People Tell Their Odd "Am I The Jerk" Stories To Test Our Judgment

"I (18 M) live with my mom, stepdad, and two half-siblings. I've been paying rent monthly ($350) for the past year.

I also help my parents out with their store, pick up and drop off my siblings at their soccer practice every evening, and buy food for everyone every weekend if not daily. I also work 25 hours a week. I'm in my senior year.

Well, yesterday, I told my mom that I wouldn't be able to help out with the store this weekend as I've made plans with some friends.

She got tense and told me to cancel my plans as the weekends get very busy and she would need my help.

I said that that wasn't fair as I rarely go out and deserve to go this once. She got furious and called me out for being selfish and ungrateful despite letting me live under their roof, and threatened to kick me out there and then.

This is not the first time she has done this. I've been told I'd get kicked out over not talking to my extended family properly, not babysitting my siblings while my parents were out for dinner (it was exam season!), not getting good enough grades, etc.

Here's where I think I might be the jerk. I got visibly upset and reminded her that I've been paying the rent and doing whatever chores she needs me to do, working in the store without any pay and that she is the ungrateful one for not acknowledging all that I do, and it is manipulative of her to threaten to kick me out to get things done from me.

I shouldn't have said the last part because she is after all letting me live in her house at a cheap rent. (I've been saving to move out as soon as I graduate high school, hopefully before that.)

She didn't say anything and just left. I also left the house and went to my friend's without apologizing.

I came home today evening and my stepdad wanted to talk to me. He said that what I had said to my mom was wrong and domineering, to control my emotions and to 'remember my place.' I went to my room, and I'm typing this now.

Am I the jerk for being upset at my mom and standing up for myself after being threatened to get kicked out yet again even though she lets me live under her roof at a cheap rent?"

Another User Comments:

"NTJ. You sound like Cinderella.  The best thing about this is that you are a competent and articulate person and you can aim high.

But I hope you will find a way to make up for the cruel treatment you have suffered and to compensate yourself for your lost childhood. Are there any trusted adults around, in whom you can confide?

You need to start planning your escape, by secretly and securely saving as much as you can and gathering essential documents.

If you can, stop paying rent. As you say, you are working much of every day for free!" Time-Tie-231

Another User Comments:

"NTJ, your parents are loading you with responsibilities that don't belong to you, and they feel entitled to your time. They haven't realized that they need you more than you need them.

Move out as soon as you can, and when this happens, they will continue to ask for your help and blackmail you by saying that you owe them for everything they did for you. But remember, children don't owe anything to their parents; you didn't choose to be born, they chose to have you, and therefore, they are responsible for you." Hour-Wind-2410