want to be the hottest friend’. I tried calling Lynn but she apparently blocked me. A few of our mutual friends are on my side and have apologized but the others are saying I’m still a jerk.”
16. AITJ For Walking Out After Seeing My Partner Tolerating His Friends' Inappropriate Comments About Me?
“I (25F) am a former professional Gymnast. I retired last year and now coach other aspiring Gymnasts. Like many in my profession, I had to retire at this age range due to the strain of the sport and the fact that I’m no longer my most flexible.
I’ve been with my partner (29M) for 10 months, unlike me he isn’t in the sports industry, he is a programmer.
We went to a party tonight at his friend’s house and this was a good way for him to introduce me to everyone all at once though I’ve met a couple of them.
Most of them were really nice and I got along with those ones, but a few got gross when they learned of my profession and I’m sure many of you can guess the comments that followed, speculation on my flexibility, our bedroom activity, etc.
I was very uncomfortable at this but my partner just laughed along with them. I told them I didn’t like that kind of talk and it degraded my sport how people always jump to that. My partner told me to relax and they just meant it as a joke and it continued on until I told my partner I was going home and left clearly upset.
He tried to stop me but I didn’t let him, telling him that his friends could enjoy their ‘speculation’ with me gone. It’s now nearly 1 am and I’m at home upset and feeling awful about the whole thing, my partner has been texting me saying I overreacted and how I embarrassed him, and how I should expect those kinds of comments.
I usually have a thicker skin about this stuff I’ve heard it all before, girls and women who are gymnasts are often seen inappropriately by people but I was stressed about meeting his friends and making a good impression and then ambushed by this so it got under my skin more than it usually would.
I’m ignoring his texts and not replying right now as I don’t feel in a good frame of mind to not snap further. Should I have just accepted it and not stormed off? Maybe tried to lead the conversation elsewhere? I feel bad for embarrassing him in front of his friends but I was embarrassed first. I wanted them to take me seriously as his SO, not make me the joke of inappropriate speculation.”
15. AITJ For Bringing Up How My Dad's Best Friend's Son Used To Bully Me?
“I went to the same school as the son of my dad’s best friend. He and his friends were the popular crowd and they used to bully me and my friends when we were 13-17. I never said anything to my parents because they all loved him and our families spent a lot of time together so I was worried he would bully me outside of school too if I got him into trouble.
I’m 24 now and I hadn’t seen him in a few years since he moved abroad.
Our families are still close and we all had dinner together a few days ago. He kept trying to talk to me throughout and invited me on a trip his friends were all taking. He was acting like we were old friends who lost touch and it was making me upset.
Eventually, he gave up and asked me if he had said or done something to upset me, which is when I brought up how he and his friends used to bully me.
He denied it and said they were only teasing me and he always thought we were friends which seemed absurd to me since it never felt like he wanted to be friends.
Things got really awkward since our parents never knew he bullied me so they all kept asking questions and I could tell he was getting upset since I was making him look really bad. My sister kept trying to get me to drop it and change the subject but both sets of parents wanted more info.
Once dinner was over my sister said I embarrassed our family in front of him and I was being petty by still holding onto a childish grudge when he was trying to be nice to me. He also texted me telling me he was sorry and he wanted to make things up to me but I ignored him.
14. AITJ For Treating My One Niece Differently Than My Other One?
“I (39F) have no children, but my younger brother Tim (36M) and his wife Jessica (36F) had two girls, Polly (20F) and Lauren (17F). Tim has a decent job with benefits but he doesn’t make a ton of money, and I’ve always tried to find a balance between being generous to the girls as their aunt and not spoiling them or making them feel like everything in life was going to be handed to them.
Polly has grown into a responsible, self-directed person. She did well in high school. When she got into college, I told her that I would pay for what her scholarships didn’t cover. She did great on the MCAT, and now wants to go to medical school, which I have already privately told her that I will pay for. Lauren seems rudderless and is doing relatively poorly in high school, to the point where she isn’t going to get scholarships in college since she’ll probably have about a 2.5 GPA, and that’s being optimistic.
Several months ago, Polly told me Lauren was bragging to her friends that I was going to drop about $60,000 a year for her to attend college, and she was leaning toward a fashion design program. I gently told Lauren that I wasn’t comfortable doing that due to her disinterest in school thus far, her unwillingness to explore possible career options, her lack of any backup plans, and her inability to tell me why she wanted to do fashion design other than because it seemed ‘cool.’ She got angry and said that if I had paid Polly’s way I should pay for hers as well, or cut her a check for what it cost to send Lauren to college so that she can travel.
My sister-in-law has since called me because Lauren has done the math on what Polly’s college and medical school costs will be and has said that I’m not giving Lauren the same chance to succeed. At the time I said that Lauren was able-bodied and neurotypical and that her interest in school seemed only to be because her friends are thinking about it, so I wasn’t going to pay for her to party through college and either earn poor grades or drop out entirely. But if I don’t treat her the same as I did Polly, WIBTJ?”
13. AITJ For Being Mad At My Husband For Not Telling Me He Was Buying His Daughter A Mercedes Benz?
“My daughter and stepdaughter are the same age. When they turned 16, they both got their licenses and my ex chose to buy our daughter a Mercedes. Personally, I was against it, but I recognize that he is an equal parent. SD was extremely upset and it really affected the dynamic of our household. I went from having an ok/sometimes good relationship with her to her hating me.
She pulled away from her dad even, and she had never gotten along with my daughter, but that was the point of no return for them.
She is 21 now. We have an ok relationship with her, but I won’t act like Mercedes isn’t still the elephant in the room and I do think she is more reserved with us because she is still hurt.
We’ve tried to talk to her and ask if we did anything wrong that she hasn’t told us but she brought it back to the car and said that was so blatantly in her face and hurtful that it made her question us as parents. My husband was broken up over it and always promised her he would make it right.
We never talked specifically about what that meant and he recently presented SD with a Mercedes. I was furious. We aren’t rich and this was a huge purchase for him to make without consulting me.
SD was pretty taken aback and the first thing she said was ‘It can be returned, right?’ SD does not need this car. She drives a 1.5-year-old BMW and as SD put it if she can afford that, she could have afforded a Mercedes.
She bought the car she wanted. My husband was devastated.
I could hardly contain myself and the minute we got into the car I lost it and asked how he could betray me like that. He tried to defend himself and says this has been killing him inside for years and he made it his goal to get her that car. He said he just wanted to give her something because she wouldn’t allow him to contribute to buying her home.
I could tell he was getting emotional but I was just too upset and called him selfish and a liar and said I didn’t know if I could ever move past this.
We’ve since cooled down but he says I was cruel to him in the car and he still resents how I spoke to him and that as a parent I should try to empathize.”
12. AITJ For Not Wanting My Father To Name His Baby After My Older Sister?
“My father (66M) and his partner Vanessa (26F) are pregnant with a baby girl. After recent events, I’ve (38F) been trying to get to know Vanessa better. We were discussing potential names that she was looking at for the baby, and she said that my father wanted to name the baby Eleanor.
I didn’t know what to say because Eleanor is also my older sister’s name.
My sister and father have a difficult history. There was always a question over whether she was biologically his child, and he resented her – they’ve never had a loving relationship. It ended when she was 24 and he cut her off financially and from the family after she got pregnant by a partner he didn’t approve of. Their little family struggled financially because of this.
I did what I could without my parents finding out, but it was rotten to know how much easier their lives would be with even the smallest bit of financial help (my parents are very financially well off, so it would’ve been no skin off their backs). Eleanor lived a happy enough life with her husband and son, but she passed away back in 2018.
Given all this, I think it’s poor taste to call the new baby Eleanor. From how Vanessa spoke, I’m unsure if Father has told her how he treated Eleanor while she was with us.
I talked to my father about this myself and expressed how I felt. He said that it was his choice, how Vanessa liked the name, and how there could be ‘more than one Eleanor in the world’.
He misses Eleanor too, but he’s mature enough to move on and realize it’s just a name.
I told my mother about it and she’s livid at him too. Father said I shouldn’t have told her and gotten her involved. He said I ruined the gender reveal for Vanessa (I heavily implied to him that the baby would be the boy he wanted, and he wasn’t happy when it wasn’t), and now I was trying to ruin something else for her. That I should move on because my half-sister’s name doesn’t affect me at all.
Am I wrong for pushing this, or should I just accept it?”
11. AITJ For Not Insisting That My Daughter Take Her Stepsister To The Concert?
“I (40f) have a daughter (17) Blue with my ex-husband. My current husband has a daughter (17) Red with his ex-wife. Custody is easy enough, my ex-husband has Blue every weekend and Red is with her mom every weekend so every weekday both girls are with me and my husband. This works out well for everyone.
However, Blue’s dad always buys her concert tickets as a reward for school.
He buys her 2 tickets so she can take a friend with her. Her most recent concert was last month for 5SOS (her favorite band). Red wanted to go with her as she liked most of their songs but Blue took her best friend (another superfan) instead. This upset Red as she thought it was unfair as Blue took her best friend to the last 5SOS concert which they travelled to the UK for as they didn’t come to our country.
The flights and accommodations were paid for all by Blue’s dad so that didn’t give me much of a say as to who Blue could take.
Well, Blue’s dad surprised her with Harry Styles tickets (standing) and Blue chose to take her best friend as they’re both massive fans. Red got angry and said it was unfair how Blue never took her to these concerts.
My husband told Blue she couldn’t go to Harry unless she took Red and Blue told me immediately. I sided with Blue and told my husband and Red that Blue’s father had paid for it as Blue had been doing so well in school and as he had paid for it, none of us had a say and that Blue was taking her best friend because the two became friends because of Harry.
My husband said he was sick of me favoring my daughter the whole time.
He told me I was the jerk because Red wanted to go and I was practically telling Blue that ‘Red wasn’t important’. His family has been reaching out to me to tell me to take the tickets and give them to Red as she was now Blue’s sister. I feel torn over this as Red and my husband aren’t speaking to me. AITJ? I might have sided with Blue, but it seemed reasonable.”
10. AITJ For Firing My Friend For Betraying My Trust?
“My (31M) ex-wife and I divorced after she got pregnant with my son Tyler. Ever since we both met and started our relationship we were on the same page about being child-free. For me that changed when she found out she was pregnant. She was still on board with not having a child and wanting to terminate but I started having doubts.
We talked about it many times until we realized we were no longer on the same page. She didn’t go through with terminating but she did want to give him up for adoption instead. I opposed that and agreed to raise him myself.
That spelled the end of our relationship because she didn’t want a child in our lives. We filed for divorce then once he was born I had full custody of him and raised my son as a single father.
After my wife came into the picture and legally adopted him after we married I had nothing to do with my ex anymore.
Until last year she’s been messaging me wanting to talk about seeing Tyler but I already told her he has a mom already so just let us be. Since both I and my wife work Tyler (4) has a sitter Kara who’s a friend of mine that stays with him during the day.
She was a mutual friend of mine and my ex-wife but she didn’t have contact with her until after the divorce. Or that’s what I thought.
One of my friends told me she knows Kara has been updating my ex about Tyler for a couple of months because she brought it up to them once since she felt bad doing this behind our backs, but also felt guilty that my ex can’t see Tyler anymore even if she signed away her rights and now regrets it.
I was so furious when I confronted Kara about it. She showed me all their messages. None of it was saying where we live or pictures of him but telling her what he ate, what his favorite books are, and such. But I was still angry she was telling her things about my son behind my back.
I told her to get out.
But now she’s begging me to give her a chance and she will completely delete my ex’s contact and block her because she really needs this job and it’ll look bad to her future job opportunities. Since my mom started to come watch him instead I told her why so she’s the one telling me it wasn’t right to fire her without giving her a chance to change.
Also because she can understand her POV with my ex no longer having access to my son and feeling like a desperate mother.
It’s just really hard to understand why I’m the bad guy for not wanting anyone talking to my ex about my son just because she had a change of heart. My friend keeps begging me to give her another chance and even some friends thought outright firing her instead of coming up with a different solution was over the top. It is hard because she was a good friend before finding this out. AITJ?”
9. AITJ For Telling My Mom They're Not Doing A Good Job At Parenting?
“For the last 2 years, I (18F) completely avoided outings because my parents don’t allow me to use public transportation or Ubers/taxis and they always tell me I’m inconveniencing them when I ask them to take me places. I only went out like 3 times in the last 2 years. I deserved the reward after graduating and having spent a lot of effort in academics for a long time, so I went out with one of my friends (my third outing since graduation) from 5 pm-9 pm.
I was picked up and I was worried about an argument with my parents because I’d been going out more than usual, but nothing happened.
I got home and got changed, then lay in bed. My dad walked in a while later. I was showing my sister a video on my phone (I was laying on my bed sideways, he didn’t knock) and he stood in my doorway while staring at me blankly then shook his head and left.
He then shouted (I could still hear him from my room) about how I think I’m royalty and they all live and work for me, how I’m entitled and disrespectful, and didn’t even move to acknowledge him when he walked into my room. I was hurt because it was a huge overreaction and we didn’t have the best relationship growing up (he has anger management issues) and I was hoping that our relationship would get better.
He’d started teaching me how to drive too so we were bonding.
The next day, I avoided my parents. Midday, my mom pulled me aside and asked me what was wrong. I said nothing and she said that it isn’t normal that every time I go out with my friends I’d come back and treat them like crap.
Anyways, this morning I woke up to have breakfast and I overheard my dad asking my mom if I would honor them with my presence, Mom replied that she wanted nothing to do with me.
I walked in a second after and my dad saw me, so I ignored it until he left the house. I asked my mom why she was angry with me, and she said she wasn’t, so I told her that I heard my dad cussing me out a couple of days ago, and that was why I may have been distant and avoidant yesterday.
She said she didn’t say anything and didn’t understand why I did that to her (true) and I told her that I just wanted to be alone and that I didn’t mean to do anything inherently hurtful.
I also told her I overheard her this morning, which was followed by her blowing up and telling me that I had no right to hold them accountable for what they said about me, that I’m the child and they’re the parents.
I told her that I didn’t sign up for elementary school and that it isn’t normal to talk trash about me like that, and that if I did something to bother them I’d like to be told about it rather than cussed out. She said she’s not obligated to tell me anything, that if her parents cussed her out she would only ask for their forgiveness, and that I’m an ungrateful brat when they go above and beyond for me. I told her that they do the bare minimum of parenting, and she said I was entitled to nothing in this world.
8. AITJ For Advising My Siblings To Make Our Mother Kick Them Out?
“I (21F) am one of five kids. 4 belonging to my parents and 1 belonging to my father and my stepmother. My half-sister is 14 years younger than me so I spent most of my life with all my brothers. My parents divorced in 2010. Pretty ugly divorce, custody battle, and settlement issues. My mom got custody of all of her kids and we lived with her 6 days a week and saw my dad on the weekends.
When I was 15, my mother started to act differently. Apparently, she had acted this way my entire life (which caused the divorce) but I was young and didn’t notice. She was bringing around different men and treating us kids like her personal maids to clean for her male guests. She also started to threaten the people I would hang out with.
Friends and even boys I was interested in would get threatening voicemails from her from my phone saying they better stay away or she’d have them put in jail. I ended up leaving her house at 16 and living with my dad but she continued to text, call and even write me letters telling me how I ruined her life and I’d always be alone.
I am now married with kids. My three younger brothers still live with my mom and she continues to treat them worse than she treated me but they cannot leave her house due to some new custody agreement my parents have. The only way they can leave is if she kicks them out. I told them if they make her miserable enough, she might disown them and kick them out and they could live with my dad (which he wants). If you’re wondering why my dad doesn’t try to get full custody, he’s tried on three separate occasions. The court system seems to think my mother is the more coherent parent.
AITJ for telling them to go to such extreme lengths?”
7. AITJ For Wanting To Help Our Brother Get In Good Shape?
“I (21M) have two younger brothers, Diego (20M) and Irvin (17M). Irvin is from my mom’s second marriage to my stepdad. Diego and I are pretty involved in Irvin’s life and we visit him whenever we can, right now, both Diego and I are attending college and we both live with our dad around 1 to 2 hours away from mom and Irvin.
Since we live with him, we usually spend summer and winter break with our mom. Our dad is an ex-military, he never stopped working out and when we were old enough, Diego and I began to have the same lifestyle as him, he, later on, became a nutritionist and recently got his master’s in health.
My stepdad’s side of the family is, for the most part, morbidly obese, we don’t judge and we’ve never made any bad comments toward them, but Diego and I were pretty concerned for our brother because most of my stepdad’s relatives has either died from heart failures, diabetes or things related to obesity, Irvin has never been a small guy, but he could still keep track with us on our morning run and small workouts we did at home, then we both left for college and he began to get from bad to worse; he had a hard time with long walks, didn’t last during our runs, hard time breathing, had to stop when speaking, you get the drill.
The worse thing was that my step-dad never took it seriously, he’d swear and swear that Irvin is okay and it was just ‘a boy being a boy’, how food was important, that he’ll ‘grow the weight out’ and things like that. At 17, Irvin weighs 230 lbs (almost the same as our step-dad, and he’s 42) and is on the verge of getting diabetes, and since he doesn’t take it serious, Irvin doesn’t do it too.
This is not about appearance or anything like that, my brother comes from a family with a bunch of weight diseases and we only want him to be safe and healthy.
Diego and I decided to sit our mom and stepdad down and lay out all of these facts, we even asked our dad to give us some things to prove our arguments and we offered (begged, actually) to let us take Irvin to our dad so he can evaluate him and make a diet and a work out set for him, for free.
We will accompany him to the gym, we will teach him how to make his own food, and we will take care of it. Mom was on board, but our stepdad called us ‘bullies’ for ‘calling our brother fat’, Diego tried to explain to him calmly that it wasn’t like that but I had enough and snapped, I got up and called him a horrible father for not taking this seriously and that if Irvin ends up dying, it’s his fault. He called us jerks and kicked us out and said we are not allowed to come back until we apologize.”
6. AITJ For Letting My Daughter Keep Her Collection?
“When our kids were growing up, my wife had… a lot of rules regarding what media she’d let into the house. The main thing was that she didn’t want any toys or stuff of villains. Any time our son got a Darth Vader or Joker or whatever toy for a birthday or Christmas, she’d toss it out and lecture our son before replacing it with something ‘acceptable’.
This was one of the many factors that led to our divorce and contributed to why our two children mostly live with me (they spend one week a month with my ex).
Now, during our marriage, this didn’t matter as much for my daughter Sara. People don’t usually give girls Maleficent or Ursula dolls (not even sure if they make those). But my daughter has a big fixation on Wanda from the MCU.
She’s never out and out said it, but I’m pretty sure Avengers 2 was how my daughter realized she liked girls.
Regardless Sara is 17 now and still has a massive Wanda collection. Every toy, piece of art, mug, you name it, she’s got it. Which has never been a problem… until now. Because my ex finally saw Multiverse of Madness, and she knows Wanda is a villain now.
And my daughter’s social media means she knows that I haven’t done a thing about her room.
My ex EXPLODED. Phone calls, texts, emails, trying to sic her friends and family on me. Genuinely, I think she took my saying I wanted a divorce better than she’s been taking my letting Sara keep her collection. Normally I’d let it wash over me but…
this is clearly bothering her a LOT. Like, a lot a lot. And while I’d never ask Sara to throw away or get rid of everything, I’m a little worried that letting her keep it all up could either be having a negative impact on my ex’s mental health or be setting my kids up for a bad time at her house.
I recognize that my ex is unreasonable, but am I being a jerk for just ignoring her?”
5. AITJ For Wanting To Bring My Dog To Thanksgiving?
“I’m the youngest of 5 siblings, and we all live in Oregon, but for my beloved brother, let’s call him ‘George’. George lives in San Francisco, which is about a 13-hour trip by car, and 2 by plane. He’ll come to visit several times a year, both to see us and also because he owns an apartment building here. When George visits, he’ll usually stay with me, and I’ll loan him my car and cook for him (he prefers homemade food).
Everyone loves George, but he’s been complaining about having to take these trips rather than the family coming out to see him.
Enter Thanksgiving. He invites my sister and me to come down to SFO, and since neither of us likes to fly over the holidays, my sister offered to drive the two of us. How perfect! She has a large hatch-back, which means my dog can fit comfortably in the back.
My dog is called ‘Robert’, and he’s absolutely the sweetest – loves nothing more than to cuddle, get petted, sleep on my foot, low drama. The thing about Robert though is he’s a rescue. In his previous life, he wasn’t treated very well, so he gets SEVERE separation anxiety when I leave him alone. He’ll search all over the house looking for me, give up, then start over a few minutes later.
He won’t eat. He’ll literally go on a hunger strike. One time, my nephew gave Robert Mcdonald’s chicken nuggets because he had barely eaten a thing in 3 days.
The last time I hired a dog-sitter for Robert, she had excellent reviews online, but completely bailed on him the first day and LEFT HIM OUTSIDE the entire time. My neighbors called and I had to end my trip early.
George knows all of this, so I wasn’t expecting resistance to the idea of bringing Robert with us. He said he’d think about it, then called two days later and said no way. He was concerned about Robert’s ‘behavior problems’ (what?!) and said he was concerned about his floors. ‘George, you had a dog for 10 years until just recently, and the only ‘behavioral problems’ Robert has is he freaks out when I leave town without him’.
I had Robert’s nails sanded so he wouldn’t scuff up the floors.
He wouldn’t budge. So, I said I’m not coming then. We’re a package deal.
This caused a bit of hoopla, and I got an email a few days later accusing ME of having ‘behavioral problems’ (I’m a grown professional woman). AITJ for canceling?
P.S. George booked a flight to spend Thanksgiving in Florida and didn’t even bother telling my sister, who was coming with me, that Thanksgiving was canceled. I dunno, but I feel like someone in this story has a behavioral problem, and it sure ain’t the dog…”
4. AITJ For Not Liking My Roommate's Dog's Name?
“I live with my roommate, ‘Lisa’. Lisa lived in Russia for at least the first several years of her life, and she and her parents then immigrated to the United States. Lisa is a great roommate, we’ve had no issues.
She recently wanted to get a dog and asked if I minded if she did. I said no. Several months later she brought home a lab puppy.
She’s always taken care of him, and he hasn’t caused any issues and is really very sweet. My issue is not at all with him. She’s had him for a little over two weeks.
She didn’t tell me his name until a few days ago, she said she hadn’t decided. When she told me the name I felt uneasy. I don’t want to say it but it’s a very stereotypically Russian name and with recent events, I wasn’t sure that was a good idea.
I told her that and she brushed it off, said that she had always wanted a dog when she was growing up and that she had had this name picked out for years but wanted to make sure she thought it fit him.
I again told her I thought it was a bad idea with recent events people may get the wrong idea about her or what she supports, and that I would feel uncomfortable calling him that.
She didn’t listen so I eventually gave her an ultimatum, I would not live with the dog if that was his name. I don’t want to have to explain that to everyone I meet or for them to immediately assume things about me, especially since he was born after everything happened.
She was shocked and got really upset at me, and has been storming around since then and refusing to talk to me, except for when she said she wouldn’t be renewing the lease so I didn’t have to worry about living with her or her dog.
Some of my friends think I went too far but many agree with me and say she shouldn’t be naming her dog that.
3. AITJ For Giving My Partner Honest Feedback About Her Blankets?
“I (29M) have been with my partner (28F) for 8 months.
My partner has many hobbies, among them are crocheting and volunteering at a harm reduction center in our city. I won’t pretend to know a lot about crochet because I’ve never done it and she’s the first person I know who does. Her work at the harm reduction center is simply great though, she is really good at it and has saved someone’s life before from overusing substances.
For the past couple of weeks, she’s been working a lot on blankets for the regulars in her center. I guess she does this every year when it starts to get cold out. She gets donations to buy yarn and then makes blankets for people in their favorite colors and in designs she thinks they would like. Blankets are her favorite things to make so this is like a fun thing for her to get to do.
I was blown away by how much she spent on yarn this year, close to $500, and even though it’s mostly not her money I was just flabbergasted.
My thing is that even though the stuff she makes is pretty, that’s about all it is. I’ve never personally reached for one of the blankets she’s made for her apartment because when I look at them they just have a lot of holes and gaps in them.
I’m sure it’s a design thing, but that type of blanket is basically for show – how warm can it be when if you stretch it out at all you’re making gaps in it?
So I brought this up to her because I feel like with that much money you can buy better blankets for cheaper and then use the rest to buy stuff for the center.
And that her blankets wouldn’t do anything to keep someone warm on the streets. She said that this is something all of the regulars look forward to every year because they need the blankets but they also love having something that was handmade special for them and some of them haven’t had that in ages after living on the streets for so long.
I said that was fine but a good feeling from the gift isn’t enough to keep them warm. She said I was being obtuse, that they ARE warm, and that I always wear the scarf and hat she made me, aren’t those warm? But those are different because they’re things you wrap tightly around yourself.
She went back to her place upset and frustrated because she feels like I am intentionally not listening but I feel like if you guys could see the stuff she was making you’d agree with me that they are completely useless blankets.”
2. AITJ For Accusing My Stepdaughter Of Stealing My Sanitary Pads?
“I’ve (29F) been married to Mark (47M) for four years, and we went out for 3 years. Mark has a daughter, Jess (16F) from a previous relationship, whom he’s the custodian parent of. I always try to be there for Jess as a best friend more than a motherly figure as it seems more appropriate due to the age gap between me and her.
According to Jess, recently (Monday or Tuesday) she got her first period, but she didn’t tell me for reasons she won’t say but I’m going to make the assumption that she didn’t tell me out of embarrassment. Anyways following the timeline, before the day she started (Sunday) I went shopping for personal hygiene products and bought 2 boxes of sanitary pads, as my own menstrual cycle was nearing, and left them in my and Mark’s bathroom.
Anyways I started spotting Tuesday and that’s when I noticed a whole pack of pads was gone in the bathroom.
Of course, Jess being the only other woman in the house I went to her room.
Here’s where I may be the jerk: I asked Jess if had she taken the box of sanitary pads in my and her dad’s bathroom, to which she denied it in embarrassment.
With my periods being heavy and painful and my hormones all over the place, I accused her of lying, seeing the box on her bedside table, to which she answered she didn’t have the energy to argue back. Until her dad came up to see what was all the commotion, to which I told him about the missing sanitary pads and him seemingly being awkward about the situation and saying it shouldn’t matter if Jess took my ‘female products’ and I was making a drama out of nothing.
I left the room angrily telling Jess that if she wants sanitary pads to get her dad to pay for them or at least ask me to get them in the future, and took the rest of the box of pads with me.
Please note that I hate sharing things with people and it’s not that I’m snobby or self-centered, I just don’t like sharing my stuff, simple as that.
1. AITJ For Making My Husband Stop Taking Our Daughters On Dates?
“I (35F) am a mom of 2 girls (12 and 8) and 3 boys (10, 5 & 2). I’ll preface this story by stating that my religious faith and morals are EXTREMELY important to me and heavily influence my lifestyle and the way I raise my children.
The church my family belongs to has a tradition of holding monthly group father-daughter dinner dates followed by dances at the church, with the purpose of teaching girls how, in their words, ‘they should be treated and respected’ by men they date.
There’s a brochure issued by my church on these dates that gives dads guidelines on how they should behave towards their girls – hold doors for them, pay for them, be physically protective of them, etc. For years, my husband took my girls on these dates, and they absolutely ‘loved’ them.
Over the last few months, a large group of women in my church started protesting in person & on social media over customs they found sexist and discriminatory, including the dress code, aspects of our pastor’s preaching, and ways our church clubs were run.
One of the things they protested most was a youth group for girls only that encouraged/taught about modesty (which both my daughters were members of). This club had its members write songs and perform skits about being modest.
As a result of the protesting, my church got rid of this modesty club. And multiple other changes were made to encourage equality. My pastor went to great lengths to show how he’d changed.
But in spite of this equality, the father-daughter date tradition, and the expectations girls were instilled with on it for how they deserve to be treated by men, remained unchanged. My husband remained every bit as happy about going on these dates.
I approached my husband. I told him that I believe that if our daughters are going to be given equality in all areas of church, then I feel they have a moral obligation to give up any traditional privileges/special treatment they get that boys don’t, and this includes father-daughter dates.
I stated how continuing to take them on these dates would seem hypocritical to me and might be spoiling our daughters. One of the big moral lessons I teach my children is the idea that ‘you can’t get something for nothing’, and this would go against that. My husband pushed back at first since he loves the dates and seeing our girls happy, but I stressed to him that I just wouldn’t feel right having him do it anymore and that it would bother me morally.
Eventually, he agreed he’d stop taking them on dates.
My daughters were EXTREMELY sad & disappointed. Recently, one of my friends with girls my age who still go on these dates noticed my girls had stopped going on them and asked why. I gave her the explanation above, and she got really mad at me, accused me of being ‘misogynistic’, and said I’m ‘punishing my girls’ for being given equality in the church. Am I a jerk?”